Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina

711 it is! I pressed send and placed my phone on my study table which was finally
free of the usual mountain of required class readings and my overcharged laptop. It
was 7:35pm and a Saturday night in June 2012. Thank God. Its a new semester and I
would be finally seeing them after the break of trying to move on and getting over it. I
tied my hair, put my earrings on, and checked my face on the bathroom mirror. Pweds
na, I thought. I took my phone, placed it in my usual small, teal, leather sling bag. Then
my keys. Oh and then my wallet. I slipped on my usual gimmick sandals and headed
for the door, then the elevator. I think Im ready to see her, I thought. Its going to be fine.
Im meeting my friends who I missed and seeing her again isnt a big deal. Shes one of them
naman, I thought. Friends.
I think I was even excited. 711s just eight floors away from where I live and I
arrived first. I sat on one of their red, round, and steel-footed chairs as I waited for the
rest. Just a Feeling by Maroon 5 suddenly played in 711 and I recalled how I used to
wait for these songs inside this convenience store about a year and a half ago during
late-night conversations with her and wed even play a game about it.
***
My everyday was with her and that seemed to be everything to me. Among my small
circle of friends, she was my favorite. We got along pretty well. Wed exchange laughs,
talk about life, love, dreams, school, our families, sometimes crazy and trivial things.
Wed spend those nights in 711 and we didnt seem to run out of things to talk about.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
Uy, its just a feeling daw sabi ng Maroon 5! George said, Sige ganito. Lets
play a game, Liz. Lets ask a question and the radio will answer it for us. So whatever
song follows your question is the answer to your question.
Pano? Haha! I said.
Basta sige, ask a question.
Sino ang magiging someone special ko? I said.
O sige, lets wait for the next song.
Kailan by Smokey Mountain played on the radio. That song as an answer to my
question didnt seem to make sense, I thought. Then she looked me in the eye and
smiled. My breathing slowed down but my heart raced. My eyes were fixed on hers
and hers on mine. I guessed that there was one more thing wed been missing to talk
about then it hit me, and it hit us. We could happen.
***
I snapped back to 2012 and realized I was staring at that rack of Skittles. The radio was
already playing a new song when somebody tapped me on the shoulder.
Uy. I turned and saw George standing and holding a Caramel Cornetto, with a
half-smile on her lips. Somehow her eyes smiled more than her lips did. Ah that
George. I miss that George who smiled for and because of me. She might be happier
now, I thought. Is there someone new? She still wore that necklace with a cross pendant
as well. Shes a devout Catholic and her mom gave that to her. Most would still regard
us as sisters because we looked alike. She was just an inch taller, had brown and wavy
hair and I had rounder cheeks. She sat next to me and asked,
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
San na yung tatlo? I thought 7:30?
Ewan, baka nag-date na sina Ann and Patch. Alam mo naman yun. Tas third
wheel na naman si Tope. I said.
We laughed. That was casual. See Liz. Its fine, I thought. The glass door swung
open, making the noises from the passing cars along Katipunan and the chitchat of
some people in front of 711, audible.
Sorry, late said Ann. She let out a giggle then embraced me and George. I
missed you guys! Sorry talaga, si Patch kasi ang tagal.
Sorry na said Patch in his ever-apologetic voice, but then he childishly pointed
at Tope, To kasi eh! They walked towards us, laughing. Patch took Anns hand then
kissed her on the cheek. She looked him in the eye, and let out a smile. Theyd been
together for two years. How I wish I had one of my own. Well I used to. Bagay na bagay
pa sila, I thought. Patch was the combination of that boy-next-door and the responsible
son while Ann was that bubbly fashionista who always made it to the honors list.
Ako na naman. Haha! Tope said, O tara na? Di ba 9:45 yung movie? Dinner
pa tayo! As usual, Tope sounded so ecstatic. The barkada clown indeed.
We stepped out of 711, walked along Katipunan Mile Hi, where the barkada
usually drank Saturday nights or after hell weeks, then Sweet Inspiration, home to my
favorite red velvet cake, manholes, uneven pavements, more uneven pavements, then
Serenitea, Yellowcab, BPI, Chicken Charlie, Dairy Queen, Pizza Hut, Chicken Bacolod,
and then finally, the Old Spaghetti House.
Group meal na, game? I said. Everybody nodded in approval.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
Bottomless iced na rin! Tope added.
Kuya, pitcher of water please! said George, who giggled with the rest like
tomorrows never going to come. And she never looked my way, but I smiled at her,
hoping shed see me and smile back like before. Her eyes were still some maze Id lose
myself in, the way shed laugh, and that scar just right above her left eyebrow was still a
beauty. Was it this easy for her to move on, I thought. Maybe I was just being too
sensitive? Or maybe she was being insensitive? I dont know. I looked down and stared
at a very familiar placemat which had a sketch of a plate full of spaghetti and had some
space for doodling. I recalled one of the most memorable birthdays I had.
***
I was sitting in that same couch less than a year ago, staring at the same placemat
with spaghetti sketches and Tope sat across me. He relentlessly talked about his day. I
was wondering why he kept on talking about himself and he hasnt greeted me a happy
birthday. He talked about not having moved on from his ex-girlfriend, Dana. Then
pressure from his dad. Family business. Graduation next year. Then everything else. He
went on and I was really getting annoyed. The door opened, making a very familiar
voice audible.
Isnt she lovely? Isnt she wonderful? Patch was singing with his guitar on.
Ann stood beside him and was holding a red velvet cake lit by nineteen candles. Behind
them stood George holding a box wrapped in light blue Japanese paper with a white
ribbon around it.
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Happy birthday, Liz! They said in chorus after singing along with Patch, not
minding the other customers present. Tope hugged me, wished me a boyfriend. Then
Ann gave me a bracelet she made. Patch said that his song number was his gift and
wished me good grades. George hugged me the tightest, whispered I love you, handed
me a tiny jade green box she got from her pocket and took my free hand as we sat. We
had dinner, shared wishes, and exchanged laughs. George took me home.
Hey, thanks love. I said, Alam ko ikaw may kagagawan nun. Haha We were
standing in front of my door.
Sure. Happy birthday again, and I love you. Please remember She said.
I love you too. I said. I took both of her hands and kissed her on the cheek.
How long are we keeping this, George? Weve been together for more than six months
and si Ann lang nakakaalam. How about Patch and Tope? The rest of the world? Ang
hirap ha.
Lets talk about that some other time, Liz. Arent you tired?
Why not tonight?
Please not tonight. Somethings up at home. Im sorry. Her phone beeped and
she took it from her pocket. Unknown number. She quickly puts it back and told me she
had to go.
Sorry babe. I think its mom. She said.
She gave me a long kiss on the forehead then I embraced her. I closed my eyes,
wishing my last for that day, that I just didnt want it to end.
***
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
That memory still seemed so fresh but it slowly faded as I heard Ann. I thought
Id been staring at that placemat for too long and George was still talking to the rest.
Uyyyy wait, instagram tayo guys! said Ann, who quickly took her iPhone out
of her bag.
Hahaha, ikaw talaga! Patch added. Kuya, pa-picture na rin ha!
I missed them and its been a great night, I thought. It can never be the same with
her though.
***
Oh kumusta ka na, Liz? Tope said, Bakit di kayo nagpapansinan ni George?
Magkagalit ata kayo. Hahaha I saw Ann slap Topes arm and she looked at me, her
face asking me whether I was still okay or not.
Ah okay lang naman ako. Busy buong summer. I said as I fiddled with the San
Mig light label on my third bottle that night. Mahaba-haba pa yung gabi, I thought. Di
kaya kami magkagalit ni George. Haha. Ano ba.
Oo naman. Were good. Diba, Liz? George said. She even put her arm around
my shoulder for one moment.
Cheers to the summer that has been! Ann said.
Cheeeeeers!
Mabuti pa, lets play a game na lang. Ann added. Spin the bottle! Truth or
dare!
Classic, love, ha! Patch said. He was on his second bottle of Red Horse.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
We were at Mile Hi, our hang-out place on chill (and even on not-so-chill) nights.
It gave out the ambience of an American diner with its hefty burgers, the bacon and
cheese fries (which was our favorite), the spacious red booths, and a mural of two
women in white spaghetti straps and denim pants, looking straight into each others
eyes, and chatting in front of a black 1959 Ford Thunderbird which covered the entire
wall of the diner from our view. Ah, it felt like it was the first time all over again.
First time? I thought. George and I laughed at that exactly 7 months back, when
she first took me to Mile Hi so we could try those bacon and cheese fries.
***
Di ko alam pero para talaga silang couple eh. George said. One actually looks
like you, and the other looks like me. George said.
Haha! Well, Id have to agree. This is our mural, George. Somebody must have
known wed end up together and he knew wed go here and talk about this. I said.
Oo nga. This really looks like us talking the whole night. Alam mo na,
hanggang mag-umaga. Except that we dont have a car.
***
Georges and my voice seemed to diffuse in my head and all I knew was that I
was still staring at that silly old mural. Oo nga pala, I thought. We were playing spin
the bottle.
Huy, kanina ka pang walang reaction! Ikaw na oh! George pouted towards the
bottle whose spout was pointing to my free hand resting on the table.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
O game, Ill ask! Ill ask! Tope said, after ordering another bucket of beer,
Alam mo, sobrang curious ko pa rin talaga. Naalala mo yung time na sinabi ko
sayong nakita kong kasama ni George si David last sem? Mga bandang February ata?
Yep, I remember. I said. Bakit niya tinanong yun, I thought. Ann was looking at
me, her face still asking me whether I was fine or not. I smiled to tell her I was fine.
George was suddenly silent. Too silent.
Why did you react that way? You liked David, no? Tope said.
Uy Tope. Ano ba yan. George said.
Ay nako, Tope. Youre drunk. I said.
But youre not answering the question, Liz! Patch said in a whim then he
snorted from laughing too hard. May tama na to, I thought.
Im not drunk, ano ba. This is just our second bucket, o!
Well for the record, I never liked David. Bad day lang ata yun Tope kaya I
reacted that way. I looked at George who was texting and I was hoping shed lift her
head to look my way. Reacted that way, I let out a sigh. That day in February was
indeed a bad day. No, it was a tormenting and frustrating day.
***
I remembered meeting up with Tope that day in Starbucks for a school project and he
blurted out,
Hoy si George, kasama si David the other night after your birthday! David from
French class?
Ah talaga? I said. Then it all made sense. What a mood turner. Oh tapos?
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
Wala, it just looked like they were having fun. Nilapitan ko lang si George to
say hello then I went.
I didnt finish my meeting with Tope and told him that Id been suffering from a
severe headache that day. I didnt wait for him to say goodbye and I stormed out of the
coffee shop.
***
Spin the bottles now the worst game ever. It was Georges turn to answer and
Tope asked again in delight.
Oh so bakit naman kayo magkasama ni David nun, George? He said.
Wala. Tope. Can we stop talking about that moment? George said. She looked
at me and mouth the word sorry. The night couldnt get worse and I didnt see this
coming. What happened to its going to be fine, I thought. Well, it isnt. Nothings been
fine.
We drank more. Revealed truths. Did dares. Topes turn. Then Ann. Then
George. Then Patch. Countless rounds. We called it a day after one shot of tequila each.
My phone said 3:34am.
Wake up, lovebirds! I remembered Tope tapping on Patch and Anns
shoulders and he said, Sige George, ako na bahala sa kanila. Trike lang to Xavierville.
Im still fine. Ikaw na dyan.
I remember George taking my hand when we stepped out of Mile Hi that night
and pressing 8 on our elevator.
Liz, keys?
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
I let go of her hand and quickly unzipped my usual sling bag. I carelessly
fumbled for anything that sounded and felt like my keys. We went inside and I kept
asking her to stay over for the night. I really wanted her to stay.
I cant, Liz. I have to go home. Patay na naman ako kay mom neto. Basta dont
drink too much na next time. George said. She embraced me lightly. I slightly pressed
my cheek on hers and then she pulled away.
I wont na. Promise. But can you stay, please? I said, tugging the sides of her
loose top with one hand and holding her lower back so I can pull her towards me. I felt
her giving in for a moment and thought that maybe I could still make her stay.
I really cant. I have to go. Bye, she said. She took my hand off her top and her
back, took a step towards the door and she closed it for me. I opened the door and
followed her outside. She was heading towards the elevator.
Was he better in loving you? I said. She stopped walking. Tell me now
George. I tried not to cry and she turned to walk towards me.
Youre so drunk Liz, come on. Balik ka na, please. She said. Lets just talk
some other time, when youre better.
Bakit other time na naman George? Why not now? Why do you always put me
off?
Please, dont do this to yourself, Liz. I care about you and were still friends.
Dont do this to yourself. We just all need time. I took mine. Take yours. That was
death all over again. Come on, balik ka na sa loob. I need to go and I cant leave you
like this.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
But you already did, George.
Magpahinga na tayo, Liz. Please.
She accompanied me back to my unit and then left. I buried myself in my sheets
and took it all out on sleep.
***
Mass at Gesu? I sent Patch, Ann, Tope, and George a message. It was a Sunday and I
missed attending mass at the Gesu inside Ateneo. I miss the entire place, the vast Bel
Field across, outlined by trees from which white and blue lights charmed their
spectators, the stone pavement that surrounded the majestic church which sat on a
hill, the highest point in the entire university, and Jesus statue on the front pavement
which was very much best viewed from the stone ledge. I sat there and faced Bel Field.
It was a little after 5 and Id be waiting for sunset.
***
I was waiting for her so I sat on the middle of that same stone ledge. It was late
February. She promised last time wed talk about us. Finally. I guess shed already told
her parents about us by now. Then we can tell the rest of our barkada. I guess today
would be a better day. A new one for us. I hope.
An hour passed and she still didnt come. Shes late again. All her messages for
the past two months were delayed. Our 711 nights slowly faded into oblivion. Shed tell
me shes too tired. Too busy. Too many reasons. Wed still go out, but not as often and it
would always be me on the waiting end. But Id keep waiting because there was
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nobody else that I wanted but her. And there was nobody else Id still love to say good
night to every single day.
Sorry Liz, late. George said, Somethings still up at home. Shes finally here, I
thought.
Whats up? I said and I took her hand, I think Im okay with not telling Patch
and Tope about us yet. No pressure. I smiled and then put my arm around her
shoulder.
No, its not that.
Then what is? Id never felt that afraid to ask and hear an answer.
Liz, she said in a shaky voice.
Yes? I was hoping it wasnt going to where Id been feeling it would.
Im sorry.
Why?
Liz, sorry She said. She let go of my hand. I cant do this anymore.
What are you talking about?
I dont know how to tell you. Please just do, I thought. Or not. I didnt exactly
know what I wanted, or maybe I did. I just didnt know if I should still do.
Theres someone else. I said, David, right?
Im sorry, Liz. She looked at me and it was all too different, I dont know. I
guess I just fell. He likes me a lot, hed tell me, And I thought George felt like I was the
only one that was keeping her from feeling the same way for him, or for anyone else. I
looked at her and her eyes would tell me so. It was the first time I felt like I was a
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hindrance. And shes asking me now to let her go. So I did. I had to. I cant help it, to be
the one who always had to wait for things to come around. And even if they did, I still
had to be the one to let them go when circumstance called for it.
***
It still stung. Id never really moved on from her. The sun was finally setting and I
looked beyond Bel Field. I tried to clear my eyes from the clouding tears. A black
Fortuner stopped in front of Gesu and I saw George, Ann, Patch, and Tope.
Gesus bell rang and I walked after them. George and Tope turned and gestured
for me to follow them. I froze and felt the evening breeze kiss my cheeks. I wiped away
a few tears and I couldnt believe how Ive never wanted anything this bad before. And
I just wanted to figure out how I could win her back.
***
Two months passed and I met up with Ann to ask her advice. Id never really changed
my mind and all my conversations with Ann always went back to that night in Mile Hi
because I never really talked about it to anyone, not even George.
Girl, so ano ba balak mo? Ann said.
I really want her back, Ann. I said. It was the first time I told Ann that I wanted
George back and I was willing to go all the way.
Sure ka ba?
Ive always been sure about George, Ann. Ano ba.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
Balita ko two months na rin silang wala ni David. I cant say its the perfect
time, but you know. Mas malaki chance, Liz. Uy, muling ibalik. Haha. Ann teased me
with what we call her shippers laugh and Id never been so hopeful.
And should I tell the rest na, Ann? I said.
Patch knows, Liz. Sorry I told him.
Kainis ka, Ann. Hahaha. Fine. I think Im fine with it naman. Sige so si Tope na
lang. So what do you think should I do, Ann? I mean, parang manliligaw ata ako?
Oh my Liz. Hahaha. I really dont know. Ask Tope when you tell him!
I took Anns advice. I told Tope. It was quick and Tope laughed, told me hes
sorry for all the jokes hed said before, most especially about that night.
So pano ba to, Tope? Do I send her flowers? Haharanahin ko ba? Hingi ako
tulong kay Patch to play the guitar for me? Aayain ko ba for lunch everyday? I said.
No, Liz! Haha! I think you know better. I mean, kilala mo si George. You should
know! He said.
Huh? Kaya nga ako lumapit sayo eh.
Exactly. Im telling you that gawin mo lang yung mga ginawa mo before. She
fell for that and its possible that she can fall for it again. Simple lang. Swabe! Natural.
No fancy stuff.
Tope just made perfect sense to me and I knew what I had to do and I wanted to
start on it right away.
***
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
It was a Monday night. I had been keeping myself busy and I couldnt remember the
last time I sent a text message which was for her alone. Its been a while and I thought I
should finally make the move.
I typed Dinner? on my phone and all it usually took was a millisecond to hit
send. But I thought, do I send it?. No big deal, I should. Its just dinner. Or no. Or yes. No
big deal. Or no. Never. It took me two minutes before I finally pressed send. Within a
minute, my phone beeped and then she said,
Sure! Where? :)
My heart raced and one moment I was so happy. Then nervous. No, just
cautious. Who was I kidding, I was elated! But that would be the first time talking to
her alone again after that night in Mile Hi. I wouldnt talk to her anyway whenever
wed meet with the rest. Its been a while and I was feeling all the butterflies, more
butterflies, even dragons in my stomach. This is it, I thought.
We had dinner in that ever familiar place. I guess we both missed the bacon and
cheese fries. She was late. No, I was just early. I saw her coming through my peripheral
but I chose to look down then at my phone so it wouldnt be too obvious. I noticed that
they still hadnt taken that mural down.
Hey, kumusta? I said.
Im fine, Liz. Busy with school. Thesis! How about you? She said.
Okay lang din! Same old.
Hows life?
Getting better.
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Hey, sorry ah. You know, for that night. I know its a bit too late na for an
apology pero sorry.
Basta ikaw, okay ka. Im good na rin. Okay ka ba?
Sabi mo nga, getting better. Im getting better as well.
It felt wonderful that she still cared, or so I thought. But it just felt fine.
I told you, Liz. Were friends no matter what.
Thanks. Thats great to know Thats a good start, I thought. That night was a
good start with her. After dinner, we said goodbye and we embraced. Again. I felt alive
again.
***
Weeks passed and dinners with her became more frequent. 711 nights were back, well
almost back. Wed talk about random things again, talk about the day. School. Family.
Eveything. Id text her everyday and shed reply. Small talks here and there. Id been
trying so hard to keep conversations up. Difficult times, I thought. But at least, she
would respond. Good enough. There was this time she wanted to have dinner and
texted first. Id be more than glad. Wed meet up at the same place.
Whats up, George?
Wala naman, Liz. Was hungry so I thought wed have dinner! Haha! Bawal ba?
Di naman.
Arent you glad?
Of course I am. I said. I didnt know where the conversation was going
though. But I was so sure I cant be there yet, Ikaw? Masaya ka ba?
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I am too, Liz. She smiled. That smile. I was celebrating inside so I smiled back.
Pero kumusta ka with David? I just felt like I already had that right again to
ask her about those things.
Okay lang naman Liz. Nagpaparamdam siya every now and then. Hed still
send me flowers. Tell me he misses me. Id reply every now and then din, but not when
he tells me he misses me. She said.
Whyd you break up again? I regretted asking my earlier question. I felt a pang
in my chest.
I guess I just needed time to figure me out.
I see. Still hoping? Oh why did I ask again.
Well, I cant say anything about that right now Liz.
I guess that was enough for that night. What mattered was that Id been with her
while she was trying to be better about things. I could make her feel better. These days
had been the best opportunities to make her the happiest person in the world, I thought.
A thousand Davids didnt matter. I could make it. This is my second chance.
***
I told Ann, Patch, and Tope about the progress Id been making with winning
George back. We were, as usual, waiting for George in 711.
Oh tapos? Nag hug kayo? Di pa ba kayo uli naghohold-hands? Ann said.
There was this time I tried pero nag-brush lang hands namin. Natakot ako eh
baka mabigla siya. I said.
Smooth ha. Hahaha! Patch said.
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Sabi sayo mukhang effective yung swabe moves eh! Tope said.
Alam mo, I think we should go out of town for Georges birthday! Ann said. I
was thinking the same thing too since November was almost coming to an end.
Oo nga! Lets plan something! I said.
Uy, mukhang may balak! Tope and Patch said in chorus. George came holding
a carton with both her hands and I stood to help her.
Ay its fine, Liz. She said. I embraced her lightly. For you guys! I baked red
velvet cupcakes!
Uy your favorite, Liz! Ann said. Ann looked at me with her shipper stare
and I could just imagine her giggling inside from joy. I was too. Oh my, George still
remembered baking those. Of all cupcakes, red velvet pa, I thought.
Oo nga no! George said. Sorry I was late, someone dropped by the house
kanina and I couldnt leave. David. I thought I stopped breathing when I heard that
name. What was he doing in her house? I thought. This cant be. Ann bumped my arm
and Tope let out an awkward smile, his panic smile, and Patch was whistling. What
obvious friends I have.
Oh David. Kumusta naman siya? Ann broke the silence.
Hes fine! Dropped by to get the other batch of cupcakes! He bought three
boxes. Gift daw. George said.
I see! By the way, George! We were thinking of going out of town the weekend
before the 19
th
! Ann said.
December to no? Haha! George said.
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Yup! Patch said.
No plans pa naman for that weekend! Sure! Basta ba sa birthday ko, well still
go out! Haha! George said. We can talk about that now!
Oo naman!
***
The weekend before the 19
th
of December came and I was so excited. I could finally
surprise her for her birthday. Okay na lahat, I thought. All ironed-out. Good as finished.
George and I were, as usual, texting the previous night.
Good night! So excited for tomorrow! George said but I read so excited to see
you tomorrow so I replied.
Excited to see you too! I said. Good night! Love you!
Aww! Love you girl! Sige, tulog na! She said. It was a little too late when I
realized that she just texted So excited for tomorrow. Oh well. I texted the rest,
Guys, plans natin ha! So excited! Thank you so much for putting up with all my
kagagahan. But tomorrow nights the night! Game face on! See you all. 6am. 711! Love
you loads!
***
I carried my gray gym bag and pressed G. I didnt get enough sleep but it was fine. I
thought Id just sleep in the car. We were off to Bataan anyway. Anvaya Cove,
according to Ann. Pretty long drive.
Ann brought her black Fortuner. Patch was driving. Tope, George and I would
be at the back. Perfect, I thought. It was almost quarter to seven and we were only
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waiting for George. Ang tagal, I thought. A black tinted Lancer came and it was George
who came out of the passenger seat side. I tried to check who brought her to Katipunan
but I failed to see who it was. Georges family never had a Lancer, I thought. She
apologized while loading her bags. Patch drove. Ann was in the passenger seat. I sat
between Tope and George.
Halfway through NLEX, Ann and Tope were snoozing. George was already
sleepy so I offered her my shoulder. She tilted her head so it rested on my shoulder. She
took my right arm so it intertwined with her left. I closed my eyes.
Gising na!!!! Dito na tayo! Patch said. I woke up and we were holding each
others hands but I let go.
***
The place is breathtaking. The sky was a harmonious mix of deep purple and shades of
orange and the water was deep blue. Clouds hovered and we wait for sundown by the
seashore. Barefoot. Its getting cooler. I bury my feet and the fine sand between my toes
feel wonderful and somehow reassuring. Its time. I give Patch, Ann, and Tope my
signal. Tope stands up first and goes back to the cottage. He says hes getting some
chips and beer. Patch and Ann follow leaving George with me. I etch all our names on
the sand and put my name beside Georges.
So many feelings for sunsets, I said.
I know. George said. Now I couldnt wait for the stars! I dont know why, but
Im glad sunsets exist because they tell me that my wishing on those bright stars at
night would begin soon. You dont wish at sunsets, right? Thats a weird comment, I
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think but I look at her and we laugh. Her hair dances with the breeze but she looks far
beyond the horizon. My phone beeps. It was Ann. Everythings ready, she says. We
walk along the shoreline for a good five minutes. We catch a glimpse of Ann, Patch, and
Tope from afar and I take her arm. Few stars are out and the only lights we see are the
strands of white Christmas lights my friends hang around the palm trees and the
bonfire they build in front of those trees. Were getting closer and Patch starts playing
his guitar. Both Patch and Tope are wearing red long sleeves and Anns wearing a
white dress.
Isnt she lovely? Isnt she wonderful? Theyre all singing now as they look our
way and I start singing as well while looking at her. From the white lights around those
trees hang a simple white cloth that says Happy birthday, George in dark blue ink,
courtesy of Anns forever beautiful handwriting. Tope is holding Red Ribbons black
forest lit with twenty candles. Ann is holding a bouquet of roses. The song ends and we
sing happy birthday.
Thank you so much guys. George says. I dont know what to say! She blows
her candles and Ann hands me the bouquet. This is it. Patch sings Sa Kanya by
MYMP and George looks at me holding the bouquet. Shes frozen. Her face turns blank.
The winds getting colder by the second and clouds hide the stars. I take a step closer to
her, holding the bouquet tighter and offering it to her.
Still in love, Georgina. I look deep into her eyes and Im closer more than ever.
I hold her hand. It starts to drizzle, then rain starts to pour. The rain puts out the fire.
The sea washes away our etched names from the sand.
Out of Sight | Colene Arcaina
Sorry, Lizzie. She looks down and shakes her head. She tells me in her coldest
voice, Hindi na talaga. Wag na natin ipilit pa. My heart stops at those words. I
swallow, hoping I heard it wrong, hoping for something else. She lets go of my hand. I
shut my eyes. I try to wish for hope, for anything, just anything that I can hold on to or
anything that can hold me. But I am drenched in rain and the stars are already out of
sight tonight. Theres nothing left.
***
Todays the last day of April and Im moving out from Katipunan. Four years is quick, I
thought. My moms waiting for me, and I grab my last luggage from unit 8P. I go down
and catch one last glimpse of Mile Hi as I walk to our car.
O ano na pong mangyayari dito? I said. Its a Tuesday and theyre closed, a
portion of the glass window covered with old newspapers. Theyve taken out the neon-
lit jukebox and some of the other displays.
Theyre renovating, said Kuya Lito, one of the security guards.
I take a peek through the uncovered glass window. A white primer is now
covering that wall where our mural used to be on. I guess theyll be painting new ones
and I dont know when Ill be back to see them.