Too legit to Quit( thoughts on marriage )

We live in a day and age with so much changes .Humanity has never witnessed these very drastic
developments .Coming with these changes is the fast and speedy nature everything is.
Cars,achievements,education ,Information..success etc everything has caught the bug.
Be fast or move over. Gone are the days when a young man /woman out of school will look forward to a life
long career. Life long commitment to relationships ,family,friends and society.
Today,we hop from one job to the other,change locations ,friends ,places of worship with the speed of light
Marriage seems to have been submerged under this pressure.
In my different capacities both in the Secular and none secular I have witnessed the Very drastic changes
in our understanding and appraisal of the marriage institution. The rate of divorce is quite alarming. Though
I have only been married a few years my observations precede this .
The level of control the media has in this regard on the society can't be over emphasized .
Parties are now overwhelmed and the marital union is succumbing to such dictates .
The pressure of society dictates I must move fast.Make money.achieve ASAP else..
At times even the Pulpits stigmatizes me.. Sermons like.." U must get there" "uncommon speed " "How to
rise to the top" "You are more than this".. There and then..,I balk under these .
My pursuits disregard commitments to family and friends..,to values and most importantly to God! We take
up jobs ,business pursuits and career prospects that totally ignore catering for other basic needs .
Whilst not ignoring the sense of achievement which every human deserves irrespective of status,humanity
must not suffer from its humans. Many assume such success can guarantee solid relationships ,hence they
pursue..
Whilst on the " fast journey " they discover life really won't change . Nature recoils to its own.Things happen
slower than expected . It rebounds and hurts. We react. Enter marriage.
The pressure of work,demands of our cosmopolitan lifestyles overwhelm our homes.
We come home wounded by our daily drudgery .many times the" we "is We( the two parties , husband and
wife ) Our emotions are charged ,Expectations unmet.
We vent them out on our kin. It goes on and on.
Our commitments are drenched or should I say drowned under the flood of the fast nature of things. It then
breeds suspicion ,discontent ,dislikes,paranoia.. Infidelity ...,mistrust and total break down.
Because we are already on the fast lane. We resort to the speedy resolutions .
And subjected to society where new definitions are emerging
Cheating Instead of adultery Tact or wisdom or " I managed him " instead of lying
Slangs instead of obscenity . We respond . We quit under pressure. We don't value commitment .
Since we have built up sentiment around our selfishness .
It MUST be about us.
Gone are the days when the married will consider others..
God.
Family.
Society .
Children or even the spouse.
Now,its ME ,ME and ME.
The way we dump commitments and resume another is a show case of this and flash points of these
anomalies. The marriage institution must arise from these rubble. It's must move above the half hearted
commitments .
Marriages' fabrics is ( are)avowed loyalty and dogged resort to the vows of commitment.
It mustn't be laid prostrate by the economy , It mustn't be made to forcefully idolize the universal craze for
speed and lack of values .
We must wake up from the slumber prompted by media. Movies openly celebrate illicit sex.casual display
of intimacy without values of morals.
Jokes now can easily be woven around immorality and the comedian doesn't feel the heat of a reject of
society. The pulpits must reform .
The pressure of motivating for success comes with very undeniable epileptic seizures of values .
Crises and differences in marriage are inbuilt in the union . It's not novel
Hence scriptures teach two fundamentals
Love and submit
Submit is never one way. its both ways.
Honor to God and others.
Patience . This means when issues arise be patient .
Don't ping it. Phone a friend .
Fifty Fifty. No.
It's not a game,
Marriage is a career.
Where you can't pre learn its skills.
They are only learnt when you are in.
Hence your true character comes to fore. No one is a good husband until he's married ,same as the wife
But patience,honor,loyalty ,love and respect are values,virtues.
Marriage will demand for it. Whilst not denying some intractable cases of abuse and total
dehumanization,Where alternatives must be resorted to,usually a case by case application of same,yet am
made bold to say most are not of this kind. We must see the institution as one which must honor God.
Honor others. When there's break down. We communicate.We resolve,
We patiently do it. The older generation learnt this. Hence values were preserved in more stable societies .
Rather than jump ship..,let your values be put to work,if u have none ,then go learn it ,
And decide, I am Too legit to quit !