EDGEWOOD PILOT

Written by
Ari Dardel
whatsuparia@yahoo.com
EXT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
IMAGINE DRAGONS - ITS TIME PLAYS AS...
CAMERON P.O.V. - THE NEW GIRL
Walks out of the back seat of a blue Honda Civic and grabs
her backpack. She watches the car drive off and then takes a
look around as she slowly makes her way through the parking
lot.
A SENIOR GIRL, 17, stands behind her white convertible
putting lipstick on, wearing a grey gym shirt. She throws the
lipstick into her purse and reaches for a white collard
shirt. She throws off her gym shirt, revealing a black bra
and quickly puts the collard shirt on.
Two SOPHOMORE BOYS, 16, pass a large fast food cup back and
forth as they take sips and wince from the alcohol.
Outside the doors that lead inside stands a tall JOCK LOOKING
STUDENT, 17, with a textbook open explaining something to a
SKINNY NERD LOOKING STUDENT, 17.
THROUGH THE LOBBY DOOR INTO
INT. EDGEWOOD HIGH SCHOOL - CONTINUED
MR. MATT, 37, holding a cup of coffee rolls his eyes as MISS
PARKER, 42, chubby with short red hair skips past him way too
energetically.
He turns and almost bumps into our eyes, nods his head
awkwardly and gets out of the way.
ENTER THE FRONT OFFICE and PAN OUT TO REVEAL:
CAMERON, 15, dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes with a
very shy smile handing a school schedule to MARTHA, 53,
working the reception desk.
From behind Martha, MR. CONNORS, 41, can be seen closing his
door as Cameron watches.
INT. PRINCIPALS OFFICE - DAY
TITLE CARD - 7:45 / Before School.
PETER, 15, with hair gelled to look messy and wrinkled
clothes sits slouched back in a chair facing Mr. Connors.
Next to Peter on Mr. Connors desk is a giant tupperware box.
MR. CONNORS
Were gonna put you back on
academic probation.
Peter sits up.
PETER
I got off that last quarter.
MR. CONNORS
And your grades and conduct have
slipped drastically in the mere
three weeks this new ones started.
If you want me to baby you, I
wont, but push you I will.
Mr. Connors shakes his head.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
Your G.P.A. Was 2.7 last quarter
while you were on probation. The
quarter before that you had a 1.6.
Thats a gigantic leap and why?
Because you had the faculty on your
ass, reporting to your parents on a
weekly basis the exact detail of
every decision you made as a
student. You were trapped into
actually applying yourself and it
paid off. I know how students like
you think... You convince
yourselves that its you, but in a
defensive way like youre doing
your very best and youre simply
not able to, like most others,
retain what youre taught.
PETER
Thats exactly it though.
MR. CONNORS
(Loud)
No, its not!
Mr. Connors composes himself and SIGHS.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
2.7. Peter. Cut the bull shit and
grow up.
Peter stares blankly at the floor.
2.
MR. CONNORS
Youre a cool kid, right? You make
everybody, including the teachers
laugh... You have a good heart...
Its a small school and like the
show Cheers everybody knows your
name.
(Beat)
Everybody knows everybody.
Everybody knows everybody and there
is an unspoken hierarchy amongst
the student body and you are one of
the top dogs, but guess what? This
connection, this dynamic where you
feel responsible to impress them
all each and every day by pushing
the rules as far as they can go,
something you for some reason
prioritize over your grades and
your future, does not come with
permanent glory. In three years
when youre done here, if you make
it that far, and thats no threat
cause contrary to what you may
think I actually do like you,
nobody is going to remember what
you said that day in class that had
everybody laughing so hard tears
were streaming down their faces.
Nobody is going to remember that
cool thing you did that set you
apart from everybody else. After
high school nobody gives a damn
about that kind of stuff and youll
realize it was all for nothing. You
know what isnt all for nothing?
Education. Education is something
youll carry with you until the day
you die. Friendships fade but
education sticks.
PETER
I understand what youre saying but
can you consider giving me one more
chance before youre completely
sold on putting me back on
probation? Granted I know theres
exceptions to everything, I also
know placing somebody on Academic
probation in the middle of a
quarter because their grades are
slipping is not how Academic
probation works.
3.
(MORE)
Negatively speaking, you have to
earn that weekly paper from hell by
what your report card dictates and
not by what your future report card
is currently shaping up to be at
present time. Mr. Connors, its
like I could die in a car accident
on my way home from school today.
Am I going to? Most likely not, but
statistics show people die in car
accidents every day so it is
possible. When I get my next report
card my G.P.A. could fall below
2.0. Is it going to?
MR. CONNORS
Most likely, yes.
PETER
Okay, I could have maybe used an
analogy more probable to my
argument but I think you get my
point.
MR. CONNORS
And I think you miss mine.
Mr. Connor leans back.
MR. CONNORS (CONTD)
At the risk of knocking you, I am
so confident that you will blow
that one more chance faster than
I can blink Ill take you up on it.
One more disruption that leads you
here nervously asking me how Im
doing and you are back on probation
for the remainder of the quarter.
PETER
Hey, thats all Im asking for.
MR. CONNORS
Well thats all youre gonna get.
Ill be seeing you soon.
Peter stands up and grabs his container and smiles at Mr.
Connors with squinted eyes like hes trying to read what he
meant by that.
PETER
Trick statement?
4.
PETER (CONT'D)
MR. CONNORS
whats with the tupperware?
PETER
Macaroni and Cheese.
MR. CONNORS
Im not even gonna ask...
Peter walks away.
INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - DAY
Peter exits the office holding on to his giant container. He
walks over to Mr. Matt and knocks on the tupperware lid.
MR. MATT
Whats up?
PETER
Can you store this in the fridge in
the Teachers Lounge for me till
lunch time?
Mr. Matt examines the container for a moment, skeptical.
Peter rolls his eyes.
PETER (CONTD)
Its not a bomb. Its macaroni and
cheese.
MR. MATT
I know its not a bomb! Why do you
have such a large... batch of
macaroni and cheese?
PETER
Its for lunch, okay?
MR. MATT
Youre gonna eat all that for
lunch?
PETER
Were having a feast...
MR. MATT
A feast?
PETER
A feast, yes.
5.
MR. MATT
Just this once. Dont make a habit
out of asking me to do stupid shit
for you though.
PETER
Thank you.
MR. MATT
Did you do your Music Appreciation
homework?
PETER
Of course.
MR. MATT
Please do it.
PETER
I just told you I did.
MR. MATT
Its a small essay on Mozart. Im
not asking for much.
PETER
Ill do it.
Mr. Matt gives him a I dont quite believe you look.
PETER (CONTD)
Ill do it at lunch, okay?
Mr. Matt starts backing up and nodding his head, latched on
to the container of macaroni and cheese.
MR. MATT
Ill see you seventh period.
He bumps into Miss Parker as he stares Peter down, nearly
dropping the container while miss Parker loses her grip on a
bunch of papers and they scatter everywhere.
Mr. Matt bends down and begins helping her retrieve them all.
MISS PARKER
Fudge!
He gives her a youre so weird look.
6.
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
ANDREW, 15 and KATIE, 15 are seated on the surface of a blue
lunch table. Peter enters and makes his way over to them.
Katie is tall, her clothes are a bit baggy and she doesnt
wear make up. Shes still very attractive though. Andrew is
chubby but built.
ANDREW
(To Peter)
Hey, which one is better...
Face/Off or 8MM?
PETER
8MM. Thats a fact.
ANDREW
(To Katie)
I told you.
Katie rolls her eyes.
KATIE
Thats an opinion, not a fact.
PETER
You like Face/Off more than 8MM?
KATIE
I like neither, but if I had to
pick one Id go with Face/Off.
Andrews been on a Nic Cage kick
lately and hes dragged me into it
against my will. Have you ever been
raped by Nicholas Cage? Its not
fun.
PETER
Well, I definitely agree neither
are anything to write home about
but at least in 8MM you get
Phoenix.
KATIE
Yeah, but I didnt like him in that
movie. There was something about
him that made me feel really
uncomfortable.
ANDREW
Thats called good writing, okay?
7.
KATIE
No, cause it wasnt good
uncomfortable. It was just awkward
and cringing. It made me feel
all... I dont know.
ANDREW
(To Katie)
Hey, earmuffs...
He covers her ears with his hands.
ANDREW (CONTD)
(To Peter)
You see the new girl? Hot as
hell... Our grade too I heard.
Katie throws Andrews hands off of her and punches his arm
extremely hard. Andrew sarcastically drops his mouth in shock
and LAUGHS.
ANDREW (CONTD)
What?!
KATIE
Jerk!
ANDREW
Why?!
KATIE
You can binge watch the rest of
your Nicholas Cage films all by
yourself.
She walks away. Andrew shakes his head with a smile and rubs
his arm.
ANDREW
Bitch.
Katie rushes back like a lion ready to pounce on its prey.
ANDREW (CONTD)
No, I was kidding!
Katie clenches her fist.
ANDREW (CONTD)
I was kidding!
She punches him even harder than before in the same spot.
8.
ANDREW (CONTD)
Ouch! God dammit...
She walks away LAUGHING.
PETER
(Laughing)
You want a cigarette before home
room?
Andrew rubs his arm again.
ANDREW
I do now, yeah.
The first bell RINGS.
ANDREW (CONTD)
Shit, lets hurry.
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - DAY
A room full of rowdy students. MISS HENDERSON, 38, sits at
her desk texting somebody from her phone.
MISS HENDERSON
Four minute warning!
Cameron walks in holding a schedule, followed by Katie. She
looks very timid.
MISS HENDERSON (CONTD)
Hi, Cameron, right?
CAMERON
Yeah, nice to meet you.
MISS HENDERSON
You too! Im Miss Henderson. You
can sit anywhere youd like.
DAN, 15, looks on from the back with an impressed smile and
slaps BRYAN, 15, in the chest extremely hard without taking
his eyes off of her. Next to them is Katie and two empty
desks.
She places her backpack in one of the empty desks and her
binder on top of the other.
BRYAN
(In pain, laughing)
Dammit, dude. What the hell?
9.
DAN
That girl though!
Dan WHISTLES loudly at Cameron. She blushes and Miss
Henderson looks on agitated.
MISS HENDERSON
Not cool, Dan! Come on...
Katie LAUGHS and rolls her eyes. Dan mean mugs her.
DAN
What are you rolling your eyes for?
KATIE
Youre a pig!
DAN
You wanna get slapped too?!
MISS HENDERSON
Dan, that isnt funny.
KATIE
He knows if he slaps me Ill kick
his ass.
MISS HENDERSON
Can we all just please relax? I
know its Monday...
DAN
It aint Sunday.
Everybody LAUGHS.
EXT. SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
Peter and Andrew smoke cigarettes in a small pitiful excuse
for a football field just right of the actual campus itself.
ANDREW
You wanna hear something funny?
Peter nods and takes a drag.
10.
ANDREW (CONTD)
I hate Nicholas Cage. Like I
fucking cant stand the guy, but
Katie probably hates him even more
and she loves me, and I know that
if its something she really thinks
Im into shell be supportive no
matter the amount of reluctance she
may have. Ive literally forced so
many Nicholas Cage movie on her for
the past two weeks just to drive
her insane.
PETER
Dude, just beat the shit out of her
instead. I feel like that would be
way less over the line.
Andrew smiles and shakes his head.
ANDREW
Next up is The Family Man.
PETER
That is so bitch...
Off in the distance stands MISS TAMARA, 41, arms crossed,
smiling ear to ear as she watches Andrew and Peter smoke.
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - CONTINUED
The second bell RINGS.
TITLE CARD - First Period English / 8:15 A.M.
Miss Henderson CLAPS to get her students attention and
approaches the front of the room.
MISS HENDERSON
Okay, phones away and mouths zipped
shut. Before we call roll, we have
a new student joining us today. Her
names Cameron.
DAN
If it isnt, it should be.
MISS HENDERSON
I trust you guys will treat her
with the same respect you do each
other.
11.
DAN
So, none?
The class LAUGHS.
MISS HENDERSON
Is it seriously going to be one of
those mornings? Are we trying to
impress the new kid with how
rowdy we can be?
KATIE
They really dont treat people with
respect, Miss H. Especially girls.
DAN
Yeah? Then why do you sit with us
at lunch?
KATIE
Cause Im dating your friend, you
retard.
(Laughing)
And you make me feel smarter.
Cameron CHUCKLES.
DAN
(To Katie)
Thats funny, cause youre dumb as
hell.
The door opens and miss Tamara lets herself in with a smile.
Miss Henderson smiles back, happy to see her.
MISS TAMARA
Good morning!
MISS HENDERSON
Miss Tamara, how are you?
(To Cameron)
Miss Tamara is the schools
disciplinary leader.
MISS TAMARA
Great, great, great... How are the
knuckleheads treating you this
morning?
MISS HENDERSON
Lets just say some of them may be
coming to your office to say good
morning pretty soon.
12.
MISS TAMARA
Is that right?
DAN
Ill just save myself the trip and
say it now... Good morning.
MISS TAMARA
(To Miss Henderson)
Speaking of knuckleheads, are you
missing a couple of them?
Miss Henderson takes a quick glance around.
MISS HENDERSON
Ah, yes... Peter and Andrew. Im
pretty sure thats a detention for
Peter.
MALLORY, 15, blonde and gorgeous rolls her eyes with a smile.
MALLORY
Andrew too. Thats number four this
month.
MISS TAMARA
Well regardless, youll be sending
both of them to me right away when
they arrive anyway. Theyre smoking
cigarettes in the football field.
MALLORY
That is so gross.
MISS HENDERSON
(To Miss Tamara)
Thank you.
Miss Tamara waves bye to Cameron as she goes to leave.
MISS TAMARA
Welcome to Edgewood.
She leaves.
EXT. SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
Peter and Andrew put out their cigarettes.
PETER
One more?
13.
ANDREW
Were already late.
PETER
Exactly. Thats a tardy detention
for me so I might as well make the
most of it.
ANDREW
Its a detention for me too, I
think.
PETER
Its like youre Jeff Goldbum and
Im Will Smith in independence day,
when theyre in the plane thats
inside the UFO thing smoking one
last cigar.
ANDREW
Lets go back.
Peter puts the pack of cigarettes into his pocket and the two
walk towards the campus.
ANDREW (CONTD)
How do you get cigarettes anyway?
PETER
When I have the money I have my mom
pull into the gas station in the
morning so I can get gum. I go
in, hand the guy ten dollars for a
five dollar pack of smokes and tell
him to keep the change cause Im
running late for work.
ANDREW
Shut up.
PETER
I mean he knows. Hes not stupid.
He smiles every time like he gets
it, you know?
INT. ENGLISH CLASS - CONTINUED
Miss Henderson crosses her arms with a plotting smile.
MISS HENDERSON
Alright, you guys want to play a
game?
14.
DAN
Hell yeah.
MISS HENDERSON
What excuse will they give for
being late? The person closest to
being right will receive a homework
pass.
KYLE, 15, a black skinny kid shakes his head and LAUGHS.
KYLE
Theyll say they were in the
bathroom... Watch.
RYAN, 15, shakes his head no.
RYAN
No, they were in the computer lab
printing out their homework. Bonus
detail, you ready? The printer
jammed and they had to wait for it
to be fixed.
MALLORY
You were closer than Kyle, but
youre both wrong. These guys are
idiots, okay? Theyre going to say
they were doing something really
respectable.
KYLE
Thats not vague at all...
MALLORY
Its not specific enough to say
they were doing a good deed? Like,
their reason will make you want to
shake their hands or tell them
theyre great people.
MISS HENDERSON
Ill take that.
Peter and Andrew walks in to a class full of students trying
their very best to hold laughter in. Cameron watches, ready
to burst out laughing.
MISS HENDERSON (CONTD)
And where were you guys?
PETER
This kid, man...
15.
Mallory has a shit eating grin on her face.
PETER (CONTD)
He couldnt get his locker open. He
must have been in the sixth grade
he was so small. We had to help him
out.
The entire class ERUPTS into LAUGHTER. Peter and Andrew stare
them all down like theyre crazy.
PETER (CONTD)
What is so funny?
Miss Henderson goes over to her desk, pulls out three forms
and begins writing on them.
PETER (CONTD)
Whats that?
She finishes and approaches Peter and Andrew holding the
detention slips out for them to grab. They do, very confused.
PETER (CONTD)
If you want to give us tardy
detention for helping out some
crying kid, so be it.
Miss Henderson turns to Mallory and hands her a homework
pass.
MISS HENDERSON
Heres your homework pass.
MALLORY
Thank you.
PETER
Why does she get a homework pass?
MALLORY
For accurately guessing what excuse
you two idiots would give for being
late.
PETER
What?
MISS HENDERSON
Read the detention slip.
Peter and Andrew look it over. Andrew turns ghost white with
fear and Peter, beat red with anger.
16.
PETER
We werent smoking!
MISS HENDERSON
Get out. Miss Tamara is waiting.
PETER
Wait, lets be rational for a
moment. The vocab test, miss
Henderson... We cant miss a vocab
test.
MALLORY
Its Monday, dumb ass. Honors takes
vocab tests on Monday. We take them
on Tuesdays.
PETER
(To Miss Henderson)
Youre not gonna write her up for
calling me a dumb ass?
MISS HENDERSON
Oh, please... If I wrote each of
you up every time you said a bad
word Id start getting threats from
Lorax for killing so many trees.
INT. SCHOOL LOBBY - DAY
Peter and Andrew sit on a couch outside of Miss Tamaras
office.
ANDREW
(Whispering)
My mom doesnt know I smoke.
PETER
Thats not what youre gonna tell
Miss Tamara though, now is it?
Andrew shakes his head. Its silent for a moment until they
both LAUGH.
Miss Tamara walks up to them with a wide smile, holding a
water bottle.
MISS TAMARA
Gentlemen! Come on in.
They follow her into her office.
17.
INT. MISS TAMARAS OFFICE - DAY
Peter and Andrew are seated in front of Miss Tamaras desk.
She sips her water and leans back.
MISS TAMARA
So, do your parents know you smoke?
PETER & ANDREW
Yes.
MISS TAMARA
Really? As somebody who knows both
your mothers very well, I highly
doubt that for some reason.
PETER
With all due respect, you couldnt
possibly know our moms more than we
do, right?
MISS TAMARA
Thats a very good point, Peter.
Andrew smiles awkwardly.
MISS TAMARA (CONTD)
Ill tell you what.. First off,
hand me the cigarettes. Lighters
too.
Peter hands her his cigarettes and lighter.
ANDREW
I dont have a lighter.
Miss Tamara holds the cigarette pack up and examines it.
MISS TAMARA
I was going to break each cigarette
one at a time and toss the lighter
in the trash, but that wouldnt be
fair of me considering your parents
know and accept that you smoke.
Heres what Im prepared to do...
Im going to simply set these
aside, call your parents and have
them pick these items up and do
with them as they please. Since
they know you smoke theyll
probably simply hand them back to
you and youll puffing again in no
time.
18.
ANDREW
Time out. My mom does not know I
smoke.
MISS TAMARA
(Fake shock)
What?!
Peter stares Andrew down like hes a traitor.
ANDREW
(To Peter)
Dont even look at me like that.
MISS TAMARA
Is there a problem with how you
think Im handling this, Peter?
PETER
No mam.
MISS TAMARA
Are you sure? You look kind of mad.
PETER
Why would I be mad? Im gonna be
puffing again in no time.
INT. OUTSIDE OF COMPUTER LAB - DAY
TITLE CARD- Second Period Animation / 9:01 A.M.
A small group of students wait with her backpacks outside of
a computer lab. Bryan rattles the locked door and then looks
down at his watch. Cameron is beside him waiting with
wandering eyes.
Peter walks over to Bryan and shakes his head.
BRYAN
What did Miss Tamara do?
PETER
(Laughing)
Shes calling my mom to come pick
up my cigarettes.
BRYAN
Does your mom know you smoke?
PETER
Hell no. Where is Miss Parker?
19.
Bryan shrugs and turns to Cameron.
BRYAN
Do you like animation?
PETER
(Like hes stupid)
No, she doesnt like animation.
BRYAN
You dont know that.
PETER
Bryan, nobody except for you would
take this elective willingly.
Cameron LAUGHS.
CAMERON
I like it just fine, but I signed
up for drama. It was full I guess.
PETER
See?
BRYAN
She said she likes it just fine.
PETER
She was being nice.
BRYAN
(To Cameron)
Its a fun elective. I mean, its
easy. Last Friday we went to
Universal Studios. Well, everybody
except for him.
CAMERON
Really? Thats pretty cool.
Miss Parker skips over to the door with a set of keys.
PETER
(Annoyed)
Youre late.
MISS PARKER
No, Im teacher.
PETER
The teacher... You are the teacher.
Jesus Christ.
20.
MISS PARKER
God bless you.
She opens the door and students start piling in. Peter turns
to Cameron and bites his lip.
PETER
I fucking hate her.
INT. COMPUTER LAB - MOMENTS LATER
Miss Parker waves two stacks of papers around like pom poms
while grinning from ear to ear.
MISS PARKER
We have a new student joining our
very animated class today!
Please, no flash photography.
PETER
What does that even mean?
MISS PARKER
Im speaking, Peter.
PETER
Oh, sorry. I didnt realize.
Miss Parker closes her eyes and sticks her tongue out at him.
MISS PARKER
Youre probably wondering what Im
holding in my hands right now,
right?
Nobody says anything.
MISS PARKER (CONTD)
Well, its a pop quiz.
The class BOOS in unison.
MISS PARKER (CONTD)
Wait now, let me finish. Since you
guys were so good at Universal
Studios last week I spent the
weekend preparing an easy A to help
boost all your grades.
(To Cameron)
Cameron, sweetie, you dont have to
take it of course.
21.
PETER
So what are we gonna do? Just sit
here?
MISS PARKER
What do you mean we, Peter?
PETER
I mean I didnt go on the field
trip so I cant take it either.
MISS PARKER
Youre not new here like her. I
cant give everybody else a quiz
and not you if youve been here
just as long.
PETER
But I didnt go...
MISS PARKER
Its not my fault you opted out of
having an amazing day at a theme
park.
PETER
It isnt like I chose sitting in a
library bored crazy over going to a
theme park... I couldnt afford it.
MISS PARKER
You are making a milk shake out of
nothing. This is an easy A. You
will be fine. Now Im handing the
quizzes out so no more talking.
Peter rolls his eyes as he watches her hand the quizzes out.
He receives his and glances over it.
He rolls his eyes and raises his hand.
PETER
Hey, yeah... Question number one...
Who sat next to me on Jurassic
Park? This has got to be a joke.
How the hell am I supposed to know
that?
MISS PARKER
I said no more talking. If you
dont know an answer, take an
educated guess.
22.
PETER
An educated guess? It isnt even
multiple choice. Question number
two, Where did we eat lunch at? I
think youve really gone crazy this
time, miss Parker.
MISS PARKER
One more outburst from you, young
man and you wont be happy.
Peter crumbles his quiz up into a ball and throws it at the
white board behind her.
MISS PARKER (CONTD)
Get out this instance!
PETER
My pleasure.
The class LAUGHS while Cameron watches Peter leave with a
sympathetic smile.
Peter opens the door but stops and shakes his head.
PETER (CONTD)
This class is a joke.
MISS PARKER
Youre a joke!
PETER
Maybe.
He slams the door behind him.
PAUL, 16, shakes his head very confused.
PAUL
I could be losing my mind here, but
I could have sworn Peter sat next
to you on Jurassic Park, Miss
Parker.
MEAGAN, 15, shakes her head at Paul.
MEAGAN
No, Sarah did.
SARAH, 16, looks extremely offended.
SARAH
Gross, I did not.
23.
KEVIN, 15, stares his quiz down very confused.
KEVIN
Yo, I thought we brought our own
lunches...
Miss Parkers face turns beat red.
MISS PARKER
This is a quiz! You cannot be
discussing answers out loud like
this! This is supposed to be an
easy A!
BILLY, 15, scratches his head and puts his pencil down.
BILLY
I dont know a single answer on
this thing, to be honest with you.
MISS PARKER
Nobody sat next to me on Jurassic
Park! There! You have one answer!
Now please, do your best on the
rest of them.
24.