FACULTY OF EDUCATION AND LANGUAGE

SMP PPG MAY 2014

OUMH1303


ENGLISH FOR ORAL COMMUNICATION











NAME : ALICIUS LUCAS
MATRICULATION NO : 780926125297-001
IDENTITY CARD NO. : 780926125297
TELEPHONE NO. : 019-8003700
E-MAIL : aliciuslucas@yahoo.com
LEARNING CENTRE : SANDAKAN LEARNING CENTRE
TUTOR : MR. JEFFRY NICHOLAS





OUMH1303
1

1.0 INTRODUCTION

Thanks to the chairman of the council. Good morning and welcome to the parents
and all the guests. I thank the organizers for the opportunity to give a talk about the
characteristics needed to be a good parent. I believe that many among us who are in this
hall are a mother and a father. I myself was a father of three children, just like you all.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Before I begin my speech today, I would like to ask some questions to you all.
What is the meaning of good parent? What are the characteristics of a good parent? Are
we a good parent to our children at home? All these question need to be answer by you.
Your honest answer will determine whether you are good parent or not.

Ladies and gentlemen,
At present, the responsibility to be a good parent is not as easy as it looks. The
situation is different when compared to the previous period due to the influence of mass
media and foreign cultures remained at a level not alarming. The advent of technologies
such as Internet and entertainment media as well as social media such as facebook,
weechat and many others have changed the way of life of children and youth.

As noted by some of us, been a good parent is not an easy task. Although there
are no specific rules about parenting, there are some helpful tips that can help parents
through the days ahead to educate their children be a useful, responsible and have the
attributes and admirable moral values.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Being a parent can be one of the most valuable and rewarding and satisfaction in
our lives. However, it does not mean the duties and responsibilities of being a parent are
easy. To be a good parent, we need to know how to make our children feel appreciated
and loved, and to teach them to distinguish the good and bad things. At the end, the most
important thing is to create a favourable environment for our children to grow and have


OUMH1303
2

the confidence, self-reliant, and have caring properties. In this assignment, I wanted to
share my experience with you about the characteristics of a good parent.

Ladies and gentlemen,
As a parent, what we need is a good background and practical ideas about
parenting. Raising children can be a very valuable experience but at the same time, it also
can be a very tiring load and boring. To be a good parent cannot be learned in a day. It
requires sacrifice, patience, determination, and commitment to continuous improvement.
Raising children is not an easy task and can be considered lightly. What we need is a
sustained effort to improve ourselves in order to become better parents.


1.1 Parenting via reading, observation and through own experience
Ladies and gentlemen,
No one here was born with parenting skills. We learned about parenting by
reading, observation of older people, and through our own experiences. During the
process of growing up, little by little we started learning about responsibility as a parent. I
myself, as a child often asked by my mother to take care of my sisters the other while she
went out to work. There are certain times I have to do household chores like cooking,
laundry and house cleaning. All the work was a good experience for me to be a good
father.

Ladies and gentlemen,
At present, a lot of magazines and books related to parenting sold in bookstores. I
found that most young parents or those who soon will become parents are aware and to
adopt reading as a source of reference for parenting. Magazines and parenting books that
are easily available in bookstore become one of our source references to become good
parent. This situation is an excellent development for our community as reading is not
only a good habit but also can be a good example to our child.




OUMH1303
3

1.2 Be a good listener.
Ladies and gentlemen,
As humans, we communicate the whole time. Gestures, facial expressions, body
language and eye contact all speak as loudly as our words. We should be expert, but
communicating with our own children can be minefield. Firstly, we need to accept that
this is part of their quest for freedom. They are changing into adult and are trying to
develop their own picture of word and their place in it. Whilst you are crucial to this
process, you must accept their view of you as having a supporting role at best. It can be
hard, when you have been at the centre of your childs life, to suddenly find yourself
marginalized, but during the teenage years, you child needs you to listen twice as much
as talk. They will use you as a sounding board, sometimes making crass pronouncement
seemingly designed to shock you. Actually, the children is testing you out not in a
calculated sense, but rather they is checking that them is safe so they can talk to we about
anything without fear of being judged.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to share Sabina, Peter & Lynn (2013) opinion about become
parenting. On their books, they mention that despite the bravado and the protestations,
our teenage children still need our support and understanding. There are steps you can
take easier to communicate with your child. Try them out, and minimize the door
slamming, tears and sulking. Perhaps, most importantly, you must your own hang-ups.
Works through the things that make you feel awkward, discussing them with your partner
or close friend. This could mean relationship, feelings or risky behaviour. Once you feel
more comfortable discussing these things generally, you will be better equipped to
discuss them comfortable with your children, with an open mind.








OUMH1303
4

1.3 Avoid arguments
Ladies and gentlemen,
According to psychological research, while the child is a teenager and then an
adult, they always rebel soul. They are more likely to resist the advice we as their parents.
Their attitude is always against our will is a normal thing for a child is a teenager. We as
parents should not over-react to fine them. Good parents are always trying to understand
and reach out to their children. Lead them to control the rebellious soul. We can take
different approaches to address them. Adapt your parenting to fit your child. Keep pace
with your child's development. Your child is growing up. Consider how age is affecting
the child's behaviour.

Ladies and gentlemen,
There are certain times we may have different views with our spouse. Differences
of view can often lead to conflict. Good parents would not quarrel in front of the kids.
Avoid arguing in front of children because this can be a bad example for them. Solve the
conflicts that arise in a kind way.


1.4 Spend some times with children.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Due to very busy work schedule it is difficult for us to spend time with children.
Some of us are left with no option other than appointing full-time maids to take care of
their child. However, nothing can replace the love and care with which parents nurture
their children. It is very obvious that each and every parent loves and cares for their child
a lot. However, it needs to be expressed by spending some time with the child.

Ladies and gentlemen,
We can spend time with our children by many ways. One of them is by having
dinner with them. Even if you are not there at home for whole day, you should make sure
that you have dinner with your children. Moreover, you should make it a point that you
are have dinner with your entire family. Also, you should be sure that you avoid watching


OUMH1303
5

television. when you are having dinner with your family. You may even take your
children out for dinner during the weekends. It will help you to spend a good amount of
time with your family.

Ladies and gentlemen,
These days all children take tuitions for completing their homework and other
studies. However, it will help us to know how well our child is at his or her studies by
helping her or her in completing homework. It is not that we have to spend hours
regularly helping our child with homework. At the same time due to busy work
schedule it is impossible. But, sometimes we can assist our child in resolving some
queries related to studies for which he or she is not able to get help form tuition teacher.
We will get to spend time with your child as well as get to know about his or her studies.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Taking our child on picnics and holidays is very important and very good for
spending time with them. Each and every parent who is working needs a break. Parents
can take a break when their children have winter or summer holidays. Parents can plan a
good vacation with their entire family, which will help them to have a great time with
children as well as entire family. Our support and time is important for our child during
his or her childhood. As the time flies, we will realise that the time spent with child will
be one of the precious moments of our life. Therefore, do not miss this chance of
capturing these precious moments of parenting.


1.5 Praise our children
Ladies and gentlemen,
As parents, we have become addicted to praising our kids. But as we try to make
them feel good about themselves, we actually may be harming them. When you applaud
your child for things that aren't true achievements, she or he will begin to expect praise
all the time, which diminishes its power. As Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer, author of Praising


OUMH1303
6

Boys Well and Praising Girls Well say, over praising a child can get her hooked on
success and celebration instead of being satisfied by her own accomplishment.

Ladies and gentlemen,
It is important to give encouragement in a genuine way, as your children will be
able to sniff out phoney praise a mile off even when given with the best intentions.
Dont go over the top and make sure you praise something specific. For example, if your
daughter is normally quick to fight with her brother, but manages to hold back when he
borrows her CDs without asking, you could praise her for her behaviour saying
something along the lines of, hey that was great. I was really impressed when you
didnt shout at your brother for his thoughtless behaviour. Notice and thank your
children when they do a chore. Even though it is an accepted that it is one of your chores
but it still feels great to be thanked for making a lovely meal. It is the same for your
children with their chores.

Make sure you notice if your children are putting in a lot of study time and trying
harder than usual at school. We are quick enough to point out when our children are not
studying enough so the reverse should be true too. Incidentally, this raises an important
point. Dont save praise for achievements through they are of course worthy of praise.
It is more important to praise attitude and effort.

Ladies and gentlemen,
You need to find a way of offering praise and encouragement to your children on
a regular, everyday basis. If you tie them into the idea that praise is only given when they
achieve great grades, it may increase the stress they already feel and put them under even
more pressure. As a mother, if you are not used to giving praise and encouragement
freely, you may find it difficult at first particularly if you are having difficulties with
your children. But being positive and noticing even her small efforts could be enough to
stop a downward negative spiral of behaviour in its tracks. Give it a go you have
everything to gain.



OUMH1303
7

1.6 Distress or de-stress
Ladies and gentlemen,
Children, in the same way as adult, experience stress every day. Apart from
general large scale source of stress, such as divorce of parents, illness, bereavement and
moving house, children have specific areas that cause immense stress and they occur
largely because they are children. School may be a source of stress, especially around
exam time. As a mother, you can unwittingly increase your childs stress levels by having
expectations that are unreasonable high for them; this can set them up to feel a failure
when they dont achieve the grades you expect. Coursework can also put a strain on
children as they struggle with a large number of examination courses, the coursework and
homework associated. Add to this the demands of extracurricular activities, important
these days, not just for fun, but to build a vitae and college applications.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Your children may also experience stress due to problems with friends and peer
pressure. Children friendship groups can be volatile and capricious and your children
may find themselves being treated as favour of the month one day and then be excluded
from group activities for no apparent reason to the next. This can be crushing, so take it
seriously. Try to remember yourself what it was like when you were a child and you felt
excluded from an activity it hurts. Peer pressure may give them a huge amount of
stress, especially as it comes into conflict with the mores they have grown up with. They
may feel torn as they know that certain behaviour such as drinking, smoking and other
negatives activities. Even when they dont want to take part in an activity, they will be
under pressure to conform and this can be hard to bear for even the strongest minded
children.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Your children will also experience stress due to themselves image. Her body is
undergoing huge charges and that is hard to come to terms with and can cause stress in
itself. Dealing with associated irritations such as spots and acne and sexual development
including the onset of periods can be uniquely stressful. Negative thoughts and low-


OUMH1303
8

image can be a problem for your daughter if she feels that she does not conform to image
of beauty prevalent in the media especially that aimed at teens. If she not willowy, with
clear skin and lustrous hair, she may feel unattractive.

It is easy to see how your children can become overloaded with stress and how it
can take over to the life. If unmanaged, stress can cause depression, aggressive or risky
behaviour and illness. Your children may be unaware of how the stress he or she is
experiencing can affect her behaviour but you will know. You should monitor your
childrens stress levels and try to intervene when necessary. There does seem to be a
gender difference in children dealing with stress. As a mother, you stressed son may
ignore his problem, throwing himself into a fury of sporting or social activities, although
he may identify stress trigger and problems and meet them head on. Your stressed
daughter is more likely to talk about problems with her friends, which can be a great
strategy but if she stress is caused by problems with friendship group, this can cause even
more problems as she may feel isolated and cut off from her usual coping mechanism and
strategies.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Just being aware of the stress trigger your children faces is a great start. Watch for
the signs and keep lines of communication open. Help him or her to work out solutions to
particular problems to alleviate stress and to develop a range of practical coping skills,
such as breaking large tasks into smaller manageable chunks. If they is feeling
overwhelmed by the thought of exams, help them to work out a revision timetable. Is
they is regularly feeling left out by friends, encourage her to develop new friendship
perhaps by joining groups associated with hobbies or interests.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Encourage your children to take exercise and eat regular, nutritious meals. It
sounds like a simplistic response, but it helps. Your children are less likely to feel run
down if they is eating properly and exercise will help to clear their head so they gains
perspective on their problems. They should avoid too much caffeine as this can make


OUMH1303
9

them feel jumpy and agitated. Taking a break from stressful situations by chatting to a
friend on the phone or listening to CDs can help, as can relaxation exercises. Breathing
deeply from her abdomen will help to loosen tight muscles and release tension.

1.7 Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instill in each
child the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child
an inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you
want to help them improve their behavior, talk about meeting their goals on their own
terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbor. This will help them
develop a sense of self instead of having an inferiority complex.

Ladies and gentlemen,
As we mention, comparing one child to another can also make one child develop
a rivalry with his or her sibling. We want to nurture a loving relationship between our
children, not a competitive one. We also need to avoid favoritism or unfair with our
children. Surveys have shown that most parents have favorites, but most children believe
that they are the favorite. If your children are quarreling, don't choose sides, but be fair
and neutral.













OUMH1303
10

CONCLUSION
Ladies and gentlemen,
As a conclusion, I would like to stress than defining a good person can provide
much different definition depending on who you ask. The same is true for trying to define
a good parent. However there are some generalizations of a good parent that are common
among American society. Parents should have a foundation of love where they actually
care about the child. This includes giving attention and showing affection to the child.
Parents must be able to create and sustain a good family environment. Possessing the
resources and capital to be able to support the baby for many years after their birth is just
a small part of this. A good parent should also be a good person. They should be able to
take care of themselves and have the general characteristics of patience, care,
responsibility, and understanding. A good parent is someone who can provide love, life
necessities for their child and themselves.
Ladies and gentlemen,
If a parent does not love their child there is no hope in them being a good parent.
Love is the most essential quality in creating a constructive parent child relationship.
When there is no love present in the parent it will create problems in the child. A strong
foundation based on love is very beneficial in making a good parent, however if the
parent is unable to express their love, and the child does not know their parents love
them, it is useless. Giving the child an adequate amount of attention and showing
affection are two good examples of how a parent can show their child they love them.

That's just my talk today. I hope this talk will give you some knowledge and
insight about being a good parent to their children. Thank you.







OUMH1303
11

REFERENCES

Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer (2006). Praising Boys Well & Praising Girls Well: 100 Tips
for Parents and Teachers. USA

Good Parenting Definition. Downloaded from https://www.wps.k12.va.us/sysinfo/
policies/AB.htm on1 July 2014

How To Be A Good Parent. Downloaded from http://myyoungchild.org/parents/good-
parent/ on 30 June 2014

The Characteristics of a Good Parent. Downloaded from http://www.studymode.com
/essays/The-Characteristics-Of-a-Good-Parents- 190659.html on 24 June 2014

Wiki How. How To Be A Good Parent. Downloaded from http://www.wikihow.com/Be-
a-Good-Parent on 30 June 2014