Ivan Santamaria

English 3
Declaration of
Independence from
Social Networks
When, in the course of teenage events, it becomes necessary for one
teenager to dissolve the social networks that have made us self-conceit and
narcissistic, and to assume, among the powers of the internet, the
eradication and decimation needed to which the laws of internet and of the
internets creator entitle them, a decent respect to the brains of teenagekind
requires that they should declare the reason to why twitter, instagram,
tumblr, and facebook kill brain cells
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women crave
attention, that they are willing to do anything for a like, that among these are
fake abs, cake-faces, and over editation -!hat to obtain these likes, social
networks are instituted among teenagers, deriving their crave for attention
from the consent of fellow teens on social networks !hat whenever any
social network meets these freaks, it is the right of a teenager to humiliate or
embarrass them, and to put them "on blast", laying their reason as to why
one deserves to be ashamed and establishing a reason to why a teen must
seperate from social networks in order to have any sense of meaning left in
their brain !o prove this has become an epidemic, let facts be submitted to
the world wide spider web for social networks
Social #etworks has plundered our train of thought, ravaged our minds,
burnt our brain cells, and ruined our love life because a sel$e looks good until
you meet them in person
%or dropping cellular devices on our face as we lay in bed at night scrolling
down twitter
%or depriving us in many cases, of the bene$t of having a life
%or wasting our time reading about someone elses boring life
%or imposing addiction to our phones without our consent
Social #etworks has made us believe we are talking to girls but really its a
boy and vice versa
We, therefore, the &epresentatives of the united teens who still are not
narcissistic, in a general congress, assembled, appealing to the reali'ation of
how social networks are ruining our lives, in the #ame, and by authority of
teens who prefer to actually have a life, solemnly publish and declare, !hat
Social #etworks are, $lled with nothing but fakes and hate, and that all social
connections between social networks and the people within them, is and
ought to be totally dissolved( and as !eens who still cling onto reality, we
establish our departure from a fake world with fake lives