Survival Guide To Creepypastas

Weve all been there. You have just gone to a certain place, at a certain time on a certain date, done
a special thing and the thing you suspected would happen has just fucking happened, not to mention
the fact that youve just seen whatever the fuck it is that lives in your mirror, been told in detail how
youre going to die, and the highly demonic and invincible thing you summoned is heading towards
you.
Also, your family are all dead, your friends are all missing and youre being framed by someone
with access to your bedroom. What the fuck do you do now, sweet protagonist?
Well, youve come to the right place to find out !hese are the simple rules one must follow in order
to firstly, not become the victim of creepypasta and furthermore, to come out kicking if the worst
does happen. With the help of this guide you too can be the catatonic, traumatised wreck as opposed
to the guy currently being worn as a coat by some dude who roams a lot. "ust keep these simple
rules in mind#
$. %irrors and darkness dont mi&.
'. Actually mirrors are a general ()*+, in creepypasta world, there is nothing more sinister.
,. !here is -ero chance of survival if you look the thing that no one else can see or answer its
.uestion incorrectly.
/. 0f you are alone at night in a creepy mental institution,take some time to consider what the fuck
are you doing there, then, if it is appropriate to do so, leave.
1. Avoid going to places where everyone else who went there never came back or died ine&plicably.
2. 0f someone stops your vehicle at night and asks to come with you, it would probably be in your
best interests to politely decline.
3. 4illing is the last method of survival, use it sparingly but without fear.
5. W6* WA7 86*)9 is always a good thing to ponder. Also who the hell answers a phone while
kissing a dead persons se&y daughter. A douche is who.
:. ;et a simple .,5 revolver. <oad it with ' silver bullets. 0f you really feel there is no chance to
come alive out of a situation, take one shot at whatevers threatening you. 0f this doesnt work, you
still have the last shot to become an hero with.
$=. Area 1$ is simply too well guarded to let you get in. *r to let any alien out.
$$. When going to a hotel, try to steer clear of unauthori-ed areas. 0f you couldnt resist but you saw
a red thing, take some time to consider the price range and hotel standard on your ne&t visit. 6ave
you ever stayed at a haunted 6ilton?
$'. When booking your hotel stay, !rip Advisor can be an invaluable tool in deeming whether your
choice is the scene of a multiple murder>full of dead people>built at the mouth of hell. <ocal
newspapers can also be helpful.
$,. 0nvoking demons, speaking weird languages and performing rituals of any kind is considered
dangerous. ?efrain from doing that, especially around Abandoned Warehouses, @hurches,
8sychiatric 0nstitutions, Aorests and your house in front of a mirror at night.
$/. When going to a new area, environmental understanding is a key to survival. Ask around for
cursed places, legends, dangers and other details. <isten to the local peoples advice, and dont be
afraid to ask if youre unsure of which attacks>disappearances are paranormal and which arent.
$1. Always have a Bible ne&t to your bed. 8rovides average reading material, proof of beliefs and a
really heavy object to throw at enemies.
$2. Cont count on 6oly Water. ;et a sturdy vial of 7ulfuric Acid and let a priest @onsecrate it.
$3. "apanese priests cleanse rooms by waving katana swords around. !heir ritual is $==D effective
on corporeal forms.
$5. 0f you find 222 messages on your phone, mailbo&, email, etc consider changing the said service
provider. Also dont bother listening >reading the messages. 0ts spam. 9&tra dimensional, possibly,
but spam nevertheless.
$:. *ld pharmaceutical companies cant help you. Enless you specifically need (Blood *f !he
0nnocent+, +7nake *il+, and (?adioactive 7yrup+. Which is never.
'=. 0f you need to sign it in blood, you do not need to sign it. All mainstream governing bodies will
accept contracts signed in ink, bear this in mind if offered deals that seem too good to be true.
'$. <ighthouses are dangerous. Avoid them at all costs. 0f you work at a <ighthouse consider a
career in 0nsurance 7ales, or Feterinary @are.
''. !here is simply no reason to listen to music that causes suicidal tendencies, or to watch films
that have had strange>disastrous conse.uences..
',. 0f you like to plan ahead and have some money, buy your auntie and uncle a house in BelGAir.
)othing can harm you there no matter how scared your mother is.
'/. 7ecret secluded untouched places in old buildings are left untouched for a reason. 8ioneers
never say (die+ but in fact they do have an unusually high mortality rate.
'1. Before you start swimming in the iceGcold waters of a murky lake at the center of a dark forest
at midnight, ask yourself, do you really want to travel to an ancient and terrifying city? 0f the
answer is (no,+ then stay at home instead, and watch whatever .uality programming is available on
@inema&.
'2. *n your ,,rd birthday try celebrating in a well lit house with the company of others.
'3. ?efrain from using the *ne !rue )ame for anything, there is probably a reason people gave it a
nick.
'5. Watching !F static for long periods may be ha-ardous to your health, try satelite !F to combat
this problem.
':. ;et a cat. !hose furry little hairballs seem to perceive unnatural phenomena better than us, and
if desperate, simply throw it at whatever is about to get you.
,=. @emeteries are bad places, especially in foggy conditions and on halloween.
,$. !ry not to close your eyes, ever. 0f you must, do so only briefly.
,'. 0f you hear chanting, run until you are out of earshot.
,,. 0f you are too old to play with dolls, you do not need to be anywhere near one of the creepy little
fuckers.
,/. <egends can offer valuable insight of where not to go camping with friends.
,1. When babysitting, ascertain the familys tastes and preferences, to avoid being killed by poorly
selected statues.
,2. 9ven if you are certain that running will not save you, it is always best to try.
Aollow these simple rules and little Hor massiveI harm may befall you. 9ither way, the important
thing is to make sure your tale is told, copied, and pasted repeatedly.