WE CARE !

A PASTORAL PROPOSAL THAT INVOLVES US DIRECTLY

A contribution by the participants in the Seminar The Family: a resource for
overcoming the crisis to assist the pastoral refections of the Synod Fathers
united for the IIIrd Etraordinary !eneral Assembly of the Synod of "ishops on
The pastoral challenge of the family in the contet of evangelisation#

As a Christian community !ui"#" $y our Lor" %#sus Christ
an" i&&uminat#" $y th# Wor" o' (o")
$# %e %ant to refect on the impact %hich the &nancial' economic
and social crisis has had on families today and ho% to
relaunch an economy and society that are truly at the service
of the common good#
The globalised %orld has entered the lives of our families and
can be an opportunity' if guided by values' but can also
represent a ris( if its bene&ts are only en)oyed by a fe% and
%ealth is concentrated in one sector' increasing the gap
bet%een rich and poor' the included and ecluded' as has'
unfortunately occurred over the last fe% decades# !ro%ing
ine*uality' the numerous lives and families left on the margins
of the so+called global mar(et urge us to eamine the
economic system and prevailing %ay of thin(ing %ith a critical
eye' to see( ne% roads for a more human economy and
society and' as ,hristians' to respond to the great pastoral
challenge of inclusion#
The most %idespread feeling today amongst families in
di-culty throughout the %orld is one of impotence and
solitude in the face of an overbearing and crushing socio+
economic reality#
For this reason %e are ready to dedicate our e.orts' as a
,hristian community' not only to reducing the negative e.ects
$
that the crisis has on families' but also to altering the
underlying structural causes through evangelical courage and
&rm civil commitment#
/# 0e %ould li(e to promote even further' through our prayers
and actions' processes of peace and integral development'
%hich appeal to governments and international institutions to
%or( to%ards a more e*ual and peaceful %orld#
1igrations' no% obligatory as a result of %ars and poverty'
famine and environmental disasters' have brought grief and
separation to untold families and a brea(do%n in their
net%or(s of friendships#
2ur commitment to furthering peace and reconciliation must
go hand in hand %ith providing a %elcome' care and daily
a.ection for refugee and immigrant families' and in particular
the %omen and children traumatised by %ar and by etreme
poverty and eploitation#
3# 2n the level on institutions' %e %ould li(e to promote still
further constructive political action aimed at protecting shared
rights and responsibilities' %hich re*uires nations to guarantee
the right to a family' to promote housing and employment
policies and other measures in support of young couples and
families#
Ecclesial communities and religious congregations %ith unused
property are also called upon to ma(e a gesture of solidarity
and to place these at the disposal of young couple in economic
di-culty' %ho cannot get married as they have no%here to
live#
4# In a %orld and culture that have made us used to ignoring the
%ea( and the elderly' %e %ant to teach ourselves and our
young to see old people not as a dead %eight that steals life
/
from the young' but as the pivot of the family' custodians of
%isdom and of the memory of our roots' %ithout %hich %e
cannot build a future#
In the prevailing mentality' anyone %ho is not productive is
seen as a loser# "ut' in reality' many elderly people5s pensions
are used to support younger families a6icted by the crisis and
unemployment' and the older generation often loo( after the
young children#
Sometimes the elderly say that they are a burden because
they are afraid that nobody cares for them or sees them as a
resource# They are afraid of their o%n %ea(ness and of life
itself %hen it is di-cult#
0e %ould li(e to learn to love our older and younger people
more' to give them more space and a greater %elcome into
our communities# 0e are certain that in %hat appears as
%ea(ness in the elderly there is also a great strength that
provides us' also' %ith an opportunity for friendship' to
rediscover our roots' to gro% in faith and to emerge from our
egocentrism and reveal our best sentiments#
0e %ould li(e to create paths of faith and solidarity that cross
all the generations' and not sectorial or eclusive pastoral
proposals# 0e are open to pastoral roads that encourage a
mutual meeting' sharing and enriching of the young' of adults
and of the elderly#
0e also commit ourselves to strengthening %ithin our parishes
the net%or( of protection and community support for families
%ith grandparents and7or parents su.ering from Al8heimer5s
or other degenerative diseases# In particular' %e %ant to be
close to and to help families %ho live every day %ith relatives
%ho have psychological illnesses and %ho feel abandoned in
their su.ering#
9# 0e (no% of the %ealth of a.ection' creativity and faith that %e
receive from disabled children and adults and their families#
3
All too often' the parents of these children feel that they are
alone in trying to manage their presents and futures' and live
%ith the constant %orry of %hat %ill happen %hen they are no
longer there to protect their children# In ecclesial communities
%e are %itnessing beautiful eperiences %ith young people
su.ering from mental disabilities and their families# "ut
sometimes these young people are not %elcomed correctly
into our pastoral activities' oratories and catechism lessons#
0e %ould therefore li(e to involve ourselves more so as to
ma(e these young people a resource of love for our
community' valuing their abilities and learning from them the
)oy of living and faith in our :ord ,hrist# 0e %ant to help their
families in concrete terms to cope %ith the di-culties of daily
life' &ght for the right to a an active social life for their children
and build community eperiences that ensure they receive
a.ection and care throughout their entire lives ;family support'
family homes in the dioceses' etc# <#
=# 0e %ould li(e to eplore all the pastoral paths for restoring
trust and hope in the mothers and fathers of today#
In crisis of values and socio+economic systems' the mediating
role of the middle generation ris(s disappearing' crushed by
unemployment and the disintegration of emotional bonds#
0e %ould li(e to accompany these parents in di.erent %ays'
starting %ith helping them &nd a decent )ob so as to be able to
create family relationships and space for dialogue and shared
eperience#
A ma)or pastoral challenge relating to families living in
disadvantaged conditions and in uncertain emotional states is
that of an education %hich starts from the eperience of love
as lived in the community# It is for' us' essential' to strengthen
pastoral actions in support of parents' understood as learning
ho% to live and transmit love and solidarity even %here
emotional ties bet%een adults have been severed#
4
The other great challenge is that of inter+cultural dialogue'
0e are called to reinterpret our o%n vision of the family in the
light of the !ospel' %ith our starting points the real situation of
families today and constructive dialogue %ith contemporary
cultures#
>arents today' and particularly single mothers or divorced
couples' need to feel that they are understood' loved and
supported in the )ourney through life' so as to be able to serve
against as a lin( in the chain transmitting memories and
values to their children#
?# In our pastoral %or( %e %ould to pay greater attention to
families %ho are victims of violence and various (inds of
aggression#
2ften' precisely because of their poverty' poorer families are
obliged to entrust their children to unscrupulous individuals
%ho promise to provide them %ith food' an education and a
better future but %ho' in reality' reduce these children to a
state of slavery#
@nfortunately' there have also been cases of children su.ering
and being removed from their families that have involved
religious institutions#
0e %ould li(e to do our utmost to help poor families (eep their
children' and prevent their being removed from their parents5
love because of the families5 poverty#
2ne of the saddest symptoms of individualism is violence
against %omen' mothers and daughters# This violence often
eplodes %ithin the family and many %omen are (illed every
day all over the %orld# Seual abuse of children is also
%idespread# and' behind many of these events lie hidden tales
of solitude and poverty#
2ur ecclesial community cannot remain indi.erent in the face
of such scandals and the calls for help' even %hen these are
silent' of so many %omen and children#
9

A# Special attention must also be paid to immigrant families' and
especially to their children %ho struggle to be reunited %ith
their parents or en)oy full rights of citi8enship in the countries
to %hich they have emigrated# 0e %ant to ma(e public opinion
more a%are and urge parliaments and governments to pass
la%s in favour of the full integration of immigrant families#

B# All over the %orld the families represent the main unit of
society since they form a large protective net%or( in times of
economic and social di-culty and are a lin( in the chain
transmitting a culture of solidarity and fraternity# In traditional
societies' li(e in Asia and Africa' this role is very clear and
strong and families' especially in villages' ta(e care of each
other and share %hat little they have for the good of the entire
community# In the "antu language of sub+Saharan Africa' there
is an epression ;%hich is also a philosophy< that perfectly
epresses this community vision and is very close to our
,hristian eperience: ubuntu' that is' (indness to%ards the
net man# And @muntu ngumuntu ngabantu' I am because
%e are#
0e %ant to learn from our brothers and sisters of the southern
hemisphere ho% to eperience these great values of sharing'
hospitality' %elcome' mutual assistance for the good of all in
our communities' values %hich are also those of the !ospel#
$C# Despite variations in our cultures and social situations' %e are
a%are that many families today go through periods of
enormous fatigue and su.ering#
0hilst recognising the primary role of families in the teaching
and transmission of values' %e do not %ant to burden families
in di-culty %ith tas(s and responsibilities' thus rendering
them even more fragile# So' )ust as %e must urge political
institution not to load families %ith responsibilities that are
=
those of the collectivity and of the state as epressions of
)ustice' %e must not overload families in di-culty %ith
religious duties ' educational and pastoral tas(s that ris(s
ecluding those %ho simply cannot cope# 0e %ould rather
listen to these families and their needs' ma(ing room for
encountering and comparing di.erent realities' for inter+
generational' inter+cultural and inter+religious dialogue# Today
more than ever %e need to support these families along their
path to rebuilding trust' relationships and hope through a
net%or( of friendship and community support#
$$# 1eeting today5s families reveals a %idespread poverty of
emotional attachments' %hich turns into educational poverty
and inability to form relationships in one5s o%n life# 2ften the
&gure of a father or of adults %ho provide &rm and positive
points is lac(ing# These di-culties cross all barriers of faith'
social and economic condition or birth nation#
Today there is a great need for relationships' for fatherhood
and motherhood' but our ecclesial communities often seem
afraid to eperience and build such attachments and become
communities of motherhood# They tend to delegate the
maternal role to others' a role %hich involves assuming
responsiblity and caring for others# Thus the parishes ris(
being li(e some%hat litigious apartment bloc(s %here
relationships are ignored and the priests themselves are hard
to contact#
0e (no% that %e %ill succeed in conveying the !ospel5s
message of the beauty of the family only if %e ourselves are a
family' if our communities are families# Then it %ill be natural
for us to be close to families' nobody ecluded' and satisfy
their need for relationships so as to build a net%or( of
friendship that is also a safety+net in times of uncertainty#
$/# Today' as ,hristian communities' %e must grasp the urgency
of ans%ering the follo%ing *uestion: Do %e (no% ho% to be
true builders of relationships' do %e (no% ho% to love one
?
other and ta(e care of each other' especially the %ea(er and
more fragileE Do people truly capable of loving their
neighbours and ta(ing care of them really emerge from
seminaries' ,atholic schools' catechism and the various
marriage preparation courses o.ered or simply people %ho
have ac*uired theological principles and (no%ledge to a
greater or lesser degreeE
0e see ourselves as disciples of ,hrist insofar as %e (no% ho%
to live together and through the *uality of our human
relations#
The ability to love and create positive attachments is not
innate but is learnt and nurtured every day' follo%ing in the
footsteps of ,hrist# It should be learnt in the family' in schools'
in seminaries and should be the foal point in our parishes#
For this reason' %e %ant to learn the teachings of Fesus' %ho di
not teach about the pastoral family but himself built the family
of the !ospel' %hich is' &rst and foremost' the family of the
humble and of the poor' of those %ho listen and put into
practice his %ords' and of his youngest brothers#
From Gim %e must learn the alphabet of love and mercy %hich
enables us to ma(e courageous choices and form friendships
%ith all the families of today' %ith no eceptions#
The &rst great step to%ards this encounter %ith families in
di-culty is represented by the children# The greatest pastoral
challenge for our communities is to ma(e space for them for
love and human and spiritual gro%th# If %e can spea( the
language of the young today' if %e can ma(e them love ,hrist
not only in %ords but through beautiful and forceful
eperiences' then %e shall easily reach their hearts and those
of their distant parents#
$3# 0e set o.' therefore' on a path that also leads to%ards those
%ounded families' %ounded in their lives and in their
a.ections' %ho do not enter our parish communities either
A
through a sense of shame or because they feel themselves to
be )udged# 0e are thin(ing here of separated couples' the
divorced and re+married and those living together outside
marriage#
0e %ould li(e to be' as >ope Francis has ehorted us' an
outgoing ,hurch' %ith open doors' capable of healing
%ounds and %arming the hearts of the faithful' of slo%ing
do%n' %hen necessary' to loo( people in the eye and listen to
them and to accompany those left by the roadside#
$
0e hope that our pastors and theologians may &nd ne%
eegetical' theological and pastoral directions so that these
families can al%ays feel that they are an integral part of the
community#
2ne of the roads to ta(e is that of sharing the service of
charity' an ethic commitment and solid assistance for the
poorest and most defenceless# This eperience %ill enable us
to eperience together %ith !od and Fesus ,hrist the role of
fathers and mothers of mercy and to feel that %e are part of a
community from %hich no one is ecluded#

$4# :astly' %e %ould li(e to increase still further our a%areness
that nobody is so rich that they can be given nothing' and
nobody is so poor that they have nothing to giveH#
/
This means
that every family can eperience the charity' hospitality and
%elcome to%ards the poor' even in the midst of life5s
uncertainties# The mystery of the poor reveals that %e are all
poor and that poverty does not refer only to a fe% or to a
group' but to all of us# The evangelical bliss of blessed be the
poor ma(es us realise that %e are blessed %hen %e recognise
our o%n poverty' the limits of our lives' and entrust ourselves
to the :ord# Gere' by poverty' %e mean above all freedom
from things: going beyond the right to property' at least as has
been perceived and applied until no%I %e mean )ustice that is
&nally and truly distributed and for the community# "y poverty
$ >ope Francis' Evangelii !audium' J# 4=#
/ Dom Gelder ,amara#
B
%e certainly do not mean misery' and even less being
miserableI %e mean man being ta(en for his absolute %orth
and not for %hat he possesses#
3
@nfortunately' today' more
than goods + %hich are for all + %e lac( a universal sense of the
rights of every man to have at least the bare essentials# For
this reason' poverty and the poor are a prophecy to %hich %e
must listen# 0e %ant to live poverty as sobriety in our family
and community lives' to share our goods and our time %ith the
less fortunate amongst us' to listen to %hat poor families can
help us learn for the good of our lives and our road to faith#
0e see eamples in those elderly individuals %ho go to visit
other less fortunate old people living in institutions' or
amongst immigrant families %ho' despite their di-culties'
(eep alive a sense of hospitality and %elcome' sharing the
little they have and the treasures of their cultures %ith those
%ho accompany them along their path#
For this light of charity to (eep burning it is etremely
important that families create lin(s %ith each other and their
neighbourhood and can live in fraternity and solidarity to%ards
the %ea(est in their local churches' and also through the
shared paths of their communities#
$9# The !od of :ife' in becoming one of us' eperienced the life of
a humble family' a simple' immigrant family in %hich he learnt
to %or( %ith his hands' to ma(e gestures of solidarity and to
heal the %ounds of the people of his time# Ge %ent to%ards
families in di-culty' lived %ith them' ate and %ept %ith them'
too( care of them li(e the good Samaritan# Ge sought out and
lived also the lost sheep# Ge openly denounced in)ustice in
defence of the %ea(est# And he never resigned himself to the
status *uo but since then has %rought that change %hich
only love can bring about#
This is the ,hristian hope and the %ish that %e convey to our
beloved "ishops' united in the Assembly of the Synod# 1ay our
3 Davide 1aria T@K2:D2' >rofe8ia della povertL' p# 3/#
$C
:ord ,hrist inspire their thoughts' give them the courage of
prophecy and the love to live in communion this stage on the
)ourney of the ,hurch' so important for all the families of the
%orld#
;This message is a summary of the pastoral eperiences and proposals shared
by the participants of the seminar organised by ,aritas Internationalis and the
>onti&cial ,ouncil for the Family' on $Ath September /C$4 at >ala88o San
,alisto' in vie% of the Assembly of the Synod of "ishops on the family<
Matican ,ity' $st 2ctober /C$4
$$