THE PUMPKIN AND THE NUT

A nation, that hardly is, after having paid lowest priority to education for more than half a
century, is likely to brace leaders that are either, a pumpkin (kadu) or a nut (akhroot). One very apt
quote about them is one (akhroot) does not listen and other (kadu) does not understand. The ongoing
saga of Dharna is in the national interest, as we have been told incessantly. Apparently it has two stake
holders and the third one is visibly invisible, as usual.
After having won the national elections decisively over a year ago comfortably formed
governments at the centre and Punjab on its own with a stable majority. The next major hurdle for the
PML-N was the appointment of the new army chief. Being a pumpkin he must have thought that as the
first hurdle is over now take a step and make a new Army Chief in a manner that surprises every one,
like that poor Captain who said I shall surprise my enemy be renaming my alpha company as delta and
vice versa. But at end of the day, Mr Pumpkin got surprised himself by response he would have got from
the incumbent, as no official version of their private discussions is available.
Where did Mr Pumpkin go wrong? Being a very poor student of history, he never realized that
once a jinnee is locked into a bottle, it serves only the one who unlocks it and at times it does not help
one who unlocks. Like, a poor man who found a bottle which was filled with a jinnee, he opened that
bottle. jinnee once came out asked that man as to what he wants from him in return for giving him
independence. The poor man, very innocently asked for a very well furnished luxurious house, to which,
jinnee replied, idiot had I been that powerful, I would have been locked in that bottle. So that jennies
are Punjab and the religious right.
Realize that Punjabis and Religious Scholars were anti Pakistan, so how did they become the
king makers. The answer is very simple, Punjabis got rid of Bengalis, the real heroes of independence
and then the Religious scholars converted majority seculars Pakistanis through their state backed
process to extremists. Now both these organs were under control of Mr Pumpkin for last two decades as
his main rivals were Sindhis, the anti state leaders. That situation never remains the same; comes the
entry of an already popular man from Punjab, the castle of Punjabi-Mullah started shivering. That is the
entry of Mr Nut, who for a decade stayed a pro western and secular leader. Later on turned his
philosophy for success by getting close to Punjabis by acting more anti US than most of poor Pakistanis
are and reciting Iqbal, the Punjabi scholar who did not surrender his knighthood, though preached
lesson of khudi. Thus Mr Nut started to become the darling of people in power. So that jinnie that
served Mr Pumpkin started showing their support for Mr Nut and The Inqalabi Baba has made a major
dent in the religious domination of Mr Pumpkin. In the final analysis, it is all about battle for Punjab and
may be an effort to create a viable counter force to the extreme Deobandi-AhelHadith faction.
Mr Pumpkin, kept gorging Pais and drinking lasi, never realized that his power base was being
grabbed and an alternative leadership had surfaced. However, like a pigeon, he kept his eyes closed and
was awakened by tabdeli slogans that were being shouted so close to his ears.
Now living in the past, Mr pumpkin thought, if I allow Mr 10% to complete his tenure, I will have
a smooth turn as a reward and thus lost space that was occupied by Mr Nut. Now, that his turn has
come, he is confronted with Mr Nut and not Mr 10%, who is joyfully watching the situation from fence.
The usual incompetence, rigidness and failure to use the limited grey material that nature has
blessed Mr pumpkin with, the situation has gone from normal to worst within 14 months. Not realizing
that Army has regained its political space and respect lost in Musharaf era, he ventured into to
disciplining the beast. The repeatedly quoted incident of Mr Nut about Mr pumpkin, that later wanted
to face West Indian bowling attack without wearing helmet is true reflection of his mindset, though he
was able to save his head that day, but now we can pray for his success only.
Mr pumpkin also thought to use the old age formula of Tarikh Pawa do in resolving the issue
of electoral mess. He did not bother to open his eyes and did not confront situation head on. Sleeping
over issue one day he was woken up from slumber to deal with a situation that could have been solved
much earlier.
Mr pumpkin made two mistakes in dealing with situation. One that he did not realize that he
was dealing with nut that cannot be opened it will only be cracked and he has not that requisite power
to crack it. Second, he did not realize that he is on the opposite side of the hill of popularity from where
he will only go down and will not come back, so had he resolved it earlier he would have done it from
position of strength and not at lower place.
What he can do
Mr pumpkin should have tried to clear the electoral mess in last 14 months, appointment of
independent heads of most of organizations. What he should have tried, lessen power outage time for
poor. Should have made PIA, Railways, Steel Mill and many other organs a profitable organizations.
Should not have ventured into discipling the beast, rather should have made an effort to get closer to
the Beast and should have tried
Mr Nut made a move which a win-win situation for him. He has challenged the strongest man in
Pakistan, true to the psyche of the nation, to every powerful man there must be a counter weight.
Nations liking for Sultan Rahi movies and every ones desire to abuse USA, while knowing we are no
match. Thereby has totally occupied space that Pakistani want someone to occupy. Remember, who was
there to challenge Musharraf before refusal of Ch Iftikhar.
Other reason for his victory is that he is likely to gain more than what he initially demanded at
the end of last elections due to intransigence of Mr Pumpkin.
The psychological victory would be that he will emerge a victim, the most precious icon a
Pakistani leader desires to be, as in any case, Mr Pumpkin is likely to tread backwards and that will be
considered as confession of guilt, that will fully propagated later.
Will electoral reforms are the answer to the progress of this country, NO is the answer and the
questions is WHY. As stated earlier, real battle is for Punjab and religious right. Now even if the electoral
reforms are successful, the party that will win majority in Punjab in next elections will have their say for
future. Now if we take into account the political scenario in the country, PMLN is a majority party in
Punjab only and thus enjoying command in National Assembly as well. Although, all the provincial
assemblies less KPK are in favour of
Way thru Punjab, elections in kpk n punj, kalabagh dam, power devolution