0:04 The History of English In Ten Minutes

0:07 Chapter One Anglo-Saxon

0:0 Or !"hate#er happene$ to the %utes&!
0:'' The English language (egins )ith the phrase !*p +ours Caesar,!
0:'- as the .o/ans lea#e 0ritain
0:'1 an$ a lot of 2er/ani3 tri(es start floo$ing in4
0:'7 tri(es su3h as the Angles an$ the Saxons
0:' )ho together ga#e us the ter/ Anglo-Saxon4
0:50 an$ the %utes -- )ho $i$n6t7
0:55 The .o/ans left so/e #ery straight roa$s (ehin$4
0:51 (ut not /u3h of their 8atin language7
0:59 The Anglo-Saxon #o3a( )as /u3h /ore useful
0:5: as it )as /ainly )or$s for si/ple e#ery$ay things
0:-5 li;e 6house64 6)o/an64 6loaf6 an$ 6)ere)olf67
0:-1 <our of our $ays of the )ee;
0:-9 )ere na/e$ in honour of Anglo-Saxon go$s
0:- (ut they $i$n6t (other )ith Satur$ay4 Sun$ay an$ Mon$ay
0:40 as they ha$ all gone off for a long )ee;en$7
0:45 "hile they )ere a)ay4
0:4- Christian /issionaries stole in
0:41 (ringing )ith the/ leaflets
0:49 a(out =u/(le sales an$ /ore 8atin7
0:4 Christianity )as a hit )ith the lo3als
0:10 an$ /a$e the/ /u3h happier
0:1' to ta;e on fun;y ne) )or$s fro/ latin
0:1- li;e 6/artyr64 6(ishop6 an$ 6font67
0:11 Along 3a/e the >i;ings4
0:17 )ith their a3tion-/an )or$s
0:1 li;e 6$rag64 6ransa3;64 6thrust6 an$ 6$ie64
':0' They /ay ha#e rape$ an$ pillage$
':0- (ut there )ere also into 6gi#e6 an$ 6ta;e6
':01 t)o of aroun$ 5000 )or$s that they ga#e English4
':07 as )ell as the phrase
':0 6)at3h out for that /an )ith the enor/ous axe76
':'' Chapter T)o The ?or/an Con@uest
':'- Or !Ex3use /y English!
':'9 True to his na/e4
':'7 "illia/ the Con@ueror in#a$es Englan$4
':': (ringing ne) 3on3epts fro/ a3ross the 3hannel
':5' li;e the <ren3h language4
':55 the Ao/es$ay (oo;
':5- an$ the $uty free 2alois6s /ultipa3;7
':51 <ren3h )as $e rigeur for all offi3ial (usiness4
':57 )ith )or$s li;e 6=u$ge64 6=ury64 6e#i$en3e6 an$ 6=usti3e6
':-0 3o/ing in an$ gi#ing %ohn 2risha/6s 3areer a ;i3;-start7
':-- 8atin )as still use$ a$ nausea/ in Chur3h4
':-1 (ut the 3o//on /an spo;e English
':-7 a(le to 3o//uni3ate only (y spea;ing
':-: /ore slo)ly an$ lou$ly
':40 until the others un$erstoo$ hi/7
':4' "or$s li;e 63o)64 6sheep6 an$ 6s)ine6
':4- 3o/e fro/ the English-spea;ing far/ers4
':41 )hile the a la 3arte #ersions
':47- 6(eef64 6/utton6 an$ 6por;6 -
':4 3o/e fro/ the <ren3h-spea;ing toffs
':10-- (eginning a long running tren$ for restaurants
':15 ha#ing 3o/pletely in$e3iphera(le /enus7
':14 All in all the English a(sor(e$
':11 a(out ten thousan$ ne) )or$s for/ the ?or/ans
':1 though they still 3oul$n6t grasp the notion of 3hee; ;issing7
5:00 The (onho/ie all en$e$
5:0' )hen the English nation
5:05 too; their ne) )arli;e lingo of 6ar/ies64 6na#ies6 an$ 6sol$iers6
5:09 an$ (egan the Hun$re$ +ears "ar against <ran3e7
5:0: It a3tually laste$ ''9 years
5:'0 (ut (y that point no one 3oul$ 3ount any higher in <ren3h
5:'- an$ English too; o#er as the language of po)er
5:'1 Chapter - Sha;espeare
5:': As the $i3tionary tells us a(out 5000 ne) )or$s an$ phrases
5:55 )ere in#ente$ (y "illia/ Sha;espeare
5:54 He ga#e us han$y )or$s li;e 6eye(all64 6puppy$og6 an$ 6an3ho#y6
5:57 an$ /ore sho)offy )or$s li;e 6$auntless64 6(es/ir3h6 an$ 6la3;lustre6
5:-' He 3a/e up )ith the )or$ 6alligator6
5:-- soon after he ran off of things to ri/e )ith 3ro3o$ile
5:-1 An$ a nation of tea $rin;ers finally too; hi/ to their hearts
5:- )hen he in#ente$ the 6ho(no(6
5:40 Sha;espeare ;ne) the po)er of 3at3h phrases as )ell as (is3uits
5:4- "ithout hi/ )e6$ ne#er hear$ our flesh an$ (loo$ out of house an$ ho/e
5:47 )e6$ ha#e to say goo$ ri$$an3e to the green eye$ /onster
5:10 an$ (rea;ing the i3e )oul$ (e as $ea$ as a $oornail
5:15 If you trie$ to get your /oney6s )orth you6$ (e gi#en short shrift
5:11 an$ anyone )ho lai$ it on )ith a tro)el
5:19 3oul$ (e hoist )ith his o)n petar$
5:1 of 3ourse4 it6s possi(le other people use$ these )or$s first
-:0' (ut the $i3tionary )riters li;e$ loo;ing the/ up in Sha;espeare4
-:04 (e3ause there )as /ore 3ross$ressing
-:09 an$ people po;ing ea3h other6s eyes out7
-:07 Sha;espeare6s poetry sho)e$ the )orl$ that English )as a
-:'0 ri3h4 #i(rant language
-:'' )ith li/itless expressi#e an$ e/otional po)er
-:'4 an$ he still ha$ ti/e to open all those tea roo/s in Stratfor$7
-:'7 Chapter four The Bing %a/es 0i(le
-:': Or !8et there (e light rea$ing!
-:5' In '9'' !the po)ers that (e!
-:5- !turne$ the )orl$ upsi$e $o)n!
-:51 )ith a !la(our of lo#e!
-:59 a ne) translation of the (i(le7
-:5 A tea/ of s3ri(es
-:5: )ith the !)is$o/ of Solo/on!
-:-0 !)ent the extra /ile!
-:-' to /a;e Bing %a/es6s translation
-:-- !all things to all /en!4
-:-4 )hether fro/ their 6heart6s $esire6
-:-9 6to fight the goo$ fight6
-:-7 or =ust for the 6filthy lu3re67
-:-: This sexy ne) 0i(le )ent
-:40 !fro/ strength to strength!
-:45 getting to 6the root of the /atter6
-:4- in a language e#en !the salt of the earth!
-:41 3oul$ un$erstan$7
-:49 !The )riting )asn6t on the )all!4
-:47 it )as in han$y little (oo;s
-:4: an$ )ith !fire an$ (ri/stone! prea3hers
-:10 rea$ing fro/ it in e#ery 3hur3h4
-:15 its )or$s an$ phrases 6too; root6
-:14 6to the en$s of the earth6
-:11 )ell at least the en$s of 0ritain7
-:19 The Bing %a/es 0i(le is the (oo; that taught us that
-:1: !a leopar$ 3an6t 3hange its spots!4
4:0' that !a (ir$ in the han$ is )orth t)o in the (ush!4
4:0- that 6a )olf in sheep6s 3lothing6
4:01 is har$er to spot than you )oul$ i/agine
4:07 an$ ho) annoying it is to ha#e
4:0 6a fly in your oint/ent67
4:'0 In fa3t4 =ust as !%onathan (egat Meri((aalC
4:'5 an$ Meri((aal (egat Mi3ah!4
4:'- the Bing %a/es 0i(le (egat a )hole glossary
4:'1 of /etaphor an$ /orality
4:'7 that still shapes the )ay English is spo;en to$ay7
4:5' A/en7
4:55 Chapter > The English of S3ien3e
4:54 or ho) to spea; )ith gra#ity
4:59 0efore the '7th 3entury4 s3ientists )eren6t really re3ogniDe$
4:5: possi(ly (e3ause la(3oats ha$ yet to 3at3h on7
4:-' 0ut su$$enly 0ritain )as full of physi3ists: there )as .7 Hoo;e
4:-4 .7 0oyle an$ e#en so/e people not 3alle$ .o(ert4 li;e Isaa3 ?e)ton7
4:- The royal so3iety )as for/e$ out of the in#isi(le 3ollege
4:4' after they put it $o)n so/e)here an$ 3oul$n6t fin$ it again7
4:44 At first they )or;e$ in 8atin7 After sitting through
4:49 ?e)ton6s story a(out the 6po/u/6 falling to the 6Terra6
4:4: fro/ the 6ar(or6 for the u/pteenth ti/e4 the (right spar;s realiDe$
4:15 they all spo;e English an$ they 3oul$ transfor/ our un$erstan$ing
4:11 of the *ni#erse /u3h @ui3;er (y tal;ing in their o)n language7
4:1 0ut S3ien3e )as $is3o#ering things faster than they 3oul$ na/e the/:
1:0' )or$s li;e 6a3i$64 6gra#ity64 6ele3tri3ity6 an$ 6pen$ulu/6 ha$ to
1:01 (e in#ente$ =ust to stop their /eetings turning into an
1:07 en$less ga/e of 3hara$es7
1:0: 8i;e teenage (oys4 the s3ientists su$$enly (e3a/e a)are of the hu/an (o$y
1:'- 3onying ne) )or$s li;e 63ar$ia364 6tonsil64 6o#ary an$ 6sternu/6
1:' an$ the in#ention of 6penis6 an$ 6#agina6 /a$e sex e$u3ation 3lasses
1:5' a (it easier to follo)4 though 6Clitoris6 )as still a sour3e of 3onfusion
1:59 Chapeter >I English an$ E/pire
1:5: Or !The sun ne#er sets on the English 8anguage!
1:-5 "ith English /a;ing its na/e as the language of s3ien3e4
1:-4 the 0i(le an$ Sha;espeare4
1:-9 0ritain $e3i$e$ to ta;e it on tour7
1:- As;ing only for lan$4 )ealth4
1:40 natural resour3es4 total o(e$ien3e to the 3ro)n
1:45 an$ a fe) lo3al )or$s in return7
1:44 They )ent to the Cari((ean loo;ing for gol$
1:49 an$ a 3han3e to really un)in$
1:4 $is3o#ering the !(ar(e@ue!4 the !3anoe!
1:4: an$ a pretty goo$ re3ipe for ru/ pun3h7
1:1' They also (rought (a3;
1:15 the )or$ 63anni(al6
1:1- to /a;e their trip soun$ /ore ex3iting7
1:14 In In$ia there )as so/ething for e#eryone7
1:19 6+oga6 -- to help you stay in shape4
1:1 )hile preten$ing to (e spiritual7
1:1: If that $i$n6t )or;
9:00 there )as the !3u//er(un$!
9:0' to hi$e a paun3h
9:05 an$4 if you 3oul$n6t e#en /a;e it up the stairs
9:04 )ithout turning !3ri/son!
9:01 they ha$ the !(ungalo)!7
9:09 Mean)hile in Afri3a they pi3;e$ up )or$s li;e 6#oo$oo6 an$ 6Do/(ie6
9:0: ;i3;ing off the teen horror fil/
9:'' <ro/ Australia4
9:'5 English too; the )or$s 6nugget64 6(oo/erang6 an$ 6)al;a(out6
9:'1 an$ in fa3t the )hole 3on3ept of 3hain pu(s7
9:' All in all (et)een toppling ?apoleon an$ the first "orl$ "ar4
9:5' the 0ritish E/pire go((le$ up aroun$ '0 /illions s@uare /iles4
9:54 400 /illion people an$ nearly a hun$re$ thousan$ gin an$ toni3s4
9:5 lea#ing ne) #arieties of English to $e#elop all o#er the glo(e7
9:-4 Chapter >II The age of the $i3tionary
9:-9 or the $efinition of a hopeless tas;7
9:-: "ith English expan$ing in all $ire3tions4 along 3a/e a ne)
9:45 (ree$ of /en 3alle$ lexi3ographies
9:44 )ho )ante$ to put an en$ to this anar3hy4 a )or$ they $efine$
9:47 as )hat happens )hen people spell )or$s slightly $ifferently
9:4: fro/ ea3h other7
9:1' One of the greatest )as $r7 %ohnson )hose $i3tionary
9:1- of the English 8anguage too; hi/ nine years to )rite7
9:19 He )as '! tall an$ 3ontaine$ 4577- entries /eaning that e#en
7:0' if you 3oul$n6t rea$4 it )as still pretty useful if you )ante$ to
7:0- rea3h an high shelf7
7:01 <or the first ti/e )hen people )ere 3alling you a
7:07 6pi3;leherring64 a 6=o((erno)l6 or a 6fop$oo$le64 you 3oul$
7:'0 un$erstan$ exa3tly )hat they /eant an$ you6$ ha#e the
7:'5 3onsolation of ;no)ing they all use$ the stan$ar$ spelling
7:'1 Try as he /ight to stop the/4 )or$s ;ept (eing in#ente$
7:' an$ in '17 a ne) (oo; )as starte$
7:50 that )oul$ (e3o/e the Oxfor$ English Ai3tionary7
7:55 It too; another 70 years to (e finishe$
7:54 after the first e$itor resigne$ to (e an Ar3h(ishop4
7:59 the se3on$ $ie$ of T0
7:57 an$ the thir$ )as so (oring that half his #olunteers @uit
7:-0 an$ one of the en$e$ up in an Asylu/7
7:-5 It e#entually appeare$ in ':5 an$ has 3ontinue$ to (e re#ise$ e#er sin3e
7:-1 pro#ing the )hole i$ea that you 3an stop people /a;ing up )or$s is 3o/plete
snuff(u/(le
7:4' Chapter >III A/eri3an English
7:4- Or !?ot English (ut So/e)here in the (allpar;!
7:49 <ro/ the /o/ent 0rits lan$e$ in A/eri3a they nee$e$ na/es for all the plants an$
ani/als
7:1' so they (orro)e$ )or$s li;e 6ra33oon64 6s@uash6 an$ 6/oose6 fro/ the ?ati#e A/eri3ans4
7:11 as )ell as /ost of their territory7
7:19 "a#es of i//igrants fe$ A/eri3a6s hunger for )or$s7
7:1: The Aut3h 3a/e sharing 63olesla)6 an$ 63oo;ies6
:0' pro(a(ly as a result of their relaxe$ attitu$e to $rugs7
:04 8ater4 the 2er/ans arri#e$ selling 6pretDels6 fro/ 6$eli3atessens6
:07 an$ the Italians arri#e$ )ith their 6piDDa64 their 6pasta6 an$ their 6/afia64
:'' =ust li;e /a//a use$ to /a;e7
:'5 A/eri3a sprea$ a ne) language of 3apitalis/
:'1 getting e#eryone )orrie$ a(out the 6(rea;e#en6 an$ 6the (otto/ line64
:' an$ )hether they )ere 6(lue 3hip6 or 6)hite 3ollar67
:50 The 3o//uter nee$e$ a )hole ne) syste/ of 6free)ays64 6su()ays6 an$ 6par;ing lots6
:5- an$ @ui3;ly4 (efore )or$s li;e 6/erger6 an$ 6$o)nsiDing6 3oul$ (e in#ente$7
:57 A/eri3an English $rifte$ (a3; a3ross the pon$
:-0 as 0rits 6got the hang of6 their 63ool /o#ies64 an$ their 6groo#y6 6=aDD67
:-4 There )ere e#en so/e ol$ forgotten English )or$s that li#e$ on in A/eri3a7
:-7 So they 3arrie$ on using 6fall64 6fau3ets64 6$iapers6 an$ 63an$y64
:4' )hile the 0rits /o#e$ on to 6autu/n64 6taps64 6nappies6 an$ ?HS $ental 3are7
:47 Chapter IE Internet English
:4 Or !8anguage re#erts to type!
:1' In ':75 the first e/ail )as sent7
:14 Soon the Internet arri#e$4 a free glo(al spa3e to share infor/ation4 i$eas
:1 an$ a/using pi3tures of 3ats7
::00 0efore then English 3hange$ through people spea;ing it
::05 (ut the net (rought typing (a3; into fashion
::04 an$ hun$re$s of 3ases of repetiti#e strain in=uries7
::07 ?o(o$y ha$ e#er ha$ to 6$o)nloa$6 anything (efore4 let alone use a 6tool(ar6
::'' An$ the only ti/e so/eone set up a 6fire)all64
::'- it en$e$ )ith a /assi#e insuran3e 3lai/ an$ a huge pile of 3harre$ )allpaper7
::'7 Con#ersations )ere getting shorter than the a#erage attention span
::50 )hy (other )riting a senten3e )hen an a((re#iation )oul$ $o
::5- an$ lea#e you /ore ti/e to 6(log64 6po;e6 an$ 6re(oot6 )hen your 6har$ $ri#e6 3rashe$&
::5 6In /y hu/(le opinion6 (e3a/e IMHO4 6(y the )ay6 (e3a/e 0T"
::-- an$ 6if )e6re honest that life-threatening a33i$ent )as pretty hilarious,6 si/ply (e3a/e
6fail67
::- So/e 3hanges e#en passe$ into spo;en English7
::40 <or your infor/ation people fre@uently as;e$ @uestions li;e
::4- !ho) 3an 68O86 /ean 6laugh out lou$6 an$ 6lots of lo#e6&
::47 0ut if you6re going to 3o/plain a(out that then *250B7
::1' Chapter E 2lo(al English
::1- Or !"hose language is it any)ay&!
::19 In the '100 years sin3e the .o/an6s left 0ritain4
::1 English has sho)n an uni@ue a(ility to a(sor(4 e#ol#e4 in#a$e
'0:0' an$4 if )e6re honest4 steal7
'0:0- After foreign settlers got it starte$4 it gre) into a fully-fle$ge$ language all of its o)n4
'0:07 (efore lea#ing ho/e an$ tra#elling the )orl$4 first #ia the high seas4
'0:'' then #ia the high spee$ (roa$(an$ 3onne3tion4 pilfering )or$s fro/ o#er -10
languages
'0:'9 an$ esta(lishing itself as a glo(al institution7
'0:' All this $espite a )ritten alpha(et that (ears no 3orrelation to ho) it soun$s
'0:5- an$ a syste/ of spelling that e#en Aan 0ro)n 3oul$n6t $e3ipher7
'0:59 .ight no) aroun$ '71 (illion people spea; English7
'0:5: Of these a(out a @uarter are nati#e spea;ers4 a @uarter spea; it as their se3on$
language4
'0:-4 an$ half are a(le to as; for $ire3tions to a s)i//ing pool7
'0:-9 There6s Hinglish )hi3h is Hin$i-English4
'0:-: Chinglish )hi3h is Chinese-English
'0:4' an$ Singlish )hi3h is Singaporean English
'0:4- an$ not that (it )hen they spea; in /usi3als7
'0:41 So in 3on3lusion4
'0:49 the language has got so little to $o )ith Englan$ these $ays
'0:4: it /ay )ell (e ti/e to stop 3alling it 6English67
'0:1' 0ut if so/eone $oes thin; up a ne) na/e for it4 it shoul$ pro(a(ly (e in Chinese7
'
00:00:04--F 00:00:07
The History of English In Ten Minutes
5
00:00:07--F 00:00:0
Chapter One Anglo-Saxon
-
00:00:0--F 00:00:''
Or !"hate#er happene$ to the %utes&!
4
00:00:''--F 00:00:'-
The English language (egins )ith the phrase !*p +ours Caesar,!
1
00:00:'---F 00:00:'1
as the .o/ans lea#e 0ritain
1
00:00:'1--F 00:00:'7
an$ a lot of 2er/ani3 tri(es start floo$ing in4
9
00:00:'7--F 00:00:'
0:'7 tri(es su3h as the Angles an$ the Saxons
7
00:00:'--F 00:00:50
)ho together ga#e us the ter/ Anglo-Saxon4

00:00:50--F 00:00:55
0:50 an$ the %utes -- )ho $i$n6t7
:
00:00:55--F 00:00:51
0:55 The .o/ans left so/e #ery straight roa$s (ehin$4
'0
0:51 (ut not /u3h of their 8atin language7
0:59 The Anglo-Saxon #o3a( )as /u3h /ore useful
0:5: as it )as /ainly )or$s for si/ple e#ery$ay things
0:-5 li;e 6house64 6)o/an64 6loaf6 an$ 6)ere)olf67
0:-1 <our of our $ays of the )ee;
0:-9 )ere na/e$ in honour of Anglo-Saxon go$s
0:- (ut they $i$n6t (other )ith Satur$ay4 Sun$ay an$ Mon$ay
0:40 as they ha$ all gone off for a long )ee;en$7
0:45 "hile they )ere a)ay4
0:4- Christian /issionaries stole in
0:41 (ringing )ith the/ leaflets
0:49 a(out =u/(le sales an$ /ore 8atin7
0:4 Christianity )as a hit )ith the lo3als
0:10 an$ /a$e the/ /u3h happier
0:1' to ta;e on fun;y ne) )or$s fro/ latin
0:1- li;e 6/artyr64 6(ishop6 an$ 6font67
0:11 Along 3a/e the >i;ings4
0:17 )ith their a3tion-/an )or$s
0:1 li;e 6$rag64 6ransa3;64 6thrust6 an$ 6$ie64
':0' They /ay ha#e rape$ an$ pillage$
':0- (ut there )ere also into 6gi#e6 an$ 6ta;e6
':01 t)o of aroun$ 5000 )or$s that they ga#e English4
':07 as )ell as the phrase
':0 6)at3h out for that /an )ith the enor/ous axe76
':'' Chapter T)o The ?or/an Con@uest
':'- Or !Ex3use /y English!
':'9 True to his na/e4
':'7 "illia/ the Con@ueror in#a$es Englan$4
':': (ringing ne) 3on3epts fro/ a3ross the 3hannel
':5' li;e the <ren3h language4
':55 the Ao/es$ay (oo;
':5- an$ the $uty free 2alois6s /ultipa3;7
':51 <ren3h )as $e rigeur for all offi3ial (usiness4
':57 )ith )or$s li;e 6=u$ge64 6=ury64 6e#i$en3e6 an$ 6=usti3e6
':-0 3o/ing in an$ gi#ing %ohn 2risha/6s 3areer a ;i3;-start7
':-- 8atin )as still use$ a$ nausea/ in Chur3h4
':-1 (ut the 3o//on /an spo;e English
':-7 a(le to 3o//uni3ate only (y spea;ing
':-: /ore slo)ly an$ lou$ly
':40 until the others un$erstoo$ hi/7
':4' "or$s li;e 63o)64 6sheep6 an$ 6s)ine6
':4- 3o/e fro/ the English-spea;ing far/ers4
':41 )hile the a la 3arte #ersions
':47- 6(eef64 6/utton6 an$ 6por;6 -
':4 3o/e fro/ the <ren3h-spea;ing toffs
':10-- (eginning a long running tren$ for restaurants
':15 ha#ing 3o/pletely in$e3iphera(le /enus7
':14 All in all the English a(sor(e$
':11 a(out ten thousan$ ne) )or$s for/ the ?or/ans
':1 though they still 3oul$n6t grasp the notion of 3hee; ;issing7
5:00 The (onho/ie all en$e$
5:0' )hen the English nation
5:05 too; their ne) )arli;e lingo of 6ar/ies64 6na#ies6 an$ 6sol$iers6
5:09 an$ (egan the Hun$re$ +ears "ar against <ran3e7
5:0: It a3tually laste$ ''9 years
5:'0 (ut (y that point no one 3oul$ 3ount any higher in <ren3h
5:'- an$ English too; o#er as the language of po)er
5:'1 Chapter - Sha;espeare
5:': As the $i3tionary tells us a(out 5000 ne) )or$s an$ phrases
5:55 )ere in#ente$ (y "illia/ Sha;espeare
5:54 He ga#e us han$y )or$s li;e 6eye(all64 6puppy$og6 an$ 6an3ho#y6
5:57 an$ /ore sho)offy )or$s li;e 6$auntless64 6(es/ir3h6 an$ 6la3;lustre6
5:-' He 3a/e up )ith the )or$ 6alligator6
5:-- soon after he ran off of things to ri/e )ith 3ro3o$ile
5:-1 An$ a nation of tea $rin;ers finally too; hi/ to their hearts
5:- )hen he in#ente$ the 6ho(no(6
5:40 Sha;espeare ;ne) the po)er of 3at3h phrases as )ell as (is3uits
5:4- "ithout hi/ )e6$ ne#er hear$ our flesh an$ (loo$ out of house an$ ho/e
5:47 )e6$ ha#e to say goo$ ri$$an3e to the green eye$ /onster
5:10 an$ (rea;ing the i3e )oul$ (e as $ea$ as a $oornail
5:15 If you trie$ to get your /oney6s )orth you6$ (e gi#en short shrift
5:11 an$ anyone )ho lai$ it on )ith a tro)el
5:19 3oul$ (e hoist )ith his o)n petar$
5:1 of 3ourse4 it6s possi(le other people use$ these )or$s first
-:0' (ut the $i3tionary )riters li;e$ loo;ing the/ up in Sha;espeare4
-:04 (e3ause there )as /ore 3ross$ressing
-:09 an$ people po;ing ea3h other6s eyes out7
-:07 Sha;espeare6s poetry sho)e$ the )orl$ that English )as a
-:'0 ri3h4 #i(rant language
-:'' )ith li/itless expressi#e an$ e/otional po)er
-:'4 an$ he still ha$ ti/e to open all those tea roo/s in Stratfor$7
-:'7 Chapter four The Bing %a/es 0i(le
-:': Or !8et there (e light rea$ing!
-:5' In '9'' !the po)ers that (e!
-:5- !turne$ the )orl$ upsi$e $o)n!
-:51 )ith a !la(our of lo#e!
-:59 a ne) translation of the (i(le7
-:5 A tea/ of s3ri(es
-:5: )ith the !)is$o/ of Solo/on!
-:-0 !)ent the extra /ile!
-:-' to /a;e Bing %a/es6s translation
-:-- !all things to all /en!4
-:-4 )hether fro/ their 6heart6s $esire6
-:-9 6to fight the goo$ fight6
-:-7 or =ust for the 6filthy lu3re67
-:-: This sexy ne) 0i(le )ent
-:40 !fro/ strength to strength!
-:45 getting to 6the root of the /atter6
-:4- in a language e#en !the salt of the earth!
-:41 3oul$ un$erstan$7
-:49 !The )riting )asn6t on the )all!4
-:47 it )as in han$y little (oo;s
-:4: an$ )ith !fire an$ (ri/stone! prea3hers
-:10 rea$ing fro/ it in e#ery 3hur3h4
-:15 its )or$s an$ phrases 6too; root6
-:14 6to the en$s of the earth6
-:11 )ell at least the en$s of 0ritain7
-:19 The Bing %a/es 0i(le is the (oo; that taught us that
-:1: !a leopar$ 3an6t 3hange its spots!4
4:0' that !a (ir$ in the han$ is )orth t)o in the (ush!4
4:0- that 6a )olf in sheep6s 3lothing6
4:01 is har$er to spot than you )oul$ i/agine
4:07 an$ ho) annoying it is to ha#e
4:0 6a fly in your oint/ent67
4:'0 In fa3t4 =ust as !%onathan (egat Meri((aalC
4:'5 an$ Meri((aal (egat Mi3ah!4
4:'- the Bing %a/es 0i(le (egat a )hole glossary
4:'1 of /etaphor an$ /orality
4:'7 that still shapes the )ay English is spo;en to$ay7
4:5' A/en7
4:55 Chapter > The English of S3ien3e
4:54 or ho) to spea; )ith gra#ity
4:59 0efore the '7th 3entury4 s3ientists )eren6t really re3ogniDe$
4:5: possi(ly (e3ause la(3oats ha$ yet to 3at3h on7
4:-' 0ut su$$enly 0ritain )as full of physi3ists: there )as .7 Hoo;e
4:-4 .7 0oyle an$ e#en so/e people not 3alle$ .o(ert4 li;e Isaa3 ?e)ton7
4:- The royal so3iety )as for/e$ out of the in#isi(le 3ollege
4:4' after they put it $o)n so/e)here an$ 3oul$n6t fin$ it again7
4:44 At first they )or;e$ in 8atin7 After sitting through
4:49 ?e)ton6s story a(out the 6po/u/6 falling to the 6Terra6
4:4: fro/ the 6ar(or6 for the u/pteenth ti/e4 the (right spar;s realiDe$
4:15 they all spo;e English an$ they 3oul$ transfor/ our un$erstan$ing
4:11 of the *ni#erse /u3h @ui3;er (y tal;ing in their o)n language7
4:1 0ut S3ien3e )as $is3o#ering things faster than they 3oul$ na/e the/:
1:0' )or$s li;e 6a3i$64 6gra#ity64 6ele3tri3ity6 an$ 6pen$ulu/6 ha$ to
1:01 (e in#ente$ =ust to stop their /eetings turning into an
1:07 en$less ga/e of 3hara$es7
1:0: 8i;e teenage (oys4 the s3ientists su$$enly (e3a/e a)are of the hu/an (o$y
1:'- 3onying ne) )or$s li;e 63ar$ia364 6tonsil64 6o#ary an$ 6sternu/6
1:' an$ the in#ention of 6penis6 an$ 6#agina6 /a$e sex e$u3ation 3lasses
1:5' a (it easier to follo)4 though 6Clitoris6 )as still a sour3e of 3onfusion
1:59 Chapeter >I English an$ E/pire
1:5: Or !The sun ne#er sets on the English 8anguage!
1:-5 "ith English /a;ing its na/e as the language of s3ien3e4
1:-4 the 0i(le an$ Sha;espeare4
1:-9 0ritain $e3i$e$ to ta;e it on tour7
1:- As;ing only for lan$4 )ealth4
1:40 natural resour3es4 total o(e$ien3e to the 3ro)n
1:45 an$ a fe) lo3al )or$s in return7
1:44 They )ent to the Cari((ean loo;ing for gol$
1:49 an$ a 3han3e to really un)in$
1:4 $is3o#ering the !(ar(e@ue!4 the !3anoe!
1:4: an$ a pretty goo$ re3ipe for ru/ pun3h7
1:1' They also (rought (a3;
1:15 the )or$ 63anni(al6
1:1- to /a;e their trip soun$ /ore ex3iting7
1:14 In In$ia there )as so/ething for e#eryone7
1:19 6+oga6 -- to help you stay in shape4
1:1 )hile preten$ing to (e spiritual7
1:1: If that $i$n6t )or;
9:00 there )as the !3u//er(un$!
9:0' to hi$e a paun3h
9:05 an$4 if you 3oul$n6t e#en /a;e it up the stairs
9:04 )ithout turning !3ri/son!
9:01 they ha$ the !(ungalo)!7
9:09 Mean)hile in Afri3a they pi3;e$ up )or$s li;e 6#oo$oo6 an$ 6Do/(ie6
9:0: ;i3;ing off the teen horror fil/
9:'' <ro/ Australia4
9:'5 English too; the )or$s 6nugget64 6(oo/erang6 an$ 6)al;a(out6
9:'1 an$ in fa3t the )hole 3on3ept of 3hain pu(s7
9:' All in all (et)een toppling ?apoleon an$ the first "orl$ "ar4
9:5' the 0ritish E/pire go((le$ up aroun$ '0 /illions s@uare /iles4
9:54 400 /illion people an$ nearly a hun$re$ thousan$ gin an$ toni3s4
9:5 lea#ing ne) #arieties of English to $e#elop all o#er the glo(e7
9:-4 Chapter >II The age of the $i3tionary
9:-9 or the $efinition of a hopeless tas;7
9:-: "ith English expan$ing in all $ire3tions4 along 3a/e a ne)
9:45 (ree$ of /en 3alle$ lexi3ographies
9:44 )ho )ante$ to put an en$ to this anar3hy4 a )or$ they $efine$
9:47 as )hat happens )hen people spell )or$s slightly $ifferently
9:4: fro/ ea3h other7
9:1' One of the greatest )as $r7 %ohnson )hose $i3tionary
9:1- of the English 8anguage too; hi/ nine years to )rite7
9:19 He )as '! tall an$ 3ontaine$ 4577- entries /eaning that e#en
7:0' if you 3oul$n6t rea$4 it )as still pretty useful if you )ante$ to
7:0- rea3h an high shelf7
7:01 <or the first ti/e )hen people )ere 3alling you a
7:07 6pi3;leherring64 a 6=o((erno)l6 or a 6fop$oo$le64 you 3oul$
7:'0 un$erstan$ exa3tly )hat they /eant an$ you6$ ha#e the
7:'5 3onsolation of ;no)ing they all use$ the stan$ar$ spelling
7:'1 Try as he /ight to stop the/4 )or$s ;ept (eing in#ente$
7:' an$ in '17 a ne) (oo; )as starte$
7:50 that )oul$ (e3o/e the Oxfor$ English Ai3tionary7
7:55 It too; another 70 years to (e finishe$
7:54 after the first e$itor resigne$ to (e an Ar3h(ishop4
7:59 the se3on$ $ie$ of T0
7:57 an$ the thir$ )as so (oring that half his #olunteers @uit
7:-0 an$ one of the en$e$ up in an Asylu/7
7:-5 It e#entually appeare$ in ':5 an$ has 3ontinue$ to (e re#ise$ e#er sin3e
7:-1 pro#ing the )hole i$ea that you 3an stop people /a;ing up )or$s is 3o/plete
snuff(u/(le
7:4' Chapter >III A/eri3an English
7:4- Or !?ot English (ut So/e)here in the (allpar;!
7:49 <ro/ the /o/ent 0rits lan$e$ in A/eri3a they nee$e$ na/es for all the plants an$
ani/als
7:1' so they (orro)e$ )or$s li;e 6ra33oon64 6s@uash6 an$ 6/oose6 fro/ the ?ati#e A/eri3ans4
7:11 as )ell as /ost of their territory7
7:19 "a#es of i//igrants fe$ A/eri3a6s hunger for )or$s7
7:1: The Aut3h 3a/e sharing 63olesla)6 an$ 63oo;ies6
:0' pro(a(ly as a result of their relaxe$ attitu$e to $rugs7
:04 8ater4 the 2er/ans arri#e$ selling 6pretDels6 fro/ 6$eli3atessens6
:07 an$ the Italians arri#e$ )ith their 6piDDa64 their 6pasta6 an$ their 6/afia64
:'' =ust li;e /a//a use$ to /a;e7
:'5 A/eri3a sprea$ a ne) language of 3apitalis/
:'1 getting e#eryone )orrie$ a(out the 6(rea;e#en6 an$ 6the (otto/ line64
:' an$ )hether they )ere 6(lue 3hip6 or 6)hite 3ollar67
:50 The 3o//uter nee$e$ a )hole ne) syste/ of 6free)ays64 6su()ays6 an$ 6par;ing lots6
:5- an$ @ui3;ly4 (efore )or$s li;e 6/erger6 an$ 6$o)nsiDing6 3oul$ (e in#ente$7
:57 A/eri3an English $rifte$ (a3; a3ross the pon$
:-0 as 0rits 6got the hang of6 their 63ool /o#ies64 an$ their 6groo#y6 6=aDD67
:-4 There )ere e#en so/e ol$ forgotten English )or$s that li#e$ on in A/eri3a7
:-7 So they 3arrie$ on using 6fall64 6fau3ets64 6$iapers6 an$ 63an$y64
:4' )hile the 0rits /o#e$ on to 6autu/n64 6taps64 6nappies6 an$ ?HS $ental 3are7
:47 Chapter IE Internet English
:4 Or !8anguage re#erts to type!
:1' In ':75 the first e/ail )as sent7
:14 Soon the Internet arri#e$4 a free glo(al spa3e to share infor/ation4 i$eas
:1 an$ a/using pi3tures of 3ats7
::00 0efore then English 3hange$ through people spea;ing it
::05 (ut the net (rought typing (a3; into fashion
::04 an$ hun$re$s of 3ases of repetiti#e strain in=uries7
::07 ?o(o$y ha$ e#er ha$ to 6$o)nloa$6 anything (efore4 let alone use a 6tool(ar6
::'' An$ the only ti/e so/eone set up a 6fire)all64
::'- it en$e$ )ith a /assi#e insuran3e 3lai/ an$ a huge pile of 3harre$ )allpaper7
::'7 Con#ersations )ere getting shorter than the a#erage attention span
::50 )hy (other )riting a senten3e )hen an a((re#iation )oul$ $o
::5- an$ lea#e you /ore ti/e to 6(log64 6po;e6 an$ 6re(oot6 )hen your 6har$ $ri#e6 3rashe$&
::5 6In /y hu/(le opinion6 (e3a/e IMHO4 6(y the )ay6 (e3a/e 0T"
::-- an$ 6if )e6re honest that life-threatening a33i$ent )as pretty hilarious,6 si/ply (e3a/e
6fail67
::- So/e 3hanges e#en passe$ into spo;en English7
::40 <or your infor/ation people fre@uently as;e$ @uestions li;e
::4- !ho) 3an 68O86 /ean 6laugh out lou$6 an$ 6lots of lo#e6&
::47 0ut if you6re going to 3o/plain a(out that then *250B7
::1' Chapter E 2lo(al English
::1- Or !"hose language is it any)ay&!
::19 In the '100 years sin3e the .o/an6s left 0ritain4
::1 English has sho)n an uni@ue a(ility to a(sor(4 e#ol#e4 in#a$e
'0:0' an$4 if )e6re honest4 steal7
'0:0- After foreign settlers got it starte$4 it gre) into a fully-fle$ge$ language all of its o)n4
'0:07 (efore lea#ing ho/e an$ tra#elling the )orl$4 first #ia the high seas4
'0:'' then #ia the high spee$ (roa$(an$ 3onne3tion4 pilfering )or$s fro/ o#er -10
languages
'0:'9 an$ esta(lishing itself as a glo(al institution7
'0:' All this $espite a )ritten alpha(et that (ears no 3orrelation to ho) it soun$s
'0:5- an$ a syste/ of spelling that e#en Aan 0ro)n 3oul$n6t $e3ipher7
'0:59 .ight no) aroun$ '71 (illion people spea; English7
'0:5: Of these a(out a @uarter are nati#e spea;ers4 a @uarter spea; it as their se3on$
language4
'0:-4 an$ half are a(le to as; for $ire3tions to a s)i//ing pool7
'0:-9 There6s Hinglish )hi3h is Hin$i-English4
'0:-: Chinglish )hi3h is Chinese-English
'0:4' an$ Singlish )hi3h is Singaporean English
'0:4- an$ not that (it )hen they spea; in /usi3als7
'0:41 So in 3on3lusion4
'0:49 the language has got so little to $o )ith Englan$ these $ays
'0:4: it /ay )ell (e ti/e to stop 3alling it 6English67
'0:1' 0ut if so/eone $oes thin; up a ne) na/e for it4 it shoul$ pro(a(ly (e in Chinese7