The Best of

Our Selves
BY MAISARAH AHMAD KAMIL










m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 2





May we always be reminded of our purpose in life
May we never forget
May this book serve as a reminder to all of us on the little but
important things in life that we may have overlooked, or
forgotten












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INTRODUCTION

This is a humble book, written with the shy hope that it may
serve as a reminder. A reminder to the self, and to others. It is
a book written with the hope and prayer that it will benefit the
one who reads it, even if just a little. It is a book which aims to
remind us that we live in a harsh world, but with an All-Merciful
God; that we have choices over the paths we take, but that we
are never alone; that we will keep on stumbling, falling, but that
it is okay; that we are here because we have been chosen by
Him, and it is to Him we will return.













m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 4

AUTHORS NOTE

Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah for the completion of this book.
First and foremost, thank you very much for taking the time to
read. For some of you, I may be a new author venturing into
the written world. For quite a number of you, however, you have
pestered me for too many years already to produce a book, so
here we are and thank you for your constant support.
This is not a book of facts.
It is a book of insights. Of ideas. Of perceptions. It is a book of
thoughts, emotions, confusion and realisations things I wish
to share with you, dear readers, with hope that it may bring
hope into your hearts and make you realize that, truly, nobody
can replace you. You are your own, unique, perfectly imperfect
self, and you are precious.
Feel free to distribute this e-book. It is a free e-book, with hope
that it may equip me with the courage to write a full-length book
one day.
May Allah bless you always, all ways.
Maisarah.





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Who are you, if

You lose your job.
You don't have a salary, or a source of income.
You fame dies away.
Your car disappears.
Your house taken away.
Your family, gone.
Your friends, no more.

Stripped away of all the things you hide behind, the illusion of
what you think you 'have' or 'possess': money, fame, class,
family, friends
If all that is taken away and you're finally left exposed, just
you, the world, and God

Who are you, really?

Who is that soul residing in your body: the you who really,
truly matter; the only you that actually exist?

m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 6

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1: THE ILLUSION OF INDEPENDENCE ...................... 7
CHAPTER 2: WE ARE BORN PERFECTLY IMPERFECT ............. 12
CHAPTER 3: IN STRIVING TO BE BETTER ............................... 17
CHAPTER 4: WHEN VERY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO US ......... 23
CHAPTER 5: WE ARE ALWAYS READY ................................... 27
CHAPTER 6: LIVE BRAVELY, LIVE WITHOUT FEAR ................. 31
CHAPTER 7: BECOME THE BEST OF OUR SELVES .................. 37












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CHAPTER 1: THE ILLUSION OF INDEPENDENCE

In our world today, we are often under an illusion.
An illusion telling us that with the advancements of technology,
we can do everything ourselves.
TV commercials show how successful we are driving our
expensive cars, carrying our slim briefcases everywhere,
connecting to people and getting our work done with just a few
touches of our screens from one gadget to another. The same
messages are shown to us in newspapers, pop-ups, articles,
billboards. We are convinced that once we earn our own
income, we have grown up.
So we feel accomplished.
We feel independent.
We immediately fall under the illusion that we are capable of
handling our own lives.

Has it ever occurred to us that behind the hand phone or tablet
or laptop were using to stay connected, there are thousands
of souls actually working to help us?
Has it ever occurred to us how many people it took to produce
our gadgets? Or how many are working to keep the
communication lines open? From putting the pieces of our
gadgets together, to assembling it, to ensuring it works, to
selling it to us, to maintaining the network for us to connect, to
repairing our devices when it breaks down
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 8

Have we ever given a thought to those souls who physically
worked to help us? Or do we believe, that because we bought
the gadget with our own money, paid for the network, exerted
the strength of our own fingers to send messages to the other
party that were actually independent?
When the truth is were not.

Independence is an illusion.
Imagine if nobody is around to produce our gadgets.
Imagine if nobody is around to keep the network up and
running.
Imagine if nobody is around to repair our gadgets when it
breaks.
Wouldnt we be alone?
Would we still be independent?

There are times when bad things happen to us, and we lose
our patience.
Sometimes, when were waiting at a queue, we often think that
the person behind the counter is deliberately taking his/her
sweet time while the line gets longer and longer. And we stomp
our foot and huff and groan, thinking Goodness, hurry up! I
dont have all day to queue up like this!
But what if theres nobody behind the counter?
Sometimes, when the garbage truck accidentally skipped our
house, we come home and see our rubbish still piled nicely in
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their plastic bags, and my goodness, it stinks. And we angrily
blame the truck for not collecting our garbage because
seriously, the smell and sight of it is making our house look bad!
But what if theres nobody to collect our garbage, ever?
Sometimes, we face network problems at work, or our
computer crashes and we lose all our months of hard work. So
when the IT guy comes to help us, we shout at them, blame
them, blame the world for causing us such distress. As long as
this problem isnt settled, how am I supposed to finish my
work?
But what if theres nobody to help us when a problem occurs?

When we start thinking we are independent, we are capable of
losing compassion to others.

When we see beggars at the side of the road, we think very
badly of them. We work hard, we get our own income why
are they sitting there asking for the money we worked so hard
to earn?
When a car breaks down at the highway, causing a massive
jam that keeps us from important meetings and engagements,
we get frustrated, wondering why on earth did that person not
take care of his/her car better and cause so much problems to
others? Because we always take care of our cars. We never
face that problem.
When a waiter carries our plate away after were done eating,
we never stop to thank them because we pay for our food.
Carrying plates is that persons job. In fact, were doing the
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 10

waiter justice if we didnt take time to visit the restaurant, the
restaurant wouldnt get our money. If our restaurant didnt get
our money, the business may not have run. If the business may
not have run, the waiter may not even have a job. No, its the
waiter who should thank us, not the other way around.

Independence is a dangerous illusion.
It makes us proud.
It makes us forget how dependent we are on others.
So we forget to give charity.
We forget to stop and help that person.
We forget to say thank you.
We forget to do a lot of things, because we think were
independent we dont need others, we say.

But let us remind ourselves of this.
Let us remind ourselves of the Judgment Day.
When our sins and rewards are put on the weighing scale
and we realize that we only need just one more reward, just
one more, to save ourselves.
Thats when well realize
If only we gave the shillings in our pocket as charity.
If only we stopped to help someone.
If only we said thank you.
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On that day, it will finally dawn on us that we have never been
independent at all.
It will finally dawn on us that person we didnt want to help, the
one we looked down on its that person who may be the one
who could have saved us.

But by then, it would be too late.

But not now.
Now, it is still not too late.
This book is not about helping others. It is about helping
ourselves.
Lets begin.








m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 12

CHAPTER 2: WE ARE BORN PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

By nature, we were created, born, designed to be imperfect.
Every single one of us are perfectly imperfect, living in a
perfectly imperfect world. Nothing around us is perfect. Not
even the Earth we live in.
The moon cannot give out its own light.
The sun will one day die.
Mountains will never withstand the test of time.
And we we will eventually leave this world.
We have never truly seen perfection in this life. Consciously,
we dont know what it is, but we have an idea in our minds what
it looks like. But we can never get there. No matter how hard
we try, no matter how hard we strive towards it, we just can
never, ever get there.
Not in this life.
I can hear the voices of the pessimists now: If its impossible
to be perfect, then why bother trying at all?
Let me answer in a different way.

Imagine if were perfect.
We know everything, weve been through everything. Nothing
marvels us anymore, because were perfect. All our work is
perfect. All our relationships are polished, clean, amazing.
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In a perfect relationship, maybe we wont even need to
communicate anymore. Wed know our partners inside out and
backwards one blink and we know what theyre feeling, how
to make them feel better, how to have that perfect life.
Does that sound ideal?

Personally, I wouldnt know what to do with myself if I were
perfect in this life that is designed to be imperfect.
Imagine if theres nothing left for us to learn.
Nothing else for us to experience.
Imagine not needing to exert any effort for anything anymore,
because were perfect.

Perfection lies only with the One.
Even though we have never seen perfection, we have an idea
about it. Its human disposition to want to be perfect.
Have we ever stopped to ask, how come? If we never met a
perfect human being in our lives, if weve always lived in this
imperfect world, then how is it that we even know what
perfection means?
The answer is, its because we were born, created in Jannah.
In an unconscious level, far too complex for us to comprehend,
thats how we know about perfection. Were struggling to get
there. To return to where we belong. To meet Him.

m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 14

In the process of striving, however, we make a mistake.
We make the mistake of trying to be perfect, when it goes
against our very nature, our very capability, of becoming
perfect.
We try to become something we can never be.

Caught in the illusion of perfection, we look around us and
define the things we see.
We look around ourselves, and we keep on telling ourselves
we want to be as perfect as Person A or Person B. That in
school, if we dont score straight As or if we get a place in a
lower university, it somehow means we havent succeeded.
We get these weird notions in our heads that life is a
comparison between us and others. Who owns the latest
gadget. Who has the better car. Who lands the better job. Who
gets married first. Whose children are most successful in
school.
How wrong we are.
How deluded weve become.
We keep on comparing, and comparing, and comparing,
because in our hearts, we see that if we are better than others,
its a step closer to perfection.
But truthfully, we are actually the worst judges to determine
that. From what we see, we may think Person A has it better.
But if we truly knew, maybe we wont ever even want to be
Person A.
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After all, we know stories of celebrities who have it all, but
have broken families and divorces and end up committing
suicide.
We also know stories of families living under harsh conditions
who are always at peace, always happy, always grateful and
fulfilled in living their lives.
Perfection is an illusion in this world that we can never get.

Nobody in this world is perfect.
Science tells us that people are born with different IQs. Science
also teaches us that some people are born with diseases,
illnesses, sicknesses, health conditions. We dont need science
to know that some people are born in rich families, and some
people are born in poor families. But does that make these
people less perfect than others?
No. It doesnt.
Its just one of the million differences they share between us.
How smart we are doesnt really matter. How healthy our body
is, how pretty we are, how strong we are. How rich we are.
Those are traits of our bodies, of vessels.

Vessels, bodies, dont matter they too, like this world, will
grow old and die.
What matters is whats inside. The soul. The heart.
Our perfectly imperfect selves.

m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 16

It is important to accept the fact that we cannot be perfect.
It is important to accept that nobody is perfect.
And nobody will ever be in this life.
It is, however, important to accept ourselves as who we are,
and be at peace with our imperfections.

Accept the body that we are born in. Love it. Cherish it. Thank
it for shielding our souls, our hearts, and providing us the
chance and opportunity to experience this life.
Accept our intelligence. Accept that there will always be people
smarter than us. Accept that in certain situations, we may need
to work harder than others to achieve something.
Accept our wealth. Our social status. Our friends and family.
Accept that these are the things given to us. This is the default
setting, the starting point, in which we will start to live our lives,
perfectly imperfect in its own way.
Once we accept our default setting, our starting point, our
perfectly imperfect selves, we can begin to move forward.







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CHAPTER 3: IN STRIVING TO BE BETTER

When we realize that we are imperfect, and that we can never
reach perfection, does that mean we have no reason to keep
trying?
Does that mean we should give up?
That all our efforts are futile?

We may not be perfect.
We may always make mistakes.
We may hurt the people we love.
We may constantly disappoint ourselves.
But we can always be better.

Being better is more important than being perfect.
It is the one thing we should always strive for, endlessly,
stumbling and falling and pushing ourselves back to our feet
again and again.
After all, it is human disposition to always want to be better. To
always keep on trying. To never give up. Its within our nature,
within our design, to keep on striving, no matter how slowly, no
matter how painfully.

There is, really, just one formula to be better.
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 18

We must benchmark ourselves against our current self.
Ill tell you a story.

Unlike many of my friends my age, I went through my high
school education overseas, in the UK. And while the
opportunity equipped me with so much knowledge, so many
experiences, it deprived me of one thing:
I didnt have SPM Bahasa Malaysia.
When I came back to Malaysia, not having the high school
certificate of Bahasa Malaysia limited the choices of
universities I could go to. And I knew, if I didnt sit for SPM
Bahasa Malaysia soon, it would also eventually limit the jobs I
could apply for after I graduate.
I wont talk about how badly butchered my Bahasa Malaysia
was after living in the UK for four years. Suffice to say that my
friends often laughed at me with tears streaming down their
faces because my Bahasa was so bad. I recall one memory of
my friend falling on the floor, laughing, because my language
was so bad. But anyway.
In the second year of my degree, I decided that I was brave
enough to register for SPM Bahasa Malaysia, so I did. I was
twenty years old. The last formal education I had for Bahasa
Malaysia was when I was in primary school, Standard 6, eight
years prior. So, alone, with no tutor, no tuition, no teacher, no
knowledge of the exam format, no clear idea on what to do and
how to do it, balancing my degree at the same time as the
exam, I prepared myself.
I studied like heck.
Note: SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) is the high school exam certificate in Malaysia,
equivalent to GCSE/O-Level in the UK. Its the compulsory exam to take before
applying for college or university. Bahasa Malaysia is Malay Language.
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I didnt worry about what my friends scored when they sat the
exam. All I knew was that Bahasa Malaysia was my weak spot,
and I wanted to score a C for my SPM. I was an A-student, but
I didnt even aim for that. I wanted desperately to get a C.
People started telling me I was aiming too low. That I should
aim for an A or a B. Our typical education system have us
believe that if we dont score As, were not good enough but
I soldiered through. Getting an A wasnt as important to me as
improving my language command overall.
Long story short, I sat for the exam. And the morning when I
was waiting for my results, several friends of mine waited with
me, nervous to get the news.
The clock ticked.
I was getting increasingly nervous.

Then the SMS came in.
I scored a B.

There was an important lesson that I learned from the
experience which I hold onto until now.
For the first time, I was truly clear of my aim: to be better than
what I currently was, regardless of where others were in that
race.
It didnt matter to me that most of my friends scored As. I
scored a B, and to me, that was an accomplishment in being
better with my command over the language. I wasnt studying
for the grades. I was studying to improve my language
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 20

command. I didnt take the exam to prove my abilities. I took
the exam to chart my life forward.
It made me realize that when we struggle to be better, what
matters is not how we are compared to others. What matters is
how we are compared to our former selves.
We cannot reach perfect.
But we can always reach being better.

When we aim to improve ourselves, our only comparison
should be ourselves.
We can look at others for inspiration. We can look at them as
set goals; that we want to be like them.
But when we work on developing ourselves, our only goal
should always be to be better than who we currently are.
That way, we will never fail. We will keep on moving forward.
Even if we make mistakes and end up taking two steps
backwards, we know that we just need to take another three
steps to move forward again.

Imagine life as a race.
Only were not racing against anyone else. Were just racing
against ourselves.
Were at the starting line. The horn blows. Then off we go.
Some of us sprint. They go so far ahead of us that we know for
sure wed never catch up with that kind of drive and stamina.
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Some of us run steadily, at a set pace.
Some of us jog.
Some of us walk.
Some of us crawl.
Some of us will refuse to even race.

Now the interesting thing about this race is that our finish line
is Time.
Time determines when we win.
For the sprinter, if his lifespan is 20 years, then by the time he
dies, he may have reached 100,000km.
For the runner, if his lifespan is 30 years, he may reach
80,000km.
For the jogger, if his lifespan is 40 years, he may reach
60,000km.
For the walker, if his lifespan is 50 years, he may reach
40,000km.
But what about the one who refused to race?
If his lifespan is 100 years, he will still die at 0km.

The thing about lifes race is that we never know how far people
will have gone. The span of their lives may deceive us. We may
believe that people who live longer may have succeeded more
than those who live shorter lives, but thats not true.
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 22

The sprinter, who lives half as long as the jogger, will still have
run almost twice the distance the jogger will have covered.
Looking at our friends, our family, the people we know; we will
never know whether theyre sprinters, joggers, runners.
The only one well be able to know is ourselves.
So look into our hearts. Where are we in lifes race?

This is why we must always benchmark only on our current
selves.
When we judge ourselves, judge ourselves based on who we
were yesterday.
How much distance have we covered? How much farther have
we moved?
Or have we not moved at all?

The thing about lifes race is that we determine our own
finishing line.
We are also in control of how fast we want to move.
There are times when we can sprint. There are times when the
terrain is so rough, we stumble and fall.
Weakened, hurt, exhausted, we continue the race on our hands
and knees, crawling and crying and bleeding.
But we will still move forward.

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CHAPTER 4: WHEN VERY BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO US

I remember going to a seminar, and someone stood up to ask
the speaker a question. She asked:
Whats your opinion about girls who have been raped? Or
babies that were dumped and left to die? Why do such bad
things happen to them? Whats the purpose of having these
things happen in this world?
And the speaker, a woman I respect very, very deeply, paused
to gather her thoughts before answering. And she said this.

She said
The bad things that happen to people are not as important or
impactful as how they deal with it. In life, if we were to look at
bad things happening, the span of time of it happening is
actually just a few moments, like a bad dream.
In the afterlife, when people talk to each other, they ask, How
long did you live on Earth?
And the other person would say, A day, maybe half a day.
In terms of span of time, how long is a traumatic experience?
Half a day? Maybe a quarter of a day, if even that. Realistically,
maybe one or two hours, or even less than that.
If we live for seventy years, and something traumatic happens
to us for two or three hours in our lives
In the afterlife, if seventy years only translates to feeling like a
day, or half a day, then the two or three hours of traumatic
experience we went through would only be seconds. Moments.
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 24

Like a bad dream.
And we are left with all the remaining time in the world to move
on from that dream.

Life is peppered with trials and tribulations.
Nobody will ever live without facing trials in his/her life.
It doesnt mean our trials are easy. It doesnt mean its fair. It
doesnt mean it didnt hurt, or that it didnt leave us broken.
But it does mean that its to be expected, and as we grow older
and move farther, well keep on facing one trial after another.
The question is: for trials which last for seconds, moments if
considered in the context of the afterlife, how deeply will we let
it affect us? How much will we let it break us?
In one day, if we pricked our finger against a needle, the pain
will probably last for a few painful seconds. Will we allow the
prick of a needle let our day spiral downwards, casting us into
depression?
Or will we mourn over our wounds for a few seconds, then
move on?

They say that life is 10% of what happens to us, and 90% how
we react to it.
When we are running that race against Time, there will be times
when we struggle against the harder terrains. When there are
rocks everywhere, when the ground is uneven, when the wind
blows too harshly or the sun is too hot, we will struggle to keep
on running at a steady pace.
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The question is whether we want to continue struggling, or stop
moving altogether.
When facing traumatic experiences, do we want to stay put?
Are we happy there? At the rough terrain where its hot, where
there is no water, where the harsh wind bites our cheeks, do
we want to stop running and say This is it. Im going to stop
here, and wait for Time to take my life. This is my finish line.?
Or are we going to slow down, but keep on moving?
Bad things are not everlasting, just as good things are never
everlasting.

Indeed, the only constant thing in life is change.
So things will change. If we keep on moving towards the right
direction.
Slowly, slowly, things will change. Just keep moving forward. If
you stop, then youll know for sure things will never change.
Like not knowing how to read the Quran.
If you moan about it, and decide to stop there, youll know for
sure youll never be able to read the Quran.
But if you move slowly? Start learning the alphabets? Then how
to pronounce? Then how to link the letters together? Then the
words?
Slowly, slowly, youll know for sure youll be able to read the
Quran one day, if God wills it. If Time wins, then at least you
know you died travelling towards it.

m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 26

Get up.
Continue moving.
Never stop just because life is at its harder parts.
Change will come. Change always come. What determines
whether its a positive change, or a negative change, is our own
attitude and choice.
After all, even happiness is a choice.















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CHAPTER 5: WE ARE ALWAYS READY

I have a friend who has a health condition, to do with the nerves
in her right arm. She is incapable of writing. Or twisting tight
bottle caps. Shes in and out of hospital. From time to time,
shell be in pain. Real pain. Pain that makes her unable to
move, that will render her unconscious. Once it also affected
her memory for a while, so shed wake up at times not
remembering certain people, or certain events.
One evening, we wanted to have dinner outside, so we drove
to a restaurant about ten minutes from her rented house. On
our way back, she had an attack. I sat beside her, at the back
of the car, holding her, while her housemates went to search
for her pills, but we couldnt find it. We couldnt move her either.
So we could only sit and wait for it to pass.
The pain was bad enough that she was rendered unconscious.
And, because of the pain, she woke up again. And will faint
again. And the process continues.
Throughout it all, I wondered will something happen to her?
Will I find my friend dying in my arms?
To close the story, my friend was fine that night. But the health
condition will stay with her until God-only-knows when. The
point I want to make by telling this story is that even with this
kind of trial facing her, she never gives up. Shes one of the
sprinters. And I have the utmost, deepest level of respect for
her.
To date, she is one of the most successful students I know,
academically. She studies far, she studies high. Her faith is
strong, as well as her courage and character. She did not let
the trial bring her down.
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 28

Through her, I learned one profound truth: whether we believe
we can, or whether we believe we cant were always right.

There will always be people who doubt our capabilities.
Even more often, there will always be moments when we doubt
our own strength to get through the trials and tribulations of life.
But the beauty is that we determine our own strength,
steadfastness, and patience.
We choose how we want to go through the things we face.

It has been promised to us that we are never given a burden
that our shoulders cannot carry.
Our past experiences have prepared us for what we are facing
today. It is different to the tests we face in school.
In school, we are taught the answers, then given the test.
Whether we prepared ourselves for the exam or not is our
choice, our attitude, and will determine how our marks will be
when the exam results come out.
In life, we are prepared first. Then we are given the test, with
the answers in our hand. We are given the Quran, the Hadith
we are given people more knowledgeable than us whom we
can refer to. The only thing preventing our success is our
choices, our attitudes.

Since I started working just a little more than a year ago, every
day, I would drive past a new housing area which includes a
new mosque.
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Every day, for the past year and a half, I watched as they built
that mosque, bit by bit.
First laying its foundations. Then structuring, bit by bit. Day by
day, I drove past and took note of the little additions, the little
changes of this beautiful mosque thats being built.
Of course, for someone who looks at development day by day,
I didnt really notice the changes. I didnt notice when the
foundations turned into bricks. When bricks turned into walls.
When walls turned into a solid structure. When the solid
structure became increasingly beautiful.
But there were times when Id take my sisters out, and when
we drive past, theyd exclaim in wonder. Wow! So much new
development! Its so pretty! theyd say delightedly as I drive
past.
And Id realize that for them, who never see the day-to-day
work, its like from nothing, the mosque just became
something.

Life is like that. Like building blocks.
When we admire people for their knowledge, wisdom,
capabilities, we have the tendency to forget the thousands of
hours put into achieving those things.
We then get frustrated with ourselves when we cant achieve
something fast enough.
That it takes too much time.
But time is needed for us to get somewhere. Everyone needs
to start from alphabets. Everyone needs to start from the
m a i s a r a h a h m a d k a m i l | 30

bottom, learning slowly, moving painfully, to get to where we
want.

We may not notice what we go through day by day. But as a
few months pass, or as a year passes, if we keep on enduring,
keep on working, then well begin to see that something has
changed.
We will have learned more. We will have gained more.
Collectively, the building blocks would have turned into a
structure, into a beautiful mosque, that took your time and effort
to make it happen.
We are always ready to face trials.
We are always ready to move ahead.
We just need to realize that.









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CHAPTER 6: LIVE BRAVELY, LIVE WITHOUT FEAR

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never
hurt me.
Is the idiom above familiar?
We hear it all the time, especially in arguments and fights.
It is a brave idiom, which says that words never hurt.
And to those who are able to say the idiom above and mean it,
I respect you for your strength.

Words hurt.
In fact, the idiom above exists because psychologically, words
can hurt even more than sticks and stones.
We may not realize it at times, but there are moments,
instances, where we even hurt ourselves with words.

If.
Two letters that makes up the most dangerous word in the
English language.
Other words like if include should, could, would in English
grammar, we call these past-conditional forms of an auxiliary
verb.
In present tense, should, could and would are shall, can
and will. And the present tense of these words are not as
dangerous as its past tense counterparts.
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Why?
Its because the past tense forms deal with what did not
happen.
It could have been like this.
It should have been like that.
I would have done this instead.
Then comes the dangerous word, if.

If I had done this instead, things would be better.
If she had improved sooner, things could have been different.
If he didnt say what he did, the problem would have settled by
now.
If, if, if.
And we constantly dwell on if.
The more we dwell on it, the more we refuse to move on, to
accept reality as it is. And this is dangerous, because even as
we dwell, Time is moving.

Through using these words, we hurt ourselves.
We refuse to let ourselves move on, to accept what has
happened and continue going ahead.
When we make mistakes, we dwell on things that we could
have done, things we should have said, things that we would
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do. We hurt ourselves, blaming ourselves for things that
happened.

Our lives are 90% of how we react to the 10% of what happens
to us. Its important to remember that we live our own lives
our race is our own, and our reactions are also our own.
But that doesnt mean the 10% is not crucial to us.
Every action that we do sends a ripple across the universe that
affects those around us. Whether intentional or not, our actions
or lack of action affects those around us.
And so, those around us react in response to the ripples we
send to them.
In return, we react back.
And the cycle continues.
We are never independent from the world. Rather, we are so
dependent, so intertwined and linked, that we must always be
cautious and wary of the actions and inactions that we take.

The point is that, because we are not independent from this
world, the things that happen to us are often beyond our
control.
We are only capable of controlling a small portion of what
happens to us.
The rest are left to how the ripples we send intermingle with the
ripples sent by others.
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So when something bad happens, or when we take an action
and the results are not exactly what we hoped for, we have the
tendency to dwell on what we could have done better. What
could have been different.
When in fact, the outcome of our actions are not completely
within our control.

Recognising that life will not turn out 100% the way we want it
to be is the first step towards accepting the imperfect reality
around us.
In an ideal world, we may put in all our effort into achieving
something, and as a result, we will obtain what we are working
for.
But in this world, in our world, no matter how much effort we
put into something, we may not get what we want.

There are two ways of looking into this matter.

The first way, is to live in fear.
We fear stepping out of our comfort zone, because exposing
ourselves and putting effort into something big may result in
failure, and we fear failure because it hurts.
This lack of action due to fear, is exactly what we want to avoid.
Ill explain why.
We believe that if we dont get what we want, that outcome is
bad, so we refuse to even allow life to give that chance of
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giving us that bad outcome. Between getting what we want,
and not getting what we want, we choose not to get what we
want, because we fear we wont get what we want. Get it?
For example, I want to publish my book. And that requires
sending my book to a publisher.
Two things can happen. Either I get published, or I get rejected.
But out of fear that I may be rejected, I decide not to send my
book at all. I dont move forward I just stay where I am.

The other option, is to live bravely.
I send my book to my publisher, and will either be accepted, or
rejected.
If I get accepted, then all is well. My book would be published,
and I will have gotten what I wanted.
If I get rejected, I will get hurt. But I will also know where I stand,
and will work on moving on from the hurt.

You know what the difference is between the two?
Its the fact that ten, twenty, thirty years down the line, if I chose
to live bravely and try, I would never need to ask myself what
if.
I would never wonder what the outcome would be, because I
already know.


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If we could hear those who are lying in their graves, what would
we hear?
Wed hear them desperately asking for one more chance to
pray.
One more chance to do good.
One more chance to reap rewards.

Our race is against Time.
Because our time is very, very limited.
So stop staying put at that line, and move your feet forward.
Even if youre moving slowly. Do not fear what life will give you.
Whether they give you what you want, or whether they give you
what you dont want, remember that He has promised us:
We will always get what we need.
And whatever happens to us, it will always be the best thing
that is supposed to happen to us.





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CHAPTER 7: BECOME THE BEST OF OUR SELVES

Let's change our mindset. Let's change the way we say things,
the way we see things.

Instead of saying anti-war, say we're pro-peace.
Instead of saying anti-global warming, say we're pro-going
green.
Instead of saying anti-corruption, say we're pro-transparency.
Instead of saying we don't want to fail, say we want to succeed.
Instead of saying we don't want to be late, say we want to be
early.
Instead of saying we don't want to be alone, say we want to
meet our special someone.

The way we say things make a difference. A big difference.
What we say is what we ask for.
Say the word fail, that's what we ask for. Say the word rape,
murder, war, corruption; that's what we're asking for, even if we
put 'don't want' or 'anti' or 'no' in front of it.
So lets say what we want instead. Say we want safety, peace,
richness, happiness.
Let's change the way we say things. Together, we'll change the
world.
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The best of our selves are capable of accepting that we are
perfectly imperfect, living in a perfectly imperfect world.
The best of our selves are capable of accepting that our bodies,
vessels which shield our souls, come with limitations. We will
get tired. We will fall ill. We will grow old, and we will eventually
die. The best of our selves, will never deny that fact.
With the constraints that we face, the best of our selves will
constantly strive forwards. Whether running or walking, jogging
or crawling, well constantly take one step forward after
another.
We are not fearful. We trust the promises that has been made
to us by our Creator, and we hold onto those promises.
The best of our selves are aware that life come with trials.
Sometimes, the trials are small, almost unnoticeable.
Sometimes, the trials are traumatic, capable of crippling our
strength and faith.
The best of our selves, however, know that life has already
prepared us to face those trials. Not only has it prepared us for
it it also gave us the answers in our hands, so we are always
carrying answers while answering the trial.
The best of our selves will not despair, because we know, for
sure, that we will always get what is best for us.

The best of our selves will know that as long as we keep on
striving, we will be okay.
When bad things happen to us, its okay to feel down. Its okay
to cry, to moan, to feel sad. Its okay to be weak.
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Its okay to make mistakes. Even if we hurt the people we love,
its okay.
Because were not meant to be perfect, its to be expected that
we will stumble and fall.
But its okay.
As long as we keep on moving forwards.

The best of us are always kind to ourselves.
We forgive ourselves, and we forgive others.
We give charity, and we smile to spread happiness.
We do our best, even if others do better than us.

Stripped away of all the things we hide behind, the illusion of
what we think we 'have' or 'possess': money, fame, class,
family, friends
If all that is taken away and we're finally left exposed, just us,
and God
Let us be the best of our selves.





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