Schools Project 27th October 2014

We started back on the oor on Wednesday with a fun and

energised warm up. It was so much fun to be back rehearsing
and about to start a new project, also I felt that the
togetherness we had as a company at the end of 'Ways of
Seeing' has been carried through and is getting stronger,
which is fabulous! To get our bodies warm we practiced our
dancing ready for the next session with Vicky and did some
corner work to work on our leaps. Then we played some fun
games " cut the cake, I'm a gnome and babooshka, which we
haven't done in so long. We've nally got the fun back in the
company and after a few weeks where things felt stressful and
heavy, I feel we're now back on track with making rehearsals
enjoyable and lled with laughter.
1 My Journey
Games of the week:
" Name ball game
" Zip, Zap, Boing
" I'm a gnome
" Babooshka
" Celebrity name game
Strengths:
" Playfulness " This has been
an individual and a company
strength this week because
we've played so much and
have created fun work from
it, such as our dream
sequence. When we've
enjoyed ourselves creating
the work it turns out all the
better for it and rubs o# on
whoever's watching, so we
need to achieve this in our
schools project piece.
" Losing myself in the dreams
and nightmares workshop.
We haven't done something
like this in so long so it felt
great to go into my own
little world and create a
land in my imagination.
ON OUR WAY TO
NEW ADVENTURES
Credited Google Images
Credited Google Images
Schools Project 27th October 2014
Carleigh's neutral workshop was quite the revelation as I found
out that my view of what neutral was is very di#erent to what it
actually is. I think throughout our two years, we've always seen
getting into neutral as relaxing the body ready to start, when it's
really not a relaxed position at all, but it's economical because no
energy is wasted unnecessarily. Feet should be hip width apart and
parallel, pelvis tucked under, back hipbone in line with the heels,
slight tension in back to support chest and breathing, bring
shoulder blades down to widen chest, don't bring tension to the
chest, head extended up from the back of head and face relaxed
but alert. Hands relaxed and arms rested by sides not in front or
behind. These are my notes on how to get into neutral and it made
me realise just how 'unneutrally' I was standing before. I'd seen it
as just having my feet hip width apart and arms by my sides, which
is easy to do and the reason why it didn't make me feel as ready
and alert as the correct position does, because when it's easy to do
it becomes complacent and too relaxed to stay fully alert, whereas
in the proper neutral position it requires a lot more work and
concentration therefore I found it easier to keep my eyes looking
alert and alive and not going into a trance focus. We stood in the
position for a long time and after a while I began to feel sti# in my
back and my feet felt a bit numb, which Carleigh said was normal
because we'd been there for a while, so I don't think that it is a
good position to hold as I then wasn't ready to move and be on
the balls of my feet ready to go as the stillness in my body made it
go seize up. This makes me think that the whole thing of being in
neutral can be quite a contradiction because I also discovered that
being neutral is impossible " it requires complete stillness, which is
not humanly possible and also all of our neutrals are di#erent, so
we all bring our own personal touch to it in some way without
meaning to, therefore we're never absolutely neutral. As well as
this, we were talking a lot about impulses and as actors they're
very important " they keep the work fresh and exciting when we
go with our impulses, but in everyday life people tend to suppress
their impulses a lot. For example, if we feel threatened by
someone walking towards us, the natural impulse would be to run
the other way, but we usually tell ourselves to keep going it's
nothing. I understand that impulses are not always right and if we
always followed them in normal life it might not turn out for the
best, but as actors we have the freedom to explore and play, so I
believe it very important to follow impulses because it could lead
to so many discoveries. This is why I nd the whole neutral thing
strange sometimes because as actors we need impulses for
discoveries and to create exciting work, but then we're training
our bodies to ignore impulses to move and try and be as still as we
2 My Journey
Strengths continued:
" Enduring the pain in the
stretches. I was really proud
of myself because in the
cobra I didn't relax the
position once and in the
others I had done a couple
of times because the pain
was horrid, but it showed
me that the more positions
we did the more focused I
became, therefore I was
able to get through it.
Weaknesses:
" I wish I'd have had more
time to prepare for the
Beano reading as I don't feel
I reached my full potential
with the character or her
story. I think I felt panicked
that I didn't know the lines
o# by heart and had to rely
on the script, therefore I
rushed the words just to get
them out, when really I
should've relaxed because I
had the script with me, so I
wasn't going to not know
what I was saying, I
should've enjoyed the words
more.
Schools Project 27th October 2014
can. I appreciate that we're trying to create a blank canvas to build
on and that is very useful, but when we're using our neutral
position in a vocal or when playing a game I nd it's so controlled
and sti# that it's hard to be free and impulsive. Perhaps it's more
about getting rid of habits than eradicating physical impulses
when in neutral and I suppose the more we practice this the more
naturally all these new things about the position will come and I'll
improve my understanding of the importance of getting as close
to neutral as we can as actors.

Moving on to some yoga stretches we did a foot stretch, the
child's position, cobra and on all fours into standing. The main
message was 'breathe through the pain'! It denitely was about
endurance, strength and achievement, which I liked because it was
very painful at times, but I felt strong being able to get on with it,
focus and breathe through it. It did help in this to go into a trance
like focus because then I forgot about the pain, it's when I looked
around and saw other people su#ering and dgeting that it
reminded me that it hurt, so it really is best to keep quiet, man up
and get on with it! Only the strong survive! I feel it's good to train
the mind to endure things like this because as actors it's our job to
explore our emotions and at times dive into some that can be
di$cult to deal with, but it is what acting is about so we have to
3 My Journey
Credited Google Images
Weaknesses continued:
" Time is ying so fast and I
don't feel I'm getting anything
done. There is so much I've
been meaning to do, such as
my scrapbook, contact
schools, monologues etc. But
I just don't get time. I spend
so long on each piece of work
that I don't get to do all the
things I need to. I really must
speed up.
Action Plan:
" Master of the House
" Monologues
" Scrapbook
" Contact schools
Schools Project 27th October 2014
be able to power through and handle it.

The nal part of the workshop helped us to get to know each other better as a company. We've been
together for over two years and have been through so much that I feel they're the people who I know
best and they know me best, so it was strange when it dawned on me in this workshops that there are
little things I should know, but I don't and no matter how much I feel I know someone, there are
always many more things to discover. From the exercises we did I saw so many more details in my
company members that I haven't noticed before. The one where we studied each other's faces with
the person's eyes shut felt a bit invasive to be studying them so intently when they had their eyes shut
so didn't know who was looking, but I believe this shows we have a good trust in the company to be
able to let each other do this and notice the tinier details in us. I liked the massage one the best
because I'm not a fan of massages myself, they're not something I really enjoy, but I just found it so
interesting to not be able to see the person massaging me, which therefore made me really
concentrate on the feel of their hands and how much pressure they applied and if that suited their
personality. I found a big thing I was relying on was smell because I do have quite a strong sense of
smell and each individual has their own scent, which I recognise, bit it did help because, although I
wasn't downwind of it so couldn't fully pick up the scent, it helped me to rule out people who I know
really well and remember their scents to work out who it might be. I guessed right in that it was
Amber and I think it's because I'd held her hand in the 'I'm a gnome' game earlier in the day, so
recognised the feel of her hands.
The nal game was where someone went in the middle, Carleigh asked a question, such as what is
their eye colour and we'd have to pick a side of the room depending on the answer. An observation
most of us made from this was that we didn't trust what we know enough and being under pressure
made me doubt whether what I believed to be true was actually true. It was strange because all the
questions Carleigh asked we'd happened to have conversations about in the past few weeks. We played
a game in the pub where we had to say each other's eye colours to see who paid most attention, I'd
asked Connor the other day if he had any brothers or sisters and Erol had measure Lewis and Amber
4 My Journey
Credited Google Images
Schools Project 27th October 2014
to see who was tallest, so we all knew all of the answers, but I realised that sometimes I may ask a
question, but not fully take in the answer, which is bad, but I nd on occasions I can say things just to
make conversations, but I don't really listen to the response. As a company, there is so much more to
discover about each other and it's quite exciting to nd out more!
Our afternoon workshop with Innes was great fun! We began with a game we've played many times,
but this time with a twist. It was the ball game where it's thrown in pattern, but we did it whilst
walking the space. It's a great focus game and I feel we get now that being focused isn't about being
deadly serious and not moving an inch, but actually being able to have fun and laugh about the game
and stay concentrated on it, which is what we did. It kept us amused for ages and we didn't realise that
we'd been going for 15 minutes when Innes stopped us. I could've carried on it was such a fun game
and we developed it further in our warm up the next day by doing it without saying each other's
names, which really enhanced our spacial awareness and non verbal communication. This is something
I feel is developing as a company. We've now settled into this smaller company and are learning how to
work together e$ciently using each other's strengths to create the best work and this makes us much
more able to work as an ensemble and move together as a company. Thinking back to our rst day of
this year doing the skipping rope game where all of us had to jump under it at the same time, we were
a group of individuals then and hadn't yet formed a company, so I'd love to go back to this now and
note the di#erence.
The colours exercise we went on to do with Innes I found so useful because I've never done anything
like this before, using my body and emotions to embody a colour moving around the space. It was
amazing that the thought of a colour could spark so much from me. I found I had a whole story going
on for each one and I found that I wasn't a person in that story, but a 'thing' or a 'being' and the other
actors in the space became a part of my world. For example, 'yellow' made me feel so happy and I
imagined a big open eld with long grass on a sunny day, 'black' I felt quite mysterious and curious and
became a cat hunting a mouse in the dark. For some of the colours I acted on impulse and didn't even
think what I was doing, it just came to me, but for others it took me a moment to think before
something popped into my head, which to me shows that I have stronger connections with some
colours than others and some can instantly provoke emotions, but others I have to work out rst.
This I'm going to nd so helpful approaching monologues, because I feel it'll help me a lot if I put
di#erent colours to each section of the speech and see how it helps to draw the emotion out of me.

I really enjoyed working with Innes this week, as we did a great adventurous workshop on Thursday
where we went into our own worlds and traveled to a beach and then a mysterious forest whilst
working on dreams and nightmares. A workshop like this we haven't done for a while, but I just loved
creating and seeing my own land in my imagination and getting the chance to explore it. I found there
was so much colour and vibrancy in my beach because it was like a lone island and had the sea and the
sand, but also a jungle in the middle where there were beautiful exotic birds and fruits hanging from
the trees. I found that when I was at the beach I could picture it all very clearly and it was very
vibrant in my imagination, but I didn't really feel that much because it was all so peaceful and
compared to the next one in the forest there wasn't much at stake. In the forest however, I didn't have
as clear a vision of it and I feel it didn't create as many visuals in
my imagination, but more sounds and feelings. I felt I could feel
5 My Journey
Credited Google Images
Schools Project 27th October 2014
my environment much more, the wetness of the muddy ground, the chill in the air and the more
emotional feelings, such as the eeriness of not being able to see where I was going properly,
questioning whether the following owl was trying to help me or hurt me, the fear at the loud footsteps
getting closer and closer to where I was hiding. I felt that there was a lot at stake because I was trying
to hide from this shadowy gure approaching me until it snapped me awake and out of this world. I
did feel I experienced the contrast between dreams and nightmares " dreams being very peaceful and
almost trance like, whereas nightmares being more active and awake with a huge adventure taking
place.

Working as a company to create our own dream sequence was enormous fun. We discussed our own
dreams and nightmares and came up with the most common things that occur " the feeling of ying
and falling, used these as a starting point, along with a fear of being drowned and buried alive.
Our piece was very Peter Pan inspired, with ying to a magical land, sailing on a ship then a battle
between pirates and lost boys, a chase sequence, capture, drowning, being buried alive and then
waking up. It did ow from a dream into a nightmare, which was the brief. A big thing we got out of it
as a company was the feeling of complete play and euphoria at being inside this dream. Ideas owed
o# of each thing we did and I felt we all had absolute belief in what we were doing, we were so into
this dream that it did seem real. I feel the note we got from Innes about having neutral faces because
in dreams people's faces tend to have no expression made sense, but didn't allow all this fun and
excitement to pour out of us, because I could feel it inside and it wanted to come through in my face,
but I had to try and hold it back. I would love to revisit this and look more into creating individual
characters inside the piece, as it's a great base to begin our schools project.
Lastly this week we've been rehearsing for the Beano reading and radio recording. It felt so great to
get back to scene work and I just loved getting to try di#erent characters before they recast it. I've
always loved Mr Shepherd and Miss Tidmarsh, but I found when reading for her I didn't quite
connect as well as I thought I would and I struggled with her holding herself back all the time and
suppressing her feelings. I did have a lot more fun with the su#ragettes, so was delighted to be cast as
Ada because I think her bossiness is great and I empathise with the character having to keep
everything together when Bess and Edna are arguing. The rehearsal time was incredibly short, so I did
feel nervous on Sunday as I felt I owed it to the piece to do it justice and to tell it's story for one last
time was a big responsibility, but I love a challenge! I wasn't thrilled with my performance as i feel
6 My Journey
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Schools Project 27th October 2014
having the script hindered me and I didn't feel truly connected with the character. I would've loved to
have spent much more time going through the scenes and working out the subtext and intentions
behind everything she was saying, as I only had my memories of when I directed it and notes I gave,
so I didn't feel my portrayal of Ada was strong enough. I didn't feel I fully got across her story " there
was a lot more to be told. However, I thought overall the performance went well and we got a lovely
response from the audience who found the stories much clearer without the added fuss of the full
show and I thought the gags were clearer as there were a lot more laughs than I ever remember from
the rst time. It was interesting to do a stripped back performance and rely on just the words in the
script, it is after all the bible of any show and I enjoyed doing something di#erent to what I'm used to
and testing myself.
I've made a lot of discoveries this week and feel we have a lot of things to take into the schools project
to create a wonderful piece " I can't wait to start!

7 My Journey