Miracles

Made Possible
by
William Thomas Tucker
An Autobiographical Discovery of God
with an
Introduction
by
Neale Donald Walsch
Author of the
Conversations With God
series and related boos
copyright, William Thomas Tucker, 2001
CONTENTS
Chapter
1. Children Know about God
2. Being of the World, Without God
. !inding God
". The !or#ula for Getting $ira%le&
'. (ow to Get $ira%le&
). Getting $ira%le& for the *&+ing and Belie,ing
-. *%tuall. Getting What /ou Believe
0. !ear 1n23oe& $ira%le&
4. 5i,ing $ira%ulou&l.
16. *ll 7eople Can (a,e $ira%le&
11. The 7ropertie& of $ira%le&
12. Belie,ing in $ira%le& $a+e The# So
1. The Se%ret of 5ife
1". (ow We (urt Our $ira%le&
1'. $ira%le& 8e9uire Ba%+ward Thin+ing
1). $. Greate&t $ira%le
1-. 8e#inder& for Getting $ira%le&
Epilogue
!O8W*83
This book is dedicated to all of the self-identified theists! and gnostics!,
"ho, "hile claiming to either deny the e#istence of $od, or claim not to kno" one "ay or
another, are sometimes more in league "ith $od than e%en they reali&e, and sometimes
are more in league "ith $od and 'is "ishes than those "ho profess faith( ) ha%e been
there, but "as a"akened by a series of other"ise une#plainable e%ents that pro%ed the
e#istence, and lo%e, of the great ) m!, to me( The ensuing story "ithin these pages
recounts that *ourney and the re%ealing of $od as it happened, the "ay it happened, so
that you, too, may e#perience the understanding! as it unfolded to me( The ultimate
result, hopefully, "ill be that the proofs and lessons to be learned "ithin these pages "ill
act to spur you along your o"n similar *ourney(((back to the bosom of $od from "hence
"e all came( nd, further, that you "ill come to ultimately reali&e that you, too, can ha%e
any miracle you desire from $od(((on demand(
+f course, ,elie%ers!, as "ell, are in%ited to come closer to $od through sharing
the uni-ue e#periences described "ithin this book(
The purpose of this book is to relate a series of the author.s life e#periences that
pro%ed to him, beyond a shado" of a doubt, in not only the existence of $od, but 'is
proacti%e role in our e%eryday, modern li%es( /urther, it is the hope and belief of the
author that by so sharing these %ery personal e%ents, the reader "ill come to a ne", or
rene"ed, belief in $od to enrich their li%es(
$od e#ists0 +f that, ) no longer ha%e any doubt( Those "ho doubt ha%e only to
reach out to $od and ask $od to re%eal $od.s 1elf in their li%es2 sk, and you shall
recei%e( 'o"e%er, as it "ill become painfully clear, this is the most difficult thing for any
man, "oman, or child to do, although far less difficult for the child( )t is difficult because
it ignites3triggers a fundamental fear in mankind( The fear! is that if it turns out that
there really is no $od!4then "e are truly all alone( nd, the fear of that is almost
de%astating( ,etter to not kno", than to be disappointed( )f it "ere other"ise, this book,
and others like it, "ould not be necessary(
Within these pages, you shall read of multiple representati%e e#amples of $od
proacti%ely blessing 'is children -- us - "ith 'is beneficence through real-life miracles(
5iracles!, in the true sense of the "ord, meaning happenstances that can be e#plained
no other "ay( /or our first understanding of A Miracle, "hich "ill e%ol%e in definition as
the story unfolds, are great big "indfalls!( n une#plainable healing! of the physical
body, "ould be one e#ample, or the receipt of millions of dollars simply for the asking, or
any of a myriad of "onderful e%ents, both large and small, and in bet"een(
) ask not for your faith( To begin, ) ask you to accept nothing ) say "ithout
-uestion(( 6lease, be skeptical( 7hallenge any theory!, any statement, anything and
e%erything is open to your scrutiny( /or only you can decide "hat you belie%e, "hat you
belie%e in, and "hat you choose to belie%e, or not belie%e, relati%e to $od.s e#istence4or
non-e#istence( ) "ill sho" ho" ) ha%e come to see the proof.s of $od.s e#istence all
around us( Whether you choose to look at them, analy&e them for "hat they are, and
come to grips "ith them, or turn a"ay, unseeing, is your business( 'o"e%er, if you ha%e
not seen them in the past, the problem may be that you ha%e not kno"n "here or ho" to
look( 5aybe the ans"er, for you, lies "ithin((((
n analogy is, perhaps, appropriate here( To me, $od is like electricity( )t.s
al"ays there, all around you, in the "alls of your home, "aiting silently to ser%e( 8ou
can.t see it( 8ou can.t taste it, nor touch it( )f someone totally unfamiliar "ith electricity
"ere to enter your home, you "ould ha%e trouble e#plaining the concept of electricity,
and much trouble pro%ing that it actually e#isted in your "alls, unseen and unfelt as it is(
The only "ay you could possibly prove to your %isitor, that it is there, "ould be to
demonstrate its effects( 8ou could plug a lamp into the "all, and turn it on!( The light
bla&ing forth "ould ama&e your %isitor, "ould it not9 They still "ould not really
understand electricity, but the effect of light "ould pro%e that some unseen and po"erful
7ause is there and at "ork( They could no longer doubt its e#istence(
) think $od is like that( ) ha%e come to reali&e that $od is
here(((there(((e%ery"here((( "aiting to ser%e you and me( We busy oursel%es, e%ery day,
"ith earthly concerns( We go to "ork, "e interact "ith our families or friends, "e shop,
pay bills, dri%e places, and abo%e all "e ha%e our *obs and our businesses( That.s "hy "e
call it busy-ness!( We stay busy( ,ut, ha%e you e%er considered "hat $od.s *ob is9
What $od.s busy-ness is9
What $od does all day9 8ou ha%e heard the ans"er many times through many
languages, through many religions, in many books, and many cultures( That ans"er has
ne%er changed( $od is busy performing miracles, upon re-uest or expectation for billions
of people all o%er the planet e%ery day( We "on.t see them, though, if "e don.t ask for
them, and believe in them, or look for them, or ackno"ledge them, or accredit them(
)t is in the expectation that :nbelie%ers also get miracles from $od( +h, )
understand that they don.t credit $od "ith the happy result of their luck!(((but $od isn.t
necessarily looking for credit lines( $od has made mankind a promise, and $od always
li%es up to 'is promises0 $od promises that 'e "ill ans"er all prayers that are first
believed in4and the ans"er is never No!(
) recogni&e that e%en a %ery faithful! person may sometimes make a re-uest of
$od, and not ha%e it fulfilled( Despite the miraculous e%ents that ) relate in this book,
that happens to me regularly( When that happens, "e are perple#ed( 'o" could this
be9! "e ask oursel%es( The ob%ious ans"er -- that $od does not e#ist and is only a
figment of mankind.s collecti%e imagination -- is too horrible to e%en consider( 1o, there
must be a better e#planation as to "hy $od has let us do"n(
5any representati%es of faiths, "hen pressed for an ans"er, they also do not ha%e
an ans"er to, make up a logical! ans"er( 1ome declare, That is the supernatural
mystery0!, "hile others announce, The mind of man is too feeble to be able to
understand the mind of $od0!, "hile still others rationali&e, $od does ans"er all
prayers, but sometimes the ans"er is ;No.0!
)s that possible9 )s that "ritten do"n any"here9 )n any of the "orld.s religious
books9 'as anybody on the planet got a -uote from $od "herein $od says, ) "ill
ans"er all prayers( ,ut, sometimes 5y ans"er "ill be ;No.!(((9 )f the ans"er could be
No!(((is that an acceptable response to $od ans"ers all prayers!9 )sn.t a ;denial. the
same as ;no ans"er.9 )f my child asks me for some candy, and ) turn my back on him,
and do not respond(((ha%e ) ans"ered! his re-uest by gi%ing him "hat he "ants9(((or
ha%e ) *ust denied him by ignoring his re-uest9 Thereby, by definition, ) am not
ans"ering his re-uest, am )9
7onsider this, for the time being2 8ou probably feel that man is fallible, and that
$od is infallible, by definition( fter all, all of earth.s religions preach that( 1o, ).ll
concede that point for the moment( Then, if there is a break do"n in communication
bet"een man and $od((("hose fault! do you think it is9 The )nfallible +ne9 +r fallible
mankind.s9 5y money.s on you(((and me0
5aybe(((*ust, maybe(((it isn.t $od "ho ;drops the ball.( 5aybe it.s you and me(
5aybe $od understands our communication <re-uest for a miracle= %ery "ell, but you
and ) fail to accurately communicate our heart.s desires(((fearlessly((("hole-
heartedly(((faithfully( 7ould that be the case9 +f course, if you are an atheist, you
probably don.t think you are e%en asking( Why bother, you rationali&e -- nobody.s
listening any"ay0 +f course, that is, until your back is to the "all, and you desperately
need help(((big help(((like a miracle!(((then, like the rest of us, you no doubt "ill reach
out(((e%en if you don.t belie%e(((or more precisely, don.t think you belie%e( )t.s been said
that there are no atheists in a fo#hole( /aced "ith life or death, ).%e ne%er met anybody
"ho %oluntarily opts for death( nd, that includes suicides( 1uicidal people "elcome
death as an acceptable alternati%e to "hat they percei%e is e%en "orse -- the pain they are
e#periencing( nd, "hat is that pain!9 The pain of 1elf->e*ection( nd, self-re*ection is
the ultimate denial of the presence and e#istence of $od( ,ut, "e.ll touch on that in
greater detail in this book(
Turn, then, to the first 7hapter, and take a *ourney of disco%ery "ith me as )
recount the most ama&ing e%ents ) could e%er ha%e imagined happening( ll, that is
contained "ithin, is true, and %erifiable( )t "ill open your eyes(((and your mind(((and,
most importantly, your heart( 8ou are about to come home(((home to the you that is
you(((home to your embryonic beginnings of life on this planet(((back to re-membering
Who 8ou re, and What 8ou re(((and you "ill re*oice(
The information contained herein is offered as the irrefutable secrets of life that, although
are in conflict "ith science and con%entional religion of all faiths, is nonetheless kno"n
to all men by %irtue of the fact that $od has put the %eracity of them in all men.s souls(
Acknowledgment
) "ish to ackno"ledge my good friend Neale Donald Walsch( ) don.t kno" if )
ha%e the right to call him my good friend! because ) ha%e ne%er asked him( 'o"e%er,
"hether he "ould agree to be called my friend or not, he has become my good and
faithful friend because of the message of $od.s lo%e that he has brought into my life
through his books( ) lo%ed his books because they substantiated e%erything about $od
that ) had surmised for myself o%er my lifetime of e#periences( Neale and ) ha%e
grappled "ith the same issues of organi&ed religion from different perspecti%es( Neale as
an insider! <being 7atholic=, and me as an outsider "ho couldn.t find a religion that
"anted to abide my indi%iduality!(
There are three distinctions bet"een Neale and me that ) "ould like to point out(
/irst of all, $od has communicated the same information to me as he has to Neale, but,
unlike "ith Neale, $od doesn.t talk to me, %erbally, much( 'e communicates by
bringing ;miracles. into my life, literally demonstrating 'is lo%e(
1econd, Neale has "ritten his books from a Ne" ,ible! point of %ie", putting
$od.s message in the traditional +ld and Ne" Testaments in proper perspecti%e( ), on the
other hand, fre-uently -uote or dra" us back to the original, traditional ,ible <as "e ha%e
today.s translations= and relate Walsch.s ne"! message to the original "ords( ) do this
because the original "ords are true( We ha%e *ust t"isted them to suit our o"n
perceptions( ) am in a"e that mankind has not altered the actual "ords in The ,ible to
suit their o"n theories and perceptions o%er the millennia( $od must ha%e had a hand in
that0 /or e#ample, ?esus said, if smitten on one cheek, turn and offer your other4"hile
the 7rusaders charged into battle calling to kill in the name of 7hrist( ) don.t understand
"hy they ne%er bothered to change ?esus. "ords in their ,ible to, $o kill in my name!(
That "ould ha%e *ustified their actions0
nd lastly, Neale %acillates bet"een referring to $od as a male gender and a
female gender, and e%en says in Friendship With God that maybe 'e.s neither( ).d like to
clarify this particular point( )t ama&es me ho" so many people profess to belie%e in The
,ible "ithout e%er ha%ing read it, much less understanding "hat it says0 To begin "ith,
they think it.s a book -- but it.s not( )t.s %ery name from the @atin ,iblia! means many
books!, and indeed, each chapter! in it is so labeled A $enesis, the /irst ,ook of 5osesB
C#odus, the 1econd ,ook of 5osesB etc(
/urthermore, most people do not e%en reali&e that the ,ible they are familiar "ith
is not e%en close to being the "hole ,ible( +%er the centuries, %arious ecumenical
councils and e%en the publishers ha%e met and decided "hich books to put in and "hich
to lea%e out( They also decide "hich translation to use from the often ambiguous original
$reek or @atin or 'ebre" te#ts( /re-uently -- e%ery 20 years or so for the past 2,000
years -- they change the %ery "ords, sometimes dramatically0 /or e#ample, The ,ook of
Thomas "as unearthed from the Dead 1ea ca%es in 1DEF and has not been touched in
these 2,000 years( 7hrist.s "ords, as reported by the Disciple Thomas are radically
stronger than the "ords "e ha%e in the other four $ospels( +ur present day $ospels ha%e
been smoothed out! to make 7hrist seem more learned!(
,ut, back to $od.s gender!( /or eons "e ha%e been referring to $od as 'im!,
as a male( Why9 ,ecause, our Cnglish translation comes from the orinal $reek te#ts(
There are three genders in $reek <and in the original 'ebre" te#t= A male, female, and
neuter, or it!(
$od, "hose pronoun "as )t! literally translates as $odhead!, neither male nor female(
)n
1GFH D, ?ohn Wycliff made the first translation of the ,ible to Cnglish, and "hen he
came to $odhead! he "as stumped( 'e had to pick one of the only t"o genders in
Cnglish to be $od.s pronoun( No", ?ohn "as a male4enough said(
@iteralists "ill tell you that The ,ible says that $od created man in 'is o"n
)mage!0
Not so( >ead the entire sentence0 )t says, $od made man in 'is o"n )mageB male and
female made 'e them, in 'is )mage!(
No", if "e replace the errant translation "ith the correct <original= "ords, it
comes out4($od made man<kind= in $odhead.s o"n )mageB male and female made
$odhead them in $odhead.s )mage!( 1o, $od is not male!, nor female!, nor
neither!4$od is ll(
)n my te#t, ) ha%e attempted to a%oid 'im or 'er!, 'e or 1he!( ) used $od or
$od.s! to sho" possession "hene%er possible( ) trust this attention to accuracy "ill not
distract the reader(
Introduction
b.
Neale 3onald Wal&%h
author of
Conversations With God - Books 1, 2, , and other wor+&
) first became ac-uainted "ith ,ill Tucker "hen ) learned of the "onderful miracles
that ha%e occurred in his life( ) "as immediately taken "ith ho" ,ill had been putting
into practice the messages presented in the Conversations with God books about ho" life
and faith "orks(

) had a chance to meet ,ill personally "hen he attended one of my lectures, and "e
had the opportunity to discuss some of his e#periences( fe" months later, as ) "as
compiling true-life stories of miracles for my book Moments of Grace, ) selected one of
,ill.s stories from the many hundreds ) ha%e recei%ed from readers for inclusion( ,ut
,ill has had so many interesting and significantly representati%e e#periences in his life
that ) asked him if ) could include a second story in the book( 1o there are t"o ,ill
Tucker anecdotes in Moments of Grace, and that attests to the fact that this man has led a
fascinating life in "hich he has learned to call forth miracles from the uni%erse(

,ecause he has had so many "onderful e#periences, ) suggested that ,ill "rite a book
of his o"n and share all of his stories "ith the "orld( ).m glad that he has done so,
because the telling of his stories makes it clear that such e#periencesI"hile e#citing and
inspiringIneed not be considered the pro%ince of a select fe"( We are all miracle
"orkers, and the grace of $od and the po"er of $od and the help of $od are a%ailable to
e%ery man and e%ery "oman and e%ery child, in e%ery moment, and that is the point here(
The grand illusion of our "orld is that miracles are rareIand that this is, in fact, "hat
-ualifies them to be called miracles( ,ill Tucker sho"s here that miracles are normal
occurrences "hen one is thinking accurate thoughtsIabout oneself and about $od( The
challenge is to change our belief systems, to change our thoughts(

That.s all ,ill did( 'e did it early in his life, and it has ser%ed him in many "onderful
"ays( 1o read, no", ho" a regular, ordinary person "ith normal skills and abilities, *ust
like you and me, e#perienced some breathtaking, stunning moments of grace! in his life
Iand ho" you can do e#actly the same in yours(
Neale 3onald Wal&%h
Chapter 1
Children Know about God
:n the Beginning...
The purpose for this book is to relate my e#periences in a long road to"ard my
disco%ery of $od, and the miracles $od performs in our li%es on a daily basis( nd,
miracles simply for the asking(((and belie%ing( 'opefully, you "ill deri%e some insight
on this sub*ect, as "ell, as you tra%el the road ) took, "ith me(
:ntil much later in life, ) had no idea "here my initial belief in the e#istence of
$od came from( ll ) kno" is that, from the beginning of memory, ) kne" $od( @ater )
fell a"ay, but in the beginning, as a "ee tiny child, ) kne" $od( ) kne" there was a $od(
nd, ) kne" that $od lo%ed me( 5y parents "ere di%orced "hen ) "as about three years
old( 5y mother had to place my baby sister and me in a /oster 'ome "hile she "orked
to be able to afford to bring us back home to her( 1he remarried "hen ) "as fi%e, and she
and my step-father came and retrie%ed my sister and me from the home of unt! Cdna(
+ne of their first acts "as to buy a small house on a go%ernment $) loan, and then to
purchase furniture for it( This recalls my first, conscious, recollection of my belief in
$od(
They took me along one day to shop for a kitchen table( This "as the late 1DE0.s,
and aluminum and /ormica "ere the ine#pensi%e materials of choice( ) remember the
store "as "all-to-"all "ith aluminum and /ormica table and chair sets( ,ut, there in the
middle of this %ast e#panse "as a beautiful knotty pine "ood kitchen set( )t immediately
caught my mother.s eye( ,ut, it "as the most costly item in the store( 1o, my parents
shopped, and shopped, and shopped ruminating o%er this set and that, but al"ays my
mother "ould gra%itate back to the beautiful "ood set(
Trailing along, and underfoot, ) "as ignored "hile serious discussions "ere going
on about the cost of the "ood set( 1o, bored and curious, ) cra"led under the table( )
looked up and "as horrified0 The table "as not finished underneath0 'o" could this
be90! ) thought( The ne#t thought that shot across my mind "as, 'o" could $od ha%e
sent me to earth before it "as finished(((before it "as ;perfect.90!
) remember that e#perience as if it "ere yesterday( )t is crystal clear, and
imbedded in my memory( 6robably, because ) "as so shocked0 1omeho", ) kne" that
"here ) had come from, before being birthed on planet earth, that place "as absolute
perfection( ) "as perple#ed( ) couldn.t belie%e that ) "as in a place "here tables "ere
acceptable(((unfinished0
) immediately cra"led out from under the table, and rushed to my mother.s side(
Tugging on her skirt, ) "anted to "arn her not to buy the set because it "as fla"ed( )t
"as not perfect( )t "as unfinished on the underside "here gro"n-ups couldn.t see(
5omma, 5omma,! ) insisted, but she *ust brushed me off "ith a, Not no", ,illy,
5ommy is busy talking to this salesman(!
,ut, ) persisted( When ) finally got her attention and told her of my disco%ery, she
and my father and the salesman burst out laughing, and talked do"n to me as if ) couldn.t
understand the sophistication of the adult "orld( ) "as stunned( ) can.t remember my
e#act thoughts after that, but the result "as that ) accepted that if they "anted to be
stupid, and buy a half-finished table, they only had themsel%es to thank(
+f course, this re%elation is not about kitchen table sets( )t.s about my assumed
kno"ledge of the e#istence of a $od, my /ather, in 'ea%en, and of my e#istence before
being born into planet earth( None of that seemed important for many, many years( +f
course, ) assumed, there "as a $od, and $od "as my <ultimate= /ather, and $od sent me
to earth to be born and li%e here( That all "ent "ithout saying( nd, that.s the point of
the story( @ong before ) "as told anything about $od, or attended 1unday 1chool, or
7hurch((() kne" there "as a $od((( intrinsically( )t "as an inherent part of Who ) Was(
The !all...
s a child, ) "as teased by the other kids for being such a big ad%ocate of $od( )
refused to smoke cigarettes behind the garage "ith them, take candy from the store
"ithout paying, or to e%en use s"ear! "ords, because ) didn.t "ant to offend $od( They
mocked me and laughed at me, and ) didn.t like being different!, but ) also did not "ant
to offend $od( +%er time, a s"ear "ord here and there "ould slip out of my mouth, and
) berated myself heartily for it, chastising myself se%erely, pri%ately, for ha%ing cursed(
nd, then came the re%elation from the older kids about se#!0 +hmygod, ) couldn.t
belie%e it0 What a horrible thing to ha%e to do0 <+b%iously this re%elation came a little
too early for me, but ) really "armed up to the idea in time(=
)n fact, ) became pretty "ell acclimated to planet earth as ) began to fit in! "ith
the "ays of the "orld( With this acclamation, ) became more one of the guys!, and
spent far less time "orrying about "hat $od thought(
Then it happened( ).ll ne%er forget it as long as ) li%e( )t "as my final
comeuppance( ) "as 1G years old( )t "as a 1aturday about mid-morning, and ) "as
sitting on the stoop of our rented duple# situated on a busy street "here the speed limit
"as GJ mph( There "ere a half-do&en K-year-olds playing ;kick-the-ball. in the front
yard, ne#t door( ll of a sudden, the ball missed its intended player, and scooted out
bet"een the parked cars into the street( ,efore the "ord 1top0! could emanate from my
throat, one boy rushed after it, out into the street, shooting out bet"een the parked cars( )
ne#t heard the s-ueal of tires, heard the sickening thud, and sa" the little body fly
through the air(
) "as off the stoop in a shot and rushed to the curb, as all of the doors of the
homes lining the street burst open, and do&ens of parents rushed, horrified, to the curb,
"ith me( There, laying in the street, "as the bloodied body of the small child, crumpled
and t"isted and unconscious( 6eople "ere screaming, as ) stood transfi#ed, staring, not
kno"ing "hat to do ne#t( nything seemed to be too late( Then the dri%er got out of his
car( 'e "as about E2 years old, and "as staggering drunk( 'e careened his "ay around
to the front of his car, and said loudly, That.ll teach you to run out into the street, ya.
little bastard0! nd, "ith that, he climbed back into his car and dro%e off0
) couldn.t belie%e my eyes, or my ears0 ) "as fro&en into inaction( ) didn.t e%en
ha%e the presence of mind to get his license number( ) had ne%er seen death before, nor
e%en an accident( ) "as, in fact, *ust becoming a"are of a "orld outside of my
neighborhood and school( ) had *ust, "ithin days before that horrific e%ent, started to
read the ne"s part of the ne"spaper, instead of *ust the comics( ) "as troubled about
stories ) had read about black people being treated as second-class citi&ens by not being
able to use a "hite person.s "ater fountain, or sit at a lunch counter at Wool"orths( ) "as
haunted by pictures ) had seen of naked, little children running and crying "ith burned
bodies from the ra%ages of "ar in some foreign land, ) kne" not "here( ) "as
o%erhearing stories told by my parents and :ncles about their e#periences during World
War )), ended only eight years before( The terrible atrocities, ) heard related, sent my
mind di&&yingly into a spiral as ) struggled "ith ho" mankind could do such things to
their fello" man( +h, sure, "e had ;tough kids. at school "ho seemed to delight in
making a smaller kid.s life miserable( ,ut, ) couldn.t reconcile anybody putting human
beings into o%ens( )t "as unthinkable0 Cspecially if there "as an all-lo%ing $od0
s the din of ambulance sirens and the angry shouts of adults filled the air, )
"alked a"ay pondering ho" a lo%ing $od could allo" this beautiful, small, innocent
child to be so hurtfully maimed "hile that rotten old drunk dri%er dro%e, healthily, a"ay(
What kind of a place am ) in, any"ay90! ) angrily demanded of no one( ?ust "hat kind
of a hell-hole "orld is this90!
) stood stunned, there, on my front la"n, and stared up at the sky( 'elp me,
/ather,! ) said, ).m losing my faith in 8ou0 'elp me to understand all of this(! Then it
occurred to me( 5aybe there isn.t an all-lo%ing $od( 5aybe $od is a figment of man.s
imagination( 1ort of a "histle in the dark against all of the things "e can.t understand
and can.t control( buffer against the "ild beasts at the door of our ca%e( +hmygod,! )
thought, at the re%elation, 5aybe ).m all alone0 5aybe there isn.t a $od ) can count on(
5aybe there isn.t an +mnipresence ho%ering o%er me like a protecting blanket0!
) laid do"n on the la"n.s grass and "hispered out loud, $od( 'elp me, please(
'elp me to keep my faith in you( ) kno"0 $i%e me a sign that you are there(((( perform
a tiny little miracle, *ust for me, so that ) may belie%e( ) kno", make this one tiny blade
of grass ).m looking at, bend o%er(((all by itself( Then ).ll kno" that you.re there and )
ha%e nothing to fear(!
) stared and stared at that little blade of grass, *ust an inch in front of my nose(
Nothing happened( )t didn.t budge( $od needs a second chance,! ) rationali&ed( $od0
5ake some rain fall, out of this cloudless blue sky, right on my head( ?ust a fe" drops
that no one else "ill see( This is *ust bet"een 8ou and me( ) need my faith strengthened0
).m afraid ).m losing my faith in 8ou( 6lease, *ust do this one little thing for me, so that )
may belie%e(!
) stood up(((and looked up( ) stood transfi#ed for a long time( No rain fell( 1o,!
) thought to myself, this is it( The end of innocence( There is no $od( There is only
me( ) cannot count on any help throughout life from anyone( ) am going to ha%e to take
care of me and mine( Whate%er fate befalls me, throughout life, "ill only be due to my
o"n ignorance or mistakes( ) ha%e to be strong( ) ha%e to take care of myself( )f ) am to
ha%e anything in this "orld, ) am going to ha%e to do it for myself( ) "ill ha%e to study
hard and get a good education, and "ork hard(((harder than anybody(((on my *ob, so that )
can.t be fired( ).m going to ha%e to "ork, and "ork, and "ork to be able to afford a
house and furniture, and clothes for my o"n children(((cause there ain.t anybody
here(((but me(! The co%enant "ith myself "as sealed( )t took a fe" more "eeks before )
admitted to myself that ) "as an theist(((but, ) finally did(
,ut, ) kept that to myself( ) dare not trust anyone "ith this information( fter all,
) reasoned, it "as all there right in front of all of us for anyone "ho "anted to face the
truth( )f they chose not to, maybe they "eren.t ready to face their fears(((or, "orse yet,
their responsibilities( 5aybe that.s "hy some of them drank boo&e on a 1aturday
morning( ) kne" a lot of adults "ho dro"n their personal de%ils! in a bottle( The affect
it had on me "as another co%enant( ) determined that if ) "as going to be responsible for
me, ) couldn.t afford to cloud my brain, and ) had seen that boo&e surely did that( ).m not
saying ).m a teetotaler, nor that ).%e ne%er been drunk in my life, but ) can count, on one
hand, the number of times( nd, certainly did not get behind the "heel of a car "hen
inebriated0 ) had learned that lesson first hand( The last thing in the "orld ) e%er "anted
"as to be responsible for hurting another human being, if at all possible(
That.s ho" ) thought at age 1G( The course of my life for the ne#t 2D years "as
set(
Chapter 2
Being of the World, Without God
Ta+ing 8e&pon&ibilit.
) could not ha%e imagined in a thousand years "hat "as in store for me 2D years
hence( )t is so shocking, so un-real, that it has taken me decades to put it do"n in print,
here( ) "as afraid that nobody "ould understand( ) "as afraid that people "ould think )
"as cra&y, and lock me up in a loony bin( ) "as afraid to be re*ected by all of mankind(((a
person "ithout a country(((maybe "ithout a place in the "orld( ) "as afraid ) "ouldn.t be
able to find the "ords that "ould help people to understand my sincerity( ,ut, ) needn.t
ha%e feared( ) ha%e since told hundreds of people, one-on-one, and, "hile they are in
a"e, none has not belie%ed me( The reason for that "ill become clear as this story
unfolds(
,ut, first, before "e leap for"ard 2D years, it is necessary to gi%e a brief o%er%ie"
of the e%ents of those ensuing 2D years(
The details aren.t necessary to the story, but it is important to kno" that ) "as not
a good student in high school( ) earned either s or /s, and hardly anything in bet"een(
There "ere reasons, but they aren.t important( t least, it "asn.t because ) didn.t ha%e
the natural capacity to learn( ) dropped out of high school t"o months before graduation
"hen ) learned that ) "ould not be graduating "ith my class( ngrily, ) "alked out the
door of my high school and dro%e straight to my ir /orce >ecruiter.s office( The ne#t
day ) "as flying to @ackland ir /orce ,ase in Te#as, and from there ) spent the ne#t four
years in $ermany, getting my pro%erbial act together!(
During "hat free time ) had in high school, and then later in the ir /orce, ) spent
a%ocationally studying history, religion, and the history of religion, on my o"n, in an
attempt to understand ho" the "orld got in the shape ) found it in( ) attended many
7hurches( 7atholic, ,aptist, a group "ho called themsel%es 'oly >ollers!, @utheran,
6resbyterian, 6rotestant, ) e%en attended a ?e"ish 1ynagogue "ith ?e"ish friends for a
little "hile( ) got an Cnglish %ersion of the Loran <Mu.ran= and read it( C%en the
5ormons didn.t escape my scrutiny as ) read the ,ook of 5oroni( ) "as looking for
something( ) "as trying to find out if any religion got it right!( ) "as functioning as a
solo human being, but ) didn.t like being on the outside looking-in, so to speak( ) didn.t
relish being alone!0
1till, ) "as skeptical( ) sa" a man on tele%ision named +ral >oberts( >oberts
"as a Tent >e%i%alist( That meant he tra%eled from to"n to to"n, set up a gigantic tent,
and rallied people to hear his sermons( The highlight of the sho"! "as "hen he "ould
call the lame and the infirm for"ard to his ;pulpit.( 'e "ould lay his hands on the
person.s forehead, and pray out loud, almost as if screaming to $od( Then, he "ould
slam his hand against the person.s forehead knocking him or her off their crutches, and
flat on their back( 'e had a couple of assistants positioned to catch the person as they
fell( What a fraud0! ) thought( 'o" can he get a"ay "ith this charlatan stuff9 re all
those people in cahoots "ith him90! +ral >oberts "as a laughing stock to many people(
lot of people thought he "as a fraud( ) "as mystified, though, at the ob%ious sincerity
of the people he healed!( ) "as sure that, "hate%er else "as going on, they really
belie%ed( They al"ays got up, thre" their crutches a"ay, and "alked a"ay on their o"n(
) *ust shook my head, and put it out of my head( fter all, $od hadn.t performed any
miracles on this planet for the past 2,000 years(((right9 <+f course, today you.d ha%e a
hard time e#plaining that one to +ral or his son >ichard >oberts since they ha%e a huge
7hurch and a :ni%ersity, among other things, as a direct result of their faith in $od.s
miracles0=
) continued my hobby throughout my stay in Curope( ) ne%er found "hat ) "as
looking for( ) did become fairly kno"ledgeable of %arious religious teachings, beliefs,
traditions and rituals( ,ut, honestly, ) found most of them -- especially the rituals --
foolish "astes of time( +h, don.t get me "rong( ) found much ) liked( ) "as no" a man
"ithout code!( ) "as free to decide "hat ) "ould honor and respect, and "hat ) "ould
not( ) could be a master criminal or li%e a saintly life( )t didn.t matter, because there "as
no ultimate punishment! for an atheist, e#cept final death( )f you don.t belie%e in $od,
then there is no hell, or 1atan, or any other-"orldly thing to fear, after all( There is only
permanent sleep from "hich no one "akes( The party is o%er( /inito( Done( $one(
,ut, ) found ) needed a code( ) liked ?esus( ) liked "hat 'e had to say( ) liked
"hat 'e did( ) liked his philosophy!( ) decided that "as a good code to li%e by( ,ut, )
determined, ) "ould li%e it as 'e preached and li%ed it(((not the "ay it "as taught in the
7hurches ) had %isited( ) had no intention of fearing $od!( That seemed silly( )
understood that 7hrist said, When your enemy smites you on the one cheek, turn and
offer him your other!( That made some sort of non-sensical! sense to me( fter all, )
reasoned, if ) hit someone, ) could fully e#pect to be hit back( ,ut, ) didn.t see that
7hristian! beha%ior in the actions of anyone around me( ) sa" anger( ) sa" arguments(
) sa" people lost! and turning to drink( ) sa" "ars( ) sa" hurt!(
) read about the 7rusades and ho" the Lnights Templar slaughtered heathens! in
the 'oly @and to reclaim it in the name of ?esus, and "ondered ho" that e#emplified
turn the other cheek!( ) read about the 1panish )n-uisition and "ondered ho" anybody
could rationali&e killing anybody else in the name of 7hrist( 'onestly, ) could ne%er find
one passage in any holy book that endorsed killing as a "ay to faith(
nd, ) sa" people rationali&ing all sorts of beha%iors and beliefs that ) could not
reconcile "ith the teachings of any faith( lmost e%ery sermon ) e%er attended in any
religious ser%ice, and e%en on the 7hristian radio station, all ) heard "ere *udgments!(
>ailings, denigrating anyone "ho didn.t belie%e the "ay they belie%ed( This one.s a
sinner and going straight to hell, and that one is defiling the religion( 5ostly, they
"eren.t preoccupied "ith atheists, although they really seemed to hate secure
humanists! "ith a passion( No, mostly they "ere attacking people of other faiths(((or
people of their o"n faith "ith "hom they disagreed( )t "as all too much condemnation
for me( ) *ust shook my head, and "as glad to be out of the clutches of any religion0
) reconciled my original sin guilt! by reali&ing that ) can.t be born a sinner!
because of the act of some guy born thousands of years before me "ho defied $od and
ate the fruit of kno"ledge( ) reasoned that if $od "anted to offer me the choice of either
accepting 'im "ith blind faith and li%ing fore%er, or eating the fruit of kno"ledge of
good and e%il from the tree of life, ).d pass on the fruit!0
)n fact, ) took it a step further( )n the age old debate bet"een religionists! and
secular humanists! about the origin-creation of mankind <,ig bang! theory %ersus
$arden of Cden!=, ) came to reali&e that they both had to be "rong(
When the Cnglish translation of The ,ible says dam and C%e NateN, that "ord
can mean NingestN(((but it can also mean NacceptN, as in Ndam ;ate. a lieN( Then, NfruitN
can mean the pulpy mass that gro"s on a tree or bush, or ;result., as in NdamOs paycheck
"as the ;fruit. of his laborsN( NTreeN can mean a leafy perennial plant, or it can be a
;representati%e relationship structure. as in the family tree!( Therefore, ) reasoned, a
more correct interpretation of the sentence, Ndam and C%e ate the fruit of kno"ledge
from the tree of life and kne" good from e%il(N, might be, NThe first man and the first
"oman accepted the result of the kno"ledge of good and e%ilN(
nd, ) merrily "ent on my "ay, turning the other cheek( +nly ) called it,
considering the source!( 5uch later, ) learned to forgi%e them for "hat they kne" not
for "hat they did( nd, much later yet, ) learned to lo%e them for their failings( /or, )
reali&ed, it "asn.t me they "ere striking out against, but rather, from some inner pain,
and sense of self-re*ection that someone had "rongly planted in them0
)n fact, in any uni%ersity.s 1emantics 101 course, "e learn that "hen people are
talking about someone or something else, they are not making a statement about that
other thing at all( They are only describing their o"n perception of it( ll statements are
colored! by our perceptual e#periences, and therefore are statements of ho" we see
them!(((not ho" they truly are( Therefore, "hen people say that "e are too defensi%e!,
for e#ample, they are not describing us at all( They are merely describing ho" they feel!
about us, and ho" they percei%e! us( They are making a statement about ho" they are
%ie"ing us( )s that an accurate interpretation! of our beha%ior9 5aybe(((or maybe not(
5aybe "e are being defensi%e!( +r, maybe they *ust feel threatened by us and can find
no other e#pression to o%erpo"er us( What is important to hear "hen anybody says
anything that is a *udgment call! <and isn.t e%erything "e say a *udgment!9=, "e should
hear their feelings and seek to understand "hy they are making that particular
*udgment!( Then, rather than being defensi%e! about that allegation, "e might hear!
"hat is behind it, and address that(
+%er the ne#t 2D years, ) finished high school "hile in 1er%ice, and then "ent on
to graduate cum laude from college, got a succession of *obs that fulfilled me, and
allo"ed me full and free e#pression of Who ) Wanted To ,e -- a corporate e#ecuti%e in
the "orld of business, but one that allo"ed me to be creati%e and responsible( ) also
*oined the Na%al >eser%e after college because of urgings "ithin me to do something
patriotic for my country(
s a teenager ) had a gotten the only *ob ) seemed to be -ualified forB ) sold
ne"spaper subscriptions door-to-door, and o%er time, learned to be a pretty fair salesman,
e%ol%ing my o"n theories on ho" to sell( Those skills seemed to be %aluable in e%ery *ob
) had after that( ) had dreamed of being an ad%ertising man!, and did that sort of "ork
for many years(
) married my high school s"eetheart, bought a ranch home in the suburbs, and
began helping to raise our t"o daughters( ) dro%e a nice car, "as able to set a little
money aside, then in%est some, and e%entually "e e%en bought a second car( ) found
much personal satisfaction o%er the years as a %olunteer in community ser%ices such as
the ,oy 1couts, ?unior chie%ement, %arious scholarship funds, ad infinitum(
@ife "as good(
Chapter
!inding God
5ife, a& : +now it, end&...
,arbara "as a beautiful person, inside and out( 5ore importantly, my "ife "as
lo%ed by e%eryone( 1he made e%erybody feel special( 1he ne%er *udged anyone( )n fact,
she appeared to not ha%e an opinion about anything( nd, that "as her problem( 1he had
become so accustomed to suppressing her opinions, feelings, etc(, that she "as al"ays, as
long as ) kne" her, slightly depressed(
1he took pleasure in things, most notably our children and their de%elopment, but
she ne%er seemed to e#perience *oy!( t least, not until the end( Whene%er "e "ould
take the girls to an amusement park, the children and ) "ould go on the rides, but ,arbara
"ould al"ays opt to hold the coats, camera, and any other stuff, instead of putting them
in a storage locker and *oining us( )t "as as if she used them as an e#cuse not to en*oy
herself( 1he said she deri%ed her pleasure from "atching us(
The reason "as simple and common, but hard to fathom( 'er parents had her late
in life, and they doted on her as a child( They "ouldn.t let her ride a bicycle because,
1he might get killed!( They held off letting her get a dri%er.s license because, 1he
might get killed(! They butted in and tried to control e%ery aspect of her adult life to the
point of interfering "ith our married life( ,arbara kept most of this secret from me( 'er
parents destroyed her self- confidence "ith o%er-protecti%eness( ,arbara "as percei%ed
as fragile!(
,ut, she "as an e#cellent "ife and mother( 1he "as de%oted to her family( nd, )
think she made a secret pact "ith herself to not raise her children in the same sort of
suffocating atmosphere that she had been raised in( 1he "ent to great lengths to solicit
our daughters. opinions about things( 1he shared in their thoughts, and encouraged them(
1he encouraged them to think for themsel%es, "hich, in my opinion, is the greatest gift a
parent can gi%e a child( 1he "ould talk about opportunities "ith them for self-
e#pression, and then, "ith their enthusiasm to try ne" things, she enrolled them
s"imming classes, ballet classes, modern dance classes, gymnastics, taught them to ride
their bikes at a young age, art classes( )n short, she encouraged any acti%ity that the girls
e#pressed an interest in( nd, ,arbara made sure the girls heard ) lo%e you! on a daily
basis0
,arbara "as a professional! homemaker( 1he had al"ays "anted to be a
homemaker, and e%en though she had a Nursing degree, both of us "anted her at home
pro%iding for and raising the family( 1he lo%ed to clean, and nurse, and cook from
scratch( nd, she taught these home! skills to her daughters(
,ut, ) "orried about her, because she seemed so dependent on her parents( 1he
"ould not make e%en a simple decision "ithout asking her mother.s ad%ice( nd, her
mother "as al"ays at the ready to tell her *ust "hat to do, think, feel( )n fact, her parents
had insisted that she attend Nursing 1chool so that she could, 1a%e our li%es "hen "e
become old and infirm!, because they "ere a generation older than us(
,arbara suffered from "hat ) ha%e come to call The 1.5other 1yndrome!( s
parents, "e need to control our babies. actions because they can.t take care of themsel%es(
They don.t understand life %ersus death, and the dangers of cars in the street( 1o, our
brain has to control t"o bodies -- our o"n, and theirs(((at least until they become 10 years
of age( "onderful thing happens at age 10( 7hildren start to think for themsel%es(
They.%e sort of learned to stay out of the street by then, and can maybe be trusted to cross
the street by themsel%es( ,ut, "e ha%e a 10 year habit built up( We.%e been taking
responsibility for them for 10 long years, and no" it.s hard to kno" "hen to let go and let
them start to fend for themsel%es( fter all, "e reason, there is so much more they don.t
kno" that can kill them, or harm them in some "ay( )n fact, it is an easy and natural
transformation to go from being responsible for their %ery li%es! to seeing oursel%es as
being responsible for their %ery happiness!( )t is our o"n fears! that make us fearful
for them( We fear for their potential failures in life( We fear for their successes( nd, "e
"ant to help( 'o" much ;help. do they need9 'o" long shall "e continue to do their
thinking for them9
) am not suggesting cutting them off at age 10( ,ut, ) am suggesting cutting back
a little(((and then, as they gro" older, cutting back a little more( nd, then a little more
until "e feel that they should be able to make it! on their o"n( 6robably some"here
bet"een the ages of 1H and 22( ,ut, are there any mothers "ho are still trying to gi%e
ad%ice and counsel past that age9 re there any mothers "ho interfere "ith their
children.s! li%es tellingthem((("ho to marry, ho" to raise their o"n children, "hat *ob to
take, or telling them to clean their house, etc( beyond the age of 229 re they still their
children! at age EJ9 +r, are they no" independent, capable adults, and not children! at
all, regardless of their former status as "omb-born9
5y o"n perception is, that if one has adult-children "ho cannot fend for
themsel%es, maybe one should look at ho" they contributed to the child.s de%elopment
during the formati%e years by allo"ing that child to think for itself and go its o"n "ay
and make its o"n decisions( )t.s okay to be a mother up to age 10 to 22(((but, at some
point, not letting go turns a mother into a 1.5other!(
Then, tragedy struck( 'er mother contracted diabetes in her F0s( ,arbara, the
professional! Nurse, "ould dutifully administer her mother.s in*ections on a daily basis(
bout a year later, the doctor disco%ered inoperable cancer in her mother and ga%e her
*ust days, maybe "eeks, to li%e( ,arbara "as crushed0 ll of a sudden it struck her as a
thunderbolt( 1he had killed her mother0 +r, so she thought( 1he remembered back to
her nurses. training that "hen an old person comes do"n "ith diabetes, it.s not
necessarily diabetes, but a harbinger of cancer0 1he reasoned that if she had remembered
this lesson from 1J years before, the doctors may ha%e been able to catch the cancer in
time0 1he "as "racked "ith guilt( 1he left our home and mo%ed into her mother.s home
to attend to her e%ery need( When her mother had to finally go into the hospital for her
last days, ,arbara mo%ed in "ith her, taking the bed ne#t to her, and li%ing there day and
night( When her mother finally died se%en "eeks later, ,arbara "as an emotional mess(
1he blamed herself, and no amount of e#planation that could not possibly be true, no
amount of logic or reasoning, could dissuade her from her guilt!(
1he, %ery sadly, confided in me that, no" "ith her mother dead, she "ould ne%er
reali&e her o"n life.s dream( When ) asked "hat that "as, she said, ).%e been "aiting
all of my life to hear my mother say ;) lo%e you.(((*ust once(! ) "as shocked( ) hadn.t
reali&ed that before( s ) reflected on that statement ) reali&ed that it "as true( ) had
ne%er heard my mother-in-la" say those three little "ords, e%en once( <) ha%e
subse-uently disco%ered that is more common in families, than not0=
Muickly, ) tried to reassure her that her mother did, indeed, lo%e her( 5aybe she
"asn.t %ery good at saying it, but all of her doting and daily actions, and interactions "ith
her daughter, pro%ed that( ,ut, it "asn.t nearly enough( ) think that ,arbara interpreted
her mother.s doting not as an e#pression of lo%e!, but rather as an e#pression that her
mother did not believe in her, or her abilities, as a "oman and lo%ing mother( 'er mother
had not, after all, trusted her "ith anything, or any opinion( 1o, ,arbara had learned to
not trust herself, and suppressed all such opinions that she did harbor(
1he began to sink herself, almost imperceptibly, day-by-day, after that( +ne day,
she came to me and asked me "hy ) al"ays seemed to be so full of *oy, and life!, and
enthusiasm no matter ho" tough things got( 1he "anted to kno" ho" ) could al"ays
bounce back in the face of ad%ersity(
) had ne%er thought about that before( ) "as hard pressed to e#plain my
personality!( C%entually it da"ned on me that ) had al"ays felt lo%ed by my mother(
5y mother had al"ays solicited my opinion from as early as ) can remember( nd, she
"as al"ays encouraging of my thoughts and opinions, no matter ho" infantile( ) began
to recogni&e the damage her mother had done to her daughter( ) also began to understand
,arbara.s dedicated de%otion to not making that same mistake "ith her o"n daughters(
fter a time, ) started noticing patterns( ,arbara "ould "ear the same old clothes
around the house day-after-day-after-day( 5eals that she prepared, that heretofore "ere a
culinary delight, denigrated to hot dogs and beans day-in-and-day-out( /inally, )
confronted her and asked "hat the problem "as( That.s "hen she asked me to go for a
"alk so "e could be alone( 1he confided in me that she had been seeing psychologists
and psychiatrists for the past t"o years, on the side( 1he apologi&ed that she had spent all
of our life.s sa%ings on them, but announced that they had con%inced her that she needed
to be committed to a mental institution(
gain, ) "as shocked(((and horrified0 That "as nonsense, ) reasoned "ith her( )
reminded her of ho" much she "as lo%ed by me, and the children, and all of our friends(
) reasoned ho" her self-doubts "ere unfounded, told her "hat a "onderful and lo%ing
person she "as, etc(, etc(, etc((((all to no a%ail( 1he "as con%inced she "as a loser!, and
her doctors "ere con%inced she "as mentally ill( There "as nothing ) could say to
unra%el her false self- impression0 )t should also be remembered that ,arbara "as a
trained Nurse, and to nurses, doctors are like gods0 1he had been conditioned to think
that doctors ne%er made a mistake0
The ne#t day she checked herself into a mental hospital at her doctor.s urging(
1he rapidly deteriorated after that( ) didn.t learn, until after she died, that she had
attempted suicide there in the hospital( s ,arbara sank, ) "as beside myself "ith "orry
and confusion about "hat ) could do to help her( ) "ould go to the hospital before "ork,
during lunchtime, and after "ork and stay long past %isiting hours "ere o%er, until they
thre" me out, on a daily basis( Then ) "ould go home and feed my children, late into the
e%ening, and bundle them off to bed( The stress, and the long days, began to take their
toll on me, as "ell( Work began to slide( ) "as neglecting my Na%y >eser%e duties( ).m
sure our preteen children must ha%e been perple#ed as they sa" the family unit dissol%ing
before their eyes( They "ere fearful, and "anted to kno" "here their mother "as( )
e#plained, as best ) could(
Then, my ne" boss at "ork started making increasing demands on me, stretching
out my already KK hours of "ork re-uired time per "eek( ) pleaded for understanding
saying that ) couldn.t spend more time at "ork because ) had to take care of my family
"hich "as going through %ery hard times( +f course, my employer kne" all about my
"ife.s incarceration in the mental hospital( ,ut, they "ere unmo%ed( That.s "hy ) came
to hate The Taubman 7ompany, "hich "as a challenge later on "hen $od came into my
life(
During a session "ith her doctors, they said that maybe a change of scenery might
help( 7ould ) take a %acation9 +f course0 ) had accumulated si# "eeks of %acation time
o%er the pre%ious three years( ) asked ,arbara "here she "anted to go9 @ondon9
6hoeni#9 1he protested that "e couldn.t afford that( ,ut, to my mind, ) "ould ha%e
spent anything to get my "ife back( 1he finally settled on an in-1tate resort area -- the
Wisconsin Dells(
5y company "as not sympathetic( They said ) "as too %aluable!, and so they
denied my %acation re-uest( ) told my boss, @ook0 5y family comes first( /ire me if
you "ant, but ).m taking my "ife on %acation( The doctors recommend it, and ).m doing
it0! nd, "ith that, ) stormed out( ) arranged for my mother to take our children, and )
packed my "ife into the car, and off "e "ent for si# "eeks of sunshine and laughter( We
"eren.t gone t"o days "hen my boss tracked me do"n( 'e threatened that if ) didn.t
return immediately, ) "ouldn.t ha%e a *ob to come back to0 )t.s okay,! my "ife said,
).m not en*oying this trip any"ay( @et.s go back(!
) "a%ered( The mental hospital "as costing P20,000 a month, and "ithout my *ob and
my employer.s insurance co%erage, "e "ould *ust sink into obli%ion( gainst my better
*udgment, ) ca%ed in and "e returned( 1he "ent back into the hospital(
Ne#t, it "as the Na%y.s turn to take a bite out of me( 5y 7ommanding +fficer
said ) "as getting behind in my "ork, and ordered me to de%ote more off-drill time to
Na%y pro*ects( We "ound up in a shouting match, "hereupon ) ripped my @ieutenant
7ommander boards off my shoulders and thre" them at him shouting, ) -uit0!(((and
stormed out(
8ou can.t -uit0! he shouted back at me as ) "as lea%ing( ).ll ha%e you 7ourt
5artialed0!
) broke out in a rash all o%er my body( The itching "as furious, and constant( )
made oatmeal and spread it all o%er my naked body, and lay on my bed "aiting for the
intense itching to stop, and gi%e me some relief( ) "ent to a dermatologist( 'e said that
"hat ) had "as caused by stress, and that ) had burned off! the protecti%e layer under
my skin, and ) "ould most likely suffer from this skin condition for the rest of my life(
'e ga%e me some cream to alle%iate the itching(
C%entually, the hospital.s psychiatrists ordered me to enter therapy! to help my
"ife( ) "as desperate( ) "as ready to do anything that "ould help her( t the first
session, a doctor took me into his pri%ate office, and e#plained that ) had to be mentally
ill, too0 ) "as shocked( There.s nothing the matter "ith me,! ) protested( ,ut he
continued to press his case( 'e blamed me for my "ife.s instabilityB he blamed merican
societyB he blamed e%erything and e%eryone she had e%er come in contact "ith, except
her parents(
'e said that she "ould probably ha%e to be incarcerated for the rest of her natural
life, that they had no hope for her reco%ery( 'e said that she "as a high suicide risk, and
they "ould ha%e to keep her under close super%ision(
'e continued to "ork on me to con%ince me that ) "as mentally unstable and
summed up that ), too, had to be incarcerated( ) began to belie%e him( fter all, he "as a
doctor, and a professional in these matters( >ight there, in his office, ) began to fall apart(
) became con%inced that he "as right0 ,ut, my children,! ) pleaded "ith him, What is
to become of my children, if both parents are confined9!
The 1tate "ill take them and place them in foster care, of course,! he said %ery
matter-of-factly(
That "as finally the last stra" that broke me( ) had a sensation of my brain
breaking in t"o( ) fell apart( 5y life, as ) kne" it, "as o%er( ) crumpled off the chair and
fell to the floor( 'elp me, please,! ) begged( 6lease tell me this is not happening(! 'e
looked disdainfully do"n from his superior position in his chair, and told me to go home,
pack a toothbrush, and report back for incarceration in the morning(
) cra"led out of his office on my hands and knees, too beaten do"n to be able to
stand( ) cra"led that "ay do"n the corridor of the hospital and do"n the side"alk to the
parking lot, gasping furti%ely for air the "hole "ay, not reali&ing ) "as hyper%entilating(
) reached up and pulled the door handle of my car open and cra"led inside( ) turned on
the engine and turned the air conditioner on at full blast, and put my mouth o%er the %ent
in a %ain effort to catch my breath and get some air in me so ) could calm do"n enough to
dri%e( That seemed to "ork, and ) dro%e home ba"ling like a baby all the "ay o%er the
fate of my poor children "ho "ere about to be parentless(
When ) got home, ) cra"led into bed, still sobbing( ) "racked my brain o%er ho"
my beautiful little family could ha%e come to such a sorry pass( ) "as blaming myself( )
had no blame, per se, so my brain started in%enting blame(
) lay there in bed "ith my brain going back o%er the e%ents of my life trying to
find some hope4some "ay out of the nightmare "e "ere finding oursel%es in( ) "as
looking to see if there "as any truth to "hat the doctors "ere saying about all of this
misery being my fault(
s ) re%ie"ed the e%ents of my life, ) sa" myself as a cheat!4as a failure!(
6roof9 Why, ) hadn.t e%en graduated high school( That embarrassment haunted me my
"hole life( ,ut, ) argued "ith myself, ) graduated college "ith honors0 ,ut then, my
brain found the falsity in that( ) had taken tests and passed courses in college "ithout
reading all of the re-uired material( 1o, ) "as a cheat! after all0
,ut, but4!, ) argued "ith myself, ) became an +fficer and a leader in the Na%y
>eser%e0! +h, yeah,! my darker side argued( ,ut you.re on your "ay to a 7ourt
5artial no", aren.t you, @+1C>90!
) couldn.t "in this battle "ith myself( ) looked o%er e%ery ma*or e%ent in my life,
and sa" fla"s e%ery"here ) looked( 5y lo%ely "ife had broken our engagement se%eral
times before ) "as able to con%ince her to marry me( 5ore proof of "hat a fast-talking
slime ) "as(
,ut, ) argued further "ith myself, looking for any redeeming feature in my
"orthless life, ) had made t"o bright, beautiful children0 ,ut, my lo"er thoughts sa"
through that, as "ell( )t "as my "ife "ho had birthed them, and raised them so "ell( )
"as al"ays at "ork( 'o" much of a contribution had ) actually made to their li%es90
C%ery"here ) looked, ) sa" fla"s( /la"s in my character( )f there "eren.t any, )
made them up, and felt sorry for myself(
) kept going o%er and o%er my life.s e%ents in my mind seeing errors e%ery inch
along the "ay( )t "as like looking at a mo%ie strip of my life o%er and o%er again( /aster
and faster the strip repeated itself( /inally, it started forming into a circle of
condemnation( The circle began spinning o%er and o%er again as ) %ie"ed my life.s
e%ents, ba"ling like a baby the entire time( 5y pillo" became soaked "ith tears of self-
pity( ) "as con%inced that my life A our li%es A "ere o%er4that ) "ould ha%e to check
myself into the mental institution in the morning4and the 1tate "ould take my children
off to an orphanage(
) ga%e up, and prayed to fall into mind-numbing sleep( When ) a"oke the ne#t
morning, my first thought "as a fer%ent prayer that this had all been a nightmare, and that
the "orld "as right again( ,ut, ) immediately reali&ed it "asn.t( 5y bed "as soaked( )
reali&ed ) must ha%ing been crying all night long in my sleep(
gain, my mind raced o%er the e%ents of my life, seeing failure at e%ery one of
them( gain the memories and thoughts spun in a circle of condemnation o%er and o%er
again(
,ut then, ) became a"are A reluctantly at first A of a seemingly little tear in the
film strip( pinpoint of light "as trying to get my attention out of the corner of my eye(
t first, ) refused to ackno"ledge it, nor look at it( ,ut, as the e%ents continued to spin, )
couldn.t keep ignoring the little pinpoint of light( /inally, ) turned my head physically to
look s-uare at it, and "hen ) did, the room burst into light4and ) sa" an e%ent in my life
that ) had been o%erlooking(
S*;:NG G8*CE
The e%ent "as a magnificent one( )t "as an e%ent so pure, so perfect, that ) could
find no fault in my actions in it0 ) remembered it o%er and o%er again searching for a
fla"( Trying to find some "ay to distort it into something ugly, like ) had "ith all of the
other e%ents of my life( ,ut, ) couldn.t find anything "rong "ith it0
t the time ) "as employed as a shopping center marketing manager( )t "as my
*ob to run entertainments in the mall and ad%ertise them to dra" customers into the mall
to shop( ) "orked hard to be the best marketing manager in the mall business in the
nation, and had come close to achie%ing that goal(
,ut, ) considered my first 7hristmas 1eason to be a bust( >etailers do E0Q of
their annual business during the si# "eeks of the 7hristmas shopping season( )f they
don.t make their 7hristmas, they don.t make their year( )f they don.t make their year in
any gi%en year, it can dri%e them out of business( The pressure "as on, but ) "as up to it0
) held a 1anta 7laus 6arade, my first year in the business, that only dre" in 2,000
people( ) considered that a failure( ) "ent to my boss and offered to resign( 1he laughed
and said that 2,000 people "as a good turnout( ) argued that the Do"nto"n 6arade
al"ays dre" about 20,000 people, so ) must be a failure( 1he said that it "as impossible
for a mall to dra" 20,000 people(
) told her to keep my letter of resignation on file, and if ) didn.t bring in at least
20,000 the follo"ing 7hristmas, ) "ould lea%e my *ob %oluntarily(
The follo"ing 7hristmas ) con%inced our ,oard of Directors to take a chance and
%ote me -uadruple my normal 7hristmas decorations budget to allo" me to spend
P100,000( ) promised them they "ould see a commensurate return on their in%estment,
"hich meant ) "as promising them an additional P1 million in e#tra sales(
) bought a decorations package from The ,ecker 7ompany out of 5aryland, a
mall decorations supplier, called Walt Disney.s 5agic Lingdom of 7hristmas! that
included a G-story 7inderella 7astle, J0 animated figurines, a 1e%en D"arfs Diamond
5ine tableau, a $epetto.s 7ottage complete "ith life-si&ed automatons of $epetto,
6inocchio, ?iminy 7ricket, /igaro, and 7leo and the ,lue /airy( Then ) "ent o%er-budget
and spent P1,000 to ha%e a 6rince 7harming costume made, and another P1,000 to ha%e
7inderella.s dress made, and hired t"o opera singers to "ear the costumes and stroll
through the mall singing When you wish upon a Star! and Someday my Prince Will
Come!(
) also arranged for a fire"orks display to be set off o%er the mall A a full half-hour
of nothing but $rand /inale for ten times the normal cost of an )ndependence Day
display(
) hired the %ery best 1anta 7laus in the entertainment industry nationally A one
"ho had his o"n real 1anta beard and "as a professional singer0 nd, ) contracted "ith
Disney.s coloring book publisher to create a full-si&ed coloring book for 1anta to gi%e
a"ay free to his little %isitors(
)t turned out that the hardest part "as getting an instrumental %ersion of those
Disney songs as backup for the opera singers, but ) con%inced a music museum to make a
tape recording of the only e#isting, but out of print, %ersions(
) tried to get eight real reindeer to pull 1anta.s sleigh through the mall for the
parade, but the "eek before the e%ent, some poacher had slipped into their pen in
5ichigan and had killed all of the reindeer "ith arro"s(
) "as able to arrange for 5ickey 5ouse, 5innie 5ouse, Donald Duck, $oofy and
6luto characters from Disney"orld to put in an appearance in my opening night parade(
There( ) had it( The perfect 7hristmas promotional e%ent( ,ut, no matter ho"
"ell an e%ent "as put together, if no one kne" about it, it "ould flop(
1o, ne#t ) put together a pre%iously unheard of ad%ertising campaign for the mall
industry( ) spent an additional PJ0,000 A triple the normal budget A putting together an
ad%ertising campaign to run tele%ision commercials throughout the entire 1tate of
Wisconsin, as "ell as full-page full-color ne"spaper ads, and a bunch of radio spots(
No", in the mall industry, ) learned that A once "e launched an ad campaign,
"e.d get a fe" phone calls from people in-uiring about the entertainment( C%ery phone
call represented about 2,000 people "ho "ould sho" up for the e%ent( 1o, "e "ould get
about 1, 2 or G calls for a ma*or e%ent( When "e got 22 phone calls for the 5agic
Lingdom of 7hristmas, ) called the local 6olice Department and 1heriff.s Department
and "arned them that "e "ere e#pecting more than E0,000 customers to turn out for our
1anta rri%al e%ent( +ne of those calls "as from an oil millionaire in Te#as asking ho"
his kids, "hom he "as going to fly up to Wisconsin in his pri%ate *et and hire a limousine
for, could find the mall from the airport( ) kne" then that "e had a "inner on our hands(
The cops scoffed and muttered something about ho" 6> guys e#aggerate(
The night of the e%ent, 1J0,000 people descended on the shopping center( The
mall could only hold about E0,000 people comfortably( J0,000 crammed into the mall
and created a disaster( 6eople "ere *ammed nose to back( When the malls "ere filled,
people crushed into the stores for standing room knocking o%er displays and trampling
merchandise under foot( They stood in the fountain in the center court "ith "ater up to
their ankles and their kids balanced on their shoulders( They turned off the escalators and
hung from the rails(
,ut, that still left about 100,000 outside unable to get in( When the traffic
*ammed up on the streets 10 miles in all directions and J miles on the free"ay, people
abandoned their cars on la"ns or in the street and "alked to the mall( Worse, for me,
there "as no room for my 1anta 6arade "ith all of the Disney characters to mo%e through
the malls( We snaked the celebrities through the back deli%ery corridors and burst out
into the center court pushing our "ay through the cro"ds(
That night "as a total disaster( C%erybody "as either disappointed or angry( The
stores did no business that night ha%ing had to close their store gates to keep the cro"ds
out( The 6olice "ho had failed to call out their reser%es until it "as too late "ere "orried
about a riot( The customers "ho had dri%en o%er 100 miles and couldn.t get in "ere
li%id( ) had to take out a full page ad%ertisement in The 5il"aukee ?ournal apologi&ing
to the general public for their disappointment(
Not only had ) set an industry record for the turnout, ) called Disney 6roductions
and got permission to keep 5ickey 5ouse for the balance of the 7hristmas season to
assuage those customers "ho could then come back and see "hat they had missed
opening night(
,ut, the bottom line "as, our 5agic Lingdom of 7hristmas brought in an
additional PE0 million in sales that season A a GKQ increase o%er the pre%ious seasons.
a%erage(
S*N:T/<
ll of a sudden, things started to fall into place( The "orld A 58 "orld A started
to turn itself right-side up again( Wait a minute0! ) thought( ) graduated from high
school0 5aybe it "as only a $CD, but it "as a graduation nonetheless0 nd, ) did
graduate college cum laude on my own efforts0 nd, ) am an +fficer in the Na%y
>eser%e, and a damned good one at that0!
This is all crap0 There.s nothing "rong "ith me0 ) don.t ha%e to listen to those
loser mind-bending doctors0 They certainly aren.t of any help to me, or my "ife0 1cre"
them0 ).m not committing myself0 ).%e got a family to raise0 4nd, a "ife to rescue
from that funny farm000! ) decided to fight back(
) leapt from the bed and rushed to the telephone( ) called the doctor "ho had so
de%astated me the night before( ).m not coming in this morning0! ) announced( ) don.t
need you or your so-called help0 Take your nut-farm and stuff it0 ).%e got a family to
raise0!
+h, no, 5r( Tucker,! he moaned, you.re mentally ill and you need our care,! he
soothed(
) reali&ed that all ) had done "as doubt myself and lose my confidence( +nce )
started belie%ing in myself again, and stopped feeling sorry for myself, ) came back to
being me( ) slammed the phone do"n on him0
) ne%er looked back after that( ) *ust assumed, as ) had before ) bought into all of
the psychiatrists. mumbo-*umbo, that "hate%er happened ) could figure things out pretty
"ell for myself( :nfortunately, my "ife, "ho had been trained as a >egistered Nurse to
put full and absolute faith in doctors, couldn.t accept that her psychiatrists could be
"rong, re*ected any sense of self-confidence, and continued to belie%e that her doctors
"ere right "hen they told her that she "as incurably mentally ill(

No", ) reali&ed "hat they had sub*ected my "ife to0 ) had to get her out of there0
,ut, only she could sign herself out0 ) called her, and spoke confidentially to her on the
phone( )t took a long time, but ) con%inced her to at least sign herself out for a "eekend
%isit at home( t last, a ray of light "as cutting through our nightmare(
When ) picked her up, she "as catatonic( 1he mo%ed like a &ombie, staring
straight ahead and not responding to anything anybody said to her( ) took her home and
laid her do"n on our bed( 1he stared at the ceiling "ithout any %isible signs of life( 1he
"ouldn.t respond to anything ) said( Desperate, ) "racked my brain for "hat ) could
possibly say to get through to her( Then it da"ned on me( ) could pray for her, out loud(
) felt a bit like a fraud, being an atheist, but ) kne" she belie%ed, so ) thought that might
get through to her( ) knelt do"n beside the bed, folded my hands and prayed out loud( )
stayed there praying %ocally for si# hours "ithout result( ll of a sudden, she sat bolt
upright0
,ill0 ).m back0! she e#claimed( ) could hear you praying as if you "ere a
million miles a"ay( ) didn.t feel like ) "as in my o"n body( Thank $od you stuck "ith
it0 8ou got me back(!
@ife the rest of that "eekend "as almost a semblance of normality( 1he cooked,
she cleaned, she e%en sang "hile doing it( ) sat her do"n, and tried to e#plain that there
"as nothing "rong "ith her( That she had *ust lost her confidence, and the doctors
"eren.t helping her get it back( ,ut, she "as still con%inced that she "as mentally ill,
and nothing ) said could dissuade her( fter all, she reasoned, the doctors had told her
she "as sick, and doctors are ne%er "rong( ) talked and talked and talked( ,ut ) couldn.t
reach! her( t least, ) made her promise that she "ould not return to the mental
institution, but "ould stay at home, and if she felt medical help "as still called for, she
could go as an out-patient, but with me alon0
5onday morning, ) "ent to "ork( 1he called me, before noon, to tell me that her
psychiatrist had called her at home "ondering "here she "as, and had con%inced her to
return to the hospital(((that.s "here she "as calling me from0 ) "as de%astated( 'o" in
the "orld "as ) going to "rench her a"ay from their grip90
ll "eek long, ) "as a ner%ous "reck( C%ery once in a "hile, sitting at my office
desk or in a meeting, or "here%er, my body "ould start to shake, uncontrollably( )f ) "as
in a staff meeting, ) e#cused myself, and rushed to a phone, and called my "ife at the
hospital, con%inced that she "as slipping do"n"ard, and a"ay( 1ure enough, she.d be in
the doldrums( ) "ould talk soothingly to her, and slo"ly, but surely, build her confidence
back up( ) didn.t hang up until ) "as sure she "as okay(((for the moment( 1ometimes, )
"ould be sitting at my desk, and think about her until ) "orked myself up into a fren&y(
).d "orry myself into a state, and call her( ,ut, she.d be okay( Then, the ne#t time my
body started to shake, ).d call, and she "ould be do"n again( nd, again, ).d talk her
back up(
The ne#t "eekend, ) "as able to con%ince her to sign herself out on a "eekend
pass, again( The pre%ious "eekend, she and ) had agreed that maybe, if she had a *ob
outside the home, that might take her mind off her self <falsely-based self-pity, ) meant=(
) had lined up a *ob inter%ie" for her for the follo"ing 5onday morning( 1unday night, )
got her to agree, again, to not return to the hospital( ) left for "ork the ne#t morning(
t about 2 o.clock in the afternoon, as ) sat "riting at my desk, an une#plainable
force slammed me on the left side from the direction of the nearest "all( moment later
) found myself 12 feet a"ay across the room lying on the floor, looking back up at my
desk, and "ondering *ust "hat the hell had hit me90 )t hadn.t hurt( No one else "as in
the room( Da&ed, the first thought that shot across my mind "as, ,arbara.s dead0
+hmygod, my "ife *ust died0! ) felt like ) had been torn in t"o( No(((no(((that couldn.t
be,! ) thought( ).m *ust scaring myself again(!
) got up off the floor, and returned to my desk, and the task at hand( 1e%eral hours
later, my eldest daughter called me at "ork( Where.s 5om9! she asked(
)sn.t she there9! ) stammered(

No(((but the meat is out of the free&er, tha"ing on the kitchen counter(! she
reported(
Well, she.s got to be there some"here,! ) reasoned( @ook around the house(!
) ha%e, Dad( 1he.s no"here to be found,! she replied(
Well, *ust "ait( 1he probably had to run to the store for something(! ) said(
Then it hit me like a thunderbolt0 What am ) saying90 ) must be an idiot( )f something
terrible did happen to her, ) can.t let my daughter find her body0! ) dialed my brother-in-
la" "ho li%ed only a mile a"ay( ) "as 1F miles a"ay, and "as in charge of a t"o-le%el
enclosed mall shopping center( ) "as the manager-on-duty that night( ) couldn.t lea%e(
Dick, rush o%er to my house,! ) told my brother-in-la", and look for ,arbara0!
Why9! he asked(
) don.t kno", but ).m "orried about her( 6lease, rush o%er and see if she needs
any help0! ) ordered, and hung up( What am ) doing9! ) asked myself, This is my "ife0
1cre" the shopping center, the *ob, all of it( ) ha%e to be there for my "ife0!
) picked up the radio phone and called 5all 1ecurity( 8ou.re in charge, ).%e
gotta. lea%e right no"0! ) *umped in my car, put my pedal to the floor, and sped home
running red lights, stop signs, s"er%ing around traffic( 6anicky, ) "as dri%ing like a
madman(
The ambulance, "ith her lifeless body, "as pulling a"ay from the front of my
house as ) pulled up( ) fell to pieces( 5y life ended at that moment, ne%er to be the same
again( Torn by anguish and "racked "ith guilt, de%astated at the final loss of e%erything
) lo%ed, ) came close to fainting( ) railed against $od, country, the cops, the 7oroner,
anybody, and e%erybody, "ithin earshot( The pain of the loss "as indescribable(
5y lo%ely, s"eet "ife "as dead( )t is not important to this story to detail the
anguish "e all suffered o%er the ensuing "eeks( ,ut, suffice it to say, that time stood
still(((and the future held no promise( )t "asn.t until much later, that ) disco%ered that she
had, indeed, died at 2 in the afternoon(((and on the si#th month anni%ersary of her
mother.s death( )t "asn.t until much later, that ) found a ;black., blank %erse poem she
had "ritten, e#pressing her utter despair at ha%ing to li%e "ithout her mother(((and not
being able to(
E,er.thing end&
/amily and friends rushed to be at our side, and help us through the funeral( ll
of the other +fficers of my Na%y >eser%e unit sho"ed up, unannounced, in full dress
uniform, to be the pallbearers(
nd, then, all of a sudden, they "ere all gone( nd, "e "ere left alone( ) asked
my mother to mo%e in "ith us, and stay for a"hile to help hold e%erything together( 1he
did, as she "as "orried about my emotional state( 1he organi&ed the household( 1he
made meals for us( 1he tried to cheer! us up, but there "as no room in any of our hearts
for any of that0 C%entually, "hen ) con%inced her that "e "ere stable!, she returned to
her home(
) "ent back to "ork( 5y boss had the audacity to come into my office and
flippantly say, Well, that.s behind you no"( Time to get on "ith your life0! ) lost it( )
shouted, 8ou, bastard0 8ou and this stinking company helped kill my "ife by not letting
me take the %acation ) had coming, and no" you "ant to make light of it90!
8ou.re fired,! he said, 7lear out your desk( 8ou.%e got 1J minutes to %acate
your office(! and "ith that, he turned his back on me, and left(
) "ent home( That "eek, ) recei%ed a letter from my, no"-former, employer.s
health insurer( Dear 5r( Tucker,! it read, We are sorry to inform you that your former
health policy only co%ers physical ailments, not mental, so "e "ill not be able to pay the
PK0,000 mental hospital bill( This is no" your responsibility( 6lease pay it promptly to
a%oid any further discomforts(!
) called my bank to see about getting a loan against my home to pay the debt(
They informed me that they "ere sorry, but it seemed my "ife had mortgaged the home
to the hilt( 1he had said something, they reported, about needing the money for
psychiatrists( +h, and by the "ay, you are months behind in your ne" house
repayments,! and they "anted to kno" "hen they could ha%e their money(
) "as stunned into a malaise( 5y "ife "as gone( 5y career "as gone( 5y
health "as gone <still itching=( The Na%y "as gone( 5y money "as gone( nd, no",
my children and my home "ere about to be gone( 5y friends and family had returned to
their daily concerns( ) called a fe" friends to see if ) could garner any help from them( )
"as shocked at the reception ) got( )t seemed that no" that ) "as a ;single man., they felt
threatened that ) might come after their "i%es, so ) "as no longer "elcome(((and they
hung up on me0 :nbelie%able0 ) "as dying inside, missing my "ife more than "ords
can describe, and friendly doors "ere slamming shut(
) called the county "elfare department( ) need some money to sa%e my home
and my kids( 5y "ife *ust died, and ).m out of "ork, and in debt up to my ears,! )
reported(
Do you o"n a car, and furniture, and any other assets9! they asked(

+f course,! ) replied(
Well, sell them off, use the money you get to li%e on, and, "hen that.s all gone,
"e.ll gi%e you PE00 a month,! the ice-cold lady said on the other end of the phone(
'ey0 Wait a minute0 ).%e been paying ta#es all of my life0 )t.s time the
go%ernment paid me something back, in my hour of need0! ) argued(
).m sorry, "e only help those "ho are destitute(((and since you ha%e assets((((!
she trailed off(
,ut(((but(((the "hole idea is to sa%e my house, and my kids0! ) implored(
+h, you don.t ha%e to "orry about your children,! she replied, 1ince you can.t
pro%ide a decent home, the 1tate "ill take them from you, as an unfit father, and place
them in foster care( They "ill be "ell taken care of,! "as her ans"er to my problem(
That "as the last stra"( ) couldn.t hold it together anymore( C%erything ) had
built o%er a lifetime "as gone, or about to be gone( ) "as crushed( >uined( Defeated(
) sat do"n on my sofa, and stared out the "indo"( There "as nothing to do no",
but "ait for them! to come and take e%erything a"ay from me(
,ut, damn, ) "as mad0 The race "as o%er, and ) had lost e%erything( nd, ) "as
angry as hell about it0 )t *ust "asn.t fair0 We had gone from a happy, successful little
family to utter destruction, in a matter of months( ) needed somebody to blame( ) turned
the e%ents o%er in my mind, and ) hated my employer for trashing my family "hen )
needed my *ob the most( ) hated their health insurance company "hich had notified me
that my family health policy did not co%er mental illness -- after-the-fact( ,ut, my former
company seemed too puny to hold all of the hate ) felt inside(
1o, ) turned my attention to my 7ommanding +fficer, and the Na%y( )t "as their
fault, ) reasoned, for not backing me in my times of tribulation( ,ut, no, they "ere too
puny, too(
The psychiatrists0 Those "ere the bastards that caused all of this to happen0 ,ut,
e%en collecti%ely, they "ere all too puny to absorb the anger, and the hate, that seethed
"ithin me(
M!0 )t "as M! "ho had let my "ife do"n, ) finally reali&ed( )t must be my fault,
) thought( ,ut, ) couldn.t eat that lie, either( ) kne" ho" much ) lo%ed and adored her,
and ho" hard ) tried to help( There "as no one to blame(
(uge &houlder&
) sat there, trying to think of "hat ) could do ne#t( ) honestly did not "ant to go
on li%ing( ) ached to cra"l into a gra%e ne#t to my "ife, and be "ith her in the
hereafter(((e#cept the ma*or problem "ith that "as, ) didn.t belie%e in life after death( )
"as an theist(
The only solution that seemed like a semblance of a plan "as to kill myself(
Then, at least, my children "ould inherit my life insurance, ) rationali&ed, and ) "ould be
out of my pain, and out of this stinking life( <Depressed people ne%er consider the
negati%e impact such an action "ill ha%e on their lo%ed ones remaining behind=(
8et still, the anger seethed "ithin me( ) needed to %ent( ) had to get it out of me,
or ) "ould burst( ) looked up at the ceiling( ) kne" Who had shoulders big enough to
dump my hate on(
8ou ,astard0! ) shouted out loud at my ceiling( ) don.t kno" if 8ou are up
there, but if 8ou are, ).m telling 8ou that you are a poor e#cuse for a ;god.0 )f 8ou "ere
mad at me for being an atheist, then "hy didn.t you kill me90! ) demanded of the ceiling(
Why kill the one person "ho trusted 8ou and lo%ed 8ou so much90 Why hurt our
children by depri%ing them of their mother, "ho, thanks to their mother, also belie%e in
8ou0 8ou are a filthy, stinking, rotten s(o(b(0 8ou ,astard((("#$ %&''!( M" W&F!0!
and ) broke do"n, sobbing, a crumpled mess(
The ceiling said nothing(
) stared out the "indo"(
That.s it,! ) thought to myself( The only solution to all of my problems is that )
ha%e to die0! ) looked back up at my ceiling(
Well, 8ou piece of crap, $od, 8ou(((8ou miserable, stinking s(o(b( ).m not
sticking around to feel this pain for the ne#t E0 years0 ).m outa. here0 1cre" 8ou, and all
8our faith crap0 ).m taking my life, and then ).ll be dead(((no afterlife( ?ust out of this
pain and agony( ) can.t bear it any longer0 ).m going to star%e myself to death, and there
is )#*+&)G 8ou can do about it0 8ou can.t stop me, because ) am more po"erful than
8ou, 8ou phony e#cuse for a ;god.0 ll lo%ing, &)(!!(0 $o to hell, 8ourself0! ) "as
really gi%ing it to my ceiling( ) "as %enting like mad(
The ceiling "as silent(
Chapter "
The !or#ula for Getting $ira%le&
$ira%le&...
) continued to rant and ra%e "ith my plan( ) "ill not eat for the ne#t G "eeks0! )
announced, out loud, to my ceiling( Then ) "ill die of star%ation( The kids can eat at
friends. homes( They.re hardly home anymore, any"ay( This is certainly not a fun place
to be( This is "here their mother died, 8ou bastard0 ,esides, ) don.t ha%e any food in the
house, and no money to buy any "ith0 'ere0 ).ll tell 8ou "hat0 ).ll sho" 8ou *ust ho"
puny 8ou are0 ) don.t care if 8ou deli%er supper to my front door e%ery day for the ne#t G
"eeks0 ).m N+T eating0 ) don.t care if supper sho"s up on my doorstep at J o.clock
e%ery day( ) don.t eat( ) die( The game is o%er( ).m finally done "ith 8our hole of a
stinking "orld0!
) hesitated for a moment( Why did ) *ust say J o.clock, ) "ondered9 fter all, "e
didn.t eat until K200pm, ordinarily( +h, "ell, "hat difference did it make9 ) shrugged it
off(
The kids came home from school( 5y plan "as in place( ) "ould allo" myself to
ha%e all of the coffee "ith cream and sugar in it, and all of the cigarettes ) "anted, to ease
the star%ation pains, but, food "as out of the -uestion0
!ree !ood 22 The !ir&t $ira%le
t J o.clock that day, the doorbell rang( )t "as pril, "ho li%ed kitty-corner
across the street( 1he "as holding a pot( What do you "ant, pril9! ) snapped(
Well, ) feel so badly about ,arbara and all((("ell((().%e made supper for you and
the girls,! she said e#tending the pot(
)f you "ant to feed the kids,! ) ans"ered her, they.re in the other room, but ).m
not eating(! pril came in, and fed the girls, "ashed her pot and the dishes, and left(
) sat on the sofa all the ne#t day, staring out the "indo"(((feeling sorry for
myself((( "aiting to die(
t J o.clock that second day, my doorbell rang( ) ans"ered it to a stranger ) had
ne%er seen before(
'ello, 5r( Tucker,! she smiled( 8ou don.t kno" me, and ) don.t kno" you, but
) used to attend 7hurch "ith your lo%ely "ife, and ) feel so badly about your tragedy, that
) "anted to do something for you(((so, ).%e made supper, for you and your children(! nd,
she held out a pot of food(
Well, the kids are in the other room, but ).m not eating(! 1he came in and fed
the girls, "ashed her pot and the dishes, and left(
The ne#t day, at the stroke of J200 pm, my doorbell rang again( No", there "as
another "oman ) didn.t kno" standing on my stoop holding a pot0
re you 5r( Tucker9! she asked( 8ou don.t kno" me, and ) don.t kno" you,
but, ) li%e t"o blocks o%er, and ) felt so badly "hen ) heard about your tragedy, that )
"anted to do something nice for you, and your children(((so ).%e made supper for you(!
1he thrust a pot of food at me(
)f you "ant to feed the kids, they.re in the other room, but ).m not eating,! )
said( 1he came in, fed the girls, "ashed her pot and the dishes, and left(
The fourth day, the doorbell rang, again, at J200 pm( ) ans"ered it, and it "as still
another "oman ) didn.t kno"( 1he had the same message(((and so did )(
Do you go to our 7hurch9! ) asked, bitterly thinking that maybe there "as a
conspiracy! of sorts being played out in the neighborhood(
+h, no, ) go to the 7atholic 7hurch o%er on @oomis,! she said( ) didn.t kno"
any 7atholics in the neighborhood, so ) took her at her "ord(
The same thing happened again and again, the fifth day, the si#th day, the se%enth
day, etc(, etc(, etc( During all of these %isits, by different strangers e%ery day, for the ne#t
t"o "eeks, all at J o.clock, and all carrying food(((none of this registered! "ith me( )
didn.t think anything of it( ?ust some do-gooders! butting in, "as my self-pitying
attitude( ) spent my days *ust sitting on my sofa staring out the "indo", "aiting to die of
star%ation(
,y the 1Hth day in a ro" of these %isits, ) "as perple#ed( ) "as no"here near
dying( ) had only lost about 2J pounds, and actually "as starting to look trim( )
pondered *ust ho" long it "ould take to die of star%ation( Then, slo"ly, the light started
to come on in my head( What was this90 What "as going on, ) "ondered9 Why "ere
these "omen sho"ing up on my doorstep "ith food9 Was there a conspiracy operating
behind my back, after all90
,ut,! ) thought, Wait a minute0 &,m the one "ho said, ;supper at my door at J
o.clock.0 Nobody else heard me say that to my ceiling0 1ay, "ait a minute( )t couldn.t
be(((could it9 Na", no" ).m losing my mind( ?ust a coincidence0!
The silence, and the unans"ered -uestions in my mind, hung hea%y( /inally, )
looked up at the ceiling, and said out loud, What is this90 )s this some sort of ;miracle
demonstration.90 couple of free meals, and 8ou call *+A* a miracle90 $o to hell0
Leep 8our damn food0 @isten0 8ou "ant to get M! back9 $et ,arbara out of the
ground0 >aise her from the dead, like you did @a&arus and ?esus, and that little girl, and
so many others reported in the ,ible0 *+!) 8ou get me back0 *+!) ).ll belie%e in
miracles0 )n the meantime, ).m not eating((() die((() "in by escaping from this hellhole
8ou call a ;"orld.(((and "#$ lose0 ,ecause((()(((am(((more((( po"erful(((than(((8ou0!
The ceiling didn.t respond, of course(
+n the 1Dth day, ) peeked out my li%ing room drapes at J minutes before J
o.clock( 1ure enough, there "as some little old lady toddling do"n the street to"ard my
house carrying a pot0 ) "atched my "rist"atch( +ne minute to go, as she passed the
house ne#t door( ,ing-bong, "ent the doorbell at the %ery stroke of J200 pm on my
"atch0 ) ans"ered the door, and "e e#changed the same "ords that had happened e%ery
day for the past, almost, G "eeks( 1he came in, fed the girls, "ashed the dishes, and left(
) sat and "atched in ama&ement(
The 20th day ) didn.t e%en bother to look out the "indo"( ) stood by the front
door at one minute to J200 pm staring at my "atch, and "ondering if it "as fast or slo",
and pondering "hy the doorbell al"ays rang "hen my "atch read J o.clock9 t fi%e
seconds before the stroke of J, ) pulled the door open, and sa" another stranger step up
on the stoop, and reach for the bell0
fter she left, ) sat on the sofa and thought long, deep and hard about the e%ents
of the past "eeks( This goes "ay beyond coincidence,! ) thought( ,ut(((it can.t be a
;miracle.,! ) reasoned( There ha%en.t been any ;miracles. for t"o thousand years0 'a%e
there9 ) must be losing my mind( That.s it0 ).m o%er the edge( ).m delirious from lack
of food(! ) couldn.t shake the feeling that ) "as li%ing in some sort of a T"ilight Rone!(
) need ans"ers, ) thought to myself( ) rushed around the house looking for our medical
dictionary( When ) found it, ) looked up 1tar%ation!( )t said that the human body could
go "ithout food for t"o months0 ,ut, a person could die from dehydration in three
"eeks( ) flashed back on all of the pots of coffee ) had been drinking, and laced "ith
sugar and milk -- glucose -- the substance of life0
What an idiot ).%e been,! ) thought to myself( +kay, this nonsense has gone on
long enough0 ) looked back up at my ceiling, and said, +kay(((if 8ou.re up there, listen
up0 ) "as "rong( ) can.t die in three "eeks from star%ation( -ut, ) can and surely will
die, if ) don.t eat for three months0 1o, that.s the ne" plan0 ).m not eating for the ne#t
three months "hether 8ou deli%er food to my doorstep at J o.clock, or not0 Then, surely
) "ill die, and 8ou "ill lose, and ) "ill be out of my pain and agony, so ) "ill finally
win0! ) felt like cackling hysterically, but thought that a bit o%er-dramatic, so ) didn.t(
The ne#t day, a 1aturday, and the 21st day since my G-"eek ordeal had begun, the
doorbell rang at J o.clock( ) pulled the door open, and stared at the man standing there
dressed all in "hite -- "hite shirt, "hite "ork pants, and sporting a little black bo"tie( )
looked past him to his "hite panel truck parked at the curb( )t had a black bo"tie logo
painted on it, and under it, it read, >on.s 7atering!(
'i( ).m >on of >on.s 7atering,! he announced( ll of your former employees
and friends at the shopping center feel %ery badly about your loss( They "anted to do
something nice for you, so they took up a collection and raised PJ,000( They didn.t "ant
to *ust gi%e you the money( They thought that "ould be too crass( 1o, they.%e hired me
to bring you and your children supper e%ery day for the ne#t three months( )s J o.clock
okay9!
) stood there fro&en(((dumbfounded( +ow in the "orld could this -!90 This is
*ust too surrealistic0 ) can.t be hearing "hat ) am hearing0 &,M the one "ho said to my
ceiling ;three months.0 &,M the one "ho said ;J o.clock.0 nd then it struck me( )
couldn.t "in this contest of "ills( No matter "hat ) said or did, the food "as going to
keep on coming0 ) burst out laughing( ) laughed hysterically, "ith tears streaming do"n
my face( ) opened the door "ider, and "ith a bo"ing, s"eeping motion of my arm, bade
my %isitor in( 'e set a sil%er tray do"n on the table and announced, Don.t bother to
"ash our dishes( We take them back dirty, and sterili&e them in our kitchens(! nd, "ith
that, he left(
) looked back up at the ceiling, and said, +kay( 8ou "in( ).ll eat(! ) called the
girls, and "e shared a meal together for the first time in "eeks(
The ne#t morning, "ith, no", rene"ed %igor, ) plopped do"n on my sofa to stare
out the "indo", and think about "hat "as ne#t( ) "as still in total ruin( ) o"ed the
mental institution PK0,000, and "as being dunned for payment -- an amount ) figured )
couldn.t sa%e in three lifetimes if ) had a *ob0 ) still had no *ob, and no money( The
house "as on its "ay out from under me, and the kids "ere about to be taken from me
any day no"( nd, ) "as e#pecting to be ordered to 7ourt 5artial by the Na%y, any day(
nd, damn, that itching "as continuing unabated, although the dermatologist.s cream
helped relie%e the intensity of it(
) thought and ) thought( ny "ay ) thought about it, there seemed to be no
solution at hand( 5y life "as still to be the "retched e#perience the pain of losing my
"onderful, beautiful "ife had made it(
Then a selfish thought crossed my mind( ) looked up at the ceiling(((that
"onderful, silent ceiling, and said, +kay, ,ig $uy( 8ou made this mess ) am in, and
8ou dug this pit for me, and 8ou are making me stay ali%e, so "ou fi# it0 6ut PK0,000 in
my mailbo# o%er the ne#t G0 days0 )f 8ou can deli%er three months and three "eeks of
free food to my doorstep, a measly PK0,000 should be easy for 8ou0! ) demanded(
!ree $one. 22 The Se%ond $ira%le
The ne#t day, "hen ) "ent to my mailbo#, ) found one en%elope in it( )n the
en%elope "as a check for PJ00( 1eems it "as a rebate, of some sort, for something "e
had purchased, some time in the past, that ) had no recollection of( ) accepted that
un-uestioningly(
The ne#t day there "as, again, one en%elope in my mailbo#( )n it "as a check
from an old ir /orce buddy for P2,000( The enclosed letter read, Dear ,ill, 'ere is the
P1,000 you loaned me 20 years ago, "ith another P1,000 for interest( Thanks a lot0! )
had forgotten all about that loan(
The ne#t day, again, one en%elope( This time it "as a letter from the )nternal
>e%enue 1er%ice( )t seems ) had made a mistake on my ta#es 10 years before and had
overpaid my ta#es0 Cnclosed "as a check for PJ,0000 The first thought that fle"
through my mind "as, ) thought the )>1 only "ent back F years0
C%ery day after that, there "as al"ays one en%elope in my mailbo#( 1tranger
still, there "as ne%er any *unk mail, and, no bills in my mailbo#0 nd, e%ery en%elope
had some money in it( 1mall amounts, large amounts(((for e#ample, ) "on! a radio
station contest ) don.t remember entering(
,y the 2Dth day, ) had collected P1J,000 from my mailbo#0 :nbelie%able0
/reaky0 :nheard of0 'o" could this possibly be90 ,ut, if ) "as certain of nothing else,
there "asn.t a shado" of a doubt in my mind that ) "ould ha%e the "hole PK0,000 by the
ne#t day, the last day of the month ) had gi%en $od to deli%er the money(
+n the G0th day, ) "ent to my mailbo#, and dre" out the one en%elope that "as in
there( )t "as thin(((too thin, ) thought, to hold PEJ,000( ) opened it, and found a letter,
and a check( The check "as for PEJ,0000 The letter "as from my former employer.s
health insurer( )t read in part, Dear 5r( Tucker, )n re%ie"ing your medical claim for
your "ife.s recent illness, "e note that some mental illness are caused by a chemical
imbalance in the brain( chemical imbalance could be interpreted as a physical, not
strictly mental, condition( )nasmuch as your "ife has passed on, and a determination of
the cause cannot no" be made, "e ha%e decided to err on the side of a chemical
imbalance physical cause( Cnclosed, please find our check for FJQ of your "ife.s
hospital bill( We hope that this has not incon%enienced you in any "ay(!
) "as stunned(((but, and here.s the important part(((not surprised0 ) fully expected
to find that check in my mailbo#, although ) had no idea from "here it "ould come(
Chapter '
(ow to Get $ira%le&
=*laddin>& $agi% 5a#p?
,reathing room0 ) took the entire amount and paid off the mental institution0
No",! ) said, being on familiar terms "ith my ceiling by no", We(((er, "#$ ha%e to do
something to finish sa%ing the house( ) need some operating cash to make the loan
payments ,arbara borro"ed against the house(! Then, & put it out of my mind <one of the
most significant things ) ha%e e%er done in my life=, as ) returned to my familiar place on
the sofa, and stared out the "indo" again, to contemplate this strange turn of e%ents(
The ne#t day, ) recei%ed another en%elope in my mailbo#( This time it "as from
my former employer( )n it "as a form letter telling me that ) had accumulated PJ0,000 in
my fully %ested retirement fund, and, since ) "as no longer an employee, a check for that
amount "as enclosed0
) "as li%ing in a non-real dream "orld( C%erything had turned to crap( nd, no",
*ust for the asking, e%erything "as turning around for me( The kids "ere safe0 The
house "as safe0 ) could get on "ith my life( ) could actually feel myself healing
emotionally from the loss of my "ife, as ) started to make plans, and be a father to my
precious children again(
5y Na%y 7ommanding +fficer called to apologi&e, and to tell me that he had not
acted on my ;insubordination., and that ) "as "elcome back( ) started going to my
monthly drill meetings again(
5y body started to heal( The rash subsided o%er D0Q of my body( ) ga%e e-ual
credit to $od, and to the lo"er stress le%els ) "as e#periencing( ,ut, ) really kne" "here
the credit belonged( ) prayed e%ery day for the rash to go a"ay 100Q, and permanently(
,ut, it.s interesting the form my ;prayers. took( ) didn.t ask $od for healing every day(
That seemed ;unnatural. to me( fter all, if you ask once, isn.t that enough9 ) reasoned
that if you ask a second time, isn.t that indicating that you didn.t belie%e it "ould happen
the first time you asked9 Then, maybe there "ouldn.t be any sincerity the second time,
either( No, the "ay ) ;prayed. "as to *ust say, Thank you for healing me, /ather0! )
didn.t e%en bother to look for signs of the healing( Why should )9 )f ) itched, ) applied
the doctor.s cream, and assumed that $od "ould "ork 'is miracle in 'is o"n time( )t
took about G years for the rash to completely disappear(
) spent the ne#t year applying for *obs, only to be turned do"n regularly( )t
became apparent to me that anyone o%er E0 "as going to ha%e a tough time finding "ork(
Then ) tried a couple of entrepreneurial efforts that all failed( ) had set up a college fund
for each of my children and had been li%ing off the balance of my retirement money( )t
"as %irtually all gone ( ) "as no" back on my sofa staring out the "indo", "ondering
"hat my ne#t mo%e should be(
Wh. #e@
s ) sat on the sofa and contemplated this strange turn of e%ents, ) thought to
myself, Why me90 5e, of all people( ) hadn.t been a ;believer.( There are plenty of
people trucking on do"n to their local 7hurch e%ery 1unday asking for miracles, and not
getting them( Why should ) be singled out9 Those people ;deserve. a miracle, for the
demonstration of their faithfulness((( not me0 ) "as a ;heathen.0 Why "ould $od ha%e
deigned to ans"er my ;prayers.9! nd, ) "ondered "hat "as ne#t, in this strange series
of e%ents happening to me, not because of me(
The -uestion plagued me( ) had to ha%e an ans"er( ) rushed through the house
looking for my "ife.s ,ible( 5aybe the ans"er "as in there0 ) found it, and, being out
of "ork, decided that ) "ould read it, co%er-to-co%er, until ) found an ans"er to my
-uestion( ) had opened the ,ook a fe" times in my childhood, but -uickly put it do"n
again, as ) found the language too hard to follo"( When, as a young adult, ) "as looking
into %arious religions, the ,ible turned me off, because there "as so much ;*udgmental.
stuff about $od killing some people in ans"er to other people.s prayers, that it *ust didn.t
seem right to me(
,ut, no", ) "as on a mission( ) read the ,ible all the "ay through, +ld Testament
and Ne", "ithout finding "hat ) "as looking for( ) read all day long, day after day(
What ) did disco%er "as that it "asn.t that hard to understand, after all( ) determined to
re-read it again(
+n the second reading, ) still didn.t find "hat ) "as looking for( ,ut, ) learned
something else( ) learned that the ,ible "as a %ery simple document to understand( 1o
simple, in fact, that a child could follo" it(((if they made the effort( ) disco%ered that it
"as so simple that all of the ,ooks of the ,ible seemed to boil do"n to one message(
nd, ama&ingly, the message "as al"ays the same -- ,elie%e in $od0
,ut, ) still needed an ans"er to my -uestion -- Why me90 1o, ) determined to
read it once again( This time ) found "hat ) "as looking for0 There, in black and "hite,
in 5ark 11222-2J "as a formula! for getting a miracle(((any miracle(((*ust for the asking(
) reali&ed instantly "hy many people didn.t get their miracle re-uests( They "ere only
doing the first part of a three-part formula!( s ) reflected on my recent e#periences, )
reali&ed "ith ama&ement that ) had inad%ertently done all three0 $od had no choice0
ccording to this passage in the ,ible, "hen one follo"s the instructions, implicitly, $od
promises that $od "ill grant the re-uest0
)t "as ob%ious to me, a non-belie%er, that if one faithfully applied the formula!,
one could not fail to be granted his "ish because God Promised, and, so, if it didn.t
happen, only one of t"o things could possibly be true( Cither there "as no $od, or $od.s
a liar( 1ince neither are true, $od has to come through0 Siola0 laddin.s 5agic @amp0
The alchemist0 The magic eli#ir0 The pot of gold at the end of the rainbo"0 ll "ere
mine0 ) "as a -eliever(((again0
) pondered the bent blade of grass re-uest, and the re-uest for the drops of rain to
fall from a blue sky( ) "as thunderstruck0 ) had not believed, in ad%ance0 nd that "as
the operati%e part of the ;formula.( ) "as looking for $od to gi%e me proof that $od
e#isted0 ,ut, the .rule/ is, /aith F&0S*, *+!) proof0! )f merely asking for $od to
pro%e $od.s 1elf "ere enough, e%erybody "ould be a ,elie%er!, and then faith and
belief "ouldn.t be necessary0 ) didn.t understand at the time "hy $od had set up such a
system( )t "asn.t until decades later, "hen ) read 'is thought behind the "hole
composition of life and the "orld, in Neale Donald Walsch.s trilogy of books,
Conversations With God!, that ) came to understand this most sublime, subtle and
lo%ing construct( ll the ,ible tells us, is to ,elie%e in $od! o%er and o%er again(
pparently, "e don.t( Crgo, the reason for the admonition(
Why me9 ,ecause, "hen ) "as talking to my ceiling <) en%isioned that ) "as
speaking directly to $od, of course=, ) "as gi%ing $od e#actly "hat $od re-uired --
belief in $od!( +ne doesn.t really talk, sincerely, to someone "ho isn.t there( nd, )
"as very sincere in my protestations0
1o, *ust "hat is this magic formula! for getting miracles, you might ask9 )t.s
%ery simple, and yet, the hardest thing for mankind to do -- trust in the impossible(((the
une#plainable, in advance(
$ar+ 11A2222'
Muoting The 'oly ,ible, Ling ?ames Sersion translated from the original tongues being
the %ersion set forth in (D(, 1K11, compared "ith the most ancient authorities,
>e%ised 1tandard Sersion
nd ?esus ans"ered them, 'a%e faith in $od( Truly, ) say to you, "hoe%er says to this
mountain, ;,e taken up and cast into the sea., and does not doubt in his heart, but
belie%es that "hat he says "ill come to pass, it "ill be done for him( Therefore, ) tell
you, "hate%er you ask in prayer, belie%e that you recei%e it, and you "ill( nd, "hene%er
you stand praying, forgi%e, if you ha%e anything against anyoneB so that your /ather also,
"ho is in hea%en, may forgi%e you your trespasses(!
The =!or#ula?
1( 1tand and ask $od for anything you "ant in prayerB
2( ,elie%e, &) A(1A)C! that it.s A'0!A(" doneB
G( nd, forgi%e, in your heart, anyone you are *udging!0
) disco%ered that it takes all three parts to ha%e $od "ork 'is miracle for us( ll
belie%ers! seem to do 1tep 1( ,ut, if "e stop there, "e "ill fail to get our miracle( nd
then, likely "e "ill blame $od for ha%ing failed us, rather than the other "ay around0
1tep G, it seems to me, isn.t strictly re2uired( )n the -uoted passage abo%e, all that
is re-uired, is to ask $od for "hat you "ant and truly belie%e to the core of your heart, in
ad%ance, that it "ill happen, and the promise is, it "ill be done unto you( 5oreo%er, in
1tep G, $od ne%er *udges any of 'is children, and $od certainly doesn.t find any of them
"anting( 'o" could $od9 $od created this "hole "orldly concept, didn.t $od9 1o
ho" could $od possibly hold us accountable for "hat $od made90
?esus, as one religion.s e#ample, says o%er, and o%er, and o%er again, ?udge not,
lest ye be *udged!( ) interpret that as a t"o-part thought2 <1= Don.t *udge others0(((and
<2= )f you do *udge others, $od may *udge you, and find you as "anting as the person you
are *udging( )n another passage, 7hrist says something to the effect that(((+nly $od and )
may *udge, and We do not(((so "hy do you90! 1o, the second part of that admonition to
?udge not, lest ye be *udged! seems to me to be *ust a scare tactic( )t.s designed to get
our focus on the first part and see ho" useless it is, and that *udging others ser%es no
great purpose( )n fact, "hen "e do, aren.t "e acting un-$odly!, since $od doesn.t
*udge us9
5any people at this point in my logic may fall back to citing e#amples of "hen it
is necessary to kill -- "ar, capital punishment, etc( ,ut, if "e ask oursel%es((("hat is the
purpose of, for e#ample, capital punishment!9 When "e, as a society, put a murderer to
death, "hat are "e saying9 Lilling is "rong, so you can.t kill(((but we, the good!
people, can9 Do "e not rationali&e killing!, and assign %alue to the type! of killing,
and "ho can, or cannot, do it9 re "e not playing $od! "ith other people.s li%es, but
don.t "ant other people playing $od! in ours9
nd, *ust why is it important to take the life of another9 To teach them a lesson9
To ser%e as an e#ample! for other "ould-be murderers9 Do either of these "ork!9
'as killing murderers stopped murders from happening on planet earth9 'a%e they e%er9
5aybe it.s for %engeance!(((to make us feel good about paying them back!9 Does our
killing another fello" human being actually make us feel better!9 ) read some"here
that all e#pectant mothers "ho %oluntarily abort their babies go through tremendous guilt
and anguish after"ard(
)f you are one of those "ho "ould defend killing a killer, it seems to me that t"o
things must be %ery, %ery true( /irst is the basic attitude is that life is precious!(
Therefore, do "e sanctify life and do e%erything "e can to keep life going *ust as long as
possible9 )f so, "hy9 )s this a race that can be "on9 7onsider the soldier "ho sur%i%es
through four years of "ar, only to step off the plane that brings him home, and is
immediately killed by a drunk dri%er( 'o" can "e possibly keep anyone ali%e for a
moment beyond their intended death date set by $od9 nd, if "e can, for ho" much
longer9 )f life could be e#tended forever, there might be a case to be made here( ,ut,
inasmuch as all people die e%entually, ) reasoned to myself, isn.t it more producti%e to
spend our time on the -uality of life! instead of the -uantity! "hile "e are %isiting here
on the planet9
nd, the second thing that occurred to me is, "hen "e *udge others, "e are on the
outside of $od.s desire( )f that.s "here "e are, ho" can $od possibly re"ard! us "ith
anything like a miracle9 ) guess, each of us must choose( We must choose "hether "e
"ant to be on the right hand of $od! getting our needs! met, and ha%ing miracles
happen in our li%es, or not( )f *ealousy and *udgments, and re%enge and retribution and
anger and hate are all more important to us than li%ing in lo%e "ith our fello" man, then
that is ho" "e are free to li%e( That is the definition of /ree Will!( ll ) kno" is, if $od
had offered me the apple in paradise, ).d like to think that ).d ha%e taken a pass( s it is,
$od didn.t, and according to earthly religions, ) am tainted as a sinner from birth because
someone else did( That.s a fairy tale ), personally, can.t subscribe to( fter all, my $od is
an All 'ovin $od( $od "ouldn.t ha%e *udged them and found them "anting, and $od
doesn.t *udge me(
1tep G isn.t easy, but it.s do-able if "e put our heart and mind to it( 'ere.s "hat )
do2
) rise abo%e the issue of the moment, and consider the source( ) ha%e come to reali&e that
all mankind "ere made by $od, and are 'is children, and all are lo%ing beings trying to
get along in this "orld all alone, and are fearful( /earful of failure( /earful of making a
mistake( /earful of being hurt, physically, or emotionally( )n fact, *ust fearful of
anything and e%erything( When ) step back and focus on the fact that e%erybody is *ust
trying to do their best, it.s easy to forgi%e them, regardless of ho" stupid, or mean, they
act(
1peaking of fear!(((*ust listen to "hat people are saying( 1omeone might read
this book, and say, ).m afraid ) can.t belie%e "hat he is saying!( nd that statement is as
true as it could possibly be( They A0! afraid( They are afraid! to belie%e it(((or they
A0! afraid that it is not true( nd, they are telling us this "ith their %ery "ords( Cither
"ay, the operati%e part of that statement seems to me to be, they are afraid!(((fearful!(
ll mankind seems to be afraid( nd, "hat are they afraid of, really9 ) think the big one
is death!( ,ut, e%en more importantly, it seems to me that they are afraid that maybe
$od does not e#ist, and "e are here all alone( 'o" sad for them( 'o" sad for us( 'o"
sad it "as for me0
,ut, in 1tep 2( ,elie%ing in ad%ance!, ) found it nearly impossible to do, or
unbelie%ably easy( )ronically, ) disco%ered -uite by accident! <as if that "ere possible=
if one has faith in $od, it is harder than if you do not belie%e you ha%e faith( @et me
e#plain((((
Chapter )
Getting $ira%le& for the *&+ing and Belie,ing
!ree $ira%le&
,ut first, back to the story of my accidental! disco%ery of ho" miracles happen(
<That presumes that "e think that anything could possibly be accidental!=(
1o, no" ) had e#perienced miracles, and ) kne" the formula!( What to do "ith
this beneficence9 Why(((rub the magic lamp!, of course( ) "as still out of "ork0 )
needed a *ob( ,ut, no", ) reali&ed that ) could ha%e any *ob that my heart desired(((*ust
for the sking(((and the ,elie%ing(
!orgi,ene&&
,ut, first, ) had some unfinished business to attend to( ) had to get on the right
side of $od!( ) had a lot of forgi%ing! to do( )t "asn.t easy( /irst, ) tackled the easy
ones( ) thought long and hard about my Na%y >eser%e 7ommanding +fficer, and about
the Na%y, both of "hom, ) felt, "ere insensiti%e to my family plight, and thereby
contributed, to some degree, to my "ife.s untimely death(
)t "as fairly simple to forgi%e the institution! of the Na%y( fter all, institutions
are made up of people, but collecti%ely, those people "ere not e%en a"are of my "ife.s
plight( s for my 7ommanding +fficer, it "as easy to forgi%e him, as "ell, because of an
incident that happened *ust a couple of days after the funeral(
Those "ere the "orst days of my life( The pain of the loss of my "onderful, kind,
sensiti%e and lo%ing "ife "as unbearable( ) felt a great "eight crushing in on my chest
making it hard to breath( The stress o%erload of it made me drop off to sleep in the
middle of a sentence, and then ) "ould a"ake moments later, only to find the pain still
"ith me( ) "asn.t thinking clearly, nor rationally( ) "as chain-smoking cigarettes, and
eating little(
5y 7ommanding +fficer, %ery sympathetic no" o%er the ultimate turn of e%ents,
and maybe feeling a little guilty, called me up one night and said, ,ill, ) can appreciate
"hat you are going through( couple of years ago, my "ife left me, and took my kids
"ith her( That "as bad enough( ,ut then, the ne#t "eek, my parents "ere both killed in
a car accident caused by a drunk dri%er( 5y $randparents, on one side, upon hearing the
ne"s of their son.s death, both died of a heart attack, simultaneously( 5y other
$randmother, upon hearing the ne"s, also had a heart attack and died, and her husband,
my other $randfather, not "anting to li%e "ithout his "ife, took his o"n life( 1o, in the
space of a month, ) "ent from ha%ing a large, e#tended, happy, and lo%ing family, to
being totally alone in the "orld0 )t "as a crushing blo"( +ne that ) could not ha%e
sur%i%ed had it not been for a friend of mine "ho called me up, and made me promise the
follo"ing, that ) am going to make you promise to me(
+ne night, some night not too long from no", you "ill a"ake at G200 am( 8ou
"ill light up a cigarette, and you "ill sit in the dark re-e#periencing the pain of your loss(
8ou "ill cry( 8ou "ill ponder the "orth of continuing on( 8ou "ill decide to end it all,
and you "ill "alk into the kitchen, take out a car%ing knife, and slit your "rists( When
that night comes, ) "ant you to promise me that you "ill first, before taking the knife out
of the kitchen dra"er, call me at that precise moment0!
) protested, 6hil0 ).m all right0! <e%en though ) "as already planning my o"n
suicide=( ,esides, ).m not calling your house at G in the morning0 8ou.%e got a little
baby there, and ).m not going to bother you "ith any such foolishness, and "ake your
baby0! ) lied through my teeth( There,! ) thought, ).%e put that out of my "ay( No"
).m free to kill myself(! 'e hung up then(
bout a "eek later, ) did a"ake at about G200am( ) stumbled through the dark
into the li%ing room, and lit a cigarette( ) sat there in the dark, re-e#periencing the pain of
the loss of my "ife, and focusing on the fact that ) did not "ant to li%e "ithout her( )
cried( ) decided, then and there, that ) "ould not go on li%ing( ) "alked into the kitchen,
and opened the knife dra"er( ) stared at the car%ing knife, breathed a hea%y sigh, and
picked it up( ?ust then, the phone, in the kitchen, rang( ) glanced up at the clock( G200
am0 Who can be calling me at G in the morning0! ) thought to myself, some"hat
perturbed at the apparent rudeness(
) ans"ered the phone( )t "as 6hil, my 7ommanding +fficer( 6hil0 What are
you doing calling me at G am0! ) demanded(
5ore to the point,! 6hil said, What are you doing up at Gam90!
Nothing,! "as my "eak reply(
,ill, put the knife back in the dra"er0! 'e demanded(
) stammered like a kid caught "ith his hand in the cookie *ar, Lnife(((er((("hat
knife9!
@ook, ,ill,! he continued, 8ou.re not the first person to go through this( We all
need a little help from our friends(((and from $od(((at a moment like this( 6lease put the
knife back(!
) did as he instructed( Then ) asked, 'o" did you kno" that this "as the night
that ) "ould be here at the kitchen dra"er9!
) didn.t,! "as his calm reply( ).%e been setting my alarm clock for G am e%ery
night, getting up, and calling you( )f you didn.t ans"er by the Grd ring, then ) kne" that
"asn.t the night( ) "as determined to call e%ery night until you ans"ered0 No", go back
to bed(((and ne%er lie to me again0!
) "as humbled by his lo%ing kindness( 6hil(((you.%e sa%ed my life,! ) said(
?ust passing the miracle on, my friend, as it "as done unto me(! and "ith that,
6hil hung up(
+f course, at that point hadn.t gotten the free food yet, so ) dismissed his
reference to a ;miracle.(
/orgi%ing 6hil "as easy after that( ,ut, there "as still my former boss and
employer to contend "ith in my mind( Thinking long and hard about them, ) came to the
reali&ation that they didn.t ha%e a crystal ball, and couldn.t foresee the future any
differently than ) could( ) guess "e all "ould ha%e acted differently, had "e had our "its
about us( ) decided to consider the source(
The psychiatrists "ere the most difficult to forgi%e( $enuinely forgi%e( )t didn.t
come easy( ) looked into the sub*ect, and disco%ered, through research, that psychiatrists
lose a "hopping 2J Q of their mental patients to suicide0 7on%ersely, surgeons only lose
about 2Q of their patients on the operating table( ) bitterly reflected that ) "asn.t
surprised( lack of /aith-based! psychiatric help "as ob%iously no help at all0 ,ut, )
didn.t let go easily(
) %isited a la"yer "ith the intent of suing for "rongful death!( ) "anted those
bastards to pay for killing my "ife, by them robbing her of her self-confidence, as they
almost did me0 <,eing human, ) didn.t see this as a 3udment, at the time=(
The la"yer ga%e me a dose of reality( 8ou can sue them, if you "ant to plunk
do"n a PG0,000 retainer,! he said( ,ut, the most you can "in is PJ0,000, according to
1tate la"( 8ou see, the psychiatrist.s association lobbied the 1tate 1enate, and got that
protection for their members( 5oreo%er, you can.t "in, because you.d ha%e to find t"o
psychiatrists to testify against your "ife.s doctors, and that *ust isn.t going to happen(
They all protect each other(!
Defeated, ) had no other choice but to look into my heart and find a "ay to
forgi%e them( >eally forgi%e them0 fter all, $od "ould kno" if ) "as *ust gi%ing $od
lip-ser%ice( ) finally decided that my ne"-found relationship "ith $od "as far too
important to let those *erks come bet"een us( ) thought long and hard about them, and, )
finally forga%e them in my heart by pitying them for their ignorance( ) determined that,
at some point in my life, ) "ould help them to understand the errors they "ere making in
trying to help people by stealing their patients. sense of self-"orth(
When one comes to reali&e that there is a $od, and that $od lo%es us more than
"e can e%er kno", and that $od takes care of us as "e belie%e in $od and 'is po"er to
do so, "e ha%e nothing to fear( :ltimately, "e come to reali&e that nothing matters(
Nothing, sa%e our faith in $od( With that appreciation, ho" could anyone e%er lose their
belief in themsel%es9 s $od lo%es me((() lo%e me(
Ti#e to #o,e on
That done, it "as no" time to turn my attention to getting a *ob( ) sat back do"n
on the sofa, and stared out the "indo", once again( This time, ho"e%er, ) "as searching
my soul for "hat ) "anted to do( ) had al"ays "anted to be an entrepreneur, so, that "as
the first order of business( ,ut, "hat business9 Well, ) had a lifelong lo%e of ad%ertising,
and publishing( 1o, that "as to be it0 ,ut, that "ould take money( 1erious money0 'o"
much9 PJ0,0009 P100,0009 +%er a year had passed since my last miracle, and ) "as
broke again(
) said, out loud, in the direction of my ceiling, $od, please deli%er to me one
million dollars, free and clear, in the ne#t 1E days to start my o"n entrepreneurial
business( ) "ant to be the 6resident of an ad%ertising and3or publishing company0!
There0 That "as it0 )t "as D+NC0 nd, more importantly, ) kne" in the %ery
heart of my soul that it "as a done deal(((already0 & then put it out of my mind( fter all,
the re-uest "as in, and the deed "as as good as done( )n fact, it WAS done0
n hour later, the doorbell rang( <re you getting chills9 ) did(= )t "as a friend
of mine, "ho had also been let go, a fe" months before me, from the same employer( 'e
said that if ) didn.t ha%e a *ob, he.d like me to consider going into business "ith him( )
asked "hat it "as( 'e reached into his briefcase and pulled out a maga&ine mock-up(
)t.s an ad%ertising maga&ine,! he said, and ).d like us to publish it(!
$reat0! ) responded( @et.s do it0!
'e said that he "ould like me to be 6resident, because "e had "orked together in
the past, and e%en though he had once been my boss, he felt that ) had more e#perience in
this field of "ork( ) protested, but he "as insistent( 1o, ) accepted( ) smiled at the charm
of ho" all of this fell into my lap( There "as only one thing left, and ) had gi%en $od 1E
days to do it(
+kay, boss,! he laughed, What.s our first order of business9!
) told him to go out and rent an office, order furniture, get a phone, ad%ertise for
employees, hire a la" firm, and hire an accountancy firm( 'e "anted to kno" "hat ) "as
going to do9 Why,! ) replied, get the money to pay for it all, of course(!
'e asked ho" "e "ere going to able to get a big time la" firm, and accountancy
firm "ithout cash up front( ) told him to offer them a seat on our ,oard of Directors(((for
no pay, of course, and offer them a modicum of stock(
"eek later, he "as back( @et.s go( $et in the car( ).%e got something to sho"
you,! he said( 'e dro%e me do"nto"n, and "e "alked into our ne" offices, humming
"ith acti%ity( 5en "ere carrying our ne" office furniture into the spaces, the phone
company "as hooking up the phones( 'e introduced me to our ne" secretary, and to
some salesmen being inter%ie"ed( We plopped do"n behind our big, ne" desks, and put
our feet up on the desktops(
>uss said, Well, ) got one of the best kno"n la" firms in to"n( They sho"ed me
right into the managing partner.s office( ) told him "e "anted to engage his la" firm for
si# months, but that "e didn.t ha%e any money( 'is eyes *ust bugged out, and he asked
me "hy he should gi%e us si# months of free legal ser%ice9 ) told him that "e "ere
offering him a seat on our ,oard, *ust like you told me to( 'e almost fell off his chair
laughing0 When he stopped, he said, ;8ou.%e got a lot of chut&pah0. and then he accepted
my offer0 8ou "on.t belie%e "hat happened ne#t0!
+f course, ) "ill,! ) replied(
Well, ) told him "e also needed an accountancy firm, on the same arrangement(
7ould he refer me to one9 This time he did laugh until he fell off his chair0 Then he
picked up the phone, and called the managing director of one of the ,ig H ccountancy
firms( 'e told them, ;) *ust ga%e a"ay si# months of your ser%ices0. and then he laughed
himself silly again0!
$ood *ob0! ) "as impressed, but not surprised0
'o".re you doing on getting the money9! he asked(
) ha%en.t started yet(((but, it.s a done deal0 ).%e still got F days left(!
'o" much are you going to raise9 PJ0,000 is "hat ) figure it.ll take(! he said(
million dollars,! "as my reply(
M&''&#) (#''A0S90 re you cra&y9 Where are you going to get that kind
of money90! he "anted to kno"(
Not to "orry( )t.s all taken care of,! ) said, confidently( ) "as content to *ust
simply sit on my sofa, and "ait for the money to sho" up on my doorstep( fter all, "hy
not9 That.s ho" my miracles had come to me so far(
,ut, >uss couldn.t sit still(
@et.s go out and et the money,! he suggested( ) declined( Well, then, let.s go
sell some ads "hile "e.re "aiting,! he suggested(
+kay, but on one condition,! ) ans"ered( We are not to ask anybody for the
million dollars0 That.s a must0! 'e agreed, and "e started out the door, do"n the main
street do"nto"n, calling on banks, to see if they "anted to take an ad in our real estate
maga&ine for their mortgage loan department(
The first bank "e entered, "e asked to see the president( They sho"ed us directly
into his office "ithout an appointment( ) thought that this "as unprecedented0 The
president of the bank listened intently to my sales ;pitch., and then said that he did not
"ant to take an ad in our maga&ine, because our maga&ine might offend some of our
competitors "hom he did business "ith( ,ut,! he said -uickly, ) "ould like to gi%e you
a gift of money to help you get started( What could you use, PJ0,000(((P100,0009!
>uss stared at me in disbelief( ) asked "hat the strings! "ere9 'e ans"ered that
there "eren.t any( ,ut, ) kne" that he "as hoping that, once established, "e "ould
supply him "ith loan leads garnered by the maga&ine( ) considered myself a
businessman, after all( 'e *ust "asn.t re-uiring it( We agreed, so he asked for a ,usiness
6lan, and a 6roposal for the amount of money "e "anted( We said "e.d bring them back
the ne#t day(((Day 1G of the t"o "eeks ) had gi%en $od to get me the million dollars0
We rushed to publish our ,usiness 6lan and 6roposal, "orking straight through
the night( We had a difficult time kno"ing ho" far "e could push the en%elope on free
money!, but finally decided that P2J0,000 "as a nice round number( Then, ) reasoned,
"e.d only need three more like him, and "e.d be all set0 s "e left our office, ) grabbed
a document off the desk on the spur of the moment(
We "ere sho"n directly into his office( ) handed him the ,usiness 6lan, and he
opened it at random( 'e closed his eyes, and stuck his finger on a page( When he
opened his eyes again, he read the fact! "ritten there, looked up, and said, 6ro%e that
fact0!
Well, "e hadn.t counted on this( We had made up most of the 6lan, as is
commonly done( ,ut, this "as an actual, pro%able fact that he had sei&ed on0 >uss and )
stared blankly at each other( Then a light bulb came on in my head( The paper ) had
grabbed, as ) "as going out the door, was the %ery proof for that particular fact0 ) pulled it
out of my briefcase, and pushed it across the desk to him(
'e read it, and then asked for the 6roposal( 4$A0*!0 #F A M&''&#)
(#''A0S0! he screeched( re you guys cra&y90 ).m not gi%ing a"ay that kind of
money0!
+kay, "e.ll take P100,000,! >uss said(
N+, you won,t,! he cried( )f you need P2J0,000, then ).d *ust be thro"ing my
money a"ay, because you.ll go bankrupt before becoming a success0! nd, "ith that, he
-uickly sho"ed us out the door( ) could tell that >uss "as deflated( ) "asn.t( fter all, )
reasoned, the million dollars "as a done deal( There "as *ust probably some reason "hy
"e "ere to go there first(
Nobody else sho"ed us into their president.s office "ithout an appointment, so
"e returned to our office to strategi&e( We tried calling to get appointments, but
e%erybody turned us do"n( 1o, "e thought that "e "ould need somebody "hom a
banker o"ed a fa%or to, to open the door for us( That re-uired us kno"ing somebody
"ho o"ed us a fa%or, and "hom that influential person had the connection and debt! "e
needed to use( We called friends until "e got one( The person he referred us to "ho
o"ed him a fa%or, put up a fuss, but finally ca%ed in, and got us the 10-minute
appointment "ith a banker that "e asked for( ?ust tell your buddy that my debt is no"
paid back0! he snapped, and hung up in our ear(
We sho"ed up the ne#t day, and "ere sho"n into the e#ecuti%e %ice president.s
office( ) only ga%e you guys this appointment, because ) o"ed a business ac-uaintance a
fa%or,! he began( 'e said you only needed 10 minutes(! Then he took his "rist"atch
off of his arm and laid it do"n on the desk in front of him, and stared intensely at it(
8ou.%e got 10 minutes(((get ready(((get set(((G#0!
) started my sales presentation, but he ne%er took his eyes off his "atch( ) "as
"atching my o"n "atch, and ) stopped talking at D minutes( The silence hung in the
room( /inally, he looked up and said, 8ou.%e still got one minute left((((!
That.s okay,! ) replied, ).m done( Want to buy an ad9!
No((() don.t( ,ut, thanks for stopping by any"ay,! he replied( ) got up to head
for the door( >uss hesitated( +b%iously, he didn.t "ant to gi%e up so soon, but in my
mind, a deal "as a deal, and "e.d had our 10 minutes( ) called to >uss, and the t"o of us
strode confidently out the door of his office((("ithout looking back0 <) had a mental
%ision of, (((shake the dust from your feet and *ust mo%e on(((!=(
?ust before the door clicked shut behind us, ) heard him call out, Wait a minute0!
The door clicked closed( We "ent back in( 'e said he *ust had one -uestion for us( 'e
asked if "e had a ,usiness 6lan9 ) ga%e it to him( 'e then interrogated us for the ne#t G
hours, non-stop( )t "as no" H200pm on the e%ening of the 1Eth day, "ell past the bank.s
closing time( The building "as all dark, e#cept for this office "e "ere in, all the other
people ha%ing gone home(
'e reached in his breast pocket, and pulled out a checkbook( 'e "rote in it, tore
the check off, and slid it across the desk to us( )t "as for P1 million dollars0 ) "ant to
buy stock in your enterprise,! he said matter-of-factly( >uss gaped( ) smiled, a kno"ing
little smile that curled up at the corners of my mouth(
5y hand "as in my pocket( ) "as rubbing my last t"o nickels in the "orld
together, as ) contemplated the check in front of me( 'o" much stock9! ) asked(
H0Q!, "as the reply(
EDQ,! ) responded( We "ant to keep control(!
Not "ith my money, you don.t0! he declared(
When ) pick this check up off the table, it "on.t be your money anymore,! )
countered, laughing( /ortunately, he and >uss laughed, too(
We negotiated, and the negotiations stretched for "eeks, but e%entually "e took
the check, and cashed it, and launched our maga&ine ad%ertising publishing business(
,ut then, ) did the stupidest thing anybody could ha%e e%er done0
'a%ing, by no", supreme confidence in my own business pro"ess, ) looked
hea%en"ard, yet again, and <sigh, hea%en help me= ) said, +kay, $od0 Thanks for the
money0 ) can take it from here0 8ou can take a %acation, or "hate%er( &,ll run the
company0! <)f that doesn.t hit you right bet"een the eyes, it should ha%e( )t didn.t hit
me, until all "as lost=( That act! -- and my only e#cuse is that ) "as ne" to the miracle
concept -- pro%ed to be my fatal mistake(
We opened up a business account at the bank, and deposited the money(
1urprisingly, to me, >uss "ho had been to seminary school during a period "hen he "as
considering becoming a 6riest, ne%er -uestioned me about ho" "e got the million dollars
by the 1Eth day(
There "as a ca%eat attached to our operations, from the negotiations( We had to
launch our business in 1an Diego, 7alifornia( ) made arrangements for the children.s
care, and >uss and ) "ent to 1an Diego, rented office space, and launched out enterprise(
* 5ifeti#e of EBpe%tation
This lesson reminds me of my friend ?oe( ?oe had come from a challenging
childhood( 'e "as pretty much on his o"n from a %ery young age, and in fact, left home
right out of high school, and hit the road as an itinerant musician( 'e had spent the
ma*ority of his life in this manner, and had de%eloped a ;sharp edge.( ?oe is e#tremely
intelligent, "ith a nimble mind( 'e ne%er -uestions his o"n abilities( )f he comes upon a
problem, he *ust assumes he can fi# it, "hether he kno"s anything about the sub*ect, or
not( 'e ne%er, for e#ample, learned anything about cars( ,ut, if his car or truck e%er
broke do"n, and they did fre-uently, he "ould grab a "rench, and cra"l under the car,
and "ouldn.t come out until it "as fi#ed( nd, it "as al"ays fi#ed0 'e assumed, that
since he had taught himself to play the guitar professionally, that he could teach himself
anything( Necessity is the mother of in%ention,! he "ould say( +h yeah, and the father
of frustration( fter all "hat is more frustrating than Need90!
?oe "as good at seeing the ob%ious that escaped e%erybody else( ) got a letter
from him one day, and my eye automatically "ent to the return address to see "here he
"as mailing it from, since he tra%eled so much( Written in the upper left hand corner of
the en%elope "ere the "ords, ?ust deli%er it0!
) laughed till tears came to my eyes( That "as so like ?oe( No patience for
anybody "ho couldn.t keep up( ) kne" "hat he "as thinking( Don.t bother looking up
here for an e#cuse to bring this letter back, 5r( 5ailman(((*ust do your *ob and find ,ill0!
'e "as al"ays anticipating "hat people "ere going to say, because "e are all
such creatures of habit(((and he isn.t( The last thing in the "orld anybody "ould e%er
"ant to do "ould be to challenge ?oe( 'e al"ays topped e%erybody0 nd, his "ords
could cut through you like a knife( Worse than being e#actly right, e%ery time, he "as
"itty at the same time, so not only did you feel the loss of the argument, you felt the fool
besides0
@ater in life, ?oe met $od( )t happened as a miracle "hen "e "ere dri%ing
through the 5o*a%e Desert, one day, from 6hoeni# to 1an Diego( )t "as at a time "hen
he "as frustrated "ith music as his career( 'e "as no" married, and had t"o small
children, and the strain of constantly mo%ing from place to place to play at clubs, and not
being able to be "ith his little family, "as draining on him(
) "as starting my maga&ine business and needed good salesmen, desperately( ?oe
could do anything, so "hen he called me from the road, ) talked him into coming to "ork
for me( 'e "as li%ing in 6hoeni# at the time, and "ould need his car for the *ob, so )
%olunteered to fly into 6hoeni#, and share the long dri%e through the 5o*a%e desert to
1an Diego( +ur plan "as, he "ould come and get settled, and start "ork, then retrie%e
his family from 6hoeni#, so they could all be together, finally(
?oeOs parents "ere di%orced, so their children mo%ed around a lot, as custody
shifted( ,orn a 7atholic, he unfortunately, did not stay in one place long enough to Ogro"
up in the 7hurchO( 'e had learned, at an early age, to fend for himself( 'e had also
learned that if he "anted anything in this life, he had to do it for himself( )n that, "e
"ere soul brothers(
,ut, no", as "e tra%eled through the desert together, ) "as on fire to share my
recent food and million dollar miracles that ) had gotten only "eeks before( Cagerly, )
e#plained ho" ) had found $od, and the miracles in my life $od had *ust "rought( s
"e talked by the hour, the miles sped by, as ?oe put his foot to the floor, and "as running
at about F0 miles an hour, in a JJ mph &one( fter all, the desert "as as flat as flat could
be, and "e "ere lost in con%ersation( We could see for miles in all directions, and there
"eren.t any other cars on the high"ay, for as far as the eye could see(
ll of sudden, a high"ay patrol car came shooting up, out of a hidden "adi
behind us, "ith lights flashing and siren "ailing0 +h, no,! ?oe groaned, ) canOt afford
this0!
What.s the speed limit here,! ) asked him(
JJ(((and ) "as doing F0! he e#plained as he pulled his foot off the gas pedal,
/ifteen o%er is probably criminal speeding(
This is &*0! ) e#claimed e#citedly0 C%ery time ) e#plain $od.s miracles to
someone "ho is interested, $od seems to al"ays step in at that e#act moment and deli%er
one0 'ere.s yours0 8ou are )#* going to get a ticket,! ) declared0
+f course, )Om getting a ticket0 ) "as caught red-handed0 There.s nothing ) can
rationally say that "ill make the cop change his mind0!
) said, ?oe, listen to me( ) kno" "hat ).m talking about( 7lose your eyes, lean
your head back on the headrest, and put all of this out of your mind(((especially your
worry and fatalistic attitude0 Then, *ust say, ;/ather, forgi%e me for anything ) ha%e
against anybody( ) sincerely forgi%e them., and mean it( Then, ask $od to make the
patrolman not gi%e you a ticket( )f you belie%e "hat ) am telling you, and believe that
$od "ill deli%er this miracle to you, $od Will0!
?oe had been listening to my miracle stories for se%eral hours at this point, and
"as clearly impressed by them( 'e looked at me, as if trying to comprehend "hat ) "as
saying( Then, he shrugged his shoulders, and said, What ha%e ) got to lose90 )t.s all )
ha%e left( 5y back is against the "all(! Then he put his head back, and closed his eyes,
and silently made his prayer(
The +fficer came up to the "indo"( Do you kno" ho" fast you "ere going,
young man9! he asked politely(
8es, sir,! ?oe replied, "hen ) heard your siren, ) glanced do"n at my
speedometer, and it read F0 miles an hour(!
That.s right, you "ere 1J o%er the limit, young man,! the +fficer said( @et me
ha%e your license(! ?oe handed it to him( The +fficer "ent back to his patrol car to call
for ;Wants and Warrants.(
'ope this isnOt an indication of ho" the rest of the trip is going to go,! ?oe said(
Did you finish your prayer9! ) asked him(
8es,! "as his reply, N"hat.s ne#t9! ?oe asked(
Then, nothing,! ) responded( 6ut it out of your mind( )t.s a done deal( The
ticket isn.t going to happen(!
,ill, ) "as 1J o%er( 'o" can he o%erlook something like that9! ?oe groaned(
+h, so you think $od can.t o%ercome a little challenge like that9! ) asked( )f it
"as going to be easy, ?oe, it "ouldn.t re-uire a miracle0!
+kay, okay, ) get it,! he said, and he closed his eyes, and put his head back once
again(
Don.t ask again,! ) admonished( )f you "ere sincere the first time, and you
don.t no" doubt, it.s all done( ?ust sit there, and allo" the peaceful feeling of ha%ing
recei%ed a miracle "ash o%er you,! ) cautioned(
The +fficer "alked back up to the dri%er.s side "indo"( Well, ).ll tell you "hat
).m going to do,! he said( 1ince you don.t ha%e a bad dri%ing record, ).m going to gi%e
you a break, and gi%e you another chance0 ).m gi%ing you a "arning ticket( Don.t blo"
this opportunity, or you "ill lose your license for sure(!
) half e#pected ?oe.s *a" to drop open "ith shock, but it didn.t( ?oe, *ust calmly
turned, and looked at me( Thanks for the ;introduction.,! he said smiling(
) leaned o%er to look the Deputy 1heriff in the eye( Do you kno" of any place
here in the desert to get breakfast, +fficer9! ) asked(
1ure do,! he responded( ) "as about to go there myself( ?ust follo" me(!
When "e entered the desert eatery, the place "as empty( They seated us, and the
Deputy 1heriff, at ad*oining tables( We got to chatting, and laughing about some things
"ith him( When "e all got up to go, the Deputy grabbed our checks and said, ,reakfast
is on me!( We *ust stared in disbelief( During the con%ersation, ) felt ?oe "anted to ask
him "hy he had decided to not gi%e him a ticket, but he had the $od-gi%en good sense
not to( ) think he reali&ed that it "asn.t necessary( We both kne" Who had helped out in
?oe.s hour of need(
) think that "as ?oe.s first conscious encounter "ith consciously getting a miracle(
) think, upon reflection, ?oe, like most of us, could think back to some lucky! e%ents in
his life, and see them for the miracles $od regularly deli%ers that they are(
@ife is like that for me( +ne phenomenon ) seem to al"ays e#perience is
"hene%er ) am telling someone about ho" $od.s miracles "ork, 'e al"ays seems to step
in "ith a miracle demonstration right then, as if to add %eracity to my tale(
Ble&&ing& Tou%h *ll 5i,e&
When ?oe came to "ork for me, he struggled mightily "ith trying to learn ho" to
ask the right -uestions in order to sell properly( 'e "as so used to tellin e%erybody,
"hat "as so ob%ious to him, it "as a hard lesson for him to learn( nd, of course, )
couldn.t tell him( ) could only ask a series of easily-ans"ered -uestions that lead to the
self-disco%ery of The 1ocratic 5ethod <see2 ne#t 7hapter for e#planation=( ,ut, once he
made the ;breakthrough., he "as unstoppable( )n %ery short order, he became my top
salesman besting the others by K00Q, and becoming a 100Q ;closer.( C%entually, he
earned the sales manager *ob(
) asked him ho" he "as able to sell e%en the ;toughest. customers(
'e said, ,ill, ) say, out loud, before ) go to the door, ;$od, let.s help these
people( @etOs get this one for both of our sakes0. Then, ) *ust stayed "ith it until they
bought(!
?oe had learned the other secret to life -- When "e endea%or to help others, "e
help oursel%es(
Chapter -
*%tuall. Getting What /ou Belie,e
E,er.thing fall& to ruin...
>ight from the start, both >uss and ) made some serious mistakes in our maga&ine
business( 5istakes that "ere to pro%e fatal do"n the road( Don.t get me "rong( )t "as
-uite thrilling to be, all-of-a-sudden, riding in pri%ate *ets, staying in penthouses, renting
limos, launching a great maga&ine that "as a resounding success, pro%ing its premise( )n
fact, the maga&ine is still in production in 1an Diego, no", 1H years later( Sirtually
o%ernight, ) "ent from broken in spirit and money, to literally flying high0 nd, don.t
think ) didn.t kno" "here the credit belonged(((for e%en an instant(
,ut, no", & "as in charge( ) didn.t ha%e the self-confidence in my salesmanship
skills after so many years a"ay from direct-commission selling( )t had been too many
years since ) had bloodied my knuckles, going door-to-door, as a kid( 1o, ) hired a sales
cre", and one sales manager after another( Cach sales manager "as "orse than the one
before, and sales "ere plummeting( /inally, ) decided that ) had to run the sales cre"
myself( ) took o%er, and sales started to soar( They had gone from an initial P20,000 a
month, do"n"ard all the "ay to &ero by the fourth month( When ) took o%er, ) retrained
my salesmen, and sales *umped to PG0,000 the first month, and e%entually to PD0,000 a
month( ,ut, "e kept losing money0
) "as "orking 1E hour days, se%en days a "eek, but "e kept sinking financially(
5y people "ere doing their %ery best( 1omething "as seriously "rong, some"here, but )
*ust couldn.t figure it out(((all by myself(((and ) was, all by myself0 fter all, $od "as on
%acation( t least, from me( We cut "ay back in operating, and li%ing e#penses, "e
mo%ed out of the hotel, and into a cheap, furnished apartment, but still "e continued to
lose money( The maga&ine "as a resounding success( The ad%ertisers "ere making
money( The customers "ere selling their homes through the maga&ine( ) *ust couldn.t
figure out "hat the problem "as(
+ne day, >uss came to me for our usual pay the bills! meeting( ,y this time, "e
had opened up a second operation in 5il"aukee, Wisconsin, and ) ran the sales
departments and >uss ran the production departments, but "e each managed a city.s
operations( >uss had 5il"aukee, and ) had 1an Diego( +ur procedure for paying bills
"as, >uss "ould o%ersee the bookkeeping, and make out the checks, and sign them(
Then, he "ould bring the bills and the checks to me, for re%ie" and counter-signing,
before they "ere mailed(
The "eek before, "e had recei%ed a blo" to the business( 1ales "ere going
through the roof "ith the introduction of a sales telemarketing force ) "as adding, but "e
had outgro"n our space( )f "e cut back in salesman to fit the office space, sales "ould
drop to unacceptable le%els( We had looked into lea%ing and mo%ing to larger spaces, but
"e had a lease on the current space that "e couldn.t get out of( We considered renting an
additional space a fe" miles a"ay, but splitting the sales cre" in half "as too hard to
"ork out, logistically( We "ere sunk( )t "as "ith hea%y hearts that "e faced the
ine%itable( >uss and ) agoni&ed, and agoni&ed, o%er "hat "e could possibly do to resol%e
the issue, but could think of nothing(
/inally, ) "ent back upstairs!( 6lease, /ather,! ) prayed, 'elp us out of this
problem(!
While ) "as re%ie"ing the bills, and signing the checks that morning, >uss
mentioned in passing that "e had recei%ed a phone call, the day before, from our
@andlord(
What did he "ant9! ) asked, half-heartily(
'e said the company in the spaces ne#t to ours "as mo%ing out to larger spaces
since their lease "as no" up( 'e "anted to ask me if "e.d like to consider taking the
space ne#t door,! he said matter-of-factly(
) "as stunned( (((nd you said, What9!
) told him, no thanks( We can.t afford it,! "as his unthinking response(
) said, W+A*90 >uss0 That.s the solution to our problem0 +ur company is
sa%ed0!
,ill, it.s a separate office0 We need one big open space( This is no solution at
all,! he said(
>uss0 We.ll ask him to knock out the "all in bet"een 0! ) replied(
'e.s not going to do that,! he said( Lnock out a "all90!
) stared at him in disbelief( >uss, do you think that $od "ould ha%e gone to all
the trouble to get on an airplane, and fly all the "ay to 1an Diego, e#pire the lease of the
people riht next doorB then plant the thought in our @andlord.s mind to call and offer it
to us, as the perfect solution to the %ery problem that can cost us our business, and then
not make the @andlord agree to knocking out a little thing like a "all90!
+b%iously, >uss and ) had a different perception about ;getting miracles.(
>uss "ent back to his office to call our @andlord( 'e "as back in a minute( 'e
said ;"!S.0! "as >uss. e#cited reply(
There "as ne%er any doubt in my mind,! ) said( *hat "as an ob%ious ;done
deal.0!
,ut, as clearly as ) could see >uss. mistakes, ) could see none of my o"n( C%en
"ith the e#pansion, and the increasing sales, production costs continued to scale up"ard
as "ell as out- pacing our income( The million dollars "as rapidly disappearing( )t ne%er
once occurred to me to go upstairs! for a business solution0 fter all(((the business "as
my responsibility, "asn.t it90
We had gotten do"n to nearly the end of our money, "hen >uss announced he
"as taking his family on %acation( 'e asked if ) could pick up his production duties( ),
of course, agreed(
) got the idea that maybe "e could ;cheapen. the maga&ine a little, "ithout hurting
sales, by cutting back in the -uality of the paper, and tightening the layout( ) called a
meeting "ith our printer( ) told him "e had to scale "ay back in production costs, and
asked him for suggestions( 'e put his pencil to his figures, and then presented me "ith a
"hole ne" proposal(
+nce again, ) "as shocked( What he "as proposing "as a higher -uality paper
and a more spacious layout, but the price "as F0Q less than "hat "e had been paying
for our "eekly publication0 ) "as incensed0
'o" can you afford to do this for this price90! ) demanded to kno"(
'e looked sheepish, and tried to *ustify the numbers based on our, by no", large
%olume( ) reminded him that "e had been producing at that %olume for nearly a year0
fter some fimbling and fumbling, the truth came out( 'e had been o%ercharging us
from day one( )n fact, both he and our 7alifornia printer had been o%ercharging us0
) demanded a refund( 'e opened his books to me, as did the other printer "hen )
confronted him, as "ell( ,oth made a case that if ) forced the issue and sued them in
7ourt to reco%er the o%erpayments, they.d go bankrupt( )t "ould ser%e them right(! )
thought(((but, then, ) kne" that $od did not "ant me e#acting any retribution on them(
?udge not, lest ye be *udged! sprang to mind( nd, ) forga%e them(
+f course, the costs dropped dramatically immediately, but it "as too little, too
late( When >uss got back from %acation, "e had to face the fact that "e "ere teetering
on business bankruptcy( We "ent to our ,oard of Directors for a cash infusion, but that
only ga%e our one detractor on the ,oard the e#cuse he needed to shut us do"n( 'e
s"ayed the ,oard, and they refused us( De*ected, "e headed back to our office(
The !inal $agaCine $ira%le
We sat in our office, and stared at one another "hile "e contemplated our ne#t,
and probably, final mo%e( What.s our financial status9! ) asked >uss(
We can get this "eek.s maga&ines out,! he said, but then "e.ll ha%e to shut
do"n( ).ll notify the staffs today that /riday "ill be their last day of "ork(! That broke
my heart(
nd,! he continued, ).ll call our landlords and tell them "e.re bankrupt( Won.t
be much of a problem here in 5il"aukee, because ) didn.t rene" our lease( We.%e been
operating month-to-month because of that e#pansion e#perience in 1an Diego, but "e
still o"e a fe" months on our lease out there( ll in all, "e ha%e a fe" outstanding
creditors( We.re probably going to "ind up o"ing about PF,J00, "hen "e shut our
doors, that "e "on.t be able to pay( They.ll be dismissed by the ,ankruptcy 7ourt(!
$ee, >uss,! ) said, ) hate to go out o"ing anybody any money( fter all, they
ga%e us credit in good faith( )sn.t there anything "e can do9!
We could take home e-uity loans out against our homes((((! he said( ,ut, if "e
fail again, "e.ll be li%ing at the >escue 5ission0!
) am not "illing to gamble the last cent ) ha%e in the "orld and risk my home,! )
said(
Why don.t you get one of your famous miracles,! he said some"hat
sarcastically, but "armly humorous, as "as his nice personality( What a $>CT idea0 )
leapt to my feet( +f course, *+A*,S "hat.s been missing all of this time0 ) had been
trying to perform my own miracles!0
'a%e "e got any money left9! ) "as on fire no"(
P200(((if ) don.t pay anymore bills,! he replied(
What.s the status of our apartment in 7alifornia9! ) asked(
The lease e#pires ne#t 5onday,! he ans"ered(
ny airline tickets left9! ) had an idea, and "as burning hot "ith it(
T"o round trip tickets to 1an Diego,! he replied(
+kay, here.s the plan0 8ou and ) "ill get on an airplane, and fly to 1an Diego,
and use the last of our money to rent a car, and buy some meals o%er the ne#t three days(
We.ll mo%e into the apartment( That "ill gi%e us three days to find a buyer for the
maga&ine0 fter all, it is successful, and financially sound, so, no" that "e ha%e this last
opportunity, "e should take ad%antage of it to get out of debt,! ) reasoned(
,ut, ,ill,! >uss protested, Tomorro" is /riday( That only gi%es us the
"eekend(((and there "on.t be any businesses open on the "eekend to buy us out0!
+h, ye of little faith,! ) laughed(
We landed in 1an Diego the ne#t afternoon, rented a car, and dro%e to our
apartment( We got on the phones, and started calling around to see if "e could interest a
buyer( No luck!( <ctually, to my mind, no miracle that day=(
The ne#t day, 1aturday morning, "e got up, got dressed up for business, and met
in the li%ing room( We sat on the sofa, and stared at each other for a"hile( Then "e made
small talk( ,y no", >uss "as pacing the floor(
Well, "hat are "e going to do, ,ill9! he "anted to kno"(
We.re doing it, >uss,! ) e#plained( We.re e#pecting a miracle(!
) can.t *ust sit here, and "ait( ).%e got to do something,! >uss said( 'o" about
if ) dri%e o%er to our @andlord.s office, and talk about our financial condition, and
apologi&e for ha%ing to dump out on the lease9!
That.s fine, >uss,! ) replied( ) "ill be fine *ust sitting here expectin our
miracle to "alk through that front door, because ) know that is ho" it is going to happen(
).ll *ust be sitting here, and the door "ill open, and the miracle that "e.re e#pecting "ill
"alk right through that front door0!
>uss left( ) busied myself, "rapping up loose ends at the apartment, not gi%ing a
care in the "orld to the dilemma facing us, or the e#pected miracle( ) kne" that if ) ga%e
it any concern at all, that "ould be its un-doing( nd, "e couldn.t afford that(
T"o hours later, the front door came crashing open "ith a ;bang.0 >uss fle" in,
all e#cited( 8ou.ll ne%er, in a million years, guess "hat *ust happened to us0! he
shouted(
+f course, ) "ill,! ) ans"ered him calmly, smiling, kno"ing that our miracle had
*ust "alked in the front door0
No0 No0 @isten0! he "as as flustered as ) had ne%er seen him( ) "as %isiting
"ith our @andlord, and e#plaining our predicament, "hen he said, ;That.s okay about the
lease( s it happens, ) *ust had a fello" in here begging to sub-lease that space, until he
could lease it direct for himself( 1eems it.s the perfect location for him( nd, oh, by the
"ay, ) think ) ha%e a buyer for your business(. nd, "ith that, he picks up the phone, and
calls another one of his clients( Did ) tell you that he.s also a 7ertified 6ublic
ccountant, "ith clients9 ny"ay, he put the t"o of us on the phone, and "e talked, and
he "ill buy the business, and gi%e us enough money, up front, to pay off all of our
creditors0!
) *ust looked up to"ard the ceiling of the apartment, and mouthed a silent, Thank
you!( ).m glad it "as you "ho got to bring the miracle in our front door, >uss(((as )
kne" it "ould,! ) said in total thankfulness(
+h, yeah((((! he said reflecting on my ;prediction.(
We met "ith the buyer the ne#t day, 1unday( We negotiated a %ery fine deal( +n
the plane ride home, ) reflected for hours o%er the past t"o years, and that final "eekend
searching my soul for lessons learned( )t "as ob%ious that it is one thing to understand a
concept intellectually, but -uite another to li%e-it-in-the-faith( ) had a lot of gro"ing to
do(((spiritually(
+nce more, ) found myself on the brink of financial disaster( We "ere able to pay
off our debtors and "alk a"ay clean, but no" there "as the matter of earning an income
again(
5i,ing the !aith of $ira%le&
5y friend, ?oe, has enormous self-confidence( +nly high school educated, he
could ha%e gone on to college, but it didn.t interest him( 'e couldn.t "ait to go out on
his o"n, and start his life( 'e *ust assumed a number of things( 'e assumed that he
"ould be e-ual to any challenge life "ould thro" at him( 'e *ust assumed that he could
figure out the solution to any problem, from fi#ing a car, to building electronic gear
re-uired for his musical career, to feeding his family, once he had one(
5ost people, "hom ) kno", take a *ob directly out of school, either high school or
college( Then, they get used to a "eekly paycheck( +%er time, they become %ery
dependent upon that paycheck( They become so dependent on it, that they fear for their
*ob( What "ould happen to me, and my family,! they rationali&e, if ) lost my *ob, and
didn.t ha%e an income90!
This fearful thought keeps them tied to their *ob( They humble themsel%es to the
"ill of others, because they cannot imagine life-"ithout-a-paycheck( +%er time, they, in
self-disgust at ha%ing sold out! their principles, begin to see themsel%es as lesser human
beings( They think to themsel%es that they ha%e little, or no "orth to another employer,
so they don.t look for another *ob( With being passed o%er for promotion, or raises, time
after time, they tell themsel%es that their employer "ill keep them on because of their
loyalty!( fter all,! they reason, ha%en.t ) ;sold myself out. time and time again for
the ;good of the company.9! 6eople "ho find themsel%es in this predicament can
become disappointed, angry, defeated( They feel they are the unlucky! ones( They
dream dreams of the success they might ha%e had( Then they dream of li%ing in e#otic
places(((and they begin to blame $od for ha%ing created such an unfulfilled life for them(
,ut, ?oe ne%er found himself in that position, because ?oe ne%er had a *ob!
before coming to "ork for me0 That is, he li%ed life into his E0s "ithout e%er, once,
ha%ing a "eekly paycheck( This fact shocked me( ), "ho had al"ays had a *ob, couldn.t
imagine "hat it "as like going from "eek-to-"eek ne%er knowin if there "ould be
money the follo"ing "eek for rent, food, gasoline, or not( ?oe did all the things the rest
of us do( 'e got married( 'e had children( 'e bought a house( ,ut( 'e ne%er had a
"eekly paycheck0
?oe had earned his li%ing up until then as a musician using his $od-gi%en natural
musical gift playing in bands, at nightclubs( 'e mo%ed from to"n to to"n, band to band,
as the mood, and need, struck him( 'e "as cautious "ith his money, because it didn.t
come in e%ery "eek( ,ut, someho", he "as al"ays able to stay afloat doing "hat he
lo%ed doing(
When ) sold the maga&ine company, ) negotiated "ith the ne" o"ner to keep ?oe
on as %ice president of sales( +n my last day, ?oe and ) "alked out the front door of the
company to shake hands good-bye, as ) "as departing for the airport to go home!(
).m lea%ing, too,! he announced(
Why90! ) demanded to no"( ).%e *ust set you up in a high-paying, secure *ob0
No" you "on.t ha%e to "orry about feeding your family(!
) ne%er ha%e,! he announced brightly, but matter-of-factly(
) don.t understand,! ) -uestioned him(
'e told me that, before coming to "ork for me, he had ne%er had a steady *ob, and
didn.t need one( When ) pressed him, he e#plained that, because of his belief in himself,
he *ust assumed e%erything "ould "ork out!( 'e certainly didn.t see a need to "orry!
about it( Worry,! he said, isn.t a solution( )t isn.t e%en an option0! he declared( What
"ill ;"orry. get you9! he asked rhetorically( )t not only "on.t get you anythin, it "ill
defeat you0!
) gre" a lot that day( ) "as "orried about my o"n future( Where ) "ould go9
'o" ) "ould feed my family "hen my money ran out, and ) didn.t ha%e a replacement
*ob( The future "as an unkno"n for me( nd yet, e%en though ) professed a belief in
$od, ) admitted to ?oe that ) "as afraid(
What is there to be afraid of9! "as his casual, off-handed remark( )f you fear,
then you "ill interfere "ith your o"n outlook on life, and you "ill not be "here you need
to be, to find the *ob you.re looking for( 5ore to the point, you "on.t be in the frame-of-
mind to land the *ob, "hen you do find it(!
'e "as right, of course( ) left pondering this totally faithful concept on the plane
ride home( That "as 1K years ago, and, "hile ) ha%e had bouts of unemployment since, )
am happy to report that ?oe "as right( None ha%e pro%en to be permanent(
?oe left, too, and returned to his musical career, his band e%entually becoming the
most popular band in 6hoeni#, ri&ona( Then, as if to put his lifelong belief in himself
together "ith his belief in an ll-6ro%iding $od, he did "hat many thought "as the
unthinkable(
'e said, This is not Who ) Want To ,e, ,ill( ) am not en*oying the nightclub
scene( ctually, ) ne%er ha%e en*oyed itB it "as *ust the necessary place to be to perform
my music( ,ut, ) feel that it is not reflecti%e of "hat my life represents( ) ha%e -uit
playing nightclubs0!
What are you going to do, to make a li%ing9! ) asked(
) don.t kno"( ).ll play my music, of course( ,ut, "here9(((that "ill be up to
$od( 8ou know that ) "on.t "orry about it,! he said(
,ut,! ) protested, aren.t all of the *obs a%ailable at nightclubs9!
+h, ) sometimes play concerts, at sports games( There is "ork around( +f
course, ).ll probably take a big dip in income, but the important thing is that ) "ill be
li%ing a healthier life((( in body, mind and spirit( )t.s "orth the loss in income to li%e the
life that is important to me,! he said(
,ut $od came through again and increased the "ork opportunities in other
musical areas
and ?oe ended up doing better than e%er0
,ut, there "as, at least, one more ;lesson. for ?oe to learn(((probably the hardest
lesson, for him, of all ;lessons.(
=Ego? get& in the wa.
,efore ?oe learned the lesson of asking -uestions to find out ho" he could help
his customers, to say that ?oe "as a"are of his pro"ess to totally defeat any ad%ersary in
a mental e#change, "ould be an understatement( 'e took enormous pride in it, "hile at
the same time, he "as frustrated that it "as necessary( 'e "as so -uick mentally, that he
"as constantly frustrated by people "ho ;couldn.t keep up., and it galled him to ha%e to
backtrack, and e#plain in detail "hat "as so ob%ious to him, but ine#plicably escaped
e%eryone else, until he e#plained it for them(
s time "ore on, ?oe felt his life "as unfulfilled, so ?oe started going to 7hurch(
'e became an acti%e %olunteer playing music for the 7hurch 1er%ices, helping to s"ing a
hammer "hen "ork needed to be done around the place, and gi%ing 7hurch children
music lessons( Whate%er and "hene%er something "as needed, ?oe "as at the ready(
+ne day, ?oe called me, long distance, %ery e#cited( ,ill, ) *ust had an ama&ing
e#perience(!
Tell me about it,! ) replied(
Well, ) had *ust had an argument "ith someone, you kno", like ) al"ays do( )
"as deli%ering a de%astating blo" to this other guy, and ) "as crushing him under my
logic, and "it( ) remember feeling so superior, ha%ing triumphed so de%astatingly( Then
) came home, but "as still troubled o%er the argument( ) felt that ) "as missing
something( ) laid do"n, mulling
o%er that e%ent in my mind( ) "as remorseful, because ) had been pretty hard in making
my point(((again( nd as ) reflected on the points of the con%ersation, ) kept on saying to
myself, ;)Om right about this, ) kno" )Om right0. nd then a strange %oice interrupted me,
in my o"n head0 n audible %oice that calmly said, ;What about kind(((9.(((and ) "as
con%icted to my %ery soul( ;)#,. ) said, ;) "as )#* kind, not kind at all0.,! ) thought( )
am )!1!0 ;kind.( ) felt like such a loser at that moment( )t is nothing to be smarter than
anyone else( ll that matters is lo%ing our fello" man(((and kindness is ho" "e sho"
that0 +hmygod, ,ill, "hat ha%e ) been doing all these years90 ) ha%e been so blind to
$od.s lo%e(!
'e "as ob%iously e#tremely remorseful( 8ou.%e been kind to me,! ) said
"eakly(
'e laughed( ) laughed( We laughed, for the longest time, together( ?oe is
"orking on being kind as often as he <humanly= can(
Wh. #ira%le& are hard for =Belie,er&?
/irst, before continuing on "ith the story of ho" ) learned about $od and 'is
miracles, let me e#plain ho" ) came to understand ho" ,elie%ing in d%ance! "orks(
,elie%ing in d%ance that "e "ill get our re-uested miracle at the hour "e name only
happens, consciously, "hen "e turn the matter o%er to $od and et out of the way of it
ourselves0 We can tell $od what and when, but not from where, nor how( Telling $od
/rom Where! and 'o"! is taking control!(((and if "e try to keep control, then we
ha%e to perform the miracle(((and that *ust isn.t going to happen( ,ut, telling $od What!
and When! is not taking control, it is placing an order!((( it is putting $od to "ork!0 )
belie%e performing miracles is $od.s full-time *ob( ) think it is "hat 'e does all day
long(
Take /aith-'ealing, for e#ample( -elieve $od "ill do the healing, and $od "ill(
,ut, ) think it.s possible, that if someone refuses to go to a doctor, they are telling $od
not to use doctors to con%ey 'is miracles( )n my opinion, that person is keeping control
and determining how $od is to "ork +is miracle0 ) don.t think that its up to us to tell
$od how to do 'is *ob(((*ust to ask $od to do it, and then step back and let $od go to
"ork( @ater on, "hen ) relate some stories of healing by faith alone, because the doctors
"ere stumped, and one potential miracle that failed miserably, and "hy, you "ill see that
if $od "ants to "ork 'is miracles throuh doctors, that.s okay "ith me((() belie%e that
it.s 'is call(((+is prerogati%e0 To me, $od can deli%er my miracles any "ay 'e likes, *ust
so long as 'e comes through( -elief, to me5 means %)#W&)G in ad%ance( )f "e know
something is already a ;done deal., "e don.t ha%e to d"ell on it anymore(
5any of us are $od.s instrument( :sually "e don.t e%en kno" "hen $od is
using, or has used, us to deli%er 'is miracles( @ike those ladies "ho brought food to our
door( ) doubt that $od called them up on the phone and said, ).%e got a *ob for you((((! )
suspect that some urge to perform an act of kindness came o%er them, and doing "hat
they did made them feel good( 6robably, they deri%ed some inner peace, feeling that they
"ere doing the @ord.s "ork( ,ut, until they read this book and recogni&e themsel%es in
it, they probably ha%e no idea "hat their act of kindness, for a stranger, "rought( ) can
tell you, from personal e#perience, there is no finer feeling on the face of the earth than
kno"ing that $od has used you to perform 'is miracle in another.s life0 N+W, it.s time
for me to e#plain "hy((((
Wh. #ira%le& %an be ea&ier for =Non2Belie,er&?
) ha%e come to think that "e ,elie%ers! mess up because "e think, that if "e
,elie%e in $od, "e should try and help $od!, and, in that, "e err(
Non-,elie%ers! <if there could e%er be such a thing=, on the other hand, *ust seem
to assume sometimes that good things! <by their definition, for them= that they e#pect to
happen, will happen( They don.t seem to ha%e any specific reason as to "hy they think
that( nd, if you pressed them, they "ould probably say they are lucky!( ,ut, ) belie%e
that "hen they do make that assumption, they are demonstrating faith! that $od "ill
take care of business for them( !ven if they don.t accredit $od! "ith the e%ent, nor call
it a miracle!(
7onfidence( That.s the secret to success( ,elie%ing in oursel%es( When "e feel
that "e.re all alone out there in the "orld, it.s sometimes %ery hard to maintain blind
faith in oneself( There are plenty of detractors out there telling us ho" "rong "e are( )f
"e belie%ed them, "e.d ne%er ha%e any self-confidence4and "e.d be doomed(
Depression is simply a matter of ha%ing lost confidence in oursel%es( The
antidote is to reali&e that there is no better, smarter, more correct person on the face of the
earth than oursel%es( 'o" could there be9 'o" could anyone else kno"s "hat.s best for
us9 They.re not "alking around in our skin( They.re not facing the challenges that life
doles out to us each and e%ery day( @ife hasn.t gi%en them our friends and our detractors,
or our challenges and problems( 'o" could they possibly kno" "hat.s best for us90
s "e.%e already discussed, "hat "e believe is "hat "e get( )f "e "ant to tell
oursel%es that "e.re insane, "e.ll get insanity( )f "e tell oursel%es that "e are the
brightest, smartest,
best-est person in the "orld, guess "hat "e.ll get9 7onfidence0 That.s "hat0 When our
internal attitude changes, it "ill sho" all o%er our face( )t "ill sho" in the "arm smile
"e ha%e for e%erybody "e come across A be they a percei%ed friend or enemy( +ur step
becomes light( We e#ude a cheerfulness about our e#pressions that others "ill find
capti%ating( We "ill dra" others to us A admirers, really A because "e.ll be someone
they "ant to be around, and someone they "ant to do good things for4so good things
"ill start to happen(
Why "ill they "ant to do good things for us9 ,ecause they.ll recogni&e in us that
"hich they.%e been searching for all of their li%es A they.ll see that "e ha%e the 1ecret of
1uccess, and they.ll "ant some, too( They.ll imagine that if they simply hang around us
long enough, and stay in our good graces, that it "ill someho" magically rub off( nd,
that success is Confidence0
'ere.s an e#ample( man, "ho thinks he doesn.t belie%e in $od!, goes to
college and earns a degree( 'e assumes that this -ualifies him for a particularly good *ob
<by his definition=( 'e goes out into the "orkaday "orld, and applies at se%eral
companies( 'e gets a couple of inter%ie"s, and, lo and behold, he is accepted, and he
gets the *ob( What does he assume!9 That his credentials! ot him the *ob( ,ut, is that
"hat really happened here9 We all belie%e in cause and effect!, don.t "e9 )t.s logical(
)t.s rational( 1T1U2( ,ut, consider this((("hat about the *ob a%ailability9 )s there an
element of chance that any *obs that he "as -ualified for *ust happened to be a%ailable
"hen he graduated, and "ent looking9 h, luck9 nd, *ust "hat is this mysterious
element called luck!9 )s it chance!9 )f so, then isn.t it possible(((e%en likely that
chance! implies good luck! or no good luck!9 ,y definition, chance isn.t al"ays
positi%e!, is it9 >ather than chance!, is it possible that there is some sort of
organi&ed! pattern to life on earth9
Take, for e#ample, ballerinas and garbage collectors( There are 100,000 garbage
collectors born e%ery year for e%ery one ballerina born( nd, thank $od0 We need many,
many more garbage collectors than ballerinas, for this "orld to "ork!( What "ould
happen if, in one particular year, there "ere 100,000 ballerinas born for e%ery garbage
collector9
Would "e ha%e garbage collectors, dressed in tutus, prancing do"n our streets
collecting our garbage9 )t seems to me that "hat appears, at first glance, to be a chaotic
"orld is no"here near as chaotic as it "ould be "ithout some sort of master plan! at
"ork0
1o, if "e assume good luck(((or assume bad luck, "hat happens9 7an "e see a
correlation9 (o people.s e#pectations usually, if not al"ays, become self-fulfilling
prophesies9 Lno" any 'ard @uck 7harlies! "ho seem to al"ays get the bad breaks9
Don.t they expect not to get any good luck!9 nd, "hat about the young man in our
e#ample abo%e9 Doesn.t he go out in the "orld *ob-hunting expectin that there "ill be
some *ob a%ailable for him at that precise moment9
This tells me that, everything "e expect is a $ift from $od( C%erything is a
miracle0 $od gi%es us what we expect( C%ery act, done in faith that a particular result
"ill happen, happens0 )f "e e#pect a *ob to be a%ailable, it is( )f "e e#pect that it "on.t
be(((it "on.t be( nd, if "e e#pect to ha%e to "ait(((and are "aiting((($od grants that
expectation(((and we wait0
,ut, it seems to me, that the problem non-belie%ers! face, is that "hen the going
gets tough, and they lose their confidence in pro%idence! or their o"n positi%e outlook,
"ithout a $od, "here do they turn for help and understanding9 Then the miracles escape
them( That is the danger for an theist or gnostic(
We, ,elie%ers! and Non-,elie%ers!, can control our destiny( We can cause
miracles to happen in our o"n li%es, consciously or unconsciously( The lesson ) "as
coming to learn "as, the key to ha%ing the things, e%ents, miracles "e "ant to happen in
our li%es is understanding our relationship to $od, and "hat $od re-uires of us( This,
then, "as my ;laddin.s 5agic @amp.( We can ha%e the &Mprobable( We can ha%e the
&Mplausible( We CA) ha%e the &Mpossible0 /or, $od.s po"er kno"s no boundaries, no
limitations(((only e#pectations!0 C%ery religion ) ha%e studied teaches, preaches, "hat
?esus tells 7hristians in 5ark 11222-2J -- ,elie%e in $od and A'' things are possible( )
can tell you from e#perience that they are not only possible, but that "hat you
belie%e(((truly belie%e in your heart of hearts(((W&'' happen, no matter ho" illogical0
Chapter 0
!ear 1n23oe& $ira%le&
8i&ing fro# the a&he&
s ) contemplated "hat ) "anted to do ne#t, ) "ent o%er the successes "e had
"ith the maga&ine operations in my mind( ) really en*oyed training the salesmen( )
delighted in their successes( ) liked taking them out "ith me, and ha%ing them "atch a
sale come together( nd, ) en*oyed going out "ith them, and "atching them s"eat o%er
trying to close a sale, and then seeing their training kick in, and get the close0
Credible Sale&#an&hip
5y training had been based on t"o concepts ) had come to appreciate o%er the
length of my career( The first "as the principle that "e really can.t sell anybody
anything(((especially if they don.t "ant to buy in(((presuming that they didn.t "ant to buy
my product, because it "as not right for them in sol%ing a business problem they had(
The second "as that "hile "e really can.t sell anybody anything, "e can help facilitate
their o"n decision to buy(
1. *fraid to Bu.
,ecause, truthfully, that.s the only reason products and ser%ices e#ist -- to sol%e a
need( ,ut, ) ha%e found that people can also be fearful, e%en "hen it comes to buying a
product that they really "ant and need( ?ust the concept, of buying! anything, is scary
for most people( Nobody "ants to make a mistake, and yet they ha%e to make decisions
based in part on limited information, and part on belie%ing the salesman.s "ord(((and %ery
fe" people are "illing to trust a salesman( fter all, it.s his *ob to sell us something(((
anything, so that he can earn his li%ing(
1o, ) had to raise my salesmen.s perceptions that ) didn.t "ant them selling
anything to *ust anybody( ) needed them to see that the only "ay they could sell,
consistently, "as to be a /acilitator!( /ind out "hat the potential customer.s needs
"ere, analy&e "hether our product "as the best solution for them, at the right price, and
then, and only then, "ere they allo"ed! to close the sale(
2. The So%rati% $ethod
The second concept "as to train them in ho" to disco%er "hat the potential
customer.s real, and percei%ed needs "ere, to see if they could help them( This isn.t easy,
because fearful! customers tend not to open up "ith salesmen, lest they accidentally buy
something they didn.t intend(
1ocrates had figured out the solution G,000 years ago(((more or less( ) am a big
fan of the ;6erry 5ason method. of problem sol%ing( 8ou remember Crle 1tanley
$ardner.s famous fictional la"yer, portrayed for decades on tele%ision by >aymond ,urr(

They teach ;The 1ocratic 5ethod. in la" school( 6erry 5ason al"ays got his
criminal to confess on the "itness stand by asking him -uestions that led him do"n the
path to the ultimate truth( C%en if they tried to lie, 5ason "as able to ask the right series
of -uestions from "hich there "as no escaping the truth( This is the ultimate application
of The 1ocratic 5ethod( 1ocrates argued, three millennia ago, that his 5ethod "as a
process of asking a series of easily ans"ered -uestions, the truthful conclusion of "hich
has been foreseen by the -uestioner, that lead the ans"erer to the ine%itable, uni%ersal
truth!( +f course, that is "hy 6erry 5ason had to figure out "ho the real killer "as and
ho" they did the crime, in ad%ance, so that he "ould kno" "hich -uestions to ask that
"ould led the criminal to the inescapable truth of the crime(
The theory is a sound one, and can be applied in all "alks of life( The successful
parent dra"s their child out, "hile building their self-confidence, as they help the child
"ork through their problem-sol%ing solutions for themselves( The boss can use it to help
his employees learn( nd, salesmen can use it to help their customers sol%e their o"n
problems( The key is that if only open-ended, honest -uestions are asked, there is no
other place to arri%e than at the truth of a situation(
7onsider this2 /rom birth on"ard, "e learn by being told e%erything others "ant
us to learn <parents, teachers, friends=( 1o, "hat do "e learn to do9 1ince children learn
"hat they li%e, not "hat they.re told, "e learn to *!''( +f course, this being the
back"ard planet <see2 The 6lanet of Ne%aeh later in this book=, "hat "e should be
learning is to ask 2uestions0
1alesmen "ho tell their customers "hat to buy fail regularly( That.s "hy direct
commission salesmen only close! 20Q of their sales( ,ut, a good Socratic salesman
only asks -uestions, and never tells his customer anything0
)f a salesman tries to use -uestions to ;lure. a customer to a false conclusion he
"ants them to arri%e at(((if it.s not a truthful conclusion(((neither of them "ill get there
"ith open-ended -uestions( With open-ended -uestions -- ones that the ans"erer may
ans"er any "ay they please(((e%en "ith lies, if they "ish -- the trail only leads to a
truthful conclusion( The difficult part, of course, is being able to determine *ust "hat that
truthful conclusion is5 before meeting "ith the potential client(
@ike 6erry 5ason, they should kno" all the facts, before going into court!( ,ut,
it is not necessary( )f the salesman simply asks a series of easily-ans"ered, open-ended
-uestions pointed to"ard disco%ering the perfect solution to a potential customer.s
problem, they "ill both arri%e at the correct, truthful ans"er, together( Then, the
salesman "ill either be as pleasantly surprised as the customer, that his product or ser%ice
is the best one, and a sale "ill come together(((or, they "ill both be surprised and
disappointed to find out that it isn.t( The ;good. salesman "ill "ant to do his home"ork,
to a%oid "asting e%erybody.s time, "ith a sales presentation that isn.t going any"here
producti%e, for either participant(
+ne of the secrets of my success as a sales manager3trainer is that ) ne%er let my
salesmen sell our product to a customer "ho does not ha%e a need for it( This "ay, they
are focused on trying to disco%er the customer.s need, rather than their o"n need to sell
to make a li%ing(
* New Career
) "as back home, and back on my best thinking place -- my sofa -- staring out the
"indo", yet again( $od and ) hadn.t talked -- really talked -- for too long of a time( +f
course, by no" ) "as used to it seeming to be a one-"ay con%ersation, because $od
ne%er actually spoke to me( ,ut, the silence "as profound( 'e.s a great @istener0 nd,
%ery sympathetic(
) had ne%er seen a *ob ad%ertised as a 1ales Trainer!, but that.s "hat ) "anted to
do, ) thought to myself( +h, "ell, let.s go for it, ,ig $uy!(
) took out the 'elp Wanted section of my local ne"spaper, and dropped it on the
floor( )t fell open to the 1!s( ) looked do"n the columns( There "as one ad for a 1ales
Trainer for the 1uburban 8ello" 6ages( ) called for an inter%ie", and they said to come
do"n at F200 pm(
When ) sho"ed up, there "as a line GJ people long, and ) "as at the end( 5ore
got in line after me( When it came my turn, the )nter%ie"er "as fairly burned out, ha%ing
repeated the same ;bait and s"itch. message, o%er, and o%er again( )t seemed that nobody
"anted to be a commissioned salesman, but e%erybody "anted to be a sales trainer, on
the assumption that it "as a fi#ed salaried position( The )nter%ie"er "ent into his routine
saying that before someone could actually be the sales trainer, they had to first be a
commissioned salesman for the company(
) asked him "hat his *ob title "as( 'e said, 1ales Trainer!( )t "as pretty ob%ious
to me that the *ob ) "as looking for "asn.t actually open!( ) asked for the phone number
of the ;boss.( 'e ga%e it to me( )t "as in another, ad*oining, 1tate( ) called, and made an
appointment for a telephone conference for that /riday at 10200 am(
,ut, /riday at 10200 am, ) "as standing in his outer office( 'e "as surprised, and
not pleased to see me there, but he allo"ed me a 10-minute inter%ie"( ) came out an hour
later "ith the *ob that "as ad%ertised( The deal "e struck "as that, since his annual sales
had been flat at P1 million for the past se%eral years, ) promised to double his sales "ithin
the ne#t 12 months, or, if ) came e%en P1 short, he didn.t o"e me anything( )f ) did
achie%e that goal, ho"e%er, he o"ed me PJ0,000( 'e thought that "as a good deal( 'e
agreed to pay me in monthly increments for each month that sales at least doubled(
) trained their salesmen in my t"o basic principles, and "ent out "ith them into
the field on sales calls( 1ales doubled to P2 million by the Dth month(
That "as good, but then ) "as out of a *ob, again(
What follo"ed "as a series of other sales trainer *obs, on the same basis as this
one(
) "ish ) could report that e%erything "as ;miraculous. after that, but, ) cannot( )
disco%ered that ) "as *ust as human as e%er, and gi%en to the same fears and foibles as my
fello" man( The road "as rocky, at best( :p and do"n "ent my opportunities, and my
finances(
,ut, during this period of the ne#t 1E years, $od and ) communed regularly, and
$od helped me out, from time to time, as ) "as able to keep a proper perspecti%e on our
relationship, and keep the faith( )t "asn.t easy to do that, by the "ay( )n fact, sometimes
it "as do"nright impossible for me to do so( ) didn.t get do"n on myself at those times(
+h, ) certainly kne" "hose fault it "as( +f my fallibility, there "as no doubt( $od.s
infallibility "as, also, not in -uestion(
The miracles ) re-uested -- properly -- and that "ere al"ays fulfilled, "ere
sporadic, at best, and took many turns for many people into "hose li%es ) "as thrust by
circumstances( The lesson ) "as to come to understand "as that, no matter ho" good my
intentions, if ) failed to belie%e in advance that the miracle "ould happen -- had already
happened in the future -- in other "ords, if ) worried about the potential outcome, of
course, ) ne%er got those miracles(
fter all, ho" could )90 The rule! is /aith-First-*+!)-proof0 )f $od "ere to
rip the roof off of your house right no" and stick 'is gigantic face do"n in place of your
ceiling and say, 'ere ) m0!, "ell, "e.d all be on our knees( ,ut, 'e doesn.t "ork that
"ay( First, "e must believe( *hen, and only then, do "e get proof! by "ay of miracles(
The (o#e Bu.er&
During this period, ) took a *ob as the manager of a real estate office( While )
ha%e a >eal Cstate ,rokerOs license, ) had ne%er sold a house( ,ut, my e#perience as a
sales manager, and sales trainer, -ualified me to manage the agents( We kept long hours,
because much of real estate is sold in the e%enings( ) "as al"ays the first one in office in
the morning, and the last one out at night, "hich made for some pretty long days(
) "ould "ait until all of my >ealtor agents "ere back from their e%ening
sho"ings, in case they had an +ffer-To-6urchase to "rite, as ) had to re%ie" the
contracts, and ) didnOt "ant to be the one holding up a deal by making them "ait for the
ne#t business day( 1till, if ) had an agent out "ith a couple of clients past D200 pm, )
"ould lea%e the lights on in our storefront office, but lock the door, and then let the agent,
and his or her clients, in, "hene%er they finally arri%ed(
+ne e%ening, ) forgot to lock the front door( bout 10200 pm, a couple in their
late G0s, "ith t"o small children in to", entered the office(
N)Om sorry,N ) said, Nbut "eOre closed(N
NWell, the lights are on, the door is open, and youOre here, arenOt you90N the
"oman said %ery s"eetly( They "ere a diminuti%e couple -- she J foot e%en, and he not
o%er J foot K inches( ) felt like ) d"arfed them "ith my K foot frame, so ) sat do"n at my
desk(

N8es, "ell,N ) stammered, Nbut you see, )Om the manager, and )Om *ust "aiting for
one of my gents to check in(N
NWell, "e need to buy a home tonight, so you "ill ha%e to help us0N she declared(
NWhy tonight9N ) asked(
N,ecause "e "ant to mo%e in tomorro" morning,N she declared( ) "as
incredulous( Nobody could be this uninformed, ) thought(

N5a.am,N ) said, NThatOs impossible( /irst, "e ha%e to find you a suitable home
you can afford, submit an +ffer-To-6urchase, "ait for the 7ounter-+ffer, negotiate( Then
you ha%e to apply at a bank for a mortgage( The house has to be appraised, and you ha%e
to be -ualified by the bank( There is no "ay you could mo%e into a house, e%en if "e
could find you one tonight, in less than K "eeks0N
N+h, it "onOt be any problem at all,N she responded(
N+h, "hy is that9N ) asked, e#pecting her to tell me they "ere going to pay cash
for the house, "hich "ould surely e#pedite the "hole process(
N,ecause ) asked $od to gi%e us a home by morning,
and 'e ne%er lets me do"n(N she said(
NWell, e%en if ) had an gent a%ailable, itOs "ay too late tonight, to find you a
home,N ) declared(
N8ouOre licensed, arenOt you9N she asked(
NWell, yessssss, but )O%e ne%er sold a home, and am not e#pert enough, for you to
trust,N ) demurred(
NWell, you must belie%e in $od, donOt you90N she persisted(
N#f course5 & do,N ) proclaimed, indignantly( N+n that issue, there is no -uestion(N
NDo you belie%e in miracles9N she asked(
Nbsolutely((()O%e had many0N ) shot back(
1he dre" herself up, stuck her chest out, and said, N@ook0 ) prayed and asked
$od to get me a home "e could mo%e into, by morning, because "e ha%e no"here to
li%e( We had made arrangements to buy a house on a land contract from a little old lady,
here in the city, "ho "as to finance it for us((("e li%e up north about 200 miles( 5y
husband *ust got a *ob, do"n here, that started last "eek( We mo%ed into her home, but
she didnOt mo%e her things out( When ) asked her "hen she planned to mo%e, she said she
had no intention of mo%ing(((she *ust "anted a family to li%e in "ith her0
We told her that this "asnOt our understanding, and she had to lea%e( Well, she
"ouldnOt, and "e "ere relegated to the basement( ll four of us( We ha%e been "ashing,
daily, in the gas station restroom on the corner, and "e canOt go on like this, all huddled
together in a basement0 ThatOs "hen ) decided to ask $od for a miracle tonight, and
bundled the family into our car, and started dri%ing around looking for a >ealtor "ho "as
still open( nd, here you are((($odOs miracle >ealtor for us0 1urely you are not going to
deny God90N
) looked past them out into the parking lot, and spied their old beat-up "reck of a
car, parked in front of our door( N'o" much money do you ha%e to buy a house "ith(((or
to put for a do"n payment9N ) asked(
N+h, "e donOt ha%e any money at all( 5y husband, here, has been an alcoholic for
the past 10 years, and has been unable to "ork( ) ha%e kept the family going "orking
part time as a "aitress,N she said(
5y eyes bugged out of my head( 'o" in the "orld could she possibly think they
could buy a home(((o%ernight((( "ith no money at all, ) "ondered to myself(
N8ouO%e been supporting the family "orking part time9N ) asked( NWhy didnOt you
"ork full-time9N
N) couldnOt,N she ans"ered, Nbecause, ) had to gi%e the other hours of the "eek in
%olunteer ser%ice to the 7hurch0N
NThat couldnOt ha%e left you much money to li%e on(((9N ) challenged her(
NWe get by((("ith $odOs help, and "eOre not picky((("eOll take the cheapest house
on the market0N she declared(
N+kay, okay,N ) surrendered in utter disbelief( fter all, ) reasoned to myself, "ho
"as ) to interfere "ith her miracle( ) got out my @istings book and turned to the first
page, because @istings start at the lo"est priced, and go up from there, and looked for the
cheapest house( ) found one for PJE,000(
N'o" much does your husband make9N ) asked her, because he "as sitting mute
allo"ing his "ife to take full control of the con%ersation(
NWell, he "as lucky to get anyone to hire him, "hat "ith his poor "ork history,
and being a reformed alcoholic, and all(N ) shot a glance at him, and he *ust nodded, and
stared at the floor( N'eOs a ?anitor at 'arnischfeger( 'e makes PK a hour(N
N5rs( ?ohnson <not her real name for reasons of pri%acy=,N ) e#claimed, NThatOs
less than P12,J00 a year0N Then, getting out my calculator, NThe most you can afford is a
PGK,000 house and there *ust arenOt any(((and thatOs presuming a bank "ould take the
chance "ithout a do"n payment0 5ost unlikely0N
Nnd you claim to belie%e in miracles0N she demanded indignantly(
N+kay, okay,N ) said, once more( ) picked up the phone, and called the @isting
>ealtor at home, and made the %erbal +ffer( t first, she "as thrilled to ha%e anyone
sho" an interest in this OlemonO that had been sitting on the market for o%er a year(((that is,
until she heard the +ffer( Then she "as indignant0 ,ut ) insisted she call her o"ner right
a"ay, and present our offer, as is my right(
1he called back in a fe" minutes "ith a counter-offer of PEJ,000( NWhat you
donOt understand about these buyers,N ) stressed( Nis that they ha%e no money, and they
earn no money to speak of( TheyOll be lucky to find a bank "ho "ill go along "ith our
PGK,000 +ffer0N
N5y +"ner "onOt accept that,N "as her flat response(
N8ou donOt ha%e the right to speak for your o"ner,N ) replied indignantly, N8ou
have to present our 7ounter-7ounter-+ffer(N
1he "as back to me in a fe" minutes( N) "ill meet you at the home at H200
oOclock in the morning(((sharp0N she said, N(((and "hen they see this little *e"el of a
house, theyOll meet our price,N she said confidently(
+b%iously, the "oman "as either not a business"oman, or she "as brain-dead0
+f course, they "ould pay full price(((if(((they(((could(((afford(((it(((but they couldnOt0 5y
OclientO took her little family, and marched confidently out of the office at 11200pm
singing, N1ee you in the morning0N
) dreaded "hat this dump of a shack "as going to look like( fter all, it "as the
cheapest house on the market, in the "orst part of the city( The ne#t morning, ) pulled up
in front of the home, parked, and got out of my car at H200 am sharp to find my family,
and the other agent "aiting on the side"alk(
1he s"ung the fence gate open, and ) caught my breath0 The house "as adorable0
)t "as a cute little 7ape 7od, complete "ith dormers( When "e entered the immaculate
home, "e "ere met "ith brand ne" carpeting, throughout( The "ood"ork had all been
stripped, and restrained on all of the doors, "indo"s, and arches( brand ne" linoleum
floor in the kitchen "as almost o%ershado"ed by the brand ne" refrigerator, and o%en
and range, as "ell as brand ne" cabinetry( The children delighted in their rooms,
upstairs, "ith built-in t"in beds, and built-in shel%es, and desks, all freshly painted in
"hite enamel( The house "as indeed, a *e"el0
NWeOll take it0N my diminuti%e client enthused(
NThen, "eOll dri%e o%er to the home of the o"ner, and conclude the negotiations,N
the >ealtor ordered, as she marched back to curb(
We cara%anned our "ay out to the gorgeous suburbs, and pulled up in front of a
spacious, huge ranch home that must ha%e gone for P2J0,000(
We "ere met at the front door by a huge bear of an old man, dressed in o%eralls(
'e had "orking manOs hands, but a pleasant, and friendly, -uiet demeanor( 'e led us into
the kitchen, "here "e all sat do"n at the kitchen table, as his "ife poured us coffee, and
put out rolls(
) sat on one side of the kitchen table, across from the other >ealtor, "hile the
o"ner, and my clients sat at the opposite ends of the table, staring at each other, -uietly(
NWhatOs the matter "ith you, 5ister90N the o"ner challenged my client.s husband(
NWhy arenOt you "illing to pro%ide at least the minimum basic house for your family at a
reasonable price90N he demanded to kno"(
) *ust stared in disbelief at the other >ealtor, as she allo"ed this con%ersation to
take place( 6rofessional >ealtors never let the customers talk to each other directly( )tOs
like a la"yer(((your representati%e does all the negotiating, to keep control of the sale(((but
she seemed perfectly "illing to let the o"ner talk directly to my client(((so, "ho "as ) to
-uestion it90
NWell, 1ir,N the husband stammered, N) am "illing(((my >ealtor says, ) *ust canOt
afford any more(((N pointing to me( N8ou see, 1ir, ) am a reco%ering alcoholic( )O%e been
unemployed for the past 10 years, and *ust last "eek got a ne" *ob as a *anitor o%er at the
'arnischfeger plant(N
N+arnischfeer0N the +"ner cried( NWho do you "ork for, o%er there90N
N nice gentleman by the name of 7harley >ogers <not his real name, for reasons
of pri%acy=,N he ans"ered(
N8ou can ha%e the house for your PGK,0000N the o"ner announced(
NC#cuse me,N ) interrupted, N(((er((("eOre not sure "e can find a bank thatOll make
that loan *ust yet(N
NNo problem,N the o"ner replied, N)Oll finance it myself, on a land contract0N
N,ut(((but, you donOt e%en kno" if this guyOs good for it, 5r( >ock"ell <not his
real name=,N the o"nerOs gent protested( N'e hasnOt e%en been -ualified0N
N@ook,N the o"ner replied, N) *ust retired, after GK years as head of
'arnischfeger.s 5aintenance Department( 7harley >ogers came to me as a reformed
alcoholic 1J years ago( ) took a chance on him, and he "orked out *ust fine( )f this guyOs
good enough for 7harley, heOs good enough for me0 )Om gi%ing him the house for his
price, right here and no"0N
N1ir,N ) inter*ected, N)f you donOt mind my asking, "hy is the house in such brand
ne" condition9N
N1on,N he said to me, being a bit younger than him, N5y father built that home( )
gre" up in that home( nd, ) raised my family there(((so, ) li%ed in that home my entire
life( We *ust bought this place last year, as a legacy to lea%e our Do"nOs 1yndrome only
son( ,ut, you ha%e to understand( ) couldnOt *ust lea%e the family homestead run do"n( )
had to fi# it up for some deser%ing young family, like your people here((("ho "ill take
lo%ing care of it, as ) did o%er the years(N
5y clients "ere beaming( Tears of *oy, and tenderness, "ere rolling do"n the
cheeks of my little family(((and the other >ealtor(((and my o"n, as "ell(
N7an "e mo%e in this morning9N the little "ife brashly asked(
The o"ner reached into the pocket of his o%eralls, and pulled out a set of door
keys( 'e thre" them do"n the table to the husband "ith, N,e my guest0N
We all finished our coffee, and rolls, and headed out the door( The other >ealtor
to "rite up the paper"ork, and my little clients to start mo%ing into their ne" home( )
looked at my "atch( )t "as D200 am(((only one hour, and the %ery ne#t morning, here
they "ere(((mo%ing into their ne"ly purchased home0 ) thought to myself, N$od sure
mo%es -uickly "hen $od "ants to(N
s "e turned to part, my diminuti%e "ife client turned to me, and asked, NDid you
e%er doubt $od, 5r( Tucker9N
Nbsolutely never0N ) replied(((but ) ha%e to admit, ) "alked to my car
lightheaded, and light-footed, as if "alking on air(
Chapter 4
5i,ing D$ira%ulou&l.>
Ba%+ to the $all Bu&ine&&
When these sales training assignments ran out, ) "ent upstairs! again(
) "as standing in the lobby of my last employer, ha%ing been summarily
dismissed after doubling their sales, again( ) "as staring out the "indo" "ondering "hat
) "as to do ne#t, since ) had run out of direct commission sales customers( s ) "as
staring off into space, my eyes suddenly focused on "hat "as out that "indo"( )t "as the
classiest shopping center in to"n0 ) had managed the t"o largest malls, but here "as the
most elegant and reputable mall staring me in the face( ) could go back into the mall
business at 5ayfair 5all,! ) reasoned "ith myself, *ust for a little respite and a safe
harbor to rebuild my finances(!
@ooking hea%en"ard, once again, ) said, +kay, $od, here.s the deal( ) "ant to
be the manager of that shopping center across the street(((and ) "ant that *ob "ithin the
ne#t G0 days0 ,:T, ) don.t "ant anybody to ha%e to lose their *ob to make an opening
for me(! nd, then ) said, Thank you,! because ) already kne" it "as a done deal( <see2
The 5iscarriage later in this 7hapter for a deeper understanding of the thank you!
phenomenon=( nd, of course, ) promptly put the matter out of my head so ) "ouldn.t be
tempted to "orry! about it(
fe" "eeks later ) "as re-uired to %isit our local banker to complete some ta#
forms for our maga&ine business that >uss and ) had licensed to the 7alifornia publisher(
While sitting across from his desk ans"ering ta# -uestions, he asked me, out of the blue,
if ) intended to apply for the mall manager.s *ob at 5ayfair9 ) "as shocked( Why9! )
"anted to kno"(
They ad%ertised last "eek for a mall manager, and ) thought at the time, "ho
better -ualified than you(((and since you.re currently out of "ork((((! he said( ) *ust
smiled(((a kno"ing little smile( fter all, the G0 days "ere *ust about up(
) called the mall( The secretary "ho ans"ered said, ).m sorry, but applications
are no" closed(!
That.s okay,! ) replied, ?ust tell the boss that ) am on the phone, and he "ill
open them up again(!
N+, he "on.t0! she "as adamant
?ust please gi%e him my name,! ) implored her( 1he said it "as a "aste of time,
but she "ould do as ) asked( 1he came back in a moment and scheduled an inter%ie" for
me(
) al"ays "ear my best business suit "hene%er ) go on an inter%ie", but as )
contemplated my choice the morning of the inter%ie", ) laughed to myself and selected
the most hideous suit ) o"ned( fter all, ) couldn.t possibly ad%ersely affect the
outcome(((it "as a ;done deal.(
When ) sho"ed up for the appointment that morning, the %ice president in%ited
me to sit do"n ne#t to him at the table, and he e#plained that, heretofore, the mall ne%er
had a manager!( 'e had been running the day-to-day operations, but it had become
such a big *ob, he had decided se%eral "eeks ago to create a mall manager position0 )
*ust smiled to myself( ll "as going according to plan( 'e talked non-stop for the ne#t
t"o hours, rarely asking me any -uestions( ) "as a good listener( ) had learned through
sales that it is the good listener -- not the talker! "ho "on the sale0
t the end of his diatribe, he said, ) don.t kno" "hy ) am doing this, because
you are the "eakest candidate from my field of 1K -ualified applicants(((but ) am no"
offering you the *ob( Would you like to start 5onday9! 5onday "as the G0th day( )
accepted(
*ngel&, al&o, 3eli,er $ira%le&
1ome people belie%e in ngels( 7ould $od use ngels to deli%er 'is miracles9
$uess that.s a rhetorical -uestion( )s there anything $od can,t do9 ).%e mentioned
miracles can be for big things(((great things((("onderful things, but they can e%en be for
little things( 'ere.s an e#ample(
) "as li%ing in the far North of the 5id"est( )t "as "inter( ) had to tra%el to a
tiny to"n for a ban-uet honoring some local children ) had responsibility for, through my
%olunteer organi&ation program managers in the area( The roads "ere clear "hen ) left
home for the G0 mile dri%e(
When "e "ere all lea%ing the restaurant, "here the ban-uet had been held, at D200
pm that night, ) disco%ered that sno" had been falling for hours, and "as a foot deep on
the ground( ) got in my car to start it up, only to disco%er that my battery "as dead0 )t
seems that ) had left my headlights on "hen tra%eling to the to"n, during the daylight, for
safe high"ay dri%ing( ) hurried back to the restaurant, hoping to find a local remaining
after the ban-uet, "ho could help me( C%eryone "as gone, and the restaurant "as dark(
No one ans"ered my knock( ) looked around( The entire to"n "as dark( pparently,
e%erybody had already gone to bed0 Not "anting to disturb anyone, ) looked for a gas
station(
/ortunately, the one on the ne#t corner "as one for "hich ) had a ser%ice club
membership(((but it, too, "as closed( sign on the "indo" ga%e a phone number of the
o"ner, in case of emergencies( ) called it, and the o"ner.s "ife ans"ered the phone(
).m sorry,! she said, but the station is closed no"(!
) understand,! ) pleaded, but, ).m really desperate( 5y battery.s dead, and ).m
G0 miles from home, and you don.t ha%e a hotel in this to"n( 7ouldn.t your husband
please come out, and gi%e me a *ump start9!
).m sorry,! she continued, but 1am.s out in the back forty rounding up the
cattle, because this is going to be one lollapaloo&a of a storm "e.re getting0!
6lease,! ) implored her, or, if not, can you refer me to another station( ) belong
to your auto club(!
+h, the auto club9! she perked up, That "on.t be a problem, then( 1am "ill be
out as soon as he gets the cattle in(!
T"o hours later, 1am sho"ed up at the station, and *ump started my car( )
thanked him, and started on my "ay out of to"n, dreading the dri%e o%er the cur%ing,
t"isting and "inding road on the little t"o-lane -- one lane in each direction -- back
high"ay, at the posted speed limit of GJ miles per hour(
) got about G00 yards out of to"n, "ith large sno"flake flurries rushing at my
"indshield furiously, restricting my %ie" to about 20 feet( There "ere no street lights out
in the country, so ) only had my headlights, "hich had to be on lo" beam to guide me,
because of the blinding reflection bright lights had on the flurries( t this point, ) kne"
from memory that the road started to cur%e, and ) couldn.t see the ground( The blanket of
sno" reduced the entire landscape to one sea of smooth "hite( There "as no "ay to tell
"here the ditch "as on either side of the road(
) had a yardstick in the back seat, so ) decided to get out of the car, and "alk
ahead of my car, probing the sno" for the edge of the road( ) "alked G0 feet, stuck the
stick in the sno" at the road.s edge( Then ) got back in my car, and inched for"ard to the
stick( Then ) got out, and repeated the procedure( ) kept this up for an hour, but had only
mo%ed for"ard another G00 yards, or so( The sno" kept coming(
) reali&ed that, at this pace, ) might get home sometime in late 1pring or early
1ummer0 )f ) sur%i%ed0 +hmygod,! ) thought to myself, ) might not sur%i%e0! )f )
tried to *ust "ait out the storm until morning, my car "ould run out of gas, and ) could
free&e to death, before help could arri%e0 ).d better "alk back to to"n, and "ake
someone up "ho could gi%e me shelter for the night0! ) thought(
) got out of my car, and looked back"ard( The to"n "as not %isible( No lights
"ere shining from it( nd, the road behind me "as completely co%ered o%er again( )
couldn.t e%en retrace my tire tracks( ) "asn.t e%en sure of the "ay to "alk back, because
the road had been t"isting so much in the last G00 yards( 5oreo%er, if ) tried to turn my
car around on the tiny road, ) could slip off into the ditch0 ) "as stuck0
) got back in my car to consider any other solution( None presented itself( ).m a
dead man,! ) thought to myself(
Then, ) thought about $od( ) prayed, 6lease, $od, help me( ) am lost and
alone(((e#cept for 8ou( 6lease help me out of this storm, and back home to my "ife and
children( nd, please forgi%e me, for ought ) ha%e against any(! ) really had no doubt
that $od "ould ans"er my prayer(
?ust then, a W'++1'! s"ept past my car( ) spied the strange taillights of a car
receding out of sight in front of me( The car must ha%e been tra%eling at least the speed
limit0 ,y the time "hat had *ust happened registered "ith me, and ) had collected my
"its about me, the car "as a good G blocks ahead of me, and disappearing fast0
) can follo" him,! ) thought( nd ) pressed my gas pedal, and sped off after him(
s he made a s"er%e on the road, ) made a mental note of e#actly ho" far in front of me
that cur%e "as, and turned there, "here ) thought he had turned( The sno" "as coming
so fast and furious, ) couldn.t e%en see "ell enough to follo" his tire tracks, so,
estimating the distance "as all ) had to go on(
) maintained the G blocks distance bet"een us( ) mar%eled at ho" fast he "as
dri%ing( +b%iously he couldn.t see the road any better than ) could( 'e must ha%e e%ery
hook and crook in this road memori&ed,! ) reasoned to myself( /urther, ) tried to identify
the model car it "as, because the taillights "ere none that ) e%er remembered seeing
before( ,ut, the taillights "ere all ) could see( )t "as ethereal( ) couldn.t see any other
part of the car in the dark and the flurries(((*ust the taillights(
We tra%eled on this "ay, my anonymous friend! and ), for close to an hour( s
"e neared the city "here ) li%ed, ) recogni&ed that o%er the ne#t rise, the road became a
E-lane high"ay, "ell lit, and straight as an arro" for the final J miles into the city( ).m
safe0! ) thought( ) sa" him shoot up o%er the rise and disappear do"n the other side( )
increased my speed to narro" the gap( ).%e got to catch up "ith him, and thank him for
sa%ing my life,! ) thought to myself(
,y the time ) shot up o%er the rise, ) couldn.t ha%e been more than a block behind
him( s my car burst onto the lighted, straight stretch, the flurries had totally subsided,
and ) could see fi%e miles ahead of me(
The strange car "as no"here to be seen0 'e couldn.t ha%e turned off
any"here,! ) reasoned to myself, because there "ere no cross roads for miles ahead( ,ut,
) pushed my gas pedal to the floor in a desperate attempt to close "hate%er gap remained
bet"een us, to try and find him( ) "as o%er"helmed "ith appreciation, and ) *ust had to
thank him0
'e "as no"here to be found( s ) slo"ed my car for the last couple of miles to
my home, and the "aiting arms of my little family, ) reflected at "hat this apparition
could possibly ha%e been( )t occurred to me that it must ha%e been an ngel, sent by
$od, in ans"er to my prayer( ) could think of no other e#planation( </or other ngel
stories, read 1ophia ,urnham.s Anel 'etters!=
)t "as much later that ) sa" the "hole e%olution of that miracle( The key "as in
the yardstick0 Why did ) ha%e a yardstick in the backseat in the first place9 ) "ould
ne%er ha%e a reason to ha%e a yardstick in my car, and so ne%er did ha%e one in there( )
had been gi%en this particular yardstick as a gift a fe" days earlier "hen ) had %isited a
hard"are store and made a purchase( The clerk ga%e me the yardstick as a store
promotion, and ) had unthinkingly tossed it in the backseat, and had failed to remo%e it(
When ) "as at the point in my *ourney home "here ) could ha%e turned around
and sought refuge in the to"n, the presence of the yardstick had encouraged me to use it
to go further on, thereby sealing my fate, putting myself out there too far from the to"n
to turn back( 'ad $od seen to it that ) got the free yardstick so that ) "ould have to rely
on 'is ngel(((to learn another lesson about our relationship "ith $od9
+ur need! in life is to see all e%ents as either miracles(((or the steps that lead to
"hat "e call ;miracles. <great beneficences from $od=( Therefore, ) reason, "hen bad!
things happen in my life, they are not really bad things at all( They are the stepping
stones to a miracle( They are the steps that lead to our miracles( nd, miracles are our
steps to finding $od proacti%e in our li%es(
Chapter 16
*ll 7eople Can (a,e $ira%le&
The (oll.wood Trip
Then there "as the time "hen my parents "on a free trip to 'olly"ood( No", my
family comes from modest means, so the folks didn.t get to tra%el much o%er their
lifetime( When my mother "on a free trip to 'olly"ood, to be the guests of a tele%ision
production company, the prospect of being in the studio audience, and then getting to go
back stage, after"ards, to meet the stars! "as an unimagined dream come true(
The big day, for their flight to 7alifornia, finally arri%ed( 5om and Dad "ere
really looking for"ard to escaping "inter to bask in the 7alifornia sunshine( 5om
insisted "e get to the airport by 10200 am, e%en though their flight "asn.t until 1200 pm(
1he "as taking no chances on missing the flight0 fter all, the deal "as, they either made
this flight, or the trip "as forfeited(
When "e arri%ed at the airport, it "as cra"ling "ith literally thousands of holiday
tra%elers( The lines "ere J0 people long at each and e%ery reser%ations counter(((and
there "ere at least J0 such counters0 ) had my parents take seats "hile ) stood in line for
them( There "as a furious bli&&ard raging outside( ,ut, so far, the early morning flights
had taken off "ithout incident( Then came the de%astating announcement o%er the public
address system( )t seemed that all flights "ere postponed "hile the airport de-iced
airplanes and plo"ed sno" from the run"ays( Then, flights started to be canceled(
6otential passengers rushed from airline to airline, hoping for a%ailable seats, and hoping,
too, that a later flight "ould be able to take off(
,ut, then, e%en those later flights "ere canceled( 6eople started to drift out of the
terminal as their last hopes dried up( We sat there, in the bench seats facing the airline
counters( 5y parents started to "orry( ) turned to them and said, Don.t "orry, you.ll
make it out(! ) had e%ery confidence that $od "ould come through(
s the day "ore into early e%ening, the airport "as really thinning out( ,ut, e%ery
time ) approached the counter, the agents "ould say they still had hopes the storm "ould
abate, they.d get the run"ays cleared, and the planes "ould start flying again( 1o "e
"aited( nd, "aited( nd, "aited( C%entually, all of the flights out "ere canceled(
Well, ) guess the trip "as not meant to be,! my father said, resignedly(
Don.t gi%e up the faith, Dad,! ) replied( 1omeho", some "ay, $od is going to
deli%er you an airplane, and you.ll make the trip yet(!
) approached the counter and asked if there "ere any flights originating else"here
that "ere scheduled to make a stop in 5il"aukee for continuing on West9
The agent said that there "as one flight left, at 10200 pm, lea%ing Detroit,
scheduled to stop in 5il"aukee and continue on to @os ngeles( ,ut, e%en though the
storm has stopped in Detroit, it.s still coming do"n too hea%y here,! she said(
) asked "hat that meant9 1he said that if the plane couldn.t put do"n in
5il"aukee, it "ould *ust fly o%er and continue on "ithout stopping(
t J minutes to 10200 pm, the agent rushed o%er to "here "e "ere seated( The
clouds ha%e broken0! she declared e#citedly( The plane is landing to pick your parents
up0! ) looked around the %ast e#panse of the airport( We "ere the only ones left in the
"hole place( 5y father looked at me, and said, ) guess they, too, should ha%e kept the
faith0!
5ittle $ira%le&
5uch later in life, after my father "as gone and my means "ere, once again,
modest, my mother "as li%ing only on her social security( ) relate this miracle here out of
chronological se-uence because it illustrates the point of teaching others to find their
miracles(
5y mother had an une#pected e#pense to her car that she had not budgeted for, so
she had scrimped and sa%ed her pennies until she had the precious PH0 she needed( The
day she had finally accumulated that amount, ) arranged to meet my mother "ith my son
at a local diner for dinner( We parked ne#t to each other in the restaurant.s parking lot(
When "e came out of the restaurant, "e all immediately noticed that my mother.s
dri%er.s side car door "as a*ar( +h, no0! she cried an#iously( We rushed o%er to her car
only to disco%er that it had ob%iously been broken into as the burglar.s tools "ere lying
on the dri%er.s seat(
5y money0! my mother shrieked( 1he rifled her glo%e compartment, and then
broke do"n sobbing, 5y PH0 is $+NC0! 1he "ent on to e#plain that she had put the
cash in the glo%e compartment in anticipation of taking her car into the repair garage the
ne#t morning( ) felt badly because ) did not ha%e PH0 to gi%e her( ) refrained from
lecturing my mother about the foolishness of lea%ing cash in her car because that "ould
be of no use other than to make her feel "orse, and she had ob%iously learned her lesson,
as "e all do, the hard "ay(
We called the 6olice and the +fficer "ho arri%ed searched her car thoroughly( )
put the cash right on top of that stack of papers in the glo%e compartment,! my mother
said( The +fficer meticulously took each piece of paper out of the glo%e compartment
and looked at it scrupulously before putting it back *ust to make sure the money "as
actually gone( ).m sorry, ma.am,! he said at length, but, ).m afraid that your money is
gone, and you ne%er can count on getting your cash back e%en if "e do find the thief,
"hich is doubtful(!
)t "as only PH0, but to my mother it "as a de%astating loss at a time "hen it "as
irreplaceable( ,ill,! my mother turned to me, What am ) going to do9!
6ray and ask $od to return your cash, 5om(((and belie%e in ad%ance that 'e
"ill,! "as all ) could say( ,ut, ) belie%ed that admonition to the core of my soul( ) kne"
if she did, $od "ould pro%ide(
That night she tossed and turned all night unable to sleep for the "orry o%er her
loss( 1he fell asleep e%entually( When she a"oke, she reflected on my "ords of the night
before and decided to ask $od to return her money( fter saying her prayer, she felt a
calm come o%er her, and she finally rela#ed( fe" moments later, she felt a strong urge
to return to her car.s glo%e compartment( 1he "ent into the garage and opened the glo%e
compartment, and there "as the PH0 in cash sitting on top of the stack of papers(
The :nno%en%e of Children>& faith
When my son "as J years old, ) took him to DisneyWorld at his urgent pleadings(
) made it a surprise( ) *ust told him "e "ere going on a surprise trip, but didn.t tell him
"here( ) dro%e to the airport and "e boarded the plane for /lorida( The look of
ama&ement in his eyes at the %ast airport, and then as he "as glued to the plane.s porthole
"indo" as "e took off and left the ground "as my delight at the "onder in his eyes( )
couldn.t help but feel that must be the sort of pleasure $od en*oys "hen "e ask 'im for a
miracle and 'e pro%ides it <because "e belie%e in ad%ance that 'e "ill=( 'e must delight
in seeing the a"e and the glee in our faces at that moment(((or the tears of *oy, if that is
ho" "e meet our miracle blessings(
When "e arri%ed in /lorida that ?uly, it "as raining a light misty rain( The rain
persisted the "hole first day( We "ore rain slickers so it "asn.t terribly uncomfortable,
but "e both "ished for the sunny e#perience on our holiday( The second day as "e sat at
the hotel.s shuttle bus stop to DisneyWorld e#periencing the mist, my son looked up at
me "ith big trusting eyes(((only the eyes of total belief in the $od-like po"ers of a
parent(((and asked, Daddy(((can you make the rain stop9!
couple of adults sitting near-by chuckled at the innocence of the -uestion( No,
son,! ) said, ,ut $od can if "e belie%e 'e "ill(((but "e both ha%e to belie%e %ery
much(!
+h, ) belie%e 'e "ill, Daddy0! he e#claimed( The other adults then fro"ned( )
could imagine that they "ere thinking "hat a terrible parent ) must be to mislead my o"n
child "ith such foolishness(
+kay, 5att,! ) said, 'ere.s "hat "e must do( We must pray and ask $od to
stop the rain in one minute( Then "e "ill count do"n K0 seconds by counting one-
thousand-one, one-thousand-t"o, and so on, okay9!
,eaming, my son looked up at me "ith total belief(((for he had no reason to doubt
me( When ) sa" that affirmation in his eyes, ) could not disbelie%e myself( ) *ust kne"
$od "as about to re"ard such heart-felt innocent faith(
We started to count( When "e reached one-thousand-si#ty, the rain instantly
stopped, and the 1un broke through the cloud co%er( The beaming smile on my son.s face
had been there the entire time "e "ere counting( )t "asn.t as if he "as "aiting to see )/
it "ould happen( )t "as more like he kne" it "as about to happen and he "as en*oying
the anticipation( The other adults looked at us as if "e "ere possessed and scootched a
little further a"ay from us do"n the bench( +b%iously, they didn.t understand "hat they
"ere seeing(
) laugh about it no" because it "as probably one of the "orse miracles "e e%er
asked for, because, in ?uly, "hen the 1un comes out in /lorida, the heat is insufferable,
and "e s"eltered for the ne#t G days( ) don.t ha%e any idea "hy it didn.t occur to us to
go back upstairs and ask $od to return the misty rain( We *ust suffered in the glaring
heat(
The $i&%arriage
This is the point in the story "here "e "ill e#plore a deeper understanding of the
thank you! phenomenon(
)n my *ob as the sales trainer for the suburban 8ello" 6ages, ) re-learned a lesson
in faith that ) had kno"n instincti%ely years before, but it had not gelled in my mind, until
a %ery young lady taught it to me(
5y telemarketing department super%isor came into my office one morning, and
said, 1usan <not her real name= didn.t come into "ork today!(
Why9 What.s the problem9! ) in-uired(
1he had a miscarriage last night,! "as his reply(
+h, ) am so sorry to hear that0 Well, gi%e her a fe" days to recuperate(((in fact,
let her ha%e a "eek( ,ut, ) "ant her back here a "eek from today0! ) said(
5aybe she.ll need longer than that,! he said pensi%ely(
5aybe she "ill, and that.ll be okay, if she has a medical reason,! ) said, but, for
e%ery day after one "eek, ) "ant a medical reason e#planation( 8ou see, ,ob, a ma*or
loss like this can be de%astating to one.s emotional stability, and "ork is a good antidote(
)f she is depressed o%er the loss, getting her mind back on "ork, and off of herself, "ill
be good medicine0!
+kay,! he said( ,ob "as of merican )ndian descent( 'e and ) had a good
relationship( ) really appreciated his managerial skills, and his caring attitude about his
employees( ,ecause he respected others, and sho"ed it, he had e#cellent rapport, and
loyalty, from his people( We had a natural, easy relationship, and ) admired him, greatly(
'e "as back the follo"ing 5onday morning to report that 1usan "ould not be back that
day(
) asked, Why9 )s there a physical problem9!
Noooo,! he "as hesitant( 1he *ust said, she felt she "anted more time off( )t
seems that this is not her first miscarriage(((and her husband is so disappointed, he.s
blaming her0!
That concerns me, ,ob,! ) said( )f she refuses to come in tomorro", please tell
her that ).d like to take her to lunch(! )t "as my intention to talk to her about $od, to see
if ) couldn.t help her heal( ,esides, ) "anted to e#plain ho" "rong her husband "as for
blaming her, to gi%e her some balance(
The ne#t day, she again decided not to come in to "ork, but ,ob had made a
luncheon appointment for us at a nearby restaurant(
) "as some"hat taken aback by her cheerful demeanor "hen she arri%ed to keep
our appointment( 8ou kno", 1usan,! ) started, "e really miss you at "ork( 8ou are
one of our %ery best "orkers, and the place isn.t the same "ithout you((((!
).m sorry, 5r( Tucker,! she responded, but, ) *ust felt ) needed some time to
myself((((!
Well, that.s perfectly all right,! ) replied, but, you kno", it might be helpful for
your reco%ery to busy yourself "ith "ork( 5ay ) tell you a little story about $od, and
"hy this unfortunate e%ent may ha%e happened to you9!
1he reached her hand across the table and touched mine, much as a parent
"anting to soothe a child might do( +h, that isn.t necessary,! she said, ) kno" all about
$od( ) can tell you are "orried about me, but let me put your mind at ease( ) am not
depressed, and ) am not blaming myself for the miscarriage( True, ) am %ery saddened by
it(((and, it isn.t my first( ,ut, ) kno" that $od has 'is reasons, and ).m okay "ith it(!
The shock at this "isdom must ha%e sho"n on my face(
1he continued( 5ay ) tell you a little story, 5r( Tucker9!
) "ould be delighted,! ) said, rela#ed no" and smiling(
When ) "as a young teenager, my best friend "as from a %ery "ealthy family,
"hile my father "as "orking class( 5y friend.s parents took e%ery 1ummer off, and
tra%eled the "orld( They, of course, took their daughter "ith them on these G-month
e#cursions( We "ere %ery sad, of course, because "e al"ays hoped to be able to spend
out 1ummers together(
+ne such 1ummer, my friend said she "as going to ask her father if she could,
please, not go on the trip, and spend the 1ummer staying at our house(((if that "ould be
okay "ith my family( 5y parents said that "ould be no problem( ,ut, "hen she asked
her father, he said, ;@et.s take 1usan with us to Curope, all e#penses paid0.( We "ere so
e#cited, ) rushed home to tell my parents( ;bsolutely, )#*0., my father bello"ed(
) "as surprised( ) couldn.t belie%e my ears( Why "ould he deny me this
"onderful opportunity( ) burst out crying, and ran to my room( ) o%erheard my father
e#plain to my mother that, ;This family doesn.t take charity from anyone( )f my daughter
"ants to go to Curope, it.s my responsibility to pay for it for her( We.re not taking any
hand-outs0.
)t "asn.t about Curope, 5r( Tucker(((it "as about us being together, my friend
and )( ) "as still in my room, lying on my bed crying, "hen my $randmother came o%er
for a %isit( 1he came into my room, and asked me, "hat "as the matter9 When )
e#plained, she said, ;+h, dear, ) can fi# that.(
'o"9! ) "anted to kno"( $randma said, ;ll you ha%e to do is pray, and ask
$od to change your father.s mind(((and $od "ill0. she declared, cheerily( 1o, ) did( ) got
do"n on my knees ne#t to the bed, and prayed %ery hard for my father to relent, and let
me go(
Then, ) *umped up, and ran into the li%ing room, and asked my father if he had
changed his mind9 ;No,. "as his response, and, ;nd if you ask again, ).ll ground you
for the 1ummer0. gain, ) "as de%astated, and burst out crying again, and ran back to my
bedroom(
$randma said she couldn.t understand it( 1he said it al"ays "orked for her(
Then she asked me, ;Dear, let.s re%ie" this( /irst you knelt, and prayed, and asked $od
to change your father.s mind, right9. ) said yes( Then she said, ;(((and then you said --
Thank 8ou -- right9.
No((() didn.t say ;Thank you., ) told her( Why "ould )9 $od hadn.t done it yet(!
;+h, dear, you must say ;Thank 8ou., so that $od kno"s that you understand
that $od has already granted your "ish( 8ou see, $od can only gi%e you a miracle if you
kno" that $od already has0.
Well, 5r( Tucker, ) got right back do"n on my knees, and prayed again, and this
time "hen ) finished my prayer, ) said ;Thank 8ou.( t that moment, ) felt like a great
"eight "as lifted from my shoulders(((and ) "as at peace( ) *ust kne" that ) didn.t ha%e
to rush out and see if father had changed his mind( 1omeho", ) *ust knew in my heart
that it "ould all "ork out(((some "ay( t that moment, my bedroom door opened, and
my father came in, and said that he had changed his mind(((that ) could go, after all( )
ne%er forgot that lesson, 5r( Tucker,! she smiled(
) got chills o%er that beautiful story( ) thanked her for sharing( 1he thanked me
for my understanding( 1he came back to "ork the ne#t day(
3epre&&ion
+ne night around 11200pm, ) got a phone call from an old Na%y buddy of mine(
,ill, ) need your help( ).m only a fe" blocks a"ay from your home( 5ay ) stop o%er9!
) assured him that he could( fe" minutes later he arri%ed at my door( ) "as
really surprised, because it "asn.t like ,ob to call so late so une#pectedly(
$etting settled do"n in our chairs, ,ob e#plained the reason for his une#pected
late night %isit( )t seemed that he had a friend "ho li%ed in the neighborhood ne#t to my
subdi%ision( 'e said that his friend "as depressed, and he "ondered if ) "ould go o%er
to the man.s house "ith him, and help him help his friend out of his depression(
) said ) "ould be glad to do anything ) could, but that ) "asn.t sure there "as
anything ) could do( ,ob e#plained that he "as %ery "orried about his friend( 'is "ife
of 2H years had left him, and he "as %ery depressed(
'e "ent on to say that his friend had a %ery highly placed e#ecuti%e position, and
made a lot of money(
,ut then, he lost his *ob, and he immediately sank deeper into depression( 'e
*ust sat at home staring out the "indo"( 'e "ent through all of his money( ,ob "as
%ery concerned about him, and particularly that he "asn.t taking any action to sol%e his
problem(
'e has sunk far lo"er since that, and ).m afraid that.s he.s suicidal( 5ight e%en
be tonight( 'e.s about to lose his home, and ) think that fact is pushing him o%er the
edge( 'is career is o%er, his children are gro"n, and his "ife is gone fore%er( 'e feels he
has no reason to go on li%ing( 1o, ) dro%e o%er here as fast as ) could( ,ut, ,ill, ) really
don.t kno" "hat ) can possibly say that "ill snap him out of it( Then ) thought of you(
8ou.%e been through this, and you made it back(((so, ) thought maybe you could help(!
) reemphasi&ed "ith ,ob that ) didn.t really kno" "hat to do, either( 5y
e#perience had taught me that you can.t *ust simply tell somebody to stop being
depressed( ) kne" that depression "as caused by a person ha%ing enormous anger inside
of them, and then turning that anger in"ard on themsel%es, and blaming themsel%es for
"hat "as "rong( ) surmised that ,ob.s friend "as enormously angry at his firm for
ha%ing fired him, but then had turned on himself, and "as blaming himself for ha%ing
gotten fired, or at least, for not ha%ing seen the "arning signs, and taken remedial action
to pre%ent his o"n firing(
) kne" from e#perience that you can.t *ust tell this e#planation to a depressed
person and e#pect them to accept it, understand it, and snap out of it( )f you do, they "ill
argue "ith you( They "ill go to great lengths to con%ince you of "hat they are already
con%inced(((that they are a ;loser., and, there is nothing that can be done about it( 8ou
can argue "ith them, pointing out all of the good things they ha%e accomplished "ith
their li%es, but they "ill find fault "ith e%ery good thing they e%er did, and argue back(
They are, usually, intractable on the sub*ect of "hat a rotten, "orthless person they are(
) "racked my brain for ho" ) might be able to help( What does "ork "ith a
depressed person9! ) asked myself( ) "ent back o%er my "ife.s depression, and my
depression, caused by that( ) couldn.t come up "ith anything(
) should ha%e remembered that ;anger, e#pressed. is a %iable solution(((at least it
"as in my case( ,ut, that "asn.t the trigger!( The trigger "as "hen ) remembered
something ) had accomplished that ) couldn.t t"ist into something ugly, no matter ho"
hard ) tried( ,ut, ) didn.t kno" ,ob.s friend, at all, so "hat could ) ha%e possibly come
up "ith9 The one thing ) am fairly certain of, "as that the anger-to-be-e#pressed did not
necessarily ha%e to be the causal anger being held inside, and tormenting the person( ny
anger e#pressed out"ard, ) had found in managing my direct commission salesmen o%er
the years, had an immediate effect of returning the person to a position of self-
confidence(((and, then they seemed to be e-uipped to deal "ith the original problem(
1o, the best t"o solutions ) kne" of -- to make the person angry enough to ;fight
back., or ask a series of easily-ans"ered 1ocratic Muestions -- escaped me( t this
moment in time, 112G0 that night, ) didn.t remember any of this(
,ob and ) got in his car, and dro%e o%er to his friend.s home( )t "as all dark( )
asked ,ob if his friend kne" "e "ere coming, and ,ob said, No!( ) said a silent prayer
to $od as "e got out of ,ob.s car( 6lease, /ather, help us to help ,ob.s friend find his
"ay back(! Then ) added, Thank you0!
We rang the doorbell(((and "aited( C%entually, the door mo%ed open, slo"ly(
There, standing in the dark, "as a gentleman in his late E0.s( 'e "as all dishe%eled( 'is
hair "as uncombed, and he "as unsha%en for se%eral days, and it appeared as if had not
been bathing, either( 'e "as dressed in a bathrobe( nd, he looked depressed( 'e *ust
stared at us( ,ob broke the ice, 'i, 5aury <not his real name=, ho".re ya. doin.9 This is
my friend, ,ill( 5ay "e come in9!
;5aury. stepped silently back"ard, "idening the door( We stepped in( 5aury led
us through the darkened house to a sunken den in the back( We took chairs, but 5aury
*ust plopped do"n on the three steps that led do"n into the room( We all looked at each
other "ithout speaking(
Well, 5aury,! ,ob started, my friend, ,ill, here, has been "here you are( 'e
"as fired from his *ob, too( nd, he lost his "ife( 1he died( 'e "ent through some
tough times, *ust as you are, and ) "anted you to meet him(((since you both ha%e so much
in common(!
No response from 5aury( 'e *ust stared straight ahead, not e%en focusing on
either one of us( That.s a usual sign that one is absolutely immersed in self-pity, and has
pretty much gi%en up(
,ill, tell 5aury about "hat you "ent through, and ho" $od helped you out of
it,! ,ob said(
) "as at a loss( ) "as as scared as ,ob "as that this "as probably one of 5aury.s
final moments( The responsibility of it "as o%er"helming, and my brain locked up( The
enormity of the situation "as defeating me( ) remember stammering, starting to tell
5aury about my "ife, and her ordeal, but from there, my memory fails me( ) *ust
remember being %ery an#ious, and blurting out anything, and e%erything, ) could think
of(((not kno"ing if ) "as saying the right things, or not( ) spoke of my "ife, and of my
e#perience disco%ering $od( ) *ust rambled( ) "ould pause e%ery once in a "hile, and try
to get a reaction from 5aury, but ) could not( 'e *ust sat there, as if a fro&en statue(
When ) ran out of things to say, ,ob "ould pick up "here ) left off, and he "ould
*ust ramble( Then, "hen he couldn.t think of anything more to say, ) started o%er again,
and *ust rambled( ) sensed that "e "ere doing(((saying(((nothing right( ,ut, "e didn.t
kno" "hat else to do( 5y 1ocratic training had totally failed me( ) should ha%e been
asking him perception-raising -uestions(((or, ) could ha%e been challenging him to make
him angry, and get the lie inside of him, out( ,ut, ).m sorry to ha%e to say, ) could think
of none of it( ) think ) "as panicky, too, as "as ,ob(
We talked, and talked, and talked for hours( 5aury *ust sat there the entire time
staring straight ahead( C%entually, there "as nothing more that could be said( 1o, "e
thanked 5aury for ha%ing us o%er( 'e then stood up, turned, and "alked back to the
front door of his home, "ith us in to"( 'e opened the door, and "e "alked out( 1ilently,
he closed the door behind us( 'e ne%er said a "ord the entire time "e "ere there(
1ubse-uently ,ob mo%ed E00 miles North, so "e rarely talked anymore( When
"e did talk on the phone long distance, the sub*ect of 5aury ne%er came up( ) guess )
"as afraid to ask(
8ears passed( +ne e%ening ) attended a surprise birthday party ,ob.s "ife thre"
for him at a local hotel( 1ince most of ,ob.s old friends li%ed do"n here, she had rented
a party room at the hotel, and sent out in%itations, unbekno"nst to ,ob, as it "as to be a
total surprise(
When ,ob, and his "ife ?ayne "alked in, ?ayne thre" on the lights, and e%eryone
shouted 1urprise0!( ,ob "as totally taken aback( The laughter broke out, and people
started to mi#( t one point in the e%ening, "e all formed a circle around ,ob, "ho sat in
a chair in the middle of the room to open up the gag gifts "e had gi%en him( 1ince he
"as J0 years old that year, ) ga%e him a giant toothless comb(
While "e "ere standing, and laughing, as ,ob opened his gag gifts, ) became
uncomfortably a"are that the man standing ne#t to me "as staring at me( 'is ga&e "as
constant( /inally unable to contend "ith this another moment, ) turned to him, and said
brus-uely, 7an ) help you90!
Don.t you remember me, ,ill9! the stranger asked( ) looked him o%er( Nice
suit, "ell-groomed, gentlemanly in demeanor, a touch of gray at the temples( No, ) didn.t
recogni&e him(
$ee, ).m sorry( No, ) don.t,! ) replied(
).m 5aury,! he said( 8ou %isited me one night se%eral years ago at my
home((("ith ,ob( ) "as pretty depressed that night(((remember no"9!
+h, yes, 5aury0! ) e#claimed "arming up to him no"( 'o" are you doing9!
8ou probably don.t kno" it, but you and ,ob sa%ed my life that night( ) had
determined that "as going to be the night "hen ) ended it all,! he said( ,ut, that night, )
;"oke up. and reali&ed that ) had to fight back(!
'ey, that "asn.t me or ,ob, 6ard.ner( *hat "as The ,ig $uy "orking in your
life0! ) replied(
Don.t ) kno" that0! he said( ) can.t e%en remember one "ord either you or ,ob
spoke that night( ,ut, "hat did get through to me, "as the kindness( ) sa" that as ;pity.,
and it a"akened a self-disgust in me( ) had finally hit rock-bottom( ) asked myself,
What the hell am ) doing to myself here90! No matter ho" badly ) felt about myself, )
kne" that ) "as better than this <current state of ;defeatism.=( ) got angry "ith myself,
and decided that "as *ust enough0 ) didn.t kno" if ) could be successful, but at least )
stopped asking myself that -uestion( ) determined that anything ) tried, e%en if it resulted
in failure, "as better than not trying at all0
) reali&ed that ) "as *ust doing that to myself( fter you guys left that night, ) got my act
together( ) took a sho"er the ne#t morning, sha%ed and got dressed up( ) "ent out, and
"orked at finding a *ob( ) "as able to e%entually find a ne" *ob, and a ne" "ife( Thank
you for that(!
No,! ) said, Thank you( 8ou *ust made my day( ) "as only too happy to be
there for you, as others ha%e been there for me( ,ut, truthfully(((it "asn.t me, or ,ob(((it
"as you(((and, ) belie%e, "ith an insight pro%ided by $od(!
That.s right( 8ou and ,ob "ere *ust the instrument $od decided to use that
night,! he said( ) "as humbled to think that ) could ha%e been an instrument that $od
used to reach 5aury(
Chapter 11
The 7ropertie& of $ira%le&
7aral.&i& &tri+e&
When my eldest daughter, 6amela, "as F years old, she spied her $randfatherOs
%iolin decorating our bookshelf( 1he asked to see it( ) e#plained that it "as not a ;toy.,
but that ) "ould sho" her ho" it ;"orked.( ) dre" the bo" across the strings, making a
sound like killing a cat( 1he sco"led, and protested that couldnOt possibly be the "ay it
"as supposed to sound0 greeing "ith her, ) handed it to her, and said, N+kay, letOs see
"hat you can do0N
The s"eetest sounds emanated from the old relic( 1he asked if she could take it to
her room for a "hile, and ) agreed( 1he returned fi%e minutes later, and played a song she
had heard on the radio0 1he played it by ear, and from memory, and it "as fla"less0 )
*ust stood in utter ama&ement0 +b%iously, this child had a $ift from $od0 /rom that
moment on, the %iolin consumed her( 6laying it professionally "as to be her career goal(
'er $randfather had aspirations of being a concert %iolinist "hen he "as in high
school, but World War )) came along, and his N+ld WorldN father, fearing for his son.s
life, ordered that he not enlist( When he ran off to the army to be a 1ergeant in the "ar,
his father confiscated his %iolin, and declared that he "as ne%er to play it again, "ithout
his e#press permission((("hich he ne%er ga%e0
+f course my step-father "as obedient, and hoped that his father "ould relent, but
"hen $randfather died "ithout retracting Nhis "ordN, that sealed my fatherOs doom,
"here the instrument "as concerned( No amount of e#plaining that $randfather "ould
ha%e released him from his bond on his deathbed had step-father been there "as
persuasi%e( 1ubse-uently, he "anted me to study the instrument, but ) ha%e trouble
playing any musical instrument, including the radio0
Well, 6amela "on /irst 7hair in e%ery orchestra from grade school through high
school, e%ery year( When she got to college, she placed Fth 7hair, /irst 1trings(
1ome"hat of a let do"n for her, but not bad for a college /reshman competing "ith
?uniors and 1eniors for placement(
nd, then the unthinkable happened( +ne night, she couldn.t hold her food do"n,
so ) rushed her to the emergency room, not kno"ing "hat "as "rong( They diagnosed
the flu, and ga%e her penicillin( When "e got home, she started to feel a numbness come
o%er her legs( 1he couldn.t s"allo", and her speech "as slurred( 1he began to cry(
When she attempted to "alk to her bedroom, her legs ga%e out, so ) helped her there( 1he
"as so scared, "e "ent back to the emergency room( They thought her symptoms "ere
due to an allergic reaction to the penicillin, and ga%e her a different medicine, and "e
"ent home, again(
The ne#t morning, as ) arose and "as getting dressed, ) heard her scream from her
bedroom( ) rushed in, to see "hat "as the matter, and she *ust lay there in bed(
1he said, patting her face, NDad, my face is numb( ) ha%e no feeling in it(N
NWell, get up and get dressed,N ) urged, and rushed back to my bedroom, to finish
getting dressed( ) had no sooner slipped on my shirt, "hen she screamed again0
>ushing back, she e#claimed, N?ust about my entire body is numb0!
N'old on, until ) get my shoes on,N ) said, and rushed back to my bedroom(
?ust as ) finished, she screamed again0 N)Om totally paraly&ed(((can.t e%en "iggle
my toes,N she said, panic no" in her %oice( )t all happened so fast((("ithin minutes( )
scooped her up, and carried her to the car( We sped to 1t( @ukes 'ospitalOs Cmergency
>oom(
They tested her and tested her, and finally, hours later, said, NWe cannot disco%er
"hat is "rong "ith her( We need to call in a neurological specialist(N
) said, NDo it0 'ang the e#pense0 $et the %ery best Neurologist in merica, but,
please, help my little girl0N
NWell, the e#pense, for the best, "ill be pretty high,N they said( N7an you afford
it9N
NC#pense be damnedN ) declared( N)Oll sell my house if ) ha%e to0N
fe" days and much testing later, the Neurologist told me, N8our daughter has
$uillian ,erre 1yndrome, a %ery rare form of mononucleosis, a condition that can follo"
a %irus if the immune system is not %ery strong( :sually OmonoO *ust slo"s them do"n for
a short period, but $uillian ,erre is -uite something different(N
N) donOt care "hat it takes, or "hat it costs, Doctor,N ) said, N?ust, please, help my
little girl0N
N)Om sorry,N he said, Nbut there is nothing medical science can do( There is no
treatment, nor medicine that can help her0N
NW+A*90N ) e#claimed, N8ou mean she "ill be paraly&ed F#0!1!090N
N+h, no, not necessarily,N he e#plained( N:sually, the symptoms start to re%erse
themsel%es, and the cure takes place automatically, *ust like the paralysis came(N
N'o" long does that take, Doctor9N ) asked(
NWell, it depends upon ho" se%ere the case is(((and, ).m sorry to say that your
daughter has a %ery se%ere case(((so )Od estimate that sheOll be "ith us, here in the hospital,
for about the ne#t si# years,N he said(
NS&6 "!A0S90N ) hollered( N) canOt afford a daily hospital bed for six years0 )
donOt e%en ha%e health insurance( Why, at your daily room rates alone, my house "ill be
gone the first year0 Then "hat90 7anOt ) take care of her needs at home9N
N+h, no, )Om afraid not( 8ou see, the paralysis is only affecting her outer body at
present(((but, should it seep inside, and free&e her heart, or lungs, sheOd be dead in
minutes( 'ere in the hospital, "e could instantly put her on a heart-lung machine, and
"ork those organs for her, if it gets to that point, until she starts the reco%ery process,
keeping her ali%e,N he said(
) "as stunned( ny hope for my daughter seemed((("ell(((gone( T"o thoughts
shot through my mind( The first "as to "onder if their "as any social security or
go%ernment financial help for her, once ) "as flat busted broke( The second "as to fall
back on my faith, and my understanding of ho" to get miracles from $od(
) asked the doctor, NWhat is the fastest anybody has e%er turned around, "ith
$uillian ,erre, Doc9N
NWell, first you ha%e to understand that this is a %ery rare disease, so "e donOt
ha%e a lot of e#perience "ith it( ,ut, ) did read that there "as a preteen boy in Curope at
the turn of the century "ho had a %ery mild case, and he re%ersed in G0 days(N
N+nce they re%erse, and return to normal, they ha%e full de#terity of their limbs,
right9N
N+h, no(N the doctor said, NThey usually return to about H0Q of normal de#terity(N
N+h, Doctor, thatOs *ust impossible0N ) e#claimed( N8ou donOt understand( 5y
daughter is a %iolinist( The %iolin is the focus of her life0 )t "ould break her heart if she
couldnOt play the %iolin( nd, e%en at 100Q de#terity, sheOs got an uphill battle,
competing "ith all of the other %iolinists out there trying to make a li%ing from their
instrument0N
N5r( Tucker, )Om sorry to ha%e to be the one to tell you this, but(((your daughter
"ill ne%er play the %iolin again(N
That tore it( ) couldnOt allo" that to be( ) had no choice but to turn to my faith(
No", ) do not ascribe to any Nfaith-healingN religion( ,ut, ) had many, many e#periences,
up to this point in my life, getting $od.s miracles, on demand0 $od *ust had to kick in
once again, for my daughterOs sake000
+h, itOs true enough that ) didnOt always ha%e my miracle re-uests fulfilled(((but, )
had ne%er failed to get one "hen ) "as desperate, and my ;back "as against the "all.,
and there "as no"here else to turn(
) turned to the doctor, looked him s-uare in the eye, and declared, NDoctor0 5y
daughter is "alking out of here in G0 days, 100Q cured, and she will play the %iolin
again0N
N8ouOre not going to tell her that, are you90N he e#claimed(
N+f course, ) am( Why "ouldnOt )90N ) replied(
NWell, thatOs *ust terrible0N he said, %isibly upset( N8ouOd be the meanest parent in
the "orld if you misled her like that( Why, in G0 days, "hen she still has sho"n no
impro%ement, sheOll be heart-broken, and could lose the "ill to li%e0 8ouOd be responsible
for that0N
NDoctor,N ) said, N8ou ha%e )# idea "hat you are dealing "ith0 )f you canOt get
aboard my Omiracle trainO, then step aside0 ) "ill not ha%e you interfering0 /irst of all, )
donOt need to tell my daughter anythin about $od.s miracles( 1he has a deeper, and
more abiding faith, than ) do0 1he already kno"s itOs a Odone dealO( 'ear me, and hear me
good, Doctor(((my daughter W&'' "alk out of here in G0 days(((and she W&'' be 100Q
back to normal(((and she W&'' play the %iolin AGA&)0N ) announced, as %ehemently as )
could(
C%ery day after that, ) "ould call the doctor at his office, *ust before his noon
lunch break, for a progress report( nd e%ery day he "ould say, NNo changeN( This "ent
on day, after day, after day for "eeks( The only difference ) could detect "as, that "ith
each passing day, his %oice gre" -uieter and -uieter(((almost as if he had hoped ) "as
right(((but "as losing hope "ith each passing day( )n fact, a couple of times he "ould say
things like, N5r( Tucker, )Om afraid that this case is e%en "orse than ) thought( ) think
youOd better prepare yourself for the "orst(N
When he "ould say that, ) "ould get %ery upset "ith him, and remind him,
NDoctor0 Where is your faith90 )Om telling you again, get off my miracle0 )f you canOt
think positi%e((()f you canOt believe in advance that a miracle is absolutely coming by the
end of the month, then get out of the "ay( ) "ill not ha%e you infecting our faith here
"ith defeatism0 5y daughter will "alk out of your hospital 12 days from no", and she
will be 100Q normal, and she W&'' play the %iolin, professionally, AGA&)0N
+n the 2Jth day after 6amela had contracted the disease, her doctor called me at
my office( 'is %oice "as unbelie%ably e#cited, and the "ords came out in a rush, N5r(
Tucker0 8ou "onOt belie%e it0 )tOs a miracle0N he e#claimed(
N+f course ) "ill, Doctor, and, of course it is0N ) replied(
NNo, No, @isten0 8our daughter(((N the doctor "as gulping for air, N)tOs((()tOs a
M&0AC'!0 1heOs re%ersing by leaps and bounds0N
N+f course, she is(N ) replied calmly( ) "asnOt e#cited( fter all, "hat for9 This
"as not Nne"sN to me0 ) knew this "ould happen to the core of my being0 nd, that "as
the secret0 ) kne" -- in ad%ance -- that $od "ould not let us do"n( ) knew this miracle
had already happened( No", "e "ere *ust e#periencing it on the date "e e#pected(
/i%e days later, a totally mystified neurologist called me and said, NWeOre
releasing your daughter from the hospital today( Technically, ) think sheOs 100Q
reco%ered, but sheOll need some therapy because she still has some numbness that "e can
"ork out(N
NThank you, Doctor,N ) replied( Then, N) hope you learned something from all of
this( Ne%er -uestion the po"er of absolute faith(N There "as silence on the other end of
the phone( Then, he said, N'onestly, ) donOt kno" "hat to make of this(((ne%er seen
anything -uite like it((() ha%e no e#planation((((N he trailed off(
NDoctor,N ) said, N8ou ha%e eyes, but you do not see( 8ou ha%e ears, but you do
not hear(N
+f course, 6amela "ent to physical therapy after that( ,ut, "hen she auditioned
for orchestra re-placement at the :ni%ersity of Wisconsin- 5il"aukee, she earned 1st
7hair, /irst 1trings0
Today, 6amela is a professional %iolinist(
Can%er Stri+e&
)f ) kno" the NprocedureN for getting a miracle, "hy, you may ask, do ) not get all
of my miracle re-uests fulfilled9 1imply, because ) am as human as the ne#t guy, fraught
"ith fear and self-doubt, and lose myself to "orry and an#iety(((e%en though ) kno", in
my heart, that this is the Ngreat un-doingN( 'o"e%er, "hen ) ha%e needed a great big
miracle in my life, and there "as absolutely nothing ) could do about the circumstance, )
had to go to The /ather and put it all in 'is hands0
+ne such occasion "as the day in /ebruary of 1DD0 "hen ) got a phone call from
my mother, from 1t( 5aryOs 'ospital( N8ou ha%e to get o%er here to the hospital, right
a"ay0N she pleaded(
NWhatOs the problem9N ) asked(
N8our father "as feeling poorly, so, ) brought him into the emergency room, and
they refuse to talk to me "ithout you here0N she said(
) immediately *umped in my car, and sped o%er to 1t( 5aryOs( They sent me do"n
to the +ncology Department( t the time, ) didnOt kno" that N+ncologyN "as the cancer
"ard( 5y mother took me to the doctor, and ) asked him "hy he "ouldnOt talk to my
mother(
N,ecause ) ha%e %ery bad ne"s, and ) "anted a family member here, for her
support, "hen ) break the ne"s about your father(N
N+kay,N ) said, NWhatOs the problem9N
N6ut your arms around your motherOs shoulders, and hold her tight,N he said, as )
did so( N8our father is dying of cancer(((and "e can do nothing for him(N t that, my
mother screamed, and started to faint( ,ut, ) held her up(
N)snOt there somethin you can do, Doctor9N my mother pleaded(
N)Om sorry, but heOs been smoking for o%er J0 years, and H0Q of both lungs are
gone( We canOt radiate because the amount of radiation, and the area "eOd ha%e to co%er,
"ould kill off all of his other %ital organs( 5oreo%er, "e canOt gi%e chemotherapy
because, again, the amount of chemo needed "ould most likely kill him, and all "eOd
accomplish "ould be to make him sick and miserable for his final days( nd, "e canOt
operate, because "eOd ha%e to remo%e both lungs entirely, and heOd ha%e nothing left to
breathe "ith(N
N'o" much longer does he ha%e, Doctor9N my mother "as an#ious no", looking
for any ray of hope(
N'e "onOt see si# months((((N the doctor said hesitatingly, and nodded to me to
hold her once again( ) understood that more bad ne"s "as coming(
NDoctor,N my mother pleaded once again, NWe ha%e been planning a %acation to
/lorida for ?uly( Will he be able to go9N
N) donOt think you understand,N he said, N8our husband "ill not see ?uly0N
5y mother turned to me "ide-eyed, as if confused by "hat she "as hearing(
NWhat is he saying, ,ill9N
NThe doctor is trying to tell you, as gently as possible, 5om, that dad is going to
die a "hole lot sooner than si# months(N t this, she screamed again, and, slumped to the
floor, and did faint in my arms( 1melling salts brought her around(
Sisibly shaking, she asked, N'o" much longer does he ha%e, Doctor9N ) nodded
that it "as okay to tell her(
NWell(((itOs impossible to predict(((of course(((but ) donOt think he "ill still be "ith
us three "eeks from no",N then, he hurriedly said, Nbut "e can gi%e him something for
the pain( WeOll probably gi%e him some radiation, but it "onOt be enough to make a
difference(N
t that my mother turned to me, and said, N) kno" that you ha%e a special
relationship "ith $od, 1on0 8ou must sa%e your father0N
N'ey, 5om,N ) said( N)Om not ?esus 7hrist0 What can ) do9N
N) kno" ho" you brought your daughter back from total paralysis in miraculous
time,N she said( Nnd, ) kno" about the millions of dollars youO%e gotten through prayer0
No", you must cure your father0N she insisted(
1o, ) turned to the doctor and said, N+kay( 5y father is all cured no"( 'e "onOt
die( 'is cancer is gone0N
The doctor stared at me, bug-eyed, his mouth dropped open, as if ) "as cra&y(
NDenial isnOt going to help matters here, 1on,N he replied( N8our father is not
going to last out the month0N
NDoctor, you ha%e no idea "hat you are dealing "ith here, but )Om telling you, my
father is cured of his cancer(N nd, "ith that, my mother, and ), left the hospital( ) put
the matter out of my mind( 1ince it "as a Odone dealO, ) had no reason to think about it,
ask again, or N"orryN "hether it "ould come true or not( ) kne" the miracle had already
taken place, "hether any of us could see the physical e%idence of it, or not0
They ga%e my father some radiation(((actually, surprisingly little, ) thought(((a
little shot e%ery si# "eeks for a couple of months( 'e lingered on( )t might be more
descripti%e to say that he Nlimped alongN( )n ?uly, "ith dad still pretty sick, my parents
"ent on their /lorida %acation(
)n +ctober, ) "as recalled to Na%y acti%e duty, since ) "as a 7ommander in the
Na%al >eser%e, for N+peration2Desert 1hieldN, the precursor to NDesert 1tormN( The
Na%y sent me to 7hicago, to back-fill for another 7ommander, "ho "as sent to 1audi
rabia(
t the end of /ebruary, 1DD1, *ust after the J-day ground "ar ended, ) got a phone
call at my Na%y office( )t "as my fatherOs +ncologist(
N7ommander Tucker(((from 5il"aukee9! he asked hesitatingly(
N8es, this is ,ill Tucker,N ) responded(
NThank $od0 )O%e been calling all o%er the Na%y, trying to track you do"n0N he
said( N8ouOre not going to belie%e this but((((N
N+f course ) "ill, Doctor,N ) replied before he could finish(
NNo, No, @isten0 8ou.re not going to belie%e this, but, your father((('is cancer is
all gone0 'eOs cured0 )tOs a miracle0N he rushed the "ords out(
N+f course, it is, Doctor,N ) replied, NWhere ha%e you been9 )t happened a year
ago, last /ebruary, there at the hospital0N
NWhat9N he asked, N) donOt follo"((((N
NDoctor, "hat you ha%e *ust e#perienced is a miracle( DonOt you remember "hen )
told you that my father "as cured9N ) chided him(
N+h, yeah, but ) mean, this is the miracle0((() donOt kno" "hat else to call it0N he
said, clearly not catching on(
5y father "ent to "ork regularly for the ne#t F years( Then one day, he fell ill
again( We took him back to the hospital, but 7olumbia 'ospital, this time, because his
doctor "orked out of both hospitals, and had directed us there(
When "e "alked in, his doctor, 7arl +lson, 5D! rushed up to greet us at the door,
and then, standing ne#t to my father, "ith his arm o%er his shoulders, turned around, and
announced to all of the staff "ithin hearing distance, N'ey, e%erybody0 'ere he is0 The
5iracle 5an0N The staff, apparently a"are of the stories told around the hospital about
my fatherOs miraculous cure, broke out in applause(
fter completing his physical check of my father, the doctor called me in to
consult( NWell, )Om afraid heOs had it this time,N he said de*ectedly( NThis time heOs got oat
cell, or commonly called Osmall cellO cancer, and thatOs the "orst kind( )t gro"s very
rapidly and is the most resistant to treatment(N
NNot to "orry, Doctor,N ) said, N'eOs already cured of it(N
The doctor stared at me silently, his eyebro"s knitting together in a sco"l as if
pondering my "ords( Then, hesitatingly, N)(((donOt(((think(((so((((this(((time,N he said
studiously(
) laughed out loud( N8ou didnOt think so last time, either, Doc( What do you think
about $od has changed9N
N'ey0N he e#claimed, N)Om not one to knock religion( Whate%er "orks is my
motto0 ,ut, lots of people ha%e faith, and $od doesnOt cure all of them of cancer(N
N5aybe theyOre not asking $od to, Doctor( Did you e%er think of that9 5aybe
theyOre *ust OfatalistsO and donOt bother $od "ith such a re-uest because they belie%e in
O/ateO( +r, maybe they ask, but in their heart, they doubt that $od "ill come through(
That "ould certainly un-do it( ,ut, look into my eyes, Doctor( Do you see any doubt in
me, or in my con%iction90N
NWell, "eOll *ust ha%e to "ait and see((((N he trailed off(
NThat doesnOt sound like a statement of con%iction to me, Doctor0 8ou see, one
has to kno" -- absolutely %)#W -- in advance -- that the miracle has already
happened(((or it canOt happen0N ) e#plained(
The follo"ing "eek the doctor told us that the oat cell cancer had disappeared0
'e "atched, in a"e, as "e "alked out of the hospital(
"eek later, dad "as back( The oat cell cancer had returned( +nce again ) made
my prayer, and the follo"ing "eek dad "as declared clear of cancer again( Then a fe"
"eeks later it came back, yet again( We "ere becoming regular %isitors to 7olumbia
'ospital(
With each returning bout, the cancer seemed to take more and more out of my
father( 'is legs s"elled up, so he could hardly get around anymore( 'is breathing "as
%ery labored( ) could tell he "as miserable( +%er the follo"ing se%en months, the cancer
kept disappearing, and then returning, once again( ) began to feel guilty, as if ) "as
interfering "ith some greater hea%enly scheme( ) asked $od, N'o" long shall he li%e9
1hall ) keep this re-uest up fore%er9 ) surely donOt "ant him suffering like this9N Then it
came to me( )t "asnOt my call( )t "asnOt my life( )t "asnOt my responsibility( )t "as
DadOs(((and $odOs( 1o ) said to $od, N6lease keep him "ith us as long as possible, but,
"hen it is 8our time, and his time, please, take him gently(N
5y father had asked the doctor, during his ne#t %isit, if he could help him stay
ali%e for a fe" more "eeks( N)tOs our J0th Wedding nni%ersary, Doctor, and )Od sure like
to celebrate it "ith my lo%ing "ife(N
The doctor looked beyond dad, to me( ) nodded that it "as okay to humor him(
The doctor said, N)Oll do my best0N and then he smiled at my father( Three "eeks later "e
all celebrated my parents. J0th "edding anni%ersary(
5y father "as no" house-bound, and pretty much bed-ridden, his s"ollen legs
hurt him so much( +ne day, soon after their anni%ersary, "hile trying to get up to go to
the bathroom, he fell do"n, and broke his glasses( ) helped him back up on the edge of
the bed( 'e looked up at me "ith the most sorro"ful eyes and, crying, said, N6lease, 1on,
let me go( )tOs my time( ) donOt "ant to li%e in pain anymore( @et me die(N
) looked hea%en"ard and thought, NWe lo%e this man so, but "e donOt "ant to
keep him beyond his "ill to li%e( $od, Thy Will be done(N
We had to take him back to the hospital then( 'e passed a"ay a fe" hours later(
When i& it &o#eone>& ti#e to =go? ho#e to (ea,en@
1hortly after my father "as cured of his cancer the first time, a friend called me,
and asked me to come to the bedside %igil of his dying mother( ) rushed o%er to the
hospital( Do&ens of his, and his mother.s friends and family, "ere huddled in the corridor
outside of her room, as the doctor attended to her inside( ) met a be%y of long, sad faces(
)t appeared as if they "ere taking the "ord of the professional -- the doctor -- that all "as
lost( 5y friend dre" me aside( ) kno" of your e#perience "ith miracles( Would you be
so kind as to pray for my mother9!
) "ould be honored to do so( nd, please, if "e all pray for the same miracle, it
happens *ust that much faster,! ) ans"ered(
We all bo"ed our heads re%erently, and prayed, fer%ently( We held %igil for
hours, out in that corridor( The doctor had said she "ouldn.t last through the night(
C%eryone looked "orried(
t about ten minutes to 2200 am, my friend and ) decided to call it a night( We
"alked through the hospital.s corridors, and out into the street( We stopped at the curb(
'e said his car "as parked at the Cast end of the lot, "hile ) noted that ) "as parked at the
other end( We turned, and shook hands to part( 'e thanked me profusely for ha%ing
come( ) smiled( nytime( +nly to glad to be here "ith you,! ) replied(
nd then(((as he turned to "alk to his car, he said, +h "ell(((she had a nice
life((((! ) could feel my heart break, and the hot tears "elled up in my eyes in the cold
"inter air as ) "atched him recede into the distance to"ard his car( ) kne" at that
moment that she "as gone( The ne#t morning "e found out that she died at that e#act
moment(
) guess she "as supposed to( t least, that.s "hat e%eryone seemed to belie%e(
What is a =$ira%le?
) think it may be appropriate, no", to discuss *ust "hat a miracle is, and "hat it
means to Nask correctlyN(((from my perspecti%e, from my personal e#perience( ) "ould
define a NmiracleN as a great, big, NfreebieN( 1omething beyond the realm of the
Nkno"nN( )n other "ords, an e%ent that happens that defies logic, or goes against "hat
scientists call the ;"orld of natural order.(
@et me gi%e you an e#ample of "hat ) define as a miracle!( )n this particular
miracle ) am referring to, my son, then age 12 "as getting in my car, "hich "as a E-door
sedan( 8ou kno", the kind that has metal framing around the "indo"( Well, my son
5atthe" had his left hand on the top of the door, and pulled the door shut "ith his right
hand slamming the door closed "ith his left hand caught bet"een the car frame and door
frame( ,oth 5att and ) heard the door click shut( 5att screamed in fear, and ),
immediately seeing "hat had happened, reached across my son and pulled the door
handle springing the door back open( ) e#pected to see a mangled, bloodied stump for a
hand( ,ut, miraculously, 5att.s hand didn.t ha%e a scratch0 We sat there in the car,
ama&ed, for a fe" minutes( Then ) tried to close the door on my o"n hand to see if there
"as any gi%e at all( The closest ) could close the door "as to "ithin only one inch of
closing0 There "as absolutely no space bet"een the door and "indo" frames( ) then
stuck a piece of paper in the door and closed it( +nce closed, ) tried to pull the paper
through the door( )t "ouldn.t budge( 'o" can this e#perience be e#plained9 )t had to be
a miracle0
We humans tend to think in terms of ;absolutes. and ;cause-and-effect.( We think
that certain things must happen in a logical, progressi%e order for other e%ents to follo"(
,ut, miracles are outside of that earthly understanding( )f "e get a NmiracleN -- some
"onderful une#plainable thing happens -- "e kno" Who is responsible( nd, "e Thank
$od0 1ome of us burn candles of thankfulness( 1ome rush to 7hurch to sho"
appropriate appreciation( 1ome "ho profess not to belie%e in $od or miracles, *ust smile,
and shrug their shoulders, and attribute it to Ngood luckN( nd, thatOs okay( ll of them
are NokayN( Whether "e choose to ackno"ledge $od, or miracles, ) think, doesnOt really
matter to $od( $odOs there, "hether "e choose to belie%e in $od or not, and $od "ill go
on about $od.s task of pro%iding for us, -uietly, lo%ingly(
,ut, ) belie%e, because ) ha%e e#perienced it, that it is possible for us to Nturn
a"ayN from a potential miracle by not belie%ing that $od hears us, and not belie%ing that
$od is sympathetic, and not belie%ing that $od is proacti%e in our li%es(
s has been noted, in 5ark 1122E, and ?ohn 12F and other places throughout the
+ld and Ne" Testaments, the message of $od.s lo%e is repeated o%er, and o%er, again(
The 5aster said, NTherefore ) tell you, "hate%er you ask in prayer, belie%e that you
recei%e it, and you "ill(N ,ut, 'e doesnOt stop there( 'e puts a couple of ca%eats on that
lesson that are also part of making a miracle happen, and they mustnOt be o%erlooked( 'e
continues, Nnd, "hene%er you stand praying, forgi%e, if you ha%e anything against any
oneB so that you /ather also "ho is in hea%en may forgi%e you your trespasses(N
) think that if "e skip any of the G parts of 'is promise to perform miracles in our
li%es, "e "ill be disappointed, and think that $od either doesnOt hear us, or doesnOt care to
ans"er our prayers( ,ut, "hat is the ob%erse of this NtheoryN9 )f "e (# do "hat $od
asks of us, could $od possibly )#* deli%er our miracles9 )f $od didnOt deli%er our
miracle re-uest, then either $od is a liar, or $od doesnOt e#ist( 1ince, neither is true, then
$od must deli%er our miracle to us, mustnOt $od9 fter all, $od promised( nd, as $od
says in $od.s NConversations With GodN books, and as the 5aster said on the 5ount, N+r
"hat man of you, if his son asks him for a loaf, "ill gi%e him a stone9((()f you
then(((kno" ho" to gi%e good gifts to your children, ho" much more "ill your /ather
"ho is in hea%en gi%e good things to those "ho ask him9N
nd, of course, since $od is ll @o%ing, $od "ould not, could not, refuse us(((if
"e truly -!'&!1!( )f "e take the position that "e %)#W is "hat has happened already0
,ut, of the G steps to a miracle, the hardest one for belie%ing! human beings
seems to be the second -- N,elie%ing in AdvanceN( When discussing this point "ith
friends, they ha%e told me, N+h, ) do belie%e0N 1o, ) ask them, N+kay, if you think you do
really, faithfully, and fully, do belie%e, then letOs ask $od to ha%e someone "alk into this
restaurant in the ne#t fi%e minutes, and lay a bag "ith one million dollars in it on the
table, and tell us itOs ours, "ith no strings attached( 1hall "e do this9N
) usually get a blank stare( No one, it seems, "ants to Ntest! $od to this degree(
fter all, if it doesnOt happen(((there may be )# G#(0 nd then, fear "ould con-uer all(
) am not making light of their faith( ) ha%e been "here they are, and, ) ha%e done this(
s you kno" no", ) asked $od to gi%e me a million dollars, free and clear, in a specific
1E day period( +n the 1Eth day after making my re-uest, a bank ave me one million
dollars( When they handed me the check, the bank president said, NNo", donOt "orry if
you lose our million dollars( We "onOt hold it against you( We do this all the time( 5ost
of these good ideas fail( ,ut, "hen the one that hits, hits, "eOre more than compensated
for the ones that donOt(N
1ince ) am the one "ho said to $od(((Nin 1E daysN, ho" else could that e%ent be
e#plained9 7hance9 @uck9 7oincidence9 8ou can belie%e "hat you like, but ) kno"
"hat ) belie%e0 When you can in%oke such NluckN on demand, ) "ill be happy to hear
ho" you did it(
When "e come to that moment of truth(((When "e must confront our NbeliefN in
ad%ance of Nhoping for a miracleN <NhopeN, by the "ay, "hich implies "eOre not really
sure=(((and it doesnOt happen(((Who is to blame9 Who is NinfallibleN9 Which of us -- us or
$od -- ne%er doubts9 s the old cartoon strip character 6ogo used to say, NWe ha%e met
the enemy, and they is usN(
1o, then, if "e are Nli%ing in fearN, and causing our o"n un-doing, ho" can "e
find Nperfect faith in ad%anceN9 ) ha%e a couple of suggestions as to ho" all of us can get
our miracles(
/irst, ) ha%e al"ays been able to Ntrust in $odN when ) had no"here else to turn,
and ) desperately needed a miracle(
1econd, ) found out from ;1usan., that if, after asking for something ) absolutely
need a miracle for(((if ) say, N*hank youN, ) feel a great "eight lift from my shoulders, as )
pass my NcaringN onto $od( fter all, "ho "ould say NThank youN unless the deed "as
already done90 nd then, ) put it out of my head( ) *ust forget about it, lest ) fall into that
all too-human trap of "orry!(
nd, third, ) ha%e a ne" understanding of *ust "hat a miracle is, after reading
Neale Donald Walsch.s N7on%ersations "ith $odN books( Think about this for a moment2
!verythin is a miracle( C%ery act, e%ery action, e%ery e%ent in our li%es is *ust as "e
-!'&!1! it "ill be0 )f "e ,C@)CSC our lo%ed one "ill be cured of cancer, they "ill be(
)f "e ,C@)CSC that they "onOt be cured of cancer, they won,t be0 )t is +:> ,C@)C/
that causes @@ to happen0 $od ans"ers @@ beliefs(((e%en the ones "e donOt think!
"e are asking! for(
8ou.%e heard the admonition, ;8ou get "hat you pray for, so be careful "hat you
pray for.( ) "ould suggest that "e modify that ;understanding. to, We get "hat "e
,C@)CSC(((so be careful "hat you believe, for as you belie%e, so shall you get0!
Creating the Dwrong> #ira%le
'ere are a couple of e#amples to illustrate the points *ust made( During one of
my many financial crises!, ) reali&ed that ) had the po"er to call upon $od to sol%e my
financial "orries "ith a @ottery ticket0 +ur 1tate did not ha%e a lottery in those days, so )
dro%e to )llinois to buy the "inning lottery ticket( fter all, ) only needed one(((and )
reasoned that if ) asked $od, 'e "ould direct me to the "inning ticket(
) crossed the border and stopped at the first @ottery outlet ) found( ) bought one
ticket -- ob%iously the "inning ticket -- and started the long dri%e back home( ) "as
beaming( 5y financial "orries "ere no" o%er for all time(
,ut, as ) dro%e along, guilt started to o%ercome me( ) began to "orry( ) "orried
that ) "as defaming the miracle process that ) had been entrusted "ith( ) "orried that )
"as using! $od for my o"n personal gain( <)t didn.t occur to me that maybe $od
wanted me to ha%e the "inning ticket=(
) "ent on "orrying for the entire trip home( ) thought about all of the star%ing
little children in the "orld( ) "orried that they "ere far more ;deser%ing. and needful of
*ust such a "indfall((((and ) "orried that maybe ) "as taking food from their %ery mouths(
Then, ) thought about all of the sick people in the "orld to "hom the miracle of such a
"inning ticket could make all of the difference(
ll of those thoughts brought me around to reflecting upon my o"n life, and *ust
ho" blessed ) had been( The guilt "as crushing no"(
,y the time ) got home, ) had come to disdain the "inning ticket in my pocket( )
felt ashamed that ) e%er undertook the trip in the first place( s ) stepped out of the car, )
looked hea%en"ard and said out loud, /ather, if there is someone else you "ant to ha%e
this "inning ticket, please gi%e it to them(!
) should ha%e kno"n that there "as no reason to check the lottery numbers in the
paper the ne#t day( ) should also ha%e kno"n not to be surprised, or disappointed that
none of the numbers on my ticket "ere printed there in the ne"spaper( ,ut, ) looked( )
"as surprised, ) guess( nd, ) "as certainly disappointed(((sort of( )t "asn.t until "eeks
later, "hen ) reflected on my bad luck!, that ) reali&ed ) got e#actly "hat ) asked for0 )
got e#actly "hat ) e#pected( ) can only surmise that the "inning ticket did go to someone
"ho needed it "orse than me((( because, that "as my prayer, after all, "asn.t it90
5ogi% gi,e& it awa.
No", one may ask oneself, "hy did ) gi%e the "inning ticket a"ay9 That )
originally had the "inning ticket in my possession is of no doubt to me( ), "illingly, ga%e
it up( ,ut, "hy did ) do that, ) ask myself9 @o%e for my fello" man9 1ure( Cmpathy for
those "ho need a miracle, and maybe don.t kno" ho" to get it for themsel%es9 6ossibly(
,ecause that.s "hat $od "anted me to do9 1ounds like a good reason to me( 5aybe
because ) "anted to9 pparently0
,ut, "hat if it is grander than that9 Did ) doubt9 Did ) doubt my "orthiness!9
Don.t "e all, at times9 The split in the 7atholic 7hurch happened "hen /ather 5artin
@uther declared to the 7hurch that $od grants absolution! by $race, alone( 'e "as
protesting the 7hurch.s method in those days of selling absolutions! to the highest
bidder( )t is not my purpose here to make any *udgment about "hich "as correct, if
either( ,ut, ) do belie%e, that $od "elcomes all of his children -- both, "hom "e call
good! or bad! -- into $od.s Lingdom, regardless of the life "e ha%e li%ed here on
earth, because $od lo%es all of $od.s creations( ) kno" that $od lo%es all of $od.s
children, because, ho" could $od not9 There is no "iggle room in ll! lo%ing that )
can see(
) guess ) belie%e that $od, and )(((and you(((are "orking in concert, together( )f )
"anted the "inning lottery ticket to go to someone, "hom ) percei%ed to be less fortunate
than myself, then it stands to reason that $od "anted that, too( Which came first9 5y
desire, or $od.s9 Did $od plant that thought in my head9 Does it matter9 Whate%er "e
belie%e, all ) kno" is that belie%ing! makes it so(
Chapter 12
Belie,ing in $ira%le& $a+e The# So
The =*ppearan%e? of Bad New&
1ometimes, "hat "e percei%e to be %ery bad ne"s enters our life( 1ome
seemingly terrible e%ent befalls us( t those moments, "e may find oursel%es railing
against $od( ,ut, it has been my e#perience that, if "e "ait long enough to see $od.s
plan fully unfold, "e disco%er that the bad thing! had to happen for the good things! to
follo"(((or they might not ha%e follo"ed at all( )n fact, there is, and "e can see it if "e
look, a seeming causal relationship bet"een "hat "e thought "as the bad thing!, and
the e%entual good thing! coming to pass( ).m sure, if you reflect for a moment on
something in your past that you gnashed your teeth against, and maybe e%en cursed a
seemingly un-feeling! lmighty, that you "ill see that the good! e%ents that follo"ed
"ere almost certainly causally related to that e%ent that troubled you so at the time(
What is good to re-member, "hen something that appears to be de%astatingly bad
happens, "e should %ie" it as a blessing!( )t.s +kay0 Whate%er Thy Will is, @ord, is
okay "ith me0 That.s a prayer that can gi%e you much peace of mind at those lo"
moments(
:sually, such good-bad! linked e%ents are distanced by a significant period of
time, such as months, or e%en years( ) had one such occasion happen pretty -uickly( )n
fact, had it not been for my understanding of $od and 'is miracles, ) probably "ould
ha%e been gnashing my teeth, instead of laughing(
=*&+ing? to be =!ired?
t the time, ) "as managing a large, t"o-le%el, enclosed mall( ) thought it to be a
%el%et prison! -- nice income, good *ob, lots of authority, and the responsibility ) thri%e
on( ) "as %ery good at my *ob, and liked it for that matter( ) had 1J0 employees, and )
en*oy managing %ery much( ,ut, ) felt unfulfilled( ) "anted to do something greater(
The entrepreneurial spirit hadn.t been dampened in me "ith my maga&ine e#perience, it
"as only "hetted(
)n my spare time, ) had played "ith turning The 1ocratic 5ethod into a concept
for a computer program( ) reasoned, and it turned out that ) "as right, that all people are
born "ith all kno"ledge( They *ust don.t reali&e it( <).ll e#plain that ne#t, but first, the
e#ample of bad ne"s-good ne"s!=(
) designed a computer program that "ould help a >ealtor sell homes in one day
based on The 1ocratic 5ethod( That.s a departure from the a%erage K0 days it usually
takes a >ealtor to sell a buyer on making an +ffer( >ealtors find themsel%es making
recommendations! on "hich home to buy to their buyers( This leads them to fre-uently
talk up! a particular house "ithout much kno"ledge as to "hether it is the right!
house, or the best house! for the buyers( They ha%e it back"ards( <1ee2 ;The 6lanet of
Ne%aeh. later in this book=( >ealtors percei%e that their *ob is to sell homes!( )t.s not,
and the introduction of the 5ultiple @isting 1er%ice pro%ed that G0 years ago( Their *ob
is to sell buyers!0 )n order to do that, they must kno" as much as possible about "hat
the buyer "ants, needs, and can afford(
,ut, they don.t bother to ask( They don.t, because, e%en if they did ha%e this
information, they couldn.t do anything "ith it( The 5ultiple @isting 1er%ice computer
program is not designed to search for do&ens of home features, and analy&e that data(
1uch a program, that could, is "hat ) designed(
,ut, ) am not a computer programmer, so ) needed to find one, to help make my
dream a reality( ) called ),5 ,usiness 1olutions, but they "anted more money than )
could ha%e sa%ed in a lifetime( nd, basically, ) did not ha%e any additional discretionary
money to in%est, any"ay( )n fact, ) "as li%ing from paycheck to paycheck( s ) sat at
my big desk in my office one day, ) looked up at the ceiling, and ) said, Tell you "hat,
,ig $uy, 8ou get me a computer programmer for free, and ).ll ha%e the ner%e to -uit this
*ob, and *ust expect that 8ou.ll see that my soft"are business can support me(!
t that moment, the door of my office opened, and my boss, the %ice president,
"alked in( ).m sorry to ha%e to tell you this, ,ill, but you.re fired(!
What0! ) "as shocked( 'a%en.t ) been doing a good *ob9!
+h, absolutely0 8ou.%e done remarkable "ork( )t.ll be hard to get along "ithout
you(((although, you have sol%ed %irtually all of the problems ) "as hoping you "ould
"hen ) hired you(((but things are running pretty smoothly no",! he replied( )t.s *ust that
my best friend, "ho li%es in Te#as, *ust called me, and his business has gone bankrupt(
'e needs a *ob(((so, ) ga%e him yours(!
) burst out laughing( 'e "as as perple#ed, as ) "ould ha%e been, if ) didn.t ha%e a
clear understanding of ho" $od "orks( When he left my office, ) looked hea%en"ard
and said, No, No0! 8ou.re supposed to get me a 6rogrammer before ) lose my *ob0!
nd, ) laughed out loud, again, because ) kne" that $od "ould not be letting me do"n(
5y termination notification period passed "ithout incident(((e#cept that ) did e%en
more good "ork for the company( ) didn.t bother looking for a ne" *ob( fter all, $od
o"ed! me a 6rogrammer0 $od o"ed! me one, because ) "as belie%ing! that $od
"ould gi%e me one(((as a miracle(
The day that ) "as packing up my personal belongings into a cardboard bo# to
clear out my office and lea%e, there came a knock on my office door( ) opened it up to
see an old friend, "ho "as an insurance agent, "hom ) had not seen in the pre%ious 10
years, because he li%ed in another part of the 1tate( >on0! ) e#claimed, pleasantly
surprised( What are you doing here9 re you in to"n on business9!
8es, ) "as,! he said, and ) *ust finished up( ) had some time on my hands, so )
thought ).d stop by and rene" old ac-uaintances( ) "anted to see your ne" office(!
Well, take a -uick look around( ).m on my "ay out the door right no"0! )
laughed( ,y the "ay, "hat.re you doing these days, buddy9! ) asked(
Well, ).m really e#cited0! he e#claimed( 8ou kno" ho" ).%e been in the
insurance business for the past 2J years9! ) nodded in agreement( Well,! he continued,
).%e *oined a ne" company o"ned by an old friend( ).%e been selling computer soft"are
programs for the past si# months(((and am lo%ing it0!
What a coincidence,! ) said( ).m *ust about to launch my o"n soft"are
company( ) *ust need to find a 6rogrammer( ) *ust need to find one "ho "ill "ork for
free,! again ) laughed out loud(
)ot a problem,! he declared( 5y boss "ill "rite your program for you, ).m
sure, for a piece of the action(!
Why "ould he do that for me9! ) asked(
,ecause he o"es his career, and his ultimate success to your sister0 1he ga%e
him a *ob "hen he "as the most desperate, and nobody else "ould take a chance on him(
That start got him to "here he is today0 ) think he.ll "ant to pay that fa%or back( We can
meet "ith him tomorro"(! 6rayer ans"ered, *ust as ) kne" in advance that it "ould be( )
*ust looked back up to my ceiling and mouthed a silent, Thank 8ou(! We all met the
ne#t day, and the pact "as sealed(
Born with *ll Knowledge
,efore continuing on to the ne#t miracles regarding my ne" soft"are business, it
is probably appropriate to discuss my earlier statement that ll people are born "ith ll
Lno"- ledge!, as this does not appear to be the common perception( ,ut, it is a %ital
understanding in helping us understand our relationship "ith $od(
) spoke earlier about my eldest daughter ha%ing a 5usical talent $ift from $od!(
5ost all of us ha%e kno"n people like this( +h, to be sure, they ha%e to study their
instrument, and they ha%e to "ork at it, like all of us "ork to perfect our skills( ,ut,
"hen it comes to their instrument, they seem to ha%e a natural knack for it, and the
lessons come easier to them than to others of us "ho "ould ha%e to "ork three times as
hard to keep up( >emember my friend, ?oe, "hom ) mentioned earlier9 'e is one such
person, too( 'e has ne%er had any formal musical training, and in fact, cannot e%en read
music( 'e *ust picked up the guitar one day, at ten years of age, and began to play( 'e
has made a li%ing(((a career(((playing his guitar e%er since( 'e plays by ear!( 'e *ust has
a natural feel! for it(
Well, ) ha%e al"ays belie%ed that e%eryone on the planet is so endo"ed by $od(
?ust about e%erybody ).%e e%er asked if they en*oy "hat they do for a li%ing, no matter
from "hat "alk of life, usually ans"ers in the affirmati%e( )f they don.t, "hen ne#t )
meet them, they ha%e changed *obs -- either %oluntarily or in%oluntarily -- and now they
like "hat they do(
1ometimes, the hard part is kno"ing *ust "hat your particular talent! is( ,ut, )
ha%e come to belie%e that it isn.t important for us to kno"( ) ha%e obser%ed that @ife has
a "ay of taking us do"n those paths, and into those realms "here "e find "e are
attracted, and "e "ind up "orking there(((doing "hat "e en*oy doing( There is a famous
*a&& trumpeter, +lu Dara, "ho "as studying to be a medical doctor, but had learned the
trumpet as a child( ,efore graduating
medical school, he decided he "anted to play the trumpet for a li%ing( Not that he "asn.t
en*oying medicine( )t.s *ust that he felt a calling! to play *a&& trumpet( 'e is a "orld
famous *a&& musician today( s it happens, N+lu DaraN is not his gi%en! name( )t is a
name he chose for himself, "ith the help of a spiritual ad%isor( N+lu DaraN is frican for
N$odOs @o%eN(
$eorge @ucas admits that "hen he "as *ust starting out forming his )ndustrial
@ight V 5agic company, he needed the programming skills of the best 6rogrammers the
colleges "ere graduating, but he couldn.t hope to compete, salary-"ise, "ith the big
corporations "hich "ere hiring against him at the time( 1till, he reports, he got the top
talent, because those kids! "anted to put their skills to "ork in the mo%ie industry, and
"ere "illing to "ork for less, to fulfill their o"n dreams(
1o, my position is, "e are all born kno"ing e%erything in the uni%erse, "hether
"e kno" it or not0 8ou already kno" ho" to speak 1panish, ho" to play the piano, you
can e%en understand Cinstein.s Theory of >elati%ity( 8ou may not belie%e! that( ) can
hear you already saying, ) can.t play the piano0! Well, that.s not e#actly true, is it9
5aybe "hat you are really telling me is that you ha%en.t, yet, put your mind to learning
ho" to play the piano, nor ha%e you practiced( ,ut(((could you9 7ould you take piano
lessons(((and practice(((and e%entually learn to play the piano, if you "anted to, and "ere
so moti%ated9
The point is, "e could not learn anythin if "e did not ha%e the capacity to learn
everythin0 Take a brand ne", tiny baby, for e#ample( They *ust arri%ed here on planet
earth, and they <supposedly= kno" nothin yet0 )sn.t that right9 They can.t talk, they
can.t "alk, they can.t feed themsel%es, and they.d ha%e a real hard time holding do"n a
*ob(
@et.s focus on the fact that they can.t talk( 'eck, they don.t e%en kno" "hat
talking! is, let alone that it is a communication de%ice that human beings use to share
thoughts and ideas, feelings and e#periences, laughter and lo%e, and pain and sorro", to
commiserate "ith each other, and share the scary nights of fear(((fear of failure(((fear of
po%erty(((fear of death, etc(, etc(, etc(
They don.t e%en kno", for e#ample, that they are soon to be e#pected to regulate
the %ery breath that they e#hale, through their throat bo# and regulate it, forcing the air
bet"een their teeth, gums and lips to shape those guttural sounds they hear their giant
o"ners! <parents= making, to shape and e#press something called "ords!(
The first thing they e#perience, "here talking! is concerned, is that great
big giant face looming inches a"ay from their o"n( This being! is breathing on us, and
making the most god-a"ful noises of grunts and t"itters( What the heck is going on
here9! the baby thinks( ,ut, the breath tickles their nose, so they giggle, further
encouraging the giant! to do it some more, earnestly, perpetually, constantly0 Why, it.s
as if they are trying to communicate "ith me,! the baby thinks( <8ou see, the baby can
think e%en before it can talk0 'o" in the "orld is this possible, if it doesn.t kno" "hat
"ords, or talking, is90= Well, ) belie%e the ans"er is simple( ,abies must already born
"ith all kno"ledge in order to ha%e the capacity to learn(
,ut, since they are the helpless ones, "ouldn.t you think that they could e#pect
their more intelligent ;giants. to learn their language9 $oo-$oo- $a"-$a"! ob%iously
means ;).m happy., the baby thinks( ,ut, no( These more e%ol%ed giant human beings
expect me to figure out "hat all of this guttural breath on my face means0 They e#pect
me to understand that this is a communication de%ice, that ).m supposed to emulate it and
copy it, and learn it, and ).m e#pected to learn on my own <since ) can.t understand their
"ords= ho" to shape my own breath to produce similar guttural sounds and form "ords!
and tell them "hat.s going on "ith me -- poo-poo!, da-da!, ma ma! W'+0! the
baby thinks, ;5-5.(((@ook at her respond0 Why, that must be an actual "ord000
W+W0 This stupid back"ard earthly system actually "orks0(((?ust look at ho" they
fa"n o%er me )#W0 Think ).ll try and learn more of these magic sounds0!
,y the time your baby is J years old, it has a %ocabulary of about J0,000 "ords0
Muite an accomplishment0 )n fact, if they are raised in a bi-lingual family, they probably
ha%e 100,000 "ords committed to memory, and can speak t"o languages fluently0
,ut, take that same child at age 1G, and introduce them into a 5iddle 1chool
1panish 7lass(((they.re lucky if they can ac-uire 1,000 "ords, and "ill be barely able to
find a restroom in 1pain0 What.s "rong "ith this picture9 They already know that
language is formed "ith the breath, lips, teeth and gums( They already kno" it.s a
communication de%ice( 1hucks, they already kno" a language, it.s correct construction,
the po"er of ho" to use it to their ad%antage to get "hat they "ant( 1hoot, all they ha%e
to do is pick up a fe" thousand more "ords to add to their %ocabulary of, by no",
2J0,000 "ords, and learn a fe" ne" grammar rules( 1hould be a piece of cake, right9
Cspecially if, as ).%e already indicated, children are born "ith All %now7 lede0
,ut(((they don.t( Why not9 ) think it is because they ha%e been conditioned by
the "orld(((by their parents, by their teachers, by their schoolyard friends(((not to belie%e
in themsel%es( They ha%e learned that they are born
sinners!(((faulty(((fla"ed(((.losers.(((coming short of perfection( )n short, "e ha%e taught
them failure! is a condition of life on earth, and along "ith it((((F!A0!0 nd, then, the
coup d. grace -- "e make them forget that they used to ,elie%e in $od0 nd, no", they
really have something to fear( They ha%e *ust learned that they are all alone in this cold,
cruel "orld of dog-eat-dog, and e%ery man for himself( They are learning not to trust(
/irst, not to trust their old fogey parents, then their teachers(((and certainly not in a
fictitious, in%isible, ;male. $od( nd, finally, and most importantly((("e ha%e taught
them not to belie%e in themsel%es(
,abies born "ith all kno"ledge9 >ubbish!, you say( +kay, ha%e it your "ay(
Don.t belie%e me( Don.t belie%e in your baby( Don.t belie%e in $od( nd, go on
keeping not belie%ing in yourself( ,ut, tell you "hat( @et.s *ust see "here that gets
you(((okay9 8ou "on.t con%ince me that you are a bad person, but ).m sure you.ll find
many fearful people right in your o"n neighborhood "ho "ill agree "ith you "hat a
fla"ed person you are(((and they "on.t like your damn kid, either0
Our State of 7erfe%tion
)n truth, as ?esus said, "e are all perfect( fter all, "e are made in $od.s o"n
)mage, aren.t "e9 1o, ho" could "e be anything less than perfect90 +ur problem is that
"e don.t belie%e that this is so, and "e act accordingly( 8ou see, "e cannot be not
perfect( 1o, "e become perfectly "rong!(((on purpose0
This truism "as dri%en home to me one day "hen ) "as "atching a 5il"aukee
,ucks basketball game( The score "as DFto DH in fa%or of the ,ucks and there "ere only
seconds left on the clock( The other team scored a basket, putting them ahead one point
DD to DH( hoop shot for t"o points "as the only hope the ,ucks had( s the ball fell
through the ,ucks basket, it fell into the hands of a ,ucks player( 'e instantly turned and
thre" the ball the entire length of the court to"ard the other teams. hoop( 1"ish, the ball
fell through the hoop *ust as the ending bu&&er sounded( The arena burst into bedlam at
the unbelie%able shot that "on the game(
:nbelie%able!9 Why shouldn.t it ha%e been belie%able9 fter all, this "as an
accomplished athlete "ho had spent thousands of hours practicing and perfecting his
basketball skills( +f course, "e rarely see such perfection e%en from e#perts in any "alk
of life( nd, that.s "hen it struck me( This basketball player did not ha%e time in that
one second to doubt himself( 'e *ust assumed he could make the shot(((and so he did(
'is perfectly created eye, and his perfectly trained arm coordinated together "ith
absolute faith in his ability to do the task(((without doubt or fear(((could render no other
conclusion(
fe" days later, ) "as sitting at my computer and printed out a page "ith a
mistake on it( /rustrated, ) crumpled the paper up and tossed in at the "astebasket only a
foot a"ay(((and missed0 ) "as incredulous0 'o" could ) possibly miss, ) asked myself( )
picked up the ball of paper, and again thre" it at the "astebasket( )t hit the rim and
bounced off, again missing the intended target( ) "as stupefied(((and, no", angry at
myself( ) picked it up a third time and thre" it again( ) "as close enough that ) could
ha%e *ust reached o%er and placed it in the basket, but no" it had become a point of pride(
:nbelie%ably, ) missed again0 ,ut, this time, ) noticed something( ) had been looking at
the hole, but at the last split second, my eye shifted and looked at the rim(((and sure
enough, ) hit e#actly "hat ) "as aiming for -- the rim0
) thought about this for a"hile( 'o" could ) hit that tiny rim three times in a ro",
and miss that great big hole e%ery time9 fter all, isn.t the rim so much smaller that if )
had been trying to hit the rim, my paper ball "ould ha%e accidentally fallen into the big
hole9 nd, that.s "hen it struck me0 ) was hitting "hat ) "as aiming for --the rim0 ) "as
doubting my o"n ability to be perfect!( 1o, my eye and arm shifted at the %ery last
second to miss the hole, to pro%e to myself that ) am as imperfect as ) belie%ed! ) "as0
This time, ) concentrated on looking at a tiny spot in the middle of the
"astebasket hole( s ) did so, the hole seemed to e#pand to 100 times as large as it "as(
1"ish0 The paper ball sank directly into the middle of the "astebasket "ithout coming
any"here near the sides or the rim0 To test my theory, ) mo%ed the "astebasket J feet
a"ay( 1"ish0 Then 10 feet a"ay( 1"ish( Then 1J feet( 1"ish( Then 20 feet a"ay(
1"ish0 No" ) "as really incredulous0 ) thre" the paper ball 10 more times at that
distance( ) made e%ery shot((("ithout failure0
h, 'a0! ) thought( We are perfect( We *ust tell oursel%es that "e aren.t( nd,
since "e cannot be "rong, "e take the action necessary to pro%e to oursel%es that "e can
fail by being perfectly "rong!( We can.t escape our perfection, *ust as "e can.t escape
our miracles( $od promises to gi%e us all of the miracles "e "ant( 1o, e%erything in our
li%es(((e%ery action(((e%ery act(((is a miracle( When "e get cancer, that.s a miracle
because "e consciously or sub- consciously ask for it( 'o"9 ,y being fearful that "e
might get it( ,y being fearful, "e dra" the e#perience to oursel%es( 1ome people smoke
cigarettes for K0 years and ne%er get lung cancer( +thers ne%er smoke, but get lung
cancer( 'o" does that happen9 Where is the logic in that90 When "e get a million
dollars, "e recogni&e that as a miracle!, because "e consider that unbelie%ably good
ne"s!( )n short, "e get "hat "e belie%e "e "ill get( What "e belie%e "e deser%e!( )f
"e belie%e that "e are imperfect and do not deser%e! good things, "e get that -- "hat
"e need to get to pro%e to oursel%es that "e aren.t perfect and aren.t deservin of good
things0
This brings to mind another occasion "hen that point "as dri%en, literally, home
to me( ) had a young housekeeper at one time( This "as a girl "ho constantly doubted
herself( That attitude "as easy to trace back to her father "ho constantly had e#pressed
doubt in her abilities from the time she "as born( 1he had heard nothing for the first 22
years of her life but that she "as incapable!( 1he confided in me that she had ne%er
learned to dri%e(((in fact, "as incapable of learning to dri%e( ) assured her that dri%ing
"as easy, and the proof "as that %irtually everybody learned to dri%e, regardless of their
le%el of intelligence( ) offered to teach her( fter much encouragement, she finally
agreed to try!( That should ha%e been my first clue things "ere not going to go "ell(
When "e say "e "ill try, "e are assuming a potential for failure( Crgo, "e fail(
Well, ) dro%e her out to a lonely stretch of high"ay, and "hen there "ere no other
cars on the road, ) put her behind the "heel( 1he started out pretty good, accelerating
smoothly, dri%ing straight( nd then, all of a sudden, she started steering the car to"ard
the ditch running alongside the road( Turn the "heel0! ) shouted( 1he did( 1he turned
the "heel e%en more to"ard the ditch0 No, no0 The other "ay! ) shouted, panicky no"(
1he continued to turn the "heel e%en more the "rong "ay in the direction of the ditch
until "e, at last, ended up in the ditch0 'er "hole demeanor bespoke that she "as
mystified as to ho" this had happened(((but she "asn.t surprised0 1he expected to "ind
up in the ditch( 1he expected to fail, so she could not fail( 1he had to fail to pro%e to me
and to herself that she "as short of the perfection of $od0
This has brought up the need to understand *ust ho" this planet "e li%e on, "orks(
)n order to illustrate the truth of it, one must start "ith an understanding that C%erything
on 6lant Carth is(((backwards from reality!( Not some things( Not most things( !very
thing( @et me tell you a little story that e#plains the concept(
This story is a history lesson about merica that hasn.t happened yet( 'o" do )
kno"9 ,ecause ) am from the future( )n fact, ) am not from 6lanet Carth, but from
another planet( s merica "as about to pro%e Cinstein.s theory about the cur%ature of
space by sending an astronaut into space, my planet "as sending me on a similar mission(
) ha%e come to earth from the 6lanet of Ne%aeh((((
Chapter 1
The Se%ret of 5ife
The 7lanet of Ne,aeh
Cinstein.s Theory of >elati%ity says many things( +ne of the things it says is that
space is cur%ed( )t also reports that time compresses "ith speed( 1o, the theory goes, if
man "ere able to lea%e earth on a spaceship that could tra%el at the speed of light, he
"ould tra%el the cur%e of space, and e%entually land right back on Carth( nd, he "ould
only be about 20 years older, "hile thousands of years "ould ha%e passed on Carth, and
all of his old friends "ould be long gone(
Well, man actually does accomplish this feat about 20 years into our future(
merica in%ents a rocket that can tra%el at the speed of light, and it "ill be decided to
send an astronaut off into space to pro%e Cinstein.s theories, much the same "ay
7olumbus sailed to find a ne" route across the ocean to the /ar Cast, or 5agellan sailed
around the "orld to pro%e that it "as round(
The astronaut "as launched in the 8ear 2020 a(d(, but he "as only gone for about
t"o "eeks "hen he crash landed( +h, no,! he thought( ) couldn.t ha%e
circumna%igated the entirety of space in only t"o "eeks0 ) must ha%e bumped into an
asteroid, or something, and no" ).ll be stuck here the rest of my life0!
1o, he climbed do"n out of his rocket( 1ure enough( )t "as crinkled( )t couldn.t
fly anymore( 1o, he turned around to see *ust "here he "as going to be marooned for the
rest of his natural life, and, lo and behold, he "as back on 6lanet Carth0 nd, luck of
luck, he had crash landed *ust on the outskirts of his o"n hometo"n0 'e decided, since
dusk "as falling, to "alk home and spend the night, and then call the ir ,ase in the
morning to tell them that he must ha%e flo"n straight up for a "eek, retrograded, and
then fle" back do"n to Carth for a "eek0
s he neared the edge of to"n, he noticed that the sign that said, Welcome to
1mall%ille!, actually "as "ritten, Cmocle" ot Clli%llams!( The "ords "ere right, and in
the right order(((but they "ere spelled back"ard( 'o" odd,! he thought, but he mo%ed
on( s he passed each 1treet sign, he noticed that the names of the streets "ere correct,
but also spelled back"ard( 5ain! "as no" Niam!, and Clm! "as no" 5le!, and on,
and on( What is going on here9! he asked himself( )t must be those college kids up to
their old pranks, he reasoned(
When he got to the center of to"n, he noticed that all of the cars "ere dri%ing on
the "rong side of the road( Then, he noticed that people in restaurants "ere eating "ith
their left hands( +h, some "ere using their right hands, but the ma*ority "ere left-
handed0
6erple#ed as he strolled do"n Niam! 1treet, he spied his old girlfriend across the
street, and rushed o%er to meet her( 1he didn.t kno" him at all0 ,ut, in con%ersation
"ith her, he disco%ered that he "as not back on Carth after all, but, instead, "as on
another planet called Ne%aeh!(
Then he "as depressed, again( 1ince he "as no" marooned on this strange planet
that appeared to be Carth, but "asn.t, and since his rocketship "as crinkled, he reali&ed
that he "ould be stuck here fore%er( 'e decided that he "ould ha%e to acclimate, and
start a ne" life on this odd planet( 'e took a *ob as a salesman, and spent his free time
learning as much as he could about this strange ne" "orld(
)t turned out that the planet had the same number of continents as earth -- 1e%en(
They e%en looked like Carth.s continents, but they "ere on the other side of the planet
and "ere shaped back"ard from Carth.s( Their merican! continent had the /lorida!
on the West 7oast, and the 7alifornia-shaped! land mass on its Cast 7oast0 'o"
unusual, he thought(
'e also disco%ered that this planet had the same number of beings! -- K billion --
inhabiting it( Then he began to learn some surprising things about this strange place(
They didn.t ha%e famine0 They had the same amount of food as Carth, and the same
number of people!, but they had a much better distribution system0 )n fact, he
disco%ered, on this planet he didn.t see any e%idence of anger(((or hate(((or *udgments(((or
e%en "ar0 C%erybody seemed to get along together, pretty "ell(
)n fact, e%en the company he "orked for had an unusual setup( The company.s
organi&ational chart looked like this(((
salesman salesman salesman production "orker production
"orker
super%isor super%isor super%isor
manager manager manager
%ice president %ice president
president
When he asked about it(((noting that it "as apparently upside do"n, his company
president e#plained it by first asking a fe" -uestions( +n such a chart, the important
people are at the top, and the further do"n you go, those are the less important people,
aren.t they9! he asked(
+f course our astronaut agreed, that "as, indeed, ho" such charts "ere designed(
nd, *ust "ho are the most important people in this company9! he asked( The
astronaut pointed out that, in his e#perience, the president "as the most important person
in a company, because he is the most responsible for e%erybody ha%ing a *ob(
Then, the president asked him, Who brings the operating money into the
company9! +f course the astronaut indicted that it "as the salesmen and production
"orkers( The president concluded "ith, )f there are no successful salesmen and
production "orkers, can there e%en be a company9! The astronaut ackno"ledged that
there couldn.t(
Then the president e#plained( )f the salesmen and production "orkers are the
ones keeping the company ali%e, then they are the most important people in the company,
and go at the top( C%eryone else in the company -- 1uper%isors, 5anagers, Sice
6residents, and 6resident -- all ser%e to support the salesmen and production "orkers(
Therefore, they are increasingly less important to the organi&ation the further do"n the
chart you go, because they ha%e less and less influence on the greatest number of people(
They e#ist only to keep the salesmen and production "orkers producing income (
,ut,! protested the astronaut, the bosses gi%e the orders, and orders come do"n
from the top0!
nd, "here do the -uestions come from9! the president challenged him(
:p from the bottom, "here ) come from,! the astronaut e#plained(
C#actly0! the president agreed( the salesmen at the top bring in the orders from
the customers, and the production "orkers fill those orders( That.s "hy they.re both at
the top( 1upport personnel, like managers, don.t ;boss. people around(((they ask the
-uestions to get their salesmen and production "orkers to think critically and sol%e their
own problems( +nly "hen someone.s brain is fully "orking, and they are taking
responsibility for their o"n challenges, "ill they learn, and increase in their skills0 1o,
the *ob of the support staff is to help the most important people in the company do their
*ob((("ith -uestions(((not orders(!
This made some sort of con%oluted sense to the astronaut that he couldn.t argue
"ith, so he dropped the sub*ect( The president added that, of course, that "as ho" the
salesmen "ere successful "ith their customers(((the people "ho "ere the only ones
higher in importance to the company than the salesmen and production "orkers( +ur
salesmen,! he e#plained, ask our customers their problems and needs, and then fill those
needs by ;taking orders.( nd, our production people ask the salesman ho" they can best
ser%e the salesman.s customers, and fulfill those needs "ith our products(
The "hole system "orks %ery "ell,! he e#plained( Why, can you imagine "hat
a mess it "ould be if it "as the other "ay around "ith salesmen trying to tell their
customers "hat they should buy9 +r, management trying to tell salesmen how to tell
anything to their customer90 Why, "e.d fail o%ernight0 1ales "ould not be coming in,
and production "ouldn.t gi%e a hang "hat the salesmen.s customers "anted(((and support
staff as ,+11C19 Why, the support staff "ould then be totally out of touch "ith reality,
and "ould get an inflated idea of their importance to the company, and all "ould be lost(
Why, ) can e%en imagine our support staff calling themsel%es ;e#ecuti%es., and taking the
biggest salaries and long lunch hours, and s"aggering around in fancy cars0 :tter
nonsense0 Nobody "ould be listenin to anybody else0 'o" "ould things get
accomplished that "ay90!
The astronaut left -uietly to ponder these ne" perceptions the president had
shared(
The ne#t day, he returned to the president.s office "ith more -uestions(
).m not sure ) understand your philosophy,! he began( ren.t "e supposed to
take responsibility for our o"n "ork9
The president.s eyes rolled hea%en"ard( @et me ask you,! he said, in t"o
"ords "hat does a farmer do9!
$ro"s food!, "as the astronaut.s ans"er(
nd, in t"o "ords, "hat does a doctor do9! the president asked(
'eals people,! came the -uick reply(
nd in t"o "ords, "hat does teacher do9 the president continued(
Teaches people!, said the astronaut gro"ing in confidence at his ability to
summari&e these comple# responsibilities into only t"o "ords(
nd, finally, "hat does a salesman do in t"o "ords!, the president asked(
1ells people0! the erst"hile salesman responded(
) don.t kno" "here you.re getting your information,! the president said, but )
can tell you.%e got an a"ful lot to learn( /irst of all, a farmer does not gro" food(
farmer finds $od.s seed lying on the ground, and he plants it in $od.s ground, and then
he "aits "hile $od.s rain and $od.s sunshine fall upon the little seed and cause it to
gro"( Then, all the farmer does is cut it do"n( The farmer can.t create anything( 'e is
only a ;reaper!(((a ;taker.(
nd, a doctor can.t ;heal. anybody(((and they.d be the first to admit that( ll the
doctor does is set a broken bone back in place, and then $od knits the bone and heals it(
+r the doctor finds some unnatural gro"th, like cancer, in a person.s body and cuts the
body open and cuts the malignant gro"th out( Then the doctor "aits "hile $od causes
the cells in the flesh to re-gro" and heal the cut body(
nd, a teacher can.t teach anyone anything if the student is not listening or does
not understand because they ha%e not put their o"n good brain into gear( teacher can
offer information in the most entertaining "ay they kno", but it is up to the student to
seek to understand( To put their o"n good brain that $od ga%e them to "ork in figuring
out ho" math "orks, or ho" science "orks, or ho" the language "orks, etc(
nd, a salesman certainly cannot ;sell. anybody anything that they don.t "ant or
need to buy0 8ou ha%e to understand ho" this planet "orks if you "ant to be a salesman
here( ll you can do is help facilitate the customer in disco%ering for themsel%es "hether
they "ant or need your product as the perfect solution for their problem, and to
understand if they can afford your solution, or not( :ntil you start to trust that $od is
your sales-'elper in helping people disco%er their o"n needs and solutions, because you
are doing $od.s "ork for your customers, you "ill not be successful(!
The ne#t day, he "as back in the president.s office for some personal ad%ice( 7an
you e#plain to me,! he asked, "hat the 6lanet of Ne%aeh does "ith its ;a# murders.9
We lock them up in prison for life, or kill them, right9!
The president *ust looked hea%en"ard( 'e couldn.t belie%e his ears( 'o" "ould
that ser%e anybody9! he asked the erst"hile salesman( @et me ask you a fe"
-uestions,! he continued, ob%iously %ery used to raising his salesmen.s perceptions by
asking -uestions and getting them to think for themsel%es( What causes a person to
become an a# murderer in the first place9! he "anted to kno"(
The astronaut *ust stared back blankly( ) don.t kno",! he ans"ered(
+f course, you do,! the president protested( 8ou *ust ha%en.t asked yourself the
-uestion, because you assume that you don.t kno" the ans"er( 1o, to help you figure it
out, ans"er me this -- 'o" does one get lo%e9!
The astronaut thought about this for a "hile, then ans"ered, Why(((by ivin it,!
he said(
+kay,! the president agreed( Then, in order to gi%e something a"ay to another
person, you ha%e to ha%e e#tra yourself, don.t you9!
8es,! agreed the astronaut(
Then who must the one gi%ing a"ay lo%e, lo%e first9! the president asked again(
'imself9! %entured the astronaut(
+kay,! agreed the president, then, if someone is gi%ing a"ay ;hate., "hom do
they ha%e to hate first9!
Themsel%es9! the astronaut replied(
1o, a# murderers, "ho are gi%ing hate, don.t lo%e themsel%es(((is that "hat
you.re telling me9!
8es,! said the astronaut(
1o, they gi%e hate to others by hitting them o%er the head "ith an a#, probably in
a fit of angry rage9! he continued(
8es,! said the astronaut(
Then ) guess you kne" "hat causes people to become a# murderers, all along9!
he challenged(
No", let me ask you,! he continued, if "e think that killing is "rong, ho"
could "e e%er *ustify doing that %ery same thing to another human being, by killing
them9 Wouldn.t that say something about our own insecurity(((about ho" "e feel about
oursel%es, inside9!
) guess((((! the astronaut agreed, as he pondered the strange "ay the con%ersation
"as going(
nd, tell me,! the president continued, "hat "ould be accomplished for the a#
murderer by putting him behind bars for the rest of his life( Would he learn to lo%e
himself in there9 5oreo%er, "ould he learn that we lo%e him, as a fello" human being,
deser%ing of our lo%e9!
+f course not,! the astronaut "as no" ready to make his case, but, "hile ) agree
that he.s not going to be rehabilitated in prison, at least he.d be off the streets "here he
couldn.t kill anybody again0!
Then it "ould be necessary to keep him locked up for life "ith no hope for
parole, because he surely isn.t learning ;lo%e. in prison, nor lo%e for himself, is he9 nd,
if freed, "ould surely ha%e the same personal problem of not lo%ing himself(((isn.t that
true9! he -uestioned(
) guess so,! the astronaut asserted(
+kay, ).ll no" tell you "hat "e do "ith an a# murderer "hen "e catch up "ith
him,! the president continued( We put them on a train, and send them to a small to"n
some"here else on the planet( When the train pulls into the station, there is a brass band
playing ;/or he.s *olly good fello"., and there are about 1J0 to"nspeople there to greet
him, and hug him, and tell him they lo%e him( Then they gi%e him a free house, and a car,
and a *ob, furniture, and a tele%ision set( There are no fences around the to"n, and there
are no locks on any doors( 'e is free to run a"ay again, if he "ants to, because "e trust
him(!
,ut "hat happens,! the astronaut "anted to kno", if he decides to go ne#t door,
and take his neighbor.s tele%ision set, so that he.d ha%e t"o, and they.d ha%e none90!
+h, that.s okay,! the president ans"ered, nobody "ould be ;angry., if that.s
"hat you.re implying( They "ould *ust "ait until he "ent to sleep, because all people
sleep H hours each day, and they.d *ust go into his house and take their tele%ision set
back0 There are no locks any"here, you see,! he smiled( No matter ho" many times
he stole their set, they.d al"ays take it back( No harm done( :ntil he got tired of the
game and "ent and bought himself a second tele%ision set from the store(!
+kay, point "ell made( -ut, "hat if he "ent into the unlocked hard"are store in
to"n and took an a#, and then "hen he stole his neighbor.s tele%ision set, he "hacked
them "ith the a# so they couldn.t come and take it back90! he demanded to kno"(
We "ould go and get him again,! "as the president.s reply(
,ut, you said there "ere no fences around the to"n, so he could commit murder,
and then run a"ay again0! the astronaut said smugly(
nd, "e.d go get him again0! the president declared( nd, this time "hen "e
caught him, "e.d put him on another train to another small to"n, "here a brass band
"ould be playing, and the to"nspeople "ould be there to open their hearts to him((((!
8eah, yeah,! the astronaut protested, ) get it0 ,ut, you.%e no" got t"o more
dead people -- ood people -- and this loser is going to get a"ay "ith it AGA&)90! he
pointed out(
Good people9! the president -uestioned( ;@oser.9! he asked the astronaut to
think it through( Why, all people are $od.s creation( ll people are $od.s children(
$od lo%es each and e%ery one of them(((ho" could "e possibly do less9 ,ut, ) think
you.re missing the point here( When "e sincerely sho" him that "e really do lo%e him,
he begins to understand that "e kno" he is a good person deep do"n inside, he starts to
understand that he is lo%able( nd, he learns that someone, some"here falsely taught
him that he "as not( Then he starts to learn to lo%e himself( When that happens, he starts
gi%ing lo%e back0 )t.s *ust simple logic( 8our logic, if ) am to belie%e you, as to "hat
causes a person to be lo%ed or be an a# murderer in the first place(
,ut, ) understand "here you.re coming from( 8ou are afraid, so you "ant to
remo%e him from our society as someone "ho can.t be rehabilitated(((or isn.t ;"orthy. of
being rehabilitated( 8ou aren.t ;dealing "ith. him, or his crime, at all, are you9 8ou are
dealing "ith your fear! of him( Do you think that -- as one of our fa%orite 1gnilNe%aeh
asked us se%eral thousand years ago -- ;nd "hich of you by being an#ious can add one
cubit to his span of life9. We all die(((and we know that "e do not die until our o"n
personal appointed hour( 1o, "hat is there to fear9 5ore importantly, "hat is there to be
gained, in terms of reducing the number of a# murders, if "e learn to really lo%e our
fello" men(((all our fello" men(((and teach them to lo%e themsel%es(((and us9!
The astronaut left the president.s office to ponder these things he had learned(
This place is nuts0! he decided( )t.s e#actly back"ard from the "ay "e think on Carth0
)nteresting((((hmmm(((this planet is an e#act reflection of earth(((a mirror image(! he
thought(
nd then it hit him like a thunderbolt0 *his planet isn.t the mirror image of Carth0
!arth is the mirror image0 This place does it right(((it.s !arth that.s got everythin
back"ard0 Carth is the phony place( *his is the real "orld0! he thought( nd, after that,
he "as %ery happy to be stuck on the 6lanet of Ne%aeh for the rest of his life(
)n the beginning, $od created Ne%aeh and earth((((!
=Getting %o#fortable with the ba%+ward& %on%ept?
)f you "ant to e#plore this concept, that e%erything on planet earth is back"ards
from "hat "e.%e been led to belie%e, ask yourself -uestions about your core beliefs(
Disco%er the real ans"ers( The truthful ans"ers( "our ans"ers( ,egin to see the light of
the real truth of things on 6lanet Carth( )t "ill e#pand your mind( )t "ill lead you do"n
the road of disco%ery and enlightenment(
sk yourself, What in 7hrist.s teachings did the 7rusaders see that assured them
that 7hrist "anted them to kill :nbelie%ers! in 'is name9! Was that correct9(((in line
"ith 7hrist.s teachings9 ) cannot, for the life of me, find e%en one passage, one sentence,
one "ord from 7hrist other than lo%e e%erybody!( )n fact, 'e specifically "ent out of
his "ay to e#press lo%e your enemies, and turn the other cheek!( We ha%e e%en taken
and turned 'is "ord back"ard( +h, you.re not a 7rusader, so of course, you "ouldn.t
misinterpret that, and turn 'is teachings back"ards9 Then, ) guess you.%e ne%er become
frustrated and angry "ith another person(((on the free"ay(((at "ork((( or <$od forbid= at
home9 Turning the other cheek is not *ust for strangers and enemies( That "hich "e do
for our enemies, shouldn.t "e do it e%en more so for our lo%ed ones9
'ere are a couple of -uestions you can ask yourself to get your philosophical
motor running2 &f, "hat ) said is true, that e%erything is back"ards, ask yourself(((
)f "e call it 'ife, "hat is it, really9
nd, if "e call it (eath, "hat is it, really9
There are so many, many things, concepts, ideas, that "e hold near and dear that
are *ust simply back"ard from the truth, that this is an e#ercise "ithout end( ,ut the
deeper one del%es into it, the more light of understanding beams do"n on our human
psychology, and gi%es us the po"er o%er our li%es, and helps us to use that po"er to
benefit our fello" man
Chapter 1"
(ow We (urt Our $ira%le&
The (arde&t 7art i& 3oing Nothing
) ha%e found that the hardest part, is doing nothing, "hen there is so much that
needs to be done(
No" that "e kno" "hat is re-uired of us, as our part of getting miracles, "hat
aren.t "e allo"ed to do9 We are not allowed to do anything in furtherance of getting our
miracle( That.s sometimes as hard as ,elie%ing-in-d%ance-against-all-odds(
@et.s say that you are facing a catastrophe( 1omething o%er "hich it "ould seem
logical that you might, or should ha%e, control, but for "hate%er reason, it has gotten
a"ay from you( @et.s say, for e#ample, that you are facing foreclosure on your home(
8ou lost your *ob o%er a year ago, and ha%e not been able to get resituated( No", you
ha%e accumulated a huge debt, and one that a regular income "ill not be able to address
in the short-term, and sa%e your house from the money-lender(
8our back is to the "all( There is nothing you can do( 1o, you turn to $od and
ask $od.s indulgence in pro%iding you "ith a miracle(((a big financial "indfall(((to sa%e
your house(
1o, you pray and ask $od to deli%er you this miracle( nd, you search your heart
for any you ha%e enmity against, and dig deep do"n "ithin your soul, and forgi%e them
their trespasses against you(
No", all that.s left is to ,elie%e in d%ance! that $od will deli%er $od.s miracle
to you(((100Q, kno"ing that DD(DQ of faith is 8ero faith( 8ou either ha%e it(((or, you
don.t0 )f you don.t, you.d better not kid yourself( 8ou.d better start making
arrangements to mo%e, ;cause it isn.t going to happen( ,ut, again, $od promises that it
will happen, as you ask, if(((you((( belie%e(((in(((ad%ance(((absolutely0
)n other "ords, -elievin &n Advance U LN+W)N$0
1o, you ask( 8ou name a date for the financial "indfall to occur( What can you
do in the meantime( 'ere.s a list of "hat you CA),* do((((
1( 8ou cannot worry about "hether $od "ill come through or not( That is only proof
that you ha%e not turned it o%er to $od(((but are hanging onto it(
2( 8ou cannot pray and ask again tomorro"( That, too, is a demonstration that apparently
you didn.t belie%e the first time you prayed and asked, or else "hy "ould you ha%e to ask
again9 That is your fear of failure coming out( 8our doubt that $od e#ists, and ans"ers
all prayers( nd, if you do pray for the same miracle t"ice, "hat.s to reassure you the
third day9 1houldn.t you then ha%e to pray, and ask again that day(((and the ne#t(((and the
day after that9 Which day "ill be the real! prayer that you belie%e "ill come to pass9
G( nd, you cannot help! $od out( 8es, ) kno" that it is hard not to "ant to step in and
participate in helping your o"n miracle to occur( 5aybe you should go to the bank, you
rationali&e, and plead "ith them(((maybe they.ll cut you some slack, you reason to
yourself9 +r, maybe you should go out looking for that "indfall by knocking on doors
and asking(((9 5aybe you should call your rich :ncle 7harlie(((the one "ho pinches
e%ery penny, and ne%er helps anybody out in times of their troubles( 5aybe $od "ill
soften :ncle 7harlie.s heart, you "onder to yourself( ,ut, no, you cannot do these, or the
myriad of other things you might think of to help $od out!( )f $od "ants :ncle 7harlie
to help you out, :ncle 7harlie "ill call "#$ "ithout any prompting(
$od doesn.t need our help( $od is -uite capable of performing $od.s miracles all
by 'imself, thank you %ery much( )n fact, the %ery act of these, or any number of
proacti%e things you could think to do, "ill absolutely kill! your miracle( When you
interfere "ith $od.s "ork, you deny 'im the opportunity to perform(
Cuphemistically, "hen your hands are on the "heel of the bus careening do"n the
side of the mountain, you are keepin $od.s hands off the "heel0 dmittedly, it.s pretty
hard to take one.s hands off the "heel "hen the bus appears to be out of control!, and
the edge of the precipice is only inches a"ay( )t "ould take an enormous act of faith --
some "ould say, foolhardiness -- to release the "heel and trust that $od "ill take o%er
the steering of the bus for you(
)f you "ould at that moment, turn fatalist, and say to yourself, +kay((().m going
to take a chance on $od, and if $od steers this bus to safety, ).ll li%e, and if he doesn.t,
).ll die(((but at least ) "ill ha%e tried!(((6lease don.t take your hands off the "heel then,
because you "ill surely die( That is not a statement of true faith( Trying! is for fools(
Trying! implies a potential for failure( Cither do it!(((or don.t do it!(((you ha%e the
po"er and capacity for either( ,ut, decide0 Do not try!, because you are only fooling
yourself that maybe you.ll get lucky!( Trying! is ;programming. absolute failure(
1ince human beings can do "hate%er they put their mind, body, and spirit to,
"hen they say that they "ill try!, they are lying to themsel%es, and to e%erybody else(
They are e#pressing their fear of potential failure( nd, "hen human beings make a
statement out of fear, they are not demonstrating faith!0
Do ) mean that you can do nothing9 That you are only to sit on your bottom and
"ait9 )o0 Don.t "ait!( )f you "ait! that is "hat $od gi%es you -- the "aiting! --
because, that is your e#pectation!(
Worr., the Great =1n23oer?
Why do "e "orry9 ) think there are se%eral reasons "hy "e "orry( /irst, there is
the unkno"n( We "orry because "e tell oursel%es that "e don.t kno" "hat tomorro"
"ill bring( Where "ill the money come from to pay the rent if "e get fired from our
*obs, for e#ample( What "ill happen to ailing unt 5atilda9 Will my child be safe
"alking to school alone for the first time9 We look at the "orld and "e see terrible
things that happen to other people and "e fear they might happen to us( )f "e all
belie%ed in $od and Di%ine 6ro%idence and belie%ed that simply asking the lmighty and
trusting that $od "ill pro%ide our heart.s desires, then ) doubt that "e "ould fear4and
"onder4and "orry( 1o, if "e do "orry, ) suppose that tells us "here our le%el of faith
is4or isn.t, actually(
1econd, ) think "e "orry as a sort of self-moti%ator( 5aybe "e feel that, by
"orrying, "e "ill then start to plan and take action to a%oid that "hich "e fear( )f "e
fear for our *ob, for e#ample, "e may then be moti%ated to in%est the time to look for a
replacement *ob4*ust in case( )n this sense, maybe "orry gi%es us a sense of security, so
"e see it as performing a good cause( ,ut, then, ) ask you, "here are your efforts and
your focus9 )mpro%ing performance and3or relationships on the current *ob4or are "e
mentally breaking confidence "ith our current employer, lea%ing the current employer
mentally behind us, and looking for"ard to the ne#t opportunity9 )f "e had no fear, but
trusted in the $reat ) m, maybe "e "ould e#pend our energies solidifying our current
*ob "ith the e#pectation, and belief, that all "ould "ork out all right(
The -uestion then becomes4)s "orry a good! thing9 The root of "orry is fear,
and that makes fear the moti%ator( ,ut, is it a good! moti%ator, or a bad! one9 7an "e
control our destiny9 re "e captains of our o"n fate9 That brings us back to the concept
of cause-and-effect( )f "e study "ell in school, then "e expect to get a good *ob, right9
)n a sense expectation is an e#pression of faith4the opposite of fear( We go for"ard
"ithout fear "hen "e expect "e ha%e taken the action necessary for good things to
happen( ,ut, "hat physical control do "e really ha%e o%er "hether the opportunity "ill
e#ist *ust because "e ha%e prepared oursel%es properly9 )n truth4none( We could do
e%erything right!, and the opportunity not be there "hen "e need it, isn.t that true9 )sn.t
that "here the concept of life isn.t fair! comes from9 nd, "hen "e see that life isn.t
fair4"hat do "e do9 Don.t "e fear4and as a result, then worry9
When negati%e thoughts enter our head, does that lead to constructi%e beha%ior9
7an.t e#cessi%e "orry alter our attitude and affect our outcomes9 'a%en.t you seen
situations "here someone gets so upset "ith their boss, for e#ample, that they "orry
e#cessi%ely about losing their *ob to the point of e#ploding "ith the boss and telling him
to take this *ob and sho%e it!9 We all kno" "hat the resultant action of that sort of
"orrisome beha%ior is going to do, don.t "e9
That.s "here the irony in life comes in( The goal of the person "orrying to the
point of getting upset is to retain one.s *ob, and actually results in taking action that
causes one to lose one.s *ob0 )n that sense, yes, "e did ha%e control o%er our destinies,
but it.s not the sort of control "e "anted as the outcome( ) think that.s "here capital
punishment comes from( 8ou kno", "here "e rationali&e killin a killer because he
killed( We can only rationali&e such conflicting beha%ior out of fear4and a lack of faith
in $od and each other( Lilling the killer gi%es us a sense of control( ,ut, is it9 'as
killing the killer e%er pre%ented more killing9 Don.t "e reap "hat "e so"9 )f "e li%e in
a society that pro%ides killing as a rationali&ed acceptable beha%ior by society creating a
society in "hich killing "ill be an e#pected and acceptable response to frustration9
Turn it around( )f "e created a society in "hich the appropriate response to
killing "as to love the killer, instead of killing him, reali&ing that only lo%e can heal the
killer.s lack of feelings of self-lo%e "hich causes his unacceptable actions in the first
place4"ouldn.t "e then ha%e a society in "hich e%eryone learned that there is no need
for fear and that love is the only solution9 Don.t "e try to do this no"9 Don.t "e
admonish our children "hen "e see them hitting another child9 Don.t "e try and e#plain
to them that hitting is an unacceptable response to their frustrations9
,ut, children don.t learn "hat they.re told, do they9 They learn the beha%ior they
see in their parents( They learn "hat beha%ior is expected "hen they see ho" their
parents deal "ith their o"n frustrations( Whene%er ) see an adult get drunk, or dri%e
"ildly on the high"ay, or strike their child in a store, ) immediately think about "hat sort
of homelife they gre" up in4and ) feel sorry for them, and for the parents that
demonstrated such beha%ior to them( ,ut, e%en more importantly, ) see ho" they ha%e
been infected "ith the fear their frustrations spa"n( ) see ho" "orry! has been
ingrained in their li%es( ,asically, ) see ho" a lack of kno"ledge and faith in $od has
left them adrift in the boat of life "ithout a rudder( ) see ho" out-of-control they feel
their li%es are( ) see the seeds of "orry(
) mar%el at ho" ) see our society impro%ing( There "as a time 20 or G0 years ago
"hen if one sa" a parent slap their child across the face in a store, no one stepped in and
took any action( )t "as socially unacceptable! to interfere "ith ho" another parent
interacted "ith their o"n child4as if the child "as a possession of theirs4rather than
the truth, that parents are only caretakers for these little human beings that $od entrusted
to our care( Today, such beha%ior is %ie"ed by society as unacceptable, and one can
e#pect another adult to step in and admonish a parent "ho slaps their child in public(
That is a good thing(
1imilarly, there "as a time not too long ago in merica, for e#ample, "hen "hites
"ould look the other "ay "hen racial pre*udices, or racial slurs, or e%en racial *okes "ere
demonstrated in public( Today such beha%ior is socially unacceptable( That is a good
thing( They call it tolerance!( ,ut, ) don.t care for that "ord( To me, it implies that "e
are *ust putting up "ith one another despite our true feelings( ) think a better "ord for it
is lo%e!( @o%e for our fello" human beings( cceptance of our fello" human beings
despite their failings( +nly lo%e can heal( Truly, "hen "e see a parent strike a child, "e
recogni&e that it is only out of frustration, and not kno"ing ho" to deal "ith their
frustration( nd, our hearts go out, not to *ust the child, but to the parent, as "ell,
because "e reali&e that they are lacking a sense of self lo%e4"hich can only be
e#plained as a lack of understanding of $od, because $od is only lo%e( $od lo%es us no
matter "hat "e do( $od accepts us into $od.s hea%en at the end of our mortal li%es
because there is no place else to go( The ,ible tells us that4!)n the beginning, $od
created hea%en and earth(!4period( No other places( ?ust those t"o( 1o, if "e.re not in
one place, "e ha%e to be in the other( There is no hell!4no purgatory!4no other
place( n ll-@o%ing $od could not concei%e of creating another such place because
$od accepts all human beings, regardless of "hat they do because $od kno"s they didn.t
mean to perform mean acts( $od kno"s they are *ust fearful simply because of their lack
of faith in and understanding of $od and his unrestricted lo%e for all of 'is creations
Take a break and step back from your life for a minute and see Who 8ou Think
8ou re( re you a "orrier9 Do you get frustrated and not kno" "hat to do in a gi%en
situation9 re you fearful9 7an you identify the e#periences in your life that caused you
to belie%e you "ere such a person9 )s this ho" you choose to li%e your adult life9 Do
your children frustrate you9 Does your boss frustrate you9 Does your spouse frustrate
you9 re you a 'itter!9 re you a proponent of capital punishment9 re you one of
those "ho condemn the beha%ior of the 7olumbine massacre and fail to see the
ostraci&ation of the killers from their school society9 Do you blame them -- the killers --
and gi%e no thought as to ho" the %ictims alienated them9 )s this Who 8ou 7hoose to
,e9 )s this ho" you "ant to li%e your life9 n eye for an eye9 tooth for a tooth9
s an adult li%ing on 6lanet Carth, you can be anything you choose to be( 7ould
their ha%e been a feudal king had his people not chosen to accept his o%er-lordship9 Why
did it take thousands of years of oppression before the concept of self-rule and asserting
indi%idual rights occurred to the masses9 ) am reminded of 'andy, the great leader of
)ndia( 'e brought the all-po"erful ,ritish Cmpire to its knees4not by fighting them, but
by peaceful resistance( 'e simply refused to follo" their dictates( 'e didn.t fight
them( 'e e#plained that he lo%ed them( 'e *ust "asn.t going to accept their %ie" of his
"orld( 'e "as going to li%e his life as he "anted to, at any cost( 'e "as incarcerated(
'e "as clubbed( They tried to control him( 'e allo"ed them to abuse his body, but not
control his mind( 'e pre%ailed( The ,ritish left and turned the entire country o%er to
him( That is ho" he chose to li%e his life( Without fear( The one person a bully can.t
bully is one "ho does not fear the bully(
These simple truths can be applied to all of life( We can a%oid much of the pain
e#perienced in life by simply refusing to see it as the real pain( We can simply accept
"hat life doles out, but determine to go for"ard through life "ith lo%e in our hearts, and
$od "ill see to it that our faith is re"arded( That.s not to say that "e "ill eliminate
pain!, but "e "ill cut it short, and create a hea%en on earth for oursel%es "hen "e do the
right thing by oursel%es and by our fello" human tra%elers through this %eil( @et.s go
back for a minute to that e#ample of the parent slapping the child in the store back in the
1DJ0s, 1DK0s or 1DF0s( Sirtually e%ery adult "ho %ie"ed such an act, felt it in their gut(
They ne" that "hat they "ere seeing "as unacceptable beha%ior( ,ut, they did nothing
about it( 1till, their stomachs "ere their barometers of truth( Today, many more of them
listen to their instincts and take the appropriate action(
,ut, let.s be realistic( The appropriate action is not to berate the errant parent(
That "ould only be doling out the same negati%e beha%ior( 1ome might -uietly
admonish the parent e#plaining to them that that is unacceptable beha%ior( ,ut, you
kno" "hat9 There is an e%en better "ay( sk yourself, if you are a child of an ll-
@o%ing $od.s creation, and they are a child of an ll-@o%ing $od.s creation, and you
kno" that such beha%ior is "rong!4then "ho else kno"s that, too9 1o, if they kno" it,
instincti%ely in their o"n gut, "ouldn.t it be best to simply ask them4Why are you
hitting your child9! No matter "hat their response is, couldn.t pursuing that line of
-uestioning bring them around to the reali&ation that they don,t "ant to be hitting their
child9 That they don.t "ant to be out-of-step "ith society9 7ouldn.t it raise their o"n
self-perception about ho" to deal appropriately "ith their frustrations and ho" they "ant
to interact "ith their o"n, lo%ed, child9 Wouldn.t this be the lo%ing "ay to help your
fello" human being9 )f "e all li%ed our li%es in this manner, could "e help the "orld
a%oid another 1eptember 11
th
9
@et.s look at the root cause, again, for a moment( Why does a child, not yet
conditioned by appropriate beha%ior! strike another child in their frustration9 8ou
kno", before "e teach them that it.s "rong to hit another person9 )sn.t it because their
Will "as th"arted9 )sn.t it because they are not getting "hat they "ant9 1omeone else
has interfered "ith "hat they "ant( 1o they flash hot, and reach out and strike the other
out of feelings of frustration at not kno"ing "hat to do to get their "ay9 )s that going to
achie%e "hat they "anted in the first place9 1ay the other child took their toy, and they
"ant it back( 1o, in anger, they strike out at the one "ho took their toy( nd, they get
their toy back( 5ission accomplished( ll is "ell "ith the "orld4right9 +r, is it likely
that the other child "ill hit back4and once again take the toy a"ay( )sn.t this the adult
"orld "e are li%ing in9 )s this ho" "e "ant it to be9 +r, is there another "ay4a better
"ay9 We tell our children that to hit another to get their toy back is unacceptable( Then
"e introduce the concept of sharing!, right9 What sort of "orld "ould this be if "e
adults introduced the concept of sharing9 1haring the "orld.s food9 1haring the "orld.s
resources9 1haring the "orld.s land masses9 7ould "e eliminate "ar!9 )sn.t "ar!
simply adults hitting! to take "hat they "ant9 )s there a better "ay9
Therefore, do not be an#ious(((your hea%enly /ather kno"s that you need them
all(((and all these things shall be yours, as "ell,! the 5aster told us(
W(*T C*N WE =3O?@
What can "e do!9 N+T')N$ in furtherance of that "hich "e desire(
,ecause, in desiring! it, and thereby taking actions to cause it to happen blocks it from
happening( )t is as if the act of pursuing a particular outcome ackno"ledges that other
outcomes are possible(
,ut, if one can ele%ate one.s consciousness to a le%el of %)#W&)G <in ad%ance=
that $od "ill deli%er all things desired(((as long as they are not anticipated!(
nticipation is like hope! -- a state of not being sure( Doubt, therefore, enters in and
becomes the great un-doer(
No meddling allo"ed in $od.s "ork0
8ou can.t do! to get "hat you "ant( 8ou can only be! "hat you "ant, because,
you are not a human doing!, you are a human being!( When you do! things to get
"hat you "ant, you are accepting that you do not no" ha%e it!(
When you accept! that you already have those miracles you desire in your life,
you ackno"ledge that they are already there in place -- "hether seen or unseen(
When you declare to the :ni%erse that something is <meaning it is true= regardless
of out"ard appearances, $od has no choice but to gi%e you that "hich you declare(
>emember "hen my father.s oncologist declared that my father.s death "as
imminent, ) declared that *ust the opposite "as true9 ) declared to that doctor and his
staff, and out loud to the :ni%erse that 5y father is no" cured!( nd then, ) put it out
of my mind( No "ondering if it could come true( No "orrying( ?ust a -uiet acceptance
that my declaration "as absolutely true and already a done deal(
) didn.t ha%e to ask! $od again(((for the %ery act of asking $od a second time
"ould only be e%idence that ) didn.t belie%e <kno"= the first time( )f ) "ould d"ell on or
look for! a particular miraculous outcome(((it "ould ne%er come( The act! of looking
implies anticipation!(((or, in other "ords, "hen one is looking for! something, one is
ackno"ledging that it hasn.t happened yet!(((so it ne%er can( ll that "orks -- miracle-
"ise -- is to know in your heart that that "hich you "ant is already a done deal(((and, it is(
Then, "hen it finally manifests -- "hether it is in the ne#t J minutes, or in an hour, or in a
year, you "on.t be surprised( 8ou "ill be calm and un-surprised, "hile e%erybody else
around you is *umping up in *ubilation proclaiming an unbelie%able miracle(
'o" can you be! instead of doing!9 ,y simply acceptin in advance that your
miracle is so( That it has already happened, "hether you see any out"ard e%idence of it
or not, and not be an#ious to %isibly see! the manifestation, because you kno" in your
heart-of-hearts that it is already a done deal(
) kne" this instincti%ely, e%en before ha%ing it spelled out for me by $od in Neale
Donald Walsch.s books(
1
)t is "hat $od had sho"n me "ith the G months and G "eeks of
free meals( )t "as "hat ) e#perienced "hen ) "as do"n to my last PJ, turned my fate
o%er to $od, and instantly recei%ed the miracle of P2J0,000(
1o, "hen the doctor declared my father a "alking dead man!, ) merely stated my
truth -- 5y father is cured0! nd, he "as( ,ut, no, "e didn.t see the e%idence of the
cure that day, or the ne#t, or the day after that( )t "as a year %irtually to the day that the
doctor tracked me do"n at the Na%y during desert 1torm to tell me of the miracle!( s
you "ill remember, ) "asn.t surprised( )t "asn.t ne"s! to me( ) had kno"n it "as a
done deal for the entire year that it "as manifesting(
1 Friendship With God, ppgs 11H-122
We can.t W)T!0
ll "e can do, is belie%e(((and belie%ing! is trusting $od( Trusting that 'e will
do it((("hate%er it is "e need done, and ha%e asked $od for in prayer( nd, kno" that
$od doesn.t need anything from us( 1itting back, and "atching isn.t a good idea, either,
because then "e ha%en.t really let go( We must let go( That is our *ob( We say, Thank
you!, and then "e turn our attention to something else( We can stay busy( We don.t ha%e
to do nothing( ,ut, "e must do somethin else( /ocus on something else( 6ut the
;miracle matter. out of our mind(
No one is saying that is easy to do( )n fact, it is one of the hardest things to do( )t
is hard, because it is important to you( 1o, you ha%e to make it un-important( )f your
focus is, truly, that $od has it in hand, then it &S behind you0 1o(((there is nothing to
think about0 The matter is settled( )t is, already, resol%ed, and resol%ed in your
fa%or(((e%ery time( ?ust by belie%ing it is(
)n times of trouble, ) sometimes lose myself, and forget these so important
lessons( ) "orry( ) fret( ).m human, too, after all( nd, then ) re-member( ) am
supposed to ;forget about it.( Then, ) laugh at myself for being so silly as to get all
"orked up o%er something ) ha%e no control o%er any"ay( ) think back to the preceding
days, "eeks, months, and e%en years that ) struggled "ith a problem, and tried to sol%e it
myself(((and ).m ashamed( shamed, that ) lost the faith( shamed, that ) forgot the
lessons(
The 3anger of Caring and Wanting
C*8:NG
@et me put this most dangerous of problems in an e#ample( @et.s say you ha%e
children "hom you lo%e %ery much( 8ou want nothing but the best for them( 8ou really
care about them( ,ecause you care so much and "ant nothing but the best for your
children, you might take steps to see if you can.t control that outcome( 8ou may try to
direct! your children, and their beha%ior, to help insure that they achie%e all that you
"ant them to be(
This direction! may be e#pressed as <in your mind= guidance!( ,ut, to your
children, it may seem like you are pushing them around!, or trying to reli%e your life
through theirs!( Worse, "hile you feel you are moti%ated by trying to be helpful, "hat
you are really doing is demonstrating that you do not belie%e your children can make it
on their o"n!, or "orse yet, demonstrating a lack of faith in your children to do the right
thing on their o"n!(
The result of all of this parental guidance! is to rob your children of their self-
respect(((of their belief in themsel%es( No human being can stand such control! for long,
and before you kno" it, they are rebelling against all of your good efforts( They start
doing the e#act opposite of "hat you are trying to get them to do(
This only leads to your o"n frustration, and you try harder to get them to obey
you for their o"n good!( Which, of course, dri%es them further in the opposite
direction( 8our frustration turns to anger(
@et.s interrupt the story at this point and understand anger!( When "e get angry,
"e think "e are angry "ith the person "ho has caused! our anger( We *ust can.t seem to
get them to do things the "ay we "ant them done( ,ut, the truth is -- "e are ne%er angry
"ith the other person0 We are al"ays only angry "ith oursel%es( We are angry that "e
can.t seem to figure out ho" to get our "ay! "ith another person( Not getting our
"ay! frustrates us( We think our cause is *ust(((our methods fair(((our reasons noble( ,ut,
"e *ust can.t seem to get a handle on "hat to do to achie%e our aim( 1o, "e get mad( We
may e%en holler at the other person "ho is not being cooperati%e!( We may e%en lash
out and hit them(((out of our frustration( ,ut(((you kno" "hat9 )t is never them "ho
make us angry( )t is al"ays us0 We are really mad at oursel%es for our inability to get
our "ay!(
h, 'a0 1o, "hat then is the "ay to achie%e our goals9 'o" can "e get others --
like, say, our children in the e#ample abo%e -- to do "hat "e kno" is best for them9
That.s easy0 ?ust remember that this is the back"ards planet(
7aring! is the culprit0 7aring! is the bad guy in this scenario( When "e care!
about something or someone else, "e try and force our intentions on it( That act of
caring! is not a good act( )t is a bad act( )t demonstrates a lack of faith in the other
thing or other human being( s my friend ?oe "ould say, Think about it!( )f "e
e#pected our children to inherently kno" right beha%ior from "rong beha%ior, "e
"ouldn.t feel compelled to direct their beha%ior, "ould "e9 Why don.t you belie%e in
advance in your o"n children9 fter all, they came from good stock, didn.t they(((being
birthed from your o"n loins9
hhhhh(((maybe you "ere brought up by parents "ho e#pected only the "orst
from you9 nd, ).ll bet, they beat you into submission, didn.t they9
'o" do children learn right from "rong, good from bad, acceptable beha%ior
from unacceptable9 ).ll tell you ho" -- They learn by "atching their parents((((period0 )f
you are an o%erbearing parent, ) know your parents "ere(((and ) can predict "here your
children "ill end up on that measurement scale(((don.t )9 They.ll bully their o"n kids, in
turn, "on.t they9
@ife is so simple "hen you reali&e that e%erything in life is back"ards( Therefore,
all "e ha%e to do is re%erse the process and e%erything "ill turn out all right(
'ere.s the process2 <1= 1tart out believin in your children, and al"ays e#pect
that they "ill do the %ery best they can( <2= ,e an e#ample to your children -- not the
%oice of authority( @i%e your life the %ery best you can -- don.t drink until you are
literally out of your mind -- don.t get angry and abuse the ones you lo%e -- don.t get
frustrated that things aren.t going your "ay(((be patient(((and they "ill go the "ay you are
demonstrating to your children ho" to li%e successfully(((by N+T caring!( <G= >eali&e
that your children came to earth not kno"ing anything, so they look to you for an
e#ample of ho" to act, ho" to beha%e, ho" to control frustrations, "hat to belie%e in,
etc(, etc((((and they.re not going to get it right the first time, or the second, and possibly
not e%en the third time they try out their feelings, emotions, perceptions, etc( fter all,
they are in a learnin mode( ,ut, the more you demonstrate faith(((lo%e(((belief in
$od(((belief in them(((the -uicker they "ill learn the life skills that "ill ensure their
ultimate success as adults0
The first thing ) al"ays told each of my kids "as, ) don.t care "hat grades you
get in school(((*ust as long as you are trying your best(! nd, truthfully, ) didn.t
care999because their grades really "eren.t important to me( What ) "as interested in "as
<a= eliminating the outside pressure on them so that school "ould be a friendly
e#perience, and <b= ) "anted them to kno" that they "ere safe! at home( ) kne" that the
outside "orld "ould treat them roughly( Lids can be pretty mean, teachers can be unfair,
employers can be %ery selfish( 1o home! "as their safe ha%en "here they "ere not
going to be *udged!( ) instincti%ely kne" that if they felt safe and happy and accepted at
home, they could take anything the "orld "ould dish out( ,ut, con%ersely, ) also kne"
that if they felt confrontation at home, home could be their least secure feeling place and
really scre" them up0
).m proud that all of my children did "ell in school and got decent grades(((but )
still don.t care( )t.s not important to me( 'o"e%er, ) take great delight and satisfaction in
seeing ho" "ell-balanced and "ell-rounded, and lo%ing, and kind they are as adults(
nd, most importantly, ho" self-confident they are( When my youngest daughter calls
me to tell me about a big sale she.s made, and goes through all of the gory details of ho"
she plotted and strategi&ed to land the big one!, ).m popping my buttons because ) kne"
she could do it all along( 1he didn.t need my help( ll she needed "as my belief in her0
W*NT:NG
Wanting something %ery badly is the same trap( 1ometimes "e "ant something
so %ery, %ery badly that "e.ll take almost any action to attain it( Why, ) can e%en imagine
a scenario "here someone might "ant a great deal of money so badly, that, if it is
escaping them, they might e%en thro" caution to the "ind and stoop to any means to
attain it( They might rationali&e that they deser%e it so much that they ha%e the right to
take someone else.s money(((and find themsel%es in the predicament of ha%ing to take a
gun and shoot someone else in order to take their money for their o"n(
) think you, and the rest of the "orld, "ould label these people criminals!( ,ut,
*ust "ho are criminals!, any"ay9 re they de%iant beings from another planet dropped
mysteriously in our midst9 +r are they *ust simply human beings trying their best to get
along in a "orld that appears to be depri%ing them9 re they so frustrated o%er their lot
in life, that they feel un-lo%ed!, and feel they need to strike out at their fello" human
beings to get a piece of the action!9
1ome police officers "ould ad%ise you to *ust gi%e a robber your "allet and don.t
put up any resistance( Their rationale is that your life may be at stake and you can al"ays
replace your "allet and its contents, but you can.t replace your life if they shoot you
because you resisted(
+kay( That.s one train of thought( 7hrist had another(((that goes to the same
non-defensi%e-action!( 7hrist counseled that if someone "ould accost you and demand
your "orldly goods, you should gi%e it to them unto the %ery shirt on your back, because
--if "e truly lo%e our fello" man as "e lo%e oursel%es -- "e "ould not "ant our fello"
man to go "ithout( We "ould want to gi%e him the shirt off our backs(
8ou see, the action is the same( The robber demands "hat you.%e got, and you
gi%e it to him "ithout a struggle( ,ut, here.s the difference2 )f you gi%e it up "illingly
out of fear for your %ery life(((you.%e truly lost something( ,ut, if you gi%e it up "illingly
because you "ant to help your fello" man(((you.%e gained peace of mind and a good
feeling about "ho you are(((and you "ill feel "ealthier than you did "ith that money in
your "allet(((and you.%e gained the "orld and all of the "isdom in it(
$od says, in Neale Donald Walsch.s books, that if you want something, that.s
"hat 'e "ill gi%e you -- the experience of wantin( :nderstand "hat this means( 'e
doesn.t gi%e you the thing you think you want -- 'e gi%es you the experience of wantin
it(
Why "ould $od do that((("hen 'e kno"s ho" badly "e think "e "ant that
particular thing9 )t.s simple, really( $od promises in 5ark 1122J that 'e "ill gi%e us
anythin "e desire and belie%e "e "ill get( Think of $od this "ay -- Think of $od as a
$enie in a @amp "ho grants all "ishes( 'e has no choice( The ans"er can ne%er be
No!( 'e has promised that 'e "ill gi%e us e%erything and anything that "e belie%e 'e
"ill(
)f that.s the case(((and this book is in your hands as a testament to the fact that it
is(((then "hat.s going on here9
What.s going on is that $od cannot -- or will not -- countermand your decisions
about your life(
)f you want something, then you must percei%e that you don.t ha%e it, and
probably can.t find a "ay for yourself to get it( 1o, you determine that you ha%e to get it
from $od if you.re e%er going to ha%e it( 1o, you ask 'im for it(((fer%ently0 ,ut, since
you don.t already have it, you think your odds of getting it are pretty slim to non-
e#istent(((right9 C%en if you ask $od, because, after all, $od hasn.t performed any
miracles in thousands of years, and besides, you are so small and insignificant, "hy
"ould $od "aste his time on your petty problems "hen he.s got a "hole "orld of
problems to sol%e for far more important people than you(((right9 ,esides, if $od was
going to pro%ide ne#t month.s rent for you, that you so desperately "ant and need, 'e
"ould ha%e taken care of it by no"((("ouldn.t 'e ha%e90
)s that the rationale running through your mind(((e%en as you ask $od for your
miracle in prayer9 'o" does it go9 1omething like(((!+h, please, please, $od, deli%er
my ne#t month.s rent to me because ) am so destitute and ) WA)* it so badly( ) promise )
"ill be good( ) "ill try and lo%e that old bag ne#t door if you really "ant me to( +h, )
kno" "hat a terrible sinner ) am and ho" un"orthy ) am of 8our help, but, please,
please, please, gi%e me the money because ) "ant it so much0!
'e ans"ers that prayer, too( 'e *ust simply gi%es you "hat you e#pect -- the
wantin for ne#t month.s rent(
Well, ho" the heck is this miracle thing supposed to "ork any"ay90! you might
ask(
) "ould ans"er that, if it is truly a miracle you are after, ho" about simply asking $od to
put ne#t month.s rent in your mailbo#(((and you don.t take any action -- N+> W+>>8 --
about ho" it.s going to get there90
Whoa0 That takes a stretch of the imagination, doesn.t it90 Do Nothing90! you
argue "ith me( That doesn.t make any sense in the practical, real "orld at all, does it90
) can do N+T')N$ to ad%ance my o"n desires999! 1ure you can( 8ou can <1= sk
$od in prayer, and then <2= ,elie%e that 'e does and W)@@ ans"er your prayer, and <G=
8ou can go about your daily busy-ness and /+>$CT about your re-uest so that you don.t
start talking yourself <and $od= out of getting it0
That.s a tall order, isn.t it90 That "ould take an enormous amount of absolute
blind faith0 ,ut, isn.t that "hat faith! is9 8ou don.t ha%e to ha%e faith, of course( 8ou
can go on li%ing your life as if $od isn.t a part of it( nd you "on.t get the prayer you
"ant( nd, you can go on trying to take care of yourself, and wantin a better life and
not getting it( That.s okay( That.s ho" you.%e been li%ing all of these years( 8ou.re used
to not getting your heart.s desires, aren.t you9 8ou.re used to slugging it out in the
trenches all by yourself(((aren.t you9 Leep going do"n that road and you could e#pend
your entire life worryin and strulin to make ends meet until you are a sour old prune
bitter on life and the "orld, and maybe e%en hating $od for ha%ing made your life the
"retched miserable e#istence it "as for all of your H0 years on planet earth( 8ou can do
that( That.s the easy "ay out( ,ut, if one of your goals in life "as to figure out ho" to
make it "ork the "ay you.d like((("hat "ould it hurt to gi%e $od a chance9
No, ).m not saying it is an easy lesson to learn and e%en harder <if not impossible=
to in%oke in your life( ,ut, if you can dig deep do"n inside of yourself and find the true
"ellsprings of absolute faith in the lmighty(((and teach yourself to trust 'im to the point
that you can say Thank 8ou! before you get your miracle(((and then lea%e it alone((("alk
a"ay, mentally, from your desire and *ust lea%e it in $od.s 'ands(((and )#* WA)* it,
and (#),* (# anything yourself to get it((($uess "hat9 )t "ill drop in your lap like
manna from hea%en( 6romise(
) can hear your argument already(((!+h, ).m afraid ) can.t buy into that0! you.re
saying( nd, you couldn.t be more true to yourself by saying that(((because, you see,
"hen you say, ).m afraid!(((that is e#actly right( Fear )1 stopping you from belie%ing in
an ll-@o%ing, ll-$i%ing $od( Notice that ) didn.t say an ll-/orgi%ing! $od( ) said
an ll-$i%ing! $od( >ead your ,ible or your Torah or your Loran a little closer( $od
does not forgi%e! because, from 'is perception, "e are all of us 'is dear, dear children
"hom 'e lo%es unconditionally( 'e *udges us not, lest "e be *udgmental(
:nconditional @o%e! means *ust that0 @o%e that is gi%en "ithout any condition or
*udgment made(
When ) "as *ust a boy, ) came to the conclusion that $od must be a figment of
mankind.s imagination( fter all, ho" could an ll-@o%ing $od allo" the "orld to be in
the mess it is, ) reasoned9 No, ) came to the conclusion that in%enting a $od-like all-
protecting figure "as mankind.s "ay of "histling in the dark to get past the beasts at the
ca%e door( )t took me a lifetime and some pretty e#traordinary e#periences to find out
*ust ho" "rong ) "as( The truth is, the "orld is the shape it.s in because "e -- all of us in
our fears -- ha%e created it thus( )f "e "ant to straighten it out, ) think "e.re going to
ha%e to $o :pstairs for a little help(
We can create a hea%en for oursel%es right here on earth( We can do it )/ "e
belie%e "e can( nd, the place to start is to start taking care of our fello" man( ,e kind
to one another( ,e especially kind to those "ho don.t appear to deser%e it( /eed your
fello" man(((contribute to their food( We ha%e enough food on planet earth to feed
e%erybody plenty( We *ust ha%e a really poor distribution system0 'a%e you enough food
to eat today9 'a%e you enough left o%er to gi%e some to someone "ho is really hungry9
8es, high-speed )nternet "ould be a nice ad*unct to your ne" computer(((but if you ha%e
enough to eat, "hich "ould be a better e#penditure of your e#cess discretionary money --
high-speed modem access(((or a P2 meal for a hungry child some"here else in merica or
o%erseas9
) ha%e heard it said that if all of the peoples of the earth could go to bed nightly
"ith a full stomach, "e could eliminate "ar from the planet( 1eems like a small thing to
do for such a great return on our in%estment, doesn.t it9
3O NOT D5OOK> !O8 /O18 $:8*C5E
This ;miracle business. is an e#acting busy-ness( The "hole concepts hinges on
/aith( ,ut, faith is not something that comes easily to fearful human beings( )n order to
;get. a miracle, one has to believe that it has already happened( Therefore, if you ask $od
in prayer for a particular miracle, and then look for it to happen4it won,t happen0
Why not, you ask9 ,ecause the %ery act of lookin is not anticipation, it is
seeking reassurance that it will happen at some point in the future4or not0 )n fact4as
you look, you are sort of "ondering if it will happen4"hich means that you are not
absolutely 100Q sure that it "ill0 That is a demonstration to yourself that you really
don.t belie%e that such a great big freebie can or "ill happen0 nd, the more you look,
the more you doubt( 8ou doubt yourself, you doubt $od, and you doubt your miracle
"ill actually happen0 ;Doubt. is fear, e#pressed( Doubt is a lack of faith( Doubt is
failing to belie%e in your miracle coming to pass(
s ) look back and reflect upon the "ondrous miracles ) ha%e recei%ed, ) note
that, in each instance, ) @et go and let $od!( Take my father.s cancer, for e#ample(
When ) told the doctor that my father "as cured, that "as an absolute for me( ) ne%er
thought about it, or "ondered about it or "hen it "ould occur4again( /or me, it had
already been done because there "as no acceptable alternati%e( ) knew my father to be
cured at that moment4"hether any of us could see the cure, or not( That didn.t matter(
ll that mattered "as that it "as done0
) "ent about my life and ne%er ga%e my father.s illness another thought( When
"e "ould take him to the hospital for radiation treatments, ) never thought that "e "ere
doing anything in furtherance of the miracle happening( To me, it "as *ust motions "e
"ere going through( 5y attitude "as e%en one of ;humoring. the doctors( ) ne%er
e#pected that the radiation "ould ha%e any causal bearing on my father.s cure( We "ere
*ust going through the motions to help ease his pain and ;follo"ing doctor.s orders.(
fter all, ) *ust knew at the moment ) called my father.s ;cure. into ;being. that it "as a
done deal( Therefore, there "as nothin about it to look for4nothing to anticipate( )t
"as already a done deal( ) didn.t feel the need to call him up and ask him ho" he "as
feeling that day, or ask the doctor to take #-rays to pro%e that the miracle had taken place(
)f the doctors had taken the #-rays, ) "ould not ha%e bothered to look at them because
they held no information for me0 ) "ouldn.t ha%e cared if the cancer "as sho"ing up on
the #-rays, or not( 5y father was cured4and that.s all ) needed to kno"0 & needed no
reassurances0 1o, there "as nothing in this "orld to ;look. for(
,ut, there ha%e been other times "hen ) wanted something so badly that ) *ust
couldn.t let go( 5y soft"are company "as failing( nd, oh, ) "anted so much for it to
succeed( )t "as failing so much that my home of 2F years "as in *eopardy of being
foreclosed upon( The %ery last thing in life that ) "ould ha%e "anted "ould ha%e been to
lose my house( ) "as so close to losing it, in fact, that ) "orried about it constantly( )
kne" better, of course, but it "as sort of like being too close to the forest to see the trees(
C%en though ) knew ho" to get miracles, ) still failed myself( Did you catch that9
Whene%er our miracles don.t happen, "e ha%e a tendency to see it as $od letting us
do"n, don.t "e9 ,ut, since $od is infallible and "e see oursel%es as fallible, it occurs to
me that we are the ones not keeping the faith and therefore, "e oursel%es un-do our o"n
miracles(
'ere "as the truth about the pending foreclosure that "as right before my eyes(
This truth "as so ob%ious that ) mar%eled o%er it4"ithout understanding its
implications( When one gets behind in one.s monthly mortgage payment, the mortgage
company is -uick to *ump on that lack of payment and start threatening to repossess the
home, and their legal department is -uick to start the foreclosure process(
5y $reat-$reat-$reat :ncle bought a G-story "ood frame home in 7hippa"a
/alls, Wisconsin in about 1HJ0 for P100( That "as a fortune back then( 'e took a bank
loan <mortgage= for the sale price and his monthly mortgage payment "as P1( +ne month
he "as 1J minutes late "ith his one dollar payment, and the bank refused to accept his
money, and foreclosed immediately taking the home a"ay from him and booting him out(
1ince then, Wisconsin has become one of the more progressi%e 1tates and has
la"s in place that gi%e the homeo"ner a K-month period of grace to catch up on their
mortgage payments before a person can be foreclosed on( ny mortgage broker "ill tell
you that, "ith the right legal maneu%ers, a person behind in their mortgage payments can
stretch the process out for about 1W years before being e%icted(
Well, ) asked $od to sa%e my home from foreclosure( nd, ) thought ) "as doing
it right( ) kept the faith4or so ) thought( The months of making no house payments
stretched out into years( The mortgage company "ent through all the traditional steps to
take my house( ,ut, at one point, after they had started the foreclosure process "herein
they had boosted my interest rate from HW Q to 20Q and ) "as struggling to make my
normal house payment, they sent me a letter saying that my credit had been so good
before my business started to fail, they had reconsidered and "ere no" offering me a ne"
mortgage at only 11Q interest rate( That ga%e me some hope because the interest
payment "as being dropped in half, so ) immediately signed the ne" mortgage
documents and sent them off( That looked like the ans"er to my prayer(
Then ) "aited4and "aited4and "aited, but the monthly mortgage bills kept
coming at the higher rate( ) stopped trying to make payments as they "ere "ay beyond
my ability( ) began to worry about "here my ne" payment structure "as( 1i# months
later ) recei%ed another letter from the mortgage company telling me that they had
changed their mind and "eren.t going to honor the ne" mortgage afterall( They
e#plained that the idea for it had come from a progressi%e %ice president in their
company, and that the president had changed his mind, fired the %ice president and "as
rescinding my ne" mortgage( ) couldn.t belie%e my eyes( 'adn.t $od arranged for this
to sa%e my home from foreclosure, ) "ondered( fter all, ho" could they do this4) had
a signed contract4signed by me and them0 1o, ) stopped asking for Di%ine $uidance
and ) took them to 7ourt to assert my rights and asked the 7ourt to enforce my ne"
mortgage contract(
The 7ourt "as unsympathetic and found against me, and ordered me to pay all of
the arrears at the higher rate, or be e%icted0
) "as dumbfounded( ) couldn.t belie%e my ears( s a rule, Wisconsin is a most
liberal 1tate "ith hundreds of la"s and 7ourt decisions supporting the consumer( )
continued to pray4o%er and o%er again4for my home to be sa%ed from the money-
lenders( ,ut, then, ) looked to see the out"ard %estiges of my miracle( When it "asn.t
coming to pass, ) "ondered aloud to $od in the pri%acy of my little home Why it wasn,t
happenin: ) didn.t reali&e that that "as my un-doing(
C%entually the mortgage lender pre%ailed and ) "as e%icted from my home( ,ut,
and here.s the part that 4"as right before my eyes( The truth "as so ob%ious that )
mar%eled o%er it4"ithout understanding its implications!( ) "as in my home for E years
before being e%icted0 )f you "ere to ask me today "hat happened to allo" me to stay an
additional 2W years beyond the legal limit, ) couldn.t tell you( ll ) can imagine is that
$od "as holding up the process "aiting for me to get my faith! act together( nd,
finally, ) failed $od and myself( ) can remember the day like it "as yesterday( ) "as
sitting ne#t to my phone pondering "hat more & could do to sta%e off the foreclosure, and
) came to the reali&ation that this process couldn;t go on fore%er( nd, ) said to $od, )
don.t kno" ho" much longer ) can hang on( 1urely ) must lose the house!( s those
"ords escaped my lips, the phone rang and ) "as told that time "as up( ) had one "eek
to lea%e the house or the 1heriff "ould physically remo%e me0
) bitterly reflected on that moment for many years after still wonderin "hy God
had let me do"n0 ) e%en imagined that there "as a bigger lesson in faith that ) "as to
learn by the e#perience( ) "as right( fter ) got some time and distance behind me on
the e#perience, and the "ound had healed, it struck me like a bomb0 God hadn.t failed
me4) had failed $od by not keeping the faith0 ) truly belie%e the lesson for me in that
e#perience "as to ha%e a practical demonstration to share "ith you to further refine the
rules! for getting a miracle(
) "ent through a period of ;lack. for about K years( ll the time ) mar%eled at "hy
$od "asn.t helping me as 'e had in the past( )t "asn.t until ) recogni&ed and
remembered the mistakes of faith that ) had caused that ) finally "oke up(
Lno"ing!
The (ighe&t Order of Belief
)f there.s a trick! to getting miracles, here it is --
Whene%er ) try and be logical in trying to make my desires happen, ) fail(
Whene%er ) *ust turn it o%er to $od and @et $o, and don.t be logical, it al"ays comes to
pass(
No", this is the hardest least desirable of all actions0 We want to think "e.re
smart, capable, intelligent, talented, logical, enthusiastic(((and "e "ant to belie%e that
there is order to the chaos, that function follo"s form, that there is cause and effect, and
that "e are players! in the game of life(
,ut, that is our undoing( Nothing is logical e#cept that $od is @@ and "e are
nothing( Not a participant in our o"n li%es CX7C6T for our ,C@)C/ system00000
!very time "e take action, "e lose( !very time "e don,t take action to help
oursel%es, but turn it o%er to and trust $od(((it always happens0
CON!1S:ON 8E:GNS
) ha%e been some"hat confused from time to time o%er the years as to ho" "e
can or cannot participate in our o"n li%es, yet still ha%e $od "orking 'is miracles in our
li%es( ctually, this is more a -uestion of our interference "ith $od.s "ork that blocks
our miracles %ersus "hat "e are allo"ed to do, or not do, in our daily li%ing3"orking to
not interfere "ith $od.s handi"ork(
/or, the basic principle is that, "hen "e try to do for oursel%es, $od cannot do for
us( ,ut, "hen "e relin-uish control and merely belie%e that $od "ill make it all come
out the "ay "e intend for it to, 'e "ill see that the miracle happens and "e "ill get that
"hich "e belie%e 'e "ill deli%er(
1o, the first premise is easy( sk, and ye shall recei%e4but only if "e belie%e-in-
ad%ance that the miracle "ill happen( )t.s after that point that the trouble begins( @et.s
follo" along "ith an e#ample(
@et.s say you "ant something( 1omething important to you( great bi something
that seems it is too much to hope for( No", you understand the principle that you can
ha%e "hat you desire if you ask $od and belie%e-in-ad%ance that 'e "ill deli%er your
miracle re-uest( ,:T0 8ou also kno" that you are to turn the "orrying o%er to $od, too,
and not fuss and fume o%er the problem, because that is sho"ing a lack-of-faith( ,ut
then, the inertia sets in( What can ) do!, you ask yourself( )f you go for"ard doing
your daily tasks that you ha%e asked help for, are you interfering "ith $od.s "ork by
demonstrating a lack-of-faith9 No, you rationali&e, ) can do my daily deeds4*ust as long
as ) lea%e the sol%ing3solution to $od( ,ut, ho" is that possible, you suddenly reali&e9
ny action you take "ill be in the furtherance of that "hich you "ish for, so isn.t that
sho"ing a lack-of-faith9 1till, on the other hand, ho" can you do nothing90
'ere is the ans"er( 5an says that $od ans"ers all miracles "hen man belie%es in
$od.s grace to deli%er the re-uested miracle4in ad%ance of any proof( ,ut, $od phrases
it differently( $od says 'e is ll-@o%ing, but man is ll-/earing( 5an "ill get his
miracles "hen he understands and accepts "hat ll-@o%ing! means and )1( ll-@o%ing
is the e#act opposite of ll-/ear( /ear is being afraid that $od doesn.t e#ist4or $od
"on.t be all-lo%ing enough to grant each and e%ery re-uest( /ear is manifested as "orry(
Worry is the great un-doerB the great miracle-stopper( 1o, the -uestion becomes, ho" not
to "orry9 'o" to trust une-ui%ocally9
We can belie%e4but then, ho" do "e not fall into inertia and not participate in
our o"n daily li%es9 We must do!, "e rationali&e( Well, of curse, the ans"er is right
before our eyes( We don.t 'SC to D+ anything4and if "e don.t, $od promises to
deli%er our miracles right to our doorstep(
,ut, surely, "e argue, life is not for doing nothing90 )s it9 ) can be4if that.s
"hat you choose to do -- nothing at all( )f "e take that position, $od will deli%er( 'e
promises0
,ut, that.s not ho" "e "ant to li%e our li%es, is it -- sitting on our bottoms doing
nothing9 1o, if "e "ant to participate in our o"n li%es, but "e don.t "ant to interfere,
ho" can "e do both9
The ans"er, of course, is "e can do anything "e like( We can take action that
helps our cause!, or hurts our cause!( We *ust must not perceive that any action "e
take is contributing to our miracle one "ay or the other( 5aybe e%erything "e "ould do
"ould be the e#act "rong thing to do to make our miracle happen!( ,ut, as long as "e
are merely doing our daily grind "ith no e#pectation that anything "e are doing is
contributing to our miracle re-uest4in other "ords, if "e aren.t taking specific action in
furtherance of our miracle4*ust going about our daily tasks "ith no expectation of the
resultant outcome, then "e are not interfering "ith $od.s "ork(
)n other "ords, a higher order of belief! is in simply getting beyond belief all the
"ay to kno"ing!( 8ou see, "ith belief! there is an element of faith!, and faith! is
temporary by definition because the "ord itself implies that faith! is something that can
be lost -- here today, but maybe gone tomorro"( That is "hy man e#horts his fello" man
to keep the faith!4the implication being that maybe he could lose it( )f man is
immersed in /ear, as $od says he is, then, "hat to do, "hat to do9 What to do, or not to
do4that is the -uestion(
LN+W( That is "hat man can do to stay on the right side of the faith -uestion(
?ust simply LN+W( LN+W that $od e#ists( LN+W that $od ans"ers all prayers "hen
the 6rayer knows that $od will deli%er 'is miracle4e%en, and especially, in the face of
the impossibility of such a thing happening(
LN+Wing casts out all doubt( Lno"ing is not temporary( LN+Wing is
assuredness(
LN+Wing is the %ery highest order of faith(
T(E 1N!O8ESEEN $:8*C5E
C%en though ).%e been in%ol%ed in this miracle business for 20 years no", and
stopped counting my miracles "hen they reached around K00, ).m still learning ho" they
--$od and 'is miracles -- "ork( ?ust recently ) e#perienced a ne" kind of miracle -- The
:nforeseen 5iracle( :p until no", my miracles ha%e al"ays been in response to a
6rayer of Thanksgi%ing ).%e made for a particular outcome or need( ,ut $od says, C%en
before you ask, ) "ill ha%e ans"ered!(
/or the past J years, life has been a challenge, again( 5y soft"are business
failed( ) lost my home to foreclosure and my car to repossession( ) got in debt up to my
ears, and ) didn.t kno" "here my ne#t meal "as coming from( ,ut, "ith "hat some
people call insanity, but ) call faith, ) "ent for"ard as if all "ould be all right( When )
lost my home, ) took an apartment( 1ince ) didn.t ha%e any %isible means of support, )
had a friend co-sign for an apartment for me( nd, not a cheap one either( ) took a ne"
large one for PD00 a month( ) still had a 1F-year old beater of a car(((and ) had faith(
/aith that $od "ould someho" see me through(
1ee((("e.%e got this ;understanding. -- $od and me( ) tell 'im "hat ) "ant or
need and thank 'im for it in ad%ance, and 'e kno"s that the alternati%es are2 <1= Cither
'e pro%ides for my e#istence, or <2= 'e takes me back home!( nd, 'e kno"s, either
one is okay "ith me( ) tell 'im it.s 'is call( nd, 'e kno"s ) mean it(((sincerely( :p to
no", 'e has chosen to keep me ali%e(
1o, here ).%e been going from month to month, not necessarily kno"ing "here
ne#t month.s money is going to come from(((but "ith absolutely no doubt in my heart that
it will come(
) "alked into a car dealership a fe" months ago and asked them for a commission
sales *ob( They said they didn.t need anybody, but they also said they.d decided to take a
chance on me ) sold a customer e%ery day( That "as competiti%e "ith the best salesmen
in the business( )n the beginning, the sales manager said ) "as the luckiest guy he.d e%er
seen( fter a fe" "eeks, he modified that to ) "as the best salesman he.d e%er seen( +ne
day a customer came on the @ot, and ) approached him( 'e "as a rude nasty fello" "ho
said he.d been to the dealership before and that he absolutely refused to deal "ith any of
our salesmen because they "ere all so rude and mean to him( ) asked him to allo" me a
chance to ser%e him( nd, ) meant it( 'e agreed, but he "anted to buy a late model used
car for ridiculously lo" money( ) told him ) "ould try my %ery best( nd, ) meant it(
When ) returned to the 1ho"room, the sales manager "as at the door to greet me(
8ou.ll never get a sale off that guy,! he said( 'e.s been approached by e%ery salesman
"e.%e got( 'e.s a ;@ooker.((('e.ll ne%er buy anything(! nd, at that, all of the salesmen
laughed at me( ) "orked "ith that customer for a "eek( C%entually ) talked him do"n
into a little older car than he "anted, and he came up a little on "hat he "ould pay(((and
"e struck a deal( 'e dro%e off as a ;happy camper. in his ne" used car( The last thing he
said to me "as, Thank you for being so "illing to help me(! That "as the day the sales
manager stopped trying to tell me ) had a lot to learn! and asked me "hat my magic
"as( What he didn.t kno", and "hat ) found difficult to e#plain to him "as that it "asn.t
me( )t "as $od "orking miracles in my life(((as ) had asked 'im to( ,y putting the
responsibility for getting my sales off onto $od, that freed me up to *ust concentrating on
helping e%ery customer as best ) could, and not worryin about ettin a sale0 ) had t"o
customers "hose credit "as so bad that by rights they should ne%er ha%e been appro%ed
for a loan( ,ut, someho", $od came through and the magic happened for both of
them((("hich "as also a minor miracle for me, as "ell(
) had, by that time, been waitin for J months to hear if the 6ublisher "as going
to publish this book, and ) couldn.t understand "hy $od "as taking so long( nd, then it
struck me( ) had been waitin(((in ner%ous anticipation( T'C>C0 T'T "as the
problem( ) had been "aiting to hear, instead of thanking $od for hearing0 ) determined
to stop waitin( lmost immediately ) recei%ed an e-mail from the 6ublisher saying that
my manuscript ne%er arri%ed, and could ) please re-send it9 What a dope ) can be! )
laughed at myself for my ignorance( ) re-sent it immediately and they ackno"ledged
recei%ing it(
nd, then it happened( ) got an unforeseen miracle ) hadn.t e%en asked for(
) recei%ed an e-mail from a distant relati%e "ho said, $od "oke me up in the
middle of the night "ith a message for you( 'e told me ) "as to send you PJ,000(((not as
a loan, but as a gift( 1o, ).m putting the check in the mail today(!
) demurred telling my benefactor that ) didn.t need the money( ) had no need for
such a princely sum, ) told this relati%e "ho "as a"are of my recent circumstances( )
told my relati%e that "hile it "as true that ) "as li%ing from month-to-month "ithout
kno"ing "here my ne#t dollar "as coming from, that $od "ould pro%ide for me and ).d
earn the money ) needed somehow( 5y relati%e laughed at me and said, This money
isn.t from me(((it.s from God( 'e ga%e me the money that ) don.t need, and then told me
to gi%e it to you( 'e must ha%e some idea in mind "hat you need it for(!
) couldn.t argue against logic like that, so ) *ust graciously thanked my relati%e(
,ut, ) *ust couldn.t imagine "hat $od "anted me to do "ith all of that largess( s it
happens, ) had to lea%e the car sales *ob "hen o%erall business dropped in half and there
"eren.t enough customers to make a li%ing from( Thank $od for the largess0
TO W(O$ TO 78*/
5any people -- make that, 7hristians -- pray to ?esus to get their needs met( )s
there anything ;"rong. "ith that9 fter all, the miracles come from $od, don.t they9
nd, ) personally don.t belie%e that $od discriminates by fa%oring some people
<7hristians= o%er other -elievers(
1o, 'e "ould discriminate against 7hristians, either( 1o, it is perfectly fine to
pray to $od throuh ?esus(((or, ;)n ?esus.s Name.( )n fact, ?esus says that all may come
to $od and ask for 'is miracles( ,ut,! ?esus said <).m paraphrasing him=, )f you find
that you can.t face $od face-to-face(((that 'e is too a"esome(((then feel free to pray to
me and ) "ill take your plea to my /ather(! That.s "here that concept came from(
Whene%er T"o or 5ore re $athered in 5y Name!
?esus said, Whene%er t"o or more of you are gathered in my name((((! your
miracle re-uest "ill happen *ust that much faster and smoother( ) ha%e seen this truism in
action( When a group of people come together and pray and ask $od for some one
miracle, it is simply ama&ing ho" smoothly that "orks( The >ealtor story ) related
earlier is a prime e#ample( What ) belie%e ?esus meant by in my name! there "as that
"hene%er se%eral people all concentrate on one and the same miracle by belie%ing the
same "ay and therefore thanking $od in advance for the miraculous outcome they
en%ision, it happens ama&ingly fast and easy( nd, please remember, "hen "e talk about
a miracle, "e.re talking about the impossible( We.re not talking about a conse-uence of
some logical progression of human acts( We.re talking about curing cancer, or some
other impossibility( )mpossible, that is, by human logic, or human effort(
5iracles are $od.s daily gift to us( )t is "hat 'e does all day long, for
millions(((e%en billions of people around the globe( )t.s "hat he "ants to do( )t.s 'is
*ob!( There is no limit as to the number of miracles you can ask for( )n fact, "hat $od
"ould prefer is that "e commune "ith 'im e%ery day, all day long( 'e wants us to put
our faith in 'im and rely on 'im to pro%ide for us( 'e wants us to not do for oursel%es,
but turn to 'im for all of our needs( We *ust can.t interfere, and that.s "here human
beings, and some faith-based religions get it "rong( They not only seem to want to do
for themsel%es, they also, "hen they do turn to $od, "ant to tell +im ho" to do it( nd,
that is their un-doing( When you turn it o%er to $od -- T:>N )T +SC>0 $et out of the
"ay(
+f course, it.s not easy to do( )f it "as easy, it "ouldn.t re-uire a miracle0 'ere.s
my analogy for ho" it "orks2
6icture yourself steering a bus do"n a road cur%ing around a mountain( The bus
is you!, and the cur%ing road is your life!( No", in order to be on the >ight 1ide of
$od "ith your life, you must take your hands off the steering "heel and say, +kay,
$od(((Take )t0! and then trust that $od "ill steer your bus around the cur%es( ,ut, that.s
illogical, isn.t it9 8ou know if your hands aren.t on the "heel, the bus "ill straighten out
and dri%e off the side of the mountain, and you "ill surely crash and you "ill surely die0
)t "ould take an enormous amount of faith in $od to take your o"n hands off the "heel
of your life and allo" 'im to take o%er and steer around the cur%es, "ouldn.t it9
Cnormous9 'o" about fool-hardy9 'o" about stupid9 'o" about impossible90 fter
all, that action "ould defy all logic, "ouldn.t it9 ren.t "e supposed to take
responsibility for oursel%es9 )sn.t that "hat free will is all about9
) don.t belie%e so( Free "ill, to me, means that "e are free to choose either a life
belie%ing in $od(((or not( nd, the or not! spells nothing but trouble for us0 8es( )t is
not easy to take one.s hands off the "heel of responsibility for our o"n li%es( ,ut, are
your hands on the "heel "orking9 ) can assure you of this2 )f you don.t belie%e 100Q in
$od and $od.s pro-action in your life, please don.t take your hands off the "heel because
you "ill surely go off the side of the mountain( +nly those "ho sincerely believe may be
fool-hardy enough to take their hands off the "heel(((for they "ill know in advance that
all "ill be all right( nd, they shall be called the children of $od(!
Gift !ro# God
) ha%e a daughter, as ).%e mentioned, "ho has a musical talent( %irtual ;gift
from $od.( 1he "as able to play the %iolin from the moment she first touched it( )
belie%e each of us is endo"ed "ith a $ift from $od!( ) ha%e spent a lifetime trying to
figure out "hat my particular gift from $od is( /or most of my life, ) thought it "as the
;gift of gab. because ) ha%e al"ays been able to talk my "ay through, into or out of
anything( That.s "hy ) became a salesman(((because ) could con%ince anybody of "hat )
"anted to sell them( Why9 ,ecause ) could see the pure logic of any situation and make
a good case( ) got so good at sho"ing people that they "anted a particular product and
had already decided that they could afford it that ) "as able to sell e%ery customer e%ery
time( +thers scoffed at this claim( ,ut, ) got so good at it, that ) e%ol%ed a theory as to
ho" people come to a buying decision and e#tracted that buying decision out of them by
merely asking them a series of easily ans"ered -uestions that led them to the ine%itable,
uni%ersal truth(((and they "ould %olunteer to buy0 ) disco%ered years later that 1ocrates
had disco%ered this truism, too, G,000 years ago and he called his theory The 1ocratic
5ethod!( ) ha%e subse-uently taught this method to hundreds of salesmen in my o"n
companies, in other people.s companies, and through a local college( )t "orks
tremendously for e%erybody "ho learns the method(
,ut, as it turns out, talking! or selling! is not my forte.( 5y gift is intuiti%e
logic( That means that ) ha%e a gift for sensing! the truth of any gi%en situation and
sense "here e%erybody else is coming from in relationship to the truth( ) ha%e al"ays
had an ability to figure out pu&&les( ) used this gift in school to di%ine "hat the creator of
a particular test "as trying to accomplish, and then ) could ans"er the -uestions correctly
"ithout studying the material( s an adult, ) en*oyed playing "ith pu&&les until ) could
figure out the ;code., and then ) could sol%e it any time ) pleased "ith ease( The ;code. is
"hat the creator of the pu&&le used to create the pu&&le in the first place( fter )
con-uered cross"ord pu&&les, for e#ample, ) turned my attention to figuring out ho" the
cross"ord pu&&lemaker created the pu&&le in the first place( +nce ) figured that out, )
disco%ered ) could create my o"n cross"ord pu&&les(
There "as a pu&&le game called 5astermind!( +ne player "ould build a secret
code of colored buttons( There "ere multiple copies of K different colored buttons and
the other player "ould build a code using any combination of J buttons of any
combination of colors, e%en using multiples of the same color, if desired( The ob*ect of
the game "as for the one being tested to try and break the colored buttons code "ithin 12
tries( The other person "ould score ho" many buttons you got correct, but not re%eal in
"hich order the buttons had been placed, "hich also had to be figured out( 8ou had to
ha%e all of the correct colors and in their correct order( 1ometimes ) could break the code
in J mo%es( 1ometimes it took me all 12, but ) al"ays broke the code( Then ) put my
mind to figuring out ho" to break the code in one mo%e e%ery time( ) finally cracked the
code by lining up one of each color in the little holes, and staggering the colors off by one
position( This took K tries!( ,ut, once that "as scored, ) could break the code on the
%ery ne#t mo%e(
5y gift is one of intuiti%e logic(
No", "hat has all of this got to do "ith ;miracles., you might ask9 8es, ) ha%e
gotten miracles( @iterally hundreds of them( 1pecific, illogical, great big miracles from
$od(((on demand((("ithin the specified time frame( ,ut not e%ery time0 ) ha%e failed to
get as many miracles ) ha%e asked for as ) ha%e gotten( What "as the common
denominator, ) asked myself as to "hy ) "ould get certain miracles, and not others9 )
ha%e spent decades pu&&ling o%er this code!( ) came up "ith a hypothesis that, "hen )
"as able to employ it, produced a miraculous result e%ery time( ,ut, ) "asn.t al"ays able
to employ it0
Why not9! ) -uestioned myself( ) kne" that all that "as re-uired "as to belie%e
in ad%ance! that ) "ould get my miracle( ,ut, ) found that ) couldn.t al"ays attain that
le%el of faith e%ery time0
+f course, such ;failures. "ould breed doubt, and doubt is a product of fear, and
fear is the opposite of faith( ) kne" that( 1o, ) attempted on more than one occasion to
a%oid any self-recriminations( nd, ) "as fairly successful at that, but, unbekno"nst to
me, another factor entered into the picture that "as destroying my ability to command
miracles any time ) pleased(
)nterestingly, ) had the ans"er all along( )t "as e#pressed in %arious platitudes,
such as, @et $o and @et $od!, and 8ou ha%e to gi%e it up to get it!, etc( ,ut, "ithout a
deep understanding of ho" these truisms "ork, they are nothing but meaningless
platitudes(
+%er the years ) "ould %acillate in and out of miracle-getting!( ,ut then, in the
last years of the 20th 7entury, ) "ent through a particularly bad dry patch!( Nothing )
did could return me to those halcyon days of miracle-getting and ) "atched helplessly as
my life "ent do"n the drain(
/irst, my soft"are company "ith its beautiful soft"are product that e%erybody
recogni&ed the %alue of couldn.t make a cent0 )t crashed and burned( 1o, ) "ent looking
for a *ob( No one "ould gi%e me the time of day( ) couldn.t e%en get an inter%ie"( +nce
) forced an inter%ie" by sho"ing up on a banker.s doorstep "ith the ad%ertised *ob notice
in hand and demanded an inter%ie"(((and got it( nd, although ) "as absolutely brilliant
in the inter%ie", ) didn.t get the *ob0 <nd, this is the significant point here to this story0=
C%entually, ) lost my home of 2F years to foreclosure, my ne" car to
repossession, and teetered on the brink of bankruptcy( The only thing that kept me from
total financial ruin and sleeping in the park "as the fact that *ust as ).d get do"n to my
last fe" cents, some minor miracle "ould come along and "rench me back from the edge
of the precipice, and keep me ali%e for another month or t"o( ) ha%e li%ed this "ay for
o%er J years no"(
Why9! ) asked myself, W'890! Why "as ) able to glean one of these small
miracles at *ust the last moment, "hile the big successes that ) had at my fingertips kept
alluding me9 ) *ust couldn.t understand the logic! of it( Try as ) might, it alluded me(
The secret code "as right there before my eyes and ) *ust couldn.t see it0 )t turns out that
-- ) "as trying too hard0 ) "as trying! to be a success instead of being! a success0
fter all, "e are human ,C)N$1! not human T>8)N$1!0
@et me e#plain(
)f there.s a NcodeN to getting miracles, here it is --
Whene%er ) try and be logical in trying to make my desires happen, ) fail(
Whene%er ) *ust turn it o%er to $od and @et $o, and don.t be logical, and don.t
participate "ith logic and good "orks, and intellect, etc( it al"ays comes to pass(
No", this is the hardest and least desirable of all actions0 We "ant to think "e.re
smart, capable, intelligent, talented, logical, enthusiastic(((and "e "ant to belie%e that
there is order to the chaos, that function follo"s form, that there is cause and effect, and
that "e are players! in the game of life(
,ut, that is our undoing( Nothing is logical e#cept that $od is @@, and "e are
nothing "ithout $od being proacti%e in our li%es( $od is the $reat Do-er, and "e are not
to do!, but rather to simply *ust be!( We are human beings!0 Not a participant in our
o"n li%es CX7C6T for our ,C@)C/ system00000
C%ery time "e take action, "e lose( C%ery time "e don.t take action to help
oursel%es, but turn it o%er to and trust in $od(((it al"ays happens0
There.s the code!0 ) finally cracked it( )t took years and years( )t took
constantly turning my e#periences "ith and "ithout miracles o%er in my mind until )
cracked the code0
This code! is illogical0 ,ut then, so are miracles0 That.s the point( We can
either be human doings!, or human beings!( ) can tell you from e#perience that
doing! doesn.t get us "here "e "ant to go( ,ut, being! does0
No", if you.re human, like me, you.%e got to hate this concept( 1it on our butts
and do nothing9! you ask( Where.s the fun in T'T90 'o" "ould anything get done9
'o" "ould "e build our skyscrapers9 +ur airplanes9 +ur ;miracle. drugs9 +ur medical
operations9
Well, that.s your choice, isn.t it90 8ou can choose to be a human doing! or a
human being!( 8ou can choose to be a builder, for e#ample, or a miracle-"orker and
ha%e $od build the building0 ,ut, that.s too hard to belie%e, isn.t it9 That $od "ould
build the building simply because you asked 'im to, "ith you *ust sitting around "aiting
for the miracle( ,ut, there.s a pit in that, too( 8ou see, you can.t "ait!( When you
"ait!, $od gi%es you the e#perience of "aiting!( 'ere are the steps to getting $od to
build your building -- <1= sk $od in prayer to build your building( Then <2= CX6C7T
that $od "ill0 nd, finally, <G= think about any person "hom you ha%e enmity
against(((and forgi%e them in your heart( Siola0 8our building "ill appear before your
%ery eyes0
) kno" this takes an enormous stretch of the imagination( ) kno" this sounds
impossible( ,ut, that.s "hat miracles and faith are all about -- The )mpossible0
Does that mean "e can.t D+ anything999 you might ask( No, it does not( 8ou
can do stuff( 8ou *ust can.t see a causal relationship bet"een your do-ing! and your
getting!( There are no causal relationships( )f there "ere, all "ould be "ell in the
"orld( 1o, since "e.%e been do-ing! all of these centuries, is all "ell "ith the "orld9
) can hear your arguments e%en before you state them( merica is the greatest
nation on the face of the earth and "e got here to this point by doing0! )s that your case,
,unkie9 )s that ho" the concept of merica -- the first nation in the history of the "orld
to gi%e e-uality to all citi&ens "as founded9 ,y do-ing!9 +r, rather, "as it founded on
a principal( principal of faith in $od!9 ?ust ho" did the smallest and "eakest nation
on the face of the earth o%ercome the greatest military and political po"er on the earth in
1FFK9 Was it by superior force of arms9 +r, "as it by faith in "hat they belie%ed "as
their right and *ust cause9
).m not suggesting that $od "as on our side! as the popular motif goes( That
"ould presume that $od "as against! Cnglishmen( ) don.t belie%e $od takes sides o%er
different of 'is creations( When "e "ar on each other, ) think 'e *ust looks do"n from
hea%en(((and cries(
No, ) belie%e that "hen one people belie%e in $od and call upon $od to make
their cause 'is o"n, 'e has no choice but to gi%e those belie%ers "hat they ask for( )f
the enemy! chooses not to in%oke their faith in $od, but rather in%okes their o"n belief
in their o"n po"er, ) guess they "on.t get their heart.s desire(
)f you.%e e%er been one to study the biographies of other people, there is an
underlying theme running through e%erybody.s li%es( 5any people become rich and
famous and accomplished and successful!( ,ut, ho" many times do you see those self-
same li%es turned bitter-s"eet( Disaster seems to follo" all of them, doesn.t it9 Why
"ould that be9 Why "ould the accomplished and successful ha%e their fortunes turn to
dust9 ,ecause "e are all born sinners and can.t help oursel%es9 ) don.t buy into that0
+h, to be sure, there are people "ho attain monumental success and "ealth only
to use that "ealth to procure illegal drugs and "ind up killing themsel%es "ith it( Too
much success too fast seems sometimes to be more than one can handle( ).ll bet you.%e
told yourself that if you e%er attained that le%el of success and "ealth, you.d kno" ho"
to handle it0 ) kno" ordinary a%erage-income people "ho ha%e done the same dastardly
thing to themsel%es "ith drugs or alcohol0
Why9 Why do people do that to themsel%es9 7ould it possibly be that they ha%e
lost their %ery soul9 That they ha%en.t found $od and the true meaning of life9 7ould it
be that their %alue system is distorted(((or their %ie" of themsel%es and "hat they! ha%e
accomplished is out of "hack9 re they taking credit, but inside reali&ing that they
didn.t deser%e all of the accolades and money for the little that they did9 What did they
do9 Didn.t they *ust take their gift from $od! that 'e pro%ided and did "hat came
naturally9 5aybe they are a talented actor, or singer, or musician( 8ou kno", they had
that gift! from birth( No big deal( ?ust came naturally(((effortlessly( They took it for
granted, but the "orld didn.t( The "orld ga%e it %alue( The "orld paid enormous sums
of money to them for *ust being! "ho they are( nd, maybe they *ust didn.t kno" ho"
to handle that( 8ou kno"(((maybe they felt undeser%ed, or guilty, or fraudulent( 1o, to
escape the inner pain, they took themsel%es out of the success! picture(
+h, sure( We.d kno" "hat to do "ith the money( ,ut, "ould "e kno" "hat to
do "ith "hat "e percei%ed "as the unearned, undeser%ed success!90 re "e so
different9
1o, if "e can.t do!((("hat can "e be!9 We can be! Dreamers0 That.s "hat "e
can be( We can dream of "ondrous things to behold( We can dream dreams of beauty
and brotherhood and lo%e( We can dream of lo%e( @o%e for our fello" man( @o%e for a
special other( @o%e for oursel%es( nd, "e can make @o%e manifest in our li%es thus
eradicating all of the hate and "ar and *ealousy that besots mankind( We can call a ne"
"orld into being!( We can do this by being! this(
What is the pursuit of mankind9 )s it the pursuit of happiness, as our forefathers
said it "as9 +kay, let.s say that it is( What is happiness9 )s it peace, or contentiousness9
)s it helping our fello"s, or hurting them9 )s it getting our o"n "ay, or is it "orking in
harmony "ith e%eryone else.s "ay9
Do "e ha%e a choice in these matters, or is the fate of mankind cast in a ne%er
ending pursuit of Nme firstN9 1ur%i%al of the fittest, or sur%i%al of all9 +"nership, or
sharing the resources9 re resources limited(((or un-limited9 7an "e gro" more food
than the "orld presently has9 7an "e gro" food at all9 'o" do "e gro" food9 Don.t
"e *ust find $od.s seed laying on the ground, and stick it in $od.s earth, and let $od.s
rain and sunshine fall upon it9 nd, then, don.t "e *ust stand by and "atch $od gro" our
food for us9 Then "hat do "e do9 We cut the grain do"n and pluck the tomatoes from
the %ines, don.t "e9 re "e gro"ers of food(((or *ust simply reapers of the food $od
pro%ides for free9
nd, if merely reapers of the abundance, "hy do "e hoard it, and s-uander it on
the fe" "hen so many are hungry9 gain, is food limited(((or un-limited9 )f unlimited,
can.t "e share "ith no loss to oursel%es9
These are -uestions "e must all come to grips "ith( +nly you can kno" the
ans"ers( +nly you can "ake up to the terrible in*ustices %isited upon the earth and our
fello" man( +nly you can decide to share "hat "e ha%e and "hat "e kno" about
abundance and gro"ing enough food for all( We are coming to grips "ith these
-uestions( That.s "hat the 6eace 7orps is all about( 1haring our kno"ledge of ho" to
gro" $od.s free food "ith the peoples of the earth "ho don.t kno" ho" to gro" their
food for themsel%es( This is "hat the grain sharing program "ith >ussia and North
Lorea is all about( The abundant sharing "ith those "ho don.t ha%e enough(((because "e
kno" $od.s truth(((that there is abundance for all( )f "e "ere to continue to share our
abundance "ith the rest of the "orld, "ould "e find the happiness "e are pursuing9
Would "e eradicate the need for *ealousy(((and anger(((and hate(((and "ar9
1o( ) ask you again( What is the pursuit of happiness9 )s it o"ning, taking and
hoarding9 +r is it sharing, and gi%ing, and lo%ing( ).m asking you because only you can
ha%e the ans"ers( +nly you can make the truth kno"n( ) can promise you this -- my
personal truth is -- )f you are hungry and ) ha%e only food enough for one of us(((you can
ha%e mine(((because ) kno" no other "ay to be! a human being! than to lo%e you(
,eing! here on earth isn.t "hat.s important to me( )n my %ie", being happy! here
"hile on earth is "hat is important for us all(
NOT(:NG B1T *NGE5SENOT(:NG B1T $:8*C5ES
$od says, in Neale Donald Walsch.s trilogy Conversations With God!, ) ha%e
gi%en you nothing but angels, and only miracles(! What does that mean9 With all of the
crap that happens in my life, could that possibly be true9!, you might ask(
The first position here is that anybody and e%erybody "ho comes into our li%es is
an angel messenger from $od( That means the people "e lo%e and are lo%ed by4but it
also means the ones "hom "e "ould ha%e preferred had not come into our li%es, such as
the unrelenting bill collector for e#ample( 'o" could a ;bill collector. be an angel in
our li%es9!, you might ask(
7onsider this2 'o" could you kno" "hat "ealth is if you don.t kno" po%erty9
'o" could you e#perience the e#hilaration of getting enough money to pay off the bill
collector if he "asn.t dunning you9 'o" could you get the good! <money enough to
pay your bills= "ithout ha%ing the bad! <the need to pay off bills=9
'a%e you e%er e#perienced something that you %ie"ed as really bad happening in
your life, only to e#perience something good not long after that fi#ing "hat you
percei%ed as that "hich "as "rong9 7ouldn.t that bad! thing that "as deli%ered by
someone you *udged as a mean person ha%e really been a blessing in disguise9 nd,
then, "ouldn.t that mean! person really ha%e been an angel-in-disguise!9 /or, if the
mean person! hadn.t ha%e deli%ered the bad! thing, the good! thing couldn.t ha%e
follo"ed( 1ee9
No" for miracles( 'a%e you e%er had a miracle9 5aybe you did, but *ust didn.t
recogni&e it as such( 'a%e you e%er had good luck!9 'a%en.t "e all9 ) remember, for
e#ample, one time "hen ) had been stretched to the limit of my abilities on a ne" *ob )
had taken( The responsibility of it "as enormously scary, but ) sank my teeth into it
any"ay( @o and behold, ) accomplished much and "as recogni&ed for doing a superior
*ob( fe" months later, after that "orld! had been con-uered, ) found myself bored
"ith the no" unchallenging daily routine( ) remember "alking into the kitchen "here
my "ife "as cooking dinner as soon as ) got home from yet another dull day( ).m tired
of this *ob no"(! ) said to her( ).m ready for a ne" challenge(! The "ords had hardly
escaped my mouth "hen the phone rang "ith a ne" *ob offer, and an e#citing one, at
that0 What great good fortune0! ) thought, because in those days ) didn.t accredit $od
"ith doing anything in my life, and chalked all good things up to luck!(
,ut, no", as ) look back on that incredible split-second coincidence, ) account that
as a miracle!( ) belie%e "e are getting miracles all day long e%ery day, but *ust aren.t
recogni&ing them as such( We *ust go out the front door assumin good things4like
good health today, and get it, but don.t e%en take the time to consider "hat a blessing it is
that "e had good health today( Why should "e9 Don.t "e ha%e good health e%ery day90
re "e taking our miracles for granted9
7onsider this( 8ou are "alking do"n the mall one day, and you see another
person coming to"ard you( 1ay that it.s a little old lady "ith a grumpy e#pression( We
consider smiling, don.t "e( ,ut, then, maybe "e *ust "rite her off as someone "ho
"ouldn.t appreciate it, and certainly "on.t return it( 1o, "e *ust pass her by, and "e go
on "ith our li%es( ,ut, say, *ust for argument, "e don.t let negati%e thoughts like that
enter our mind( 1ay that "e ha%e determined in ad%ance of that day to smile at *ust
e%erybody4not because of them, but because that.s ho" "e ha%e decided "e "ant to
li%e our li%es(
1o, here she comes, and "e smile at her( 1he may brighten up and smile back(
What you didn.t kno" is that she had had a hard life and a particularly bad day( 1he "as
brooding as she meandered do"n the mall and "as contemplating suicide because she is
old and the "orld has been hard on her and she.s thinking Nobody cares that ) e%en
e#ist0! Then4you smiled at her( ll of a sudden she recogni&es that there are caring
people out there( nd her thoughts turn to something more constructi%e like thinking
about her lo%ed ones "ho "ould miss her after she.s gone, and she changes her mind
about suicide(
8ou *ust sa%ed a life4and you didn.t e%en kno" it( ).d call that a miracle,
"ouldn.t you9 ).d call you an ngel of $od! for your act of kindness(
$od sends us nothing but ngels and gi%es us nothing but miracles(
: Belie,e, So Wh. Can>t : Get $. $ira%le&@
)t should be apparent by no" that ) am a big fan of Neale Donald Walsch.s trilogy
of books, Conversations With God, and subse-uent titles( )n them, Neale asks $od
-uestions, and $od ans"ers him( To the uninitiated, this must seem like almost a
delusional e#ercise( ,ut, to anyone "ho has read any of those books, they immediately
recogni&e the messages contained therein could only ha%e come from $od( No human
being could ha%e such perfect, unpre*udicial insights( $od, in Conversations With God,
e#plains the human e#perience that all human beings kno" to be true in their o"n hearts(
To help his readers more fully understand the material contained in his books,
Neale has published ans"ers to his readers -uestions further elaborating on the material(
s a member of a Conversations With God <7W$= 1tudy $roup, a -uestion "as put to
me that ) am certain must be on the minds of many, if not all, readers of this book( The
-uestion is4(
) belie%e in $od, and ) belie%e that it is possible to ;create. miracles in my o"n life4so
ho" come ) can.t seem to get the miracle ) "ant "hen ) "ant it9!
3on>t DW*NT>
That is a %ery comple# -uestion, and difficult to ans"er4but not impossible( To
ans"er it, ) "ill ha%e to break do"n the ans"er into se%eral concepts(
The first concept is that $od gi%es us e%erything we believe "e deserve and
assume to happen( ,ut, if "e feel unworthy, or hope for a miracle, or want a miracle, it
isn.t going to happen( Why9 ,ecause $od promises to gi%e us e%erything "e believe "e
"ill get as if it has already been gotten before "e see the e%idence of it(
1o, if "e feel un"orthy, "e are starting out not really e#pecting to get our
miracle, aren.t "e9 nd, since $od ans"ers all prayers <beliefs= 'e substantiates that
"hich "e call forth -- un"orthiness( nd so "e are not disappointed( We didn.t feel
"orthy enough to get a miracle, so $od ensures that "e don.t get it(
)f "e hope for a miracle, hope implies that "e aren.t sure "e.ll get it, but "e are
holding out hope that it "ill come without the e#pectation that it "ill(
nd, if "e WNT a miracle, that implies "e don.t currently ha%e the thing "e
"ant to happen in our li%es, so there is no faith applied there, either( $od gi%es us "hat
"e belie%e( 1o, if "e belie%e that "e want something, 'e gi%es us the e#perience of
wantin!4not of havin0
/iddlesticks!, you say, That.s *ust playing "ord games( Why "ould $od trip
me up "ith using one "ord instead of another90!
Well, it.s not ;fiddlesticks.( +ur "ords are %ery po"erful instruments, indeed(
7onsider this4)n the beginning "as the Word, and the Word "as "ith $od, and the
Word was $od(! Didn.t $od *ust simply use "ords to create all of creation9 nd, $od
said, @et there be light, and there "as light, and $od sa" that it "as good(!
)f ) say to you, 8ou are ugly!, aren.t those %ery po"erful "ords that can affect
your %ery self-perception, self-confidence, and your resultant %ie" and reaction to the
"orld around you4all probably for the "orse9 )f ) am your lo%ing parent, don.t those
"ords cut e%en deeper, probably permanently scarring you and your outlook for the rest
of your life9
,ut, if ) say to you, 8ou are beautiful!, don.t you get an entirely different
perception of yourself9 Don.t mistake it( Words are the most po"erful tools mankind
has to create his life e#perience(
nd, kno" also, that $od is not playing any games here( 'e has gi%en all of us
free will( What does that mean9 )t means that $od gi%es us anything and e%erything "e
assume 'e "ill gi%e us( )n fact, 'e is doing so e%ery day "ith e%ery breath "e take(
Don.t like the "ay your life is going9 Then change it by changing your attitude about it
and about the po"er of $od to affect your daily e#perience(
!verythin "e e#perience -- good and bad -- is a direct product of "hat "e
assume "e are deser%ing of, and is a miracle from $od0 We may, for e#ample, be
e#periencing "hat "e "ould call hard times!, and not like it one little bit( ,ut, $od has
gi%en us those challenges <hard times= because that.s "hat "e e#pect is all "e are "orthy
of( 8et, e%en in those hard times are the embryonic seeds of the good times to follo"(
/or, ho" could "e recogni&e good times! if "e didn.t kno" "hat hard times! "ere9
When you are financially broke, isn.t it e#hilarating to recei%e a bundle of money9 What
*oy0 lmost indescribable0 8ou may en*oy that e#hilaration so much that you "ant to re-
e#perience it again, so you.ll find yourself broke again4follo"ed by another bundle of
money, and re-e#perience the *oy all o%er again0
,ut, ) don.t want to keep getting money and going broke0! you may argue( )
"ould -uestion the truth of that statement, because ho" "ould you kno" "hat good
times are if you didn.t kno" bad9 1ome people "ho e#perience a long period of "ealth
seem to do bad things, like taking illegal drugs, *ust to pull themsel%es do"n and gi%e
them an orientation of bad times to kno" *ust ho" good they had it( 1eems kind of silly,
but relationships of e#periences is all "e ha%e to kno" by(
+kay, so no", let.s say ;you.%e got it.( nd no", you "ant nothing but good
times!, and you.re determined to get the miracles you say you "ant( 'o" can you do
that9 /irst, 1T+6 wantin0 ,elie%e4accept4that you already have the thing<s= you.re
determined to ha%e( Lno", in ad%ance, that $od has already pro%ided your miracles to
you and do not look for evidence of it in the ;real, world0
3on>t 5oo+ !or :t<
The second perception you ha%e to get is that "hat appears to be ;real. in the ;real
<physical= "orld.4()1N.T0 5iracles, as you use the term, could be defined as
;something outside of the realm of the possible.( We think that miracles are contradictory
to the rules of life, don.t "e9 >ule of @ife Y12 )f you go to college, you "ill get a high-
paying *ob, and li%e happily e%er after( Does that al"ays follo"9 )s e%ery college
graduate "ealthy9 re there no "ealthy non-college graduates9 'o" about the bum in
gutter "ho "ins a P10 million dollar @ottery9 'o" did that happen9 ).ll bet he sees it as
a miracle( Don.t you9 No", the trick is, ho" could that bum cause his miracle of
millions to happen4on demand4by a specific date9
)n other "ords, ho" can ) get control o%er my fate9 'o" can ) be the cause of
getting a miracle anytime ) "ant to9 /irst, "atch your "ords0 Don.t WA)*5 is the first
lesson to learn and put into practice0
Ne#t is believin to the point of knowin "ithout any physical proof or e%idence
that your miracle has already taken place0 When you call out to the :ni%erse for your
specific miracle4do so knowin that $od has already pro%ided it to you0 8ou can
in%oke that by simply stating your re-uest as4Thank you, $od, for
pro%iding me "ith the money to pay these
bills(!, for e#ample( nd then, simply be calm
and at rest in the kno"ledge that 'e "ill4that
he actually already has4sent you the money and
it.s on its "ay( 8ou don.t ha%e to look for it to
arri%e( )n fact, you can.t do that or you "ill
undo your miracle( ,ecause, the looking! "ill
be proof that you are not absolutely 100Q sure
it.s coming(
@et me interrupt myself "ith a little e#ample of that knowin "ithout being
an#ious( <n#iety is fear e#pressed4and fear dra"s that "hich you are fearful of to
you0=( When my daughters "ere of dating age, ) sometimes -uestioned the ilk of young
man they dated( )f they "ent out on a date, and "ere late coming home, it "ould ha%e
been a natural <fearful= thing for me to "orry about their safety4not kno"ing "here they
"ere and "hat they "ere doing at that <unkno"n= point in time( ).m sure that if ) paced
the floor "ringing my hands and worryin about "hat miht be happening to them, )
could ha%e caused the "orst e#perience ) feared( ) might "orry myself to death to the
point that ) "ould start calling the police or the hospitals( That "ould be %ery compelling
action that could actually cause "hat ) feared most(
1o, ) didn.t do that( ) merely thanked $od for bringing my daughters home
safely, and trusted that 'e "ould do so( nd, 'e al"ays did0
5et Go and 5et God<
8ou.%e heard this statement -- @et $o and @et $od -- for years no"( ,ut, "hat
does it mean to do that, e#actly9 ) can only e#plain it thusly4
).%e mentioned that ) ha%e not al"ays gotten the miracle ) thought ) wanted( ,ut,
) ha%e ne%er failed to get the miracle ) percei%ed ) needed( Those times "ere times "hen
my back "as against the "allB "hen ) had done e%erything humanly possible to sol%e my
problem at the momentB "hen ) had run out of options and time( t those times, )
percei%ed that ) had failed <as a human being=, and ) had no choice but to turn my life and
fate o%er to $od as the only possible solution left(
When, in those hard times, ) did that, ) felt a huge
"eight-of-responsibility lift from my shoulders and ) "as at
peace "ith myself( ) had finally @et go!, and ) had finally turned it totally o%er
to $od to sol%e and @et $od! pro%ide the solution( t that moment-in-time, ) had *ust
simply totally gi%en up( ) didn.t care anymore "hat "ould happen( ) *ust kne" someho"
that $od "ould step in at my hour of need and pro%ide for me( ,ut, ) "asn.t depressed,
either( ) "asn.t depressed because ) had failed, gi%en up, and e#pected the "orst( )
"asn.t depressed because ) had gi%en it o%er to $od, and ) "as positive that $od "ould
not let me do"n0 lmost instantaneously, my miracle happened0
DKnowing> i& 7ea%eful
t those moments in my life, ) can only describe that peaceful feeling as it ha%ing
become so unimportant that ) felt no need to think on my problem any more( ) needed no
physical proof that my miracle had taken place( )t "as no" so inconse-uential that ) felt
no need to think of it anymore(
When the doctor told me that my father "as a "alking dead man "ith absolutely
no hope, ) simply said to him, 5y father is cured of his cancer0! nd, that "as it( ) put
it <my father.s cancer= out of my head and "alked a"ay and dro%e home, and simply
forgot about my father.s condition( ) didn.t care anymore because, in my heart, ) kne"
the problem "as sol%ed0
The doctor didn.t belie%e me at that point in time, and "as "illing to sho" me my
father.s #-rays to prove to me that he "as dying( ,ut, ) "ouldn.t ha%e bothered to look,
because it didn.t matter to me "hat the #-rays sho"ed0 )t didn.t matter to me "hat the
;real "orld. had to say about my father.s condition( )t "as sufficient to me to kno" that
$od had already in%oked my miracle( ctually, it took a year for the cancerous cells to
disappear from my father.s #-rays, but ) "as unconcerned( )t didn.t matter( ) knew my
father "as healed( bsolutely knew it, and ) couldn.t be con%inced other"ise no matter
"hat proofs the doctors "anted to force upon me( ) "as deaf to their prognoses( ) "asn.t
anxious( ) "asn.t worried( There "as no reason to be( ) knew my father "as cured(
That.s all ) had to kno"( nd, the kno"ing of it "as sufficient enough that ) ne%er had to
think about it again( When the doctor called me a year later to tell me that a miracle had
happened, ) "as so remo%ed from the concern, that ) had to think a minute to reali&e "ho
"as calling me and "hat he "as talking about( That.s ho" far remo%ed from my
consciousness my father.s condition "as( ,ut, upon hearing the "ord ;miracle. escape
from the doctor.s mouth, ) then kne" e#actly "hat he "as talking about, and chided him
for not reali&ing, as ) did, that the miracle had taken place a year before "hen the "ords,
'e is cured! escaped from my lips(
7ea%e fro# 8elea&e
There "as nothing anybody could ha%e told me about the anticipated death of my
father from cancer at that moment that ) "ould ha%e accepted or belie%ed( ) knew "hat )
belie%ed( That "as enough for me0 The ;peace from release. is the most serene feeling
one can imagine( )f you "ould ha%e your specific miracle from $od, *ust simply, @et go,
and @et $od(
F##*)#*!<
) "as "atching a gangster mo%ie one time, and the criminals in it "ere al"ays
saying /ergeddaboudit! to the point of annoyance( ) typed that up on my computer in
large letters, and printed it out( ).%e hung it on my office "all, so that ) see it
constantly(((as a reminder to *ust forget about it!( )t makes me laugh, and ) am
chagrined(
S$*55 $:8*C5ES
miracle doesn.t ha%e to be a great bi freebie( )t can be a little one, too( 'o" is
a miracle defined then, if it.s a small one9 Well, you could define it as something totally
une#pected(((but then it couldn.t be a miracle because you didn.t ask for it( No, a miracle
is something for "hich there does not seem to be a cause-and-effect e%ent( )n other
"ords, it can only happen "hen there is no logical reason for it( )t has to be something
that only $od could deli%er( 1omething that you couldn.t possibly do for yourself(
That.s "hy ha%ing faith -- defined as absolutely knowin in advance -- is
soooooooo hard( We can.t see any "ay, by the la"s of nature, for the result to take place,
so it.s easy -- almost re-uired -- to not belie%e it.s going to happen( nd, of course, not
belie%ing-in-ad%ance is a miracle-killer0
@et me tell you a little story that e#emplifies this point( +ne day ) had the day off
from "ork, and ) thought, What a great opportunity to call that local go%ernment agency
that is soooooo hard to reach by phone( 8ou could call that number on speed dial 20, G0,
or more times "ithin a half hour and, ) s"ear to $od, the line "ould constantly be busy0
8ou kno" the one( 8ou actually could spend the "hole day dialing that number and get a
busy signal e%ery time( <This story is from the old days((("hich means o%er J years ago
before they in%ented automatic call-back(= ,ut, e%en today, "ith automatic call-back set,
it can detect "hen the line is free, ring you G times in rapid succession indicating that the
other person hung up, and by the time you pick up your recei%er, it.s busy again0
1o, there ) am, an hour into getting busy signals "hen it occurs to me that ) ha%e
special help( ) can *ust simply ask $od to ha%e it ring through the ne#t time ) dial, and,
kno"ing ho" miracles happen, it "ill ring and they "ill ans"er0 ,ut, first, ) ha%e to go
through all of the soul-searching about using $od fri%olously, or "asting a miracle on
something so small and stupid(
,ut, ).m no babe in the "oods on ho" to get miracles, so ) finally conclude <a=
8ou can.t use $od too much( fter all, that.s 'is only *ob all day long -- performing
miracles for the likes of you and me( nd, <b= There.s no limit as to the number of
miracles one can ha%e( )t.s not like a genie in a bottle "here you are limited to only G
"ishes0
1o, okay, ).%e got it straight no" -- ) can, indeed, say a prayer of thanksgi%ing and
e#pect that on the %ery ne#t dial, it.ll ring and they.ll ans"er0
1o, ) dial, and for that moment before it clicks through and either rings or gi%es a
busy signal, a -uestion shoots through my mind and ) -uickly slam do"n the recei%er
before ) can be disappointed( The -uestion is, What happens if it.s busy90 +hmygod,
that means that $od doesn.t e#ist0 +r, if 'e does, 'e.s a liar( 'e "on.t gi%e me any
miracle anytime ) ask0!
What do you call that9 ) call that fear( 6ure, unadulterated, honest-to-goodness,
human, cold-as-icicles, fear0
No", ) find myself asking myself if ) "ant to risk my faith on such a silly little
e#periment( There it goes0 ny time you turn to $od for a miracle, it is not an
e#periment!0 +r, at least it shouldn.t be( 7alling it an e#periment! implies trying!,
and as "e.%e disco%ered, trying! is programmed failure( +ne either .believes/, or one
.doesn,t/0
) rationali&ed that if ) "as going to blo" my religious faith, it had better be on
something big(((monumental(((something "orth losing my faith o%er( ,ut then, clarity
comes back to me, and ) argue "ith myself that if ) truly belie%ed, ) can.t fail((("hether
it.s o%er something big(((or small0
1o, ) pick up the recei%er again, steadfast in my belief that they "ill ans"er on the
other end of the phone( ,&&t(((,&&t(((,&&t -- ,:18((($)N0 +h, Nooooooo, there is
N+ $od0! shoots through my brain(
,ut((("ait a minute(((it occurs to me that if there is a break-do"n bet"een $od
and me, it must be my <fallible= fault( $od is &)fallible, so 'e can.t fail0 +nly ) can fail0
nd, ) do that to myself( ) reflect back on "hat ) *ust e#perienced, and, sure enough, as )
picked up the recei%er, doubt crept it.s ugly head into my brain( 1o, ) *ust stood there
staring at the recei%er in my hand in disbelief and laughed out loud at my humanness(
This is ridiculous,! ) say to myself( Where.s your faith, ,ill90! ngry "ith
myself, no", ) buckle do"n and determine that ) am going to stop ha%ing feet of clay(
,ut, ho" am ) going to trick myself into not letting any doubt creep in at the last
second9! ) ask myself( Well, ) kno" that anger e#pressed is a pretty good substitute for
self-doubt, so ) determine to get angry( ) grab the recei%er off the phone and punch the
numbers in "ith determination0 The pause( +h, no(((there it is again(((the doubt(((the
fear( ) -uickly slam do"n the recei%er(
This game has become tedious( ).m spending more time arguing "ith myself than
actually dialing the phone( $et it together, ,ill,! ) admonish myself(
) reflect on "hat "orked for me in the past, "hen ) desperately needed a miracle(
) reali&ed that in my most sublime moments, ) "ould ask $od for "hat ) absolutely
needed, and then(((that "as it( ) *ust kne" in my heart-of-hearts that it "as a done deal!,
and ) put it out of my head( )n other "ords, ) ga%e it up to get it!( )t "as like ) didn.t
care anymore because there "as nothing to care about( The deed "as done( ) didn.t e%en
ha%e to think about "hen, or, ho", or by "hat method the ans"er "ould come( )t "as
enough to kno" that it W#$'( come(
1o, ) finally determined that ) "as going to employ this faith in my ne#t dial to the
go%ernment agency( ) picked up the phone and asked $od to ha%e it ring through on the
%ery ne#t dial, and then ) *ust dropped the sub*ect all together( ) "as manifesting that )
didn.t care if it rang or not( ) told myself that it "as a done deal, so it didn.t matter to me
anymore( 5y faith "as no longer in doubt, and ) "asn.t intimidated by the fear of
failure!( >)N$((((>)N$(((( >)N$, the phone "ent( 'ello9! the person on the other end
ans"ered( ) laughed out loud0 ) laughed for a long time, and making the person on the
phone think she had a nut-case on the line, no doubt( ) "as choking "ith laughter at
myself, and the tears of humor "ere streaming do"n my face at *ust ho" fearful and silly
) can be( ) took care of business "ith her, and hung up( ,ut, that little period of soul-
searching stuck "ith me until this %ery day(((and ) belie%e that it is a lesson ) "ill ne%er
lose sight of again( <+f course, ) did(((to the point that ) lost my home to foreclosure0=
Worr.ing +ill& .our #ira%le
5y mother is a "orrier( 1he is a dedicated "orrier( 1he is a constant "orrier( 1he
is a chronic "orrier0 1he has been her entire HE years of life( ) ha%e not been successful in
raising her perception about $od.s miracles all of these ensuing years(((until recently( )O%e
been trying to get her un-stressed, and trusting in $od to sol%e her problems, "ithout
success until no"(
1he "as in%ol%ed in a car accident recently that "asnOt her fault that totaled her
car about a month ago ( The ne#t day she allo"ed a car salesman to come to her house
N"ith a car he "anted to sho" her that "as mechanically-perfectN( ) "as out-of-to"n, but
cautioned her o%er the phone not to commit to buying the car until ) could be there "ith
her to check the car out mechanically( 5y mother li%es on 1ocial 1ecurity and cannot
afford a car that is going to need e#tensi%e repairs0 The salesman assured her the car "as
in Nperfect conditionN( 1o, she "ent against my ad%ice and bought it( ThatOs "hen the
troubles started(
The car needed PG00 "orth of repairs the first "eek0 The dealership dutifully
made those fi#es( Then t"o "eeks later, the alternator died and they "anted PE00 from
her to fi# it0 ) called the dealership and asked them to take the car back and return my
motherOs loan money( They refused( 1o, ) researched the sale through the paper"ork
in%ol%ed and found E points of la" that they broke in selling her the car -- not the least of
"hich "as that the odometer had illegally been rolled back(
The ne#t day ) told them they could return my motherOs money ;The Casy Way.,
or ;The 'ard Way.( The easy "ay "ould be to *ust take the car back and gi%e her money
back( The hard "ay "ould be for me to file a criminal fraud complaint "ith the police
and a rules %iolation complaint "ith the Department of TransportationOsO Dealer @icensing
Department( nd, ) "ould also file a ci%il fraud la"suit and get my motherOs money back
for her that "ay( Their choice(
They got angry and upset and dug their heels in and thre" me out of their office(
They chose the hard "ay(
fter they thre" us out, ) called their head-uarters and asked to speak to their
legal department( They told me that the dealership, in their opinion, had not made any
mistakes <regardless of the fact that ) had paper"ork e%idence=, and since ) had contacted
the police, they "ere not going to refund my motherOs money and "ould take their
chances in court0
That night, family and friends told my mother "e "ere going to fail in our -uest (
5y mother got %ery upset and gnashed her teeth and cried and became %ery fearful that
the others "ere correct -- that she "asnOt going to be able to get out of the deal and "ould
be stuck making payments on a broken car0
) took her out to dinner and calmly e#plained ho" $od "orks and ho" 'e
deli%ers our miracles( +nce ) had finished, ) sa" a %isible change come o%er her( ) told
her that if she prayed and belie%ed in ad%ance that $od "ould sol%e her problem, the
dealership "ould absolutely be calling us first thing the follo"ing morning and
voluntarily gi%ing her money back( 5y mother believed me "hen ) reminded her of all
of the other miracles $od has "rought in my life(
The dealership called the %ery ne#t morning at D200 am sharp and offered to gi%e her
money back "ith no strings attached0
/C> is the enemy, $odOs @o%e is the friend0
Co#puter Cra&he&
'ere.s another e#ample for the techie generation( +ne day my computer crashed,
for the umpteenth time( 1eems ) got a computer %irus off the 7D from a reputable
)nternet company( )t ate a couple of key Z(dll[ files off my operating system, and it *ust
"ouldn.t function anymore( ) took my computer into the smart guys to ha%e it fi#ed(
The computer nerds <read that ) use that as a term of respect= "arned me that,
"hile they thought they could fi# the corrupted files, there "as no guarantee( Their fi#!
could ha%e the result of totally "iping out my computer, or at least erasing some or all of
my %aluable files off my computer and out into cyber-space some"here( To dri%e their
point home, they made me sign a disclaimer e#onerating them from any blame should the
unacceptable happen( ) hesitated long o%er that decision trying to rationali&e ho" )
"ould e%er put my life back together if all of my programs and files "ere "iped clean off
the face of the earth( ,ut, ) reali&ed ) "as at their mercy( ) had no choice because my
computer certainly "asn.t functional no", and to lea%e it in its current state "as to plan
on donating it to the computer museum as a "arning to future no%ices not let this happen
to them(
1o, ) agreed, and +h0 'appy Day0, it "as back up and functioning again0 +r(((so )
thought( 5errily humming through my fa%orite programs and checking out the files, )
got a re-uest from a relati%e for an e#cerpt from my latest book in de%elopment( ) had
*ust completed the book the night before, and hadn.t had a chance to print out a
%oluminous copy for myself yet( 7an you see this coming9 @ike a freight train, right90
1ure as shootin., "hen ) "ent into 51Works to find the file, and clicked on the title, up
pops a bo# that says, This file does not e#ist on your computer!( ) could feel my heart
sinking into my shoes as ) heard it break into little pieces( ) had no backup copy, and no
hard copy( )t "as $+NC0 /+>CSC>, as any computer literate nerd "ill tell you( )
"atched as the title e%aporated off my computer screen as a silent testimony to this
tragedy(
Not "anting to belie%e my eyes, ) frantically searched the entire program hoping
beyond hope that it "as some"here else(((any"here else( 5aybe it "as renamed( No, it
"as not to be( )t "asn.t there0
1o, ) -uickly "ent into Windo"s C#plorer, and did a file search there on the
"hole dri%e( No luck( ) "as hosed( There "as absolutely no "ay ) "as going to be able
to remember a K0,000-"ord document "ord-for-"ord to re"rite it( ) confronted my
disappointment( This looked like a *ob for 5iracleman!0
) silently looked up at my ceiling( ) mouthed a silent prayer that the computer
gods! find my missing file, meaning that ) e#pected $od to make it someho" re-appear(
) sat -uietly for a fe" moments getting my act together and coming to peace "ith
my absolute faith in $od(
Then ) "ent back into C#plorer, and clicked on search! again( @o and behold, it
miraculously reappeared, and in the "ord processor program "here it belonged in the
first place0 ,ut, you kno" "hat9 ) "asn.t surprised( ) fully e#pected it to be there0 To
me, that "as a miracle, and ) "ould "elcome any computer nerd to e#plain it any other
"ay( nd, if one could, it "ouldn.t matter( Whate%er logical e#planation he could come
up "ith "ould *ust tell me that "as the method by "hich $od chose to make my miracle
happen0 ) ha%e absolutely no doubt that $od did that0
*nother Co#puter $ira%le
5y computer has been gi%ing me fits lately, so ) took it into the shop, but they
said it couldnOt be fi#ed( 1o, ) brought it home, and rehooked it up( T'CN ) couldnOt get
on +@( 5y computer said it couldnOt find my modem( ) tried e%erything ) kno" to get
my computer to locate it, and nothing "orked( ) called the computer repair shop, and they
"ere stumped, too0
1o, ) tried and tried all day long, but nothing "orked( ) called e%eryone ) kno",
and tried e%ery back-door trick ) kno"(((but nothing "orked0
) "as fra&&led0 Then ) thought, N'ey0 )O%e got a friend in the computer business in
the sky0N 1o, ) "ent NupstairsN( ) said a prayer of thanksgi%ing(((paused to set the right
attitude in my heart, and rebooted for the 20th time today, and Soila0 5y computer "as
back as perfect as before00000
No" thatOs "hat ) call a miracle0
'ere.s one more computer e#ample(
) ha%en.t mentioned up-until-no" that ) belie%e in astrology( fter all, if it "as
good enough for ?esus, it.s good enough for me( @ike e%erything else in my life, ) "ent
into researching astrology as a skeptic( ) "as determined to pro%e it false( ,ut, the more
) learned about it, the more it seemed to pro%e itself out( Then ) reasoned that, if $od
created e%erything in the :ni%erse, ) guess 'e could in%ent astrology, too( ) had read
some"here that $od promised to tell e%erybody their life story "hile on earth( What
better "ay than through astrology9 The stars at the moment of one.s birth directly
o%erhead means that e%erybody "ould ha%e a different astrological story( ll K billion
people on the face of the earth ha%e a slightly different star pattern than e%erybody else(
C%en identical t"ins are born some minutes apart, "hich is enough to gi%e them a
differing life story( )n fact, ) met a pair of identical t"ins "ho "ere born J minutes apart
and their personalities "ere as different as night and day0 )t seems that 5ercury "ent
retrograde bet"een their births and that made all the difference( The for"ard-5ercury
t"in had a positi%e outlook on life, and the retro-5ercury t"in "as as negati%e as you
"ould e#pect if you understood astrology( The positi%e t"in "as a student studying
astrology "ith a 5aster( 1he asked if she could do my chart as her final e#am( ) agreed,
but then, ) tricked her( )nstead of my o"n birth information, ) ga%e her my deceased
"ife.s birth information as if it "as my o"n(
The results "ere astonishing0 'er final report described my "ife.s personality
<"hich "as the e#act opposite of my o"n= to a tee( )n fact, she came back to me <) "as
E2 at the time= "ith a -ui&&ical look on her face( 1he said, $ee, ).m sorry, but ) must
ha%e goofed up some"here because my interpretation of your birth chart says that you
"ill die at age GD0! That, of course, "as my "ife.s death age( ) got chills(
) continued to look into astrology( ) e%en bought a little P10 cheap-o computer
astrology program( ) "as the hit of e%ery party as ) used my computer to tell strangers
all about themsel%es( When ).d run up against a skeptic "ho al"ays said, +h, those
things are so general that the information could apply to anyone, ).d run a personality
directly opposite of their birth signs( Then they.d e#claim, Why that.s nothing like me
at all0 1ee, it.s all baloney0! Then ).d sho" them that ) had used the "rong birth
information, reenter their real birth information, and "hen their personality "ould come
out right on target, they.d be left standing "ith their mouth gaping open(
+ops0 ,ut, ) said, )f it.s good enough for ?esus((((! and didn.t e#plain "hat )
meant( Them.s fightin. "ords in some circles( 1ome religious people fear astrology is
the "ork of the ;de%il.0 <s if there "as any such being as a de%il( 'o" could there be9
$od created !1!0"thin, didn.t 1he9 1o, if there is such a thing as a de%il((("ouldn.t
$od ha%e had to create it90(((and allo" it! to "reak it.s ha%oc90 1o, then, "ho "ould be
to blame90= ny"ay, ) think ).d better hurry up and e#plain about ?esus(
/irst of all, ?esus. %irgin birth "as predicted before 'is birth, "asn.t it9 Who
predicted it9 Wise 5en( nd, *ust "ho "ere the Wise 5en of old9 They "ere
stronomers and strologers( They "ere employed by kings to read the mo%ements of
the stars, and interpret their meanings and report to the king ho" his battles or his reign
or "hate%er "as going to go(
)n fact, if you read The ,ible, the Three Wise 5en from the Cast "ho %isited
?esus on that momentous night of 'is birth did not ride their camels to ,ethlehem( They
rode to Ling 'erod.s palace and asked him "here the ne" Ling of )srael "as born(
'erod replied that, if there "as such a royal birth, it "ould ha%e to ha%e taken place in
,ethlehem because that "as the 7ity of Da%id "here all of )srael.s kings "ere born( 1o,
they rode their camels to ,ethlehem and in-uired e%ery"here to "here a baby "as born
that night(
No", "ho "ere these G Wise 5en, and ho" did they kno" a king of )srael "as
being born that night9 Well, if they "ere Wise 5en, they "ere stronomer-strologers(
They sa" an unusual con*unction of stars and planets in the sky that appeared as one
giant ne" star, and it "as rising off the hori&on in the 'ouse of 6isces((("hich means a
great man is being born in the 'ouse of the ?e"s( 1o, they put t"o-and-t"o together and
rode off to )srael "here they e#pected to find a king being born(((some"here there(
+kay, so no" ) kno" that ?esus. birth "as astrologically predicted, and belie%ed
in by e%erybody "ho belie%es in the %irgin birth of the nointed +ne( 1o, it occurred to
me that if ) kne" the e#act moment of ?esus. birth, and e#act location "ithin a fe" miles,
) could enter 'im into my computer astrology program and get a reading on 'im0
<,ear "ith me, ).m going some"here "ith this miracle story= bout this time,
modern stronomers -- those scientists "ho study star mo%ements to point missiles, etc(
-- had determined that ?esus. star appeared in the night sky on 1eptember 1J
th
, making
that 'is actual birth date( nd, it "as rising off the hori&on into the 'ouse of 6isces0
1ince "e.re looking at a star in the sky, the birth must ha%e taken place bet"een 10pm
and midnight, because that.s "hen it gets dark in ,ethlehem in 1eptember( The year "as
harder to determine because that.s the one thing scientists can.t pin do"n( The closest
they could come "as an 11 year spread bet"een F b(c( and E a(d(
No", ) kno" that ,ethlehem is e#actly J miles due 1outh of ?erusalem <"here
'erod "as=( nd, ) kne" that for accuracy, all an strologer needs the e#act correct day
of the correct month to affect 10 'ouses!, the correct time of birth to "ithin 2 hours that
affects 2 'ouses!( nd, the year is %ery unimportant hardly affecting 1 'ouse!, in a
person.s chart( 1o, the year could be %ery off, and the chart "ould still be DDQ accurate(
Thus encouraged, ) entered ?esus into my strology program( /or the year, )
didn.t kno" ho" to enter a negati%e number <for b(c(= and ) didn.t kno" if a &ero year
<0000= "ould "ork, so ) entered 0001 a(d(
The personality that it pulled up "as astounding0 )t "as as close to "hat you
"ould e#pect ?esus. chart to say as it could possibly be0 The first thing that struck me
"as that he had one of each 1ign in 'is chart( ).%e ne%er seen that before( C%erybody
else has multiples of some 1igns and are missing some others( ,ut, ?esus had them all0
strologically, that "ould tell me that 'e "as a perfect human being(((perfectly balanced
"ithin 'imself "ith %irtually no self-doubts and no fears0
C#cited, ) ad%anced 'im to age GG "hich "ould ha%e then been in the year 00GE
a(d(, ostensibly the year 'e "as crucified, and did a 'oroscope to predict "hat "ould
happen to him on that date( The date and city "ere easy( 'e died on Caster, "hich is
really 6asso%er, for 'im( The 6ublic @ibrary ga%e me the e#act date of 6asso%er
"eekend in the ?e"ish month of Nissun in GE a(d(, and 'e "as crucified in ?erusalem(
<1tick "ith me, this gets better=(
) then read 'is horoscope for that date( )t said things like, Tonight you "ill dine
"ith close friends( ,ut, be"are of one of them, as he is not to be trusted(!( Then it said,
Tomorro" you "ill "ant to make a sacrifice for all of mankind(! ,ut, before that, your
emotions "ill run rampant( Take time to ponder your ne#t actions( 8our fate is in your
o"n hands!(
) mar%eled at all that ) read(
@ater, ) decided to look up Nostradomus. birth information( When ) "ent to enter
it in(((around 1J00 a(d( or so as ) recall, the computer program ble" up and up came a
trouble bo# that said, 8ou cannot enter a date earlier than 1J00 a(d(( 6lease try again
"ith a later date(!
Wait a minute0! ) thought( ) *ust D)D0! 1o, ) "ent back into the program and
looked up "hat ) had sa%ed about ?esus( There it "as, and ) could still read it0 ,ut, the
horoscope doesn.t sa%e on this program, so ) reentered 'is death! date again, but this
time ) got the trouble bo#0 )t "ouldn.t let me go back there0
1o, ) reentered ?esus. birth information, and the trouble bo# popped up again0
8ou cannot enter a date earlier than 1J00 a(d(( 6lease try again "ith a later date(! the
computer program said0 'ey, "ait a doggone minute, ) argued out loud((() already put
that date in and got a result0! ,ut, the computer program "ould ha%e none of it no matter
ho" many times ) tried( ,ut, my original entry "as still there((("ith ?esus. personality0
) can.t e#plain it, but it is still there on my computer for all to see( To me, that it
is a miracle is enough of an e#planation(
T(E CONC51S:ON
The conclusion is there is no NconclusionN or, no NendN( )n other "ords, you and )
cannot die( @et me see if ) can pro%e my point(
@et.s start "ith a miracle( NmiracleN is a great, big freebie( "indfall(
1omething "onderful that is une#pected because "e didn.t take any causal action to
make it happen( miracle can take many forms from, say, curing cancer to "inning the
@ottery( These things happen for some people, but some"hat less spectacular miracles
happen in each of our li%es, don.t they90
n open parking spot opens up right in front of the door *ust "hen "e need it
most( +r, "e can.t find our car keys( They.re not "here they.re supposed to be, and
"e.%e looked e%ery"here( )f "e don.t find them in the ne#t J minutes, "e.ll miss that
all-important ne" *ob inter%ie" and, "e.re panicking( Then the dog barks and "e look
do"n, and, sure enough, there
they are in the dog.s basket *ust in the nick of time(
Those are miracles, too( ).m guessing you "ere saying a glib little prayer at the
time( Not a real, solemn prayer like in church, of course( Not a NrealN prayer( ?ust sort of
a frustrated, ner%ous little thing like, N+h, please, $od, let there be a parking space "hen
) get there(N +r,
NWhere are those dang keys9 $od0 Where are those keys9 +h, $od, please help me to
find those keys0N
No", you kno" "hat9 Those are NrealN prayers, too( 8ou see, "e turn to $od for
help "hen nothing NearthlyN "ill do( When there is nothing humanly possible to do to
effect the outcome "e desire, "e turn to $od, out of frustration as there is no"here else
to turn, for assistance(
1peaking of little miracles, ) kno" an octogenarian "ho says, Nny day ) "ake up
is a miracle0N
No", if after getting that parking space, or after finding the lost keys our lightened
heart attributes our good fortune to NluckN, "e "ill ha%e missed the point( We.ll be, "hat
$od calls, Nsleep"alkingN( We "ill see oursel%es as being at the NmercyN of life, rather
than at the NcauseN of the affects of our li%es(
6eople "ho kno" this -- that Di%ine )nter%ention can be called on and NusedN
literally -- can, and do Nmo%e mountainsN(
/or e#ample, let.s say that someone you kno" is passing from this life <to the
ne#t=, as a result of cancer of the body( ,ut, you don.t "ant them to go *ust yet( nd,
e%en more importantly, they don.t "ant to go *ust yet( @et.s say that you and they kno"
this little secret --that $od can and "ill inter%ene "ith a great, big miracle and intercede
*ust for the asking and
belie%ing(
Soila0 @ike magic, the cancer "ill disappear from your lo%ed one.s body0 )t has
happened *ust this "ay( 1ometimes it happens un-consciously and sometimes it happens
consciously( What.s the difference9 Sery little, really( Cither "ay, the operati%e key to
getting a miracle lies in the person.s le%el of faith ha%ing been raised to the le%el of
Nkno"ingN( They kno" their prayer "ill be ans"ered( The difference is, "ith the un-
conscious person they don.t kno" ho" it "orks( While "ith the conscious <or, a"ake=
person, they kno" e#actly ho" it happens(
/or me to pro%e to you that life is eternal, it "ill be necessary for me to N"ake
you upN and help you become a conscious, acti%e player in your o"n life( )n other "ords,
it "ill no longer be sufficient for you to continue going through life seeing life as a series
of circumstances Nhappening to youN( 8ou.ll ha%e to "ake up to the fact that the e%ents
of your life are "hat you, yourself, ha%e caused to happen to gi%e yourself a chance to
e#perience being the %ery best you can be(
@et.s take a look at ho" that happens( @et.s say you think that you "ant to be as
rich as the president of a corporation( ,:T, you are not "illing to go to college and
ma*or in ,usiness dministration( 8ou opt out of that opportunity by telling yourself that
you Ncan.t afford college!(
,ut, of course, if you really "anted that, you could find a "ay e%en if it meant
going into debt( ,ut, in truth, if you probed your reality *ust a little deeper, you "ould
admit to yourself that college "ould boor you, or you.d be in o%er your head "ith the
studies( )n fact, closer scrutiny of
your psyche. might re%eal that you really don.t "ant the responsibility of managing other
people(
This "ould be a good e#ercise to put yourself through -- this plummeting of the
depths of your heart.s truest desires to help you focus on "hat you really do "ant out of
this life(
1o, no" you.%e faced the facts and come to the reali&ation that you don.t really
"ant to be a corporate president( 8ou really *ust "ant the money(
1o, you decide to call upon $od to simply gi%e you the money( 1ounds simple
enough, right9 )f that.s all it takes, then "hy doesn.t that happen9
Well, for a number of reasons -- all ha%ing to do "ith you and your blockage
of allo"ing $od to deli%er(
/irst and foremost, search your heart( Do you really think $od is going to s"oop
do"n from hea%en and drop a bundle of cash at your feet90 6robably not0 1uch things
*ust don.t happen in life, do they9 1o, if that.s "hat you truly believe in your heart-of-
hearts, you "ill kill your o"n miracle right there0 1imilarly, if you don.t belie%e in
miracles, or don.t belie%e that
$od performs miracles anymore or, "orse yet, if you don.t belie%e there is a $od in the
first place, you.%e *ust cut yourself off from this incredible po"er source(
,ut, let.s say that you do belie%e in $od and 'is ability to be proacti%ely in%ol%ed
in your life( )f you don.t feel "orthy of 'is lo%e and beneficence, then you "on.t think
'e.s going to ans"er your prayer, and you.%e *ust killed your miracle off0
,ut, let.s say you belie%e ) $od and 'is miracles and you do feel "orthy of 'is
@o%e( 1o, you say to $od, N) "ant to be "ealthy(N 8ou.%e *ust killed it off again0 )f you
want something, $od must gi%e you that -- the wantin of it0 Why9 ,ecause, "hen you
say you N"antN something, you are making a statement to $od that you don.t ha%e it(
nd, since $od has
already created e%erything for e%erybody, and you can only call it into being by
ackno"ledging that you already ha%e it( NWantingN it doesn.t allo" you to recogni&e that
it is already on its "ay to you(
+kay, so let.s cut you some slack and say that you belie%e in $od, 'is miracles,
your "orthiness, and you accept that $od has already gi%en you your miracle of money --
you.re *ust "aiting for it to manifest and sho" up in your life( Well, bunky, you *ust
killed it off again because, if you tell $od you are N"aitingN, guess "hat9 8up0 8ou.ll get
the N"aitN e#perience(
$ees, "hat a frustrating e#perience all of this miracle business is, huh9 Why is it
like that9 Well, the reason is because of Nfree "illN( +n the one hand, $od has already
created all of the possibilities you are going to in%oke in each ne#t instance( 7hoosing
e%ery moment of e%ery day is "hat "e do( 7hoosing to belie%e in oursel%es or not(
7hoosing to belie%e in $od or not( 7hoosing to continue our education or not(
7hoosing to belie%e in miracles or not( 7hoosing, choosing, choosing(
+kay, so no" let.s say you.%e got it all together( 8ou.%e chosen to belie%e in
$od, chosen to belie%e in miracles, chosen to belie%e in your o"n "orthiness, chosen to
belie%e that $od has already pro%ided your miracle for you, and chosen not to "ait for it(
8ou ha%e chosen to put it out of your mind and *ust forget about it -- trusting that $od
"ill ha%e it sho" up in your
life at the right and perfect moment( Whe"0 /inally0 +r could something else be missing9
1ure enough( s soon as you correctly in%oke your miracle of riches, the e%ery
first thing you "ill e#perience is po%erty0 That.s right, po%erty0 NW'T90N you say,
NWhat.s T'T all about90N
Well, take a moment and look at it from $od.s point-of-%ie"( 'e.s already gi%en
you riches beyond your "ildest imagination( @ife, food, agility, a brain, muscles, shelter,
people "ho lo%e you, people to lo%e, sunshine, rain, trees, flo"ers, air to breath( What
more could you "ant9 What more is there of real %alue9
car, you say9 8es, cars are nice, and con%enient( ,ut, "hat.s it for9 5aybe
you bought your 6ontiac $T to impress your neighbor9 )s this the neighbor "ho o"ns a
@e#us and looks do"n on domestic cars9 +kay, you really "ant a car *ust to dri%e from
here to there( What.s o%er there that isn.t o%er here9 <) guess "e could chase this
con%ersation for a thousand more pages before "e.d disco%er that "hat you.re dri%ing all
o%er 7hristendom to get is a
*ob, to get money, to get lo%e, to buy food, to lea%e the city, to %isit $od.s trees and
flo"ers that you had all along(=
,ut, back to your money( 1o you ask $od for gobs and gobs of money, and first,
'e sends you po%erty0 Why9 Well, since 'e has already sent you the money, per your
re-uest, 'e has to also send you the opposite so that you can Ne#perienceN the thing you
call NrichN( fter all, ho" can you kno" NrichN if you don.t kno" Nnot richN in this
relati%e "orld9
1o, first, you must bless the po%erty as being part -- the first part -- of your
miracle of rich( ,ut, if you resist po%erty, and curse it, and curse your NmisfortuneN it
"ill cling to you like "hite on rice(
,ut, if you accept it as the forerunner, or harbinger of your "ealth miracle that.s
coming, you "ill hasten your "ealth.s arri%al(
Do this a fe" times( 7all a miracle, large or small, into your life, and then be
calm, kno"ing in ad%ance that $od has already pro%ided it( 1o, thank $od, in ad%ance of
your miracle sho"ing up, and you "ill be ackno"ledging that it "ill because you kno" it
has already been created for you in your life( Do this a fe" times, and you "ill "ake up
to the truth of life(
Then you "ill begin to see the pattern( 6retty soon you "ill see that you are
constantly mo%ing from one miracle to another, day-in and day-out(
Sery soon you "ill tune into the oscillation of the "a%es of the up and do"n of
life( The breathing in and breathing out of life.s e#periences( This is the %ery rhythm of
life(
Then it "ill occur to you that this )1 the miracle of life, and that life itself is the
ne%er-ending constant miracle( Then you may be pri%ileged to see that life and death, life
and death, life and death is the rhythm of the :ni%erse( The %ery breathing in and out of
$od(
Then you "ill kno" that $od is ali%e and "ell and eternal and that "e are 'is
%ery breath( 1o, "e cannot die( /or, for us to die, $od "ould ha%e to stop breathing and
die, too(
nd $od can NCSC> die0
7hapter 1J
5iracles re-uire ,ack"ard Thinking
(((+r not0
We ha%e to gi%e it up, to get it!( 1ounds like nonsense, doesn.t it9 That is a
phrase that occurred to me before ) e%en kne" any of the things "e.%e discussed in this
book( 1omeho", it made sense to me( ,ut, ) couldn.t e#plain it( ) ha%e come to reali&e
that it means nothing matters!( </or a fuller e#planation of "hat nothing matters!
means, $od e#plains it %ery "ell, and in scientific terms, in Neale Donald Walsch.s
Conversations With God! trilogy of books(=
@et.s assume, for a moment that nothing truly matters!( )f nothing matters, then
it can.t get to you!( There "as a line in a mo%ie about a man "rongly con%icted of a
crime, and then suffered much abuse at the hands of the prison guards and other inmates(
'e reported to his friend that he struggled and struggled against all of this in*ustice, only
to bring e%en more hurt and pain do"n upon his head( nd, then it occurred to him( 'e
had reached the end of his rope!, so to speak( 'e finally ga%e up the struggle, and *ust
didn.t care anymore "hat happened to him(
'e decided, he said, to *ust simply not take anything anymore(((e%en if it cost him
a life sentence( 'e came to reali&e that he "as fighting the "hole "orld, and that "hat he
had been trying to do <on his o"n, apparently= "as to sa%e his life(((or way of life! that
"as already gone, any"ay( 'e decided to take a stand( 'e *ust "asn.t going to take the
abuse anymore(((!e%en if it costs me my life!, he told his friend( 1o, he ga%e it! up( )t!
being the struggle! to try and make life come out the "ay he "anted it(((by himself(
'ad he found $od9 6robably not, in the conscious sense( 'e "as *ust gi%ing up!( ,y
doing so, he took his hands off the steering "heel of his o"n life( ll of a sudden things
changed for him dramatically( 'e got the respect he "as looking for, because, as he said,
) "as "illing to die, if necessary!, in order not to let things continue on as they "ere(
'e found that, "hen he "as "illing to gi%e it up!, he got "hat he "as looking for(
6eople started to take notice of "hat he "as saying about his innocence( +ther
prisoners, and e%en the guards, let up on him( 'e surmised that they felt themsel%es to be
in mortal danger, if they challenged him, because they percei%ed that he "as no" "illing
to fight to the death(((and others rarely are(
,ut, from my perspecti%e, he had finally let go!, and accepted his plight, and
more importantly, accepted the fact that he couldn.t change it( When he stepped out of
the picture, $od stepped in(
The 5a&t F'
The second time my home "as threatened by foreclosure <there ha%e been E times
so far= for being behind in my mortgage payments "as "hen, as mentioned earlier, ) "as
let go from my mall manager *ob, so my boss.s best friend could ha%e my *ob(
+h, to be sure, the %ery day ) left, $od had produced my old friend >on, "ho got
me a 6rogrammer for my dream product the %ery ne#t day( ,ut, the program, ) needed
"ritten, "as pro*ected to be huge( )t could take months(((e%en years(((to "rite, and then
there "as no assurance it could be "ritten( The program needed the %ery latest in
technology, and in those early days of personal computers, "e "ere pushing the limits of
"hat they could do(
5y ne" 6rogrammer friend thought it to be a daunting task, but he "as "illing to
tackle it, on the assumption that the ans"ers "ould re%eal themsel%es as he "ent along( )
liked his attitude( )t spoke %olumes about his faith!( 'e told me that it "ould take at
least a fe" months( ) "as nai%e enough to ha%e been unprepared financially for this
e%entuality( ) "asn.t particularly concerned at the time because, e%en though ) "as broke
again, ) ne%er considered my money my money, any"ay( No matter ho" much money )
"as paid, it "as al"ays *ust enough to pay my bills and pro%ide basic creature comforts( )
had rarely been able to sa%e any money to get ahead( ) al"ays felt like ) "as *ust the go-
bet"een from the source of the money and the people "ho ended up "ith it(
)n short, ) had no money to li%e on( ,ut, fortunately, ) had been fired at the end of
1eptember, and +ctober 1st "as the beginning of a ne" Na%al >eser%e fiscal year(
>eser%ists are re-uired to perform t"o "eeks of annual training on acti%e duty e%ery
year, so ) "as no" -ualified to go again(
) sat do"n on my sofa, once more, and looked up at the ceiling( ) need a Na%y
*ob, ,ig $uy( 6lease make one a%ailable to me,! ) said, fully e#pecting that 'e had a
plan for feeding me until my program "as done(
No", let.s step back for a moment( 1ome might say that ) could possibly ha%e
been limiting $od in "hat $od could do for me, because ) "as ;dictating. that my
solution should be a ;Na%y *ob.( nd, they.d be right0 ) could ha%e *ust simply asked,
6lease sol%e my food problem for the necessary time period until ) am earning an
income, again(! nd, of course, $od "ould ha%e( ,ut, for me, this ;getting faith. thing
"as an e%ol%ing e#perience( ) "as, as in the "ords of )ndiana ?ones, (((making it up as )
go!(
The phone rang( )t "as a Na%al 7ommand( They needed a public affairs officer,
"hich is "hat ) "as, immediately, and had been calling around to see if they could
;recruit. anybody on a moment.s notice( 5ost +fficers had a ci%ilian *ob, so they
couldn.t *ust tell their boss they "ere taking off "ithout some period of notice( ) "as the
tenth one he had called, and he "anted to kno" if ) could go tomorro"9
No", this is a %ery unusual scenario( Normally, the commands. publish their *ob
openings for >eser%ists! for se%eral "eeks, or e%en months( Then the applicant must fill
out an +rders re-uest, submit -ualification forms, and then the re-uired "aiting time is
t"o months for +rders processing( ,ut, sometimes, "hen a command is desperate, they
can ha%e the t"o months "ai%ed( This "as *ust such a circumstance( ) accepted, and "as
on an airplane the %ery ne#t day(
The good ne"s "as, the Na%y "ould be housing and feeding me for the t"o
"eeks, and ) "ould earn enough to take care of my li%ing needs for another t"o "eeks
after that( 1o, a month "as miraculously pro%ided for0
:pon my return, ) "ent through my pay in the ne#t t"o "eeks, and found myself
right back "here ) had been the month before(((and the program "riting "as *ust
beginning at a %ery slo" pace, because my friend, ?im, had his o"n soft"are business to
run, as "ell as "rite my program(
) *ust "ent back to my ceiling, and said, No" "hat9 7ould you find me another
Na%y *ob9! The phone rang again, an hour later( )t "as the Na%y again( )t seemed they
had another hurry-up *ob, and "anted to kno" if ) could accept it( The plane "as lea%ing
the ne#t day( ) "as on it, mar%eling at my ;good fortune.( The Na%y had a rule that a
>eser%ist could only go on one acti%e duty assignment a year, but, if it met the needs of
the Na%y, one could perform a second special! acti%e duty( 'ere "as mine, in unheard
of record time0
) should ha%e reali&ed the bigger picture at this point, but ) didn.t( ) should ha%e
seen that $od had this all planned out for me, in ad%ance( $od didn.t "ant me to fail(
nd, $od kne" that ) "as counting on $od to sol%e my problem( 1o, ) should ha%e
reali&ed that it didn.t matter if $od ga%e me my food money in monthly spurts, or yearly
spurts( ) should ha%e reali&ed that, since ) had turned it o%er to $od,
it((("ould(((come(((ho"e%er((("hene%er(
fter ) had come back and "ent through my pay again, it "as no" the beginning
of December, and ) "as broke again( +n December Jth, ) "ent to the refrigerator to
make dinner, and disco%ered that ) had gone through all of my food( ) opened my "allet
to see ho" much money ) had( There "as PJ in there( ) "ent back to my sofa to ponder
this dilemma( 5y friend, the 6rogrammer, called( 'e reported that he had ;hit a "all.,
and "as stumped as to ho" to proceed, and, indeed, did not think his limited skills "ere
up to the task0 'e said that he had another friend, far more skilled at programming than
himself, and that he "as thinking of bringing him into the pro*ect, but that fella "ould
re-uire an e-ual piece of the o"nership, as "ell, in order to be enticed to program on-
the-come!( ) readily agreed(
+h, great0! ) thought( nother delay(((and ) can.t e%en hold out for his
agreement, let alone the months that "ill be re-uired to complete the pro*ect0! <7an you
see ho" faithless! ) can be most of the time9=
1ometimes needs can be so pressing, and immediate, that "e get scared about the
ob%ious outcome, and lose sight of "hat ) call ;the bigger picture of $od.s daily
presence, moment-by- moment, in our li%es.(
s ) sat there on the sofa staring into my "allet at the orphaned PJ bill, )
remember sighing, and looking up again( +kay, $od, ) gi%e up,! ) said( @ooks like
).m not eating tonight(((or tomorro"(((or, maybe ne%er again( C%en if ) asked you for a
*ob, it "ould take a "eek or t"o to land it, and then start it, and, then ) "ouldn.t see a
payday for at least another t"o "eeks( 1o, that "on.t "ork0!
=Or,...not?
) sighed to myself, again( Then, ) said to $od, @ooks like 8ou.re going ha%e to
find a "ay to feed me, since ) can.t(((or5 if not, ).ll *ust die( ).m ready( ).m tired of this
constant struggle to keep my home, and e%erything going( )f you "ant to feed me, that.s
fine( )f not, that.s fine, too0! nd, ) meant it( ) "as, finally, *ust gi%ing up( ) "asn.t
doing it "ith the thought of $i%e it up to $et it!( ) "as *ust flatly gi%ing up!( nother
"ay to look at it "as, ) "as dropping the responsibility for my o"n life and turning it
o%er to $od(
The thought had barely left my head, in prayer, "hen the phone range( )t "as my
old maga&ine partner, >uss( ,ill,! he said %ery slo"ly, you.re not going to belie%e this0
) *ust got a call from the company "e licensed our maga&ine to( >emember that the deal
"as that they "ould pay enough cash to settle our last business debts9!
8es, ) remember,! ) said half-heartedly, focused no", not on his call, but on my
o"n resolution to die-by-default of not ha%ing any food in the house(
Well, do you remember that they also committed to paying us royalties "hen the
maga&ine reached a certain income point9! he asked(
+h, yeah,! ) replied, ) remember that( That "as years ago(!
Well, they +&* it0! he declared, e#citedly( ) am holding in my hand, e%en as "e
speak, a check for you for PJ,000( nd, "hat.s more, ).ll be sending you a check for
PJ,000 e%ery month for the ne#t G years0!
) *ust closed my eyes, and said a silent ;Thank you.( ) could feel the tears "elling
up( ) "as so ashamed that ) had, once again, seemingly had lost faith in $od and $od.s
miracles, "hen in actuality, ) "as holding onto! my problem, and not turning it o%er to
$od(((until the moment before the phone rang0 When ) hung up the phone, ) had a
serious con%ersation "ith $od( ) apologi&ed for my human fallings, and fear( )
apologi&ed for not being able to consistently ;keep the faith. and release responsibility for
my problems( ) berated myself for ha%ing to learn the same lessons of faith o%er, and
o%er, again( ) thanked $od for al"ays coming through at my darkest hours( ) promised
to ne%er forget again(
).m sorry to report that ) had to sink e%en lo"er in my self-misery in the follo"ing
years, and had to learn these lessons o%er, and o%er again, repeatedly, and to this day
cannot count on myself to not backslide(
Co##ander
When ) started my military career E0 years ago, ) "as an enlisted man( +ur
7ommanding +fficer "as a 7olonel( That rank "as so high, that ) couldn.t imagine "hat
it "ould take to get eagles on my shoulder( ,ut, ) determined that "as my goal( )
returned to the military through the >eser%e program "hile in college( C%entually, )
became a @ieutenant 7ommander in the Na%al >eser%e, only t"o ranks belo" my
lifelong goal( ) belie%ed then, as ) do no", that ) "ould make 7aptain, the Na%y.s
e-ui%alent of a 7olonel(
,ut, ) "as ;passed o%er. for 7ommander, the ne#t rank up, and a prere-uisite for
making 7aptain0 ) couldn.t belie%e it0 'o" could this be9 ) searched my soul( )
reflected upon my actions( ) had the -ualifications( )n fact, ) had to be one of the best
-ualified for the promotion(
nd yet, someho", ) "as not selected for promotion( s ) reflected, ) reali&ed
ho" ) had kept control by bringing my file up-to-date, by "riting letters, and submitting
documents to the 1election ,oard( )n fact, ) had done e%erything the Na%y suggests one
to do to ensure a fa%orable re%ie"( ,ut, still, ) had failed( C%en though ) had prayed, and
asked $od to deli%er my sil%er oak lea%es as a miracle, ) had not let go(
The ne#t year, ) decided to do it right! this time0 ) prayed, and asked $od for the
miracle of my promotion( ,ut, as the time neared, ) couldn.t seem to keep myself from
"orrying( 1urely $od "ouldn.t mind if ) participated a little bit, ) rationali&ed( fter
all, ) am re-uired to send in a current photograph( 'o" can $od "ork $od.s miracle for
me if my photo is out of date, ) reasoned( nd, as long as ) "as sending in a photo, it
couldn.t hurt to add a letter updating my accomplishments, could it9 <7an you see the
errors of my rationali&ing9 ) didn.t0=
) got passed o%er for a second time( Well, that.s supposed to be it( T"ice is all
one gets( +h, sure, you can be re%ie"ed again, if you are still eligible, but your file is in
the ;dead pile.(
The ne#t year, ) ;meddled. in again, by "riting to the 1election ,oard( nd, ) got
passed o%er again0 ) *ust couldn.t belie%e that $od "as turning $od.s back on me0 'o"
"as ) going to make 7aptain, if ) couldn.t make 7ommander90
The follo"ing year, ) "as still eligible, but all seemed hopeless by no"( 1till, )
kno" that a miracle is a great, big freebie! that happens against all logic and impossible
odds( 1o, ) prayed and asked $od, again, for this, by no", a really big miracle0 ,ut, this
time, ) put it out of my head( ) didn.t care if my photo "as out of date( ) didn.t care if
the ,oard didn.t kno" about my most recent accomplishments( )n short, ) *ust didn.t
care( ) didn.t "orry( ) decided to put it all behind me, and get out of $od.s "ay(
) "as promoted(
Wo"0! ) thought, $otta. remember this lesson0! ) "as pretty proud of myself(
) didn.t think anybody got promoted the fourth time up0
fe" months later, ) "as attending a Na%y social gathering of +fficers( ) kept
pretty much to myself, because ) didn.t kno" any of the others( While standing on the
fringes of a group, listening in on the con%ersation, ) heard one of the +fficers remark,
8eah, ) sat on the last 7ommander 1election ,oard( nd, ) had a funny e#perience( )
"as gi%en a file for an +fficer "ho had been passed o%er se%eral times, so naturally )
thought he "asn.t "orth considering( ) glanced through it and reali&ed that this +fficer --
somebody named ;Tucker. -- "as %ery "ell -ualified, so ) asked the president of the
,oard to include it for re%ie"(! ) "alked a"ay smiling to myself(
Then, ) got orders to attend the War 7ollege( While there, ) "as sitting ne#t to a
helicopter pilot, "ho "as also a 7ommander rank( ) leaned o%er to him, full of myself,
and bragged, ) *ust made 7ommander on the fourth time up0!
'e leaned back, and "hispered, 5e, too0 ,ut, it "as my se%enth time before the
,oard0! ) "as shocked( ) asked him ho" that had come to pass90 ) finally *ust asked
$od for it,! he said matter-of-factly(
Bla%+ Tue&da.
,lack Tuesday! is the term gi%en to the 1tock 5arket crash of +ctober 2D, 1D2D,
"hen merica "as thro"n into a panic o%er stock market losses, and great numbers of
companies failed, thro"ing millions of mericans out of "ork, for years( We, in our
fledgling soft"are company, faced our o"n ;,lack Tuesday. on a ?une 1Jth(
)t took months, that stretched into years, to de%elop our %ery complicated soft"are
program( /inally, "e placed it "ith one company as a beta test site( 1ince it "as still in
its e#perimental stage, "e couldn.t charge full price for it, so the income it produced "as
barely enough to scrape by on( We "ere going broke( ,ut, the soft"are performed
ama&ingly "ell( )t li%ed up to our promises to our >ealtor customers that it "ould
shorten the turn-around time for selling their buyers from an a%erage of 2 months, do"n
to an a%erage of 2 days( /our-thousand customers "ere processed through the soft"are
that year, and all bought the computer.s selection, and they bought in an a%erage day-
and-a-half each(
We launched our business, and sold our beta customer a soft"are package at our
full price( 'o"e%er, that customer "anted some modifications made before taking
deli%ery( The modifications stretched from "eeks into months( While the programmers
"ere hard at "ork, ) called on the largest bankers to offer them the opportunity of
marketing the product to their >ealtor customers( The bankers hesitated(((and
hesitated(((and hesitated, and "e got broker(((and broker(((and broker(
When the modifications "ere done, and ) "ent to deli%er the product, the
customer said they had changed their mind, and decided they didn.t "ant to pay that
much( 1ince our price "as rock bottom lo", and "e couldn.t go any lo"er, the deal fell
apart( )t turned out that customer company "as also going broke, and they failed soon
after"ard(
We had been reprogramming for J months, and "ere no" destitute oursel%es( 5y
emotions sunk to an all-time lo"( ) "as desperate( +ne "ould think that ).d ha%e learned
my ;miracle. lessons by no"( fter all, ) had years of e#perience "ith such tough
circumstances( ,ut, as ).%e mentioned, it is %ery hard for me to li%e in the faith
constantly( 5y thoughts "ere of $od %irtually daily, but as a ;concept.(((not as a li%ing,
breathing ,eing acti%e in my daily life(
)n desperation, ) turned then, once again, hea%en"ard( ) asked $od to sol%e our
problem, and keep us from bankruptcy( /or the third time, ) "as teetering on ha%ing my
home /oreclosed on( ) thanked $od, of course( Then ) turned my attention to "hat )
could possibly do to stay busy, "hile $od "orked( ) had gotten a number of real estate
companies interested in buying our soft"are, but none of them "ere "illing to pay the
full amount all at once( )f "e could offer financing, such as through a credit card, then,
they said, they "ould buy(((en masse( 1o, ) decided to try and arrange for a credit card
%endorship, to make some sales, "hile $od "orked on the larger problem(
)n thinking my recent actions through, ) reali&ed that the only bank ) had not
approached "as the one "here ) banked myself( That.s odd,! ) thought to myself( Why
did ) o%erlook the ob%ious90! 1o, ) "ent to my local branch, and completed the
application for a credit card %endorship( The branch manager in%ited me into his office(
).m sorry, 5r( Tucker,! he said as ) sat do"n, but "e cannot appro%e your company for
a %endorship(!
Why not9! ) protested( )t "as a hot, sticky day, and ) "as all dishe%eled, tie
aske", slee%es rolled up( ) must ha%e looked as desperate as ) felt( ) "as "ishing ) had
taken the time to present myself more professionally(
,ecause your company is on the %erge of bankruptcy( 8ou are not a good credit
risk,! he e#plained(
,ut,(((but(((! ) stammered, it.s not us "ho need to pass credit "orthiness( )t.s
our clients "ho "ill be charging the money0!
Well, you see, the %endor, also, has to ha%e good credit( ).m sorry, but those are
the rules,! he said, apologetically(
) "as destroyed( ) "as at the end of my pro%erbial rope( ll the air seemed to
escape from my lungs, as this last hope slipped a"ay( ) got up to lea%e, shoulders
slumping(
,y the "ay,! he asked, almost as an after-thought, "hat.s that laptop computer
you.%e got "ith you9 )s that your soft"are program9! ) replied that it "as( 5ay ) see
it9! he asked(
) sat back do"n, and ga%e him a brief demonstration( Wo"0 That.s terrific,! he
said( 'a%e you sho"n it to our mortgage di%ision9!
) replied that "hile most of the other large banks in to"n had seen it, ) had
inad%ertently o%erlooked sharing it "ith his company(
'e immediately picked up the phone, and called someone important at their
mortgage di%ision( When he hung up, he asked, 7an you go o%er there right a"ay9
They are %ery interested in seeing "hat you.%e got there(! ) agreed( ) freshened up, and
fi#ed my tie before lea%ing(
When ) arri%ed at the mortgage di%ision, the di%ision president met me at the
door, "armly( ) demonstrated our product in full, and he immediately sa" the ad%antage
it brought to >ealtors( nd, he sa" "hat a great opportunity there "as for his company
to market it( 'e said that he "ould like to enter into negotiations to "ork out a marketing
agreement "ith our company, but cautioned me that "e "ere not allo"ed to sell any
product, or that "ould surely kill the deal(
) said, ).m sorry, then, but ).ll ha%e to pass( We are so broke, that ) cannot let a
day go by "ithout trying to make us money selling(!
'o" much do you need9! he asked(
P10,000 a month, *ust to keep the company ali%e, "ith the number of employees
"e ha%e,! ) responded(
Done0! he said, and ordered that a check for P10,000 be cut immediately( )
"alked out of there staring in "onderment at the check in my hand( ) had absolutely no
doubt ho" it had gotten there0
C%entually, the agreement generated close to a million dollars in%ested in our
company and product( No", "hen "e had first started the pro*ect se%eral years before,
"e had done so "ith the complete agreement, and encouragement of the local database
o"ners, the 5ultiple @isting 1er%ice <5@1=( When the bank e%entually started
marketing our product, the >ealtors couldn.t line up to buy fast enough( @ocal
ne"spapers, and tele%ision ne"s sho"s reported on our phenomenal success( 1ales "ere
going through the roof0 nd, then, the roof ca%ed in(((again(
* Sharp Turn Ba%+ward wa& 8e9uired
+ur local 5@1 began to "orry that our product so enhanced their product, that
our search engine might replace theirs some day( They decided to end our endorsement
and access to data( ) protested that they "ere %iolating our agreement, but they pointed
out that it "as a %erbal agreement, and %ery hard to pro%e in a court-of-la"(
+nce again, our company collapsed o%ernight( ) suppose ) should ha%e --
immediately -- recogni&ed this stumbling block as another opportunity to remain calm
and go back upstairs!, but ).%e already pointed out my human failings enough, thus far(
).m sure you can en%ision the protest ) put up as ) struggled to right this "rong( fter all,
) am a good businessman, and salesman(((right9 +r, so ) thought( pparently though, as )
lost the sale!, ).m not good enough((("hen ) go it alone!0 nd, as usual, ) "as
attempting to fight my o"n good fight against the ;forces of e%il.(
+nce again, "e "ere defeated( We sunk back into financial obli%ion( We
brooded(
'o" are 8ou going to get us out of this pickle9! ) demanded of $od( The bank
called( 1orry, "e.re out of this soft"are business( We cannot take on the 5@1,! the
president said( +f course, he had been trying, behind the scenes, to negotiate some
middle ground solution, but had come up dry( 5@1 "as intractable(((at least, "here
home listings for sale! "ere concerned( ,ut, he had disco%ered that they "ere less
intractable "hen it came to old sold home data!( 'e had an idea, and called us in(
8ou kno",! the bank president strategi&ed, your product could be in%erted, and
"ould make an e#cellent computer appraisal product for %aluing homes, instantly0! he
enthused( nd the industry is bending o%er back"ard to try and de%elop something
along those lines(!
Cureka0 There "as the solution( ) had been e#cited, from the %ery first, at ha%ing
the opportunity of "orking "ith this man( Tom "as one of the most unselfish, genuinely
nice, and truly faithful businessmen ) had e%er met(
That "as, by no", an un"ritten, unspoken re-uirement! "e had in our company(
We didn.t hire anybody or do business "ith anybody "ho didn.t ha%e a strong faith in
$od( We felt that "e couldn.t risk ha%ing e%en one detractor in%ol%ed in helping us get
our miracles( )t.s probably illegal, these days, to ask someone about their faith in $od as
a condition of employment, so "e didn.t do this( nd, it.s also considered improper to
bring up religion in any business discussion, so "e didn.t do that, either( lthough, ) am
old enough to remember "hen in merica "e began e%ery school class day "ith the
6ledge of llegiance, and e%ery >otary, Li"anis, ,oy 1cout meeting, etc(, "ith a prayer
of thanksgi%ing to $od(

,ut, people being "hat they are, and the limitations of language in e#pressing
thoughts, it is %ery easy to detect "hat a person.s core beliefs are(
We immediately "ent to "ork to con%ert our product, en%isioning it as a sa%ior
for the appraisal industry( We "ere %isionary enough to reali&e that once computers "ere
adapted to that industry, ppraisers. employment "ould be threatened( We kne" that our
program could be used by them to increase production, and lo"er costs, resulting in
keeping them competiti%e, and in business!( The bank, of course, could not continue to
under"rite our de%elopment cost, but the president "ent to "ork to find another
sponsoring business "ith a %ested interest in under"riting us( 1e%eral ma*or national
companies e#pressed an interest, and things began to look up as our product took a sharp
turn back"ard(
The Clue
) "as spending a lot of non-business time pu&&ling o%er the turn e%ents had taken
in my life, relati%e to my relationship "ith $od( Why, ) "ondered, did there seem to be
such a roller coaster series of e%ents(((some success(((then some backsliding(((then success
again(((then backsliding again9 Was it to be ne%er-ending9 ) thought long and hard about
my actions, my faith, anything that ) "as contributing to the mi# that "ould be causing
these ups and do"ns( )t "as great that "e kept being brought back from the brink of
disaster(((but "hat in the "orld "ere "e doing on the brink so often9 What "as ) doing
"rong, ) "ondered(
There seemed to be some great big, ob%ious message ) "as missing( 5aybe ) "as
too close to the forest of miracles! to see the trees of solid faith!9 The thought
occurred to me, that "hile ) "as able to get back into a faithful relationship "ith $od
"hen it "as necessary, ) must not be li%ing in the faith!( ), of course, thought that ) "as(
Not a day passed that ) didn.t carry on a con%ersation "ith $od, pri%ately, and, to be sure,
it "as a seeming one "ay con%ersation, because $od ne%er spoke to me( C#cept once(
@et me step aside and tell you about that once, for a moment, before continuing
on( ) had been really crushed by the loss of a personal relationship some years before( )t
took some time for me to reali&e that ) had been o%erlooking some ob%ious problems
"ith the relationship, and had been rationali&ing myself into it( ,ut, at the time, the loss
"as de%astating( nd, ) "as angry o%er that(((once again( >ailing against $od, and ho"
$od could ha%e abandoned me, "hen ) so "anted the relationship to "ork out( ) lashed
out against $od, "hile dri%ing do"n the free"ay one day( ) "ant ans"ers0! )
demanded( ) kno" 8ou don.t ha%e a throat bo#, but 8ou can talk to me if 8ou "ant to(
fter all, 8ou.re $od( 8ou can do anything( 6lease(((tell me that ) "ill get through this,
and 8ou "on.t abandon me0! ) e#horted( ) "ant some ans"ers )#W0!
t that point, ) reali&ed that if $od did "ant to talk to me, $od could put the
"ords in my brain( ) didn.t ha%e to necessarily hear them in my ear( 1o, ) determined to
*ust stare out the car "indo", and lea%e my mind blank( Then, if ) heard a %oice in my
mind, ) reasoned, it "ould be $od talking to me( fter about a minute, the %oice in my
head said, 8ou are only being tested, ).ll fi# e%erything(!
That.s not $od0! ) thought to myself( That.s me, making this all up( What an
idiot ) am0 ).m stroking myself0 $od "ouldn.t ;test. anybody( $od doesn.t ha%e to(
$od lo%es e%erybody, regardless of their human failings( ,esides, ) recogni&e that
%oice(((that.s my o"n inner %oice(!
) dro%e on, putting the "hole matter out of my mind( ll of a sudden, ) heard a
%ery faint %oice in the far reaches of the back of my brain, and the tone "as different0 )t
"asn.t the inner %oice ) "as accustomed to hearing0 The Soice said -uietly and calmly,
'a%e ) e%er let you do"n9! ) got chills( *+A* "as $od0 nd, ) "as immediately
ashamed of myself for ha%ing -uestioned $od( No,! ) ans"ered aloud, 8ou ne%er
ha%e0!
nd, then ) reali&ed that, "hile $od has ne%er let me do"n, ) ha%e fre-uently let
$od do"n!( gain, as ) mentioned in the Foreword to this book, if there is a break
do"n in communication bet"een man and $od((("hose fault! do you think it is9 The
)nfallible +ne9 +r mankind.s9
C%entually, ) learned not to care( Not to care about anything ) percei%ed as
;trouble. in my life( Nothing matters, ) reasoned(((not if it.s going to come bet"een me
and $od( Nothing matters, if ) am going to get so o%er"rought that it distorts my %ie" of
the "orld, and the other people in it( @o%e is all there is, and my fuming and fussing is
interfering "ith that(
8ea%tion&
) started this 7hapter "ith 8ou ha%e to gi%e it up, to get it!( ) think it is time to
e#plore some of the ramifications of this back"ard! statement( )f one doesn.t care about
the outcome of a particular e%ent, then one doesn.t get upset! o%er things not going the
"ay one hopes for( ,y gi%ing it up!, one dismisses personal responsibility for a
particular outcome( That frees up the responsibility for it, and allo"s $od to take control(
We do this all the time -- e%ery day( @et me gi%e an e#ample(
The 1n&een, 1na%+nowledged $ira%le&
'o" do you feel today, right no", as you read this book9 re you feeling
healthy9 )f you ha%en.t thought about your health today, that is probably because you
don.t ha%e any current health issues( Therefore, you are not thinking((("orrying(((about
your health( Therefore, you are healthy( ,ut, could some health issue befall you in the
ne#t fe" minutes9 +f course it could(
)n*ury or disease can strike "ithout "arning at any moment in our li%es( ,ut, the
%ery fact that you are not "orried! about it at the moment means that you ha%e
forgotten! about "orrying about your health for the present moment(((and you are *ust
assumin good health!(
)s that not a miracle in itself9 Not the forgetting about it(((rather, the fact that you are
feeling healthy(
s an e#ample, "e e#pect to be healthy all of the time, don.t "e9 1o common in
our daily e#perience is this ;miracle. of health, that "e don.t e%en think about it( We
assume to feel healthy today( That "e don.t e%en e#pect a health problem, keeps it
completely out of our mind "hen "e arise in the morning, and go about the concerns of
our day( nd, "e stay healthy( Not note"orthy( :nimportant( )f "e "ere consciously
a"are of $od.s presence in our daily li%es, "e could thank $od, as "e arise, for
pro%iding for our health that day, and each day( ,ut, it.s *ust not "orth the effort, because
the thought that this might not be a healthy day, doesn.t e%en cross our mind(
)t is only on that day "hen a health issue raises its ugly head, that "e become
concerned!( We may be concerned! <read2 "orried= enough to seek out a doctor( ,ut,
on the hundreds, or e%en thousands of days that "e don.t ha%e a health issue, it is out of
our mind!( That day, $od is performing $od.s miracle of health for us, because "e ha%e
gi%en it up!(
Does $od re-uire us to thank $od each and e%ery day that "e ha%e good health,
for that particular day of good health9 +f course not( $od re-uires nothing of us(((e#cept
faith!( /aith in $od( 1o, "hen "e go about our daily li%es assumin good health, "e
are healthy( ssuming! is belie%ing!, "orry! is not(
:gnoring That Whi%h Cannot Be :gnored
nother back"ard statement( 7an "e ignore! that "hich cannot be ignored9
We must de%elop this skill, if "e e%er hope to recei%e miracles(
@et.s say that you ha%e a problem that is potentially de%astating to you( 8ou are
so upset about it that you find yourself gnashing your teeth, and cursing $od for allo"ing
it to happen to you( The only solution seems to be to turn to $od, and ask $od.s Di%ine
)ntercession( 1o, you ask $od for a particular miracle solution( nd(((you thank $od, in
ad%ance, for pro%iding the solution, even before it happens( +kay, problem sol%ed(
+r, is it9 )s it of such great importance that you find yourself "aiting, "ondering
and "orrying about ho", e%en $od, could possibly sol%e this issue9 7an you think of an
e#ample "here this has occurred in your life9 7an you see "here you started to unra%el
your miracle through doubt and fear9
ssuming for the moment that all of us can identify "ith the abo%e situation, *ust
"hat are "e to do "hen the issue is so pressing and troubling that "e cannot put it out of
our mind9 Well, ob%iously, if it is something beyond our percei%ed ability to control or
resol%e, meddling in it is not going to ser%e us( )f all "e can contribute is "orry!, that is
of no help at all, is it9
1o, "e must put it behind us( We must put it out of our head, and busy oursel%es
"ith other, mundane, issues of the day( )f "e can.t help $od, "e ought to, at least, get
out of the "ay and let $od "ork(((or not( @et us not take responsibility! for $od( )n
fact, let.s presume for a moment that there is no +mnipotent, ll @o%ing ,eing "atching
o%er us, and proacti%ely "orking $od.s miracles in our daily li%es( @et.s presume, for a
moment, that "e are gnostics( The definition of an gnostic! is one "ho isn.t sure
"hether there is a $od!, or not( They are theists hedging their bet( They really don.t
think that there is a $od!, but they are not "illing to go on record(((*ust in case( re
gnostics, then, belie%ers!9 +f course not( They are probably "orse off than theists,
because they don.t belie%e! in anything(((maybe not e%en good luck!0
1o, here.s this gnostic "ith a ma*or problem that he3she can.t sol%e for
him3herself( &f they can "alk a"ay! from their problem shrugging their shoulders, and
saying to themsel%es, Mue sera sera!, "hate%er "ill be, "ill be(((they are, at the %ery
least, starting do"n the road to faith!( No", if "hile "alking a"ay! from their
problem, they assume that all "ill turn out all right in the end, they "ill successfully
complete that *ourney( They "ill, then, probably consider themsel%es lucky!(
ssume, for a moment, that $od has a plan for e%erybody( ssume that your life
here on earth is to fulfill some purpose( )f "e are constantly praying for things to go the
"ay we "ant them to go, and they aren.t, maybe there is a message "e.re not hearing!(
5aybe(((*ust, maybe(((the best miracle prayer! "e could be praying should be not
My Will be done!, but, *hy Will ,e Done(((on earth, as it is in hea%en!(
$od says, in Walsch.s books <paraphrasing=, 6ray to 5e, kno"ing that ) "ill fi#
your problem(((or not0! That should be easier to deal "ith( Cither $od will pro%ide a
miracle(((or $od "on.t(((for "hate%er reason( 1ome religions, perple#ed as to "hy $od
"ould not ans"er e%ery prayer, as $od promises in 5ark 11222-2J, attempt to e#plain the
disappointment a"ay by saying, $od ans"ers all prayers(((but, sometimes the ans"er is
;No0.!
)f that "ere true, ho" could that possibly be9 $od says in 5ark 1122E,
Therefore, ) tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you receive it, and you
will(! ) don.t kno" about you, but ) don.t see ;No0. in that passage( ) do see a
commitment( ) see a promise!( ) see $od going on record saying that you and ) cannot
fail to recei%e $od.s beneficence(((&F W! -!'&!1!9
+nce "e AS%, "e must put our "orries and concerns about the issue behind us,
and "alk a"ay(((shrug it off(((make it not matter! to us any more( nd, once "e ask, "e
must not ask again( 1ome people pray for the same thing e%ery day( Why9 ,ecause "e
are fearful that it didn.t "ork the first day "e asked for it9 )f that.s the case, then
apparently "e didn.t really belie%e "hen "e did ask for it in prayer, so it "as a "aste of
time( sking for the same miracle a second time is only proof that "e didn.t belie%e
"hen "e first asked for it0 We absolutely must put it out of our minds once "e.%e prayed
and asked( ) reali&e that is a tall order for the fearful! human beings that "e are( ,ut, in
the %ery "ise "ords of 6resident /ranklin Delano >oose%elt, We ha%e nothing to fear,
but fear itself!0
/ear( /ear of failure( /ear that there is no $od( /ear that the seemingly terrible
e%ents in our li%es, that "e ha%e no po"er or control o%er, "ill defeat us, is the enemy of
our %ery souls( gain, as ) stated earlier, )f you ha%e a better solution for those things "e
are po"erless o%er, that "orks -- ).m all ears( 8et, ) ask you -- ha%e you ever defeated a
ma*or problem in your life "orrying about it9 No9 Then, "hy continue to do that9
+h, there may be some "ho "ould argue that there "ere circumstances in "hich
"orrying! made them think about it, turn it o%er in their minds, and then they -- their
o"n good brain -- came up "ith a solution, and they were able to resol%e the matter
satisfactorily( ) "ould concede that the human brain is capable of reasoning logic( The
human being is capable of ;problem-sol%ing.( ,ut, to those people, ) "ould ask, Was it
a humanly resol%able issue9! )f so, then maybe a miracle! "asn.t necessary( ,ut, those
are not the circumstances ) am talking about( ) am talking about the ones that you
ha%en.t the ability, or the time, or the energy, or the potential, for resol%ing for yourself(
)f you ha%en.t had one of those yet, "ait( ).m sorry to say that it is coming( )t comes into
e%erybody.s life( nd, you could say that $od is the cause of it coming into your life0
Why9! you may rightfully ask( )f $od is an ll @o%ing $od, "hy "ould $od
do this to us, $od.s children, "hom $od lo%es so dearly9! 7ould it possibly be, to teach
us lo%e!9 Think about it( +r, as my friend ?oe "ould say "hen something %ery ob%ious
is right under our noses and "e can.t see it -- Think it through!(
/irst of all, let.s look at the big picture here( )n the ,eginning, $od created((((!
What9 C%erything, right9 Wouldn.t e%erything! include both good and bad9 )f there
was a 1atan!, "ouldn.t $od ha%e had to create him, if $od created everything9 What
kind of a t"isted, mean trick "ould that ha%e been9 ) think it "ould be on a par "ith
creating cancer, leukemia, drunk dri%ers, plagues, pestilence, famine, and all of the
issues! that man finds himself confronted "ith on a daily basis, that "e find
o%er"helming(
7reating those things -- e%erything -- "ould be an unthinkably, cruel trick, if there
"as no solution( -$*(((if the solution is a ;fi#. for e%ery bad! thing 3ust for the
asking(((and believin, then maybe they are not such terrible things, after all( nd, if that
"ere true, then "hat could possibly be the reason for setting up <creating= such a system
in the first place9
Think it through( When $od does deli%er miracles to us, "hat kind of an act is
that9 n ll-@o%ing act9 nd, are "e grateful9 Do "e learn "hat real lo%ing! is(((by
e#ample9 Do "e "ish to emulate such kind caring and concern for our fello" man9 Do
"e learn to lo%e!, oursel%es9
When "e belie%e! in $od, "hat are "e doing(((really9 Why "ould it be
important to $od that "e demonstrate faith!9 When "e ha%e faith in $od(((belief in
$od(((aren.t "e demonstrating our love for God90 )s fear! defined as a lack of trust!9
)f so, is the definition of a lack of trust! a lack of faith9 nd, if so, isn.t a lack of faith!
a demonstration of a 2lack of lo%e!9
'o" else could $od demonstrate $od.s lo%e for us than to perform miracles in
our li%es9 That, being something that no one else could do for us, seems to me to be the
ultimate act of @o%e(
nd, from our position, ) cannot think of a greater act of /aith than to ask for
something seemingly impossible, and belie%ing that $od "ill come through for us0
Wh. God Created E,il
)t "ould be appropriate, at this point, to -uestion "hy "e e%en need miracles, at
all( fter all, if nothing "ent "rong in the first place, miracles "ouldn.t be necessary(
The reason $od created e%il!4and cancer, and po%erty in the first place "as so 'e
could e#press 'is 6erfect @o%e for us(
No", ) admit that sounds like back"ard thinking( )n fact, many, many people
"ant to see bad things as ha%ing nothing to do "ith $od( )n fact, our religions ha%e
created a sort of
$od-like lter-ego to abstain $od from any such responsibility( This lter-ego goes by
many names in %arious cultures -- the De%il, 1atan, ,eel&ebub( ,ut, think about it for a
minute( 'o" could there be such a ,eing9 'e amounts to "hat could be described as
n C%il $od( ,ut, a $od nonetheless( /or, as 'e is ascribed $od-like po"ers o%er
mankind, "e ha%e created in our o"n minds TW+ $ods( nd, "ouldn.t that defeat the
"hole concept of only +ne $od9
What is the e%idence for the e#istence of a 1atan-like $od9 Well, frankly, if one
e#amines The ,ible closely, there *ust isn.t one( /or e#ample, in $enesis-,ook 1,
7hapter 1, Serse 1, @ine 1, The ,ible says, )n the beginning $od created hea%en and
earth(! 6eriod(( )n other "ords, $od created and creates CSC>8thing( 6eriod( 'C is
responsible for all of creation( )t goes on to say 'e created the beasts of the earth and the
fo"l of the air, and the fish of the sea, and trees and plants and "ater, and angels, and,
"ell, *ust e%erything( ,ut, it doesn.t say 'e created another $od( )n fact, in many, many
places throughout The ,ible it says that there is only +NC $od(
No", those "ho "ish to ha%e an lter-ego $od to abstain Thee $od from
responsibility for bad things "ill point out that in the Ten 7ommandments, in the %ery
first one $od says, Thou shalt ha%e no other $ods before me(! That seems to imply
there are, or could be, other gods( ,ut, that.s a misinterpretation( No"here does it say
$+D created other gods( What $od is communicating here is that WC shouldn.t create
any other gods, such as a $olden 7alf, or stone Lontiki idols, or ,aal, or a 1atan!4in
our minds, and "orship these false gods of our in%ention( nd yet, that is e#actly "hat
"e.%e done "hen "e created a 1atan out of our imagination( )t.s not that "e "ant
another $od( )t.s *ust that "e can.t bring oursel%es to see our +NC 6erfect $od as being
responsible for creating bad things(
Then there are those "ho "ould point to the e#change bet"een ?esus and 6eter
"hen 6eter tries to talk ?esus out of fulfilling his destiny as The 5essiah by gi%ing
himself o%er to the >omans and dying on the cross( ?esus responds by saying, $et thee
behind me, 1atan(! No", is that proof that a 1atan! e#ists9 sk yourself, "as ?esus
implying that 6eter "as really 1atan in human disguise9 ) don.t think so, and neither, )
suspect, do you( 6eter certainly didn.t display any $od-like po"ers( )n fact, didn.t he
sho" himself to be all too human, "ith human doubts, fears and "eaknesses9
Well, then, one might argue, "asn.t he implying that a 1atan! had lured 6eter
a"ay from $od and filled him "ith doubt and fear, so ?esus "as addressing this demonic
,eing to e#tricate 'imself from possessing 6eter9 gain, ) think that this is a stretch(
7ould it be that ?esus "as only referring to 6eter as 1atan! to raise his perception that he
"as acting un-faithfully9 Wasn.t he using a metaphor as a sort of shorthand to get 6eter
to see that he "as acting e%illy!9
No( No matter "hat e#planation one searches for to create a de%il in one.s
uni%erse, one cannot get past the fact that e%en if there "as a 1atan!, $od "ould ha%e
had to ha%e created him in the first place, because $od created e%erything0 1o,
ultimately, $od )1 responsible for the e%il, as "ell as the good in life(
1o, "hether you choose to see $od as the 7reator of e%il!, or the 7reator of
another $od to create e%il4$od is ultimately responsible for the creation of e%il( 6eriod(
1o, this then raises the -uestion of "hy "ould $od ha%e created e%il in the first
place9 The ans"er lies in our understanding of our "orld( +ur "orld is a relati%e!
"orld of e#perience(
\t this point, ) "ould like to make a distinction in terms bet"een planet! and
"orld!( +ur planet is that hard, round dirt ball floating in space, and the reference to it
is e%erything and e%erybody stuck to that planet by gra%ity( ,ut, our "orld! is only a
perception of the community in our minds( When but a baby, our parents and their home
is our entire "orld!( s "e gro" and matriculate, our "orld! e#pands, and hopefully,
e%entually, "e come to see all of mankind as our "orld!( ,y "ay of e#planation, prior
to current times, a half-century ago, ,lacks did not e#ist! in the "orld! of some
merican White men, "hen, in fact, they did e#ist on the planet!(]
1o, our "orld!, as "e ha%e come to kno" it, is a relati%e! place( What does
that mean9 )t means that one cannot kno" "armth "ithout the e#istence of cold( )f
e%erybody "as e#actly the same height, the concepts of short and tall couldn.t e#ist in
our understanding( )f half the people on the planet "ere J.-11!, and the other half "ere
K.-0!, then "e "ould ha%e a standard of comparison, and K foot tall "ould, indeed, be
tall, and the other half "ould be short!(
7ommensurately, ho" could "e kno" good! if there "as no e%il!9 'o" could
"e kno" cure, if there "as no disease9 'o" could "e kno" and e#perience "hat lo%e
is, if there "as no fear9
No", since $od is ll @o%e, "hy "ould ll @o%e create the concept of e%il and
disease and fear9 )sn.t the ans"er ob%ious9 1o4that4@o%e47ould47on-uer4ll(
)n other "ords, $od desired to express 'is @o%e for all of 'is creation, so 'e had to ha%e
a "ay and a reason to sho" that e#pression( )f $od creates cancer, it is only for the
purpose of ')1 o%ercoming the cancer for his human being creation "ith a miracle in
ans"er to a faithful prayer and as an e#pression of 'is absolute lo%e for 'is creation( 1o,
the creation of e%il! "as @o%e-moti%ated0
,:T, you might argue, $od doesn.t cure all cancers in all people, so ho" is that
an e#pression of @o%e!9 To understand the ans"er to that -uestion, "e ha%e to re%ie",
once again, ho" $od "orks 'is miracles(
@et.s start from the premise that $od lo%es all of 'is human beings e-ually( $od
"ouldn.t discriminate, "ould 'e9 That "ould ha%e to be a denial of 'is @@-lo%ing
nature( 1o, "ouldn.t $od ha%e to ha%e set up a non-discriminating system! for curing
cancer9 /ortunately, depending upon your %ie" of your "orld!, 'e did( 'e created
freedom of choice!( human being can choose to be cured of cancer4miraculously4
nor not( human being has the freedom of choice! to believe that $od "ill pro%ide a
miracle cure for his cancer4or not( human being can choose to belie%e in $od, or in
modern medicine( )t.s a free choice(
1o, *ust "hat is this freedom of choice! "e all presumably ha%e9 )t is the
freedom to belie%e in $od, or not( 6eriod( Those "ho turn to modern medicine to cure
their ills are choosing N+T to belie%e in a miracle cure0 5iracle cures are *ust too
"onderful to belie%e in4in our relati%e "orld!, aren.t they9 ,:T, one can believe in
the po"er of medicines and doctors and recei%e a miracle cure! from that -uarter, as
"ell, because $od gi%es us "hat "e -!'&!1! in0
1o, if you don.t chose to believe in miracles, then ) guess you can.t ha%e any(
nd, that "as your freedom of choice!( @@ freedoms of choice! come do"n to one
thing, and one thing only -- the /reedom to belie%e in $od4or to N+T belie%e in $od(
,ecause, to choose to belie%e in $od means choosing @+SC0 <$od is @@ @o%e,
remember9=
Take a moment and think about the choices you ha%e made in your life( 'a%e
they all been lo%ing! choices9 )f not, did the de%il! possess you9 +r, "as it simply
your fears that con-uered you9 nd, then, "ere your actions borne out of fear!, rather
than our of lo%e!9 $od had to gi%e us this freedom of choice! to be free to choose
either lo%e! or fear! to operate from, or else ho" could 'e ha%e a %enue to e#press 'is
@o%e9
Well, you say, ho" is that an e#pression of 'is lo%e if he "ould create a "orld!
in "hich some people could fail to get a miracle90 )sn.t that discriminatory!90
nd, ) "ould argue, not if you understood the big picture( ) think it "as
deliciously depicted in the mo%ie -ruce Almihty( )n the mo%ie, ,ruce has $od.s
po"ers4and "ith them go $od.s responsibility to help all of mankind ans"er their
miracle re-uests( No", ,ruce is inundated "ith thousands of re-uests all day long4and
those *ust from his immediate neighborhood(
Think about that for a moment( There are K billion or so people on the planet( ll
of them are ha%ing troubles! <or, at least, "hat they percei%e as troubles= all day long,
e%ery day( Cyiyiyiyi( nd, %irtually all of them are turning to $od in prayer asking for
assistance in curing their troubles!( That "ould really keep $od busy( )t certainly
o%er"helms ,ruce( 1o, "hat $od did "as, 'e created a system by "hich all people can
in%oke their +WN miracle cure-alls( 'e set up a system on automatic pilot, if you "ill,
"hereby all people can get all the miracles they "ant4*ust by simply -!'&!1&)G that
they "ill( )n other "ords, all people get e%erything they belie%e in all day long, e%ery
day( This makes A'' -!'&!FS a miracle(
1imply put, "hat you belie%e is "hat you get, and that, by definition, &S a
miracle0000 1o, $od ans"ers all miracle re-uests, all the time, ,1CD upon +:>
freedom of choice!0 We either choose to believe $od "ill cure our cancer and get the
miracle of that4or "e can choose to belie%e that $od won,t cure our cancer, and get the
miracle! of that0 $od gi%es us nothing but miracles4all day long( Then, it.s up to us to
define the miracle "e choose to get(
>ecently, a friend of mine in the Na%al >eser%e sent me an e-mail in%itation to
attend a fund-raiser for her young <GH yr old= sister "ho "as dying of incurable cancer!(
The medical costs *ust to treat her, "ithout any hope of success, "ere astronomical( )
accepted the in%itation, but asked if ) could meet "ith her sister one-on-one( They both
agreed(
We sat across a small table, alone, and stared into each other.s eyes( ) asked her,
Do you belie%e in $od9! 1he looked me s-uare in the eye and said, 8es( ) do(! Then )
asked her if she belie%ed in miracles, and she ans"ered 8es! again( Then ) asked her if
she belie%ed $od could cure her cancer, and again she said, 8es!(
Then ) put the scre"s to her, to plumb the depth of her faith( Do you belie%e that
$od "ill4actually, has already4cured your cancer9! 'er eyes dropped to the tabletop,
and her 8es! had far less con%iction( 1o, ) asked her that same -uestion again( nd,
again, ) got the same reaction( 1o, ) asked, Debbie, "hy do you keep breaking eye
contact "ith me "hen you ans"er that -uestion9! )t "as ob%ious to me that she "as
afraid to state une-ui%ocally that she knew $od had already ans"ered her miracle prayer
re-uest, because she had actually come to believe her doctor.s prognosis that she "as
absolutely going to die( 'e had only gi%en her a month more to li%e( 'ad she continued
in that belief, ) ha%e no doubt that she "ould really die by 7hristmas, the pro*ected death
date(
) e#plained to her the process of miracle-getting( ) e#plained ho" "e get e#actly
"hat "e believe "e "ill get( ) e#plained to her that ) could not in%oke a cure for her( +f
course, ) could pray for her, but she, like all of us, ha%e our o"n special one-on-one
relationship "ith $od, and under 'is automatic-pilot-freedom-of-choice-you-get-"hat-
you-belie%e system is bet"een $od and each of us, indi%idually( 1o, it "as imperative
that she belie%e that $od had already sent his cancer-curing miracle to her( ) couldn.t do
that for her( ) could only help by raising her perception of "hat it takes to get a miracle,
and pray along "ith her to strengthen that faith( ) asked her to look me in the eye, and
tell me she actually really belie%ed that $od had already sent his miracle cure to her( 1he
did(
re you surprised that G "eeks later the cancer had completely disappeared from
her body9 nd, that upon disco%ering that fact, her doctor e#claimed, )t.s a M&0AC'!0!
) "asn.t(
) hope you aren.t(
:& Seeing Believing@
)t.s been said so many times -- 1eeing is belie%ing!, but, of course, that.s
back"ard thinking of the sort so common on 6lanet Carth(
What that implies is, you can.t belie%e it unless you see it( 1eeing it is proof
positi%e!( 1eeing doesn.t re-uire any faith at all( )f you can see it, then it must be true,
right9
)f that concept is "rong to the point of being harmful to mankind, is it because it
interferes "ith man.s relationship "ith $od9 Then, "hat "ould be true9
'o" about ,elie%ing is seeing!4maybe for the first time( >C@@8 seeing4
clearly0 )f one believes /)>1T4before seein!4then maybe one can see "hat one
"ants to see appear before their %ery eyes -- a miracle( miracle cure, or a miracle
solution, or a miracle assistance "ith a particular problem "ill materiali&e "hen you first
,C@)CSC( Then, and +N@8 then, "ill you see it(
The 1lti#ate =5o,e?
,ut, "hat about death9 We all lose lo%ed ones( nd, unfortunately, "e lose them
;before their time.( +r, so "e think( )f someone "e lo%e dies, ha%e "e failed them
because "e didn.t find the faith! to keep them ali%e9
That.s *ust do"nright silly( We are not pure $od!( We are $od in human form,
"ith all of the attendant limitations that implies( We are born human beings, and learn to
fear on this planet( )t is, unfortunately, a condition of Who We re in our human-ness(
What kind of a terrible system is that, "e might ask9 ) don.t kno" ho" you percei%e it,
but ).ll share my perception(
$oing back to the ?udeo-7hristian ;+ld Testament., once again, ) direct your
attention to the first line of $enesis, the /irst ,ook of 5oses, first chapter, )n the
beginning $od created the hea%ens and the earth!(
) only see t"o created places there( Not three( ) don.t see $od creating a hell!,
or a purgatory!, or any other place( 1o, to me, if "e are not in one place, "e must be in
the other, by definition( re there references to 'ades! or 'ell! in The ,ible9 8es, )
see them( ,ut, not as another created! place( Then, "here are they9 Well, to me, if
there is a reference to 'ell!, it must refer to one of the only t"o created! places( nd,
).m pretty sure it isn.t in the hea%ens! "here $od abides(
7ould earth be 'ell!9 Well, ), personally, don.t think there is such a place, since
) don.t see "here $od supposedly created! it( ,ut, ) do belie%e that "e can make a
li%ing hell for oursel%es( ) think that, from my e#perience, li%ing "ithout faith can be a
li%ing hell!(
), liked most of you, and all of you e%entually, ha%e lost lo%ed ones to death!(
nd, to be sure, the pain of losing them is3"as crushing at the time( ,ut, o%er time, as )
healed, ) reali&ed that they "ere in the other created place((( because there is no other
created! place for them to go( ) am comforted "ith the thought that they are beyond
earthly pain and suffering, and are in the bosom of $od, once again, from "hence they
came( nd, since, ) too, "ill be going back there one day, ) am further comforted that our
separation is *ust temporary( No", as part of $od, they are ll @o%ing, as ) "ill be "hen
) mo%e o%er to the other side of the shade(
+h, please understand, ) am in no hurry to make that transition( ,ut, neither do )
fear! it( ) kno" that life is e%erlasting( s an aside, Cinstein proved that "ith his theory
of relati%ity( 'e pro%ed, scientifically, that energy can be neither created, nor destroyed(
ll of the energy that is e#istent in the "orld right no" has been here from the beginning
of time, and "ill be here until the end of time( nd, "e and our lo%ed ones, are energy, if
"e are nothing else0
), personally, belie%e "hat $od says in $od.s books, Conversations With God!,
that "e can, and do, return to earth, life-after-life( nd, ) need hardly remind you by no"
that -- "hat & believe -- is so(
nd, if that is so, ) ha%e this "eird thought about the redneck hanging a ,lack
from a tree, and that ,lack is the redneck.s former lo%e reincarnated( )t gi%es me chills
about the inhumanity "e do to our fello" human beings( 5aybe, if "e all reali&ed that
"as possible, "e might be a little more tolerant of our fello" human beings(
Chapter 1-
TEST:$ON:*5S
* Can%er Cure
s my 7hristmas gift to all of you special people "ho are my friends, customers
and fello" pet lo%ers, ) am %ery proud to introduce a %ery special man "ho is my most
treasured mentor and a true lifetime friend(

)n the autumn of 1DD1 ) "as a territory sales counselor for a ma*or pet food and
supply distributor in Wisconsin( )n my on-going life effort of self impro%ement, ) decided
that ) "ould impro%e upon my sales and customer ser%ice skills by taking a college le%el
sales course( When ) signed up for that class ) ne%er kne" "hat a life changing
e#perience ) "as in for(

,ill Tucker "as the teacher of that class( 'ere before me "as someone "ho
"ould make a %ery profound difference both in my approach to selling and my outlook
on life( ) absorbed ,ill.s communication philosophyB the 1ocratic 5ethod, and made it
my o"n tool( s time "ent on, "e became friends, and this ama&ing person un%eiled to
me a uni-ue, yet so correct outlook on life( 'e shared stories of his roller coaster life "ith
ma*or trials and miraculous e#periences, and sho"ed me "here to look in the Ne"
Testament to ask $od to perform 'is miracles in my life( 'e totally ble" me a"ay "hen
he asked me to co%er his class the follo"ing semester "hile he "as performing his Na%al
>eser%e Duty in 1icily, but ) rose to the occasion( That e#perience further ingrained his
1ocratic method of sales and communication in me(
,ill and ) had become %ery good friends and ) felt a deep sense of loss "hen my
family mo%ed to 7olorado 1prings( We kept in touch, but as life goes, "e slo"ly drifted
a"ay from regular communications(

)n ?anuary of 200E my "onderful daughter, 5addie, "as diagnosed "ith a %ery
deadly form of cancer( )t "as de%astating for all of us( 'er illness "as un-uestionably the
most fearful and painful e#perience in my life( +n 5addie.s 1Fth birthday, "e "ent out
for dinner "ith her best friends( 1he "as feeling %ery sick from chemotherapy, but being
the %ery determined and tough-minded young lady that she is, she refused to be denied
her special night out( The celebration ended abruptly "hen she suffered a ma*or sei&ure
and partial stroke right there in the restaurant( ) spent most of that night in 5addie.s
intensi%e care room at her side(

When ) kne" she "as stable and ) could do no more, ) "ent home to try to get a
little sleep( ,ecause ) suffer from sleep apnea, ) could not allo" myself to fall asleep in
her room for fear ) "ould "ake up gasping for air, and disrupt her rest( ) dro%e home,
crying my eyes out, feeling totally defeated, o%ertaken by total fear, panic and hysteria( )t
*ust hurt so terribly( This *ust couldn.t be happening to my s"eet, ama&ing young
daughter "ho took all of her friends under her protecti%e "ing and dealt "ith their
problems e%en "hen she "as sick( $od *ust had to see her through this(
When ) got home ) called my friend ,ill and ) asked him to again tell me about
the %erse in The ,ible that talked about asking and recei%ing miracles( ) had ne%er tried
this method before because ) al"ays thought it "ould be terribly "rong to ask for a
miracle for selfish and un-important reasons( When ) hung up "ith ,ill, ) fell do"n on
my knees and ) begged $od to sa%e my child, using the method as described in the
$ospel( ) cried and ) prayed alternately for hours( s ) felt that 'e "ould be the only one
"ho could sa%e her, ) left it all up to $od(

5addie started impro%ing after a couple of days in intensi%e care(

During 5addie.s t"o year treatment, ) pretty much "ithdre" from contact "ith
all my friends( 5ean"hile, my inspiring and ama&ing friend ,ill, "as back in Wisconsin,
teaching others ho" to ask $od for miracles in the correct "ay(

>ecently, ) "as e#plaining the basics of the 1ocratic 5ethod to a friend, and it hit
me like a brick on the forehead that it had been "ay too long since ).d been in touch "ith
,ill( ) looked him up and during our long con%ersation he told me all about "hat he had
been doing( 'is book, !5iracles 5ade 6ossible! had been published in 200E( @ast year
he made his first mo%ie, 1omething for 1te%ie! B the story of a challenged young
fello".s struggles "ith life and lo%e( ,oth of his "orks are %ery special( They are
remarkable in their inspired messages of encouragement and enlightenment, and "ill %ery
likely change your outlook on life and your relationship "ith $od(
s my 'oliday present to all of you, ) am sharing this %ery special man and his
%ery special "orks( 8ou can purchase autographed copies of both 5iracles 5ade
6ossible!, and 1omething for 1te%ie! at Natural 6et 5arket( C%en more e#citing, ) am
looking for"ard to hosting my friend, ,ill and his "orks at my store and other special
%enues in our region in early spring( 8ou don.t "ant to miss the opportunity of
e#periencing this e#traordinary man and his di%inely inspired messages( ) strongly
recommend that you purchase 5iracles 5ade 6ossible!( >ead it, learn it, reference it
and teach the message to others( )t "ill be a reading that you "ill return to o%er and o%er
again( ) am sure that you, like me, "ill find yourself "anting to share 5iracles! "ith all
"ho you care about(
) kno" first hand that to learn from ,ill Tucker is to understand $od in a
refreshed and positi%ely enhanced "ay(

5erry 7hristmas 200F, 'appy 200H Ne" 8ear, 1hare the @o%e and 6ay it for"ard(
5ay $od ,less 8ou, all of your family and all "ho you hold dear(
bo%e all4 ne%er hesitate to ask $od for miracles in your life4 'e is listening(
5ike 7a%anaugh,
6roprietor and 6et Nutrition 7ounselor
Natural 6et 5arket
$. Greate&t $ira%le
8ai&ing the 3ead
?ust recently, my best friend from my college days, Tony, a la"yer and de%out
7atholic, for "hom ) "as his campaign manager "hen he ran for ?udge and "on, came to
me "ith a problem( ) "as gi%ing a talk at ,orders bookstore in $reendale on my book
Miracles Made Possible!( bout J0 people had sho"n up, and ) "as surprised to
see Tony and his "ife ?anet in the front ro"( t the conclusion of my talk, the people
lined up to buy my book and ha%e it autographed( ?anet stood before me "ith tears
streaming do"n her face( What.s the problem, ?anet9! ) asked( )t seems Tony and
?anetOs daughter had a baby a year and a half before( The baby got an e-7oli infection that
threatened her life(
The baby girl had slipped into a coma at 7hildren.s 'ospital, and Tony and ?anet
"ere beside themsel%es "ith "orry( ?anet said, ,ill, "e need a big miracle0! ) ga%e
them a copy of my book, and another copy for their daughter( ) said, >ead this
immediately, and call me if you ha%e any -uestions(!
Tony and ?anet did, indeed, read my book, but it conflicted "ith some of the
things their 7atholic religion had taught them( 1o, Tony called me "ith -uestions( )
e#plained that they had to stop "orrying, and -!'&!1! that $od had already cured their
baby $randdaughter( They could best demonstrate this to $od by simply saying a 6rayer
of Thanksgi%ing, as in, Thank you, /ather, for already ha%ing cured our $randdaughter
1ydney(!
couple of days later, Tony called, angry, to report that little 1ydney had, indeed,
"oken from he coma, but she "as a %egetable( 7ouldn.t sit up, couldn.t feed herself,
couldn.t "alk or talk( /urther, she didn.t recogni&e anyone( Tony "as furious( What
good "as that miracle90! Tony shouted at me, 1he.s as good as dead0!
Tony,! ) said, 7alm do"n0 8ou *ust need another miracle(! ) e#plained that he
had to go back to $od and thank him for further curing his $randdaughter( 'e did *ust
that, and the little girl slipped back into a coma(
No", Tony phoned me back , beside himself( What the hell is $od D+)N$90!
he screamed at me( 1he.s back in a coma0!
Tony, Tony, "here is your /)T'90! ) tempted him( 8ou must LCC6 your
faith0! ) admonished him( ?ust go back to $od and thank him for curing your little baby(!
'e calmed do"n, and did as instructed( 1ure enough, 1ydney a"oke from her
coma, but then died0 Thirty minutes later, the doctors pronounced her dead(
No" out of his mind, Tony called me back screaming and ba"ling, 8ou son of a
bitch0 1he.s DCD0 $od killed my precious baby $randdaughter0!
) simply responded, No, she.s not( 1he.s *ust asleep( Leep the faith and she "ill
a"ake,! ) said( 'e "as stunned into silence( ) could almost hear the struggle going on in
his mind A to belie%e ,ill, or to belie%e his eyes and ears( /inally, he ga%e in and said,
+kay, ,ill, ) ,C@)CSC she.s still ali%e( ) ha%e no other choice other than to let her be
dead(!
Ten minutes later, little 1ydney a"oke( 5oreo%er, she "as returned to her family
%irtually as she "as before she caught the infection( 1he could "alk and talk and
recogni&ed e%erybody( 1he could feed herself( 'er doctors "ere stunned( They had no
e#planation(
Tony and ?anet "ere beside themsel%es "ith *oy( ,ut, Tony had a -uestion( Why
had $od put them through so much to finally cure little 1ydney9 Does $od test us4test
our faith9! he asked me(
bsolutely N+T0! ) responded( To understand "hat "ent on here, you ha%e to
understand the purpose of $od2
1( $od is all lo%e( 'e ne%er let.s us do"n(
2( $od does not ans"er all prayers, but 'e does ans"er all ,C@)C/1(
G( Whene%er there appears to be breakdo"n in communication bet"een man and
$od, man al"ays "ants to blame $od <for letting man do"n=( ,ut, understand
that man is fallible, and $od is )nfallible( 1o, "ho do you think dropped the ball9
E( $od promises, C%en before you ask, ) "ill ha%e ans"ered(!
J( $od NCSC> says, No!( That.s *ust man.s feeble attempt to e#plain "hy they
don.t recei%e their miracle( ,ut, a closer reading of the religious te#ts of the
"orld re%eals that $od is a $od of lo%e, and lo%e ne%er says no(
) suggested to Tony that the trials and tribulations that little 1ydney endured "as only
because Tony, himself, had "a%ered in his ,C@)C/( 'e had belie%ed that 1ydney "ould
come out of her coma, but he "ondered in his heart if she "ould be okay4so, ob%iously,
she couldn.t be okay0 'e had needed se%eral miracles because he had failed to hold to
his ,C@)C/ that she "ould be her old self again( +nce he had gotten straight on that,
$od had no choice but to return little 1ydney to full health(
) asked Tony to "rite me a @etter of Testimony, that ) could share "ith others(
'ere it is2
A Letter of Testimonial for William Tuckers book, Miracles Made
Possible
By Tony & Janet Machi
JANET: We have known Bill Tucker for 36 years, ever since our college days
together. When we read in the newspaper that he had written a ook on how
to create !iracles in one"s own life, we deter!ined to attend his speaking
engage!ent at a local ookstore, as we were interested in finding the key to
ring !iracles in our life.
We oth have a strong and aiding faith in #od, and elieved in $is aility to
provide !iracles, ut were unsure of how to receive the one we sought. We
ca!e away fro! Bill"s presentation with renewed faith and hope. We ought
two copies of his ook %% one for our children and one for us.
TN!: &n March '(, '))(, the phone rang at 3*3) a!. +t was, of course,
trouling news. &ur thirteen%!onth%old granddaughter was in the ,- at
Milwaukee .hildren"s $ospital. +t see!s she had contracted an ecoli
syste!ic infection. /s little 0ydney"s illness progressed, the doctors were of
little co!fort. +t see!ed as if there wasn"t !uch they could do. + reached out
to Bill. $e went over the principles of his 1!iracle for!ula2 with !e, and gave
!e hope and encourage!ent that #od would save our ay
#randdaughter"s life. The infection caused her kidneys to fail, and that led to
cardiac failure. $er heart stopped and she was technically dead. We went to
#od using Bill"s 1for!ula of faith2, and .3- was perfor!ed for thirty%five
!inutes, and she regained her life. But, the doctors cautioned that she
proaly had suffered rain da!age due to the e4tensive lack of o4ygen to
her rain. 0he was in a co!a. 0he was then placed on a heart%lung !achine,
kidney dialysis and a feeding tue. They were concerned that she !ay never
recover, co!e out of her co!a, and could even die, again, in that state. They
said that if she did awake, she could e so rain%da!aged that she would e
like a vegetale, unale to walk or speak, or recogni5e any of us. + called Bill
e4pressing !y desperation and fears.
$e called ack in a very upeat tone reiterating his 1for!ula2 for receiving
any !iracle we want and need fro! #od, and e4pressing asolute faith that
0ydney would not only co!e out of her co!a, ut also e4perience a full
recovery. $is words gave !e renewed strength in !y own faith. Bill also
advised to stop asking for the !iracle, have faith that it has already een
granted 6part of his 1!iracle for!ula7 and will co!e in ti!e.
0ydney revitali5ed and did co!e out of her co!a after that, ut was unale to
feed herself and see!ed not to recogni5e any of us, her loving fa!ily. 0he
was still with us, ut her progress was slow. /gain we contacted Bill, and he
assured us that 0ydney"s !iracle cure had already een sent y #od, and all
we had to do to see it !ateriali5e was to 1keep the faith2 and B,8+,9, in
#od"s !iraculous aility to return her to us unhar!ed. Janet and +
reco!!itted ourselves to this proposition. Then, she ca!e out of her co!a,
and died:
/gain, + contacted Bill with !y fears for 0ydney"s future. Bill ;ust laughed and
asked, 1What aout #od do you think has changed<:2 That gave !e renewed
hope, once again.
Ten days later, + wrote ack to Bill, 1+ have to ring you up to date. 0ydney is
now off all e=uip!ent e4cept for a feeding tue. That will e gone soon, when
she starts using her sippy%cup !ore and !ore. 0he s!iles when she
recogni5es the song you sing or that she likes what you do with her. 0he
looks around and has started to reach for toys.
/rchishop >olan ca!e to hospital to visit her today. $e had lessed our
daughter, 0ydney"s !other Jillian, when she was pregnant. $e is truly a !an
of the cloth. $er 3hysical Therapy people are a!a5ed at the speed of her
progress. &ur hope is she will e ho!e for Mother?s >ay.2
0he did not !ake it ho!e for Mother"s >ay, ut she did !ake it ho!e for
#randpa"s irthday, /pril '6. @our weeks after going into the hospital, 0ydney
went ho!e.
Aow encouraged y 0ydney"s rapid recovery progress, we kept the faith and
watched as she egan to feed herself, recogni5e her parents and us, and
start to pick up where she had left off learning to talk and walk.
0he is ho!e now, and is returning to the viale little girl she was efore she
was stricken. >oing nearly all of the things you"d e4pect of a one%and%a%half
year old.
We kept our faith and have een truly lessed. We thought we were looking
for one !iracle, ut, as it turns out, we e4perienced a series of !iracles that
rought our precious ay girl ack to us. ,veryday we have another !iracle.
0aying a new word. Today reaching out with her left ar! to pick up a cracker
on her highchair tray.
We thank and praise #od for his lessings. /nd, we thank Bill Tucker for his
wonderful ook that helped us to understand how to get !iracles when you
need the! !ost.
Tony & Janet Machi
) suspect, though, that after some time has elapsed, Tony and his "ife and
daughter "ill forget the role ) played( 1ie la %ie0 $od doesn.t need any credit lines!,
and neither do )0
Chapter 1-
8e#inder& for Getting $ira%le&
!or /our 8efrigerator
5any people magnet things to their refrigerator(((especially those "ith small
children( )t acts as a surrogate bulletin board(
The concepts shared in this book are not unknown to %irtually all people on this
planet( They *ust are li%ing in fear, and maybe do not see the miracles that happen in
their li%es e%ery day( nd, possibly they do not ha%e e#perience proacti%ely making!
specific miracles happen on demand!( ) think that $od has only one *ob( That *ob is to
demonstrate $od.s continuous lo%e for us, and $od stands at the ready to perform all
sorts of miracles for us 2E hours a day, F days a "eek( $od is e%er %igilant( ).m sure
$od feels that "e do not turn to $od often enough(
5aybe "e "ould be more conscious of our need for a correct relationship "ith
$od if "e pinned reminders to our bulletin boards or refrigerators "here "e could see
them regularly( +n the follo"ing pages are a fe" suggestions of things ) ha%e
accumulated that you might "ant to stick to your refrigerator( ) ha%e, and ) find them
%ery helpful at staying on track "ith $od, our /ather(
Bro+en 3rea#&
*& %hildren bring their bro+en to.&
With tear& for u& to #end.
: brought #. bro+en drea#& to God
Be%au&e God wa& #. friend.
But in&tead of lea,ing God
:n pea%e to wor+ alone,
: hung around and tried to help
With wa.& whi%h were #. own.
*t la&t, : &nat%hed the# ba%+ and %ried,
=(ow %an /ou be &o &low@?
=$. %hild,? God &aid, =What %ould : do@
/ou ne,er let the# go@?
The 16 Co##and#ent& of !aith
1. Thou &halt not worr., for worr. i& the #o&t unprodu%ti,e of all
hu#an a%ti,itie&.
2. Thou &halt not be fearful, for #o&t of the thing& we fear ne,er %o#e to
pa&&.
. Thou &halt not %arr. grudge&, for the. are the hea,ie&t of all lifeG&
burden&.
". Thou &halt fa%e ea%h proble# a& it %o#e&. Thou %an onl. handle one
at a ti#e an.wa..
'. Thou &halt not ta+e proble#& to bed with thee, for the. #a+e ,er.
poor bedfellow&.
). Thou &halt not borrow other peopleG& proble#&. The. %an better %are
for the# than thee.
-. Thou &halt not tr. to reli,e .e&terda. for good or ill, it i& fore,er gone.
Con%entrate on what i& happening in thine life and be happ. now<
0. Thou &halt be a good li&tener, for onl. when thee li&ten do thee hear
idea& different fro# thine own.
4. Thou &halt not be%o#e Hbogged downH b. fru&tration, for 46I of it i&
rooted in &elf2pit., and will onl. interfere with po&iti,e a%tion.
16. Thou &halt %ount thine ble&&ing&, ne,er o,erloo+ing the &#all one&,
for a lot of &#all ble&&ing& add up to a big one.
God>& 5etter
3ear, 3ear Son and 3aughter,
Know that : a# God. Toda., : will be handling all of .our
proble#&. 7lea&e re#e#ber that : do not need .our help. :f life
happen& to deli,er a &ituation to .ou that .ou %annot handle, do not
atte#pt to re&ol,e it. Kindl. put it in the S!GT3 J&o#ething for God to
doK boB. :t will be addre&&ed in $. ti#e.
On%e the #atter i& pla%ed into the boB, do not hold on to it, or
re#o,e it. (olding on or re#o,al will dela. the re&olution of .our
proble#. :f it i& a &ituation that .ou thin+ .ou are %apable of handling,
plea&e %on&ult $e in pra.er to be &ure that it i& the proper re&olution.
Be%au&e : do not &leep, nor do : &lu#ber, there i& no need for .ou
to lo&e an. &leep.
8e&t, $. %hild.
5o,e, /our !ather
7.S. :f .ou need to %onta%t $e, : a# onl. a pra.er awa..
3o :t *n.wa.
L Cop.right Kent $. Keith 14)0, renewed 2661
7eople are often unrea&onable, illogi%al, and &elf2%enteredM
!orgi,e the# an.wa..
:f .ou are +ind, 7eople #a. a%%u&e .ou of &elfi&h, ulterior #oti,e&M
Be +ind an.wa..
:f .ou are &u%%e&&ful, .ou will win &o#e fal&e friend& and &o#e true
ene#ie&M Su%%eed an.wa..
:f .ou are hone&t and fran+, people #a. %heat .ouM
Be hone&t and fran+ an.wa..
What .ou &pend .ear& building, &o#ething &o#eone %ould de&tro.
o,ernightM Build an.wa..
:f .ou find &erenit. and happine&&, the. #a. be Nealou&M
Be happ. an.wa..
The good .ou do toda., people will often forget to#orrowM
3o good an.wa..
Gi,e the world the be&t .ou ha,e, and it #a. ne,er be enoughM
Gi,e the world the be&t .ouG,e got an.wa..
/ou &ee, in the final anal.&i&, it i& between .ou and GodM
:t wa& ne,er between .ou and the# an.wa..
5i,e fro# the in&ide out, not fro# the out&ide in.
$. God
$. God i& a God of lo,e.
$. God doe& not di&%ri#inate.
$. God doe& not Nudge.
$. God doe& not find fault with an. of God>& %reation&.
$. God doe& not puni&h.
$. God an&wer& all pra.er& with what the *&+2er BE5:E;ES the an&wer will be.
$. God %reated all thing& under hea,en and earth.
$. God %reated the =good? thing&.
$. God %reated the =bad? thing&.
$. God allow& God>& %hildren to eBperien%e whate,er their Will allow& the# to do. :f the.
do =good?, the. reap the good benefit&. :f the. do =bad?, the., li+ewi&e, reap what
the. &ow.
$. God allow& God>& %hildren the %hoi%e, and the re&ultant eBperien%e, without Nudg#ent.
$. God doe& not &ide with (ebrew& o,er Canaanite&, Cru&ader& o,er Otto#an&, *#eri%an&
o,er Ger#an&, Cowbo.& o,er :ndian&, Chri&tian& o,er Oew&, White& o,er Bla%+&, or
Bla%+& o,er White&, Oew& o,er Chri&tian&, :ndian& o,er Cowbo.&, Ger#an& o,er
*#eri%an&, Otto#an& o,er Cru&ader&, or Canaanite& o,er (ebrew&.
$. God &ide& with all of God>& %hildren who a&+ God for God>& lo,e and help and Belie,e
that God will gi,e it...freel....willingl....without re&er,ation Nu&t for the a&+ing...and
belie,ing.
$. God gi,e& all of God>& %hildren e,er.thing the. eBpe%tM whether the. eBpe%t =good?, in
faith, or =bad?, in !ear. God gi,e& the# what the. eBpe%t....what the. a&&u#e...
what the. belie,e.
$. God i& not a pa&&i,e God, neither doe& God abandon God>& %hildren.
$. God doe& not %reate a =Satan?M onl. allow& God>& #an+ind to %reate one in their own
#ind, to bla#e for their own foll..
$. God doe& not %reate a =(ell?, onl. allow& God>& #an+ind to li,e in one of their own
#a+ing, if the. &o %hoo&e...on thi& &ide of the &hade or the other.
$. God de#and& nothing of God>& %hildren, but God eBpe%t& =faith?.
$. God gi,e& all.
$. God doe& not +now the %on%ept of =hate? or =fear?.
$. God gi,e& all of God>& %hildren e,er2la&ting life.
$. God would not, will not, and doe& not depri,e an. of God>& %hildren of e,er2la&ting life,
no #atter what %hoi%e& the. #a+e on earth.
$. God i& eternal.
$. God #ade God>& %hildren eternal.
$. God eBperien%e& e,er.thing through God>& %hildren.
$. God i& the .in and the .ang, the *lpha and the O#ega, the 7erfe%tion and the
:#perfe%tion, The Beginning and The End.
$. God i& all.
$. God i& .our God.
$. God i& e,er.one>& God.
$. God i& lo,e.
/our God i& lo,e.
Our God i& lo,e.
God i& *55 there i&.
5o,e i& *55 there i&.
$. God i& real.
*ll the re&t i& =unreal?.
!I"#I"G G$#
%"o li&e on this earth &inds the real, deep springs o&
communion with 'he Almight(
until it has met adversit( and, )( that adversit(,
has )een &orced to a point that it is )roken,
utterl( helpless )e&ore God*+
(ow to Get a $ira%le
=5et go, and 5et God?
=,now that .our $ira%le
ha& alread. happened?
D!E8GE33*BO13:T>
=Gi,e it up to get it?
(OW TO 78*/
=!ather...*llow #e to li,e the life
/ou ha,e for #e...
=Our Will be done.?
Belie,ing :n *d,an%e P
KNOW:NG
?ust say,
=Than+ /ou.?
!OOTSTE7S
One night a #an had a drea#. (e drea#ed he wa&
wal+ing along the bea%h with the 5O83. *%ro&& the
&+. fla&hed &%ene& fro# hi& life. !or ea%h &%ene, he
noti%ed two &et& of footprint& in the &andM one belonged
to hi#, and the other belonged to the 5O83.
When the la&t &%ene of hi& life fla&hed before hi#, he
loo+ed ba%+ at the footprint& in the &and. (e noti%ed
that #an. ti#e& along the path of hi& life there wa& onl.
one &et of footprint&. (e al&o noti%ed that it happened at
the ,er. lowe&t and &adde&t ti#e& in hi& life.
Thi& reall. bothered hi# and he 9ue&tioned the 5O83
about it. H5O83, Thou &aid that on%e : de%ided to
follow Thee, Thou would&t wal+ with #e all the wa..
But : ha,e noti%ed that during the #o&t trouble&o#e
ti#e& in #. life, there i& onl. one &et of footprint&. :
donGt under&tand wh. when : needed Thee #o&t, Thou
would&t lea,e #e.H
The 5O83 replied, H$. pre%iou&, pre%iou& %hild, : lo,e
.ou and would ne,er lea,e .ou. 3uring .our ti#e& of
trial and &uffering, when .ou &ee onl. one &et of
footprint&, it wa& then that : %arried .ou.H
T(E BOQ
* #an died and went to hea,en. (e #et St. 7eter at the
Golden Gate. 1pon entering, St. 7eter handed hi# a boB.
The #an &aid to St. 7eter, H/ou +now, #. life on earth
wa& nothing but a %on&tant &truggle< : donGt under&tand wh.
God #ade life &o hard for #e.H
St. 7eter replied, HThen .ou wonGt want to loo+ into that
boB : Nu&t ga,e .ou.H
HWh. not@H the #an a&+ed.
HBe%au&e,H St. 7eter &aid, H:t will brea+ .our heart. /ou
&ee, in that boB are all of the #ira%le& fro# God that .ou %ould
ha,e had...had .ou but a&+ed.H
!E*8 NOT,
!O8 : *$ *5W*/S W:T( /O1.
=What .ou belie,eE
i& what .ou re%ei,e?
- William 'homas 'ucker
Epilogue
'he .iracle o& this Book
'o" does $od get our attention "hen "e aren.t listening9 s "e get caught up in
our daily li%es, and struggle "ith our problems, and fume and fret our "ay through our
daily e#istence((($od is there, "ith us, too( $od.s great heart aches to help us, but our
eyes are closed to $od, our ears are closed to $od( 'e wants to get our attention, but 'e
cannot speak to us directly because it takes our faith to in%ite $od in(
$od does talk to people( 1ome ha%e told me of this e#perience( $od talks to
Neale Donald Walsch, regularly( ) mentioned that $od only spoke to me, t"ice, and ).%e
related the first time in this book( ) "ill end this 7hapter "ith $od.s second
communication "ith me, but before ) do, "e need to e#plore "hat led up to this book
coming into being, for that is the greatest miracle ) could ha%e e%er hoped for(
,ack in the beginning of this book, as ) took you "ith me back do"n o%er the
road of my disco%ery of $od and $od.s miracles, "e started this *ourney "ith my angry
outburst at $od o%er ho" $od could ha%e allo"ed my lo%ely "ife to die on us!(
) railed out against $od, talking to $od %ery directly, %ery %ehemently(((but $od
never spoke back( 'e never uttered e%en one "ord( 8et, e%entually((() knew, someho",
that $od "as there(((listening(((sympathetically( nd, once ) opened the door, so to speak,
and let $od in, $od stepped up to the pro%erbial plate and demonstrated $od.s lo%e for
me(((so consistently and so profoundly, that ) had no choice but to o on ,elie%ing( Then,
as ) let $od into my life and my heart, the miracles kept coming, and coming( The e%ents
-- miracles -- ) ha%e related here in this book are only a representati%e sample of the
hundreds that ) and my co-earth-inhabitors ha%e e#perienced o%er the past 20 years of my
life that the story of this book spans(
) expect many, many more miracles yet in my life, and ) believe that they "ill
come to pass( ) am not, as of yet, a Na%al >eser%e 7aptain, but ) cannot not belie%e that
it "ill happen( This is one of my oldest! miracle re-uests going back E2 years( ) ha%e
always assumed it "ould happen( nd, it "ill(
+%er the years co%ered by this book, as these miracles "ere occurring in my life, )
promised myself that ) "ould, one day, "rite them do"n and share them "ith any "ho
"ould find comfort from this, the story of my phenomenal, unnatural, e#periences( )
assumed that, if the book and its message "ere "orthy, $od "ould find a "ay to ha%e the
book published( That you are reading it is the %erification that $od apparently "anted it
"ritten and published(
,ut, ) "ould like to relate ho" this publishing phenomenon came about, because
it e#plains "hat $od told me, %ocally, about this book(
The $ira%le of Sharing
/or the past se%eral years, nothing has gone ;right. for me( ) kept in%enting
fantastic soft"are programs that performed miraculously, but one problem or another
stopped them from being able to be marketed( 5@1 ended the >ealtor selling program(
When, many years later, computer technology caught up and eliminated our need to
do"nload the 5@1 database, as it e%entually did, "e "ere broke and couldn.t afford to
take ad%antage of that ne" technology to sa%e that product( )t sits on the shelf! today(
8ou.ll remember that "e con%erted our soft"are program to a computer
residential appraisal program to help ppraisers be more efficient( ,ut, they could not
use it, it turns out, "ithout the appro%al3acceptance of /reddie 5ac or /annie 5ae, the
federal go%ernment.s home loan insurers( +h, to be sure, they in%ited us in to
demonstrate and e#plain ho" our product "orked as efficiently and accurately as it does(
,ut, then, "hile promising to gi%e us the endorsement "e needed to sell our product,
they delayed( fter four years of "aiting, they finally confided that "hat they had been
doing for those ensuing years "as trying to copy our efforts and do it for themsel%es(
They finally admitted a fe" months ago that they had totally failed( They then made
o%ertures about doing business "ith us, but dragged those discussions out until they fell
apart( )t seems that they disco%ered that, once again, our homes "ere in foreclosure and
"e "ere flirting "ith bankruptcy again(((so they decided to "ait, again( +ne can only
surmise "hat they are "aiting for(
To say that all of these e%ol%ing e%ents "ere frustrating "ould be the
understatement of the century( ,ut, you kno" "hat9 We don.t care( We ha%e gi%en it
up(((to get it(((or not( +ur attitude is that, if these "onderful products are to be, then, it is
up to $od to see to it( )n the meantime, "e.re busying oursel%es "ith other things, and
not gi%ing a care in the "orld to that o%er "hich "e seem to ha%e no control( Neither do
my partners and ) condemn others for the turn of these e%ents( We stri%e to =ude not5
lest we be 3uded!(
That money is running out(((has run out(((is a daily issue( ) "ould be lying if )
didn.t admit that it has aggra%ated me, perple#ed me to the point that, at times, it felt as if
$od, $od.s 1elf, had abandoned me(((us( ,ut, ) kno" better than that(((don.t )90 ) ha%e
come to the conclusion that $od has been "ith me this entire *ourney, and that $od is
trying to speak to me, but ) am not listening( ) ha%e been, ashamedly, focused on my
o"n problems!, once again(
While all of these e%ents ha%e been happening, ) imagine $od "as up there in
hea%en pondering ho" 'e could get my attention( ) believe that $od had a role for me,
but that ) "asn.t paying attention( ) "as doing my o"n thing!(
No", "e.%e seen many e#amples of *ust ho" $od gets our attention "hen "e
aren.t paying attention( +ur efforts come to naught( 6roblems appear in our path( >eal
sho"- stoppers!( $od.s lo%e kno"s no bounds( 'e "ill bang on our heads until "e
hear! $od( 1ome of those bangs! can be pretty terrible, in human terms -- bankruptcy,
foreclosure, e%en drunken dri%ers, if necessary( >eal attention-getters! that help us
find the real, deep springs of communion "ith The lmighty by meeting ad%ersity and,
by that ad%ersity, being forced to a point that "e are broken, utterly helpless before $od(!
Then our choice is to, either, continue trying to take control of our li%es, or surrender to
the ad%ersity( When "e surrender and *ust gi%e up!, our hands are off the pro%erbial
steering "heel of our li%es, and $od can then step in "ith $od.s lo%e(
)f "e ha%e left a trail of self-destruction in our path on our *ourney home to The
/ather, ) think "e kno" "here the blame, if there is blame!, lies( ,ut, of course, there is
no blame!( @ife is life, and "e are all doing the %ery best "e can as "e "histle
oursel%es through the dark nights and the demons! our mind creates( ,ut, ) belie%e, that
$od will ha%e $od.s "ay "ith us( ) belie%e that 'e is relentless in 'is lo%e, and "ill
ne%er abandon us(((e%en if "e abandon $od0 $od "ill "ork arduously, constantly, to get
our attention(((and our faith(((until "e feel defeated, and turn to $od for $od.s lo%e(
,ecause, ) belie%e that lo%e! is all there is( @o%e is the only thing that matters( @o%e for
$od( @o%e for family( @o%e for friends( @o%e for all of our fello" mankind( )f "e are
on a *ourney! throughout this life, ) belie%e it is a *ourney to disco%er lo%e!( nd, for
that *ourney to be successful, "e must find $od(((for $od is @o%e(
Nothing else is important( Not history( Not country( Not financial "ealth or
accumulated things! that "e "ill lea%e behind "hen "e pass on( 7ertainly not the fear
and hatred "e may harbor against other fello" tra%elers through this %eil(
Then, something truly miraculous happened( When $od spoke! to me the
second time, it "as 10 years before 'e led me do"n the trail to its meaning( 1o, to make
sense of this miracle, it "ould be better to see ho" the e%ents unfolded that led up to this
book, and then re%eal $od.s message to me, so that "e can all see the profundity of it(
%Conversations With God+
) ha%e referred se%eral times throughout this book to another body of "ork,
entitled5 Conversations With God!, by the author Neale Donald Walsch( )f one "ants to
understand the 5ind of $od!, $od dictated these books to the author, and e#plains
$od.s 1elf in depth and detail in them( +f course, you, the human! reader "ill ha%e to
*udge! the %eracity of that statement for yourself( ,ut, as "ith all else, $od in%ites you
to come to $od and $od.s :nderstanding( )t is your free "ill! choice "hether or not
you care to educate yourself( +r(((you can *ust "ait until you find the real, deep springs
of communion "ith The lmighty by meeting ad%ersity and, by that ad%ersity, being
forced to a point that you are broken, utterly helpless before $od(! When that happens, )
suggest that reading those books "ill be of immense and lo%ing help to you(
1o, it came to pass one day that ) "as dri%ing do"n the street listening to a
National 6ublic >adio inter%ie" "ith this author, ne%er ha%ing had heard of him before(
The surprising thing to me "as, ) "as only tra%eling J blocks and ) ne%er turn my radio
on for such a short trip( ,ut, ) felt this o%er"helming compulsion! to turn on the radio,
so ) did so, unthinkingly( )n other "ords, it didn.t seem important to me as ) did so(
) "as immediately electrified by "hat ) "as hearing( 'ere "as a person "ho had
e#perienced "hat ) had e#perienced0 'ere "as a person as broken! as ) had been, and
"ho had turned to his ceiling "ith a similar message for the $reat :nseen( nother "ho
had railed out against his $od( nother "ho demanded ans"ers( nother to "hom $od
spoke0
To this author, $od directed him to go and get a tablet of paper and a pen to,
ostensibly, "rite do"n "hat $od "as about to dictate( To me, $od had only done this
once, and the message could fit on one piece of paper( message ) cherished, and
co%eted, and shared "ith no one(((until no", lest they think me mad( ) guess ) shouldn.t
ha%e "orried( ) ha%e since learned of $od speaking! to many, many others in the same
manner(
,ut, Neale Donald Walsch.s communication from $od "as different from any )
had e%er heard of before( $od talked, and talked, and talked to Neale((((daily0 $od
dictated first one book to him(((for publication(((promising that the intent of it "as to
pro%ide $od.s Word, $od.s ans"ers to the problems confronting all human beings on the
earth, for $od.s children(((us( 1ubse-uently, $od dictated t"o more books o%er se%eral
years, to Walsch, and continues to this day to dictate e%en more books( ) "ould be remiss
if ) took credit for this book( ll the "hile ) "as "riting it -- about one "eek -- it felt as
if ) "as taking dictation myself( The "ords *ust flo"ed out on the "ord processor much
as you ha%e read them(
When the hour-long inter%ie" "as finished, ) had long since arri%ed at my
destination, but "as sitting spell-bound in my car in the parking lot absorbing e%ery
"ord( ) determined that ) *ust had to ha%e that first book0 ) thought about "hether )
could afford them, or not( ) only had about PFJ to my name at the time, and no prospect
for any more income at that point in time( ) looked out the "indo" of my car to ponder
this decision( @o and behold, ) "as staring straight at a bookstore0 Thy Will be done!
rushed into my head at the sight( ) fairly flung myself out the door and rushed across the
street( ll the "hile ) "as thinking to myself, $od dictating a book, &ndeed0 Who does
this megalomaniac think he.s kidding0 ) "ill open the book at random and read a passage
ascribed to be ;The Word of $od., and & "ill determine for myself if it could possibly be0
& "on.t be fooled by any human being protestations of the (ivine0!
) rushed through the door and grabbed a copy of the first book( ) opened it at
random and read a passage ascribed to $od, $od.s 1elf0 s ) read the beauty of the
Words "ritten there, my heart fro&e and tears "elled up in my eyes( #hmyod,! )
thought, it &S the Word of $od0! ) spent the last of my money buying those books( ,est
decision ) e%er made(
s so many thousands of the multi-millions of his readers ha%e done, ) attempted
to contact the author( /or "hate%er reason, ) e%entually got through! to him, and
e%entually had the opportunity of meeting him, and sharing some of my blessings
described herein( When he asked me to share some of them "ith his readers in his latest
book, Moments of Grace!, ) "as honored( ) "as a"e-struck "hen he called me,
personally, to ask "hy ) had not "ritten my o"n book, as yet( ) recounted all of my
failed! business %entures of the past se%eral years, and said that ) "as "aiting for one of
them to finally come to fruition before turning my attention back to $od( That.s "hen he
said it( ) "as thunderstruck0 'e said((((
'as it occurred to you that maybe $od doesn.t "ant you tryin to "ork in those
areas, but wants you to "rite your book, no"9!
God>& Ble&&ing
That you are reading this book is the proof of that truth0 +f course, at that precise
moment, $od.s closing "ords to me, "hen $od spoke to me 10 years before rang in my
ears((((
'ere is the story of that e#perience((((
While ) sitting in front of computer, one day, "atching a program do"nload, )
"as brooding o%er "hy it "as taking so long for our first soft"are program to be "ritten
by the programmers(
) "as o%ercome by a strange feeling that ) should pick up a pen, and start "riting(
) didnOt ha%e anything to "rite, so picking up a pen seemed silly( ) tried to ignore the
NfeelingN( ,ut, it persisted( ) thought to myself, NThis is stupid0 Why should ) go and
get a pen and a pad of paper "hen ) donOt ha%e anything to "rite do"n90N
The feeling continued to persist until it built as a giant NurgeN "ithin me( ) could
not deny it( )t <the feeling= "ould not lea%e me alone, and the urge! became as a
crescendo to the ear(((but it "as not a sound, *ust an urgent feeling, "ithin me, that ) had
to honor( 1o, ) NhumoredN myself "ith the thought, N5aybe )Oll *ust "rite "hate%er
comes to mind(((sort of put my -uestions do"n on paper, and then they might make some
sense(N
) left my home office and "ent through the kitchen to my li%ing room to get a pen
and pad of paper, and started heading back to my office, "hen an urge o%ercame me "ith
such force that ) had to sit do"n immediately at my kitchen table, and started to "rite the
flood of "ords that rushed into my brain "ithout any comprehension on my part, as the
"ords "ere coming too fast and furious for me to take the time to understand "hat ) "as
"riting(
,ut, and hereOs the "eird part, -uestions didnOt come to mind( 1entences came to
mind(((from "here, ) kne" not( )n fact, ) "ould start to "rite a sentence, and different
"ords came out on paper than "hat ) thought ) "as trying to compose in my mind( )
found myself struggling to change a sentence mid"ay through, but *ust ga%e in to the
shift in direction Nmy penN "as going( Then, ) *ust ga%e up the struggle, and "rote
"hate%er came to mind, and the tense shifted to my being the second person, and God
bein the first person, the 1peaker!0 ) could think that ) "as Npro*ectingN, but ) "asnOt
"riting the "ords ) "anted to( ThatOs all ) kno" (((e#cept that ) felt a great burden lift
from my shoulders, and an inner peace come o%er me that made me feel that it "asnOt
necessary to kno" +#W things "ould "ork out, nor W+!) they "ould( )t "as enough
to kno" that they "ould "ork out for the best for e%erybody, regardless(
'ereOs "hat N&N "rote((((!
:f .ou turn the %hoi%e o,er to God, wh. doubt =(i&? #o,e&@
:f .ou a&+ for &o#ething 22 are .ou pre&u#ing to tell God how and when to
do it@
Either .ou %ontrol, or : %ontrol.
(a,e faith 22 with faith, all thing& are .our&. Without faith, nothing i&.
/ou %anGt &ee it %o#ing, &o .ou doubt. But tru&t in $e, and e,er.thing will
%o#e.
3onGt worr( that .ou donGt +now how, or wh., or when, or who, or b. what
#ethod...or e,en i& it will %o#e to pa&&.
Worr. i& ta+ing %ontrol.
!aith i& freedo#.
!reedo# fro# the re&pon&ibilit. of .our life, and heartG& de&ire&.
*nger i& not ne%e&&ar....Nu&t faith and lo,e.
Ou&t be%au&e .ou %anGt &ee it, doe&nGt #ean it wonGt, or i&nGt happening.
:t 22 all 22 will happen.
Be patient.
Be bu&..
Keep lo,e in .our heart.
Tru&t in $e, and : will do all thing&.
Be %haritable toward .our fellow #an 22 under&tand the. donGt %ontrol their
li,e& either, &o the. are not re&pon&ible for what the. do 22 onl. for their own
faith, or la%+ of it.
/ou will be $. agent.
/ou will bring the light of under&tanding to the#.
!orgi,e the inNurie& done to .ou b. .our fellow& 22 the. +now not what the.
do, or e,en wh..
*& : u&e people in .our life to deli,er $. #ira%le&, &o, too, do : u&e other& to
deli,er tribulation&.
Thi& i& the road to faith.
: lo,e .ou, $. Son. 7ea%e be with .ou.

7ommander William Thomas Tucker, :nited 1tates Na%al >eser%e, >et(, "as born and
has li%ed most of his life in 5il"aukee, Wisconsin, and suburbs( 'e graduated cum laude
from the :ni%ersity of Wisconsin, "here he ma*ored in *ournalism( 'e spent most of his
professional career in public relations, marketing, ad%ertising, sales management, and
spent about t"enty years as a shopping mall manager( n entrepreneur, he has o"ned t"o
businessesIa maga&ine publishing company in 7alifornia and a soft"are company
speciali&ing in real estate soft"are in 5il"aukee( )n addition, he has taught sales and
marketing part-time at a local college( 'e *oined the :nited 1tates ir /orce at 1H in
1DK0 and retired from the Na%al >eser%e in 2002 at age K0( 7ommander Tucker spent all
of his adult life in %olunteer ser%ice to %arious youth organi&ations including the ,oy
1couts, ?unior chie%ement, and as a college scholarship chairman of %arious
professional organi&ations, and as Na%al cademy )nformation +fficer( "ido"er, he is
the father of three children and the grandfather of t"o( )n 200E, 7ommander Tucker had
his first book, 5iracles 5ade 6ossible! published by a leading publishing company,
'ampton >oads, recounting his miraculous life e%ents( )n 200F he "rote, produced and
directed his first motion picture 1omething /or 1te%ie!(