SHADOWFIGHTER

written by
Sean Wu
diggswu@gmail.com

FADE IN:
INT. BACKSTAGE/DRESSING ROOM - EVENING
A bulky man (mid-40's) wearing what appears to be only
underwear sits facing a mirror. He is applying some make-up
to himself. He is CRASH MCGRATH. A voice on the other side of
his closed door calls to him.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
Hey Crash! You've got five minutes.
You ready?
CRASH MCGRATH
Yea, yea. I'll be out soon.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
Good. The crowd's ready and rowdy.
Crash looks at himself in the mirror. He then starts punching
his face.
CRASH MCGRATH
(whispering to himself
between hits)
Coulda been a contender, coulda
been a contender.
A mischievous voice eerily similar to his own yaps behind
him.
VOICE (O.S.)
Whatcha think you're doing...
(beat)
Champ?
Crash lands a punch on his cheek-
CRASH MCGRATH
Fuck off.
-and another on the other cheek.
VOICE (O.S.)
Gladly.
Crash turns around. All he sees is a person-sized shadow
(CRASH'S SHADOW).
CRASH MCGRATH
Where are you?
2.
CRASH'S SHADOW
I'm in your head.
CRASH MCGRATH
Haul your ass out then! I've got a
big fight soon and you being in my
head isn't gonna help!
CRASH'S SHADOW
Can't you remember? Remember when
the ref said that this match is
staged in your favor?
CRASH MCGRATH
Go away.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Gee, telling yourself to go away.
You know that's not a bad idea!
CRASH MCGRATH
Go away.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Did you know repeating it to
yourself is only gonna make you
believe in it that much more.
Crash stands up and throws his chair to where the shadow is,
but it creeps away just in time.
CRASH'S SHADOW (CONTD)
I've been living with you for more
than forty years, but you've never
been such a buffoon!
CRASH MCGRATH
You've been with me my whole life?
CRASH'S SHADOW
(sarcastically)
No, actually you were Peter Pan for
a year before I came. Who the hell
doesn't have a shadow?
CRASH MCGRATH
Look, fucko, I'm this close to
beating your holographic ass
against the wall.
CRASH'S SHADOW
I'd like to see you try.
3.
Crash exerts all possible force from his fist against the
hard wall of the dressing room. It goes through his shadow.
CRASH'S SHADOW (CONTD)
Hey, you hurt me!
CRASH MCGRATH
Good. Better that way.
CRASH'S SHADOW
You know what? You hurt me on the
outside, but I bet you're hurting
harder on the inside.
CRASH MCGRATH
I feel good. Thanks for being my
punching bag. Now piss off.
CRASH'S SHADOW
I've been your closest amigo since
birth! You can't just say that when
you meet an old friend for the
first time!
CRASH MCGRATH
You heard me.
Crash starts applying tape to his arm.
CRASH'S SHADOW
(comedic spooky)
Crashy McGrath, I remember
everything. Everything...
Crash hums to himself.
CRASH'S SHADOW (CONTD)
I remember when you fell asleep on
the school bus and no one woke you
up so you were at the district
building for half of the school
day.
CRASH MCGRATH
I can't hear you!
CRASH'S SHADOW
(louder)
I remember when you didn't know how
to masturbate until you were 17-
4.
CRASH MCGRATH
(angrily)
Hey! Why don't you shut up before I
hurt you even more?
CRASH'S SHADOW
-so everyday after school you would
rub Johnson so hard but nothing
came out-
CRASH MCGRATH
Does the whole world have to hear
that?
CRASH'S SHADOW
It's all in your head, don't worry.
CRASH MCGRATH
(to himself)
Hey Brain. I've beaten you to a
pulp many times, I'm sorry for
that. But can you please tell
American Horror Story behind me to
stop running his mouth and run
away?
CRASH'S SHADOW
No can do pal. That's not how your
head works.
CRASH MCGRATH
I don't need to hear anything else
from you.
CRASH'S SHADOW
You should know this! Remember
college? You were gonna study
psychology!
Crash stops circling tape.
CRASH MCGRATH
I was on a sports scholarship.
CRASH'S SHADOW
But you were smart! You knew your
stuff! Why'd you let it all go?
CRASH MCGRATH
D'you think I'm not happy? I'm
Crash McGrath, bitch!
5.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Do you think it was because you
didn't think you were good?
CRASH MCGRATH
If you're gonna tell me that I
fucked up my life, then you're
wrong.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Is it because you didn't like it?
(beat)
Or is it because you didn't think
you fit in?
CRASH MCGRATH
I am successful and famous, thank
you very much.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Do you like what you do?
CRASH MCGRATH
Do I like being an icon? Yes, who
wouldn't?
CRASH'S SHADOW
Are you happy?
CRASH MCGRATH
Not with you around.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Are you happy?
CRASH MCGRATH
Are you still hurting?
CRASH'S SHADOW
Are you happy?
Crash snaps. In his anger, he picks up the chair and throws
it at the shadow. He misses. The shadow creeps in front of
the dressing room mirror. Crash picks up the chair and throws
it at the mirror, SHATTERING it. The shadow tries to creep
away, but the glass shards have it pinned to the counter that
was in front of the mirror.
CRASH MCGRATH
It doesn't take much to weigh down
a shadow, huh?
6.
CRASH'S SHADOW
I guess it doesn't take much to
piss you off, huh?
CRASH MCGRATH
Go away.
CRASH'S SHADOW
I'd do that if I were you. But hey,
what do I know? I'm just an old
demon that's followed you close for
far too long.
CRASH MCGRATH
Are you happy?
CRASH'S SHADOW
Me? No. Not at all. Do you know
what it's like to see you hurt?
CRASH MCGRATH
What do you mean? Like me in the
ring? That's my way of life, it's
what makes me money, it's what
makes me proud.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Yea, but I know you don't like it.
CRASH MCGRATH
It hurts on the outside, but inside
it's all endorphins.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Couldn't you find a way to live
happily?
CRASH MCGRATH
Jesus. This is what they call a
midlife crisis, isn't it?
CRASH'S SHADOW
You can take your fifteen minutes
of pain, but go away with me now,
and I'm gonna help you turn your
life around.
CRASH MCGRATH
Why should I go with you?
7.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Because you've ignored me and my
voice your whole life, and now look
where you are. In this dumpy
dressing room.
The backstage voice beckens.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
Crash, is everything okay back
there?
CRASH MCGRATH
Yea.
(beat)
Yea.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
I heard some noise. You sure?
CRASH MCGRATH
Yea. It's good.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
The last fight went a little long.
I'll get you in a minute.
CRASH MCGRATH
Okay.
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
I've got my money on you. Kill it.
Crash starts unrolling the tape.
CRASH MCGRATH
You're right. I hate this. Seedy,
sweaty wrestling.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Don't you know you're past your
prime?
CRASH MCGRATH
Yea. C'mon, let's go.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Well Crash?
CRASH MCGRATH
Yea?
8.
CRASH'S SHADOW
All this glass is stabbing and
weighing me down. Brush it off me,
will ya?
Crash picks up his shadow.
CRASH'S SHADOW (CONTD)
Thanks. I'm going back where I
belong. Before I go, why're you
being so nice to me now?
CRASH MCGRATH
I can only hurt myself for so long.
CRASH'S SHADOW
Alright. Don't let me down once I'm
done talking.
CRASH MCGRATH
Of course. I can't do that to
myself anymore.
Crash's shadow disappears. As Crash puts on his shirt and
pants he hears...
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
(enthusiastically)
C'mon out Crash! You're on!
CRASH MCGRATH
I'll be outta here soon!
BACKSTAGE VOICE (O.S.)
Okay. The audience is jacked.
Crash, now fully dressed and out of wrestling clothes, stands
up and opens the door.
CUT TO BLACK: