Professional Documents
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Essence 2014 08
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2014
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VOLUME 45 | NUMBER 4
CONTENTS
78 BUILDING A BRIGHT
FUTURE Editor-in-Chief Vanessa K. Bush
traveled to the White House for an exclusive one-onone with First Lady Michelle Obama about our mutual
quest to get parents and students to reach even higher
84 MOMS ON THE
FRONT LINES Meet six dedicated
parents striving to ensure that all children receive
a quality education By Donna M. Owens
94 JUMP INTO
YOUR DREAMS
98 REMEMBERING
MAYA ANGELOU
NICHOL AS ROUTZEN
10
18
130
132
134
|
|
|
|
|
In Every Issue
Lets Talk
In-Box/Contributors
Where to Buy
Horoscope
Perspective Columnist
Melissa Harris-Perry
offers an alternate
definition of success
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CONTENTS
Style
Beauty&Hair
35 | ALL CLEAR
Expert advice on
preventing and resolving
irksome Black skin woes
42 | SMOOTH OPERATORS
Goodies that will have your
whole body glowing
44 | COLOR THEORY
78
Spruce
up your do with whimsical,
no-commitment hues
The First
Lady has a
bright outlook
for the next
generation.
48 | NATURAL NEWS
Tips
to repair dull, frizzy
and dry strands
Scene
50 | HER SONG
Ex-Floetry
songstress Marsha Ambrosius
returns with new sounds sure
to delight fans
52 | ENTERTAINMENT
James
Brown gets the big-screen
treatment, Halle returns to
the tube and some hip-hop
pioneers hit the stage
54 | BOOKS
Issues
Examining failures
of the past, NAACPs Sherrilyn
Ifill argues that integrating
public schools is the key to
moving forward
Money&Power
74 | ON THE JOB
Actions speak
as loud as your words when
youre on the clock
Sex&Love
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Healthy&Happy
114 | SPIRITUALITY
Three
ladies instruct us on
how to come back from
grief and heartache in
triumphant form
Life
126 | PARENTING
Five fun
and frugal ways to keep
your children active and
actively learning while
schools out
K WAKU ALSTON
64 | SHARE
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WHERE
SMART
STARTS
According to the
Department of Educations Civil Rights
Data Collection, our
students represent 18
percent of preschool
enrollment
hen I recently sat down
yet account for 48 perwith First Lady Michelle
cent of the preschool
Obama at the White House, students suspended
she quickly opened up about her pas- more than once. The
sion for education. In fact, Mrs. Obama
same report noted
shared that some of the most valuable
that Black high
lessons she learnedgrowing up in
school students
Chicagowereat home during conhave diminished
versations she and her brother, Craig,
access to the full range
had with their parents. In our interview
of college preparatory
Building a Bright Future (page 78),
courses (57 percent versus
she encourages us all to deepen our
71 percent for Whites). In light
engagement in young peoples educaof these statistics, where do we begin?
tional experiences, both in school and
In this issue we present solutions
at home.As a mother of two, I know
including those from real-life moms
that the stakes have never been higher
who are active participants in their
for the next generation.
childrens education. After all, where
SOCIAL MEDIA
VIDEO
Editor-in-Chief
Twitter: @Vanessa_KBush
Facebook: Facebook.com/vkbush1
Instagram: vanmommy
E-mail: Vanessa@essence.com
MAYA ANGELOU
ON NEWSSTANDS
SPECIAL TRIBUTE
On May 28, 2014, we learned the sad
news that Dr. Maya Angelou had made her
transition, peacefully, in her sleep. Though
she was in frail health over the past few years,
it was her voiceunique, poetic, reliable
that continued to inspire and comfort us. In
her 86 years, Marguerite Johnson had lived
a dozen lifetimes. She transcended race and
gender yet always felt comfortable in her
skin as a Black woman. At the time I Know
Why the Caged Bird Sings was published
in 1969, four African-American men were
10 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
NOW
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OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PHOTO, CH UCK KEN N EDY. ANG ELOU, AP PHOTO.
WEB
VANESSA K. BUSH
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promotion
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editor-in-Chief Vanessa K. Bush
depArtments
entertAinment direCtor Cori Murray
senior editor, heAlth & relAtionships Sharon Boone
senior editor, personAl finAnCe & CAreers Tanisha A. Sykes
news editor Lauren N. Williams
relAtionships editor Charreah K. Jackson
west CoAst editor Regina R. Robertson
editoriAl AssistAnt Sylvia Obell
ContriButors
editor-At-lArge Mikki Taylor
ContriButing writers Jeannine Amber, Melissa Harris-Perry
Art
Art direCtor Ronda Thompson
AssoCiAte Art direCtor Rashida Morgan-Brown
ContriButing AssoCiAte Art direCtor Nathan Taylor
Art/photo produCtion CoordinAtor Raquel Boler
photo
photo direCtor Andrea M. Jackson
AssoCiAte photo editor Tracey Woods
editoriAl produCtion
editoriAl operAtions direCtor Denolyn Carroll
produCtion mAnAger Carina A. Rosario
produCtion designer Dawn Abbott
AdministrAtion
exeCutiVe AssistAnt to the editor-in-Chief Gwen Epps
editoriAl Business CoordinAtor Rorna Richards Dinnoo
essenCe.Com
exeCutiVe editor Abby West
deputy editor Steven Psyllos
relAtionships editor Charli Penn entertAinment editor Yolanda Sangweni
fAshion editor Celia Smith BeAuty & hAir editor Deena Campbell
photo editor Michael Rowe ContriButing BeAuty editor Crystal Martin
pArtnerships editor Charlise Ferguson
VideogrApher Jay Sansone
informAtion teChnology
Cto & exeCutiVe ViCe-president Colin Bodell
ViCe-presidents Neil Bailey, Agatha M. Cutrone, Abe Cytryn,
reseArCh Center
direCtor Cline Wojtala
time inC.
Chief Content offiCer Norman Pearlstine
printed in the u.s.A.
sweatwithyoursole.com
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Ultra Flexible
meets
Unstoppable
president Michelle Ebanks
Hold
Shine!
adVertising sales
Western sales director Haydn Wright midWest sales director Paul Johnson
detroit sales manager Barbara Zaltz
account directors Patricia Aguayo, Danielle M. Brown, Chauncie Burton,
marKeting
senior director, marKeting Cassandre Pierre
creatiVe director Allyson Brown art director Anna Yakhnich
promotion director Fred Jackson executiVe director, eVent marKeting Ray Kurdziel
special projects director Candace Purdie Montgomery
associate special eVents director Jovanca Maitland-Shelton
liVe eVents
director, national sponsorships Staci Hallmon-Bazzani
associate director, sponsorships sales Anika D. Grant
senior sponsorship actiVation manager Tanya Gunther
director, Finance & operations Stephanie Perry
assistant manager, talent/liVe eVents Zenab Abdill
production
Vice-president, operations Tom Colaprico
group maKeup & positioning manager Arleen OBrien production manager Jamie Elliott
maKeup & positioning manager Mirlaine Brice ad production specialist Luis Jimenez
imaging director Richard Prue imaging manager Hubert Lau
imaging production managers Romeo Cifelli, Jef Ingledue
imaging tablet specialists Alicia Capazzi, Sabrina Italiano
administration
public relations manager Sheila Harris
legal counsel Amy Glickman human resources Kate Weiss
essence.com
associate marKeting director Jocelyn Langevine
director, project management Amy Ryan director, Web technologY Josh Hoeltzel
NO Drying Alcohol
NO Flaking
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business oFFice
executiVe directors Don Lichter, Andrew Weissman, Wynne Wong
director Sherry Wolfe associate directors Melinda Pollard, Brad Scharf, Kerry Winn
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STYLING TRENDS
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Mark Ford, Greg Giangrande, Lawrence A. Jacobs, Todd Larsen, Evelyn Webster
essence coFounder Edward Lewis
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i became a maternal
health advocate the
day i became a mom.
Christy turlington Burns
Maternal Health Advocate and
Founder of Every Mother Counts
Hundreds of thousands of women and girls around the world die every year from complications in pregnancy
or childbirth, creating a rippling effect that devastates children, families, and communities. ninety percent of
these deaths are preventablewith your help. to make a donation or learn more about how to get involved,
visit everymothercounts.org.
EtErnity Calvin Klein is a proud supporter of Every Mother Counts through the #EtErnityProject.
the #EtErnityProject fosters the message of eternal love through the support of philanthropic
endeavors to better the lives of individuals and communities.
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Pore obsessed?
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IN-BOX
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Oh, to have been a y on
that wall.
Leslie M. Harden,
Irmo, SC
Princes fro on the cover
just gave me a week of life!
@Ms_Andrews,
via Twitter
Still Royal
Victorious
The Travelers
Family Guy
CORRECTION
CONTRIBUTORS
DONNA M.
OWENS shares
the journey of
mothers ghting
for quality education in Moms on
the Front Lines
(page 84). The
award-winning
journalist has written for outlets including
NPR, O magazine and the Miami Herald.
Her heroes: My parents galvanized
folks like these women and instilled a
love of books that remains with me.
18 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
LAUREN N.
WILLIAMS
(@laurnwilliams)
is the news editor
for ESSENCE. She
spearheads our
coverage of the
issues that matter
to you, like tips to
help our children get ahead in The Secrets
to Raising Really Smart Kids (page 88).
Her love for Michelle Obama: I feel like
she is a family member. I admire her
integrity and charisma.
SHERRILYN IFILL
(@Sill_LDF) is
the president and
director-counsel
of the NAACP
Legal Defense
and Educational
Fund. She wrote
What It Will Take
to Integrate Our Schools (page 64).
Her discovery: I grew up in a Black
neighborhood and went to integrated
public schools, so I feel fully condent
wherever I am.
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CONTRIBUTORS , FROM LEF T: COU RTESY OF SU B J ECT; MICHAEL ROWE PHOTOG R APHY; MA XIMILLIAN FR ANZ.
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I AM DARK AND LOVELY
intense
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REWORK
YOUR
DENIM
H A I R , ER I C W I L LI A M S FO R J O H N M A S T ER S O RGA N I C S U S I N G P ER FEC T LO C K S H A I R . M A K EU P,
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STYLE
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STYLE : DENIM
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Tuck in your
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cinch with a belt.
Top, Blvd, $38,
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Skirt, Bea & Dot,
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espinosa.com for
stores. Bangles,
R.J. Graziano,
$40 for set of 3,
rjgraziano.com.
Belt, Igigi, $55,
igigi.com.
Top shorts
with a smart
blazer. Shorts,
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News, $54,
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Blazer, T.J.
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RACE RED
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THE SKYS MY LIMIT
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ANGEL WITH A LEADFOOT
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WHAT WERE
WEARING IN...
THESE DENIM DARLINGS ADORE
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Tanisha Marshall,
model
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WASHINGTON, DC
Mariama Bramble,
entrepreneur
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Erica Scott,
entrepreneur
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Misha Pruitt,
sales support specialist
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AUGUSTA, GA
Jasmine Savage,
student
CLOCK WISE FROM TOP RIG HT: EMIL LEN DOF; COU RTESY OF SU B J ECT (5).
Shainna Tucker,
style blogger
Beauty
feel-good
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2014 Target Brands, Inc. The Bullseye Design is a registered trademark of Target Brands, Inc. Prices not applicable in Alaska and Hawaii. 464436
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The biggest
lesson Ive
learned from
playing Candace
[Tyler Perrys The
Haves and the Have
Nots] is not to
let anger and
lifes experiences
eat you up.
Crop top, American
Apparel. Skirt,
Alberta Ferretti.
Necklace, Robert
Lee Morris.
Rings, Ora.
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I feel most
bossy in jeans
and heels.
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Jumpsuit, Diesel.
Earrings, Ora.
Cuf, Robert
Lee Morris.
Pumps, Bally.
Dog collar, Ware
of the Dog. w
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There are so
many beautiful
shades of brown
skin, and the
rest of the world
just had to
catch up [on
celebrating us].
Turtleneck,
American Apparel.
Pants, Hilger
Collection. Choker,
Anndra Neen.
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As long as Im
comfortable, I feel
condent.
Jacket and shorts,
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Victorias Secret
Catalogue. Cuf, Jill
Golden. Sandals,
Alejandro Ingelmo.
Dog collar
and leash,
Mungo & Maud. w
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at ESSENCE.COM/TIKANETWORK.
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day fun.
Toyota RAV4
toyota.com/rav4
Options shown. Do not overload your vehicle. See Owners Manual for weight limits and restrictions. 2014 Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Inc.
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Olay Fresh
Effects Shine
Minimizing
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fl. oz.
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Revlon
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Dove Go Fresh
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All Clear
BEAUTY
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SKIN TAGS
Cheryl Burgess, M.D., a
Washington, D.C.based
dermatologist and Black
Opal Cosmetics skin
expert.
Although
its
usage has been controversial (some countries
in Europe and Africa
have banned hydroquinone), it has proved to
be the most efective
and fastest method of
treatment. For example,
spots closer to the
skins surface can sometimes fade in about
two to four weeks.
Hydroquinone-free
products like Black Opal
Tri-Complex
Skintone
Brightening Gel ($14,
drugstores) may contain
FRECKLES ARE CUTE. ACNE SCARS AND
brightening ingredients
UNEVEN SKIN TONE? NOT SO MUCH
such as licorice, vitamin
nything that disrupts the skin C, retinol and kojic acid. These alter(acne, waxing, shaving or a mosnatives can help clear up discolorquito bite) causes inammation, which
ation, but they often require a longer
often results in discoloration for women commitment. For faster results they
of color. Although brown skin has builtcan be used with hydroquinone. Ask
in sun protection, excess sun exposure your dermatologist before combining
can intensify hyperpigmentation.
too many treatments, and remember
sunscreen is a must. Sun exposure
The Rx: Theres what we call a ramps up melanin production, which
gold standard in hyperpigmentais the last thing you need when trying
tion treatmenthydroquinone, says to rid skin of dark spots.
HYPERPIGMENTATION
The Rx:
Although skin
tags can be
unsightly,
theyre harmless. If youre
uncertain
whether its a
tag or a mole,
visit a dermatologist. Your
doctor can
easily remove the tags by numbing
the area with a topical anesthetic
and snipping them off.
ACNE SCARS
The Rx: If you know that you get scarring from your acnemeaning a change
of texture, not just discolorationthen
even one new pimple a month means 12
new scars a year, says Doris Day, M.D.,
clinical associate professor of dermatology at New York Universitys Langone
Medical Center. Get professional help to
treat the acne so you can avoid scarring.
If the damage is already done, a device
like the eMatrix laser is a great choice
for skin of color. The laser uses radio fre-
quencies to reform the collagen underneath the skin. The therapy increases cell
turnover, so youll get a fresh and smooth
new layer of skin. Each treatment takes
about ten minutes and youll need three
to ve sessions for optimal results. Craterlike scars can be treated with a laser
Deeper scars are a lot more difcult to
treat. Nothing really helps them, says
Day. With acne scars you have to be
very careful. I never say the scarring will
be gone; I just say it will be better. w
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EYE
STUDIO
ADVANCED TECH FOR SUPERIOR EYE EFFECTS
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LEATHER
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The ultimate creamy
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Blend multiple shades for a
modern, creamy, rich finish.
YADIM CARRANZA,
GLOBAL MAKEUP ARTIST
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CELLULITE
BELLY BULGE
SO YOU FELL PREY TO THE
FRESHMAN 15, AND ITS STILL
HANGING ON TEN YEARS LATER
says Bruce E. Katz, M.D., director of the Juva Skin & Laser
Center in New York City.
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STRETCH MARKS
BATHING YOURSELF IN BODY
OIL EVERY NIGHT HAS YOUR
SKIN GLOWING, BUT ITS DONE
NOTHING FOR THOSE LINES
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TM
Motion Picture Artwork 2014 Lions Gate Entertainment Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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promotion
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JourNEy To BEAuTiful
ESSENCE hosted an exclusive conversation in NYC with May
cover Superstars Ledisi and Erykah Badu led by our new Beauty
and Style Director Pamela Edwards-Christiani. The night ended
with the debut of the new Hair Channel on ESSENCE.com
Photo: PictureGroup
Top left to bottom right: Bershan Shaw, Tifany Jones, ESSENCE.com Hair and Beauty
Editor Deena Campbell, Erykah Badu, Christina Rice, and Chenoa Maxwell, Celebrity
Blogger Necole B, ESSENCE Editor-In-Chief Vanessa K. Bush, ESSENCE Beauty and
Style Director Pamela Edwards-Christiani, Erykah Badu and Ledisi, Author and Reality
Star Demetria L. Lucas
Top (NyC) left to right: Renae Bluitt, Kla Walker, Beauty and Style Director Pamela
Edwards-Christiani, Mann Nance, Aliah Davis, and Tiarra Monet. Bottom (Atlanta, gA)
right to left: Tarika Saada, Mimi, Beauty and Style Director Pamela Edwards-Christiani,
Mann Nance, Nikki Mae, and Brandi Elise.
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BEAUTY BASICS
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Color
Teory
Carla Gentry Osorio
and her Styles New
York Salon team prove
that fun, temporary hair
hues arent just for kids
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY
ANGELIKA BUETTNER
Want to know the tricks to
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SCENE : ENTERTAINMENT
Halle
Berry
returns
to the
small
screen.
HALLE BERRY
IS OUT OF
THIS WORLD
TV
HOT NEW
SCI-FI SERIES
A
IT
EXHIB
Go see Funky
Turns 40!: Black Character
Revolution at Chicagos
DuSable Museum; until
October 20.
Fat Albert
and the Cosby
Kids was one
of the rst
cartoons on
TV with a
Black cast.
TABLET EXTRAS
Hear how Chadwick
Boseman adored
working with female
costars like Viola
Davis and Jill Scott.
AUGUST
MUSIC MUSTS
MUSIC
Lt. Uhura
reprised her
live-action
role from
Star Trek in
the animated
series.
Lauryn
Hill
Franklin
Armstrong
was the
rst Black
character
introduced
in Peanuts.
TABLET EXTRAS See more photos from the Funky Turns 40! exhibit,
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SCENE : BOOKS
Bass and
Craft (right)
with characters from
The Zero
Degree
Zombie
Zone.
GETTING
OUR BOYS
TO READ
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10
THINGS
WERE
TALKING
ABOUT
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ISSUES
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WNBA.COM/TICKETS
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THE CREAM OF
THE CROP
In Black Girls
Rock! news:
Erika H. James
has been
named dean of Emory
Universitys Goizueta
Business School,
making her
the rst Black
woman to
run a top 25
M.B.A. program.
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6
4. HANDOUT/MCT/NEWSCOM. 5. JOSE LUIS PELAEZ, INC./GETTY IMAGES. 6. YURI
ARCURS/GETTY IMAGES. 9. COURTESY OF SUBJECT. 10. AP PHOTO/MATT YORK.
RACIAL DISCONNECT
4
It is as though weve
run up a credit card bill and,
HAVING IT
ALLAT WORK
COMING UP SHORT
10
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ISSUES : SHARE
Ill looks
toward a
promising
future for
school and
community
integration.
What It Will
Take to Integrate
Our Schools
WEVE BEEN MISSING A KEY COMPONENT
IN THE FIGHT FOR EDUCATION EQUALITY
BY SHERRILYN IFILL
Busings efects
didnt always
prove equal.
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ISSUES : REPORT
The Morris familys struggle to gain media attention for Jade is common for families of missing Black
children. A 2010 report, Missing Children in National
News Coverage, found that though African-Americans
account for 33.2 percent of missing children, our stories
are covered by the media at a rate of 19.5 percent.
Here the Wilsons talk about their important work:
bringing visibility to Black persons who have vanished.
MISSING
WHILE
BLACK
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ADDS A
TOUCH OF
COOL TO
YOUR LOOK.
YOUR BREATHS FRIEND
40
min
FRESHER
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BREATH
AFTER CHEWING.
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FIND CASH
FOR COLLEGE
MONEY &
POWER
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BEFORE YOU
GO TO
COLLEGE:
PICK THE
RIGHT SCHOOL.
A college shouldmeet three needs,
says Dana S. Branham, a nancial
adviser with Lasting Legacy Wealth
Management in Lexington, Kentucky:
It has to t academically, socially and
nancially.Not only should you consider
whether youll have enough to pay the
tuition all four years, but you should also
keep in mind the debt impact after you
graduate. Its an immediate hole youve
got to dig out of, Branham says.
You can save thousands by attending
school in your state. The average cost
of tuition and fees for a public four-year,
in-state college is $8,893 compared with
$22,203 for a public four-year, out-ofstate institution, according to the College Boards Annual Survey of Colleges.
Its important to weigh the costs
of tuition, housing, transportation and
food, and ask the nancial aid ofce how
often and by what percentage tuition
usually goes up each year, says Scott.
You want to factor that in to determine
if this is something you can aford over a
four-year period, Scott adds.
MAKE ALL
YOUR DEADLINES.
In order to qualify for federal nancial
aid, you must ll out the Free Applica-
A college
should
meet
three needs:
It has to fit
academically,
socially and
financially.
BESTRATEGIC ABOUT
SCHOLARSHIPS.
Sure, you should be looking on sites
such as fastweb.com and scholarships
.com, but there are other ways to
find scholarships. Miller applied
for more than five per year. While
she didnt win them all, her awards
ultimately exceeded her tuition by
nearly $10,000. She found many local
scholarships by Googling her state
and nearby cities along with the words
scholarship foundation. She also called
the nancial aid ofces of multiple institutes in her region. There might be local
scholarship opportunities at one college
that arent shared at another, she says.
Today Miller, 25, helps others locate
money for college through her Web site,
debtfreecollegegrad.com.
CHOOSE LOANS
CAREFULLY.
Federal student loansthose funded
by the federal governmentare often
a part of a colleges nancial aid package. Private loans, funded by banks
and other lenders, can also be used
to help pay for higher education, but
use them only as a last resort. Federal
loans come with xed interest rates
and many federal loan programs let
you reduce your loan payments if they
become unafordable. If youre taking
out a loan, dont borrow more than you
need, Branham advises. Also, consider
the Public Service Loan Forgiveness
Program, which lets you of the hook
Keep track
of eligibility
requirements
and deadlines.
ONCE
YOUREIN
SCHOOL:
RAISE
YOUR PROFILE.
Rhineharts secret tosecuringmore
than $100,000 in funding and internships over four years at DePaul was to
stay active. I got involved in at least ve
organizations my rst year, and every
organization gave out a scholarship,
says Rhinehart, who graduated in 2009.
Some organizations also connected her
with other scholarship opportunities. For
example, she received a $3,000 w
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BUDGET
WISELY.
Once you receive your disbursement
for the fall semester, you might not
get more money until the spring,
so create a spending plan to ensure
that you dont run out of funds in the
interim, Scott advises. If you must
pay for of-campus housing, ask if
you can pay your rent for the entire
semester so you dont have to worry
Financial aid
IF YOURE IN A
CASH CRISIS:
SLASH
HOUSING COSTS.
You might have to get creative. To cut
expenses, Miller stayed withfamily and
commuted 35 minutes each day when
she was going to dental school. Other
options for reducing housing costs
include getting roommates andsigning
up for your utility providers budget plan.
CONSIDER COMMUNITY
COLLEGE.
The average cost of a two-year, in-state
college is$3,264per year compared
with $8,893 for a public four-year,
in-state college. These education
institutes have whats known as articulation agreements, which guarantee that
certain community college courses
will satisfy freshmen and sophomore
requirements at a four-year university so
you can take those courses at the community college level and nish up your
last two years at the four-year institution.
The last thing you want to do is stop
going to school, soexhaust all options
before taking a semester break. A
failure to ask for help could really be
detrimental to the success of that student not just receiving aid but ultimately
receiving their degree, Scott says.
ASK
FOR HELP.
Financial aid ofcers have an authority
called Professional Judgment, through
which they can award additional aid
if circumstances suddenly impact a
students ability to pay for school.
For example, if students had medical
expenses they had to cover during a
particular semester, there may be something that we can do in the nancial aid
ofce to provide assistance, says Scott.
Additional sources of emergency aid
include short-term loans and scholarships set up within universities tohelp
students in nancial crisis. There are also
national programs, such as Scholarship
AmericaDreamkeepers (scholarship
america.org/dk.php), that help students
stay in school.
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s
e
d
o
s
i
p
E
w
e
All N
JULY 23 9/8c
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HOW TO
READ PEOPLE
BODY LANGUAGE CAN CLUE YOU IN
ON WHAT YOUR BOSS AND COLLEAGUES
ARENT TELLING YOU
BY JANELLE HARRIS | PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIM FRANCO
f youve ever been blindsided by an unfavorable performance review or a backstabbing coworker, you know that
people dont always say what they mean. However, the
body doesnt lie. It takes only seconds to tell whether someone
is being straightforward with you, says Lillian Glass, an expert
in body language and behavioral analysis and the author of
I Know What Youre Thinking (Wiley).
Luckily, the ability to read and decipher body language can
be learned. Weve all heard that crossing the arms is a defensive
position, but body language in the workplace can be far more
subtle, experts say. Here are some cues your boss and colleagues
may be sending and ways to use them to your advantage:
POSTURE NEVER LIES. We lean toward things we like and
away from things we dont, says Janine Driver, author of You
Say More Than You Think (Crown). So if your manager is sitting
up and leaning in your direction, shes interested in hearing more
of what you have to say. If she leans back during the course of a
conversationespecially a critical oneshes creating distance,
which could signal a problem. Driver suggests turning the interaction around by saying, Maybe Im wrong here, but it seems
I made you uncomfortable bringing that up. Its a cordial, disarming style of confronting the situation, she says, and claries
the reason for the shift in mood.
YOUR EXPRESSIONS
AND STANCES
SPEAK VOLUMES.
SOME TIPS:
1. Point your feet
toward the person you
want to connect with.
2. Keep hands open to
show approachability.
3. Maintain good,
consistent eye contact
(but dont stare).
4. Avoid crossing the
armsit subconsciously
creates barriers.
5. Leaning away implies
disinterest. Lean in!
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NE
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JEEP.cOm/SUmmEr
#JEEpSUMMER
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SU
ELT
R NEVER
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BUILDING A
BRIGHT
FUTURE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KWAKU ALSTON
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OneWorldMags.net
of the things Ive tried to tell
my kids is that there is nothing
cooler than a good education.
ESSENCE: Thank you for agreeing to speak with us
about your new childrens initiative and the importance
of parental engagement in our childrens education.
We know that parents cannot rely solely on educators
to encourage our kids pursuit of knowledge. How do
we get moms and dads to take more ownership?
FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA: I attribute so much
of my success to my parents involvement. My parents
were working-class folks. Neither of them went to college,
but there was something clear about their expectations
of us. There was no question in my mind, in my brothers
mind, that we were going to college. And that notion was
instilled in us at a very early age. What I think is important
for parents to know is that you dont have to be a collegeeducated, well-networked, well-nanced set of individuals to have that kind of impact.
I remember my mom being involved in our schools
from the beginning. She was one of those parents who
were active in the PTA. She was at the school ofce; she
was checking in on teachers. She was asking questions.
She knew who my teachers were. She knew how the
curriculum was being structured. And I know it was the
engagement of my mom and a couple of other parents at
my public school in Chicago that had a positive efect on
me and on so many others.
I want parents to know that its never too early to start
setting those expectations, and it doesnt require any particular skill set. It just requires a deep passion and belief
that education is the key to our childrens success.
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HAIR, JOHNNY WRIGHT. MAKEUP, CARL RAY. PROP STYLIST, DORCIA KELLEY.
FOR CLOTHING AND HOME ACCESSORIES DETAILS, SEE WHERE TO BUY.
try new things, fail, get up and try again. Thats what
we want kids to understand about education. We dont
want our kids to drop out because they believe they
can't do it.
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Mrs. Obama
enjoys the rstever White
House talent
show at the
White House on
May 20, 2014.
J IM WATSON/AFP/G E T T Y IMAG ES
Did you know that most students are eligible to receive nancial
aid from the federal government to help pay for college or a
career school? No matter your race, age or eld of study, you
can qualify. While your income is taken into consideration, it
does not automatically prevent you from getting assistance.
Here are resources you can tap into:
default/les/nancial-aidprocess.png.
The online presentation
here helps separate myth
from reality in applying for
federal student aid:
studentaid.ed.gov/sites/
default/les/myths.wmv.
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ESSENCE: And do you think your girls feel the same way?
M.O.: I hope they do. Thats what we talk about. We talk
about responsibility and accountability, about making sure
that theyre not wasting the opportunities theyre given. We
make sure they know how lucky they are and that, because
of that, they have an obligation to have their acts together
and to take their education very seriously. But what we
realize as parents is that we have to deliver that message
again, and again and again and again, in subtle and deliberate ways. In our house we spend a lot of time talking around
the dinner table, and that is something I would encourage
other parents to do as well. We talk about the girls in
Nigeria. We talk about what it must feel like to live in a
country where you cant get an education as a young
woman and what that means for all girls in the world,
how that struggle impacts them.
ESSENCE: From the number of books Ive seen in your
ofce, reading must also be important to you as part of a
good education.
M.O.: I tell kids that if you do nothing else, read. Thats what
the President of the United States does. The more you read,
not only the more information you have in your head but
also the more youre able to articulate your own points and
views. Parents, read and talk to your kids. Encourage them
to use their voice. That was something my parents did for
us; they always asked our opinions. We were allowed to
practice expressing our thoughts and ideas. Around our
dinner table, it wasnt dont speak unless spoken to. That
wasnt the motto. The motto was, What do you think? Tell
me about your day. Why do you feel that way? Those are
the very subtle but important things that parents can do
now that dont cost any money or require any particular
kind of expertise. Those are all the tools kids need to be
comfortable in the classroom, then go on to sit in a lecture
hall at a university and be able to hold their own. It starts
with those conversations.
ESSENCE: Why do you think so many of our kids these
days see being smart as not being cool. What would
you say to them to change that way of thinking?
M.O.: The people we admire in our society today are
82 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
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Teach
your kids
how to
think,
reach
higher,
dream big
and plan
for the
future.
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S
M
O
Mon the
T
N
O
R
F
LINES
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tter future
ssly in hopes of a be
ele
tir
ing
rk
wo
e
ar
g on school
ss the country
PTA meetings, sittin
ing
nd
Black mothers acro
te
at
y
da
y
er
going to bat ev
allenge the status
for our kids. Theyre
public policy and ch
ift
sh
to
ts
or
ef
s
ot
ucation reform is
grassro
ordinary work in ed
boards and leading
tra
ex
e
os
wh
en
m
es six wo
A M. OWENS
quo. ESSENCE salut
our children BY DONN
of
n
tio
ca
du
ise
m
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helping to reverse
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ZAKIYAH ANSARI, 47
JODIAH JACOBS
Ansari used to spend long days just cooking, cleaning and caring for her husband and
their eight children. These days, the former
stay-at-home mom is also advocating for the
1.1 million students enrolled in New York City
public schools. My journey began 14 years
ago when I joined the parentteacher association, explains Ansari, who has put all of
her kids through the public school system.
From being a member of the PTA ,
Ansari went on to become a parent leader
with Brooklyn Education Collaborative, an
advocacy group. I realized that while my three
daughters had access to art and foreign language at their schools, other Brooklyn schools
had been starved of programs and money.
Thus, in 2006 the NYC Coalition for
Educational Justice (CEJ) was born. A
founding leader with CEJ, Ansari, along with
other parents, negotiated $5 million from
the Department of Education to fund school
improvements. CEJ works in partnership with
other groups to bring attention to the wave
of school closings across the country, which
seem to disproportionately afect Black and
Latino communities.
Last year Ansari was selected to serve
on New York mayor Bill de Blasios transition
team as a parent representative. Today shes
the advocacy director at Alliance for Quality Education, a group working for equitable
school-aid funding. Too many children are
being lost, Ansari says. Its an honor for me
to help them. w
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ALLISON R. BROWN, 38
When Royal saw her oldest son, Khristopher, of to kindergarten back in August 1991, she expected her energetic little boy to spend his days reciting the alphabet and coloring. Instead, each afternoon when Royal went to pick him
up, she would hear that hed been punished for acting out in
class. Khris was often made to sit out in the hall or sent to the
assistant principal, recalls Royal. I knew that if this continued,
he would miss out on a great deal of learning.
So Royal took a drastic step: That spring, she quit her
full-time job as a store manager and started
volunteering every day at her sons
school. In the second grade,
Khris was diagnosed
INGRID WALKER-HENRY, 37
Board Member, Milwaukee Teachers
Education Association, Milwaukee
Plenty of folks can speak in the abstract about the state of public schools, but Walker-Henry is in the trenches as a teacher,
union leader and community activist. After many years spent
guiding her own students, shes now an instructional coach
who helps her colleagues ne-tune their teaching methods. At
Auer Avenue elementary school, which is located in the one
of the poorest ZIP codes in Wisconsin, the soft-spoken educator says students walk to school in a neighborhood rife with
crime and poverty. We have a population of more than 300
students, and all but one child get free lunch, she says. Some
kids come to school needing glasses, shoes and clothes.
The institution also has a high mobility rate, meaning that
students might be enrolled one month and gone the next. If
a family can leave the neighborhood, they get out, WalkerHenry explains. Even if that means transferring kids during the
school year. But she lauds the faculty at Auer Avenue, as she
says they strive to give their young charges the best education
possible. We do our utmost to move them forward, she says .
Beyond the classroom Walker-Henry sits on the executive board of the Milwaukee Teachers Education Association
(MTEA), serving as secretary. And shes active with Schools
& Communities United, whose precursor group had suc86 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
.
on R
Allis n
w
o
Br
Karran
Harper
Royal
ri d
I n g l ke r - d
n
Wa nr y a e,
H e niec h
r
h e e e ra
Am
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WALKER- H EN RY, JOE B RUSK Y. HARPER ROYAL, GUS B EN N E T T. ELLIS -STE WART,
MITCH ELL KE ARN E Y. B ROWN AN D RE YNOLDS , COU RTESY OF SU B J ECTS .
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with attention-decit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). A few
years later she got online and spent countless hours researching educational resources for children afected by the disorder.
When Royal learned about the Individuals With Disabilities
Education Act, which governs special education services, she
held the school accountable for the support her son needed.
I got them to implement professional development for my sons
teachers so theyd learn how to work with students with ADHD.
Royal later joined a national advocacy group, Children and Adults
with Attention-Decit/Hyperactivity Disorders (CHADD), and
served on the board of directors for the organization.
Since then, Royal has become the assistant director of Pyramid Community Parent Resource Center, which provides support to parents of children with disabilities. Once I learned how
to help my children, I shared what I knew with other parents
and guardians, she says.
ERICKA M. ELLIS-STEWART, 40
At-Large Rep., Charlotte-Mecklenburg
Board of Education, Charlotte, NC
SHONEICE REYNOLDS, 33
Cofounder, Badass Moms Association,
Chicago
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THE SECRETS TO
R AISING REALLY
SMART KIDS
Weve all heard the sobering statistics: When it comes to academic
achievement, African-American students are often coming up short,
falling behind their peers in standardized test scores, high school
graduation rates and enrollment in the most rigorous classes. But
we can make a change. Jeannine Amber asked experts across the
country for their best tips to propel our kids to excellence. It turns out
the key to academic success is not what weve been told.
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Other experts point to the welldocumented link between socioeconomics and achievement to explain why Black
children are falling behind. Thirty-eight
percent of Black children in this country
live below the poverty level. Poor children disproportionately attend the most
underfunded and lowest-performing
schools, and almost 25 percent never
graduate from high school. But according to research out of Harvard University,
Get Ahead
The years before your
youngster begins school are
some of the most important for brain development.
Parenting behaviors adults
exhibit at home can help
prepare infants and toddlers
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THIS PAG E: CH RIS COLE / TH E NOU N PROJ ECT. OPPOSITE PAG E, CLOCK WISE FROM TOP RIG HT: YO SZCZEPAN KSA / TH E NOU N PROJ ECT;
J PA19 9 9/G E T T Y IMAG ES; SU PER ATIC L ABS/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT; SCOT T LE WIS/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT; DANI ROLLI/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT.
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START EARLY
F
DIVORCE OR DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE CAN IMPACT
PERFORMANCE
stress
on
children.
Experiencing
divorce,
domestic
violence,
the loss of a parent (to death or
incarceration) and witnessing neighborhood violence can impact their
performance at school, she says.
The efects of stress, and its impact
on cognition, can be seen in children as
young as newborns. Too much stress
causes chemical reactions that can
retard brain development, explains
Ferguson. Studies show infants sufer
from elevated levels of the hormone
cortisol, which interferes with concentration and memory, after prolonged
periods of crying without being comforted. Also stressful for babies, says
Ferguson, are loud, sudden noises. Think
of the way your baby startles when she
hears a door slam. Or glance at your
babys expression the moment after
you yell at your older kid and youll
notice that you scared the baby more
than the other child, says Ferguson.
That is a negative moment for brain
development.
BUILDING BRAIN
ARCHITECTURE SERVES
KIDS OVER A LIFETIME
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BUILD CHARACTER
TACKLE BIAS
M
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NEGOTIATE
WITH YOUR TEEN
OPPOSITE PAG E, FROM TOP: ADAM GALE / TH E NOU N PROJ ECT; LEONTU R A /G E T T Y IMAG ES; A- DIGIT. THIS PAG E, FROM TOP RIG HT: J PA19 9 9/G E T T Y
IMAG ES (2); DU KE IN NOVATION CO - L AB/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT; J ENS TARNING/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT; K ATH RICK NAGAR AJAN/ TH E NOU N PROJ ECT.
There is almost a
20% gap in
the graduation
rates between
White and Black
college students.
FOCUS ON
HARD WORK
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J
94 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
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P
M
JU
I N TO YOU R
DR EA M S
US AND
Step One:
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decade ago. The man she met then is not the man she knows
today, she says emphatically. I saw a hurting man, and sometimes when youre hurting you hurt others, she says. While
Nichols is diplomatic in her assessment, Harvey cuts more to
the chase. She didnt like me, he says.
During that time, Harvey explains, he was going through a
bitter divorce. Forget the suits, forget the Kings of Comedy,
forget all that, he says. I was in a world of pain and I was in a
miserable place in my life. As a result, he says, he would lash
out at people because he didnt feel good about himself.
Harvey doesnt share his story in a bid for sympathy or as
a way to explain away his behavior. Hes just telling it like it is.
I made mistakes. I made bad choices. I did some bad things.
And I kept myself on a treadmill of just looping over the pain
because I couldnt x it, he says.
Recognizing your pain and how bad you feel today is not
about making excuses; its about standing in your personal
truth, which is crucial to transformation. Ill never stand up
there and tell somebody [transformation is] going to be easy.
Its going to be funky some days, Harvey says.
Step Tree:
EMBRACE A VISION.
In order to keep yourself
motivated, youve got to
have a dream. Whether
your goal is to start your
own business or to raise
healthy and happy children,
you need something to work
toward. If you dont have a vision,
what are you waking up for? Harvey
asks. Once you have a vision, nd a way to
remind yourself regularly of where youre
trying to go. Three years ago, Harvey created a vision boarda collection of images
and afrmations that reect your goalsand
wrote down that he would become one of the
premier motivational speakers in the country.
Since then, the board has inspired him to take
steps to make that dream a reality.
THE TOUR
Starting this fall, Harvey and Nichols
will travel across the country teaching
crowds how to attract success through
the Act Like a Success tour. Theyll
share what theyve done really, really
right in their lives, Nichols says, and
the things we did really, really wrong.
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CHAD OU B RE
THE BOOK
Act Like a Success, Think Like
a Success (Amistad) explains
how everyone has a unique gift
that no one can take away. It
also details how to discover
that gift and make the most
of it.
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give them advice throughout his
career. Bill Cosby once told him that
when you have the ability to make
people laugh, you have their undivided attention, and when you have
their undivided attention, you can
tell them anything. So Harvey would
impart wisdom through jokes. Even
in my comedy, I used to speak on
race, he says. And then I would
stop and tell men how to really get
their life in order.
YOUR PARACHUTE
STEVE HARVE Y
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MAYA ANGELOU
THOUGH WE HAVE LOST A MOTHER
AND A FRIEND, MAYA ANGELOUS SPIRIT AND
INFLUENCE WILL ENDURE FOR GENERATIONS.
IN AN ESSENCE TRIBUTE, 11 LUMINARIES SALUTE
OUR TREASURED HEROINE AND RECALL DEAR
MEMORIES OF HOW MAYA TOUCHED THEIR LIVES
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Angelou in the
early 1980s, then a
professor at Wake Forest
University in WinstonSalem, North Carolina
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e know that death comes to us all. Marguerite Johnson, the woman the world knew as
Maya Angelou, never feared the end. She was
a woman who refused to be fettered by the worlds narrow dictates about race, gender and sexual orientation;
about how Colored girls and Negro womenAll women! All
men!were supposed to be and behave. She claimed her
right to live in the world, to discover herself, to own her life
and to enjoy it.
For 40 years, I was blessed by her friendship. I was
barely in my thirties when she extended her hand to me.
She invited me to lunch and I was in awe. There I was, practically tongue-tied, sitting across the table from one of my
sheroes. And when she told me how much she admired
the work I was doing at ESSENCE my spirit leapt, because
this tall, elegant, eloquent, beautiful woman embodied the
magazines raison dtre. Her rst memoir, I Know Why the
Caged Bird Sings, had proven wrong all the people who dismissed and discounted Black women writers. She proved
that her words, our words, her story and our stories mattered, that our books could y of the shelves. Her success
paved the way for her sister writers, seeded the ground for
Maya called
out the truism
that we are
rarely alone
when we are
living lives
of betrayal.
Those words
have served
as a constant
reminder
that we must
remain faithful even if it
means being
alone.
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1970, a year after
Caged Birds debut
CLOCK WISE FROM TOP LEF T: MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/G E T T Y IMAG ES (2); COU RTESY OF E VERE T T COLLECTION; ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES/G E T T Y
IMAG ES; JOH N SOTOMAYOR / TH E N E W YORK TIM ES/REDUX; MARY ELLEN MARK (2); RON G ROEPER; H U LTON ARCHIVE /G E T T Y IMAG ES .
A portrait of Angelou
as a dancer, circa 1950
A still from
her 1957 lm,
Calypso Heat Wave
A promotional
photo for
her album,
Miss Calypso
On the Roots
set, with director Alex Haley
With exhusband,
Paul du Feu
Laughing with
her son, Guy
Johnson
Hugging her
mother, Vivian
aya and I rst met when she came to the University of Virginia to give a reading.
A few years later, she rang me up out of the blue. Rita! she said. It is shameful. Toni Morrison received the Nobel Prize half a year ago, but shes yet to be celebrated properly. You have been poet laureate since last fall, and I have not noticed that this was
addressed in the Black community. Toni and you need a party. Ive decided to give you one.
Now, a party thrown by Maya Angelou exploded every denition of revelry. Guests ew into
Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and were whisked by limousine to Mayas house, where a veritable Whos Who of Notable Negroes mingled under the tents erected in her backyard: Sonia
Sanchez, Amiri Baraka, Oprah Winfrey, Angela Davis, to name a few. There was a formal dress
code, yet the menu was boisterously Down-Home, with ribs and okra, fried chicken and biscuits.
There were hugs and gufaws, animated gesturing and licked ngers as Maya, resplendent in a
gilded purple caftan, moved through the multitudes bearing a tray of barbecue chicken. She had
made most of the food herself. Black-tie and barbecue: It was Mayas way of showing us all how
to cherish our roots while keeping our sights on the stars.
Mayas
articulation of
Black womens
imagery is
forever steeped
in the simple
yet seismicshifting notion
that we are
limitless.
Ava DuVernay,
lmmaker
The Pulitzer Prizewinning Rita Dove is the rst Black poet laureate of the U.S. w
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OUR MAYA
BY EDWIDGE DANTICAT
Angelou at
home in 2006
A Ghana
postage
stamp in
her honor
Reciting On the
Pulse of Morning at
President Clintons
1993 inauguration
Angelou and
Coretta Scott King
Flanked by
Cicely Tyson
and Oprah
Directing her lm
Down in the Delta
Maya
encouraged
us to grow
into our
power. Her
fierce honesty showed
that it was
possible to be
your Black
woman self
and hold
your head
high.
Chirlane McCray,
rst lady of
New York City
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CARRY ON
BY NIKKY FINNEY
CLOCK WISE FROM TOP LEF T: AP PHOTO/PAB LO MARTIN EZ MONSIVAIS; K WAKU ALSTON/CORB IS OUTLIN E; AP PHOTO/PATSY LYNCH; LEIF SKOOG FORS/
CORBIS; KMA ZU R / WIREIMAG E; MIR AMA X /COU RTESY OF E VERE T T COLLECTION; PAU L MORIGI/AP IMAG ES FOR NATIONAL PORTR AIT GALLERY.
Receiving
the Medal of
Freedom from
President
Barack Obama
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Maya was
unafraid
to tell it
the way
grandma
told itlike
it was
and is.
THE SOURCE
BY ASHA BANDELE
BY PEARL CLEAGE
Susan L. Taylor,
ESSENCE editorin-chief emerita
CELEBRATION
A ARON R APOPORT/CORBIS
ANGELOU CHRONICLED HER EXTRAORDINARY LIFE OVER SEVEN BOOKS. THE POETS
BEAUTIFUL MEMORY LIVES ON FOREVER IN HER WORDS AND IN OUR HEARTS
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PROMOTION
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DENTYNE ICE IS
YOUR BREATHS FRIEND
Whether youre headed to a morning meeting,
happy hour with friends, or even date night
fresh breath can make all the diference.
Facebook.com/Dentyne
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A Legacy
of Love
SEX &
LOVE
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knew his job would be a problem for me, and we eventually stopped dating.
I must also deal with the public perception of my life
versus who I really am. In my earlier years, a friend asked
me out, then stood me up three times. He finally revealed
he was scared of paparazzi. I dont even
have paparazzi around me. In law school,
I fell in love with Travis*, whom I met at
a park. We almost got engaged after
dating a few years. At the time I was
evolving spiritually and was finally at a
place to stop running from my legacy as
a member of the King family. One day
it hit me that the relationship wouldnt
last. People used to tease and call Travis
Mr. King and it bothered him. I realized
I would need someone who would be
ready for what a life with me would mean
and who had already found success on
his own. My grandfather always told me,
You dont marry individuals, you marry
families. And I know that anyone I am
serious about has to be able to handle
marrying into the King family.
My favorite picture of my parents is the
February photo in the 2006 annual King
Center calendar. She died on January 30,
2006, and when we ipped the calendar
on February 1, the picture was of her kissing my father. His eyes are dreamy, as if he
were welcoming her in heaven. My mother
picked the pictures as if she knew she
would see him soon.
I have seen Gods amazing ways of blessing us many times and am open to meeting
my future husband in a nontraditional way.
I even once went on a date with a man I had spotted in the
pages of ESSENCE. It has been quite a journey and I have
faith my own king will show up at the appointed time.
*Subjects name has been changed.
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* Use together to ght germs, fortify enamel and improve gum health. Results improve with continued use.
** Below the gumline compared to an ordinary at trim toothbrush.
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3G to 4G.
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BEAT
THE
ENERGY
DRAIN
If your get-up-and-go
got up and left, you
may be sufering from
fatigue. Find out its
common causes and
how you can regain
the pep in your step
BY TRACY E. HOPKINS
HEALTHY &
HAPPY
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Fatigue that persists for six months and doesnt improve with rest is called
chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). Studies nd that CFS primarily afects women,
and in addition to extreme exhaustion, symptoms include muscle and joint
pain, memory problems, headaches and insomnia. Chronic fatigue may be the
epidemic of the twenty-rst century, says Harry.
Whether youre plagued by the occasional bout of lethargy or your condition
is more severe, read on to help determine the root cause and nd out what you
can do to get back on track.
7 FATIGUE CULPRITS
Youre anemic
The condition occurs when
your blood doesnt contain enough
red blood cells, which carry oxygen throughout the body. When the
amount of oxygen transported to the
heart, brain, muscles and other organs
is insufcient, it decreases the energy
available to these organs. We perceive
this as fatigue. Anemia is especially
common among women who menstruate, particularly those who have
heavy periods. Its causes include iron
and vitamin deciencies, chronic illness, cancer and sickle-cell disease.
Fatigue Rx: Simple blood tests can conrm if youre anemic. If you test positive,
Danielle Huf, a registered dietitian at
Monteore Medical Center in New York
City, recommends consuming iron-rich
foods such as liver, chicken, beef, sh,
beans, lentils, spinach, oatmeal and fortied breakfast cereals.Iron from animal
sources is better absorbed by the body
than iron derived from plants, says Huf.
You can assist the absorption of iron
in plant-based foods by pairing them
112 ESSENCE .COM AUGUST 2014
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HOW I GOT IT
TOGETHER AFTER
EVERYTHING
FELL APART
The death of a dream
can also signal a
new beginning. These
three women found
the strength to turn a
setback into a comeback
BY L aSHIEKA PURVIS HUNTER
ILLUSTRATION BY LULU
hallenges and transitions are not so much a part of life as they are the nature
of it. Most of us can cope with minor disappointmentsthe job interview
you just knew you nailed that doesnt result in an offer, or the man who
goes from being a catch to a jerk in the span of a few dates. But when a major blow
comes out of left field, it can turn your life upside down and rattle you to the core.
The question is, how do you handle it? Do you fall apart, give up and let the situation wreak havoc on your life? Or do you brush yourself off and find the courage
and faith to move on?
Some people go through hard times, become angry and bitter as a result and
stay stuck in that bad place, says Monica T. Campbell, Ph.D., a psychologist in Philadelphia who specializes in depression, anxiety and stress management. Others get
through hard times and look at it as an example of their strength, or they believe
that God has seen them through. Both can feel really good and afrming.
Meet three women who found themselves facing life-altering situations but were
able to summon the strength to start over and lead even more fullling lives: w
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I GAVE UP ON LOVE
Taryn King, 37, started dating Mark* in
1998 and fell in love hard. For the next
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FOOD ST YLIST, SUSAN OT TAVIANO/HALLE Y RESOU RCES . PROP ST YLIST, LIN DA KEIL /HALLE Y RESOU RCES .
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SUMMER
ENTERTAINING
SIMPLIFIED
BY SHARON BOONE
PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATE SEARS
LIFE
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COINTREAU
RICKEY BAR
Cocktail and spirits expert Kyle Ford
says your friends will toast you all night
when you let them play mixologist at
your foolproof drinks center. Along with
the arrangement shown below, lay out
a 2-ounce measuring cup or jigger, a
wooden spoon or muddler, and the recipe
for a Basic Rickey. Instruct guests to put a
few of their fave berries and an herb sprig
in a glass, and crush them gently with the
spoon or muddler. Add ice, 2 ounces of
Cointreau and 1 ounce of lime juice, and
top with seltzer. Stir lightly and enjoy.
BASIC RICKEY
2 ounces Cointreau
1 ounce fresh lime juice
34 ounces seltzer w
HONEY MUSTARD
RANCH
DC MUMBO
4 cup mayo
2 cup buttermilk
1
2 teaspoon white
pepper
2 tablespoons chopped
parsley
1 tablespoon grated
Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon onion
powder
1 tablespoon garlic
powder
Dash Tabasco
3
1
1
1
1
3
3
cup ketchup
cup sugar
tablespoon paprika
tablespoons water
tablespoons Franks
RedHot sauce
4 tablespoons distilled
white vinegar
Dash Tabasco
SAMBAL MAYO
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BEST BUYS
GRILL
BABY
This Char-Broil
tabletop grill
($18, Target)
is the perfect
size for picnics,
camping trips
and tailgating
events. Bonus: It
comes in brilliant
blue (left) and
vibrant pink.
CHILL
TEAS
Everyone will
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refreshing, allnatural Argo
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(about $35 for a
case of 12, available at Walmart
and argoteastore
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include Carolina
Honey, Mojitea
and Hibiscus
Tea Sangria,
and one serving
clocks in at 70
calories or less.
SUNDAE
FUNDAY
This make-your-own ice cream
sundae bar is a clever and fun
way to round out the meal, says
Baileys wife, pastry chef Tifany
MacIsaac. Provide at least two
but up to four diferent ice cream
avors, says MacIsaac. Start with
crowd-pleasing classics such
as vanilla and chocolate. Then
include one or two seasonal or
specialty avorslike sweet corn,
basil, ginger or peanut butter
that you nd at a specialty ice
cream shop, she says.
Next put together a toppings
station that includes sauces,
crumbled cookies, granola,
crushed nuts for texture, and
TABLET EXTRAS Get recipes
for more tasty toppings.
BOSS
SAUCES
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We love Sir
Kensingtons
all-natural Spicy
Brown Mustard,
Classic Ketchup
and Sriracha
Mayonnaise ($5
$6 each, available
at Whole Foods
and sirkensing
tons.com). Jojos
Sriracha Zinfandel Chili Sauce
($14, shop.ravens
woodwinery
.com) is infused
with Ravenswood
Zinfandel.
ADVERTISEMENT
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Visit essence.com/digitalaccess to
begin enjoying your FREE digital issue today!
Available on iPad, iPhone, Kindle Fire, NOOK, Google Play, Next Issue and on the
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Corporation in the United States and other countries. ESSENCE is a trademark of ESSENCE Communications Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries.
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LIFE : PARENTING
No Plans?
No Problem
Taking up a sport
helps your child
stay physically and
mentally active.
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TO A DV E R T I S E CO N TAC T 1 . 8 0 0 . 9 3 8 . 4 6 6 0
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WHERE TO BUY
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78
COVER
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TRUE BLUES
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NICHOL AS ROUTZEN
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ALL CLEAR
COLOR THEORY
DAMAGE CONTROL
maRLE Y k aTE
HER SONG
BUILDING A
BRIGHT FUTURE
Pages 7883: Dress*, Azede
Jean-Pierre, azedejean-pierre
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Mitchell Gold + Bob Wiliams,
$225 and $325, Washington, D.C.,
202-332-3433. Floral vase, gold
vase and decorative boxes*,
22
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Visit us at YouTube.com/OxiClean
Leo
July 23 to August 22
OVERVIEW A born leader and childrens advocate, youre the showman of the
zodiac. You like being center stage and are attracted to a career as an actor, a
teacher or a lawyer. Your contradictory nature has you roaring one minute and
purring the next. When a suitor catches your eye, youre totally there. But for
you, the chase is more intriguing than the capture. Generally, youre compatible with Aries, Libra, Sagittarius and Gemini. Your opposite, Aquarius,
continues to fascinate, but past the mind-blowing hookup, the long-term
connection remains elusive. THE YEAR AHEAD Committing to a healthier
lifestyle should be a priority, so taking me time is a must. THIS MONTH
LOVE: If long-standing issues cant be resolved, dont settle. Couples, listen
with your hearts. WORK: Your leadership skills may be called into question as ofce politics and favoritism collide. MONEY: When it comes to your
dough, slowing your roll is benecial. INSPIRATION: Your unpublicized good
deeds are greater in scope than those shouted from the rooftops.
Virgo
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August 23 to September 22
LOVE: Spontaneous combustion in
the lust cycle may be accidental or
contrived. WORK: Your eye for detail is
unmatched, but teamwork is essential.
MONEY: Finances and family are a
volatile mix. Seek professional advice
before the hole in your bank account
deepens. INSPIRATION: The unlikely
pairing of crisis and opportunity creates an avenue for success.
September 23 to October 22
LOVE: A hopeless romantic, you crave
an exciting courtship. WORK: Your
charm in the workplace is efective
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Scorpio
October 23 to November 21
LOVE: Your magnetism attracts who
you want, but dont confuse the sexy
one with your soul mate. WORK: If
colleagues dont see the big picture,
its the higher-ups job, not yours.
MONEY: Even a pay increase may
not match your present lifestyle.
INSPIRATION: The miracle of you is
draped in your protection, vision and
support of those who matter.
Y VE T TE CROCKER
Libra
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Sagitarius
november 22 to December 21
Love: Recapturing a lost amour is
nothing but a fantasy. Work: Your
employment options will align with
your passion. Money: Dont celebrate
a possible promotion by overspending. InspIratIon: Your distance
from the tried-and-true diminishes the
expectation of others.
Capricorn
December 22 to January 19
Love: If a potential beau is teachable,
the relationship can thrive. Work:
Watch how you approach those in
authority. Insubordination is a no-no.
Money: Sound judgment is vital for
starting a venture. InspIratIon:
Walls, real or imagined, keep you
isolated and imprisoned.
Aquarius
January 20 to February 18
Love: Concentrate on your needs
before those of your loved ones.
Work: Being conscientious can be
misconstrued as arrogance or aloofness. Money: Impulsive shopping
only lls the void temporarily.
InspIratIon: Choose optimism and
hope over pessimism and despair.
Pisces
February 19 to March 20
Love: Follow your instincts when it
comes to staying or going. Work:
Your mistrust of coworkers may be
valid. Money: Medical bills or school
loans should not break the bank if
there is a payment plan. Couples,
examine joint assets. InspIratIon:
Listen beyond the spoken words and
understand your power within.
Aries
March 21 to April 19
Love: Your single-minded pursuit of
romance keeps you from smelling the
roses. Couples, deal with kids concerns. Work: Your habit of holding
court could garner praise or annoy
supervisors. Money: Hire a pro to
monitor the budget and investments.
InspIratIon: Embracing the stillness renders thoughtful solutions.
Taurus
April 20 to May 20
Love: Arguments must be settled
calmly. Couples, cherish the nontraditional. Work: Networking is crucial.
Mingle, please. Money: With any
nancial transaction, read the ne print.
InspIratIon: A new spin on an old
tale can lend freshness and viability.
Gemini
May 21 to June 20
Love: If a long-term commitment
has you vacillating, go with your gut.
Work: Managers are paying attention to your skills as a communicator,
but make sure your actions match.
Money: Be patient and the rewards
will be worth the wait. InspIratIon:
Planting your seeds of experience
now will yield a bountiful harvest later.
Cancer
June 21 to July 22
Love: Friends with benets takes on
a new meaning. Couples, talk it out.
Work: Your keen business sense can
be parlayed into future solo projects.
Money: Partnership squabbles require
a neutral mediator. InspIratIon:
When others are hurting, your presence can do wonders.
PERSPECTIVE
WorldMags.net
Harris-Perrys
niece Christina
at preschool
graduation
Te declaration of
success is less important
than the meaning of it.
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INTRODUCING
WorldMags.net
TWIX BITES
Call
1-844-WHY-SO-LONG
TO FIND OUT WHY WE DIDNT COME
OUT WITH THESE YEARS AGO.
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STEP 1
COLOR
!
l
e
G
M
O
! Gel
At last
STEP 2
TOP COAT
!
e light
h
t
t
u
witho
no
light
needed
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