1

Terrys 50
th
Fabulosity
tour

13-14 September, 2014

2

3
Contents
THE PURPLE ESSENTIALS FOR THE WEEKEND 4
What to bring 4
Itinerary 5
Accommodation 5
Food 5
Drinks 5
Costs 5
Volunteers 6
THE MOVIE AND PLOT 6
The Setting A world turning Beige 6
The Movie Plot and Journey 7
INDIVIDUAL AND GROUP CHALLENGES / EVENING ENTERTAINMENT 9
TOP OF THE CHARTS IN NZ ON 13 SEPTEMBER EACH YEAR 10
SONGBOOK 11
Purple People Eater 11
Purple Rain 12
Purple Toupee 12
Purple Haze 13
Purple Sky 13
Purple Cow 14
Lily the Pink 14

4
The Purple Essentials for the weekend

What to bring

A few essentials to remember:

Before the Tour (over the next few weeks):
1. Please confirm over the next week or so that you are definitely going to
be there, and that you can make it by 9.30am on the Saturday. I just need
to firm up on final numbers there appears to be 38 definites and 7
maybes, but based on previous experience this could vary wildly up or
down.
2. Volunteers needed for some tasks (see below) please let me know if
you would like to volunteer, or else Ill arbitrarily allocate people I think
might be able to use this as a learning experience.
3. Think of ideas for group activities see the individual and group
challenges section below.
4. Send me any suggestions for individual challenges - see the
individual and group challenges section below.
5. Send me any ideas you have about the movie plot (to enhance it and
make it more ridiculous).

On the Tour (over the next few weeks):
1. Wet weather gear / umbrella if the weather looks dodgy probably
best to come prepared anyway (except Mrs Punga please dont bring
that red mackintosh). There will be a couple of outdoor stops.
2. Some comfortable walking gear there will be an optional walk of an
hour or so on Sunday morning.
3. A sleeping bag there is a mix of made-up beds and un-made-beds, but
probably best to bring a sleeping bag (let me know if you dont have a
sleeping bag as Ill also assign rooms to people, so not everyone will need
sleeping bags).
4. An outrageous costume for your character with some sympathy
towards the colour purple.
5. A prop of some sort e.g. flags or protest banners
6. A musical instrument if you can play one (or just pretend anyway).
7. A great sense of humour and attitude.


5
Itinerary

Saturday, 13 September
9.30am

10.30

6pm (ish)
7.30
Breakfast at 111A The Ridgeway, Mornington, Wellington groups
and challenges assigned.
Transport departs Chateau Ridgeway 10.30am, with various stops
throughout the day, including a light lunch at around 12.30pm
Arrive at accommodation
Dinner & entertainment
Sunday, 14 September
8.30 - 9.30
9.30
10.45
12.30

4pm (ish)
Breakfast
Optional walk
Pick-up stragglers (those who elect to sleep in or not to do the walk)
Arrive at lunch destination (potentially showing raw video footage
from yesterday)
Arrive back at The Ridgeway (may do a stop in town also)

Accommodation

The accommodation is wonderful and although it isnt 5-star, it is really
comfortable, clean and private rest assured, its not dormitories or Marae-style
sleeping. To avoid a shambles, Ill allocate people to rooms generally a couple
or 2-3 singles per room (or, if you would like a threesome, let me know who the
third person is because this will make it easier to allocate rooms). Some rooms
have en suites but a lot will share bathrooms which are clean, private and
wholesome.
Food

There will be plenty of food provided. It will be mainly hearty Kiwi fare. If you
have any dietary requirements, there will be other options available but just let
me know in advance so I can make sure they are taken care of.
Drinks

Well operate a kitty for the bar (see costs below) and after thats run out, its up
to you what you buy (or shout).
Costs

Most of the essentials (transport, food, accommodation and any site fees) are
taken care of. I originally suggested a $50 contribution, but what I suggest
instead is that everyone from Wellington put the $50 into a kitty (Ill have
someone collect it at breakfast on the day) and well put this on the bar wherever
we stop and at the final destination until it runs out. After that its free range.

6
Volunteers

To make it easier, can I have some volunteers for the following tasks:
Two more volunteers to be Beige Dictators.
Someone to take care of the bar money - collect the $50 bar kitty from
everyone at the breakfast, and organize the bar tab/s.
Musicians anyone who can play the guitar or piano or any other
instrument.
Choir a backing choir to chorale the massed singing (Mahanga will lead
this activity Ive decided).
Film assistants a couple of people to give our film director a hand on the
day. She will tell you what to do.
Sheep-rouser someone to get everyone out of bed and to breakfast on
the Sunday.
Random acts volunteers to perform any random acts of your choice
throughout the weekend (e.g. a random performance by Constance
Craving, or a random song).
The Movie and Plot
The Setting A world turning Beige

Around the world, a plot to ban purple has been taking hold. Purple has been
deemed to be a subversive colour, often leading to acts of spontaneity, outbursts
and general rebellion.

Dictators and one-party states are particularly keen to ban purple or any acts of
purple expression. Their preferred colour is Beige, and beige is being promoted
throughout the world. In many countries, people are being forced to wear Beige,
drive Beige vehicles, live in Beige houses and have Beige kitchens. Songs and
movies are being written to promote Beige. Countries are falling like dominoes
to the Beige revolution. People in Beige countries are afraid to be non-compliant,
as they see many people fall victim to the purple purge. In some of the more
extreme Beige states, people flouting the Beige laws and wearing or promoting
purple are being rounded up and publicly humiliated by being made to parade
Beige smocks and hang signs around their necks with humiliating messages such
as Im a Beige Person or I love our Dear Beige Leader.

New Zealand has yet to topple to the Beige Revolution, although the main
opposition Beige Party has been attracting increasing support, and there is real
fear that the nation will turn Beige before long. Many New Zealanders are quietly
putting away purple, discarding purple clothing, painting over purple houses,
and buying Beige cars just in case the country turns Beige. No one really wants to
be persecuted and the Beige Brigade is making a comeback.

However, through the gloom of the Beige wave, there are glimmers of hope and
pockets of resistance as some people continue to flaunt purple. The Purple
Independence Mass Movement Society (aka PIMMS) has many members, some
underground and some open. Those PIMMS members who are underground
7
wear subtle and sometimes hidden expressions of purple, and those openly
PIMMS members flaunt it with everything theyve got. PIMMS leaders are often
seen wearing the most radiant shades of purple and drinking their signature
Pimms in public (Pimms is the drink of choice for PIMMS members as a complete
contrast to the Beige Baileys and Beige Beer favoured by the Beige Revolution).
PIMMS members are also often heard singing purple-themed songs and erupting
into spontaneous acts of ridiculousness and self-expression in public. Its enough
to make the esteemed founders of the Beige Revolution turn purple with rage
even the calmer ones such as Jimmy Carter and Jim Bolger (those names are no
accident Jim is a preferred name of the Beige Revolution, and Jim is now the
most popular baby name for boys and girls).

Throughout it all, there are subversive plots to promote purple, such as this
shop:
http://www.thepurplestore.com/cgi-bin/product_detail.cgi?pstore_id=14810
and this article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/15/men-wearing-purple-study-
ariel_n_1967226.html

The Movie Plot and Journey

The PIMMS leaders from throughout the world have gathered in Wellington, NZ,
as the recognised PIMMS capital of the world. Many of these are famous people
or celebrities in their own right. Others have adopted the personas of famous
purple luminaries from throughout history such as Julius Caesar, Nelson
Mandela and Maa Nonu (either as a disguise, or to provoke the Beige Brigade).

The PIMMS leaders embark on a journey to a secret location where they will be
holding the International PIMMS Conference. Along the way they spread the
purple word and wage war against beige. Some have purple protest and PIMMS
banners and make every opportunity to recruit people to the cause even
handing out purple gladioli, purple flags, hats and propaganda to the masses.

However, theres a sinister undercurrent going on. Beige infiltrators, some of
them even Beige dictators themselves, are tracking the group and spying on
them along the way trying to incriminate the PIMMS members. They will use any
means possible to incriminate he PIMMS members and get them to admit the
errors of their ways. To incriminate a PIMMS member, the Beige dictators must
get the PIMMS member to utter the Beige word or phrase which only the Beige
dictators know. Once a confession has been extracted, they photograph the
PIMMS member wearing a Beige smock the worst thing imaginable for PIMMS
members. The PIMMS member will then be required to record a confession
admitting they are really a Beige sympathizer. What generally happens, however,
is that PIMMS members will ensure their confession is so elaborate and
ridiculous that no one would possibly believe them and know that it is a hoax.

Along the way, the PIMMS members are into purple anthems, with purple
resistance songs, dance and colourful protests and chants. PIMMS members are
8
divided into groups for this purpose and their mission is to convert the Beige
masses to the cause.

The PIMMS members are also recording a purple resistance movie along the
way, demonstrating the liberation of their members and the power of purple.
Every opportunity to highlight purple beacons is taken and filmed.

At the ultimate destination, PIMMS members are free to celebrate their freedom,
spontaneity and general love of purple. The Beige Dictators are finally
overthrown and become PIMMS sympathisers.

In preparation beforehand, if you have any ideas about how you think this basic
plot could be enhanced or made more ridiculous, feed them through to me.
9
Individual and Group Challenges / evening entertainment

Upon arrival at Chateau Ridgeway on the Saturday morning (9.30am), you will
draw a number and be randomly assigned a group (6-8 people per group). Each
group will then get together to plan the following:

1. An act to perform at their designated stop. You have fairly much free
reign, but it should be designed to support PIMMS and to publicly
promote purple emancipation. It could be a protest march, a purple-
themed song, a dance, or pretty much anything you want the more
attention it attracts the better. Your groups mission is to also get
everyone else involved in performing also (including strangers in the
vicinity). There are prizes for:
The most fabulous performance;
The performance that gets the most people involved; and
The most surprising or out of the comfort zone performance.

2. Their groups theme song, which they must get everyone in the group to
sing at some point along the way.

3. An activity or item of entertainment for the whole group in the evening.
This could be a game, a performance or a challenge of some sort ideally
lasting for around half an hour or so (or a couple of activities).

So in preparation beforehand, think of an idea or two for each of the above so
that your group can decide fairly quickly on the day what to run with.

Also upon arrival on Saturday morning, you will select from a hat an individual
challenge. If you dont like the challenge, youre allowed to nominate someone
else to swap with until such time as you have a challenge youre up for (at which
point you can simply say no to any further swaps).

In preparation beforehand, think of an individual challenge youd like to put into
the hat and let me have any ideas it must be something that you would be
prepared to do yourself if you picked it out of the hat, but something that will be
amusing (not humiliating) to everyone. Could be absolutely anything, such as
telling a bar person that theyre quite beautiful, starting to sing in the middle of a
conversation, doing a chicken dance at a random moment, telling a group of
people that the world is about to end, and so on. Use your imagination.

10
Top of the Charts in NZ on 13 September each year

13 September Top single on NZ charts
1964 House of the Rising Sun
1965 Help
1966 Wild Thing
1967 San Francisco
1968 Hey Jude
1969 Honky Tonk Woman
1970 Lola
1971 I did what I did for Maria
1972 Puppy Love (Donny Osmond)
1973 Delta Dawn
1974 The Night Chicago Died
1975 Paloma Blanca
1976 Dancing Queen
1977 Boogie Nights
1978 Rivers of Babylon
1979 I was made for Loving You
1980 Locomotion
1981 Celebration
1982 Cat People (putting out fire)
1983 Life Begins at 40
1984 One Love
1985 Into the Groove
1986 Venus
1987 La Bamba
1988 Doctorin the Tardis
1989 Toy Soldiers
1990 Blaze of Glory
1991 Everything I do I do it for you
1992 Achy Breaky Heart
1993 Green Jelly
1994 Love is all Around
1995 Waterfall
1996 Chains
1997 Barbie Girl
1998 Ghetto Superstar
1999 Mambo No 5
2000 Rock DJ
2001 All Rise
2002 Complicated
2003 Where is the Love
2004 So Damn Beautiful
2005 Axel F
2006 Sexy Back
2007 Argo Technology
2008 So What
2009 Sweet Dreams
2010 Teenage Dream
2011 Somebody that I used to know
2012 Feel Inside
2013 Roar
2014 ?


11
Songbook (in progress)


Purple People Eater

Well, I saw the thing
A comin' out of the sky
It had a one long horn
And a one big eye
I commenced to shakin'
And I said "oohwee
It looks like a Purple
People Eater to me"

It was a one-eyed, one-horned
Flyin' Purple People Eater
One-eyed, one-horned
Flyin' Purple People Eater
Sure looked strange to me
One eye

Well, he came down to earth
And he lit in a tree
I said, "Mister Purple People Eater,
Don't eat me"
I heard him say
In a voice so gruff,
I wouldn't eat you
Cause you're so tough

It was a one-eyed, one-horned
Flyin' Purple People Eater
One-eyed, one-horned
Flyin' Purple People Eater
One-eyed, one-horned
Flyin' purple people Eater
Sure looked strange to me
One horn

I said, "Mister Purple People Eater,
What's your line?"
He said,
Eatin' purple people,
And it sure is fine.
What is the reason
That you came to land
I wanna get a job
In a rock 'n roll band
He wears short shorts
A friendly little People Eater
What a sight to see
Oooohhh
And then he swung from the tree

Well, bless my soul, rock 'n roll
Flyin' Purple People Eater
Pigeon-toed, under-growed
Flyin' Purple People Eater

And he lit on the ground
And he started to rock,
A-really rockin' around
It was a crazy ditty
With a swingin' tune, singin'
Bop bapa loop a lap
A loom bam boom
Well, bless my soul rock 'n roll
Flyin' Purple People Eater
Pigeon-toed, under-growed
Flyin' Purple People Eater
I like short shorts
A Flyin' Purple People Eater
What a sight to see
Purple people

Well, he went on his way
And then what-a you know
I saw him last night
On a TV show
He was blowin' it out,
Really knockin' 'em dead
Playin' rock 'n roll music
Through the horn on his head
Boogie woogie











12
Purple Rain

never meant 2 cause u any sorrow
I never meant 2 cause u any pain
I only wanted 2 one time see u
laughing
I only wanted 2 see u laughing in the
purple rain

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain
I only wanted 2 see u bathing in the
purple rain

I never wanted 2 be your weekend
lover
I only wanted 2 be some kind of friend
Baby I could never steal u from another
It's such a shame our friendship had 2
end
Purple rain Purple rain
I only wanted 2 see u underneath the
purple rain

Honey I know, I know, I know times are
changing
It's time we all reach out 4 something
new
That means u 2
U say u want a leader
But u can't seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better close it
And let me guide u 2 the purple rain

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain

If you know what I'm singing about up
here
C'mon raise your hand
Purple rain Purple rain
I only want 2 see u, only want 2 see u
In the purple rain
Purple Toupee
I remember the year I went to camp
I heard about some lady named Selma and some blacks
Somebody put their fingers in the President's ears
It wasn't too much later they came out with Johnson's wax
I remember the book depository where they crowned the king of Cuba
Now that's all I can think of, but I'm sure there's something else
Way down inside me I can feel it coming back
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lam will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lam)
Chinese people were fighting in the park
We tried to help them fight, no one appreciated that
Martin X was mad when they outlawed bell bottoms
Ten years later they were sharing the same cell
I shouted out, "Free the Expo '67"
Till they stepped on my hair, and they told me I was fat
Now I'm very big, I'm a big important man
And the only thing that's different is underneath my hat
Purple toupee will show the way when summer brings you down
(Purple toupee when summer brings you down)
Purple toupee and gold lam will turn your brain around
(Purple toupee and gold lam)
Purple toupee is here to stay after the hair has gone away
The purple brigade is marching from the grave
La la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la
We're on some kind of mission
We have an obligation
We have to wear toupees

13
Purple Haze

Purple Haze was in my brain,
lately things don't seem the same,
actin' funny but I don't know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

Purple Haze all around,
don't know if I'm coming up or down.
Am I happy or in misery?
Whatever it is, that girl put a spell on me.

Purple Haze was in my eyes,
don't know if it's day or night,
you've got me blowing, blowing my mind
is it tomorrow or just the end of time?

Purple Sky

We kept apart and connected by the
same stretch of road
Neglected the truth and refused to
grow old
It started a stream but then the levee
fell
When the rainmaker had some extra
sends to sell

I just wanna drink 'til I'm not thirsty
I just wanna sleep 'til I'm not tired
I just wanna drive 'til I run out of
highway
Into the purple sky

Well, I just thought I'd call and see
what's going on
Did the hills all flatten out since I've
been gone?
Are the fields all painted up in red
and blue?
Are you thinking of me the times I'm
thinking of you?

I just wanna drink 'til I'm not thirsty
I just wanna sleep 'til I'm not tired
I just wanna drive 'til I run out of
highway
Into the purple sky

But if I'm gonna live until I'm 50
I'm gonna need you by my side
Cuz I don't wanna dance without you
with me
Into the purple sky

Livin' like a soulless pirate somewhere
lost at sea
Wondering if I ever make it home,
will you come back to me
Could we dream up a reason for a
rendezvous?
I'm back in town and I got nothing to
do
We could drive all day with the top
let down
We could stay in tonight or we could
wreck this town

I just wanna drink 'til I'm not thirsty
I just wanna sleep 'til I'm not tired
I just wanna drive 'til I run out of
highway
Into the purple sky

But if I'm gonna live until I'm 50
I'm gonna need you by my side
Cuz I don't wanna dance without you
with me
Into the purple sky

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh, huh
Into the purple sky
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh, huh
Into the purple sky
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh, huh
Into the purple sky
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh, huh
Into the purple sky
Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, huh, huh
Into the purple sky
14

Purple Cow
Doris Day - 1953

The very day the day we kissed
I went to see my occulist
The occulist said "I insist, it looks like love

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
I never thought I'd hear a butter fly
meouw
I never thought I'd see these funny things
somehow
But you've got me seeing them now

I never thought I'd ever see a green giraffe
I never thought I'd ever see a waltzing calf
I never thought I'd see a weeping willow
laugh
But you've got me seeing them now

Ev'rything's hazy, upside down above
Don't think I'm crazy
I'm in Love, I'm in Love, I'm in Love

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
You gotta be in love to see a purple Cow
But since the day you kissed me, Baby
Take a bow, 'cause you've got me seein'
one now

(Instrumental Break)

I never thought I'd ever see a purple cow
You gotta be in love to see a purple Cow
But since the day you kissed me, baby
Take a bow, 'cause you've got me seein'
one now
Better than bein' one
You've got me seein' one now

Purple Cow
(Flaming Humidifer Teabag from Hell)

You ever seen the purple cow, I never
hope to see one
But I can tell you anyhow Id rather see
than be one
Yes I wrote the purple cow, I never wish
Id wrote it
But I can tell you anyhow, Ill kill you if
you quote it
Ill kill you if you quote it



Lily the Pink

We'll drink a drink a drink
To lily the pink the pink the pink
The saviour of our human race
For she invented, medicinal compound
Most efficacious in every case

Mr freers had sticky out ears
And it made him awful shy
And so they gave him medicinal compound
And now he's learning how to fly

Brother Tony was notably bony
He would never eat his meals
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now they move him round on wheels

We'll drink a drink a drink
To lily the pink the pink the pink
The saviour of the human race
For she invented medicinal compound
Mosr efficacious in every case

Old Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar
And so they put him in a home
Where they gave him medicnal compound
And now he's emporor of Rome

Jonny Hammer, had a terrible st st st st
stammer
He could hardly sssay a word
And so they gave him medicinal compound
Now's he's seen, but never heard

Aunty Milly ran willy nilly
When her legs they did recede
So they looked on medicinal compound
Now they call her milipede

Jennifer Eccles, had terrible freckles
And the boys all called her names
But they gave her medicinal compound
Now he joins in all the games

Lily the pink she turned to drink
She filled up with parafin inside
And despite her medicinal compound
Sadly piccalilli died

Up to heaven her soul ascended
15
All the church bells they did ring
She took with her medicinal compound
Hark the herald angels sing