[26] ANGER

KURTS POV

Crystalline Get your hair relaxed at its best!

Napangiti nalang ako matapos naming mapanuod ang bagong TV commercial ni
Crystal. Though its somehow maddening in my part because it has an appropriate
scene for me, I got happy of its outcome still. I cant believe that shell get into
entertainment that quick. Parang ilang buwan pa lang ang nakalipas, kasa-kasama ko
pa siya. Were supposed to be a family until sh*t happened.
I suddenly remember how Crystal and I met unexpectedly. What happened
yesterday kept on bugging even in my sleep. I still couldnt believe that shes the one
who rescued my dog and its supposedly our dog, also.
Yan yung sinasabi ni Princess noon na kamukha ko ah!
What Toffer said caught my attention. Kamukha?
Oo. Crush niya daw yan eh. Ano nga bang pangalan nyan?
Jake smacked his arm to stop him from thinking. Kailan niya sinabi yan? Kapal mo ah!
G-ago, sinabi niya talaga yun. Kailan nga ba yun? He paused and looked away,
seemed to be remembering something. Aha! Nung nasa Tagaytay tayo para sa baby
shower ni Baby Ky -- Potek! Bat ka nambabatok, Jake?!
Tss. Huwag na kasing madaldal. Ibabalik pa ang nakaraan eh.
Napailing nalang ako sa mga pinagsasasabi nila. Alam nilang sensitive pa rin ako
hanggang ngayon tuwing pinag-uusapan namin si Kyra. I cant help not to be sensitive
when we talk about my child The memories are still fresh. I cant just drop those off
my mind.
Bakit mo nga pala kami pinatawag, Kurt? Alex suddenly asked.
Among my gangmates, only Toffer, Jake, Derrick and Alex came over my unit. May
pinagkakaabalahan kasi yung iba kaya di sila nakapunta. I sat on the couch next to
Toffer and with a smile on my lips, I said, Can you help me with Crystal?
All eyes are on me as though theyre studying my facial expression. Napangiti tuloy ako
lalo.
What? Can you help me? Shes back and I think thats for good.
Of course, well help you, nakatawang sabi ni Derrick na kanina pa nananahimik.
Nakakatawa lang, Master. Parang last year, ganito rin yung scenario niyo ni Princess.
Yun nga lang, you did it your way. You didnt ask for our help.
My lips pursed in confusion, but eventually, I nodded my head as the idea shoved into
my mind. Okay, I remember what everyone told me. Kinulit-kulit ko raw noon si Crystal
pagkauwi niya galing Germany.
I smiled at the thought. Then, tell me what had I done to make her come back to me.
Maybe, itll work this time again.
I dont want to tell them what happened between me and Gail yesterday. Its better if Id
tell them about it once everythings alright and settled.
Kurt, Alex called out my name and our sight shifted to him. Serious expression
plastered on his face. Kung titimbangin natin kung anong nangyari 4 years ago pati na
rin yung nangyari 6 months ago, ano ang mas matindi?
I fell silent and turned my head down. It feels sh*t when you want to remember anything
but you just cant. That sucks bigtime. Im just relying on the things everyone had told
me.
Namatayan kayo ng anak. Mas grabe to kesa sa nangyari four years ago. Hindi natin
alam kung naka-move on na siya o hindi pa, pero alam kong masakit pa rin yun para sa
kanya hanggang ngayon.
I sighed and planted my face on my palms. Fcvk, I feel so helpless. I waited for her for
long and now that shes back, I dont know how I will deal with her.
Ano nang gagawin ko? I badly want to talk to her.
I felt someone tapping my head. Wala na akong maitatago sa kanila. They saw me
through ups and downs. Kahit umiyak ako dito, wala na akong dapat ikahiya.
Wala naman akong sinabing hindi mo siya pwedeng kausapin. Ang akin lang,
siguraduhin mong seryoso ang bawat kilos mo. Hindi yung parang dadaanin mo lang sa
pa-astigan katulad nung ginawa mo last year. Maybe, you should ask her out on a date.
Then, you talk things out with her. That way, you can talk to each other more clearly and
calmly. Yung hindi nagkakasakitan.
Kaya nga, Master! Tama na ang drama. Makakapag-usap din kayo ni Princess. Tiwala
lang, Derrick said, trying to lighten up everyones mood. I tilted my head up, looked at
them and I saw their smiles for me. Huwag mong madaliin, Master. Kung ako sayo, do
it slowly but surely Kapag nagkabalikan na kayo, gumawa ulit kayo ng bagong baby.
Ay hindi pala! Magpakasal muna kayo tapos gumawa kayo ng maraming babies. Edi
tapos ang problema!
Loko! Parang ang daling gumawa ng bata ah. Palibhasa, hustler ka, komento ni Jake
at natawa nalang kami.
Derrick then gave him a smug. Madali lang. Ano ka ba! And then he looked to me with
that cocky smile of his. Ano, Dude? Gusto mo ng techniques?
Tss. I dont need your stupid guidelines or whatsoever, I replied and chuckled
unbelievingly on his offer.
I saw Alex rolled a magazine and that landed on Derricks face. Mag-ingat ka nga,
Derrick. Puro kalibu-g-an yang iniisip mo. Baka unahan mo pa si Kurt na magkaanak
eh.
All of us laughed out loud. Heck, I wouldnt get surprise if one day Derrick tells us that
hes having a baby. On how he acts and thinks, he might probably have pervert issues
in his mind.
Oy! Oy! Wala pa akong balak maging tatay. Pfft! Imposible! Mga limang taon pa. Sa
ngayon, magiging generous muna ako sa mga babae. Hahahaha!
Toffer stood up and I could see how irritated he is now. Walang kwenta ang pinag-
uusapan niyo. Puro kamany-akan! Nakakacorrupt ng utak.
Oy, saan ka pupunta? Jake asked after him.
Toffer headed to the door and before he could get out of my unit, he said, Pinapauwi
na ako ni Mama! Balitaan niyo nalang ako! And he left us, still laughing.
Napailing nalang ako. Kakaiba talaga ang lokong yun. Lagpas na siya sa puberty stage
pero Mamas boy pa rin. Tss.
Kurt, pero seryoso ako. Anong balak mo kapag nagkaayos na kayo ni Gail? Pakasalan
mo na dapat siya agad-agad, Derrick suddenly butted in.
I sat up properly and placed my feet on the center table coolly. Once she gets back to
me, I will never let her get away from me.
They just gave me a grin and shook their heads. Isnt it hard to believe?
Naks! Siguraduhin mo lang, Dude. Daig ka pa ng half-brother mo eh. Ikakasal na ulit
siya next week, sabi niya ulit.
My brow creased in confusion. Liam has never told that to me. How come?
Oh! Hinagis niya sa akin ang purple invitation at agad ko naman tong binasa. Hes
right. Liam is getting married again for the second time. Pangalawang beses na siyang
magpapakasal, samantalang ikaw, hindi naman matuloy-tuloy. Tsk tsk!
I let out a sigh and threw the invitation back to him. Ill get married also soon when
Crystal forgives me already.
Jake chuckled and showed to me his salute gesture. Idol, kaya yan! Consistent ka eh.
Redundant pa! He then turned to Derrick, Eh kung si Master nalang kaya ang
magbigay ng invitation kay Kaye Anne? Dun din naman nakatira sa village na yun si
Gail diba? Oh, pwede siyang dumalaw dun kay Princess.
My head snapped up. Invitation?
Oo, gusto mo bang ikaw nalang ang magbigay? Humingi ng pabor sa akin si Liam eh.
Ibigay ko daw kay Kaye Anne. Anak ng tokwa yung Liam na yun! Ginawa pa akong
messenger.
Sumingit naman si Jake. Masokista ka rin naman eh! Pumayag daw ba sa pagiging
bestman sa kasal ng babaeng mahal niya? Pfft! Sarap mong tanggalan ng nguso!
Adik! Huwag ka ngang epal, Derrick got up from the couch and handed to me the
other invitation where Kaye Annes name was written. Mas mabuting ikaw nalang ang
magbigay kay Kaye Anne. Makalayas na nga!
Hahaha! Pikon ka lang Monteverde eh!
Jake, tigilan mo nga yan si Derrick. Kitang brokenhearted eh, suway ni Alex.
Tamo to si Alex! HINDI AKO BROKENHEARTED!!!!

While theyre teasing Derrick, my eyes settled on the invitation on my grip. Maybe nows
the time to speak to Crystal I hope shes in their house now.

***

Later that day, I drove all the way to Kaye Annes house. When I finally arrived infront of
Kaye Annes house which happened to be upfront Gails, I couldnt help but to stare at
the house wondering if shes inside. I didnt even realize that I was staring for long until
somebody came out of the gate behind me.
Uh, Kurt Bakit ka nandito?
It was Kaye Annes voice. I tilted my head back and saw her with Nathan. Theyre both
smiling at me. May ibibigay lang ako sayo.
Bakit di ka kaagad nag-buzz? Nathan asked and Kaye Anne nudged him. Ano?
Umuwi ka na, Nathan.
Oo na, bye. Bukas, kulet ha?
Oo na. Alis na!
Ge lang. Pagtabuyan mo ako, Nathan said whle walking towards his car and then
abruptly turned to face me. Bumalik na daw siya dre ah!
I smiled and nodded. Im not stupid not to think who hes talking about.
Bye, pandak!
Before Nathan could step in his car, he looked to Kaye Anne on my left. I wonder what
is going on with the two of them. Theyre acting real strange.
Kurt, kami na.
I eyed Nathan confusedly but eventually nodded on what he butted out. Im not even
asking Why the hell did he say that to me then?
Umalis ka na nga!!! Kaye Anne said and Nathan went off while laughing.
I turned to face Kaye Anne and caught her blushing. Tss. Fine, theyre into each other
When will I be like them then?
Ah Ahm, ano nga pa lang ibibigay mo, Kurt?
I grinned and handed to her the invitation. You dont need to be shy. One heck of a
playgirl, arent you huh?
Hala! Hindi ah!! Naku! Naku! Naku! Kung wala ka lang amnesia, magiging masaya ka
talaga para sa akin. Marami kang alam eh! Diary kaya kita noon! Hmp!
Ha?
She beamed and winked to me. Never mind. Kapag bumalik na ang alaala mo,
maiintindihan mo rin ang sinasabi ko, she slapped my arm and giggled. Sana talaga
bumalik na
I hope so, too
I hope as soon as possible na Nakabalik na si Gail eh.
That name automatically resounded in my mind. I didnt realize then that I walked
towards Gails house. I stared at it for a long time, thinking if Ill press the buzzer or not.
Should I speak to her now? Will she allow me to talk to her?
Kaye Anne ran towards me. Kurt, anong ginagawa mo dyan?
I sighed and ran my fingers on my hair in frustration. I want to talk to her badly.
Pero Kurt, hindi dyan umuuwi si Gail. Naka-check in sila sa hotel. Ni hindi ko pa nga
siya nakikita eh.
I looked to her and Im sure she could see how badly I need her help. Can you
accompany me to her, Kaye Anne? Please?
This is not a request nor an order perhaps its a beg.
S-sige Itetext nalang kita bukas kapag nakapag-set na ako ng appointment. Aloof din
kasi siya sa akin eh.

I hope its going to be sooner or later Gusto ko na talaga siyang makausap.


GAILS POV

While I was busy watching my own commercial all over again, Jade butted inside my
bedroom. I ignored her and still focused my sight on my laptop. D-amn, if not for these
five gorgeous guys, it wouldnt turn out well as it is. Sila talaga ang nagdala ng
commercial na ito at hindi ako.
Miss Gail, may nagtext po
I cut off her words and gave her an eye smile. Is the TVC already out in the networks?
Opo. Actually, kasabay po ang paglabas sa TV ng TVC niyo nung product launching
kagabi.
Oh, so kagabi pa I murmured and focused back on my laptop. I laid my back on the
headboard and played the video again. I still cant believe that I worked with Koreas
one of the best K-pop group. I will never ever forget this
"Si T.O.P... Nakauwi na ba?"
"Uh, opo. After the conference meeting last night, lumipad na rin po siya pabalik ng
Seoul."
Sayang. Ito na siguro yung huli naming pagkikita. After this commitment, babalik na ulit
ako sa pag-aaral. Well, it is still an honor for me working with 'em.
Miss Gail, she called to me again in a low voice. Nagtext po kagabi ang pinsan mo.
From the laptop, my eyes shifted to her. Si Kaye Anne?
Opo.
What did she say?
Honestly, Im still not ready to meet anyone of them. I suddenly remember how Kurt and
I met unexpectedly 2 days ago. Ive never thought of meeting him somewhere since I
landed back in here. I mean to say Im not planning of meeting him It just all
happened unexpectedly. He owned the dog that I have gotten in the cemetery. Who
would have thought of that?
Ayun po yun sinabi niya. Makikipagkita po ba kayo?
I blinked twice absent-mindedly. I didnt get what she said. Im sorry. You were
saying
Uh, sabi po ni Miss Kaye Anne na gusto ka raw po niyang makita ngayong araw.
Actually po, kagabi pa po siya nagtext eh. Parang urgent po Makikipagkita ka po ba?
Tell her Im busy, I said sourly.
Pero po Miss Gail, sabi niya raw po, kung hindi ka pupunta, siya mismo ang
magpupunta dito.
Sh*t, I mumbled and turn off my laptop. Bakit ba ang kulit niya? Makikipagkita naman
ako sa kanila pero hindi pa sa ngayon. I sighed and composed myself. Ask her if shes
going alone.
Sige po, she said and did what I told her to do. After a few seconds, she turned to face
me again with a hopeful look on her face. Shes going alone daw po.
I stood up and tied my hair up. I have to freshen up before going anywhere. Tell her to
meet me at lunch in the resto downstairs.

If only she wasnt not close to my heart, then I would have still kept on avoiding her.

***

Hours passed by like a blur. Its already lunch time and Im here in the resto, waiting for
Kaye Anne to come. Kahit kailan talaga, laging mabagal yun. Namimiss ko naman siya
kaso hindi pa lang akong handang harapin siya. Hindi pa akong handang sagutin ang
usual na tanong na
Gail
Throughout my idling, I didnt see that Kaye Anne has already arrived. Umupo siya sa
harapan ko at nginitian ako. Ganun pa rin siya. She didnt change But what I noticed
about her that shes effin blooming.
I smiled. Kamusta ka na? Kamusta ka na?
It has been a couple of seconds of awkward silence. Kundi pa kami sabay na tumawa,
siguro maiilang na talaga kami sa isat-isa. Not that I find her awkward, its just that I
dont fvcking know how to start a conversation with her.
Ayos lang naman ako. Ikaw?
I looked at her straight in the eye. What do you think?
M-mukha ka namang maayos. Hindi ko alam. Okay ka lang ba, Gail?
The side of my lips raised automatically. Thats the reason why I am not ready to face
them. That simple question hasnt had an answer yet. Glad that youre fine, I said
switching the subject. You look beautiful. Kamusta na kayo ni Austin?
She was taken aback with my question based on her expression. I wonder why
Hehe..he, she laughed awkwardly. Wala na kami. Kami na ni Nathan.
Oh, I got the glass of water and drank on it. Hindi na ako magugulat. Thats kinda
expected from the start.
Dumating na ang waiter dala-dala ang inorder ko para sa aming dalawa. Sinadya ko ito
para hindi na kami maghintay ni Kaye Anne ng matagal. Alam ko namang mahilig
siyang kumain at for sure, magugustuhan niya ito. Italian cuisine is always good.
Gail
Save it for later, Kaye Anne. Kain muna tayo?
I started eating my food but I noticed Kaye Anne didnt move. She was just staring still
at me. I got d-amn conscious thats why I wiped my lips with the napkin.
Kaye Anne, whats wrong?
She eyed me worriedly. That made me fcvking guilty towards my actions. How could I
forget? Of course shes mad at me. I avoided her a couple times before. Kailangan ko
bang magpaliwanag na ngayundin?
I took in a deep breath and eyed her seriously. Kaye Anne, Im sorry if I avoided you. Si
Chloe din, hindi ko hinarap nung nagpunta siya sa Seoul. I have my reasons
Nahihirapan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.
She just stared at me for a moment. She then, smiled faintly to me and gave me a nod
that made me feel the relief.
T-thanks, Kaye Anne, I smiled.
Gail hindi ko alam kung bakit pero bigla akong kinabahan sa tono ng boses niya.
Sorry din.
You dont have to be
She shook her head cutting my words off. Hindi. Sabi ko sayo, mag-isa lang akong
pupunta dito. Sorry kung di ako tumupad sa usapan natin, she stood up and looked to
the doorway. I followed whats shes looking up and to my shock, I saw him again.
Nakiusap siya na tulungan ko siya para makausap ka.
Sh*t
Gail, maiwan ko na kayo.
My heart was thumping real hard as well as my veins seemed to be popping up
anytime. Those feelings got back into me the anger, hatred, pain I felt all the
emotions I had a couple of months ago. My lips started to tremble like hell as I saw him
walking towards me.
Crystal
My hands curled into fist. I stood up and met his gaze fiercely. I dont give a d-amn on
everyone. I dont even give a d-amn if Kaye Anne gets mad at me. All I want is to
release my emotions.
What are you doing here? I said through gritted teeth.
Nakipagtitigan lang siya sa akin. Mata sa mata.
Gusto lang kitang makausap.
My initial reaction? I impulsively got the glass of water and spilled it off to his face. I
dont care if were making a scene. So, what?
Gail, Kaye Anne held me in my arms but I just shoved her away. Tinignan ko ulit ng
masama si Kurt. Hindi man lang siya nagreact sa pagbuhos ko sa kanya ng tubig. I
want you to go to hell and never show yourself to me.

I left the scene, still cursing him in my mind Isa rin yan sa mga reason kung bakit
ayokong magpakita sa kanila. They will just pull us back together. Fvck everyone!!


---
A/N: I'm very sorry kung 'di ako nakapag-update last weekend. Wala akong load sa
broadband lels. 'Di rin ako sure kung makakapag-update ako sa weekend kasi busy
ako. Will go to the Pop Fiction Fstival sa Market! Market! mall... Bahala na. Baka
makiwifi ng tab nalang :3 Nakadraft na rin naman. Lol. Sa mga pupunta sa Sabado, see
you there!
[27] NEW LIFE WITH A NEW LOVE

GAIL'S POV

I never expected him to come. Fvcking sh*t. All the emotions I've been hiding through
me burst out awhile ago. Whenever I see his face, memories kept flashing in my mind...
How he hit me for a stupid reason, how he left me during my labor and how Kyra died in
my arms...
"Fvck!"
"Gail!"
I know that Kaye Anne's running after me that's why I rushed into the elevator but sh*t
happened, she stopped the lift from closing and went inside.
"Gail, sorry."
I rolled my eyes and made a face. "Meeting you is fine with me until that ba-stard came.
Really, Kaye Anne? How could you be so insensitive?"
"Akala ko kasi..." She sighed and held my arm. "Sorry, 'di ko na uulitin. Umaasa lang
naman ako na magkakaayos kayo ni Kurt eh."
Bumukas ang elevator at dumiretso na ako palabas, shoving her hand off my arm.
Sinundan niya pa rin ako hanggang sa suite ko.
"Don't expect us to get back together. Kasi ngayon pa lang sinasabi ko nang wala ng
pag-asa!"
I slumped on the couch and so did she. She was looking guiltily on me.
"Wala na ba talaga?"
I abruptly shook my head. "I don't have feelings for him at all. Kung meron man akong
nararamdaman para sa kanya, yun ay pagkasuklam."
"Gail, galit ka lang kaya mo nasasabi yan."
"No," I untied my hair and brushed it with my fingers. "Angry or not, I still f^cking despise
him. I want him out of my life."


***


You've changed a lot. Yan ang sinabi sa akin ni Kaye Anne kahapon. She told me that I
changed both positively and negatively. Positive? Kasi I became tougher daw.
Negatively? Should I say it still? Well, it's because I curse now.
"Gail, buti pumayag ka na magshopping kasama ako."
I smiled and mouthed her, "Of course."
Kagabi, dun natulog si Kaye Anne sa suite ko. That's a good thing for me because we
got a chance to talk seriously with each other. We talked about a lot of things and that
included how Austin and her broke up and of course, how she ended up with Nathan.
I'm happy for her. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, she's one hell of a lucky girl having Nathan in
her life. But in the back of my mind, I wished that I should have chosen him from the
start... Hindi ko na sana naranasan ang masaktan ng ganito.
Well, that's life and I must f-cking face what it may bring to me.
"Nagugutom na ako. Kain muna tayo, Gail?"
"Sure," I answered as we wandered in the mall.
We decided to go out today for a bonding time. Syempre, pumayag na rin ako dahil it's
about time to make it up to her. We were in the middle of looking for a restaurant when
my eyes caught one couple heading to our direction...
"Sina Chloe ba yun?"
Huminto kami sa paglalakad at tumingin din dun si Kaye Anne. "Hala, oo nga no'? Akala
ko ba hindi pa sila nakakauwi galing sa honeymoon nila? Tara, Gail!"
Kaye Anne pulled me by the arm towards them. Habang papalapit kami, bigla akong
nakaramdam ng guilt. Ilang beses ko silang iniwasan noong gusto nila akong dalawin
sa Seoul.
"Chloe! Dustin!"
And there it goes... Tumingin sila sa amin. We stopped infront of them. As our eyes met,
I saw her raising one eyebrow. The typical gesture of her.
"Chloe..." I called out weakly.
She smiled sarcastically. "Wow. Nakauwi ka na pala?"
Tumingin ako kay Dustin. Tinanguan niya ako. I gave him a slight smile.
"Yeah, I came back 2--"
"Kaye Anne!"
Nagulat ako nang iwasan niya ako at inakbayan si Kaye Anne. Medyo napaatras pa ako
kasi sinadya niyang banggain ako. Who would have not get mad at me, of course!? I've
been acting such a b*tch to them for the past months.
"Kaye Anne, namiss kita."
A sigh escaped my lips. "Chloe, gusto kitang makausap. May ipapaliwanag ako pero
hindi dito."
Lumingon siya sa akin. Nakataas pa rin ang isang kilay. "Wala akong oras--"
"Chloe naman! Magpapaliwanag nga siya eh!" Singit ni Kaye Anne.
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Oo na! Oo na! Bawal mag-inarte kagaya niya?"


Sunod-sunod na sermon ang natanggap ko kay Chloe pagkatapos kong magpaliwanag
sa kanya. What I told her was as same as I told Kaye Anne. Si Dustin, nagpaalam muna
na pupunta sa isang Sport's shop. We need a time to have a girl talk nga naman daw.
"Mali pa rin ang ginawa mo. Kaibigan mo ako. Pinsan mo siya. Nakalimutan mo bang
best of friends tayo?"
"Fine, I'm wrong. Gusto ko lang namang tumayo sa sarili kong paa. I don't want to rely
on you again... Lagi nalang ako--"
"Blah! Blah! Blah! Tama na," putol niya sa akin. Napailing nalang tuloy si Kaye Anne.
"Lumayo ka na nga tapos iiwasan mo pa kami? Sabihin mo nga Gail, tama ba yun?"
I sipped on my fruit shake and turned my head down. I have nothing to defend myself.
They're all right.
"Tapos, hindi mo pa nasabi na magiging Top endorser ka? At eto pa ah! Nagpose ka ng
bareback mo sa highway. Por Dios!" Chloe hysterically added.
Natawa naman si Kaye Anne. "But what's coolest among your ads is... yung kasama
mo ang Big Bang! Kyaaah!"
At ayun, mukhang nagiba na ang pader sa pagitan naming tatlo. I could now breathe
properly... At least, hindi na sila galit sa akin. That fast. Thanks heavens!
"Geez! T.O.P yun! Anak ng! Ganda mo, sissy! Ba't 'di mo tinuloy yung halikan?!"
I giggled remembering the actual scene. "I wish I could. But that's what written on the
script."
Hinampas naman ako ni Kaye Anne. "Gwapo ba si GD ha???"
"Lahat sila gwapo," tumingin naman ako kay Chloe. "As well as Taeyang..."
"Shemay! Iniwasan mo pa kasi ako non eh! Edi sana, naki-sneak in ako dun sa shooting
n'yo!"
Medyo nagtagal din kami sa cafe' na pinagtatambayan namin. We talked about a lot of
things. Hindi ko na nga namalayan na isang oras na rin pala kami dun sa cafe'.
"Hindi ba nakakahiya dito? Ang tagal na natin nag-i-stay dito," Kaye Anne whispered to
us.
"We're eating. What's wrong with that?" I commented and turned to Chloe. "How was
the honeymoon? Did it go well?"
That made her cheeks blushed. Okay, I think I hit a sensitive part.
"Ayos naman," she replied.
"Ayos ka rin, Chloe eh! Hindi ka man lang nagsabi na nandito ka na pala. Kailan ka nga
pala nakabalik?" Kaye Anne asked while eating her sansrival.
"Last weekend pa. Actually, napaaga ang uwi namin kasi..."
"Kasi...?" Sabay na tanong namin ni Kaye Anne. Weird... Why does she look so
bothered?
"Kasi... Buntis ako. 3 months na ngayon."
"WHAAAAT?!?"
Nalaglag ko yung hawak kong fork sa pagkabigla. My eyes automatically brushed down
her belly. Kaya pala tumaba siya. Well, nothing's wrong with that. She's married.
"'Di nga?" Tanong ni Kaye Anne. "Eh, 1 month pa lang kayong naghahoneymoon ni
Dustin. WOAH! Don't tell me ginawa niyo yun before---"
"MANAHIMIK KA NGA! INGAY MO!"
Natawa nalang kami ni Kaye Anne dahil naghihysterical na si Chloe. She was blushing
like hell and I bet she's uncomfortable about the topic.
"Seriously...?" I added.
She nodded her head weakly. "Unfortunately, oo. Buntis ako."
My brow arched upwards. "Unfortunately? Ba't unfortunately? Ayaw mong mabuntis?"
Nung makita naming nag-pout si Chloe, nagtinginan na kami ni Kaye Anne.
"Ano kasi... Natatakot ako. Natatakot ako na baka matulad ako sa nangyari sa anak mo,
Gail."
Thud.
That felt like a stab in my heart. I still managed to smile away and composed myself
before facing her again.
"That won't ever happen to you. I trust Dustin and I know, he won't do what Kurt had
done to me. Hindi ka niya iiwan. Aalagaan ka niya."
My eyes gazed down on the ice cold coffee she was drinking. Kinuha ko yun at umiling
sa kanya.
"Avoid cold beverages. That's bad for your baby," paalala ko.
"Uh, bakit? Bakiw ikaw noon, naka-ice cream pa?"
I fainted a smile. I hate it everytime I remember my pregnancy. I badly miss Kyra.
"Bawal sa mga buntis ang malalamig. Lumalaki ang baby sa tiyan. 'Wag mo kong
tularan. I was too stupid that time that I didn't even know what's wrong and right."
"Naks," Kaye Anne butted in. "Oy, sissy. Makinig ka! Supportive kami oh."
"Thank you..."
I got up from the chair and signaled them to move out. "Let's go?"
"Where to?"
I shrugged. "I suddenly remember the stuffs you guys had given to me a couple of
months ago. Maybe now's the time to give those to you..."


From the mall, we drove straight in the condo where I used to lived. The feeling is
nostalgic. Matagal-tagal na rin ang nakalipas nung huli akong pumunta sa condo na ito.
I never thought of coming back in here but I guess, I have to now.
"Sigurado ka ba dito, sissy? Nandito sa condo na ito nakatira ang taong
kinasusuklaman mo. Duh!"
I smiled fiercely to Chloe. Nasa elevator na kami paakyat sa floor kung saan ako
nakatira noon.
"Gail, pwede namang ipautos mo nalang--"
TIIIING!
Bumukas ang elevator. Lumabas ako kasunod sila Chloe at Kaye Anne. The moment I
stepped infront of my unit's door, that's exactly when Wayne came out from his unit.
"Princess??"
Without looking back, I unlocked my unit and stormed in, with Chloe and Kaye Anne
after me, ignoring Wayne. I went upstairs and dazed in directly inside my walk-in closet.
Iniwasan kong tumingin sa kama ko. Lahat ng bagay dito sa unit ko, nagpapaala ng
nakaraan ko.
"Gail..."
I breathed in and turned to face them. "Lahat ng 'to, ibibigay ko na sa baby mo, Chloe.
Whether it's a boy or a girl, may magagamit ka pa rin naman dito."
Their eyes showed sorrow. Napangiti tuloy ako at napatawa.
"Okay lang, ano ba kayo! Sayang naman ang mga niregalo niyo sa akin nung baby
shower kung 'di na mapapakinabangan. Wala na rin naman akong baby eh."
Binuksan ko yung isang cabinet at nakita ko kaagad yung malaking box na naglalaman
ng baby crib. I remember who gave this to me. Si Wayne.
"My baby's supposed to be an infant now. Crying and giggling and sleeping inside this
crib," I touched the box repeatedly. Until now, I can still feel my grief for Kyra. "Too
bad... Ilang araw ko lang siyang nahagkan."
"Gail..."
"It's okay," I roamed my sight in the room. Medyo marami ang baby stuff ang nandito. "I
wish your baby would be a girl."
Lumapit silang dalawa sa akin. Nagulat nalang ako nang yakapin nila ako ng sabay.
Matagal-tagal na rin ang nakalipas simula nang maramdaman ko ang ganitong klaseng
yakap mula sa mga kaibigan. It feels comfortable.
"Magiging okay din ang lahat," sabi ni Kaye Anne.
"Makakahanap ka rin ng lalaking papahalagahan ka."
Napangiti ako sa sinabi ni Chloe. "I'd prefer Chloe's wish for me rather than yours, Kaye
Anne. I'd want to have a new life with a new love."
Nagkatinginan silang dalawa saglit. As what I've seen on their faces, they must be
hesitant.
"Kurt, ayaw kasi--"
I cut Chloe's words off. "5 minutes. Mag-uusap lang kami."
I felt relieved as I saw them nod.
"Gail, sa baba lang kami ha? Hihintayin ka namin," paalam ni Kaye Anne bago nila kami
iwan.
SILENCE...
She wasn't looking at me nor talking to me. Her back is on me. Nakayuko lang siya
habang nilalagay sa isang bag ang ilang baby stuff.
I pulled my guts together as I walked closer to her.
"Crystal..."
"I never planned on getting back to you, Kurt. Nandito ako para ibigay ang mga ito kay
Chloe." She faced me and look at me in the eye, hard expression on her face. "Don't
expect anything from me. Magmumukha ka lang kaawa-awa."
I held her hand but she just wriggled it and stepped out of the walk-in closet. Sinundan
ko siya palabas at pinigilan siya sa braso.
"Crystal, ano bang gagawin ko para mabalik lang tayo sa dati? Nahihirapan na ako."
She looked at me again, and hastily, removed my grip on her arm.
"Wala na, Kurt. Wala ng ibabalik. Matagal na kitang inayawan."

I don't know how long she has left me in this room. Nawala ako sa sarili. I just found
myself sitting on the edge of the bed alone... Curling my fist on the comforter... staring
blankly at the floor.
She's just mad at me. Hindi pa niya siguro natatanggap na wala na ang anak namin. I
know for sure that she'll forgive me and I'll wait for that time to come. I might find it hard,
yet I won't get tired of getting her back to me. Naniniwala akong papatawarin niya pa
ako.
... Hindi man ngayon, pero hihintayin ko ang araw na yun.
"Sorry, Crystal..." I murmured as I fell on the bed. Ilang saglit lang ay narinig kong
tumunog ang cellphone ko. Without looking at its screen, I tapped the answer key and
placed it on my ear.
"Hello...?"
["Kurt, p..pwede ba tayong mag-usap? I'll meet you at the E.H.U campus on the 6th."]
"Mariz???" I snapped at the voice.
["I missed you...?"]

Sh*t!


---
A/N: I'm terribly sorry dahil hindi ako naka-UD kahapon. I was at the Pop Fiction
Festival. I tried to connect to the wifi pero ayaw talaga. I swear, habang nagpoprogram
sila dun, ako naman, busy sa pagyuko at pagtap sa tab ko. Ahahaha! Pero to make it
up to you guys, mag-uupdate din ako later tonight at tomorrow. Basta yung votes and
comments ha? ^_^
[28] HERE GOES MISS PUGNACIOUS

GAIL'S POV

Today's the 6th of May. For the past two days, nag-geget together na kami nina Chloe
at Kaye Anne. Kahapon nga, binisita rin namin sina Sandy at Lovely sa residence nila.
This is my way of making up to them. Kahit papa'no, nababawasan din yung dinadala
kong bigat sa dibdib ko.
About my friends lovers' which is happened to be part of the X10? I treat them casually.
I'm just being hella' cautious. Ayaw ko lang na mapadikit sa kanila at baka may
mangyari na namang patching-things-up-acts.
"Miss Rivera, hindi na ba talaga magbabago ang isip mo?"
I smiled at the dean infront of me. I'm currently talking to my former dean. I'm actually
saying my farewell to her for I've been planning of getting away from this University. I'm
living my new life and that's the first thing I should do.
"I'm sure about it, Dean."
She handed me a folder with my docs inside. Ngumiti siya ng malungkot. "You're a
good student. Akala ko, dito ka gagraduate."
"Things messed up po. I hope you understand, dean."
"I do... Nakakapanghinayang lang ang isang taon."

Pagkatapos ng formal talk namin ng College dean ko, lumabas na rin kami ni Jade ng
office. I decided to get my docs that I needed today so that we won't run out of time. I
only have one week left in the country, kaya kailangan ko nang gawin ang dapat kong
gawin.
"Miss Gail, ngayon pala ang first day ng enrolment ng E.H.U."
"Yeah, that's why I decided to get my stuff today. The earlier, the better. Baka mas
maging busy sila sa mga susunod na araw at hindi na nila ako maasikaso."
"Saan ka po mag-aaral?"
I shrugged and continued taking the pace out of the building. "I'm planning of going
back to the University of Heidelburg in Germany. At least, wala na akong aasikasuhin
pa masyado dun."
"Ay, ang layo po... Tatanggalin mo na po ba ako 'pag nag-aral ka na dun, Miss Gail?"
"Of course not."
Tumingin ako ng diretso sa dinadaanan ko. Pababa na kami ng hagdan nang may isang
pamilyar na babae akong nakita. My veins automatically throbbed in anger as I saw that
face again after a couple of months.
I started to walk down the stairs slowly, not dropping off my sight on her. She was also
meeting my gaze.
I smirked to myself then and murmured, "Watch out. Here goes Miss pugnacious."
"Ano po yun, Miss Gail?" Jade asked.
Bumagal din ang pag-akyat niya. Napansin kong huminto siya ilang baitang mula sa
pwesto ko. But I don't give a d-amn though. We were to walk past her when I heard her
speak. We are on the same step now.
"You're back... Kamusta?"
I stopped and tilted my head to her. "As you can see..."
"You look fine to me," she replied and faced me. "Ako? Hindi mo ba ako kakamustahin,
Gail?"
Humarap din ako sa kanya. We're now face to face... Meeting again the one who
wrecked my life.
"Bakit kita kakamustahin, Stephanie? As far as I remember, we've never been friends."
She arched a brow while staring intently at me. But then eventually, she beamed. "Why
don't you show a little amnesty for me, Gail? I know, we can't be friends after what
happened. But, can you at least move on? Wala na kayo ni Kurt. Ano pang kinagagalit
mo sa akin?"
Natawa ako ng sarkastiko. Naramdaman ko na rin ang hawak ni Jade sa akin sa likod
ko. How could this woman tell this sh*ts to me without even realizing what she had done
to me?
"Sige," sagot ko habang nakangiti pa rin. "Gusto mong kamustahin kita?"
She smiled and raised the envelope on her grip. "Let's be casual, Gail. Dito na rin ako
mag-aaral. Iisa na tayo ng ginagalawang University."
I took one step forward and without further ado, I gave her my hardest slap I could ever
give to a b*tch.
PAAAAAAAK!
Natulala siya. Sapo-sapo niya ang kaliwang pisngi na tinignan ako.
"There... Now, how are you, Stephanie? Masakit ba? O baka gusto mo pa ng isa?"
"B*tch!"
Nakita kong inangat niya ang kaliwang kamay niya. Akmang sasampalin niya na ako
pabalik nang pigilan ko ang kamay niya.
"Don't play little miss friendly, Mariz. Hindi bagay sayo. You just looked pathetic to me."
Her eyes narrowed in anger. Gotcha, I hit a nerve. Napangiti tuloy ako...
"Don't worry, Mariz. You can keep him for yourself. Hindi ako dito mag-aaral. Wala ka
ng kaagaw," I let go of her wrist and turn my back on her. "Kawawa ka naman. Para
kang mauubusan ng lalaki. Let's go, Jade."

Hindi pa man ako nakakadalawang hakbang pababa sa hagdan, naramdaman ko
nalang na may humablot sa buhok ko. Sa sobrang lakas ng impact, napaupo tuloy ako.
F-ck, I knew this would happen.
"Sh*t!!!"
"B*tch! Lakas na ng loob mo ngayon ah!"
"MISS GAIL!"
Tuloy-tuloy lang siya sa pagsabunot sa akin. Kung minsan pa ay nginungudngod niya
pa ang mukha ko sa sementadong hagdan. I can't even fight back! HELL! Her heel was
stepping on my back.
"TAMA NA PO!! TULONG!"
Pinipigilan siya ni Jade, but I can't clearly see a thing. Mukhang napikon nga siya sa
akin.
"Magsasawa din sayo si Kurt! You're tough huh! Don't you remember Kurt chose me
over you?? Kaya ka nga namatayan ng anak. He chose me, B*tch!! Suck it!!"
Sh*t! I started to feel dizzy. Masakit ang bawat paghablot niya sa buhok ko. Kung
minsan ay kinakalmot niya pa ako. F-ck!
"You'll pay for this!!"
"As if you can! Suit yourself! Mamatay ka na!"
Naramdaman ko na naman ang pagtapak niya sa likod ko. I groaned in pain... Pumikit
nalang ako. May mga pumipigil na sa kanya pero 'di man lang siya matinag.
"STOP IT!!!"
Nakarinig ako ng isang boses ng lalaki. But I can't see him clearly. Inalalayan akong
tumayo ng ilang estudyante, at kasabay nun ay niyakap ako ni Jade.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry, Miss Gail! Tara sa hospital!"
Patuloy lang sa pag-alo sa akin si Jade. She was still hugging me while tapping my
back. Nakaharap ako kay Stephanie at dun ko lang napansin si Kurt.
He's here?
"K...Kurt, hindi ko s-sinasadya. Siya yung sumampal sa akin!"
Everyone around as gasped, including me as we saw him push her hard that made her
fall down the ground.
"Kuuurt..." And now, Mariz is crying.
"SAKTAN MO PA SIYA ULIT, KAKALIMUTAN KONG BABAE KA!!"

Yun na ang huli kong narinig mula sa kanya, dahil inalalayan na ako ni Jade na lumayo
na sa lugar na yun.

"Miss Gail, sorry talaga."
"Ayos lang ako. Stop crying."
"Eh kasi po... H-hindi ko po siya napigilan agad! Sigurado ka po bang ayaw mong
magpaospital?" She asked worriedly, still crying. I shook my head as answer. Papunta
na kami sa kotse ko. "Sino po ba yung bruhang yun?!? Magsampa tayo ng kaso sa
kanya! Physical injury yan, Miss Gail! She even threatened you! Maraming
nakawitness."
I grinned at the idea she gave me. Siguro, mali nga yung ginawa ko sa kanya kanina.
Hindi ko lang talaga napigilan ang sarili ko na hindi siya saktan. Kulang pa yun sa
ginawa niyang panghihimasok sa buhay namin noon. Kulang pa...
"I'll sue her," I said with conviction.
Inalalayan niya ako pasakay sa passenger's seat. Kung kanina ay ako ang nagdrive
papunta dito, siya na ngayon ang nagvolunteer na magdrive pauwi. I'm in d-amn pain.
While waiting for her to step in the driver's seat, I decided to close my eyes. Mas lalo
kong nararamdaman ang sakit ng ulo ko.
"Sir! Sir! Hindi po pwede!!"
"Trust me, Miss. I'll take care of her!"
BAAAAM!
Nagtaka ako sa narinig ko. Kahit na masama pa rin ang pakiramdam ko, pinilit kong
minulat ang mga mata ko at tumingin sa driver's seat. But instead of Jade, I saw him...
Again.
He's driving my car.
"Sh*t," I mumbled in gritted teeth. I sat properly and shot him my annoyed look. "What
the hell are you doing, Kurt?!"
"We'll talk, Crystal," he said and shifted his sight on the rear view mirror, looking at me
through it. "... I'll mend your wounds. Just trust me. Isang araw lang."
"Tatawag ako ng pulis! This is kidnapping!"
"I'll do it for you. Wala akong pakialam kahit makulong ako. Kausapin mo lang ako."
I swear, my brows almost met. Hindi ko siya maintindihan!
"Wala tayong dapat pag-usapan---"
He shut me up by pressing the horn repeatedly. Malalakas ang bawat paghampas niya
dun. Nakakabingi.
"Stop it, will you?!?!"
Tumigil naman siya at itinigil ang kotse ko sa gilid ng kalsada. Dun ko lang napansin na
nasa harapan kami ng isang police station. What are we doing here?!
"Now, it's your choice," he said and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Ipa-blotter mo
ako, Crystal. Pagkatapos ng isang araw, kapag hindi pa kita iniuuwi, ikulong nila ako.
Payag ako."
I met his stare. Hindi katulad noon, hindi na ako nakakaramdam ng kung anumang
espesyal sa kanya ngayon. For me, he's like a nobody...
"One day..." I murmured, stressing every word. "After the talk, will you leave me alone?"
He looked away, seemed taken aback of what I've asked.
"Sagutin mo ako. Kung ayaw mo, lumabas ka na sa kotse ko," I added.
It has been a moment of silence before he spoke again...
"It's either you ask me to leave you for good or you accept me again in your life.
Whatever your decision is, I'll take it."
I didn't speak a word. I was just sternly staring at him. I can see how he tightened his
grip on the steering wheel.
Ayoko siyang makausap pero...
"Let me go home before midnight..."
"Thank you," he smiled.
I turned my back on him and laid my head on the seat. I closed my eyes and tightened
my grip on my seatbelt.
"Start driving... Time's running..."

Let me hear your side, Kurt.

***

Napabalikwas ako nang may maramdaman akong malamig sa ulo ko, pati na rin ang
kirot sa braso ko. As I opened my eyes, his eyes met my gaze. Halos ilang inches
nalang yung pagitan ng mga mukha namin sa isa't-isa. But what surprised me is that he
didn't even get conscious when my eye flickered open. Pinagpatuloy lang niya ang pag-
ihip sa kilay ko.
Tinulak ko siya dahil sa gulat. "ANO BA!?!"
"I was just curing your wounds. What's wrong with that?"
Nalaglag yung icepack sa lap ko mula sa ulo ko. Napatingin tuloy ako dun. "Where did
you get this thing?"
"Binili ko sa dinaanan nating drugstore."
Pinagmasdan ko ang kabuuan ko. May gasa na yung iba kong kalmot sa braso, even
my cheek, may band-aide na.
"How are you feeling now? Any pain?" He asked.
I unconsciously touched my back. Sumunod ang tingin niya dito. "Yung likod ko...
Tinapakan niya kanina," I said, almost whispering.
"That b*tch. She completely lost her mind. I swear, I won't ever let her lay a finger on
you," he hissed.
I let out a deep sigh as he touched my back up and down. Kahit kailan, wala pang
nakasakit sa akin katulad ng ginawa sa akin ni Stephanie kanina. Tinapakan niya ako,
literally. I suddenly got uncomfortable with his touch, so I shoved her hand away from
me. Umiwas ako ng tingin at dun ko lang napansin na nakabukas ang pinto ng kotse sa
side ko. Tumingin naman ako sa side ni Kurt... Lahat ng pinto ay nakabukas.
"Why the hell are the doors open?" Lumabas ako ng kotse, at ganun rin siya. Napansin
ko nakapark ang kotse sa gilid ng kalsada. Not to mention, this is an empty road...
We're between ricefields for whoever's sake!
"Kurt! Nasaan tayo?!" I panickedly asked.
Kumamot siya sa batok niya at tumingin sa akin ng alanganin. Geez, no! Don't tell me...
"Nasiraan tayo ng kotse, Crystal."
SH*T!
"No way!"
Pumunta ako sa opposite side ng kotse ko at pumasok sa driver's seat. I tried to start its
engine but...
"Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!" It didn't start!!
"Crystal," he squatted outside while watching me. "Calm down."
"This is your fault!"
"Fine, put the blame on me."
Lumabas ako ng kotse at sa sobrang inis ko, sinipa ko ang gulong nito. "Dam-n it! Puro
nalang kamalasan!"
"Hindi ka ganyan dati..."
I turned to face him and I saw him taking off his jacket. "What?"
"Hindi ka nagmumura noon. Kahit gaano ka kagalit sa akin, kahit kailan 'di mo ko
minura." He handed to me his jacket and I wore it without saying anything. Gabi na at
medyo malakas pa ang hangin. I really need this. "Is that what you learned when you
left the country?"
"No," I abruptly said. "That's what I learned from you, idiot." I rolled my eyes and looked
to the road. "What are we going to do now? We're stucked!"
"It's 8PM already. Gutom ka na ba?"
Hindi ako sumagot. Malamang, gutom na ako! Hindi ko man lang namalayan na
matagal-tagal din pala akong nakatulog. Lunch pa lang ang nakakain ko.
"Maghintay nalang tayo ng tricycle na dadaan. Sasakay tayo dun..."
I sighed in frustration. "How about my car?! I can't just leave that here!"
"Calm down..."
"Ugh!" Sinipa ko na naman ang gulong ng kotse ko. I don't mind my body pain! Naiinis
ako! "8PM na? And we're here, stucked in the middle of nowhere. Now, what should we
do? How can I go home?!"
Tinitigan niya lang ako. D-amn! How can he act so cool at times like this?!
"Sorry but can we just extend this until tomorrow? You see, we still haven't talked to
each other. Tinulugan mo lang ako, Crystal."
"You tricked me!" I protested.
"I did not. Kasalanan ko bang sira ang kotse mo? Kung alam ko lang, edi sana yung
kotse ko nalang ang dinala natin," he said calmly.
I stomped my foot on the ground. Nakakabwsit na talaga! Ano pa bang magagawa ko?
"Where are we supposedly going???"
He shrugged. "Somewhere away from the city... And that place is almost 2 hours away
from here. Sana kanina pa tayo nakarating dun. Kung hindi lang tayo nastuck dito for
almost 2 hours."
"What? Nakakainis--"
Natigilan ako nang bigla nalang may nakita akong tricycle na padaan sa kalsada. Nakita
ko na kinawayan ni Kurt yung tricycle, hanggang sa tumigil sa tapat namin. Kinuha
muna ni Kurt yung mga gamit namin sa loob ng kotse and then locked all the doors.
Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ako sa wrist pagkatapos.
"Saan tayo pupunta? Pa'no ang kotse ko???"
"We'll ask for help," he said to me and then face the trike driver. "Dalhin mo kami sa
pinakamalapit na talyer."
Pagkasakay namin sa tricycle, halos gitgitin niya na ako sa loob. How I hate this day!
Wala na bang imamalas ang araw na ito???
"Wala na tayong magagawa, Crystal. We'll spend the night together in an Inn," sabi pa
niya habang mabilis na umaandar ang trike.

What the hell is Inn???


--
A/N: Tomorrow ulit ;)
A/N: Nag-update muna ako bago magbreakfast. Kaya ako namamayat eh. XD
---
[29] A NIGHT WITH HER

GAIL'S POV

This is bullsh*t! Akala ko, mag-uusap lang kami ni Kurt kung saan. Basta yung
makapagsolo lang kami. Pero... Pero... Argh! Hindi ko inexpect na ilalayo niya ako sa
City. At eto pa, nasiraan pa kami. Teka, pa'no yun masisira? Ayos naman yung kotse ko
ah!
The wind blew against my skin for the nth time of this night. Kurt left me for awhile to
pick my car up with the help of some folks. It's been a couple of minutes since he left,
pero kahit ilang minuto pa lang ang nakalipas, naiinip na ako sa kakahintay dito!
"Ugh." Natunaw ang kinakain kong popsicle at tumulo sa kamay ko. Umayos ako ng
upo sa monobloc chair at inihagis kung saan ang hawak ko. Matagal pa ba si Kurt?!
Phone rings...
I hurriedly got my phone out of my shoulder bag and tapped the answer key. It's Jade.
"Hello?"
["Miss Gail!!"]
I rolled my eyes, hearing her hysteria again. "Jade, I'm fine. You don't have to shout."
["Miss Gaaaail, inireport ko na po sa pulis ang.."]
"Hey! Take it back! Ba't mo nireport?" Ugh! Isa pa siya! Nakakastress!
["Po? Eh kinidnap ka po eh..."]
"I have not been kidnapped. Listen, Jade, I'm fine. Babalik din ako bukas." I massaged
the side of my head. I'm stressed! "Sinabi mo na rin ba ito kina Mom?"
["H-hindi po. Kasi po, ako yung papagalitan nila. Ang plano ko sana, kung hindi pa kita
makontak hanggang mamayang madaling araw, sasabihan ko na sila o baka po gusto
mo na pong sabihin ko ngayon?"]
"Don't let them know about this! I'm fine, really. Si Kurt... Siya yung..." I paused and
sighed deeply. "Ama ng anak ko. He's not a stranger. Don't worry about me."
Nakita ko na ang sasakyang sinakyan nila Kurt na hila-hila ang kotse ko mula sa
malayo kaya naman tumayo na ako.
["Miss Gail, sigurado ka--"]
"Ayos lang talaga ako. I'm hanging up now. I'll be home tomorrow. Bye," and I hung up
the phone. Sinalubong ko si Kurt nang makapag-park na sila. "How long will it be
fixed?"
"They'll fix it now. Tara na," sabay hatak niya sa akin palayo sa vulcanizing shop.
"Saan ba tayo pupunta? Alam mo ba 'tong lugar na ito?"
Hindi niya ako sinagot. Hinila niya ako patawid sa kabilang kalsada. Lakad lang kami ng
lakad hanggang sa huminto kami sa harap ng isang Inn.
"'Wag mong sabihing dyan tayo mag-i-stay??" I asked contemptuously.
Red building. Puro taxi ang mga pumapasok. The eff! No way!
"No choice," I heard him say.
"Nasaan na ba kasi tayo?!? May mga taxi naman. Ba't 'di nalang tayo umuwi?"
"We're here already. Might as well go in, shall we?" Hindi niya man lang ako hinayaang
makasagot. He immediately pulled me inside and spoke to the staff in the front desk.
The smell! It stinks!! I don't think I can stay here long.
"1 room... De Luxe."
"No," I interrupted. "Give us 2 separated rooms."
"Pa'no tayo mag-uusap kung magkaiba tayo ng kwarto?" He asked, raising a brow.
"Respect what I desire, Kurt. Magkahiwalay na kwarto ang gusto ko."
"No, we'll have one room," he said sternly and turned to the staff again. "Isang kwarto
para sa amin."
"Sir? Ma'am? Ano po ba talaga?" The staff asked confusedly.
"ONE ROOM with two beds. Can't you fck*ng get it?!" I blurt out to end up the
discussion. I badly want to lay on bed to rest!!

Pagkarating namin sa binigay sa aming deluxe room, dumiretso na agad ako sa
bathroom nang walang sabi-sabi. I want to relax for awhile. The good thing about the
place is, it's neat and clean... Bonus na rin siguro na may bathtub kaya dumiretso na
ako dun at nagbabad. This has been a very long day for me! Hindi pa ba matatapos ito?
Knock... Knock... Knock...
Hindi ako sumagot sa pagkatok ni Kurt mula sa labas. Bahala siyang manigas dun.
"Crystal, aalis muna ako saglit."
My eyes flickered open. Aalis siya? Iiwan niya akong mag-isa sa kwartong ito?
"Where the hell are you going?!"
Seconds and minutes had passed but I didn't hear his answer. Geez, iniwanan nga yata
ako! Umahon na ako sa bathtub at nagshower na. Dyan talaga magaling si Kurt... Sa
pag-iwan!
After I took a bath, that's just when I realized I haven't gotten any clothes to wear. Of
course, I won't re-wear what I've just used. AYOKO NG GANUN!


KURT'S POV

Here I am, sitting on the couch while carressing my dogs' fur, thinking about what
Crystal did to me yesterday. Based on how she looked at me, I won't deny that she's
still really flaring mad at me. I don't give a fcvk eventhough she embarassed me in
public. I know for sure that I deserve to be mistreated by her. I am hopeless. D-amn
hopeless.
Buzz... Buzz... Buzz...
"Tss..."
With the dogs in my arms, I got up from the couch and headed to the door. Sino na
naman ba 'tong istorbong 'to?
Pagkabukas ko ng pinto, nakita ko ang pagmumukha ni Wayne. My face automatically
formed a frown.
"Makikikain ka na naman??" I accused.
He shook his head quickly. He seemed tensed. "Master, si ano..."
"What?"
He pointed at the unit next to mine. "Si Gail. Nakita kong pumasok. Kasama niya sina
Chloe at Kaye Anne."
"Huh?"
I walked past him and was about to head to the unit, when he stopped me by my arm.
Nilingon ko siya.
"Master, dinedma ako eh. Baka dedmahin ka rin?"
"Tch, dyan ka lang."
I punched in the passcode and went inside. Nasa living room pa lang ako pero naririnig
ko na ang mga boses nila dito. Nakaramdam tuloy ako ng kaba. Baka katulad ng
nangyari kahapon, layasan niya lang ako.
... I'd still chase her anyway, until she gets tired of pushing me away.
Umakyat ako sa taas, papunta sa kwarto niya. Ibinaba ko sina Babes at Loves nang
makapasok na ako ng tuluyan sa bedroom. Their voice were coming from the walk in
closet.

"...I'd want to have a new life with a new love."
That's what I only heard. I can't be wrong. Alam kong si Gail yun.
Huminto ako sa harapan ng pinto ng walk-in closet at nakita ko sila Chloe at Kaye Anne
na nagyayakapan. I can't control myself not to smile at the scene. After a couple of
months, I saw the three of them together again.
"Kurt?"
Kaye Anne caught me staring at them. Ngumiti ako, pero hindi man lang siya ngumiti
pabalik. I saw Gail stiffened. They released from the embrace and look at me, worriedly,
except for her.
"Chloe, Kaye Anne... Pwede niyo muna ba kaming iwanan? We'll just talk for awhile."
"Kurt!"
Kinatok ko ang pinto, pero wala pa ring sumasagot mula sa labas. That's why I quickly
wore the bathrobe and got out of the bathroom. And I swear, my veins throbbed again in
anger when I didn't see him around.
"Bwsit! Nang-iwan nga talaga!" Pabagsak akong umupo sa gilid ng kama habang
pinapatuyo ang buhok ko gamit ng towel.
Maya-maya lang, nakarinig na ako ng pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto. That must be Kurt.
Ready na sana akong talakan siya kaso naunahan niya na ako.
"Kasya na siguro yan sayo?" Sabay bato niya ng isang plastic bag sa akin. Pagtingin
ko, duster ang laman nito. "Pagpasensyahan mo na yan. Yan lang ang tinda sa nakita
kong bukas na tindahan ng mga damit."
I rummaged what's inside of it, and my face heat up when I saw a pair of undies.
"Ayos na ba 'yan sayo?"
"Yea', thanks," I replied sourly and looked to him. May hawak din siyang plastic bag.
"Ikaw? May susuotin ka ba?"
"Oo. Gagamitin mo pa ba ang bathroom? Magshoshower na rin ako."
I turned my head down and shook my head. "Take it. Dito nalang ako magbibihis."

I wonder what happened to him after I left. Why does he still act nicely? Kahit ba kaunti,
hindi pa rin bumabalik ang mga alaala niya?


KURT'S POV

I already did my thing inside the bathroom. I've been staying here inside for about a half
an hour, calming myself before getting out. This time, rest-assured she won't get away
from me. Makakapag-usap na kami ng masinsinan. But what bothers me now is, it's
either she'll forgive me or she'll leave me for good.
I sighed and ran my fingers on my hair out of frustration. Minutes later, I fin'lly decided to
come out. Naabutan ko siyang nakaupo sa kama at nakaharap sa direksyon ko. She's
wearing the dress I bought for her.
"I'm famished. Hindi na kita hinintay," she said boredly while looking at the food she has
just eaten.
I sat down on my bed, facing her direction. The way she looks at me, I couldn't see any
pang of interest. Nag-iba na talaga siya.
"I'm tired, Kurt. If you want to speak to me, then say something."
I managed to smile a little. "How have you been since you left?"
"I had been depressed, pero ginawa ko ang lahat para makalimutan ko ang mga
nangyari dito," she said straight-forwardly without disconnecting our eye contact. "... My
Dad asked me if I want to be part of the company and I said yes. That's the reason why
I'm here... I came back just to do my commitment. Yun lang."
"Nagpunta ako dun para dalawin ka, pero hindi ka--"
She interrupted my words abruptly. "Don't worry, hindi lang ikaw ang iniwasan ko.
Maging ang mga kaibigan ko hindi ko sinipot nung dinalaw nila ako dun."
The way she speaks, it's like she hadn't known me. Para na siyang ibang tao.
"H...hindi mo na ba ako kayang patawarin, Crystal?" There, I fin'lly said it.
Ngumiti siya. Isang ngiting hindi ko pa nakikita noon sa kanya.
"Kaya kitang patawarin, pero hindi pa sa ngayon, Kurt. Alam kong 'di mo naman
kasalanan ang lahat. Nangyari lang 'to dahil sa babaeng yun... Nagkaamnesia ka,
namatayan tayo ng anak. Kung may mangyari pang masama iba bukod dun, hindi ko na
kakayanin, Kurt."
I let out a sigh as I maintaned an eye contact with her. From a smug, a hard expression
appeared her face.
"Sa dami ng nangyari sa atin, dun ko lang naisip na 'bat 'di nalang natin ito itigil?'. Ang
daming hadlang... Nakakasawa na. Kailan pa ba tayo titigil? Kung kailan may mamatay
sa ating dalawa?"
"Crystal, I promise--"
"Tama na!" Her hands curled on the edge of the comforter, fighting back her emotions.
Mas lalo akong nakaramdam ng bigat sa dibdib ko sa nakikita ko. Pinapahirapan ko na
ba talaga siya?
"I hate promises! You promised me not to leave me again, Kurt, pero anong ginawa
mo? Iniwan mo pa rin ako nung araw na kinailangan kita! Iniwan mo ako at pinili si
Mariz!"
"Magpapakamatay siya nun, Crystal. I couldn't have just ignored her," I retorted, almost
whispering. Hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya. Memories automatically flashed
back in my mind... That day I made my worst decision.
"Hindi nga siya ang namatay! Ang anak naman... natin," humina ang boses niya.
Tumingin ako sa kanya at nakita kong nakayuko na rin siya. "D-amn it... How I wish she
was the one who died. Mas deserve niya pa yun dahil sa mga ginawa niya sa atin."
I sighed in annoyance as I sat beside her on the bed. "Curse her all you want but you
can't still change the fact that everything had been messed up already. Tapos na,
Crystal... All we need to do is move on. Magsimula tayo ulit."
She distanced herself from me and looked to me with those eyes as cold as ice.
"Bakit ganyan nalang sayo kadali ang sabihin yan? Nakalimutan mo na bang.... siya
ang dahilan kung ba't ka nawalan ng alaala???"
Sh*t. Do we need to get back to that issue? Para sa akin, kinalimutan ko na yun.
"I don't give a fvck anymore on who caused me this amnesia. Ikaw nalang ang iniisip ko
ngayon, Crystal."
She shook her head in sarcasm. "You're impossible. Ganun nalang din kadali sayo ang
kalimutan ang bagay na yun? Kurt... Dahil dyan, nagkandasira-sira ang buhay natin!
You wouldn't have chosen that sl-ut over me kung alam mong hindi ikaw ang ama ng
anak niya. Kung may naaalala ka lang, gagawin mo rin yung ginawa mo noon sa kanya
na pagtataboy!"
"Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko?? Tapos na, Crystal. Wala ng mababago kung may
gagawin pa ako." D-amn, I should keep my temper.
I got startled when she grabbed my wrist and pointed at it. "This. This tattoo... Yung
mga kumidnap sa atin nung gabing yun, panay may ganyan ang wrist nila."
Black Ace Tattoo... That made me stopped for awhile.
"I had cut my connection with them." I said in a low tone. "And I don't want to accuse
anyone. Whoever did this to me, I don't give a fvck anymore."
The truth is, I don't want to go back to the days why I've gotten this amnesia. Ayoko na.
Mas lalo lang sumasakit ang ulo ko, literally. X10 or Black Ace man ang gumawa nito,
wala na akong pakialam.
"Hanggang ngayon ba naman, wala ka pa ring pinaniniwalaan? Hindi mo rin
pinagkakatiwalaan ang gang mo?" She asked helplessly.
I gave out a sigh. "Both of them were pointing a finger at each other. Sumasakit na ang
ulo ko, Crystal. Hindi ko na alam kung sinong paniniwalaan ko," I buried my face on my
palms in frustration. Literally, I'm getting a migraine with this conversation. "Kaya nga
ayoko ng problemahin pa yun. Tama na."
"You know what? You're hopeless."
I really am hopeless.
"I've just realized then that I must have not chosen you over Nathan. Kung siguro siya
ang pinili ko, hindi sana ako nakakaranas ng ganito. Buhay pa sana ang anak KO
ngayon."
That made me raised my head and look to her. Those were the words that seemed to
wreck my whole. Pinagsisihan niya na ako ang napili niya?
"Wala ka na bang... nararamdaman sa akin? Kahit kaunti? Hindi mo na ba talaga ako
kayang tanggapin?"
She exhaled and shook her head, seemed to be answering an easy question. "I chose
to move on without you in my life."
"C...Crystal..."
She sighed helplessly. "Tama na, Kurt. Tigilan mo na ako. Nahihirapan na ako. Hayaan
mo naman akong sumaya..."
I swallowed hard, holding back my emotions. Is it really the end between us?
"Crystal, please... 'Wag naman. I need you."
I stared at her eyes and touched her cheek, carressing it with my thumb. Nakatitig lang
siya sa akin ng malamig. Walang emosyong nababakas sa mga mata niya. It pains me
seeing her in that state.
"I love you, Crystal... Believe me."
I slowly leaned closer and claimed her lips. I closed my eyes as I felt that same intensity
in my chest. No wonder... She's the one I really love.
But then again, I stopped and opened my eyes. Nakamulat lang siya at nakatitig sa
akin. Ni hindi man lang gumalaw. It's like I'm kissing a lifeless thing.
I pulled away and stared at her eyes for awhile. That moment, I realized something...
I sighed and transferred to my bed. Umupo ako at isinandal ang likod sa headboard.
"Matulog ka na. Night," I murmured and so, she lied on her bed, turning his back on me
with her blanket covering her body.
Nakatitig lang ako sa kanya ng matagal. Susulitin ko na ang gabing ito. I won't be
sleeping tonight until tomorrow morning... Titigan ko lang siya buong magdamag.
... How I wish when she wakes up the next morning, she'd realize that she still loves me.

***

The next morning, I didn't know that I fall asleep. Sabi ko pa naman sa sarili ko, hindi
ako matutulog magdamag. I turned around to face her direction but I gasped when I
didn't see her on the bed.
"Crystal?"
Tumayo ako at chineck ang bathroom pero walang tao dun. Hindi na ako nagdalawang
isip na lumabas ng kwarto at magtanong sa front desk. No, she can't just leave me.
"Miss, nakita mo yung kasama kong babae kagabi? Nakaalis na ba?"
"Opo, sir. Mga dalawang oras na rin siguro ang nakakalipas."
That felt like a stab on my chest. I breathed deeply and said my 'thanks' to her and
hurriedly went back in my room. Umupo ako sa kama habang pinagmamasdan ang
kabilang kama na inokupahan ni Crystal.
"I think she's right," I mumbled to myself as a tear fell from eye... A sign of pain.

... Maybe it's time to let her go.


---
A/N: Sorry, wala akong pambawi sa Valentines. Hirap kasi gawan ng sweet moments
sina Kurt at Gail sa sitwasyon nila ngayon. Don't worry, malapit na ang... hmm. Basta!
Hahaha! Hintay-hintay ulit sa UD. Pagpasensyahan na po. Anyway, binabati ko nga
pala si Mariel Luisa Gapusan na nagbirthday daw last month. Huhu! Nakalimutan ko
name ng nagpapabati sayo dear. Ang daming nagmessage sa akin eh. 2 weeks ba
naman hindi nagreply... Lol XD Hi din kay Mariel David na bago kong anak sa online
world. Hala, ang dami kong kapangalan! Ahahaha!
Maraming salamat sa mga WALANG SAWANG nagbabasa at naghihintay sa updates
ko! Much love!
[30] TATTOO

KURT'S POV

"You gave up?? That fast??"
I didn't answer Alex's question instead I let out a deep sigh. Si Alex agad ang una kong
kinausap tungkol dito. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Talagang magaan lang talaga ang loob
ko sa kanya. Naalala ko na naman ang nangyari kahapon. Crystal left me at the inn,
without even bidding goodbye to me. Wala na nga talaga siyang pakialam sa akin.
"Kurt," Alex stepped beside me while leaning on the railings of the veranda, staring at
the sight infront of us. "Whatever happened to your guts?"
"Guts?" I asked blankly.
"Oo. Dati, ang lakas ng loob mong lapit-lapitan si Gail kahit alam mong nabubwsit siya
sayo. Oo, mas kumplikado ang sitwasyon niyo ngayon kumpara dati pero diba dapat
kailangan mong MAS lakasan pa ang loob mo ngayon? You can't give up just like that."
I'm giving up... That's what I said to myself.
I smiled weakly and then shrugged my shoulders. "I just did. Ayaw na niya sa akin. Ano
pang magagawa ko?"
"Ano pang magagawa mo? Intindihin mo siya. Pagod ka na ba, Kurt?"
"Of course not," I turned around and headed inside my unit. I went straight to my fridge
and got something to drink.
"Then, don't give her up. Win her back instead. Hindi mo ba siya mahal?" He said after
me.
That made me stop on my track. Tinitigan ko lang siya ng seryoso at nagbuntong-
hininga. "Mahal ko siya."
He was about to spill off his words when I cut him off...
"... Pero tama siya. Hahayaan ko nalang siyang sumaya. Sa tingin ko, hindi ko talaga
kayang ibigay yun sa kanya."
He stared at me for a moment, visibly concern about me. I smiled away and managed to
laugh to ease the blue.
"I'll be more than fine if I see her smile again. Makita ko lang siyang masaya, kuntento
na ako." I gulped my beer and turned my back on him. "Tara, uminom nalang tayo,
Alex."

I know I can get over with this misery in time. Letting go is the only best thing I could
do...


***


The next morning, I woke up with a heavy head. Marami yata akong nainom kagabi. I
got up from bed, headed to the kitchen and suited myself with a coffee. Lumipat ako sa
living room at binuksan ang Plasma TV ko. But fate sucks because as soon it turned on,
Crystal's beautiful face appeared through it.
"D-amn."
Pinatay ko kaagad ang TV at napailing nalang ng ulo. Paano ko siya makakalimutan
kung panay ganito ang nangyayari? Minutes later, I felt something down at my feet. I
smiled as I saw Babes and Loves looking up at me with those cute pair of eyes. They're
the only ones who can make me smile at times like this.
"Gutom na kayo?"
Silly may it seemed, but I really find it comfortable talking to my pets. Sa ilang buwan na
mag-isa ako dito, sila lang talaga ang nagpabuhay ng unit na ito.

Pinakain ko muna sila ng dog food bago ako naligo at lumabas ng unit. I think I've
scattered my brains somewhere. Ni hindi ko naalala na wala na akong food storage. So,
here I am, decided to get out of my cave, spinning my keys on my finger when suddenly
a woman blocked my pace. I automatically winced at her presence.
"K..Kurt..."
I stopped for some seconds, looked at her blankly and then walked passed her. Ilang
araw na ba niya akong kinukulit? At ilang araw ko na rin siyang iniiwasan? D-amn, how
can I pull her out of my life!?
"Kurt! Please, mag-usap naman tayo!" She grabbed my arm and stepped infront of me,
teary-eyed. "Kurt, please... I've been away for a month yet I still thought of you! Kahit
iba ang kasama ko, ikaw pa rin ang nasa isip ko."
"Hindi ko na problema yan. Nung nawala ka, nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Ba't bumalik
ka pa?"
I was still looking at her blankly when her eyes started to water. Kung dati, naaawa pa
ako sa kanya. Ngayon, pinipigilan ko nalang ang sarili ko na saktan siya.
"I've been sued. Wala na akong kakampi. Si Kuya, even my mom... ayaw na nila akong
pakinggan." She pressed my arm and I shoved it away. Napahikbi siya sa ginawa kong
yun. "Wala akong kasalanan. Si Gail ang naunang nang-insulto sa akin kaya ko siya
sinaktan! Maniwala ka naman sa akin oh..."
She tried to hug me but I just pushed her away. Naglakad na ako patungo sa kotse ko
pero sinundan niya pa rin. F-ck!
"Kurt..."
She wrapped her arms onto my waist from behind. Sh*t! How could this woman be so
annoying?
"Pathetically annoying," I hissed and removed her arms around me as I turned around
to face her. "Stop throwing sh*ts on me before I send you to hell!!! Try me, Mariz. Wala
akong pakialam kung makulong pa ako. Pagkatapos ng mga ginawa mo sa akin, wala
ng silbi ang buhay ko!!!" I paused and breathed out. "Isa pang lapit mo sa akin,
dadagdagan ko ang kasong isinampa sayo ni Crystal."

She stood there horrified while holding back her tears. I sighed in exasperation and left
her without even taking back what I just blurted out. I meant what I said by the way...


I immediately drove to the nearest grocery shop, with thoughts crossing my mind. F*ck!
How can I move on with my life when I always see her face even along the highway.
"Billboard sh*ts..." I muttered under my breath as I parked my car at the lot. I went
inside the shop while my head is in pain. I still haven't eaten my breakfast nor lunch yet.
Nalipasan na ako ng gutom. How wrecked my life has been!
Kanina pa ako pari't-parito sa aisle ng canned goods. Nakapunta na rin ako sa aisle ng
biscuits and breads nang may mapansin ako. Someone's following me. Nilingon ko ang
kung sinumang yun pero isang lalaking nakaitim na halos kasing edaran ko lang ang
nakita ko.
I continued on wandering around the shop until one thing caught my attention...
"Nutella..." I mumbled.
I was about to get it when I heard someone spoke on my left.
"Black Ace ka na?"
Siya yung lalaking nakita ko kanina. My brow creased in confusion. I scanned him from
head to foot and glanced at him suspiciously.
"Pardon?" I asked corteously.
"Uhh... Pasensya na, pare. Nagkamali lang," natatarantang sabi niya at nagmamadaling
umalis.
I consciously looked at my wrist. I almost forgot about this tattoo. I have to remove this
off my skin. I'm not part of that fvckery gang anymore, matagal na. And then, I suddenly
remembered his question to me; 'Black Ace ka na?'
"Da-mn."
Iniwan ko na yung push cart ko doon at nagmadaling hinanap ang lalaking yun.
Lumabas na ako ng shop at hinanap siya sa labas. Sh*t, alam kong may gusto siyang
ipahiwatig sa tinanong niya sa akin.
I roamed my eyes to the place, even in the parking lot until my eyes caught his image
again. He was about to get in his car when I rushed towards him and grabbed his collar.
"T-ang-ia!" Nagpupumiglas siya at nang magsalubong ang mga paningin namin, nanlaki
ang mga mata niya. Hindi ako sigurado pero bakit parang natatakot siya?
"Why did you ask that question?"
Hindi siya sumagot, kaya naman pinaharap ko siya sa akin at isinalampak ang likod
niya sa kanyang kotse.
"Pare... H-hayaan mo nalang ako. Tumiwalag na ako sa Black Ace simula nang
patumbahin ka namin."
Kumunot ang noo ko. Patumbahin ako?
"Anong ibig mong sabihin?"
His lips pursed. His face became pale. He couldn't even meet my gaze. Mukha siyang
basagulero pero bakit ang duwag niya?
"SAGOT!" I demanded as I pushed him harder to his car.
"W-wala ka bang maalala?? Imposibleng hindi mo alam," paliwanag niya. Nilagay ko
ang isang kamay ko sa leeg niya. Unting-unti ko itong hinigpitan...
"Just answer me or I'll crush your face!"
Napalunok siya. Matalas ang titig ko sa kanya, samantalang siya, mukhang binuhusan
ng malamig na tubig sa sobrang takot.
"M...muntik ka na naming mapatay n-noon kaya gumanti ang gang mo sa amin, ang
X10. Pagkatapos nilang rumesbak, dalawa sa amin ang naging kritikal ang kundisyon at
isa na ako dun. Namatay yung isa naming kasamahan... Samantalang ako, buhay.
Natakot ako na maulit yun kaya tumiwalag na ako sa Black Ace. Kaya, pabayaan mo na
ako! Pinagsisihan ko na ang nangyaring yun!"
That caught me off guard. Para akong tinakasan ng sarili kong dugo sa katawan. Ang
Black Ace... Sila ang dahilan kung bakit ako nacomatose? Binaligtad nila ang kwento.
Sila ang puno't-dulo ng lahat ng problema ko ngayon.
Ngayon naiintindihan ko na ang nangyari...
"P-paano nangyari yun?" I let go of his collar and tried to calm myself.
"Sa pagkakaalam ko, si Mariz ang dahilan kung bakit namin kayo sinaktan.
Ipinaghiganti ka lang ni Morris dahil ikaw ang ama ng anak niya at mas pinili mo pang
pakisamahan ang ibang babae."
My jaw clenched in frustration and my hands formed into fist. I feel like killing some b-
stard. I'm not the f-cking father of her child. Heaven knows.
"Pwede mo ba akong samahan?" I asked in gritted teeth.
"Ayoko ng magkaroon ng koneksyon sa kahit sino sa Black Ace, lalong-lalo na sayo.
Pasensya na, aalis na ako."
Before he could get in his car, I grabbed his collar again and calmly said, "I don't belong
to them. Just feed my mind more with the truth and you'll be a big help."


GAIL'S POV

I have 1 more week in the Philippines but I badly want to leave now. Gusto ko ng
magpakalayo-layo. Kung hindi lang ako pinakiusapan ni Dad na magsabay na kami
pauwi, hindi na talaga ako magtatagal dito. But then again, I have to stay longer dahil
sinampahan ko ng kasong Physical Injury si Mariz. She should try me more... Baka sa
susunod, ipahalungkat ko na ang mga ginawa niya sa akin noon.
"Gaaaaail, ang ganda mo dito."
I smiled and yanked my hair sideways. Talk about my ad in mag. "Well, thanks to the
photoshop and stuff."
"Sus, Gail! Hindi no'. Edited or not, maganda ka pa rin. At oo, mas gumanda ka
ngayon," Kaye Anne commented and Nathan just gave me a smile.
Where are we right now? Oh well, nandito lang naman kami sa restaurant nila Kuya
Sean, ang asawa ng kapatid ni Kaye Anne. Kaye Anne asked me out for lunch that's
why I'm here, talking to four couples; Kent with Sandy, Brent with Lovely, Chloe with
Dustin and yeah, surprisingly, Nathan with Kaye Anne. No biggie with the guys, really.
I'm just being casual to them.
"Last na yan. Hindi na ako uulit," sagot ko.
"Ay, bakit? Ayaw mo ng magmodel?" Tanong ni Lovely na parang may panghihinayang.
I grinned. "I did that out of boredom and yea, depression as well. Wala sa plano ko ang
maging model. I'd better continue my studies than do modelling."
"So, saan ka ulit mag-aaral, Ate Gail? Sa E.H.U pa rin ba? Kung oo, magkikita tayo dun
everyday! Yiee," Sandy said with a giddy expression.
"Nope," I replied and all of them fell silent. "Babalik ako ng Germany. Inaayos na ni Dad
yung mga papeles ko. I'll take up Masters na rin dun para mas mahaba-haba yung stay
ko. In that case, magiging prepared na ako para magtrabaho sa kumpanya ng pamilya
natin," my eyed shifted to Kaye Anne, "Right, Kaye Anne?"
"Huh? Kailangan mo ba talagang gawin yun?"
I nodded my head as an answer. "I wasted a year in my life. It's about time to, you
know, become more productive and wiser."
"Gail..."
Napatingin ako kay Nathan. He has this concerned look on his face so I smiled. "Don't
worry about me. Tinapos ko na lahat ng mga bagay na naiwan ko dito. At alam niya
yun..."
Niya... I was referring to Kurt.
I left him without cracking a word to him. He was in deep sleep and I had to get out of
that stupid place without waking him up. Sapat na siguro yun para marealize niya na
ayoko na siyang makita o makasama sa iisang kwarto. I left the place... and that only
meant I left him for real.
"W..wala na ba talagang pag-asa na magkabalikan kayo ni Kurt?" Kent asked me.
Napangiti nalang ako dahil sa wakas, nagsalita na rin ang isa sa kanila nina Brent at
Dustin.
"Wala na. And if you'd ask me if we can still be friends, then the answer is no, we can't.
Sana maintindihan ninyo."
Silence occupied our space. Neither of them spoke back nor moved. Everyone seemed
shocked. Talaga bang nakakagulat ang sinabi ko? Wasn't that kind of expected?
"We shouldn't be talking about this matter," I laughed to ease the awkward silence
among us. "Let's talk about something interesting. Aalis na ako in 5 days. Let's enjoy
ourselves."
"Haha...ha! Oo nga," Chloe commented and I know for sure, her laugh wasn't genuine
at all. "Nakakalungkot lang, pero yun siguro ang makabubuti para sa'yo at kay Kurt."
"Ehem, maiba tayo. Ikukwento ko nalang kung pa'no ako niligawan ni Kaye Anne,"
singit naman ni Nathan na talagang nagpangiti sa akin. He sure knows how to divert
everyone's attention to him.
"Ugh! Wag. Kapaaaal!"

Matagal-tagal din kaming nagkwentuhan habang kumakain ng kung ano-ano sa
restaurant nila Kuya Sean. Nagkakatawanan at nagkakaasaran din. I never expected
Kaye Anne would do such thing. I mean, seriously, siya talaga ang gumawa ng paraan
para maging sila ni Nathan? Wow. One hell of a brave girl.
"... At ayun, sabi niya, kami na daw. Wag na daw akong manligaw. Sasagutin rin naman
daw niya ako. Ba't pa daw ba patatagalin? Ahaha! Lakas ng tama ni Kaye Anne sa akin
eh."
Kaye Anne spatted his arm. "HINDI! Edited! Revised ang kinwento mo! Kainis!"
"Yay, edi sana noon mo pa ginawa yun, Kaye Anne. Pinatagal mo pa," asar naman ni
Chloe samantalang yung tatlong X10 gangmates naman kanina pa walang kibo. How
odd.
"Kaya nga. Mahal din naman pala niya ako, nagpakipot pa."
Kaye Anne fisted Nathan's hair. "Grabeeee! Ayoko naaaaa. Kapaaaaaal."
"Ay, kulet! Masakit yan! Sige ka, break na tayo?!"
"Tch. Edi break!"
Well, all is well, all has fallen into places. Masaya na akong maganda ang lovelife ng
mga kaibigan ko. I'm looking forward to mine too... But sure as hell, that I'm still not
ready for a new one. Not now, maybe.
"Miss Gail, excuse me po."
Naputol ang asaran nila nang lapitan ako ni Jade. She was handing out an envelope to
me so I shot to her my questioning look.
"Yan po yung documents ng condo unit mo, Miss Gail. May buyer na po agad," may
inabot naman siya sa aking puting folder, "...At iyan naman po yung papeles para sa
isinampa mo pong kaso para kay Miss Valencia."
The last statement made me smirk.
"So, how's everything going?" I asked.
Bago pa man makasagot si Jade, narinig kong nagsalita si Dustin.
"Miss Valencia? Ano'ng meron? Bakit nagsampa ka ng kaso?"
Tumingin ako sa kanya at nagkibit-balikat. "Hinarass niya ako. Maraming nakawitness
sa campus. I even had my medical check-up just to prove that I've been hurt. I want her
to pay for what she had done to me... Kulang pa yun sa ginawa niya sa akin."

And I swear, I meant every word I said. How I wish karma will slap her on the face this
instance before I leave the country.


--
A/N: People in the group, sorry! Hindi pa pala dito sa chapter na ito ang SPG
hahahahaha! Sa chapter 31 pa pala. Excited lang ako eh. Pfft! Bukas ulit ang UD. =)
Vomments guys ha? Sa panahon ngayon, kailangan ko nun. Huhu
[31] REGRETS AND FORGIVENESS

THIRD PERSON'S POV

"Stop throwing sh*ts on me before I send you to hell!!! Try me, Mariz. Wala akong
pakialam kung makulong pa ako. Pagkatapos ng mga ginawa mo sa akin, wala ng silbi
ang buhay ko!!!"

Simula kahapon pa paulit-ulit sa isipan ni Mariz ang huling binitawang salita sa kanya ni
Kurt. Umuwi siyang luhaan kahapon. Yun na siguro ang pinakamasakit na salitang
natanggap niya mula sa kanya. Naramdaman niya ang pagkamuhi nito.
"K...Kurt, I'm sorry," she said between her sobs while staring blankly out of nowhere.
Simula kahapon ay nakaupo lang siya sa sahig habang yakap-yakap ang dalawa
niyang hita. Nagkulong lang siya magdamag sa kwarto at ni hindi man lang kumain.
Literal na nawawala na naman siya sa sarili.
"I-I'm sorry... I'm-- s-sorry..." Tuloy-tuloy na luha ang umagos mula sa mga mata niya.
Sa isang buwan na lumayo siya, may pinarealize sa kanya si Brenan. They may have
been cold towards each other, but that doesn't mean she didn't care about his existence
during the trip.
"Itigil mo na 'to, Mariz. Isipin mo nalang ang anak mo. Kawawa siya. Nandito naman
ako para maging ama sa kanya at maging asawa sayo."
... She realized then that she should think about her child. Siya lang ang naiipit sa
sitwasyon na ito. Bakit siya naghahabol sa lalaking paulit-ulit siyang inaayawan kung
may tao namang handa siyang mahalin ng buong-buo?
"Pero mahal ko siya... Kahit ayaw niya sa akin, mahal ko pa rin siya."
Nababaliw na siya. Nakikipagtalo siya sa sarili niya. She even slapped her own wrist
very hard. Ganito siya kapag depressed, sinasaktan ang kanyang sarili.
Napadako ang tingin niya sa envelope sa kanyang paanan. Ito ang papeles na pinadala
sa kanya ng abogado ni Gail. Nakadagdag sa depression niya ang kasong ito. Kailan
ba siya tuluyang mananahimik? She already sought help from her mom, but she just
ignored her. Even her brother didn't give a f*ck about her anymore. Sino na ang
matatakbuhan niya?
"Sh*t... K-Kurt, I'm sorry."
Kurt... Kurt... Kurt... Puro nalang Kurt ang nasa isip niya. Wala na ba talagang pag-
asang maging sila? Bakit kahit ano'ng gawin niya ay si Gail pa rin ang mahal niya?
"AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!"
Naibato niya ang nadampot ng kamay niya sa bintanang nasa harapan niya. Bahagya
itong nabasag dahil na rin mabigat ang remote na dumapo dito. Agad na napatakbo sa
loob ng kwarto ang kanyang ina. Lumuhod ito sa harapan niya at sinimulan siyang
aluhin.
"Stephanie, ano na naman bang nangyayari sayo??"
Bigla nalang umiyak ang bata sa crib nito. Nagising yata sa ingay na ginawa niya.
Curse him to the hottest pit in hell! Naiirita siya sa pag-iyak nito.
"Get that f*cking baby!! Ang ingay!!!"
"Steph, ano bang---"
"I said get the baby and get out of my room! Ilayo niyo sa akin ang batang yan!!!" She
screamed while covering her ears.
Pagkalabas ng kanyang ina at ang anak niya ay nagmamadali siyang pumasok sa walk-
in closet niya. Tila may hinahanap. Hinalughog niya ang laman ng drawer hanggang sa
may nilabas siyang isang pen at notebook. With tears in her eyes, she wrote something
on it.

... She wrote the things she regrets.
... She asked for forgiveness.
... She even wrote on it, maybe, her last words for the people that once became part of
her pathetic life.

Wala sa sarili siyang lumabas ng kanyang kwarto. She went inside her brother's
bedroom and left the letter she wrote there. Palabas na sana siya ng kwarto nang may
pumasok sa isip niya, at walang ano-ano'y nilapitan niya ang bedside drawer ng kapatid
at kinuha ang bagay na magpapatahimik sa magulong buhay niya.
... 99MM Pistol In Black Tennifer
"Let me borrow you for awhile," she murmured.
Itinago niya sa kanyang gilid ang baril at kaswal na lumabas na ng kwarto. Dumiretso
siya pababa sa pool area at dinaanan lang ang ilan sa kasambahay nito na
nakasalubong niya sa hallway. But she didn't forget to give them a smile... This would
be the last smile she'd faint, she thought.
She took off her slippers and positioned herself on the edge of the pool. She smiled
bitterly to herself as she stared down the cold water. Before everything else, she fished
out her phone of her pocket and tapped someone's number.
"Hello?" Said the voice in the other line.
Tuloy-tuloy na luha na naman ang umagos mula sa mga mata niya, but then again she
still managed to smile. "I'm sorry."
["Pardon?"]
"Sorry if I... if I ruined your life. I'm terribly sorry. H-hindi ko alam kung mapapatawad mo
pa ako."
["Sino ba 'to?"] There was a hint of dominance with the voice.
Dahan-dahan siyang bumaba sa hagdan ng swimming pool. She shivered a little when
her skin felt the cold water. Unti-unti na niyang nilalakad ang pool habang nakatingin sa
kawalan, at habang kinakausap ang taong nagawan niya ng masama.
"I'm sorry, Gail," she whispered.
["Mariz?? If you're just saying this to--"]
Mariz cut off her words. "I am not asking for your forgiveness right at this moment.
Magpunta ka lang sa burol ko, ibig sabihin nun ay napatawad mo na ako."
Gail gasped at what she heard. Her heatbeats fast than its normal rate. Hindi niya alam
kung bakit siya biglang ninerbyos sa narinig niya. Ano'ng ibig sabihin ni Mariz dun?
["M-Mariz, what's going on?? MARIZ!!!"]
Wala na siyang narinig kundi ang paghikbi ng kausap sa kabilang linya. Nagsimula na
siyang magpanic. D-amn! Is she trying to commit suicide?
["Mariz, c'mon! Speak up! Kung anuman ang binabalak mo, 'wag mo yang ituloy. We'll
talk things out. Hindi solusyon yan,"] natatarantang sabi niya. ["I forgive you... Tigilan
mo lang yan."]
Mariz smiled at what she heard but that doesn't mean she'll stop from what she's about
to do. Buo na ang desisyon niya. Unting-unti na siyang lumulubog sa tubig... Inilabas na
rin niya ang baril at itinututok ito sa sentido niya.
This is now or never...
She closed her eyes and silently prayed. "Kayo na po ang bahala sa akin."
["MARIZ!!!! Calm down..."]
"Tell Kurt I'm sorry..." She whispered, tears streaming on her cheeks. "Goodbye."

And then a loud bang ended the call...

BAAAAANG!


***

Labing-limang minuto na ang nakalipas nang makarating siya sa liblib na lugar na ito.
Nag-iisa si Morris na pumunta dito dahil yun na rin ang nakasaad sa text message na
natanggap niya mula kay Kurt. Kahit na nagtataka siya dahil matagal na nitong pinutol
ang kung anumang koneksyon sa pagitan nila ay hindi siya nag-atubili na harapin ito.

|Morris, meet me at the Balete Drive tomorrow, 9PM.|

Hindi niya alam kung ilang beses na niya paulit-ulit na binasa ang text message. Sh-it!
Ang tagal. Naiinip na siya.

Thirty minutes had passed yet there's still no sign of Kurt. Pupunta pa ba yun? Tss.
Mukhang hindi na, he thought. Pasakay na sana siya sa kanyang motorbike nang
mapansin niya ang mga paparating na kotse. Halos masilaw na siya sa mga ilaw nito.
Bahagya niyang inilagay ang kamay niya sa noo nito at inulinagan ang mga paparating.
There were 10 Ferrari Cars arriving.... Huminto ito ilang metro mula sa kinatatayuan
niya, at hindi niya alam kung sinadya ba nito na paligiran siya.
"Sh*t," he cursed under his breath as he saw the ten guys getting out of their respective
cars.
Ang X10...
"Stay." Yun lang ang narinig ni Morris kay Kurt. The nine other men kept standing still
on the ground.
"Kurt, ano'ng ibig sabihin nito?" Morris asked, with a hard expression.
Humakbang lang si Kurt palapit sa kanya, at huminto ito isang dipa mula sa
kinatatayuan niya. He stood still and managed his composure.
"What's up?"
"Tsk. Ano ba talaga ang dahilan kung bakit mo ako pinapunta dito? Spill it now or I'll
go."
Ngumisi si Kurt. Mataman niya itong tinignan sa mga mata. "B-a-stard's afraid, aren't
you?"
Morris didn't utter a word. He seemed to understand the situation.
"Thanks for dragging my life to hell, Morris. What a good actor you are! You f*cking
twisted the story."
Morris' throat suddenly dried up. Hindi siya makaimik. Wala ng saysay kung
magsisinungaling pa siya.
"Fine, I did it. I just thought that you're the father of my sister's child. Nagkamali ako, at
pinagsisihan ko na yun," matapang na paliwanag niya. "Pasensya na."
Kurt couldn't help himself not to grab his collar, and with that, he stared darkly into his
eyes. "D-amn you! Ganun-ganun nalang yun?! Pagkatapos niyong siraing magkapatid
ang buhay namin, hihingi nalang kayo ng dispensa?! Paano kung patayin kita ngayon at
magsorry nalang ako sa pamilya mo?!?" He said in gritted teeth.
Sinalubong ni Morris ang titig ni Kurt. Aminado siyang malaki ang kasalanan niya sa
taong kaharap niya, at tatanggapin niya kung anumang gagawin nito sa kanya.
"Then, kill me."
Dahan-dahang inilabas ni Morris ang kanyang baril mula sa kanyang pantalon at iniabot
ito kay Kurt, habang hindi pa rin inaalis ang titig niya dito.
"I'll pay for the damage I've caused your life. Kill me now..." Matigas na sabi nito.
Hindi agad kinuha ni Kurt ang baril kaya naman si Morris na mismo ang naglagay nito
sa kamay nita at tinutok mismo sa sentido niya.
He smirked fearlessly. "Pull the trigger. I'm ready to die."
Kurt breathied heavily as he let go his collar. Kinasa muna niya ang baril at binalik itong
muli sa sentido ni Morris. He doesn't care anymore whatever happens after this. All he
wants is to pay for what he had done.
"Sinira niyo ang buhay ko."
Kurt clenched his jaw. Morris then closed his eyes.
"Nawala ang mga mahahalagang tao sa buhay ko..."
Morris swallowed his lump in his throat. In just a few seconds, he'll meet death.
"...Kasabay ng mga alaala ko. This serves you right, you son of a b*%^ch"
Morris took one last sigh as he waited for the gun to shot on his head... Ngunit ilang
segundo na ang nakalipas, hindi pa rin ito pumuputok. Muli niyang iminulat ang mga
mata niya at sumalubong sa paningin niya ang kamao ni Kurt. Tuloy-tuloy na
pinagsusuntok siya nito sa panga. Sinipa siya nito sa sikmura. Nung bumagsak ito ay
pinagtatadyakan pa siya sa mukha.
Hindi siya lumaban pabalik. Tinanggap niya ang bawat atake mula kay Kurt. At nang
magsawa na ito sa kakatadyak sa kanya, Kurt left him his last words...
"Kailangan ka ng kapatid mo. Hindi kita papatayin. Lumayo lang kayo sa akin... sa
amin."

Yun na ang huling narinig niya mula kay Kurt. Agad-agad na rin itong umalis kasama ng
kanyang gang. Pasuray-suray siyang bumangon sa pagkakasalampak sa lupa. Duguan
ang buong mukha at puro galos ang katawan.
"Thank you," he mumbled as he wiped the blood off his face. Ilang saglit lang ay
tumunog ang kanyang cellphone. Numero sa bahay ang tumatawag. He tapped the
answer key and listened to the voice on the other line.

"Sir Morris, si Ma'am Mariz po... N..nagpakamatay."


---
A/N: Ito yung SPG na sinasabi ko hahahaha! Kayo ha! Pag SPG, BS ba agad? Hindi ba
pwedeng violence naman? XD
Anyway, dedicated @Tinealag dahil birthday niya bukas Feb. 18. Gift ko na sayo ito and
happy birthday na rin kay JanKateCCentino sa Feb 22. Till next update! Vomments
guys ha? :)


[32] GOODBYE

GAIL'S POV

"... Isang babae ang 'di umano'y nagpakamatay kagabi sa sarili nilang tahanan. Ayon sa
panayam namin sa mga pulis, depression ang naging dahilan ng pagpapakamatay ni
Stephanie Mariz Valencia, edad 21 taong gulang..."

I couldn't take listening nor watching the news so I quickly reached for the remote
control to turn the TV off. What happened to Mariz is really saddening. I never expected
that to happen. She committed suicide last night and it's already all over the news.
Since last night, I can't think straight. Nakausap ko pa siya kagabi at sigurado ako na
natapos ang usapan namin nang barilin niya ang kanyang sarili. Sabi sa news, sa
swimming pool daw siya nagpakamatay. Sa ulo niya ipinutok ang kanyang baril.
"Jade..." I called her out. Tumingin naman siya sa akin. Kanina pa siya tahimik. Wala
siyang alam sa mga nangyayari. Ang alam lang niya ay kilala niya si Mariz but other
than that, wala na siyang alam.
"Puntahan natin kung saan nakaburol si Mariz."
"Po?" Nag-aalangan na sabi niya. Hindi ako mapakali. Gusto ko siyang puntahan.
"Sigurado po ba kayo?"
I nodded my head as my answer. Kagabi pa ako hindi makatulog dahil sa pinag-usapan
namin ni Mariz. I thought she was just kidding around not until I saw the news about her
today. Hindi ko alam ang eksaktong nararamdaman ko. Nalulungkot ako para sa anak
niya. She should'nt have taken her own life away. Kahit naman na kinamumuhian ko
siya, hindi ko naman hiniling na mamatay siya. Maybe I did, but that was only out of
anger. I've never wished for anyone's death. Let heavens decided about it for you.
Kasalanan ang pagpapakamatay.

On the way to Valencia's residence, I felt like backing out. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko
haharapin ang pamilya niya. Alam ko naman na isa ako sa mga dahilan kung bakit siya
nagpakamatay. Nagiguilty ako.
"Miss Gail, nandito na po tayo."
I let out a heavy sigh as I looked out of the window. Nasa harapan kami ng isang
malaking bahay. Maraming tao ang naglalabas-masok. Marami ring kotse na nakapark
sa labas. Kaya ko bang harapin ang taong nanggulo sa buhay ko sa ganitong
sitwasyon?
"Miss Gail, tutuloy pa po ba tayo?"
"Yeah, let's go."
I'm wearing a black dress to show my deepest condolence for her family. Gabi na at
maraming tao ang nasa loob ng pavillion. All attention diverted to me as soon as I
stepped inside. Without giving a f-ck on everyone, I managed to walk towards the aisle
with Jade by my side. Humawak agad sa kaliwang braso ko si Jade nang makita niyang
nagtama ang mga paningin namin ng isang babaeng if I am not mistaken, Mariz' mom.
Lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ko nang salubungin niya ako. How can I start a
conversation with her?
"H-Hi..."
She smiled weakly to me that made me confused.
"Nanay ako ni Mariz. You must be Gail, right?" She asked and before I could answer,
she interrupted me. "Thank you for coming. Ako na ang humihingi ng kapatawaran sa
mga ginawa ni Mariz sa'yo."
I tried to open my mouth to speak but no word came out. Hindi ko magawang magsalita.
I feel weak at this moment. She smiled again but this time, her eyes started to water.
Naninikip ang dibdib ko sa nangyayari. "...Sana mapatawad mo siya. Sigurado akong
pinagsisisihan niya ang mga nagawa niya sa'yo."
Napalunok ako. "Condolence, Ma'am. Excuse me," I walked passed her and headed
infront of Mariz' coffin. Nakasarado ang kabaong. Puro pictures and flowers lang ang
mga nakapaligid dito.
"Bakit kaya nakasara?" Jade whispered to me. I just shrugged my shoulders as an
answer. Kahit ako, nagtataka rin.
"Sa ulo niya ipinutok ang baril. Hindi maganda kung isasapubliko pa namin ang itsura
niya."
Napalingon kami sa nagsalita. Isang lalaki na may kargang bata. Pamilyar siya sa akin.
Bigla nalang akong nakaramdam ng nerbyos nang magtama ang mga paningin. Hindi
ako pwedeng magkamali. Kilala ko siya.
"...I'm Brenan."
Brenan... His name isn't familar to me. Somehow, his voice let me remember something
in the past. My sight brushed down his wrist and confirmed my assumption when I saw
a black ace tattoo on it. I can't help but to step back.
"Naalala mo pa ba ako?"
I slowly nodded my head. Malinaw pa sa akin ang gabing nangyari ang trahedya sa
amin ni Kurt. Si Brenan ang lalaking nagpainom sa akin noon ng tubig.
"...Ako na ang humihingi ng tawad sa ginawa ni Mariz sa'yo... Sa inyong dalawa ni
Kurt," he calmly said while looking at me seriously. I looked at the child in his arms. His
tears are streaming down his cheeks.
"I came here because I've forgiven her already," I said without disconnecting my eye
contact with the child. "He's her baby, isn't he?"
Brenan smiled weakly. That's probably the answer. I felt a pang of pain seeing the child
crying silently.
"Who will take care of him now?"
He sighed. "Me... I'll take care of my son."

Minutes had passed but still I couldn't get over with what I've heard from Brenan. Siya
ang ama ng anak ni Mariz. Kung ganun, ba't niya tinurong ama nito si Kurt noon kung
alam niyang si Brenan ang ama ni Brylle? Maybe I should forget it from now on. Wala
na si Mariz. I have forgiven her and I need to move on with my life as well.
"Ang daming media sa labas."
Tumingin ako sa direction ng entrace ng pavillion. There seemed to have a bunch of
media people outside. I can see the flash of the cameras. Good Lord, Mariz isn't a
celebrity so why do they give a f*ck about her death?
Bumalik na naman ang tingin ko sa harapan. Mag-iisang oras na kaming nakaupo dito
ni Jade pero wala pa akong balak na umalis. I don't know why but I'm fond of watching
the sleeping child in Brenan's arms infront of me. It breaks my heart seeing him.
"Miss Gail... Si Sir Kurt po ba yun?"
Sinundan ko ng tingin ang tinitignan ni Jade sa pinto sa bandang kaliwa. Our eyes met
but he immediately walked away quickly. I don't know what has gotten in me that I found
myself getting up from the seat.
"Saan ka po pupunta?"
"Stay here," I retorted and followed Kurt's pace. I was half-running just to reach him.
Malalaki ang bawat hakbang niya palayo pero mabagal ang paglalakad niya.
"Kurt!!" He didn't dare to look back. "Kurt!! Let's talk!"
I started panting real hard. Sumasakit na ang mga talampakan ko dahil sa suot kong
pumps. Good thing, he stopped and sat down the pavement while staring at the
ground... seemed lifeless.
I know what he feels. I understand him. Kung ako nga nag-aalala, siya pa kaya?
"Kurt, a..ayos ka lang?"
He looked down and sighed deeply. "It's all my fault."
"It's not," I murmured while taking steps near him. Huminto ako isang dipa mula sa
kanya. "She took her life away. Yun ang naging desisyon niya." I paused and stared at
him. "Bago siya magpakamatay, tumawag pa siya sa akin. She apologized to me and I
swear, I forgave her and I even tried to stop her from killing herself. Heaven knows,
Kurt... I tried but... I---I'm sorry."
He didn't say anything. He just quietly staring on the ground. It has been a minute of
silence between us.
"Don't blame yourself..." I said and he looked up at me, blankly. What he said broke me.
"Paano kung hindi kita hinintay? Pa'no kung tinanggap ko nalang siya sa buhay ko?
Mangyayari pa rin kaya ito?" He paused for a moment and heaved a sigh. "I guess not."
My heart thumped hard at what he said. His voice was as cold as ice as well as his
eyes. Did he mean it?
"H...Hindi ko naman sinabing hintayin mo ako. You know that, Kurt. Matagal ng tapos
ang kung anumang meron tayo," I tried to sound casual. He must not see me crying
because of him...again. Matagal ko na siyang kinalimutan. Ayoko na.
He stood up while still staring at me. Nagtaka ako nang tinango niya ang kanyang ulo
ng dahan-dahan. "Right. 'Till next time. Bye."

... Pinagmasdan ko ang paglakad niya palayo sa akin. Unti-unti na siyang nawawala sa
paningin ko. Unti-unti na siyang nawawala sa dilim. Ito na siguro ang umpisa ng
pagkawala niya sa buhay ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bumabalik na naman sa akin ang
pakiramdam na ito. Matagal na akong walang pakialam sa kanya pero bakit ako
nakakaramdam ng awa sa puntong ito?

"G...goodbye, Kurt..." I mumbled as he vanished away from my sight.


***


Conscience...

That's what bothers me since then. It has been four days since everything happened
and now I'm ready to go. Ngayon na ang araw ng flight ko papuntang Germany. I'm
going to be with Jade because my parents said so.
Habang nag-aayos ako ng sarili, hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko si Mariz. Napa-cremate
na ang mga labi niya at nandun ako nung mangyari yun. I was there carrying Brylle in
my arms. Sa ganung paraan man lang, maipapakita ko kay Mariz na nakikiramay ako
sa pagdadalamhati sa pamilya niya...
"Miss Gail, ready to go?"
I stopped from brushing my hair and glanced on Jade who is now at the door. "Sige,
susunod na ako."
Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ng sarili ko ay bumaba na ako sa lobby ng hotel.
Nakapagpaalam na ako ng maayos kagabi kina Chloe at Kaye Anne. We set up a
despedida dinner for me. Matagal-tagal din akong mawawala kaya ginawa ko yun.
"Crystal Gail, ready? Wala na bang naiwanan?" Dad asked as he opened the car's door
for me. Pumasok naman ako sa loob and murmured 'none'.
I sat between my Mom and Jade. Si Kuya Louis ang nagdadrive habang si Dad naman
ay nasa passenger's seat. I was silently looking out of the window when something
dawned into me. I can now see the condominium where I used to live.
"Dad..."
"Yes?"
I took a deep breath and managed to smile warmly. "Pwede po bang dumaan muna
tayo sa dati kong unit? Saglit lang po."

At first, Dad refused my request. Bakit pa nga ba ako dadaan dun kung nabenta na rin
naman ang unit ko? I don't even know why. There's something inside me that pushes
me to come here. Nasa hallway pa lang ako pero nararamdaman ko na ang paninikip
ng dibdib ko. Kusang nagpaflashback sa isip ko yung araw na hinabol ko si Kurt
papunta sa elevator. Dito mismo sa aking kinatatayuan ako bumagsak habang
dumadaing sa sakit ng tiyan. I never expected that I was giving birth that time...
Premature labor ang nangyari sa akin. Hindi pa sana ako manganganak noon kung
hindi lang dahil kay Kurt... at kay Mariz.
I sighed and shoved the thought away from my head. I shouldn't have reminisced that
scene. But on second thought, hell, it isn't easy to forget.
"Gail...?"
Lumingon ako sa tumawag. Sa boses pa lang, kilala ko na kung sino siya. I smiled ang
walked towards him. "Alex," then I looked to... "Wayne... How are you guys?"
They both smiled, but it didn't reach their eyes. "We're okay. Bakit ka nandito?" Alex
asked.
"Akala ko, 'di mo na ako papansinin. Porket famous ka na, snob ka na," naka-pout na
sabi ni Wayne. Napangiti naman ako.
"I'm about to leave for Germany. I just wanted to get a glimpse of you guys before I
leave."
"For good?"
I shook my head. "I'll be back once I graduate or maybe, I'll visit here once a year.
Matatagalan pa yun siguro since mag-aaral din ako ng Masteral dun. So..." I gave them
an embrace and then waved my hands on them. "Goodbye, guys."
"Mag-iingat ka dun, Gail."
"Kayo din."
Lumakad na ako papunta sa elevator nang hindi nalalaman kung ano ang ipinunta ko
dito. Bakit pa nga ba ako nagpunta dito? May rason pa ba?
"Gail..."
I looked back when I heard Alex's voice. "Yes?"
"Simula nang mawala si Mariz, hindi na rin namin siya nakita. Bumalik na naman siya
sa dating gawi... Lumalayo kapag may problema. Pero 'wag kang mag-aalala, sigurado
akong ayos lang siya."

I just nodded to him before stepping inside the elevator. As soon as it closed, I released
a sigh and murmured; "Hope he's fine."


---
A/N: Again, sorry naman po sa mabagal na update. Talagang busy lang ako last week.
May inedit po kasi akong manus. So yeah, bukas ulit. Magsusuper fastforward chenes
po tayo next update. :) Vomments guys?
Pabati daw sina MBPESTOLANTEMONTEJO and LYNCHILLKATE23 :) Oh nga pala!
Mali yung guess ninyo sa pinost kong spoiler sa page ko. Obviously, kay Gail yung line
haha!