5 minute - Management

Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as
his wife is finishing up her shower, when
the doorbell rings.
The wife ui!"l# wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs.
$hen she opens the door, there stands
%ob, the ne&t-door neighbor.
%efore she sa#s a word, %ob sa#s, '('ll gi)e
#ou *+,, to drop that towel.'
After thin"ing for a moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands na"ed in front
of %ob, after a few se!onds, %ob hands
her *+,, and lea)es.
The woman wraps ba!" up in the towel
and goes ba!" upstairs.
$hen she gets to the bathroom, her
husband as"s, '$ho was that-'
'(t was %ob the ne&t door neighbor,' she
replies.
'.reat,' the husband sa#s, 'did he sa#
an#thing about the *+,, he owes me-'
Moral of the stor#:
If you share critical information pertaining
to credit and risk with your shareholders in
time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Lesson /:
A priest offered a 0un a lift.
1he got in and !rossed her legs, for!ing
her gown to re)eal a leg. The priest nearl#
had an a!!ident.
After !ontrolling the !ar, he stealthil# slid
his hand up her leg.
The nun said, '2ather, remember 3salm
1/4-'
The priest remo)ed his hand. %ut,
!hanging gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The nun on!e again said, '2ather,
remember 3salm 1/4-'
The priest apologi5ed '1orr# sister but the
flesh is wea".'
Arri)ing at the !on)ent, the nun sighed
hea)il# and went on her wa#.
6n his arri)al at the !hur!h, the priest
rushed to loo" up 3salm 1/4. (t said, '.o
forth and see", further up, #ou will find
glor#.'
Moral of the stor#:
If you are not well informed in your job,
you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 7:
A sales rep, an administration !ler", and
the manager are wal"ing to lun!h when
the# find an antiue oil lamp.
The# rub it and a .enie !omes out.
The .enie sa#s, '('ll gi)e ea!h of #ou just
one wish.'
'Me first8 Me first8' sa#s the admin !ler".
'( want to be in the %ahamas, dri)ing a
speedboat, without a !are in the world.'
3uff8 1he's gone.
'Me ne&t8 Me ne&t8' sa#s the sales rep. '(
want tobe in 9awaii , rela&ing on the
bea!h with m#personal masseuse, an
endless suppl# of 3ina Coladas and the
lo)e of m# life.'
3uff8 9e's gone.
'6:, #ou're up,' the .enie sa#s to the
manager.
The manager sa#s, '( want those two ba!"
in the offi!e after lun!h.'
Moral of the stor#:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson ;
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting,
doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and as"ed
him, 'Can ( also sit li"e #ou and do
nothing-'
The eagle answered: '1ure, wh# not.'
1o, the rabbit sat on the ground below the
eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fo&
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it.
Moral of the stor#:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must
be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A tur"e# was !hatting with a bull.
'( would lo)e to be able to get to the top of
that tree' sighed the tur"e#, 'but ( ha)en't
got the energ#.'
'$ell, wh# don't #ou nibble on some of
m# droppings-' replied the bull. The#'re
pa!"ed with nutrients.'
The tur"e# pe!"ed at a lump of dung, and
found it a!tuall# ga)e him enough
strength to rea!h the lowest bran!h of the
tree.
The ne&t da#, after eating some more
dung, he rea!hed the se!ond bran!h.
2inall# after a fourth night, the tur"e#
was proudl# per!hed at the top of the
tree.
9e was promptl# spotted b# a farmer,
who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the stor#:
Bull hit might get you to the top, but it
won!t keep you there.
Lesson <
A little bird was fl#ing south for the
winter. (t was so !old the bird fro5e and
fell to the ground into a large field.
$hile he was l#ing there, a !ow !ame b#
and dropped some dung on him.
As the fro5en bird la# there in the pile of
!ow dung, he began to reali5e how warm
he was.
The dung was a!tuall# thawing him out8
9e la#s there all warm and happ#, and
soon began to sing for jo#.
A passing !at heard the bird singing and
!ame to in)estigate.
2ollowing the sound, the !at dis!o)ered
the bird under the pile of !ow dung,
andpromptl# dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the stor#:
"#$ %ot everyone who shits on you is your
enemy.
"&$ %ot everyone who gets you out of shit is
your friend.
"'$ And when you!re in deep shit, it!s best
to keep your mouth shut(
)ongratulations(((
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