Topics to Avoid

There are some topics you should probably avoid.

Some are simply bad topics that are inappropriate for
college applications. Others are extremely popular
and have been written and read thousands of times
before. You are best of avoiding the following:
Your relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
Your religious beliefsunless you!re applying to a
college with a strong religious orientation.
Your conservative "or any other# political views.
The evils of drugs. They are evil$ but essays tend to
sound contrived.
Your SAT scores. %ever ever mention your scores no
matter how good or bad they are.
Any topic that doesn!t appeal to you but that you
thin& will appeal to an admission o'cer. They
have built in phoniness alarms.
Anything that will ma&e the reader$ who might be a
grandmotherly type$ blush or be embarrassed.
Anything that will reveal that you are a poor college
prospectsuch as how you hate to study.
(ig or general ideas about how you will help the
world live together in peace and harmony. Stic&
with details.
Any topic that draws attention to your academic
wea&nesses.
)ow you saw very poor but very happy people on
an *nterim trip and reali+ed how ,luc&y- they are
or you are.
)ow you helped the team win the big game.
Anything that ma&es it sound li&e you!re going to
college for the sole purpose of learning how to
ma&e a lot of money.
Any topic speci.cally mentioned as a great essay
topic in one of those how/to/get/into/college
boo&s. Several thousand other students read the
same boo& and will write on the same topic.
Terrible Opening Sentences
The following would be unwise to use as opening
sentences for a college essay "borrowed from the
0ashington 1ost#:
0hen * told my friends * was applying to
0hatsamatta 2$ they were$ li&e$ no way$ and *
was$ li&e$ yes way. And they were$ li&e$ way cool.
And * was$ li&e . . .
3y mother has probably already written to you$
spreading her lies.
* am a vegetarian and all * demand is that any
vegetable * eat be pureed or .nely chopped so it
in no way resembles its original self before it was
murdered. * am sure your dining hall . . .
4irst of$ coach said there wasn5t going to be no
writing. *f * have accidentally sealed this
envelope with cash inside$ well$ .nder5s &eepers6
*5m grounded until * complete this application. So
here goes . . .
(ecause my girlfriend is applying to your school
"actually$ she is not really my girlfriend yet$
since * have not spo&en to her$ but * &now
everything she does# * have decided . . .
To demonstrate my love for your school$ * have
spray/painted your logo on my town5s water
tower.
* study the 7nglish since two annuals$ so can right
the many pages insuing with no di'cult.
* do not ta&e drugs$ drin&$ smo&e$ read
pornography$ eat fatty foods$ watch T8$ spea&$
bathe . . .
9ollege is probably the last place they5ll loo& for
me$ so . . .
Stardate :;<=>?. @ear StarAeet Academy . . .
@ear 3orty: * am sending you this e/mail while
ta&ing a brea& from .lling out State 25s online
application form$ which was obviously designed
by idiots . . .
Sure$ lots of &ids li&e to start .res$ but how many of
them have a propane torch$ gallons of
accelerants and a bas&et of dry rags . . .
This is Shanda writing$ one of the =: personalities
possessed by 7llen Burt+$ who is the nominal
applicant for admission.
. . . among the many things that are the result of
imperialism racism and &apitalism are standard
pun&tuation grammar and spelling which all
serve to put the entire human race into a
sausage machine . . . .
)ow5s about * write page CD= of YO2E
autobiography: FAfter Aun&ing out of medical
school$ Bermit @owling decides to pursue a
career in college admissions . . . .F