All My Brawlers

All My Brawlers ~ by Shryver on GameFAQs
(Mario has just saved Peach from Bowser, again, and was taking a nap in his room in the Brawl Mansion,
which is a completely remodeled Smash Mansion, designed to accommodate the new Brawlers.
Suddenly, Samus, clad only in her Zero Suit, busts down the door)
Samus: Mario! Trouble!
(With an exclamation, Mario promptly tumbles out of bed. He slowly gets to his feet, rubbing the sleep
out of his eyes)
Mario: Samus, what's-a the deal? Why you gotta disturb my victory nap?
Samus: Victory nap? Oh, right, from beating Bowser again. Sorry. Listen, there's something wrong with
Roy. He isn't speaking right.
Mario: That's-a because he speaks Japanese. He never bothered to learn English before coming to the
Mansion. Something to do wi-
Samus: No, it's not Japanese. Marth says Roy's talking gibberish.
Mario(Raised eyebrow): Marth only knows Japanese, too, doesn't he? I guess he'd know if there was
something wrong. Where is-a Roy, right now?
Samus: He's already been taken to see the Doc. I had to come tell you about it, so I didn't hear the Doc's
prognosis. Whatever it is, I think it would be a good idea to cure him, soon.
Mario: Why? Do you think it's-a serious?
Samus: I can't be sure. We'd better get going.
(Mario nods, and follows Samus to the infirmary. Inside, they meet Doc, Marth, Kirby, and Roy, who sits
on the examination table, wearing just his tights. He's holding an ice-bag to his head.)
Mario: Doc, what's-a going on? Do we know how it happened? There are a lot of-a people who would be
upset if he didn't make it into Brawl.
Doc: Roy took a nasty bump on-a the head. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, but it seems like he hit
his head right where the language part of-a the brain is. Now, I'm-a no brain surgeon, so I'm not sure
what we can do. It looks like most of-a the rest of his brain is intact, but he'll be a little loopy for a few
days. In about a week, he'll probably have all his skills back. However - and, again, I'm-a no expert on the
brain - but... Roy may-a never be able to-a speak normally again.
(Kirby, Samus and Mario all gasp in horror, and the color drains from Marth's face. Roy just looks at
everyone with big, unknowing eyes.)
(Doc is walking alongside Marth and Roy, heading for the room the two young swordsmen share.)
Doc: Remember, Marth, the important thing is not to rush him. I have-a looked up disorders like Roy's,
and they all say to take it slow. My recommendation is to sit him down, once a night, and go over some
basics of-a your language. Use the objects in your room to help you, so he knows what each word refers
to. Do you understand?
(They arrive outside Marth's and Roy's room. Marth simply nods, and gives a thumbs-up. Then, he and
Roy walk in, leaving Doc outside.)
Doc (to himself): Oh, why couldn't I just tell them the truth? I'm a professional. I'm-a not supposed to
give my patients false hope. Poor Roy. If he's in there, somewhere, I... I just can't....
(Doc walks away, head down, sobbing quietly)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Kirby is sitting in Mario's office, looking at Mario across the big desk.)
Mario: Kirby... how can I put this? Kirby... just how were you involved in all this? If you saw what
happened, Doc might have a better chance at treating Roy.
Kirby:.........
Mario: Kirby, it's all right. If you think you're in trouble, you're not. You can speak without fear of
consequences.
Kirby: {I just happened to find Roy first, that's all.}
Mario: Kirby... I know that's not a-the truth. I saw your face when Doc told us about Roy. You were
there, weren't you? You saw a little more than you're-a telling me... didn't you?
Kirby:{I'm telling you the truth. I'm not involved like you think.}
(Suddenly, Mario slams his fist down on the desk, making the wood dent and splinter. Kirby jumps up,
and cowers back in his chair.)
Mario: DAMMIT KIRBY, ROY IS HURT! HOW CAN WE EXPECT HIM TO GET BETTER IF YOU DON'T TELL-A
THE TRUTH!?
(Kirby's eyes start clouding up. Suddenly, he bursts into tears.)
Kirby: {All right! I admit it! It was my fault! I was so stupid, and Roy got hurt because of it!}
(Kirby continues bawling great big tears. Mario sighs, lifts his fist out of the dent, walks around his desk,
and embraces Kirby.)
(Princess Zelda is in the library, browsing through the fantasy section for some late-night reading
material. She looks up to see Pit walking down the aisle to where she is.)
Zelda: Hello, Pit. Do you enjoy these stories, as well?
Pit: Sort of. I really read these because some of these books remind me of my own adventures.
Zelda: Truly? Could you show me one?
Pit: Well, there's this one here. (Picks out a book bound in worn leather) It's a story about a young lad
who has to save his homeland, which is a paradise, from a plague-like evil.
Zelda: Oh, that sounds fascinating! Is it truly like your own story?
Pit (smile): Oh, yes. As a matter of fact, it's entirely possible that this book is based off of my life.
Zelda: Wouldn't that be something?
Pit: Indeed.
(Silence.)
Pit: *cough* Say, Princess, would you, by any chance, like to hear my stories? Because, I think it would
be better than these books.
Zelda: Why, Pit, I'm surprised you asked! I just-

Pit: Ah, right, of course. I understand. Farewell, Princess.
(Pit turns to go, but stops when Zelda lays a hand on his shoulder.)
Zelda: Pit, I would be honored to hear your tales. I just know it will be wonderful.
Pit (blushing): Um, thank you. You know, while we're at it, er... Where I come from, I was a celebrated
chef, on top of being captain of the guard. If you don't mind... May I feed you?
Zelda: (Giggle) I think that would be delightful, Pit. I'll be outside your door at 8, tonight. Is that alright?
Pit (blushing harder): 8 o'clock, then. I'll be ready.
Zelda: Wonderful. (she grabs a book, heads down the aisle, turns a corner, and is gone.)
Pit: Hmm. 8 o'clock... (leaves library.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later that night, after dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Zelda: Oh, goodness, that was delicious. I'm afraid I ate too much. What is it you call this, Pit?
Pit: Generally, any food that is served to our royalty is referred to as "ambrosia."
Zelda: Ambrosia... I feel like a queen, all of a sudden.
Pit: Erh, well, you are a princess. I would think that you should eat this, all the time.
Zelda: No, not really. In Hryule, I now realize that we don't have much in the way of culinary arts. I wish I
could have this every day.
Pit: Well, it isn't that hard. If you like... I could make it that way.
Zelda: Would you? That would be so very kind of you.
Pit: Then it shall be so. Zelda, as long as I'm around, you'll never go hungry again.
Zelda: Wonderful..... Now, Pit... would you please tell me of your adventures? And don't leave out a
single detail.
Pit: Well, all right. (Leans back) It all began.... (proceeds to tell story)
(About a half-hour later)
Zelda: I'm sorry to interrupt, Pit, but I'm getting tired. I'd love to hear more of your story, though.
Pit: That's alright. If you'd like, you may lay on my bed, and rest, while I tell you more of my tale.
Zelda: Thank you. (lays on bed, and closes eyes) Pit.... would you join me, please, so I'm not lonely.
Pit: Of course, princess. (lays in bed next to her, and continues telling story, late into the night, and they
fall asleep in each other's arms)
(We find all the Brawlers gathered in the conference room. Mario is standing up at the head of the Great
Round Brawl Table.)
Mario: I'm-a glad to see everyone here on such short notice. Especially the Fox team, Mewtwo, and
Snake, who were all on a mission, and just got back.
(Mario starts pacing back and forth in front of them.)
Mario: The reason I called everyone here is-a because I have a very important announcement that will
effect every one of you, probably for a long time to come.
(General murmuring. Mario holds his hand up for silence.)
Mario: You see, the thing is... I realized something, recently. I have just rescued Princess Peach, again,
from-a the evil clutches of Bowser.
(Bowser, wearing a sling, covered in burn marks, and with bandages on his head and across his chest,
gives Mario the finger.)
Mario: That, and I'm sure you're all aware of Roy's condition. What I'm-a trying to say is.... I'm older than
I look. I'm over sixty years old, and.... I'm-a getting a little worn out. I simply can't keep up with the rest
of you, for much longer. So, I would like to say that... after Brawl, I'm-a retiring... from everything.
(The entire room erupts with shock and confusion. After a moment, Captain Falcon slams his palms on
the table, and stands up, bringing a silence to everyone else. He's breathing hard, and his face is shaking
with anger. There is a tense instant where only his shuddering breath could be heard.)
C. Falcon: You... you are... abandoning us?
(Some of the Brawlers look uncertainly at each other. A couple of the young ones look close to tears.)
C. Falcon: You're LEAVING US!?
(Captain Falcon suddenly cracks his neck loudly, startling Yoshi and Ness, sitting next to him. He glares at
Mario for another second, then storms out of the conference room. After a few awkward moments,
Mario clears his throat.)
Mario: Well... if that was his reaction, I can only guess what the rest of you are feeling. *sigh* I know, it
is-a not fair to do this to you, but I have my reasons, and I'm asking all of you to trust me. I have the
utmost confidence in all of you. Oh, and Peach-
(Peach, who had her eyes lowered, jerked up, and looked at Mario.)
Mario: -there's-a no need for you to worry about Bowser. We'll work something out, in the Mushroom
Kingdom. Now, if you will all excuse me, it's-a time for dinner, and I got a hankering for pasta.
(Mario leaves the conference room. All the other characters sit in stunned silence. Peach starts weeping,
and Luigi pulls her into a hug, crying along with her.)
Samus: Ahem.
(Everyone looks at Samus. She has her eyes closed, head tilted back.)
Samus: So, without Mario.... what are we going to do?
(Peach sobs louder.)
(Let's see how the Brawlers are dealing with the Mario's... announcement.)
(Marth and Roy are sitting in their room, armor off, going over basic Japanese to try to help Roy recover
his vocabulary) note: Anything in brackets, like these {}, is translated.
Marth: {Roy, this is your Sword of Seals. Sword of Seals. Can you say Sword of Seals?}
Roy: (gibberish)
Marth: {Roy, you have to try, please! When we go back to our world, you're going to have to be able to
speak.}
Roy: (more gibberish)
Marth: {Oh, I'm sorry, Roy. It's just, Mario was the guy that held everyone together, you know? When
there was a problem, he'd do his best to help solve it... he'd always listen to us tell our tales. Now that I
think about it... it's all because of him that we're all together.}
(Marth's eyes start clouding up)
Roy: (gibberish in a worried tone)
Marth: *sniff* {No, no. I'm fine. We'll figure something out. We have many bright friends. We'll be just
fine.}
(Suddenly, Roy holds Marth's face in his hands. Where tears were on Marth's face, Roy kisses him. Then,
he gently kisses Marth on his lips.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit and Zelda had finished eating, and Pit had continued recounting his tales to Zelda)
Pit: ... And that's when I raised my bow, and smote the serpent with my arrow.
Zelda: Wonderful! You're so heroic, Pit!
Pit: ....... Princess Zelda, there's something I want to ask you. It might be a bit private, but it's just been
bothering me since last night.
Zelda: What is it? You fed me many times, and told me your own adventures. Please, ask your question.
Pit: Well.... The thing is..... I haven't seen you with Link, except when you're taking on evil, together. Is
there something wrong between you two? I mean, it only makes sense to me that the two of you would
be a bit, I don't know, closer.
(Zelda drops her eyes and chews her lower lip. She curls one gloved hand on her lap, gripping her gown.)
Zelda: .......... He never pays me any attention. He's always so "busy" saving the day for other people. So,
one day, I turned into Sheik, and followed him on one of his adventures, and- (heavy breath)
Pit: I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried. If you'd like, I can continue my story, now.
Zelda: No, no, please. I have to speak out. (deep breath) I think it's time someone knew about this,
anyway. (deep breath) I followed him, and I saw him going to Lon Lon Ranch, where his horse, Epona, is
stabled. I thought he was just going riding, which was okay with me. However, I saw him... with a farm
hand! That young girl, Malon! I kept following him on these little "adventures," and I found out he's
having affairs with many women at once! Even Ruto, of the Zora people!
(Zelda breaks down and starts to cry. Pit hugs her close. She sobs on his shoulder.)
Zelda: He's such a jerk! I only wish... for someone... (sniffs and quiets down, and looks into Pit's eyes)...
to love me.
(They close in for a passionate kiss. Zelda reaches down, and feels Pit between his legs.)
Pit: Urk!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus is in her gun-ship, recording her logs for the day)
Samus: Mario gave us some horrible news... he announced today that after Brawl, he would be retiring,
possibly permanently. I can't really blame him. After all, he's been saving princesses, and facing certain
peril, for the vast majority of his life. It sounds a lot like my life, but, then again, he's doing everything
under his own strength. At least I have my Chozo armor to help me.
(Samus takes a sip of her chamomile)
Samus: I can't help but wonder just two things. What's Mario going to do? And... what are the rest of us
going to do? I suppose he could just have Luigi take over, for a while. I'm pretty sure he's younger, and
it's not like he sees a lot of action. He probably wouldn't be worn out.
(Sips chamomile)
Samus: On the other hand, Luigi wouldn't do very well, in the face of evil. I've fought him, a few times,
and he's the kind to get rattled, fairly easily. No, he wouldn't do. But, now that I think about it... I
wonder if the Mushroom Kingdom has any kind of military force? Surely, they wouldn't be so callous as
to send Mario out, all alone, to fight entire armies, all by himself.
(Samus presses a couple buttons on her control console)
Samus: Reminder for tomorrow. Suggest to Mario that he train the army of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Remind him that, eventually, there won't be anyone to carry on the Mario name, so they need a strong
military to help protect their kingdom.
(Samus taps a few more buttons, and resumes her log recording)
Samus: The other issue, of course, is what the other Brawlers are going to do. I can't believe I raised that
issue. Now, they're probably all going to look to me for leadership. I've never had experience with
leading people, in any way, ever. I've always been alone. Forever..... alone.
(Sips chamomile.)
Samus: Damn, this isn't something I'm good at. Bah, I'm getting myself worked up, when I should be
trying to get some sleep. Ah, well. I'll just leave it, for the night.
(Samus switches off recorder, powers down the ship, and heads back to the Mansion for some sleep.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Link is lying in bed with Saria at his side. Both are naked.)
Saria: Is something wrong, Link?
Link: Hmm? Oh, well, you know.... um... it's just that I always have to remind myself that you're actually
older than I am. I mean, I love you, but you're body just makes me think I'm doing something wrong.
Saria: ...... That's not all, is it? Something happened, didn't it? Something at the Brawl Mansion? I can
tell, you know. I know you.
Link: (sigh) Yeah, something happened. I don't want to talk about it, right now, though. It's not that big a
deal, it's just that the future of I and the other Brawlers has been changed, somewhat. We're probably
all going to deal with it, together, tomorrow. For now, though, I just want to enjoy being with you.
(They turn over into a "spoons" position, and fall asleep)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ness, Young Link, Pichu, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Kirby and the Ice Climbers are all in the room they share.
They are all good friends, so they had decided on saving room by just having large bunk beds in one big
room.)
Ness: Mario's going to be gone.
Y. Link: Yeah.
Pichu: Pichu, chu, pi pi, pichu pi.
Ness: What's that, Kirby?
Kirby: {He says that he's going to miss how Mario always scratched his head just right, the way no one
else could.)
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff.
Pikachu: Pika-chuuuu.
Ness: Kirby?
Kirby: {Jiggly agrees, and it sounds like Pikachu was talking about back-scratching, and tummy rubs. It's a
little hazy.}
Nana: I know I'm not the most attractive female here-
Pichu: PI-chuu.
(Pikachu, Jigglypuff and Kirby snort and start chuckling.)
Nana: What was that, Kirby?
Kirby: (cough) {Umm... it doesn't translate well. Sorry. You were saying?}
Nana: Right, well, it's just that Mario would take time to play with me. This one time, he let me freeze
him, then Popo and I chipped him out of the ice, and that ended up being the centerpiece to celebrate
the first Smash Mansion, for when we came together for Melee.
Y. Link: That was you guys? That was so cool. You two are good.
Popo: Thanks. We try.
Ness: You know, if you could perfect your technique, you won't have any problems... after Brawl is...
over. You know, IF we should... happen to... have to... go our separate ways.
(Somber silence.)
Nana: But, hey, there's still a whole month before we start Brawl! Why are we getting so down, now?
Y. Link: You're right! We shouldn't be sad. Certainly not yet! Tomorrow, we'll show everyone that we can
still enjoy our time together!
Pikachu: Pika-pi! Pikachu!
Kirby: {He said that it's settled. Tomorrow!}
Y. Link: Well, we ought to get to sleep, then! Good night, all.
Ness: Good night.
Popo/Nana: Good night.
Pichu: Chu!
Pikachu: Pika!
Jigglypuff: Puff!
(Jigglypuff sings them all to sleep, then falls asleep herself.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mewtwo is lounging in his favorite tree. He has foregone an actual room, since he believes he would be
stronger if he stays closer to nature. Ganondorf walks under the branch Mewtwo is on.) Note: Anything
in between the<> means psychic talk.
Mewtwo: <Ganondorf, it's late. Why are you not in your tower? Wait, I can tell. It's Mario, isn't it?>
Ganondorf: Mm. I will actually regret seeing him go. He may be old, but he's still very strong. It will be
hard to let go of such an opponent.
Mewtwo: <True. He is still strong. However, I could sense it in him. On the outside, he has quite a bit of
energy, but on the inside... he's slowing down. Pretty soon, it's going to have an impact on his physical
state. He probably sensed that in himself, and decided he'd had enough.>
(Ganondorf just nods. A quiet pervades for a while.)
Ganondorf: Well, there's no reason for anything to change, between us. When all this is over, would you
consider committing random evil deeds, with me?
(Mewtwo smiles at the moon)
Mewtwo: <It'd be an honor to work with such a great evil being, such as yourself.>
(More silence.)
Ganondorf: Mewtwo, there's something I'd like to ask you about. I felt something odd, earlier, right after
Mario told us of his retirement.
Mewtwo: <Does this by any chance have anything to do with Peach and Bowser?>
Ganondorf: Right. I'm pretty sure I felt something coming from those two, and it was different from the
shock the rest of us had. I saw the look on their faces, and it sure as hell wasn't shock.
Mewtwo: <You're right, they didn't seem surprised. At least, not completely. The problem is, Bowser has
a thick skull, and I only had a second to look in his mind before the feeling was gone. Also... I have a
policy against reading a woman's mind... I usually find things I'm not ready to encounter.>
Ganondorf: What? You have a problem with- No, never mind. Did you find anything, at all?
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: What, you think I can't handle it? I've felt all kinds of sorrow and pain, in my life. I don't
think there's anything I can't handle.
Mewtwo: (sigh) <Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you, though. I got a few mixed emotions, between the
two of them, that weren't disbelief. As near as I can place it... is felt like some kind of fear, some shame,
even guilt.>
Ganondorf: Fear? Shame? Guilt? (pause) You know what this means, right?
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: ..... You're right, I'm not sure if I wanted to know.
(More silence.)
Ganondorf: I think that's all I need. See you tomorrow for training?
Mewtwo: <I'll be there.>
(Mewtwo closes his eyes for sleep, and Ganondorf walks off to his tower.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Fox and Meta-Knight are sitting quietly at a pair of stations next to the pilot's seat on the Great Fox. In
the pilot's seat is Falco. Fox and Falco are giving MK a lift back to Pop-Star, so MK could pick up his
Halberd and get it ready for Brawl. All three are completely silent.)
All three: ............. (more silence)...
MK: So, what's Mario like? I've heard of him through Kirby, but I can't trust what he says, very much.
(Fox takes a deep breath, and glances at Falco. Falco indicates that Fox should take care of it.)
Fox: I don't think I've ever seen that guy do anything wrong, in every sense of the word. I've never seen
him be mean, not a single prank, or anything. Not only that, he also never messes up. Everything he
touches seems to go right. Except computers. (chuckle) Mario's a huge technophobe. I once put him in
an Arwing, and he was looking at me like I just betrayed him to all his friends, or something. I've never
seen someone so scared in my life.
Falco: I remember that. I swear, his mustache was standing on end when he landed. He actually kissed
the ground, he was so happy to be back down.
(Meta-Knight and Fox both chuckle quietly.)
Falco: Really, though... He's one of the finest men I've had the honor to fight beside. He's one hell of a
guy.
Fox: You know, Falco, when he actually leaves, we're going to have to give him a Team Fox farewell.
What do you say? I'll fight you for the light show.
Falco: I've won every light show fight for the past five years. I'm telling you, Fox, your blaster is just too
weak. I understand that you like the speed, but it's not nearly powerful enough to do you any real good.
MK: That's funny. I've won with a sword, no matter what kind of blaster I come up against. If it weren't
for Kirby literally being born to be a warrior, I wouldn't have a rival in this universe.
(Falco and Fox look at each other, grinning)
Fox: Care to put that to the test, MK? We can put the ship on auto-pilot, and go down to the training
area, if you want.
Falco: That is, if you're not a wuss who's going to back down.
MK: Gentlemen, I will write my name in your organs with my sword.
(They exit the bridge.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake, Luigi and Wario are sitting at a bar, drinking heavily. Wario is the most blasted of the three.)
Luigi: Whaat-a the hhhell is-a he thinkin'? Makin' me save-a the purncess? That's...-a just plain selfish is
what it is!
Snake (he can hold his liquor best): You know what sucks the most? I wanted to fight that bastard with
all my might. Now, I'm going to have to hold myself back, just because I know that this is the last time
he's doing anything. Hey, that's it! He's just afraid of gettin' the crap beat out of him, and this is a trick to
make us go easy on him! Well, it ain't workin' on this Brawler, nossir!
Wario (hanging from the ceiling): WEEEEEEE!!! I dind know my fingers couh curhl dat way!!! Hey!
Whozzup for a game of "make Wario drunker?!"
Snake: Doesn't he have an accent, normally?
Luigi: Him? Yeah. Weird things happen to him when he gets-a wasted.
Wario: HEY! I'MUHNOT WASHTED, YOU ARE!! Damn... Mario... I fin'ly get my ssshhhance to pum'l that
guhdy-guhdy, and he triesh to wimp out. COWURD, I BELLOW, COWURD!
Snake (lights up cigarrete): See? Wario agrees with me.
Luigi: Right now, Wario would agree with potted-a plant.
(Luigi suddenly bursts out in a fit of giggling. He downs another shot of tequila, and promptly blacks out.
Wario loses his grip on the ceiling, and lands on top of Luigi, and starts snoring.)
Snake: Guh. Everyone at the mansion would be pissed at me if I left them.

(Snake lifts Luigi over one shoulder, and tucks Wario under his other arm.)
Snake: Gah, why is Wario so damn fat? Well, at least Luigi isn't so bad. Oh... heh, heh. Potted plant.
You're a funny man, greeney.
(Snake walks out of the bar, carrying the snoring drunkards back to the mansion.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(DK and Yoshi are hanging out in an in-door jungle which serves as DK's room. Yoshi is running about in
the open stretches of land, and DK is swinging about in the trees.
Yoshi: {They all seem really upset by Mario leaving. I don't really understand. After all, if they really want
to, they can go see him any time they want.}
DK: {Yoshi, you live in the exact same world as him. You live close to Mario. The rest of us don't have
that advantage. Everyone is sad because they aren't sure if they'll ever be able to see him again.}
Yoshi: {That's the other thing I don't get. Mario is actually making it sound like he's going into hiding, or
something. You don't think he'd do that, do you, DK?}
(DK stops mid-swing, and hangs by one arm)
DK: ..... {I'm not sure. He seems really down about something else. Maybe he's sad because he feels that
he's useless, because he's so old, or something.}
Yoshi: {Wow, DK, you're really smart. How come?}
DK: {It probably has something to do with you not being very bright, now doesn't it?}
Yoshi: {I guess. I know I'm not that smart, but I'm really happy, and I have lots of smart friends. So, I'm
okay, right?
(DK pauses again. This time, he climbs down, and stands in front of Yoshi.)
DK: {Sure, pal. You'll be fine.}
Yoshi: {Hooray!}
(Yoshi starts Egg Rolling up and down a strip of land. DK goes back to swinging around in the trees.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time (gettin' to the end, folks.) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mr. Game and Watch is sitting in his home in 2D world, enjoying a night of quiet.) Note: Private thought
is signified by these +.
G&W (sips cocoa): +What a day... I don't think things are every going to be the same, ever. Of course,
I've got at least 10 years on Mario... but, then again, I don't age, at all.+ (sips cocoa) +I guess there's
nothing I can really do, though. They don't understand my language at all. Even Mewtwo wouldn't be
able to communicate with me. My mind is on a level they simply aren't familiar enough with. It's a
shame, really.+ (sips cocoa) +Ah, well. It'll be an even bigger day, tomorrow. I should get ready. I only
hope the rest of us can think of what to do, with Mario gone.+
(G&W drains his cocoa, throws the mug against a wall, and goes to bed.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Captain Falcon is racing around Big Blue, on his home-world. He's all alone, and traveling down the road
at top-speed. His breathing is agitated, and his face is twisted like he is growling.)
Falcon: That arrogant BASTARD!! Just like that. After so much. After we have ALL been through so much.
Just like that! He leaves!? How dare he.... how dare he.... HOW DARE HE LEAVE!!!
(Suddenly, Falcon goes off a jump... but misses a tricky landing. He careens out of control, into a building
in the city below. There's a large explosion.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time (almost done, praise the Lord) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mario and Doc are sitting in the Doc's study. Mario has just told Doc about how Roy's accident came
about.)
Doc: Are you joking? That's how it-a happened? That's so... so...
Mario: Stupid and anti-climactic?
Doc: RIGHT! Roy is-a walking around with a big plate of food, Kirby steals it because he's-a hungry, Roy
gives chase, falls down some stairs, and lands on his head?
Mario: At least, that was Kirby's story. I'll check it against Roy's interpretation tomorrow. Hopefully, he'll
at least be able to physically describe what happened. How long did you say until he gets back all his
motor skills?
Doc: At least a week. However, you just brought up another-a point. I don't think you should ask him to
try to act out what happened, especially so soon. Such a request could trigger a post-traumatic stress
episode, and totally short-circuit his-a brain.
Mario: ......... I thought you were a physician.
Doc: I minored in psychology and-a phsysiology. I did my thesis for psychology on-a Tourette's
syndrome. Did you know that not only is the swearing thing true, though it's-a very rare, there's an even
rarer variant of the disorder that makes you make inappropriate gestures?
Mario: Hmm. I never-a knew that.
Doc: Nobody ever does. Damn movies only care about-a the swearing.
Mario: They're always like that. So, does Kirby's story help with Roy, at all?
Doc: I think it'll make things a bit easier, yes. If he took damage to other parts of his-a brain, they might
be affecting his speech indirectly. One part of the brain could swelling up, but otherwise, isn't damaged.
However, this-a swelling could certainly impact the other parts of-a the brain. I've been reading up since
you brought him in, and I think I might be able to treat him better, now.
Mario: Excellent. Well, I have a feeling that tomorrow is-a going to be huge. We'd better get some sleep.
See you in the morning.
Doc: Right. I'll keep studying a little more, though. I think I ran across something that could be
particularly helpful, but I have to take another look.
Mario: Every bit helps.
(Mario exits. Doc hangs his head low.)
Doc: Dammit. I've done it again. All these false hopes. I know it'd be better for them if I didn't-a sugar-
coat it. Why the hell can't I tell the truth?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Bowser and Peach are together in Bowser's Keep. Bowser is sitting in a throne-like chair, but Peach is
pacing back and forth, a look of fear, shame, and guilt written all over her face. Bowser also looks
worried, but is trying to remain calm. Peach is doing no such thing.)
Bowser: Peach, honey, you have to calm down. You can't think straight when you're panicking. How do
you think I've been beaten by Mario so many times? Every time I see that look in his eye, I get scared.
Peach: Dammit, Bowser, I can't calm down! This has been going on for years, and now look what it's
done to poor Mario! Oh, I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it!
Bowser: No, you didn't, dear-heart. None of us even considered Mario retiring. To be honest, I thought
he'd end up dying trying to save you from me.
Peach: AND NOW HE IS!! HE'S DYING, ALL BECAUSE WE COULDN'T STAY AWAY FROM EACH OTHER!!!
Oh, I've been such a fool, what was I thinking?! "Just keep kidnapping me," I said. "Mario will think
you're the evil one, he saves me, and that's that!" How could I have been so stupid?!
Bowser: Peach, don't beat yourself up for it, it was a brilliant plan, and it did work. Do you think Mario
would be in the shape he's in right now if he didn't have to save you every month? Hmm? If you ask me,
I think we did him a favor.
Peach: WELL OF COURSE, YOU THOUGHT THAT!! YOU'RE JUST A DUMB REPTILE!!
Bowser: Peach... I'm trying to be calm about this. Please, don't provoke me. You don't want things
ending up like they were in the beginning, do you?
Peach: .... (sigh).... I suppose you're right, dear. I'm sorry. You're a brilliant reptile.
Bowser: Damn straight. You know, I think it's a good thing that we did, you know? Who else can say they
were saving 20-something princesses into their 50's? His mind's as sharp as a tack, strong enough to
whup any ass, and doesn't look a day over 35. Now, he'll be able to live out the rest of his days telling
everyone about all his stories.
Peach: Well... I suppose. I still think we were the ones who drove him to this, though.
Bowser: Come now, sweetie, we talked about this, already. The alternatives were just too ugly to
consider. We would both become depressed, since our two kingdoms could never be one, and if we
tried to tell everyone what we think of each other, my people would revolt, and your people would have
a mass heart-attack!
Peach: I- I guess. No, you're right. Maybe what we did wasn't the right thing, but it was the best decision
we could have made. Oh, this is why I love you! You know just what to say to me.
Bowser: But that's not all you love about me, is it?
Peach (a very naughty look in her eyes): Oh, no! Don't tell me you're going to ravage me like the brute
you are? Anything but that, please!
(Peach and Bowser get kinky, and, well, you get the idea.)
All around, the Brawlers are dealing with their own pain, in their own way. Unfortunately, it isn't long
before they get more sad news.
(Pit and Zelda are laying in bed together, in each other's arms, naked as the day they were born.)
(Suddenly, Mewtwo busts in.)
Mewtwo: <Pit! Big news! Fal->
(Pit leaps out of bed, accidentally exposing himself and Zelda, but then trips on the covers, and falls onto
the floor.)
Pit: Mewtwo! What's going on?! What's (looks down at naked self, then at naked Zelda)...... oh, balls.
(Very awkward silence.)
Mewtwo: ......... 
Pit: (cough) Right, right. Of course (Starts pulling on toga.) So, uh, how's it going?
Mewtwo: <Aren't you forgetting something?>
Pit: Huh? OH!

(Pit gathers up and hands Zelda her clothes, then draws the curtain on his bed, giving her some privacy.)
Pit: Anyway, if you could just forget what you saw... you mentioned big news?
Mewtwo: <I'll never be able to get that image out of my head, thank you. Yes, there has been an
accident with Captain Falcon. He's at a hospital in Mute City. We're not sure of his condition, at the
moment. Doc is there, and he says he'll be back to tell us how he is a little after noon. For now, Mario
has instructed that we should all go about our business, until then, when he'll call us all together.>
Pit: All right. Sounds like a plan. And, um...... you are going to keep this thing secret, right?
Mewtwo: <Remember, I'm evil. Most likely, I'll just hold this piece of information, and blackmail you,
later. For now, though, you're secret is safe.>
(Mewtwo floats out of the room, laughing a quiet, evil laugh.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Wario and Luigi are sleeping, face down, on the floor in the Brawl rec room. Snake is over by an open
window, lighting up. Samus is practicing at the pool table.)
Wario: Ugghhh. Why does my head feel like got sat on by Bowser? What happened?
Luigi: Please, don't breathe so loud. I'm-a trying to keep-a my brain from exploding through my eyeballs.
Snake: Oh, you two are finally up. Did you both know that you're total lightweights when it comes to
drinking?
(Ness and Young Link walk in.)
Ness: Good morning, all!
Wario/Luigi: Uuurrgghhh!
Y. Link: What's with you two?
Snake: That's what happens when you don't go to bed on time. You're punished with big headaches.
Y. Link: Jeez! Ness, remind me to always go to bed on time, from now on, okay?
Ness: Yeah. I don't want to end up like those two.
(Y. Link and Ness walk out of the rec room, towards the mess hall.)
Samus: I didn't know you were good with children. I think you just scared them into never staying up
later ever again.
Snake: Hey, I may be a jerk, sometimes, but I don't want them growing up wrong. I would think you'd
know all about that.
(Samus twitches, and hops the cue-ball off the table. Wario and Luigi groan at the sound of the ball
hitting the floor.)
Samus: ...... Yeah... I guess you're right. (picks up the ball) It's good to see that all the young ones are
friends.... they'll need to support each other, as they grow..... (hits 3 balls into the pockets at once.)
Snake: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up bad memories.
Samus: No problem. I've been dealing with it all my life. I'm used to it.
(Silence)
Samus: Can I have one of your those?
Snake: I didn't know you smoked. (tosses her the pack and lighter)
Samus: I don't. Well, not regularly. Gives me time to calm down and think. (Samus lights up, and takes a
drag.)
Samus: Anyway.... what do you think we should do, without Mario? We can't just split up, after Brawl.
The newcomers are good company..... for the most part.
(Samus glances at Wario, who is vomiting into a garbage can.)
Snake: Hmm, right..... Maybe we should have a meeting, or something, within the next few days. Just
the Brawlers, no Mario. Hopefully, at least one of us will have a good idea, by then.
Samus: Oh, that reminds me, I've got to talk with Mario. I have a good idea for what he can do for the
Mushroom Kingdom.
Snake: Well, don't let me keep you here.
(Samus exits the room.)
(Mr. Game&Watch walks in.)
G&W: BEEP BEEP! (pulls out bell) CLANG-CLANG-CLANG-CLANG!!
Wario/Luigi: GRAAAAAHHH!!
G&W: ...... BEEP?
Snake: They're a little sensitive, if you know what I mean. I think they'd appreciate it if you weren't so....
here.
G&W: Beep.
(G&W exits the room.)
Snake: I can already tell..... this is going to be one long-ass day.
(Mewtwo floats into the room.)
Mewtwo: <Big news, everyone!>
Luigi: GAAHH!! THE EVIL-A VOICE IS EATING MY BRAIN!
(Luigi collapses.)
(Pit and Zelda are walking through the halls of the Brawl Mansion, on their way to the mess hall.)
Pit: Zelda, I really don't think you have to worry about anything. Mewtwo isn't evil enough to go around
spreading the truth about us. Besides, all I have to do is make him my friend... I could probably just feed
him some of my ambrosia, and he'll become more than a little sedate. (pause) I think the only person we
have to worry about is Link. I haven't seen him angry, but I imagine that's something I should be glad
about.
Zelda: Oh, don't worry about him. We have the moral high ground, here. Besides, it's not like he ever
really loved me, in the first place. Besides, if he even THINKS about getting angry...
Pit: Zelda, woah, settle.
Zelda: Oh, my. That was very unlike me, wasn't it? What I meant to say was that we don't have to worry
about him, either.
Pit: Well, then... why are we trying to hide our love? Everyone around here is intelligent enough that
they'd except us. They'd be surprised, sure, but I think they would all be fine with our relationship.
Zelda: Pit, I.... I just think we should maybe give it some time. It's never wise to rush into something like
this.
Pit: Mm. Point. All right. We'll wait a few weeks, to let our relationship develop. If it looks good, then
we'll tell everyone.
Zelda: Very good. For now, though, you're a good friend.
Pit: That's just fine with me.
(Pit and Zelda keep walking. Suddenly, Marth and Roy appear from around a corner.)
Zelda: Oh, hello, you two. How are you doing, Roy?
Pit: Erm... Zelda.... their hands.

(Zelda looks down, and notices that Marth and Roy are holding hands. Marth notices, and quickly pulls
his hand away, hiding it under his cape.)
Zelda: .......... Hm.
Pit: Yeah...... wow.
(Awkward silence)
Pit: ...... Well.... See you around, you two.
(Zelda and Pit walk quickly past them.)
Zelda: You know what we just saw, right? Marth.... and Roy...
Pit: Yeah.... This is new..... Suddenly, I'm feeling pretty good about our relationship.
Zelda: Indeed. Then again, they might have someone to go back to, on their world, that they would want
to keep this a secret from.
Pit: Yeah. It's not really bad, but... it's a little creepy, somehow.
Zelda: Because we're friends with them, and fight alongside them?
Pit: That's it. Well, no point in stalling. Shall we?
(Pit and Zelda continue on, towards the cafeteria.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(All the young ones have gathered in the mess hall. They're sitting at the large table made just for them.)
Ness: Is it just me, or does the cereal taste different?
Popo: It's not you. There's something funny with it.
(Peach walks by)
Peach: We got the low-sugar cereal. It's healthy!
(Peach walks away)
All the young ones: ...........
Kirby: {I've lost my appetite.}
Ness: Me too.
Y. Link: Yeah, me too.
Pichu: Pi-CHU.
Pikachu: Pi-kaaa
Jigglypuff: Jiggly!
(They all push away their cereal.)
Ness: Who's up for doughnuts?
All:
(Meanwhile, at the other side of the mess hall...)
DK: {I'm telling you, Yoshi, it's great up in the trees. Swinging around and around... that's what life's all
about, I tell you. When you're in a jungle, you forget all your troubles.}
Yoshi: {I don't know... I still prefer a wide-open space. I love running around. And when I do my Egg Roll,
I don't think there's anyone faster than me. It's really nice, having so much space to move.}
DK: {Whatever. Remember, I'm smarter than you, so I know what I'm talking about. Besides, you've
never even been in a tree.}
Yoshi: {Oh, come on. You know that's because I'm not built for any sort of climbing. Do you think I can
climb with these arms?}
DK (raised eyebrow): {Well.... I never thought of that. Maybe you're brighter than you think.}
Yoshi: {Nah. One time, I got hurt trying to climb a tree, and Mario told me that I'm just not meant to
climb trees. He's so nice. I think anyone else would have made me climb again, just so they could laugh
at me.}
DK: (cough) {I guess.... Hey, they set out the fruit. Wanna get some?}
Yoshi: {You bet!}
(Marth and Roy are in their room, waiting to be summoned to the Conference Room, so they could get
the news of Falcon's condition.)
Marth: {Roy, what are we going to do? I love you, I really do... but I'm not sure if I want everyone to
know about it, just yet. I know there's something going on between Pit and Zelda, it's just obvious, but
we're different. (sigh) Roy, do you even understand what I'm saying?}
Roy: (gibberish)
Marth: {Dammit, can't you give me some sort of sign?}
(Roy leans in, and kisses Marth lightly on the lips.)
Marth: {I guess that's something. Don't worry, Roy. I'll do everything in my power to get your speech
back. For now, though.... I think it's okay to just enjoy this.}
(Roy sits on Marth's lap and.... you get the idea.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake and Samus are in the rec room, having a round of pool.)
Snake: So, that's the story of your life? That's harsh.
Samus: Yeah, I suppose it's the kind of story that you only see in a soap opera.
Snake: ....... Yyyeeaahhh. (Snake sinks another ball.) You know, you're pretty good. But... (sinks yet
another ball.) I'm better.
Samus: (giggle) That's because I haven't started using my little tricks, yet.
Snake: Oh? Like what? (Lines up another shot.)
Samus: (drops pool cue) Oops! Dropped my stick! (Bends over in "that way" and picks up stick.)
Snake: Urk! (Completely misses.) That's evil!
Samus: Just because I fight the bad guys, doesn't mean I'm all good. My turn. (Lines up shot.) Now...
you're going to see how I earned money in my college years.
Snake: How much are you going to charge me? (Stupid grin.)
Samus: ...... (Skips the ball. It smacks into Snakes balls.)
Snake: Hurk! Why don't I have armor there? (Goes into that stance every guy does when they get it in
the junk.)
(Suddenly, the PA comes on.)
Doc (over PA): Hello everyone! I'd like everyone to gather in-a the conference room, please. I have the
condition of Captain Falcon, as well as another announcement.
Samus: ..... You know, I just realized that Mario and Doc sound exactly the same. So, how can we tell the
difference between the two?
Snake (still in that stance): Who knows... and who cares? Let's just go.
Samus: Damn, you're pretty sensitive there, aren't you?
Snake: I'll say you won this game if you shut up.
Samus: Deal.
(Samus and Snake head to the Conference Room.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are heading to the Conference Room.)
Mewtwo: <I'm getting the feeling that something big's going down. Something other than Falcon.>
Ganondorf: Of course something else is happening. He said that he has something else to say.
Mewtwo: <Yes... I know... that's what I mean. It isn't going to be small. They're going to have quite an
impact on many of us, possibly all of us.>
Ganondorf: Whatever. I'll listen to what these people have to say. You just keep your mind on the other
brawlers. You might get something. Pit seemed edgy when Zelda walked through the room, so make
sure you pay extra attention to them.
Mewtwo: Oh, believe me, I won't have to pay attention to them... I know.
Ganondorf: Oh? What are you hiding?
Mewtwo: Sorry. I'm waiting for a need to blackmail them. Don't worry, though. I have a sneaking
suspicion that they're going to make it obvious, soon enough.
Ganondorf: Mm. Whatever. Although, I'd like to have some ammo against Zelda, the next time I try to
take over the world. No problem, I'll just capture her and torture her. I've been practicing my singing
voice.
Mewtwo: You sing?
Ganondorf: No. That's what makes it torture.
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf evil laugh all the way to the Conference Room.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the Conference Room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(The brawlers are gathering in the Conference Room. It isn't until most of them walked in that the fact
that there are extra chairs became apparent. Within minutes, all the characters had arrived, with no
Falcon. Besides Falcon, there are 15 chairs empty.)
(Mario stands up and holds up his hand for silence. He gives a nod to Doc, then takes his seat.)
Doc: All right, now that everyone's here, I will tell you all about Captain-a Falcon. After that, Mario will
speak, and then, I have-a something else to say. (Pause) He's alive, but very bed-ridden. I can say with
much certainty that-a Captain Falcon will not be able to make it into Brawl.
(General "Oh, no"ing.)
Doc: Calm down, calm down. The physicians in Mute City and I have all agreed that Falcon will be back
on his feet in a little under a year. A witness told us that this is how it happened: Falcon was racing alone
along Big Blue at insane speeds, missed a landing, and hit a building in-a the city below. The size of the
explosion... well... let's-a just say Falcon is-a lucky he's alive. At the moment, that's all I can tell you.
Falcon is in a coma, and, to be honest, we don't know when... or if he'll wake up. I will let you all know
the instant I learn of any changes.
(Mario: Thank you, Doc. This is very tragic for all of us, but I'm sure that Falcon wouldn't want us to slow
down, just because of him. We must go on with Brawl. (Pause) So, I'd like to direct-a your attention to
the fifteen unnamed seats. I have been told that a total of fifteen more characters have been added to
our roster. I also know that of those fifteen, only two of them will come to us in-a the same way that
Snake came to us. One other character seemed questionable, but it was-a decided, in the end, that he
comes from our universe. I think you know him. I'd like-a to introduce the first newcomer to join us. My
fellow brawlers, give a warm Brawl welcome to... Geno!
(Geno busts down the door, and steps into the Conference Room. All the brawlers applaud. Geno walks
over next to Mario, crosses his arms, and nods at all of them.)
Geno: Thank you, thank you. It's very good to be on solid ground again. As Mario said before, what
universe I come from is questionable. However, it has been decided that, since I am directly involved
with Mario's world, I am of this universe. I look forward to being with you all. Also, I assure you that I will
try my hardest to whup all of you. Now, Mario, which of these seats is mine?
Mario: You shall be in-a the seat there, next to Pikachu. If you would, please?
(Geno sits next to Pikachu.)
Pikachu: Pi pika! Pika pikachu.
Geno: It's very nice to meet you as well, Pikachu.
Pikachu: Pikaaa?
Geno: I am a being of a higher plane of existence. My mind can comprehend things that most cannot. Of
course I can understand you. Hush, now. Doc is giving another announcement.
Pikachu: Pikaaa.... chu!
(Doc stands up and clears his throat.)
Doc: Now, I have another announcement, and this one will most likely affect all of you very much. I'd
like to first say that it's-a been a pleasure and an honor to work with all of you, and- (suddenly, a cell-
phone rings.) Oh! I'm-a so sorry. (Presses button on phone.) It's-a me! The Doctor! Yes? WHAT?! (all
jump in their seat) .... I see.... Very well..... Yes. I'll come immediately. (Closes phone) I'm so sorry,
everyone. It seems that Falcon is having some difficulties. I must go now.
Mario: Of course, Doc.
(Doc leaves the room)
Mario: Well.... Since it seems that no one else has anything else to say, I'd like-a to thank you all for
coming. Now, if you'll excuse me, I do believe I feel a craving for a pizza-burger coming on.
(Mario leaves the room.)
(Some of the brawlers get up to leave.)
Samus: Ahem!
(All turn their attention to Samus, and they all take their seats again.)
Samus: I think now is as good a time as any to discuss the question I'm sure we have all been thinking.
So, I'd like to ask all of you... What are we going to do without Mario?
Fox: Is there really any need for us to bring that up, so soon? I mean, we waited a month until after the
first Smash Brothers, before considering Melee. I think it's way too early to consider such an important
matter.
Samus: You're right. We did wait quite a while before talking about Melee. However, conditions are
different from so long ago. We're going to have many more characters on our roster than ever, to think
about. And, of course, there's the fact that we're going to be missing the administrative skills of Mario.
When he was in charge of things, everything was done right. However, without him around, we can't
waste any time, if we want our futures to be secure. Any questions?
(Silence. Then, Y. Link raises his hand.)
Y. Link: Miss Aran? Me and the guys think it would be a good idea to maybe think of a way to send off
Mario. Some of us might have to say good-bye forever, and if it's going to be that way, we want to give
him a big party to remember him.
(General nodding and agreement. Y. Link smiles, proud of himself, and taps his fist against Ness' fist.)
Ness (whispering to Y. Link): It worked! Now they'll never look down on us little ones again!
Samus: That's an excellent idea, boys. And, Fox, you're right. Perhaps it's still too early to be worrying
about something so far off. Very well. We will plan Mario's farewell celebration.
Popo: Not before lunch!
(Laughter and good cheer is had by all. They file out of the room, and head for the mess hall.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the mess hall. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake and Samus are sitting alone at a table.)
Snake: I thought you were going to wait a few days before you asked that question. (Takes a bit of his
sammich.)
Samus: It seemed like a good opportunity. Mario had left, and everyone else was all together. Besides, I
still think it's a good idea to not waste time. Who knows what's going to happen next? What if someone
else decides to leave? The more brains we have working on this issue, the better. (crunches salad, and
talks while chewing) Although, to tell you the truth, I'm glad Young Link interrupted when he did. To be
honest, I hadn't given a thought to what we're going to do with Mario. (eats another fork-full) And, as
I've probably told you already, I'm not really all that good with leadership. You know, because in every
single adventure.... I've been alone.
Snake (puts down sammich): Samus.... you handled yourself very well. I don't think Fox himself could've
done better, and he's really the only one who's had a lot of experience with many other people. Believe
me (puts a hand on hers).... you were great in there.
(Samus swallows her salad, and looks into his eyes. Snake lingers for a moment, then goes back to
eating.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are eating to recover their strength from morning training. Ganondorf chugs a
soda, leans back, and belches. Wario applauds him.)
Ganondorf: Heh. That Wario. He's an idiot, but he appreciates a good belch.
Mewtwo: <Feh. He's not nearly bad enough to be considered a villain. In fact, I don't see how he could
possibly be a challenge.>
Ganondorf: Yeah? Well, remember when Pikachu, Link, Kirby and Mario were all sparring out in the
middle of nowhere? That's when Pit and all them jumped into the scene, and Samus took off her armor.
I heard Wario crashed his motorcycle, and when everyone gathered around him, he let one rip that
would make me surrender. At least, that's what Link is saying. I don't buy it, myself. I'd just punch him in
the face, and send him flying before he knew what hit him.
Mewtwo: <Is it just me, or is everyone here at least a little insane? To even call that an attack. If
anything, that's just a mockery of all us real brawlers.>
Ganondorf: Yeah, I don't like him at all. That's why I'm looking forward to beating the holy hell out of
him. If nothing else, I hear he's funny as hell when he's drunk. Loses his accent, and everything. (wolfs
down a burger, and drinks more soda) Anyway, anything interesting from the meeting we all had?
(Mewtwo hovers a sammich and his soda in front of him)

Mewtwo: <I thought you'd never ask. (bites burger) Right before Doc had to leave, I got an emotion
something like what I got out of Peach and Bowser, yesterday. (sips soda) Except, it was more like what I
sense when I see someone apologizing. I think he's done something wrong, and wants to confess. (bites
burger) The thing is, when his phone rang, he started radiating relief like crazy. (sips soda) I think he
really doesn't want to say it, but it's like he's forcing himself to do it. Any idea what he might want to
hide?>
Ganondorf: (wolfs down another burger) Hmmmm...... My first guess is that.... he's protecting himself.
However, by protecting himself, he might be hurting others, which would explain why he's forcing
himself to confess. Is that close enough?
Mewtwo: (crams burger in his mouth) <Sounds about right. I guess that's all we can figure out, for now.
(chugs soda) Anyway, I was about to mention Samus, when she was talking, but I think it's being taken
care of.>
Ganondorf: How's that? What's up with her?
Mewtwo: <Check it out.>
(Mewtwo gestures at the table where Snake and Samus are sitting, where Snake has just put his hand on
Samus' hand.)
Ganondorf: Oh, good lord. Can't these people go two days without falling in love?
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: That's the other problem with these people. They just don't have a poker-face, you know? I
bet if I just stare at any of these people long enough, I can find out all their secrets, just by reading their
face.
Mewtwo: <Heh. Don't go looking at others like that. You aren't exactly perfect, yourself.>
Ganondorf: What are you saying? You think I can't hide what I feel? Don't make me have to go Ganon on
your ass.
Mewtwo: <Like you could hope to whup me under any conditions. Settle down. I understand. I have my
own secrets. The thing that sets me apart is that I've been created to have my emotions constantly
under control.>
Ganondorf: Hmph. (wolfs down another burger) Tell me, how is it that you eat so much, but you
constantly keep the same weight? I mean, I just have a high metabolism, what's your excuse?
Mewtwo: <You know how I rely mostly on my psychic powers? That energy has to come from
somewhere. My body was designed to have a very efficient metabolism, so I am often able to go long
stretches without having to fuel up.> (crams burger into mouth)
Ganondorf: Mm-hmm.
(Ganondorf wolfs down yet another burger, and belches again. Wario cheers, then belches louder.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(MK, Falco, Fox and Geno are sitting together.)
MK: Hey, Geno, how exactly are you involved with Mario?
Fox: Right. I never heard the story. What's up?
Geno: Well... (crunches taco) the short version of the story is this: My spirit possessed a doll because I
had to fix the mechanism that grants wishes in the Mushroom Kingdom, the thing that makes all good
things possible. I met Mario when looking for one of the major components, I thought he was a good
ally to have, and I went along with him.
Falco: Was it just the two of you?
Geno: Oh, no, there were others. (bites taco) The former princess, Toadstool, joined us. She had good
healing powers, which helped. Oh, and Bowser was apparently sent flying by an explosion, so he helped
us, so he could get his Keep back. There was this other fellow, Mallow. Strange character, who actually
ended up being a prince of his own kind. I heard some rumors about Mallow maybe becoming a brawler,
but I doubt it'll happen, since I'm already here. (bites taco) That's about it.
MK: Weird. How come none of us ever heard anything about this?
Geno: To be honest, I'm not sure. I'll have to ask Mario, or Bowser, at some point. (finishes taco)
Fox: ..... So, you're a puppet right now?
Geno: (sips soda) That's right. What of it?
Fox: Well....... how come you're eating?
Geno: (pause) ....... You know..... I'm not sure. As far as I can tell, I think my spirit is burning all the food
and such I put in, which converts it into energy..... or something like that.
(awkward silence)
Falco: (cough) I hear you have some powerful attacks. As soon as we're done here, you wanna show us?
Besides, you want to learn your way around this place as soon as you can, so you don't end up lost, and
accidently walk in on Samus when she's nude, and you're forced to hide in a dumpster for the next 12
hours.
(even more awkward silence)
Geno: ........... (eats fries) Sure...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit is staring a hole in the back of Link, who is seated across from Zelda.)
Link: So, anyway, like I said, all I was doing yesterday was making a sweep of the shops in all the regions,
so I wouldn't miss anything good. That's why I didn't come in until before that big meeting.
Zelda: Really? What did you find? Anything good?
Link: Well, I decided to replace my old Goron tunic. I was starting to really feel the heat when I went to
see the Big Goron at the top of Death Mountain. Oh, Saria says hi. She says that everything's still under
control in the Kokiri village area, and Ruto says that Hyrule Lake is especially nice at this time of year. We
should visit.
Zelda: Oh.... I suppose I should visit Hyrule, eventually....
Link (raised eyebrow): Is something wrong Zelda? You haven't touched your salad.
Zelda: Oh! Umm..... It's just a little bland. I think maybe the lettuce is a little old, perhaps.
Link: You can complain about that, you know. Say, do you ever get the feeling that you're being
watched?
(Link turns around. Pit quickly lowers his face, and shovels linguini into his mouth.)
Link: Hmm. Odd. I wonder what's up with Pit?
(Zelda suddenly coughs and chokes a bit.)
Link: Zelda! You need to be more careful with your food.
(Zelda gulps her bottled water, let's out a big breath, and just smiles at Link.)
Zelda: Yes...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mr. Game&Watch is just sitting in a chair, away from all the others.)
G&W: +Wow. I never knew there was so much going on between these people. Ganondorf and Mewtwo
are actually gossiping, Snake and Samus are clearly going to hook up... it looks like Pit and Zelda have
something between them, judging by the way they're acting around Link. And Marth and Roy... well,
who am I to judge? Then again, it's not like there are many females around here. Man, it sucks being
able to know all this, and not being able to do anything about it. It looks like I'm one of the few normal
ones. And Doc... what's going on with him? Sometimes, I almost regret being 2D. Then again, it's
impossible for anyone to read me, so I guess my own secret is safe...+
(Everyone goes on. Eventually, Samus stands up.)
Samus: Attention, everyone! I want to see everyone here back in the Conference Room at 4 o'clock,
sharp. We'll continue where we left off, then. That is all.
(Pit and Zelda are together in Zelda's room. Pit is pacing back and forth.)
Pit: Ugh, he lied right to your face! Twice! And he didn't even try that hard. Seriously, even Yoshi
would've been able to tell. It's just disgusting!
Zelda: Please, Pit, settle down! He only lies because he thinks it will protect me! He doesn't want to hurt
my feelings, that's all.
Pit: If he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, then why does he sleep around, huh? I know, first-hand,
that you're all the woman he would ever need!
Zelda: PIT! My lord!
(Pit suddenly stops)
Pit: Oh... oh... I'm sorry. I got carried away, I guess.
Zelda: It's all right, I understand. You don't want to see me get hurt, and that's why you're angry at Link.
Please, don't be.
Pit: Zelda, love, I just want you to understand that it's not your fault that he's doing what he's doing.
He's probably just some sicko-pervert. You said he was with a Zora, after all.
Zelda: I know, it's not my fault... The reason I don't want you mad at him... well, I want to be on good
terms with him. I mean, if something happens between him and me, he might not save Hyrule, the next
time something happens to it. He's a great hero, and if he needs to do this to stay happy, then it's worth
it.
Pit: (sigh) I guess. All right, I'll try to not hate him as much.
Zelda: Thank you, love.
(Pit and Zelda kiss)
Pit: Although, we really should think of a way to break the news to everyone. After all, Mewtwo might
actually decide to take advantage of his knowledge, and make us do something bad.
Zelda: Yeah, I guess you're right. Oh, well, I'm sure it can wait.
Pit: Oh, yes, definitely for later.

(Pit and Zelda proceed to make out.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno and all the young ones are gathered in the rec room, seated on a series of chairs and couches.)
Ness: No way. I don't believe it. This guy can't understand Pokemon. Only Kirby can!
Kirby: {Yeah, he's right!}
Pikachu: Pika, pikaCHU!
Y. Link: Kirby?
Geno (quickly): Pikachu just said, "I'm telling you, it's true!"
(Shock)
Popo: Kirby.... is he right?
Kirby: ...... {He's right.}
(Shock and awe)
Nana: So, can you do any other neat tricks?
Geno: Well, I do this thing where I turn my hands and arms into guns that shoot small stars.
All: Ooooooh!
Geno: Aaannd..... I do this thing where I turn into a big cannon, and shoot out a giant flash of energy. It's
cool because it hits a lot of enemies at once.
(More awe)
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff, jiggly?
Geno: Game&Watch? I'm sorry, which one is that?
Ness: Oh, he's this really cool 2D guy from a long time ago. He's even older than Mario, but he doesn't
age! He's the one that's completely black, and talkss with beeps.
Pichu: Pichu pi!
Geno: You know... I'm not sure if I can understand him. Do you by any chance know where he is, at this
moment?
Y. Link: We don't know where he is, right now, but I bet Mewtwo would know. He's psychic!
Ness: Hey, I'm psychic.
Y. Link: Yeah, but can you read minds?
Ness: Oh... right.
Geno: (cough) Um, where would I find Mewtwo?
Popo: Oh, he's probably in one of the training rooms with Ganondorf. You know, they pretend to be evil,
and all, but they're really good friends. I think they're just afraid people will find out they're big softies.
Geno: Thank you. If you'll be so kind as to point out the training rooms, I'll be on my way.
Nana: Sure. It's down that hall there, you take the last left, and then the second right. Just follow the
sounds of them destroying stuff, from there, and you'll find them.
Geno: Thank you.
(Geno exits the room.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Peach is once again pacing back and forth in Bowser's Keep. Bowser is once again sitting in his throne,
trying to calm down Peach.)
Bowser: Haven't we been through this before? You being frustrated, me trying to calm you down, and in
the end, you admit that I'm right. I'm pretty sure that's how it's going to end.
Peach (stops her pacing and glares at Bowser): Are you done?
Bowser: (sigh) Yes.
Peach (resumes pacing): Good. (sigh) I just can't do it. I can't get up in front of Mario, in front of
everyone, give a big speech, and not break down! (deep breath) I have to tell him!
Bowser: WHAT?!
Peach: You heard me! I can't let this go, just like that. To let this charade go on until he dies... I simply
cannot do that to him! I have to tell him!
Bowser: Are you insane, woman!? Have you any idea how much damage that could do to him? Do you
know what it could do to your reputation? No, I will not allow it!
Peach: Who are you to allow anything? Get out of my way, or I'll get Mario, Luigi, hell, I'll get everyone
to beat on you! I will do it!
Bowser: For god's sakes, Peach, slow down! Think about what might happen when you tell him! If you
tell him before Brawl, HE will go catatonic, and YOU will just become inconsolable. No, nothing good can
come of telling him. Not now.
Peach: Then what can I do? I'm so worried about him! He's been good to me for years, and I've done
nothing at all to repay him! I want to do something to ease his pain!
Bowser: Well... I can think of one way....
Peach: What's that?
Bowser: ...... Well.... Nah, that probably wouldn't be a good idea, after all.
Peach: Bowser, out with it. What was your idea?
Bowser: ....... You know that thing you do with your umbrella? He might like that.
Peach: ........ WHAT?!?!
Bowser: Well, I know I do.
Peach: Are you suggesting that I....?
Bowser: Well.... yeah.
(silence)
Peach: You were right. Not a good idea, at all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is standing just outside the door to a training room. Inside, he can see constant energy blasting,
Ganondorf pounding Mewtwo, and Mewtwo throwing Ganondorf with his psychic powers.)
Geno: ....... Maybe I should come back.
(Geno was just starting to walk away, when he runs into Marth and Roy.)
Geno: Oh, hello. You two must be Marth and Roy. I'm pleased to meet you.
Marth: {Geno! How do you do?}
Geno: Oh, that's right, you speak a different language. I'm sorry, I don't understand you.
Roy: (gibberish)
Geno: Odd.
Marth: {What's odd?}
Geno: It seems that you two are speaking different languages... but not really.
Marth: Huh? (Note: that simple sound is universal. That's why I didn't put it in brackets.)
Geno: It's like a garbled version of Japanese, I think. I'm not exactly sure. Does Roy understand what
others are saying?
Marth: {I can never tell.}
Geno: Uhh-hhuh..... Why don't you just nod and shake your head, for now?
Marth: (nod)
Geno: Excellent. Now, does he understand what others are saying?
Marth: (shrug)
Geno: I see. (to Roy) Do you understand what I'm saying right now? If you do, please nod your head.
Roy: (confuzzled look)
Geno: (sigh) ........ Do you know if he understands Japanese? Ask him what I just asked him.
Marth (to Roy): {Do you understand what I'm saying right now? If you do, please nod your head.}
Roy: (nod)
Marth: (gasp) {Roy.... you understand me?}
Roy: (nod)
Marth (to Geno): Domo origato! Domo! Domo!
Geno: Now, that I recognize. You're quite welcome. By the way, do you know where Mr. Game&Watch
might be? If you do (pulls out pen and paper from beneath his cape) would you please sketch how to get
to him?
(Marth takes the pen and paper, scribbles a bit, then hands it back.)
Geno: Domo. You two have fun.
(Marth and Roy walk off in one direction, and Geno walks off to find Game&Watch. Mewtwo and
Ganondorf and still beating on each other.)
(Samus and Snake are sitting together in Snake's airship.)

Samus: Why did I say that? I have no idea how to plan a party, or anything. I'm terrible at leading
people.
Snake: Come on, now. I told you before, you did great. After all, I'm guessing it was your first time. Why
do you keep insisting that your bad with people?
Samus: Because I've never known anyone for all my life. One of my first memories was Ridley killing my
parents. After that, with the Chozo, they took care of me, and trained me, but that was it. Even when I
was training with my own people, nobody tried to be friends with me. They thought I was some arrogant
whiner who only wanted attention. After that... I've been alone... for almost 10 years.
Snake: Ah, geez. That's.... awful.
(Samus glares at Snake.)
Samus: I heard that... what's with the tone? You don't care, do you?
Snake: No, no. I actually kind of know how you feel. Right now, all of my comrades... well, that's all they
are. Comrades. Nothing more. Oh, they'll save me if I'm in trouble. I know they'd do that. But the only
reason they do it is because they know I'm the person to put out on the front line, and if it isn't me, it's
them.
(Snake lights up and takes a long drag.)
Snake: I guess you could say that they're not really comrades. They're just more selfish bastards who
care more about their own hides than anything, or anybody else.
Samus: ..... I'm sorry. I didn't know. You know, not many people here know about your background.
Maybe that's why you've been so isolated.
Snake: Yeah. Trust issues, and all that. I'm just waiting for someone to come and stab me in the back.
Samus: You know.... they're really not like that. They're all good people. Even the evil characters aren't
as bad as they say they are. I could swear I heard Ganondorf laughing, and it was normal, jovial laugh.
(pause) They're all happy. They've got each other. It's really something to see.
(Snake lights up another cigarette, and hands it to Samus. She takes a drag, and breathes out the
smoke.)
Samus: But... none of them are my friends, either. They like each other, but I always find myself
excluded from them, somehow. I guess I'm on my own here, as well.
(silence)
Snake: You know.... if it helps... (puts a hand on Samus' hand) You can always count on me to have your
back. I'll always be your support.
(Samus looks into Snake's eyes. They come together...)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is standing outside the portal to the 2D world.)
Geno: I guess this is the place. If Mr. Game&Watch is anywhere, it'd be here.
(Geno takes a deep breath, and steps into the 2D world.)
Geno: Woah.... this is.... different. I wonder if Mr. Game&Watch felt this weird when he first stepped
into the 3D realm. It's like I can perceive everything around me, like in 3D... but at the same time, my
senses have been minimized. Totally unexpected.
G&W: Yeah, you get used to it.
Geno: Mr. Game&Watch? Is that you? Wait... how come I can understand you?
G&W: Nobody really knows this, but here in the 2D world, I'm pretty much the master of everything.
The only other person who knows this is the other Great Old One, Mario.
Geno: What are you talking about? If I can understand you, how come others can't, even when they're
inside the 2D realm? I would think they'd have told me that detail..... Wait, why did you call Mario a
Great Old One?
G&W: I'm one of the oldest true characters to exist in 2D. A status like that gives me some power. It's
true, I don't let others understand me. That's because they're more equipped to handle the 3D realm, so
they can't understand me, at all. You're different. Since you're a spirit from a different plain of existence,
you can comprehend my speech. Technically, it's on a much simpler level of intellect than everyone else,
but, at the same time, you could say that it's on a level far beyond anything they could comprehend.
(Mr. Game&Watch steps close to Geno)
G&W: Listen to me, Geno. There's a reason why I'm allowing you to comprehend my speech. I need
help, in the 3D realm, and you're the only one I can get to help me.
Geno: Wait, wait, wait. First, you still haven't answered my question about Mario. Second, why don't
you ask him for help, if he's as great as you? And, third, if you're omnipotent in the 2D realm, how come
none of the others have said anything about you being omnipotent whenever they fight you here?
G&W: (sigh) More questions? Fine. I suppose if I want your help, I should at least answer you.
(Mr. Game&Watch turns away)
G&W: You asked about Mario? Why I called him a Great Old One? Let me ask you this: Why is Mario
able to do things so perfectly, all the time? He's almost as old as I am. Not only that, but he's the first
one to truly step into 3D. That also gives him a certain amount of power. While it's not nearly as much as
I hold here, in the 2D world, his mind is far more powerful than anything I've ever seen, when he's in the
3D world.
Geno: So, just because Mario is one of the first to come into being, in both 2D and 3D, he has a great
amount of power?
G&W: I know. It doesn't seem to make sense, right away. But, if you think about it, isn't it always the
first that is the greatest? It's always the "ancient" evils that are the most diabolical, and it's always the
"ancient" heroes that are the most just.
(Mr. Game&Watch turns back.)
G&W: If you want to know the truth... he's weaker than he seems. It's only the powers that comes from
being a Great Old One that's kept him going for so long, through all his hardships. Except for his status,
he is still an ordinary, weak, human.
(Silence.)
Geno: Mr. Game&Watch... this is almost too much to take. I'm not entirely sure I can handle all this.
Perhaps I should go.
G&W: Not a chance, Geno. You must get a hold of yourself. You asked the questions, so you must hear
the answers. That is the way it works.
Geno: Fine, fine. Go on.
G&W: Thank you. I believe your next question was about why I don't just ask him for help? That one's a
little easier to answer. You see Geno, what I'm asking you to do can only be done by someone whose
mind is able to comprehend more than is normally possible, for a mere human. I would ask Mewtwo,
since he's also very powerful, but I'm not entirely sure I can trust him with this matter. It was really
sheer luck that you appeared. Also, I was just pondering how to contact you when you came here. This
brings me to Mario. Ah, but this is going to take me a while. Please, have a seat.
(Mr. Game&Watch sits down on a chair he created out of thin air. He creates another one behind Geno.
Geno also sits.)
G&W: The reason why I can't ask Mario to help me is because this directly involves Mario. If I go right to
him, he'll know something is up right away. He's got his heart pretty well set on retiring. I know it
doesn't look like it to the others, but I can tell that he's ready to settle down. The reason why I'm asking
you is because you're one of his best companions, and he trusts you very much.
Geno: So, wait, how come you're not asking Luigi, his brother? Or Peach, for that matter?
G&W: I'm sorry, but at this point, I can't tell you that, either. Listen, I can only answer your last question,
and then we must go.
Geno: What? Why? I came in here at 2:30, and it's only been maybe 20 minutes, tops.
G&W: That's the other thing about a 2D world: Time travels much quicker. We only have a few minutes
before we should head out for the meeting. Now, about your question, why I am not so powerful in the
2D fighting stage, the answer is actually very simple: You see, this is a true 2D realm. Here, I have all my
powers. However, the 2D world that we use to fight in was created out of 3D technology and machinery.
It is not true 2D, so I only have the power I have in the 3D realm.
(Mr. Game&Watch stands up. Geno quickly gets up, as well.)
G&W: Our time is up. I will be here, later. I await your answer then. If you accept, then I will tell you
what you must do. Come, we have to go.
(Mr. Game&Watch creates a portal to the 3D world, and he and Geno step through.)
(All the Brawlers, except Mario, have gathered once more in the Conference Room. Samus is standing at
the front with a large whiteboard.)
Samus: Are we all here? Excellent. We will now commence the planning of Mario's farewell celebration.
Before that, however, I'd like to ask G&W to stand guard at the entrance. If you see Mario coming, ring
your bell, because we obviously want to keep this a secret from him as long as possible.
(Mr. Game&Watch gets up and stands in the doorway, leaning up against the door frame, his bell at the
ready.)
Samus: Good. Now, I'd like to start with the basics, just so everyone is on the same page. First, when are
we going to hold the celebration?
Peach: We should have it a few days after the celebration to celebrate Brawl.
Samus: I see. Hands up, who agrees?
(18 hands go up.)
Samus: That's a majority. Unless those who disagree have a good reason, the official date will be 3 days
after the Brawl celebration.
(Geno raises his hand.)
Samus: Geno? On what day should we have the farewell celebration, and why?
Geno: I think we should push back the Brawl celebration, and have the farewell celebration earlier. The
reason why is because the farewell celebration is going to have a sad overtone to it, because we have to
see Mario go. So, if we have the Brawl celebration after the farewell celebration, we can end this on a
kind of lighter note.
Link: Hang on, who said anything about ending it after Brawl? Why can't we keep going? It isn't like
everything ends, just because Mario is gone.
(Over by the doorway, Game&Watch's head jerks in Link's direction.)

Link: Besides, isn't that what we were talking about, before my younger self brought this up? Weren't
we about to discuss how we would manage this place?
Samus: Link has a point, Geno. We never said this is going to end with Brawl. Anyway, that's something
we will discuss as Brawl gets closer. For now, we will focus on this.
Geno: Perhaps.... Very well, I change my vote to having the farewell celebration after the Brawl
celebration.
Samus: Alright. That makes 19 in favor of the celebration after the celebration. Any other objections.
(Silence)
Samus: It's settled, then.
(Samus writes "three days after Brawl celebration" on the whiteboard.)
Samus: Next order of business: Where will it be held? Keep in mind that we're going to have a total of 45
characters in one room at once.
(Silence. Then, Luigi raises his hand.)
Luigi: Would it-a be a big deal to have an addition to the mansion? Some kind of-a grand hall? We could
use it for the Brawl celebration, the farewell celebration, and for anything we do after-a Brawl.
(Silence again.)
Samus: Hmm..... does anyone here know what it would take to do that? The mansion was re-done in our
absence, after all. Does anyone know who we should contact for that?
(Deeaad silence)
Samus: Very well. It's a good idea Luigi. Follow up on that, try to get some information to see who can
build the addition.
(Samus writes "Grand Hall?" on the whiteboard.)
Samus: For now, we'll use that idea. We'll look for something else if it doesn't work out. Now, for the
next issue, the biggest one: What kind of celebration is it going to be? Snake, I believe you had an idea?
Snake: Yes. It's a fairly simple setup. It's one we've done in my group for years, now. Every time
someone of high status left, we held a banquet for them, honoring them. Some people would get up,
and give a speech to the guest of honor, in our case, Mario, and then we force our guest of honor to give
a speech. It goes into more detail, but that's pretty much all you need to know.
Samus: Duly noted, Snake. Does anyone have any other suggestions?
(More silence.)
Samus: Excellent. It's settled, then. In that case, the next issue is food. How are we going to feed 45
people?
(Silence. Then Pit raises his hand.)
Pit: I have some experience cooking for large crowds. Give me a few hours, I could do it.
Samus: Are you sure you can handle it?
Pit: Well, I have prepared banquets in honor of the goddess of Angel Land, on several occasions.
Samus: Really? (Looks at everyone else) Any objections?
(Silence)
Samus: It's settled, then.
(Samus writes "Pit=chef" on the whiteboard.)
Samus: Hmm.... what else is there? I think everything else can be easily taken care of, later...... Very well.
(Turns back to brawlers) I'd like to thank everyone for coming here. Thanks to all of you, this was shorter
and easier than I predicted. Luigi, I'd like to you try to get some contact information for the Great Hall.
Pit, I want you to start working on a menu. At least 4 courses, I think. Tell me what you'll need, and how
long you'll need to get everything prepared. Once you two get the information to me, I'll announce
when we hold our next meeting to plan the next step. Does anyone else have any concerns that need to
be addressed?
(Silence again)
Samus: So be it. Thank you, again. You're all dismissed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Afterwards, in Snake's airship ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus is sitting on Snake's lap, and Snake is hugging Samus.)
Samus: Was I really good in there? Be honest.
Snake: You were great. Everyone answered you promptly, nobody questioned you, at all... you know, I
think you could be a really great leader.
Samus: Really? You think? Nah. You're just saying that to get in my suit.
Snake: No, really, I mean it. Although... would that have gotten you out of your suit?
(Samus smacks Snake, then kisses him.)

Snake: In all seriousness, though, what you did in there is no small feat. You basically gave them all
hope, when they thought Super Smash Brothers was doomed. I don't think Mario himself could've
handled it better.
Samus: ...... All right, that one would've made me take my suit off.
Snake: Why didn't it?
Samus: Well.... It seems sudden, is all. I love you, I really do. It's just... I think we might be going a little
fast.
Snake: Heh. Don't worry, I know all about patience. If there's one thing you learn being a black ops one-
man army, it's that you have to take your sweet time with things. And I love you, and I will wait as long
as you need.
Samus: Thank you. Really.... it means so much to me to hear you say that.
(Samus and Snake starting making out again.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are going through the halls.)
Ganondorf: Is it just me, or are things slowly getting weirder around here?
Mewtwo: <No, it's not you. There's definitely something fishy going on here. Something big, too. I just
can't quite put my finger on it.>
Ganondorf: You know what I did notice? All of this started happening when Mario announced his
retirement. It's like those 5 seconds just triggered everything that's going on around here.
Mewtwo: <Now that you mention it, that's exactly what's happening. It's almost like that's some central
issue to a big drama story.>
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo stop at the same time.)
Ganondorf/Mewtwo: .......... Nah.
(They continue on. Suddenly, they run into Marth, Roy, Geno and Meta-Knight.)
Ganondorf: Oh, look. It's the "best friends" and the puppet.
Mewtwo: <Have you ever noticed how Marth and Roy are never seen apart? Isn't that weird?>
Geno: Say, Meta-Knight, have you noticed the exact same thing about Ganondorf and Mewtwo?
(Silence)
Meta-Knight: Owned.
(Marth, Roy, Geno and Meta-Knight continue on their way. Ganondorf and Mewtwo just stand there,
dumbfounded.)
Ganondorf: ...... Well.... I don't know about you, but in the Gerudo Valley, I have a harem of almost every
woman in the tribe. How about you?
Mewtwo: (cough) <Well..... I've never really had any kind of interest in that sort of stuff. I'm too busy
with... other things.>
Ganondorf: Uh... huh.
(Awkward silence.)
Ganondorf: Hey, I just remembered, I.... have something to attend to at my tower.... I'll see you in the
mess hall, later.
Mewtwo: <Yeah... and... I have meditation to do.... see ya.>
(They go off in separate directions.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit and Zelda are sitting in the rec room.)
Zelda: You're going to cook for everyone? Now I don't feel as special.
Pit: Oh, but you still are. For some reason, every time I cook for a large amount of people, the food isn't
nearly as good as when I cook for two. It'll still rock their minds, but it's not even close to what I can
really do. (Takes Zelda's hand in his own.) Zelda... I swear, right now, I will only give my best to you.
Zelda: Thank you, Pit. But, should you be doing this? A lot of people pass through here, and they might
see us like this.
Pit: So what if they do? Zelda, I've been thinking, and... I don't care at all if anyone finds out. No one is
going to get mad at us, and Link has no right at all to get mad, when you consider his little "secret."
Zelda: Pit... I wish it were that easy, but... I'm a princess. I could never be seen falling in love with
someone... like you. You're a fine warrior, and you're better than any prince, but I have my kingdom to
think about.
Pit: What about Link? Is he "good enough?"
Zelda: Pit, please! (sigh) No, I can't love him, either. He's a great hero, in Hyrule, but it's not possible for
it to work out between us, either.
Pit: So, what, you're supposed to marry some guy you don't even care for? Is that how it's supposed to
be? Zelda, I love you. But how can it work, if we can't even talk?
Zelda: Pit, don't you have your own world to worry about? What about your queen? What if another evil
strikes? You have to be there. Oh, that's our problem! We come from different worlds, and even though
we want to be together, we simply cannot leave our homes.
Pit: Then... what can we do?
Zelda: I.... I don't know.
(Suddenly, Link walks in)
Link: Hey, Zelda. I gotta-... what's going on here?
Pit: Link! Uh, er, that is... you see (cough) Zelda here was-
Zelda: I was just asking Pit if he really is as good a chef as he says.
Pit: That's right! I was just describing some of the dishes I make, getting her opinion. You know, for
Mario's farewell celebration!
Link: ...... Okay. Just make sure you get some fish in there. I really like a good whitetail.
Pit: Uh, sure. I'll take that into consideration.
Link: Anyway, Zelda, I gotta go back to Hyrule. Saria says that there's an uprising of moblins. I'll probably
be back some time late, tomorrow morning.
Zelda: All right. Be careful.
Link: No problem. I handled way bigger than them, before. This'll be a piece of cake.
(Link leaves. Zelda and Pit breathe a heavy sigh of relief.)
Pit: You know... if he's really dumb enough that he doesn't suspect anything, then we REALLY don't have
to worry about anything.
(Luigi is standing outside Mario's office.)
Luigi: Okay... I can do this. All I have to do is-a go in there, ask Mario who I call to get a great hall built,
and that's it. No problem. (deep breath) Okay, here I go!
(Luigi walks in.)
Mario: Luigi! How are you?
Luigi: Oh, I'm fine. You?

Mario: Not bad. I'm a little down that I have to leave you all. But I'm-a looking forward to relaxing for a
while.
Luigi: Oh, yes. We're all-a sad to see you go. But, we're trying to move on. Make-a the best of our time
together, and all.
Mario: That's-a good to hear. Was there something you needed?
Luigi: Yes, there is something. (cough) Mario, me and the others thought it'd be a good idea to have
some sort of great hall. You know, for our Brawl-a celebration, and for welcoming the newcomers in the
next Smash-a Brothers.
Mario: Hm, I see. That's a very good idea. I'll make a few calls. How big do you think we'll need it? (Mario
pulls out a notepad, and clicks a pen.)
Luigi: Um, well... I think it should be able to hold at least 50 people, counting some of-a the characters
that will be coming in for the next Smash-a Brothers.
(Mario scribbles a few notes.)
Mario: Anything else? Details?
Luigi: Um...... Oh! It should be connected to the kitchen! You know, for banquets, and-a such.
Mario (raised eyebrow): Banquets?
Luigi: Umm.... Well.... we want to make the ones not from our universe feel welcome, right? Besides, I
don't know about you, but after the Melee celebration, I had to run to the kitchen, I was-a so starving!
Mario: Right, right. Good thinking. (scribbles more notes) Hmm.... I think that should be good. I'll get in
touch with our contractors and-a get back to you. Is-a there anything else, while we're at it?
Luigi: Urr, that should be good. If-a you think of anything, go ahead and include that.
Mario: Okie-dokie! This is going to be great. I'll get right on it.
Luigi: Thanks, Mario.
(Luigi walks out of the room.)
Mario: Hmm... Sounds simple enough. Although, it'll take me more than a day to create all of this. I
wonder how I can get them all out of here for a while?
(Geno has returned to the 2D realm, to meet with Mr. Game&Watch.)
G&W: Ah, you're here. Excellent. I assume you've come to a decision?

Geno: That's right.
G&W: Now, before you give me your answer, I'd like to tell you what happens, depending on what you
tell me. If you turn me down, I will erase from your memory everything you've experienced in the 2D
realm. You'll forget everything, and you will feel like you've just walked in here for the first time.
Geno: Sounds a little drastic, don't you think?
G&W: Perhaps, but I don't want to risk you telling others my secret, if you don't commit yourself to this
task. But, that will only happen if you refuse. If, instead, you have decided to accept my offer, I'd like you
to know that it isn't exactly a difficult mission, it's just going to take you some time to get it done, if it's
to be done right. There will be a reward for you, and I will also tell you why it HAS to be you.
Geno: Why do I get the feeling that this is going to be harder than you're making it out to be?
G&W: Perhaps it will be, perhaps it won't. It's up to you, really.
Geno: Very well. (deep breath) I'll do it.
G&W: Fantastic.
(There's a momentary flash, then the light fades. Nothing has changed.)
Geno: What the hell was that?
G&W: Oh, that? I just gave you a bit of my power. You can affect this 2D realm with your will. Use it as
you see fit. Think of it as a reward for what you're about to do.
Geno: Well... I'm honored.
(Geno wills a big easy-chair into existence, and sits down.)
Geno: Not bad. Now, I believe you were going to tell me, finally, what it is I'm supposed to do about
Mario, and why I'm the only one who can do it.
G&W: That's right, I was.
(Mr. Game&Watch creates his own chair, and sits down.)
G&W: First, I'll tell you why I chose you, in particular, to do this task. (creates a mug of cocoa, and sips)
When I told you that I chose you because you're one of his closest comrades, you asked me why I didn't
choose Luigi or Peach.
Geno: I was there, remember? I know what I said.
G&W: Right. The reason I can't ask either of them is because they can't see very far beyond Mario's
condition, and his feelings. You don't have this problem. You can see past all that, and only consider
logic, fact and truth, not to mention the greater good. I suppose, if you want that shortened up, (sips
cocoa) you could say I chose you because you think with your mind, not with your heart.
Geno: Hmm... I see what you mean. Those regular humans are like that. Fine. So, what is it you need me
to do?
G&W: (sips cocoa) It's easier said than done, believe me. All I need you to do is make sure that Mario
stays here, after Brawl.
Geno: ...... That's it? What for? Why does Mario have to stay here?
G&W: ..... It's not as fun as people would think, being a deity in your own realm. There isn't much for me
to do, and I've been trying to amuse myself for the past 10 years, without much luck. Then, a few years
back, Mario pulled me into the 3D realm. At first, I missed my powers. When you're omnipotent for
almost all of your life, losing a great deal of your strength will do that to you. However, I soon forgot
about my strength when Mario told me about Melee. I have to admit... it was the most fun I had ever
had in my entire life. (sips cocoa)
Geno: ...... I can understand how you feel. It was the same when I first possessed this doll, to join Mario
on his adventures. But, what does all this have to do with Mario?
G&W: Do you remember when I called Mario a Great Old One? Well, it turns out that he has the same
powers as me, only his powers are in the 3D realm. How do you think this Mansion was done in a matter
of weeks? It would have taken at least a year if it were just some construction crew.
Geno: Woah, woah. You're saying that Mario... built all this?
G&W: Created, I think, would be a more accurate word. Much like you created that chair with your will,
Mario has the same power in the 3D world.
Geno: Huh.... So, let me guess... if Mario leaves with the intention of never coming back, this world
blinks out of existence?
G&W: Well, more like everything on this world. Mario isn't QUITE powerful enough to create a whole
planet. Besides, it would have taken him an entire year to do it, and he has to keep busy, you know?
Anyway, Mario existed in both worlds for a very long time, which is why his strength doesn't measure up
to mine.
Geno: I see. And, judging by your rambling before, you like the excitement of the 3D world, and Super
Smash Brothers is the only way you can experience it. Is that about right?
G&W: Perceptive. That's another reason why I chose you over everyone else.
Geno: Well, I share your sentiment. I haven't worked with Mario in a very long time, and I kind of doubt
I'll be able to, again. I'd be glad to do this. In fact... I think this might be easier than I first thought.
G&W: Excellent. I'm glad to hear it. Now, as you know, time is different, here. I believe it's about 9:00 in
the 3D world. You should get moving.
Geno: Right. And, don't worry. I'm sure I'll be able to get this done. I'll be seeing you around.
G&W: Right. I have every confidence in you.
(Geno creates a portal back to the 3D world, and steps through.)
Geno: Woah. There's that loss of power he was talking about. Eh, it's not that bad. Now, how the hell
am I going to convince Mario to stay?
(And so, Geno sets off through the hallways of the Brawl Mansion, with this problem weighing on his
mind.)
(Marth and Roy are in their room. It's approximately 10 at night.)
Marth: {Roy, we really-} (kiss) {have to work on-} (kiss) {helping you relearn-} (kiss) {your language.}
(more making out)
(Marth suddenly pulls away)
Marth: {Roy! What's with you? I love you, I really do, but we have to focus! You must relearn your
language, you just have to!}
(Roy looks into Marth's eyes. Suddenly, it looks like Roy is going to cry.)
Marth: {Roy..... Roy, please don't do this to me.}
(Roy starts sniffing. Tears are starting to well up.)
Marth: ......... {All right.... but I'm not going to let you do this to me, for long. None of this, tomorrow.
Got it?}
(Roy nods eagerly. Take a guess what happens next.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Luigi is standing outside Samus' gunship.)
Luigi: Samus? Samus, are you in there? I have news about the grand hall.
(Samus appears out of the top of her gunship.)
Samus: Luigi? Isn't it a little late? How come you didn't tell me earlier? I was just about to get to sleep.
Luigi: Ah, well, I was-a busy. Besides, you told me I should tell you as soon as I could.
Samus: Right, right. Well? What's the deal?

Luigi: I talked to Mario, and told him it's-a for Smash-a Brothers celebrations. He told me that he would
take care of everything. I don't-a think he suspects anything.
Samus: I see. That's good news. I'll spread it around, tomorrow. Now, we only have to wait for Pit.
Luigi: That's good to hear. Um, Samus? There's something else I'm-a wondering about.
Samus: What's that?
Luigi: When are we going to start talking about... what to do after-a Brawl?
Samus: (sigh) ...... I think... We'll start talking about that issue... I think about a week before Brawl. We
aren't going to be able to talk during Brawl, obviously. And I definitely want to use as much time as we
can, so it should be before Brawl.
Luigi: That sounds about right. So, I just wanted you to know that-a Mario will take care of the great hall.
Samus: Thank you. That's going to help me sleep. Good night, Luigi.
Luigi: Good-a night.
(Luigi leaves. Samus sinks back into her gunship. She sits at her console, and taps a few keys.)
Samus: Where was I? Oh, right. Snake and I have slowed down. I know we truly love each other, but I
just feel that we should take it a little slow, is all. After all, at the academy, I've seen lives be destroyed
because people have fallen in love. I can't remember how many women failed, just because they were
broken up over some guy. Right now, I can't really risk the same thing. All the other brawlers are looking
to me to keep them together, and I don't think I could do that if I'm heart-broken.
(Samus takes a sip, then looks into her cup. After a moment, she taps a few buttons on her console.)
Samus: Memo to self: Find out if chamomile is the best tea there is. Gather several kinds of tea, both
common and rare. (sips chamomile) Anyway... I finally told Mario my idea to help out the Mushroom
Kingdom, even if he's retired. He seemed to take it very well. He told me he'd never thought of such a
thing. Apparently, he had been planning on... shutting himself in. It's kind of sad, really. It's like he
doesn't want to remember his life. Maybe he needs some sort of therapy. His attitude can't be normal
for his age.
(Samus pauses to refill her cup.)
I can't help but wonder if there's something else going on, with Mario. I could swear he's got some
ulterior reason or his retirement that he's not letting on. (sips chamomile) But, perhaps I'm focusing on
Mario too much. After all, if I'm going to lead everyone, I have to pay attention to them, as well. Let's
see... I think I have to remember to keep an eye on Mewtwo and Ganondorf. Then again, they could be
useful as information centers. For some reason, they seem to know quite a bit. Come to think of it, I bet
I could instantly get on their good side by taking advantage of their information. In fact... (sips
chamomile) ... they could become downright amiable if I actually approach them for information, and
such. It's obvious that they aren't as evil as they want us to believe. ..... Yes.... I think this could work.
(Samus taps a few keys on her console, ending her log recording.)
Samus: Anway... I need to get to bed. I have a feeling that tomorrow isn't exactly going to be easier.
(The next morning, we find Ganondorf and Mewtwo are fueling up on grub after morning training.... just
like always.)
Mewtwo: (sucks down an over-easy egg) <So, what do you think about Samus taking charge?> (gulps
grape juice)
Ganondorf: (crunches a wad of bacon) Hell, she's better than almost everyone else. (slams a glass of
milk and refills it) I mean, she doesn't really have any experience as a leader, but she's doing pretty well.
(crunches another wad of bacon)
Mewtwo: (bites buttered toast) <Indeed. You wouldn't believe what emotions I picked up, yesterday.>
(eats the rest of toast, and slams a glass of milk)
Ganondorf: Try me. I'm gullible. (shovels scrambled eggs into his mouth)
Mewtwo: <Well, when I focused on Fox, one of the few characters really qualified to be any type of
leader, I actually got quite a bit of envy from him.> (sucks down another egg)
Ganondorf: Huh. That sounds about right. (chews another wad of bacon and talks around it) He's
probably upset that nobody questions her, even though he's the one who knows how to lead. I can't
help but wonder if he's going to let it get the better of him.
Mewtwo: <Nah. He seems a little too level-headed to do something so drastic.> (slams another glass of
grape juice) <Besides, if he does try something, I doubt the rest of the brawlers would follow him, and
might even defend Samus.> (pushes plates away and leans back) <Well, I think I'm good.>
Ganondorf: Would you defend her? If Fox tries to pull a coup, that is. (shovels more eggs into his mouth)
Mewtwo: <I'm not sure. I don't really need to have a leader, personally, but this mansion would
probably go to hell in a handbasket if these people didn't have a leader. If nothing else, these people are
pretty damn amusing, with their crazy antics. Eh, maybe if it looked like she really needed help. Other
than that, I'm staying back, and watching the fireworks. How about you?
Ganondorf: (slams one more glass of milk, and leans back) ‘Bout the same. Except, I think I'd step in a
little sooner. Not sure why, I just like her. Like you said, she's keeping the people here from losing all
sanity. That'd be funny as hell, sure, but it doesn't really say anything about the long-term, now does it?
I may be evil, and a little crazy, but I am not dumb.
Mewtwo: (standing up) <That makes sense. This place is amusing, and I could do this for a while.
Anyway, I gotta meditate, now. See you here for lunch.>
Ganondorf: (stands up as well): Yeah. See ya.

(Mewtwo heads outside, and Ganondorf heads toward his tower.)
(Ganondorf keeps walking. He rounds a corner, and sees Samus.)
Samus: Ah, Ganondorf! Just the guy I wanted to see. Where's Mewtwo?
Ganondorf: He's meditating. You won't be able to reach him for a few hours.
Samus: Hmm.... When are the two of you going to be near each other, next?
Ganondorf: We usually meet for lunch a little before noon, then go for more training. Why?
Samus: I have a request for the two of you. I think you'll like it. Say, do you know where Pit is? I hear he's
taking requests, for the banquet. I'd like to collaborate with him on the menu, so we can move on.
Ganondorf: (cough) I couldn't tell you where he is. Mewtwo has some secret about him, but he isn't
letting on. I'm afraid you're going to have to look for him the hard way.
Samus: Hmm. This is going to be a long day. I can feel it.
Ganondorf: Yeah... I could just swear that I'm missing something.... something important.
Samus: ..... Your attitude? You're unusually compliant. Let me guess: you just binged on bacon, while
gossiping with Mewtwo, right?
Ganondorf: ...... What was this request you had for us? I can pass it on to Mewtwo, later.
Samus: Not a chance. If I know you half as well as I think I do, you're going to twist my little request into
something you wouldn't agree to, just because I said the word "gossiping." I'll talk to you two later.
(Samus goes on her way.)
Ganondorf: ... +I don't have time to go after her. I gotta work on my speed training. I refuse to be the
slowest character again.+
(Ganondorf heads off to his tower.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, in a different part of the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Doc has finally returned, and is in Mario's office.)
Doc: It's-a very sad to say. I wish I didn't-a have to be the bearer of bad news. He-a really was a great
man to-a have around. However, there's-a no doubt about it. I just wish I didn't-a have to tell everyone.
It-a was hard enough telling-a you.
Mario: I see.... I'll-a call everyone-a together in a few hours, and I'll-a be the one to tell-a them. For now,
would-a you please give-a me the details? Last time I heard, he was-a going to make a full-a recovery.
Doc: All-a right. This is-a everything I know....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus is standing outside Pit's room.)
Samus: Pit? Are you in there? I'd like to see what you have, so far, for the banquet..... Pit?
(Some clattering is heard within. A moment later, Pit opens the door. His hair is ruffled, and his toga is
on awkwardly.)
Pit: Oh! Samus. I-I wasn't expecting you. (cough) At least, certainly not at this time. Listen, I was kind of
in the middle of something. It's, um... a ritual! To give thanks for our gifts, and to be forgiven for our
sins. (cough) So.... could you please come back in maybe a half-hour?
Samus: ........ You have the subtlety of Wario, Pit. I'm not going to ask questions, because I trust you're
bright enough to not do anything stupid. You have 10 minutes.
(Samus walks away. Pit closes the door, and looks in the corner.)
Pit: It's clear. You can breathe, now.
(Zelda lets out a big sigh of relief, goes to Pit, and kisses him.)
Zelda: Pit... we can't keep doing this. You know that. (kiss) Eventually, we have to (kiss) come up with
some sort of (kiss) solution.
Pit: I know, love. (kiss) However, (kiss) we have about 8 minutes yet, (kiss) before you have to be out of
here. Now, I'm not one to (kiss) brag, but I can definitely do it in that time. (kiss)
Zelda: Eight minutes? I'd like to see you try. (kiss)
Pit: I bet you would. (kiss)
Zelda: I'll be counting. Seven minutes, forty-five seconds. (kiss)
(It's almost time for the lunch rush. Samus is hanging out at her usual table, when Snake enters.)
Snake: Hey there, beautiful. How's everything going?
(Snake sits down near Samus. They kiss.)
Samus: Eh. Not bad, but not really good. I almost caught Pit doing something stupid.
Snake: Really? What was he doing?

Samus: I said "almost." I didn't actually see what he was doing. Doesn't matter. He has enough sense
that he isn't going to do anything dangerous.
Snake: Ah, well. What else is going on?
Samus: Well, I've noticed that Mewtwo and Ganondorf seem to be quite informed. I'm thinking of asking
them for their services. I know everyone trusts me, but it helps to know.
Snake: Samus, I'm hurt. You know that stealth is second nature to me. I could get any piece of
information they can. Not only that, but I can do it faster.
Samus: Sweetie, I know you're good, but you're no psychic. And, where Mewtwo goes, Ganondorf goes.
Snake: Isn't that weird? They're always together. (pause) Come to think of it, I've been seeing Marth and
Roy being pretty close. I could swear I saw Roy looking at Marth with "that look."
Samus: Which look is that?
(Snake does "that look." Samus bursts into giggles.)
Samus: Oh, my! Now, that's something I'm sure Mewtwo never noticed!
(The brawlers start pouring in as the lunchtime rush hit its peak. One of the last two to arrive are
Ganondorf and Mewtwo.)
Snake: There they are. You wanna just go up to them and ask them?
Samus: I think that's best. Ganondorf must've told Mewtwo to expect me. There's no need for subtlety.
(turns to Snake) Would you be so kind as to accompany me?
Snake: It'd be a pleasure.
(Samus and Snake get up and head for the table Ganondorf and Mewtwo are sitting at, just as the two
plunk down with their usual giant mounds of grub.)
Snake: Hey there, you two. (Pulls up a chair and sits down.)
Samus: I'm sure you two were expecting me. I hope you don't mind me bringing Snake into this. (Turns a
chair around, and straddles it.) Anyway, I'm guessing I don't have to build up to anything, so I'm going to
just ask you.
(Suddenly, the PA clicks on.)
Doc: Hello, everyone! I'm-a back, and I have-a some bad news. Please gather in-a the Conference Room
at-a 1:00. That's-a all.
(The PA clicks off. Everyone goes back to chowing down.)

Samus: Hmm. Anyway, this is what I need from you two: You seem to know most of what's going on
around here. Mewtwo, I know what your psychic powers can do, and Ganondorf, your perception and
deduction skills work very well with Mewtwo. So, I'd like to "hire" you two to get me whatever
information I need. That's it. And I'll need an answer before the meeting at 1:00. You know where we'll
be.
(Samus and Snake head back to their table.)
Samus: Well, that wasn't too bad.
Snake: Meh. I think I should've used some intimidation tactics on them. They would have given us an
answer right away.
Samus: I think if you tried to scare them-

Snake: Intimidate.
Samus: Right, intimidate. If you tried to "intimidate" them, they probably would've started beating on
you, and that's the last thing we need, right now.
Snake: Mm. Ah, well. What if they turn you down?
Samus: Then, by all means, make their lives a nightmare.
Snake: Have I recently told you how much I love you?
(Snake and Samus kiss, then they get up to grab food.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(DK and Yoshi are sitting at their usual table, chowing down mostly on fruits.)
DK: {Hey, Yoshi, do you eat just fruit? I don't think I've ever seen you eat meat.} (tosses two kiwis into his
big maw, and chews.)
Yoshi: {I eat meat. Every couple weeks, I eat a big steak, to help keep my muscles strong.} (crams four
different kinds of fruit in his mouth at once, and chews.)
DK: {Hm. How come only every couple weeks? You should try it more often. I hear bacon is really
delicious.}
Yoshi: {My friend Boshi says I have to hold back on meats, or else I might lose it. That's why I always
have my steak well done.}
DK: {Wait, you lose it? What's that mean?}
Yoshi: {I'm not sure. Boshi just says that I should be glad it's never happened to me. He says that one
time, he lost it, and he's been monitored since then. Whatever that means.} (shovels in more fruit.)
{That reminds me, it's almost time for my steak. I think I'll have one tonight.}
DK: ..........
Yoshi: {DK? Is something wrong?}
DK: ..... {No, sorry. Nothing's wrong, I think.} (slowly chews a heap of pineapple chunks.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back with Mewtwo and Ganondorf ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: What do you think? If she does end up becoming a leader to us, it'd certainly be smart to
make sure we're on her good side. (Scarfs burger.)
(Mewtwo hovers Mondo Gulp and two sandwiches in front of him.)
Mewtwo: <Agreed. We should take her up on her offer. However, we can't look too submissive. I think
we should do it, but only when certain conditions are met.> (Eats half of one sandwich, and sucks on
Mondo Gulp.) <Shows her that we are not to be taken lightly.> (crams the rest of the one sandwich into
his mouth, and sucks on Mondo Gulp.)
Ganondorf: Right, right. (Crunches a stack of chips.) What should our terms be? (Chomps burger.) I don't
know about you, but I'm going to make damn sure whoever gives us this food gives us better burgers.
And that's just for starters. (Eats the rest of the burger, and sucks on his own drink.) I'm'a make sure the
training rooms are made stronger. And some holographic training programs. Hell, Samus, Fox, Falco,
they probably have access to all that stuff. (Crunches another stack of chips.) You?
Mewtwo: <I'm with you on the food thing. I'm likin' the training room stuff, too.> (crams sammich into
his mouth, and takes another suck of his Mondo Gulp.) (crunches chips) ...... <What?>
Ganondorf: An arboretum? ...... You're hiding something. What's going on?
Mewtwo: <Nothing's going on.> (hovers two slices of cheesecake in front of him.) <Just because I hang
out with you, doesn't mean I don't appreciate nature.> (eats cheesecake)
Ganondorf: Uh-uh. There's definitely something wrong here. You may be able to hide your emotions,
but you're a bad liar. (Chomps burger.) You know, for someone who's just been meditating, you're
eating quite a bit. You've been active. Very active.
Mewtwo: <Of course. Then again, you might be paranoid.>
Ganondorf: Noope. No problem with that. It's you. You eat much more than normal, and you've been
spending a little too much time "meditating" in nature. In fact, I think I remember the change being
pretty sudden.
Mewtwo: <Your speaking grows irritating. Knock it off.>
Ganondorf: ....... I'm getting warmer. Now I just have to guess what your secret is.
(The pupils of Mewtwo's eyes glow with a dull purple shine. He slowly hovers a cheesecake in front of
him.)
Mewtwo: <No, really. Stop. No secret. Not hiding anything. Shut up. Now.>
Ganondorf: I know you, Mewtwo. You're acting like you still have it together, but any moment now,
you're going to lose it.
Mewtwo: <Dammit, Ganondorf, do I have to set you on fire? I can, you know. On a whim. Quickly.>
Ganondorf: Your eye is twitching. We both know that talking will make things easier for the both of us.
So, talk.
(Mewtwo's eyes suddenly flash dark purple, and the cheesecake in front of him is squished into a very
tiny, very dense ball.)
Mewtwo: <ALRIGHT! I'M IN LOVE! ARE YOU HAPPY??!>
(Everyone freezes. Ganondorf drops his burger, Marth spits out the soda he was drinking, Kirby's eyes
become as large as dinner plates, Luigi drops his spaghetti on the floor, Ness chokes on his cake, Pichu
and Pikachu spark a little, Meta-Knight, Fox and Falco all reflexively squeeze hard on their burgers,
making the filling shoot out, Pit's wings twitch violently, and Yoshi's mouth hangs open, the fruit he was
chewing spilling on the table. Every eye in the cafeteria turns toward Mewtwo.)
Mewtwo: ......... (The tiny ball of cheesecake suddenly bursts into dark psychic flames.) <WHAT!?>
(Slowly, everyone cleans up, and continues eating. Absolute silence prevails. Time passes. Eventually, it
gets close to 1:00, and all the brawlers, still without saying a word, head for the Conference Room. On
the way out, Ganondorf gets close to Samus, and whispers very quietly.)
Ganondorf: We accept your offer, for now. We'll give you our conditions later.
(Still without saying a word, all the Brawlers file into the Conference Room, where Doc and Mario
already are, and take their seats.)
Mario: ......... What's-a going on?
Mewtwo: <Just get on with it!> (Mewtwo closes his eyes.)
(Mario raises an eyebrow, but ignores it.)
Mario: Ohhhkie-dokie. Anyway, as you can see, Doc has-a returned from checking in on Captain Falcon.
I'm afraid he's taken a turn for the worse. We're not quite sure what caused his-a dramatic change, but
he appears to have stabilized, but he's very slow in recovering. At the moment, it doesn't look like
Captain Falcon is going to be able to ever be in Super Smash-a Brothers, again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ However, while Mario was talking, Mewtwo was hard at work. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mewtwo: +Ugh, that sucked so much. It is inexcusable for me to lose it like that. Well, I guess I can only
move on. Now, what are these people are feeling. Hmm...... well, I guess I can only describe it as
absolute dumbfoundedness. Figures. I'm going to have to concentrate more to get their individual-
Woah! Mario must've said something scary. That was a big spike. Let's see... felt like.... mostly shock...
there was definitely a lot of worry. Heh. The big idiot must be in trouble. ... This is strange... Oh, it's just
Geno. It makes sense that he would feel odd. This is the first time I've been able to feel his energy. ...
Strange. There's something not right about him. Damn, I can't put my finger on it. What's this? There's
another, similar signal.... Game & Watch!? Oh, of course. It's because they're both from an entirely
different plane of existence. Although, Game&Watch seems to... hmmm.... I don't like this. I should find
out more before trying to poke around in his head. I wouldn't want to get my psyche tangled with him.+
(Mewtwo opens his eyes, and looks over to see Geno and Game&Watch looking at him. Mewtwo's eyes
go wide.)
Mewtwo: +What the-!? How did they feel that? Oh, BALLS! Can they hear what I'm thinking? I have to
protect myself!+
(Mewtwo closes his eyes again. This time, he cast his mind in an iron barrier of sheer willpower.)
Mewtwo: +There's no way they're getting through this. Although, my mind is completely shut off from
the outside world. I really hope Ganondorf is paying attention, because I can't hear or feel diddly. Well, I
guess I just have to wait it out, until Ganondorf wakes me up. Oh, well. Until then, I can think of... her...+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ While Mewtwo is protecting his mind, Mario continues talking. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: Now, I know this comes as a great shock to all of you. But, like I said before, it's-a best to move
along, since, again, I know that Falcon, being as fast as he is, would never want us to slow down.
However, I still think that we should at-a least all visit him, to let him know that he is in our thoughts,
and always in our hearts. Doc, when did you say he would be able to see visitors?
Doc: To see all of us? ....... At his current rate of recovery, barring any incidents.... I think four days
should be sufficient.
Mario: Very well. Everyone, this is what's-a happening! In four days, be sure you don't have anything
scheduled, and pack your bags, because we're going to Mute-a City, to see Captain-a Falcon.
(General murmuring. Mario holds up a hand for silence.)
Mario: I know, I know. For many of us, this mansion has-a been our home away from home for a while,
now. Don't worry, we will only be away for a few days. So, remember: four days. Thank you all for your
time.
(Mario exits the Conference Room. As soon as Mario was out of sight, everyone turns to Samus. Samus
looks around her, sighs, stands up, and exits. Shortly after, the rest of the brawlers started filing out.)
Ganondorf: Oof. That was something. Listen, Mewtwo... I'm sorry for pressuring you like that, earlier.
Now, come on. We have to report to Samus, and get her to agree to our conditions. Come on.....
Mewtwo? What do you want me to do? It's already out in the open, you just have to live with it. ......
Mewtwo? Wait... you're not.... oh, man. I'm almost scared to find out what would make you withdraw
like that. Now... how do I snap you out of it?
Wario: Problems?
Ganondorf: WARIO! Don't do that! And no, there are no problems.
Wario: Hmm... looks like this guy withdrew to protect his mind.
Ganondorf: Listen, shrimp, I- what? What are you talking about?
Wario: When Mewtwo gets spooked by a mental power he's not ready to deal with, he completely shuts
out his mind to any outside dangers. Can't imagine what it was, though.
Ganondorf: How- How do you know this?
Wario: I may be annoying, smelly, unclean, and not that pleasant to be around, but I am not dumb.
Ganondorf: ..... Didn't you use to have an accent?
Wario: Didn't you use to be evil beyond comprehension?
Ganondorf: ...... Fine. Do you know what we can do about this?
Wario: No problem! We just have to give him a physical sensation of some sort. One that's really
strong..... Hmm.... Got it.
(Wario sticks his finger in his mouth, and pulls it out, dripping in drool.)
Ganondorf: I see what you're fixin' to do, but he doesn't have an ear.
Wario: I know. I'm going for a more sensitive spot.
Ganondorf: What are you- Oh, no. No way in hell.
Wario: What? I was just gonna- oh... OH! Good lord, no! No. I'm talking about his antenna-horns. These
are what he uses to sense movements from all around. Very, very sensitive.
Ganondorf: What are you talking about? Wait, how do you know this?
Wario: I know a lot more than you think, Ganondorf.
(Wario curls a finger around one of Mewtwo's antennae, takes a deep breath, and twists his wrist,
bending the antenna.)
Mewtwo: <GAH!>
(Mewtwo's eyes fly very wide open, his tail stiffens, and he starts pawing at the air.)
Mewtwo: <OKAY! STOP NOW! nnnNNGgH!>
(Wario withdraws the finger, and Mewtwo's antenna straightens out, again. Mewtwo falls forward,
gasping.)
Ganondorf: I can't believe that really worked. Maybe your not such a useless, fat little slob.
Wario: Not at all. If you want to find out anything about people, just remember who to go to.
Ganondorf: Of course.
(Wario exits.)
Ganondorf: Hey, Mewtwo. Are you in there?
Mewtwo: ........ <Ganondorf...... Ah, I'm fine. But... something doesn't quite seem right. I panicked, I
think.... No, everything's fine.>
Ganondorf: You sure? I don't think I've ever seen you withdraw like that.
Mewtwo: <Yes... yes, I'm sure. It won't be a problem.>
Ganondorf: Well, alright. Listen, I wanted to apologize for doing that to you, earlier. I didn't know you'd
do that. But, well..
Mewtwo: <No, it's fine. I thought about it, and it's okay. Besides, it's out, and there's nothing I can do
about it. Geez, it's not like I'm the only crazy one, around here.>
Ganondorf: Good to hear. Come on, we gotta report to Samus.
Mewtwo: <Right.... why does my head feel funny?>
Ganondorf: Uh, must be an after-effect of withdrawing.
Geno: I thought he couldn't read your mind!
G&W: He can't. However, there are things he could have found out, besides just my thoughts. Given
enough time, he could have fathomed the powers I hold.
Geno: Well? What are we going to do about him?
G&W: For now, I don't think he's a problem. Besides, our objective is still our main focus.
Geno: ...... There's something I've been wondering about, for some time, about that.
G&W: What's that?

Geno: Well..... I know you want to stay in the 3D world, because it's amusing. Believe me, I can
understand that. But.... is that the only reason? It sounds downright selfish, if you ask me.
G&W: Hmm..... Probably. And, yes, I have a couple other reasons.
Geno: Any chance of you telling me?
G&W: ...... Fine. I suppose I owe you that much, since you haven't complained, so far. The real reason
I'm going through all this trouble is because-
Stay tuned for the next riveting chapter. All My Brawlers: A Long-Ass Day, part 2!
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are in the middle of training. As they fight, Mewtwo keeps a constant mental
link open.)
Ganondorf: +It's hard to believe that Samus agreed to all of our demands, just for some information.+
Mewtwo: <Indeed. It's almost as though she couldn't wait to get us out of her room. Can't imagine
why.>
Ganondorf: +I think I can guess. That little outburst you had during lunch wasn't what some would call a
small event. It changed most people's opinions of you, even if their brains didn't want to except it. I
think Samus was one of the ones who need more time than others to comprehend the reality.+
Mewtwo: ..... 
Ganondorf: +Well.... How long has this been going on?+
Mewtwo: <How long have I been in love? About two weeks. Why?
Ganondorf: +It seems that your fighting abilities haven't suffered from it, so I suppose I'm okay with it.
And you still seem as evil as ever.+
(They continue fighting for two hours, then go to the Doc's office to see to the wounds they have
inflicted on each other. Inside, they see the Doc, as well as Pit.)
Doc: Ah, it's-a you two! I was-a starting to think you had-a beaten each other into-a comas.
Ganondorf: Feh. This weakling couldn't knock a fly off a wall.
Mewtwo: <At least I can actually hit something. You couldn't punch the broad side of a barn, from the
inside.>
Ganondorf: Oh, you wanna go again? I'll be glad to give you another pummeling.
Doc: Gentlemen, gentlemen! I will not-a have fighting within-a my office! Now, sit down over-a there,
and I'll-a be with you once I'm-a done with-a Pit.
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf take seats at the other side of the office. Doc carries on, bandaging Pit's wing.)
Mewtwo: ...... <Pit.>
Pit: Hm?
Doc: Did-a you say something?
Pit: Didn't you?
Mewtwo: <I'm speaking to just you. Just think what you want to say, and I'll pick up on it.>
Pit: +Oh, I see. What is it? Wait, let me guess: you just decided on a suitable way to blackmail me and
Zelda. Well, guess what? We've decided that we're going to reveal it to everyone after we get back from
Mute City, anyway, so go ahead and blab.+
Mewtwo: <No, no... it's not that. I've been thinking... After my outburst today... your secret is safe, until
you feel like telling everyone.>
Pit: +Oh... thanks, I guess.+
Mewtwo: <Don't mention it.>
Pit: +Heh. Wait until everyone hears about what a softie you are. It's going to be hilarious.+
Mewtwo: ...... <You see what I did to Ganondorf? I was in a good mood when I whupped his ass. You
don't want to know what I would do to you if you pissed me off.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Zelda is sitting in Link's room. Link is packing up a bunch of his stuff.)
Link: So, anyway, Zelda, I wanted to make sure I purge Hyrule of as much evil as I can, before we go to
Mute City. So, I'm going to be gone pretty much the whole time. So, if Samus calls a meeting, or
whatever, just take some notes, I guess.
Zelda: Ummm.... sure. I'll be sure to do that.
Link: Thanks, Zel, you're a gem.
(Link continues stuffing things into a large knapsack. Then, he takes the knapsack, and stuffs it into a
small pouch, and ties the pouch to his belt.)
Link: Boy, these magic artifacts are something, aren't they? (straps Master sword to his back.) Well, I'm
off.
Zelda: Be careful. Don't take any stupid risks.
Link: Zelda, I've survived way worse than any of the common evils of Hyrule. I'll be fine.
(Link exits the room.)
Zelda: Hmm.... I think I should follow him. I'm getting some bad vibes.
(Zelda exits the room, and heads for the rec room. Snake and Samus are playing pool, Y. Link and Ness
are playing foosball, surrounded by the other young ones.)
Zelda: Samus, do you know where Pit is?
Samus: Sorry, not a clue. Snake?
Snake: Well, I heard he was sparring with Meta-Knight, and had a bit of an accident. You could probably
find him in Doc's office.
Zelda: Thank you. I'm going to be going away for a while. I'm following Link, so I can screw with him,
and, um.... I wanted to tell Pit to try to fit some exotic meat or something into the banquet. You know,
some kind of rare animal, or something.
Samus: Don't worry, Zelda. I'll be sure to let him know. After all, we have something else in common,
now.
Zelda: What on earth are you talking about?
Samus: ........ I'll be sure to pass it on.
Zelda: Thanks. (transforms into Sheik.)
Sheik: Well, I'm off. (Throws down a smoke bomb, and disappears.)
Snake: .... Does she really have to use the smoke bomb? There's a door, not 50 feet away.
Samus: He, dear. Sheik is a he. (Knocks a ball into a side pocket.)
Snake: What? It's Zelda in disguise. It's a she.
Samus: Does it look like there's anything in the chest area? (Knocks another ball into the other side.)
Snake: Believe me, the chest doesn't matter. The only part that matters is downstairs. I don't care if a
girl's chest is concave. As long as she's got the vertical smile, all else is moot.
Samus: Well, I guess that's true. Of course, we'll never know, unless we catch him.
Snake: Her.
Samus: It, for now. 8 ball, corner pocket. (Knocks 8 ball into the corner pocket.)
Snake: Damn, woman. That's just not fair.
Samus: A deal is a deal. Do it.
Snake: Ugh.
(Snake does the Chicken Dance and the Macarena all around the rec room.)
(All the young ones - Y. Link, Ness, Popo/Nana, Pichu, Pikachu, Jigglypuff and Kirby - are just sitting
down to dinner.)
Ness: What's with these people? There's hardly anything good up there.
Y. Link: Tell me about it. At least we can always count on the pizza.
Popo/Nana: Amen!
Pikachu: Pika pika. Pikachu, pi.
Kirby: {He has a point. Broccoli's good with Ranch.}
Nana: Yeah... that's true. Everything's good with Ranch.
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff?
Kirby: {Well, almost everything. Nothing goopy, like pudding.}
Popo: Eww. Who would want to ruin pudding like that?
(They all keep eating for a while.)
Ness: Popo? Is something wrong? You've hardly touched your pizza.
Popo: Uh? Oh, I was just thinking about something.
Y. Link: What's that?
Popo: Well.... I was just thinking about Mario's farewell party. I know it was our idea, but I keep thinking
that we should be doing more for it. Everything's being done by the grown-ups, but I really wanna help.
Don't you?
Y. Link: He's right. We really need to do more. Besides, I'm starting to get bored with air-hockey.
(Everyone stops.)
Y. Link: ...... What? Don't worry. I'm doing pinball, now.
Pichu: Pichu, pi.
Kirby: {Yeah, don't scare us like that.}
Jigglypuff: Puff, jigglypuff?
Kirby: {She's right. What're we gonna do?}
Ness: Ummm...... We should talk to Samus! She'll have something for us to do.
Samus: Who's asking me for what now?
Y. Link: Oh, Miss Aran! We all want to help out more with Mario's party.
Samus: But, you gave us the idea. That should be enough.
Ness: Please? We really wanna do something. Anything!
(All the young ones gather around Samus and start pleading.)
Samus: Urrgh.... All right! Yeesh. If you want to help that badly, fine. Pit has just informed me that he's
decided on what to make for the banquet, so we're going to have a meeting at 7:15. We're going to start
assigning jobs, and I'll make sure all of you do something.
Popo/Nana: Hooray! Thank you, Miss Aran.
Samus: Whatever. Just, please, let me go. I have to get dessert.
(Gasp.)
Ness: Dessert! I almost forgot about it.
(All the young ones rush to the dessert cart and start loading up on cake, pie, pudding and ice cream,
then sit down at their table and start shoveling it in. Samus goes back to her table with Snake.)
Snake: Now, that was funny. There's just something about all those kids hopping around you, and you
getting annoyed.
Samus: Har-dee har har. You know, I could tell them to help you with your little projects. Would you like
that?
Snake: You wouldn't! Urgh. Fine. I'm sorry.... but you did look quite adorable, when they were crowding
around you.
Samus: Dammit. How come every time I get made at you, you say something to make me not mad?
Snake: I'm just good like that. By the way, what is my job?
Samus: Oh, right. Don't worry, we're going to be assigning jobs later. Did you make it known when we're
meeting?
Snake: Of course. Don't worry. They'll be there. What about Link and Zelda, though? Are we just going to
give them their jobs, once they get back?
Samus: I'm not sure. To be honest, there isn't that much to do. We could probably have everything done
in a matter of days, so I'm not worried. I'll figure something out, later.
(Everyone continues eating. At around 7:10, Samus and Snake stand up, and head out. All the others get
up and follow.)
(In the halls. Fox, Falco and Meta-Knight are walking together. Geno is in front of them.)
Fox: Say, have you guys noticed that Mario doesn't eat in the mess hall? I don't think I've ever seen him
eat there, once.
Falco: Really? Does he eat in his office, or something?
MK: He's probably too busy. I can't imagine all the stuff he has to manage.
Falco: Maybe. But, still, it's not like he has to do a whole lot. He just sits there. Nothing too stressful
about that, I think.
(Geno suddenly whirls around.)
Geno: What was that?
Falco (taken aback): Err, about Mario doing nothing? I just said that all he does is sit there, and it's not
like he has to work out, or anything.
Geno: Ah... I'm sorry. I thought you said something else.
(Geno walks ahead to where Game&Watch is.)
Fox: Huh. Weird guy. You know, maybe that's why Mario's retiring. He just wants to be lazy for the rest
of his life. He is a plumber, after all. They're a lazy bunch.
(Ahead, with Geno and Game&Watch.)
Geno (whisper): Listen, I've got a plan, and I think it's going to work. You can stop worrying about Mario.
It's in the bag.
(Geno walks ahead.)
G&W: +A plan, eh? For all our sake, Geno, I really hope it works out.+
(Everyone gathers in the Conference Room.)
Samus: Alright, looks like everyone's here. Mr. Game&Watch, would you please take your position by
the door.
(Game&Watch stands in the doorframe.)
Samus: Right. The reason I gathered you all here is because Pit has made his decision for the banquet.
So, at this point, we are going to start assigning other tasks, in preparation of the banquet, according to
your own skills and talents.
(Samus starts dolling out tasks. About 20 minutes later.)
Samus: Does everyone understand what it is they're supposed to do?
(General nod.)
Samus: Excellent. Of course, we'll be adjusting, as newcomers are introduced.
Mario: Hello, everyone! I know it's-a late, but I'd-a like everyone to-a gather in-a the Conference-a
Room, so I can-a introduce someone. That's-a all.
(The PA click off.)
Samus: Huh. I mention newcomers, and Mario says he's about to introduce another one to us.
Ness: Who else saw that one coming?
(Everyone raises their hands. Game&Watch and Samus take their seats. A minute later, Mario walks
through the door, and stops.)
Mario: ............ Uh.... huh. I'm-a going to ignore this creepiness. Anyway, like I said, I have-a someone to
introduce to you. I'm sure some of you will be happy to meet him, and some of you will be a little-a
angry with me. So, please make him feel welcome.... Bowser Jr.!!
(A shimmering M appears on the wall, and Bowser Jr. jumps through, holding his magic paint-brush.
Bowser slams his hands on the table, and stands up.)
Bowser: JUNIOR!!
Bowser Jr.: Hey, papa! I'm going to be in Brawl! I'm finally going to have my chance to beat on Mario!
(turns to Mario) I hope you're ready for a whupping... from yourself!
(Bowser Jr. waves his magic brush, and transforms into Shadow Mario.)
Shadow Mario: Ha ha! I look forward to seeing all of you in combat!
(Applause. With a wave of the brush, Shadow Mario transforms back to Bowser Jr., and stands proudly.)
Mario: Indeed! Now, if you would please take your place next to Geno, I have another announcement
for everyone.
(Bowser Jr. sits next to Geno, and gives a thumbs-up to Bowser. Bowser wipes away a tear.)
Bowser: +Of course, with Junior around, I won't be able to spend time with Peach. Ah, this is going to be
torture. But I'm so proud of him!+
Mario: Now.... at this time... I'd like to introduce another newcomer!
(General whispering of shock. Mario holds up a hand for silence.)
Mario: We had to go through many troubles to bring him here, much like what we did for Snake. I'm
proud to introduce... Mega Man EXE!!
(An orb of light appears, with bands of data around it. The bands shatter and disappear, and the light
fades. Standing there, is Mega Man EXE. Big applause.)
EXE: Hey, everyone! Great to meet all of you! When I was invited to be in Brawl, I was all, ‘All right! This
is going to completely rock my network!' I'm looking forward this!
Mario: Alright! That's-a what I like to hear. EXE, you're going to be sitting over-a there, next to Bowser
Jr.
(EXE takes his seat. He leans over and whispers to Bowser Jr.)
EXE: Hey there, little man. Isn't this cool?
Bowser Jr.: Totally. I can't wait to start pummeling these people.
EXE: Yeah. It's going to be great being friends with everyone.
Bowser: Jr.: ...... I don't think we're on the same page, here.
Mario: Thank you for coming together. I'd love to stay and welcome the newcomers personally, but I
have to talk with some people about some major renovations for-a the mansion.
(Mario walks out of the room. Bowser Jr. and EXE start to get up, but see everyone still sitting, looking at
Samus, and sit down again, looking confused. When Samus stands up, so do the others.)
Samus: Bowser, you can get your son up to speed on what's going on. Geno, take care of EXE.
(Samus walks out of the room. Everyone else files out, with Bowser Jr. next to his father, and Geno with
EXE.)
(Mario is pacing back and forth in Doc's office.)
Mario: Are you absolutely sure? You have to be one hundred percent-a certain.
Doc: I wish I was wrong, Mario, but I'm absolutely sure. Captain Falcon is-a going to die. He tried to walk,
but fell down a flight of stairs. In his already unstable condition... Mario, Falcon may be dead, already. I
got-a the call only a half-hour ago, but the accident happened two hours before.
Mario: ....... This is so unfortunate. He had so much life, ahead of him.
Doc: Ah, Mario? There's-a something else I need to tell you.
Mario: What? Oh, it's-a more bad news, isn't it? Well, it can't be as bad as Captain Falcon, can it?
Doc: ..... (cough) I was going over the scans of Roy's head, and I discovered two things. The first is the
source of his-a speech problems. It's a simple remove-and-repair job.
Mario: Ooh, that's a relief. What's-a the second thing you found?
Doc: ... You see, after that, I looked at the rest of his-a brain, to check for peripheral damages. That's-a
when I discovered that Roy has a very malignant brain-deteriorating tumor, in the deepest part of his-a
brain. It's-a gonna kill him, Mario, and we can't remove it, because it's-a wrapped around two very vital
parts of the brain. We can't remove the tumor without damaging these bits, and if that happens, even
slightly... Even if he doesn't die, Roy will be a vegetable, for the rest of his life.
Mario: DAMMIT! This is-a the very worst time for all this to come up! How could this get any worse?
(Luigi bursts into the office.)
Luigi: MARIO! COME QUICK! YOSHI'S LOST IT!
Mario: What are you talking about?!
Luigi: Donkey Kong explained it. Yoshi ate too much meat, and-a that awakened a beast within him.
Mario: What's he doing?
Luigi: It's-a horrible. He broke into the young one's room, and.... he ate them..... Pichu, Pikachu,
Jigglypuff, and Popo. The others were able to run away, but I don't think Yoshi's done yet.
Mario: DAMMIT! COME ON!
(Luigi, Doc and Mario run through the halls to the children's room. All the remaining children are far
down the hall, behind Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Fox, Falco and Meta-Knight.)
Mario: Where is he? Wait, where's Nana?

Fox: We don't know. She ran off in a different direction.
Y. Link: I think she went crazy after she saw Popo.
Mario: And Yoshi?
Ness: He-(sob) he-(sob) he-(sob)
Falco: He's still in there. We're trying to come up with a plan.
Ganondorf: What do we need a plan for? We go in there and beat the holy hell out of him.
Falco: Normally, I would agree. However, he isn't nearly as dumb as he used to be. According to Young
Link, it seems Yoshi's speed and strength have greatly increased. It's like his entire body is working in
overdrive. We need a plan, or else one of us could die.
(Suddenly, Yoshi runs into the hall, sees the group, turns around, and starts running very fast.)
Fox: Damn! He's fast! Come on!
(Fox, Falco, Meta-Knight, Luigi and Mario pursued Yoshi, while Ganondorf, Mewtwo and Doc stayed with
the children.)
Mario: Hang on.... how long was it since Yoshi attacked the children?
Falco: We showed up about 3 minutes after the attack. From now, 5 minutes.
Mario: How many others know Yoshi has gone berserk?
Fox: Only us. We thought we'd have more time to prepare.
Mario: Alright. Luigi, go around and tell everyone what's going on. Make sure they get into a secure
area.
Luigi: Got it.
(Luigi splits off from the group. A few moments later, screams are heard.)
Fox: That's Nana! He's gotten to Nana!
(They run faster, turn a corner, and screech to a halt.)
Falco: Oh, BALLS!
Mario: YOSHI! NOOOO!!!
(In front of them, Yoshi has Nana on her stomach, pinned to the ground. He is raping her violently.)
Mario: THAT'S IT!! WE'RE STOPPING THIS-a NOW! Fox, Falco, start shooting! Meta-Knight, let's-a go!
(Fox and Falco pull out their blasters and start firing. Mario and Meta-Knight charge forward. Mario
starts charging up a huge fireball, and Meta-Knight pulls out his sword. Yoshi looks up, but it's too late.
Meta-Knight plunges his sword into Yoshi's chest, and Mario releases an enormous stream of fire
directly into Yoshi's face. Yoshi screams once, then collapses backwards, his charred, smoldering head
thumping against the ground.)
Mario: I'm-a so sorry, my friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Samus jerks awake. A cold sweat stands on her forehead.)
Samus: ....... Goddam. If black chai gives me nightmares like that, I think I'll stick with chamomile, from
now on.
(After a while, Samus goes back to sleep.)
(Last time, on All My Brawlers, Samus had a nightmare, and the readers found out how big of an ass I
am.)
(It's morning in the Brawler Mansion. Everyone is gathering for breakfast. Samus is at her usual table,
head in hands over a bowl of cereal. Snake sits down next to her with a plate stacked with food.)
Snake: Hey, love. You look a little like crap. What's up?
Samus: I feel a little like crap. I had the most horrible nightmare, last night.
Snake: Really? What was it about? (chews wad of bacon)
Samus: You remember when Wario told us about how Yoshi goes absolutely murder-psycho if he eats
too much meat?
Snake: I was surprised he actually knew that. (chews scrambled eggs) After he told us everything he
knows, I was so pleased, I paid to get him drunk. Remind me to take advantage of his hangover, later.
Anyway, you were saying? (shovels in more eggs)
Samus: Well, let's just say that I never could have even thought of such a terrible case of Jekyll&Hyde
syndrome.
Snake: Damn. That's harsh. (bites toast) Were you even in it?
Samus: No. But I do remember something else that was strange.
Snake: What was that?

Samus: At the end, Mario and Meta-Knight had to kill Yoshi, because he was... well, Mario hit Yoshi right
in the face with this gigantic fireball. Bigger than anything I've ever seen him do.
Snake: Huh. Well, it was a dream, right? Those sorts of things are always exaggerated.
Samus: Mm. Maybe. Thanks for listening. I feel better.
Snake: You still look like crap.
(Samus hits Snake, and they both eat.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Peach and Luigi are sitting at the same table. Luigi has a full plate, but isn't eating, just has his head
down, massaging his temples.)
Peach: ...... You got plastered again, didn't you?
Luigi: Snake was buying. Wario is a treasure-a-trove of knowledge, and Snake-a wanted to make sure
they're on the same side. Silence, please, now. (slowly chews bacon)
Peach: Hmm..... How much do you think Wario knows? Maybe... some secrets?
Luigi: He knows everyone's strengths, weak points, weaknesses, physical stuff. I don't know about actual
secrets. I will give one more answer, and that's it. (continues chewing bacon)
Peach: ....... Could you find out any secrets he knows, take notes, then tell me?
Luigi: Only if you never speak to me after I've been drinking, ever again.
Peach: Deal.
Luigi: Ohhhhh, sweet, a-delicious silence.
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf walk by.)
Mewtwo (to Ganondorf): <I'm telling you, it's the funniest damn thing I've ever seen. I'll do it right now.
Shh.> (to everyone) <LUIGI!!>
Luigi: IT'S-A BURNING MY SOUL!!!!
(Luigi's very blood-shot eyes are wide open, and he stands up quickly, knocking over his chair. He stands
stock still, for a second, then topples over, and somehow winds up upside-down on his head. There he
stays, completely immobile.)
Ganondorf: ........ No worries. He's still breathing.

(Laughter and merriment is had by all.)
(The rest of breakfast is more or less uneventful. Time passes, until around 11:00.... Peach is in her
room, reading some shlocky romance novel with Fabio on the cover. There's a knock at the door.)
Peach: Who is it?
Bowser Jr.: It's me, mama.
Peach: ...... Just a moment.
(Peach opens the door. Standing there is Bowser Jr., who jumps onto Peach.)
Bowser Jr.: Hey, mama!
(Peach puts Bowser Jr. down, and closes the door.)
Peach: (sigh) ...... Sweetie, how many times does mama have to tell you not to jump up on anyone?
Really. You fight Mario once, and you think you're the king of everything.
Bowser Jr.: Naw! I know I'm not the king of everything. That's papa! I'm just the prince!
Peach: Did you need something, dear? Mama has her own things to tend to.
Bowser Jr.: Sorry. Miss Aran told me to work on the art for Mario's banquet, and I already drew some
stuff, and I want to see if you like it. Here. It's all the stuff after the paperclip.
(Bowser Jr. pulls a sketch book from beneath his shell, and hands it to Peach. Peach starts flipping
through it.)
Peach: ...... It's all very good, dear. But, you have to remember, this is supposed to be a banquet in
honor of Mario. Many of us aren't going to see him, after this. Try a few more, but keep that in mind. I
know you can come up with a design that's perfect. (hands the sketch book back)
Bowser Jr.: Thanks, Mama. I will! (turns to go, pauses, then turns around) Mama?
Peach: What is it, sweetie?
Bowser Jr.: .......... Are you really my mama?
(Peach looks at Bowser Jr. for a while, then takes his hand.)
Peach: Well, you're going to be a brawler, now. I guess you can handle the truth. Let's go see your papa.
(Peach and Bowser Jr. head to Bowser's tower. Peach bangs the heavy knocker.)
Bowser: What?! I'm busy!

Peach: Bowser, it's about your son.
(Silence. A moment later, Bowser opens the door.)
Bowser: Has he been bothering people, again?
Peach: No, no. May we come in?
Bowser: Sure, of course. (Bowser closes the heavy door after them) So, what's he been up to? Junior,
what have you been-
Peach: He asked me if I'm his real mother.
(Silence.)
Bowser: Why do you ask, all of a sudden? I told you, on our vacation, she isn't really your mama.
Bowser Jr.: I know... but, I've never seen my real mama! I've never seen you with any female koopas! I
don't know if there are any lady koopas, at all. Papa... who is my real mama?
(Silence. Finally, Bowser lets out a big sigh.)
Bowser: You want to tell him, or should I?
Bowser: This is probably something he should hear from his old man. Junior come here, sit on papa's lap.
(Bowser Jr. climbs up onto Bowser's knee, and looks at him with big, expectant eyes.)
Bowser: Junior.... It's true... Peach is your real mama, but not in the normal way. Normally, we koopas
make babies in the same way humans do. However, when your mother, Peach, and I decided that we
wanted to have you, our scientists told us that it is physically impossible for her to carry you. And so, we
went to the top scientists, in Samus's part of the universe. There, we had a procedure called "genetic
engineering." It's where a scientists takes the two pieces that make a baby from your mother and I, and
messes with it. That's why you look just like a koopa. If we didn't, you wouldn't have turned into the
handsome little man you are, now.
(All the time, Bowser Jr.'s eyes just kept getting bigger and bigger, and tears started welling up.)
Peach: ....... Son?
(Like flicking a switch, Bowser Jr. bursts out crying, and leaps into Peach's arms.)
Bowser Jr.: MAMA! I love you, mama!
Peach (tears welling up): Oh... I love you too, son!
Bowser (tears welling up, as well): (sniff) This has to be the happiest day of my life. I love you both, so
much!
(They all get into a big, teary family hug.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Just outside the window ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: +Damn. Samus sends me on a spy mission, and this is what I find out? Hmm... I wonder if I should
tell her? This really seems like a private matter. Then again, if she even thinks I'm hiding something,
she'll do that thing she does until I tell her..... I'd better get back to her.+
(It's lunch-time in the Brawlers Mansion, and, as usual, everyone's just minding their own business,
when the PA clicks on.)
Mario: Hello, everyone! At 4 o'clock, today, I would like everyone to gather in-a the outdoor training
room. I have something everyone will like.
(The PA clicks off. Everyone starts rambling about what it might be Mario has.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the Fox table ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Fox: I'm betting he's going to show us some of the stages we're going to be fighting on. (eats potato
salad)
Falco: Full-sized stages? I don't think so. He would just have some sized-down models, or something.
(slurps the remainder of his soup)
Meta-Knight: Mario wouldn't do it quite like that, I think. If he's showing us stages, why do it outdoors?
Wouldn't it be easier to just give us a slide-show, or something? (sticks a straw through is mask, and
sucks soda)
EXE: Does it matter? We'll find out when we get out there, and then we all get to be pleasantly
surprised. (eats half a burger)
Falco: Point goes to Mega Man. I'm voting for not caring. (burps) ‘Scuse me.
Fox: ......... Aren't you technically just a program? How come you're eating?
Geno: Don't worry. They did the same thing to me, on my first day. (eats fries)
EXE: Oh, it's cool. I was given an instructional program before I came here. Here's how it works. What
you see before you is a copyroid, a robot that takes on the form of whatever navi is in it. In this case,
me. Normally, the battery life is fairly short, but this one is specially modified for prolonged use, and
heavy combat. (stuffs rest of burger in mouth, and talks around it) See, there are solar panels on the
copyroid itself, which gives me a fair amount of my energy.
Fox: Still doesn't explain why you eat.
EXE: I was getting to that. See, in order to make me more like you flesh-bags, this copyroid is equipped
with a working mouth, plus salivary glands. But, instead of a stomach, I have a liquid collector, which
processes any liquids that goes through, and turns it into a lubricant that lets me move easier, longer.
Along with that, I have an incinerator which burns solid foods, and a collection grid which absorbs the
energy, and distributes it throughout my body. It's like how you meat-bags burn carbs, or whatever.
Anything left over is vented harmlessly at my command.
Falco: Huh...... is it just me, or was that needlessly long?
EXE: You asked. I could have given you the long version, which breaks down pretty much every func-
Fox: No! That's quite alright. You answered my question just fine. (eats more potato salad)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Speaking of even more big announcements, when are you going to show off your girlfriend?
(wolfs down burger)
Mewtwo: <Good lord, you're never going to give up, are you? Fine. I'll bring her around tomorrow. Now
never talk about it again.> (crushes cheesecake into a tiny ball with mind, and eats it.) <I'm surprised I
never thought of this before. I'm eating in record time.>
Ganondorf: Ugh. Isn't it a little much for your stomach to take? Of course, if you get sick, I'm just going
to laugh.
Mewtwo: <Don't make me set your cape on fire. I could do that, on a whim, and you know it.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ness: Is it just me, or is Bowser Jr. giving us kids a bad name? He's causing random havoc, all the time.
Kirby: {Not now, he isn't. Take a look.}
(All look at Bowser Jr., who is sitting quietly, eating politely next to Bowser.)
Ness: Creepy. I wonder what's come over him?
Y. Link: Hey, check out Miss Peach. Something seems weird about her.
(Peach is sitting quietly with Luigi, glancing frequently at Bowser Jr., occasionally waving at him.)
Pikachu: Pika pika. Chu pika, pi.
Kirby: {He said: Something's definitely up. We should try to find out.}
Nana: But how? Are we going to spy on them, or what?
Popo: Maybe we could ask some of the adults. Ganondorf and Mewtwo know a lot.
Ness: Yeah, but I hear that, lately, Miss Aran knows a lot, too. Probably has something to do with being a
leader. When I had my own adventure, I knew almost everything that was going on.
Y. Link: Right. I'll go ask Miss Aran, after Mario's announcement.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: Oh, damn! You hear that? Something everyone's going to like? It's happening!
Snake: Settle down, dear. What's happening?
Samus: Remember when I told you about my dream? Mario used some giant fireball. I just felt
something disturbing in the pit of my stomach. That's what he's going to show us.
Snake: What? He's going to show off a new power? The man's retiring, dear. Besides, I hardly think he
would do something like that. It's almost like rubbing our faces in it.
Samus: I'm not sure... (sigh) I guess there's nothing to do but wait.
(The day is uneventful, until 4 o'clock rolls around. Everyone gathers in the outdoor training room,
where Mario is standing on a stage, next to Sandbag.)
Mario: I'm-a so glad everyone's here. I just received a very interesting item, which will be available in
Brawl. It's-a very rare, and very hard to manufacture. However, we struck a deal with a master smith,
and he's-a cranking them out.
(Mario pulls out an iridescent small disc that is about the size of his palm, with two large lines going
through it)
Mario: This... is-a the Smash Emblem. In Brawl, this-a will be used to activate great powers. For this
demonstration, I was very lucky to get one that's at full power. Also, Sandbag here was-a kind enough to
be my target.
Sandbag: ........
Mario: I will now activate... the Super Smash!
(With those words, Mario crushes the Smash Emblem. The fragments turn into points of colored light,
swirl around Mario, then sink into his skin. Mario's eyes flash a bright red-orange, and an aura surrounds
him. Mario charges up two swirling fireballs in his hand. With a mighty roar, he brings his hands together
in front of him, the two fireballs grow gigantic in size, and spiral around each other. The fireballs hit
Sandbag over and over again, and send Sandbag flying out of sight.)
(Complete and utter awe from everyone. Mario takes a deep breath, and smiles at the brawlers.)
Mario: Neat, huh? Of course, these are going to be very rare, in Brawl. All of you will have a chance to
try out your own Super Smashes, over the next couple of weeks. Thank you for-a your time.
(Mario leaves. Slowly, everyone gets up, and goes back inside, as well.)
Snake: So, love, was this like your dream?

Samus: Pretty much, yeah. It was a little more intense, here, but other than that, it was the same.
Snake: See? And nothing bad happened. You just drank bad tea, that's all.
Samus: I know... still... I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen. Oh, what am I
thinking? If one person goes berserk, we now have 32 others who would beat that one down. And,
we're just going to get more and more. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, at all.
Snake: Exactly. We have a lot of people backing us up, so we have nothing to worry about. Come on, I'll
play you again at pool. This time, you're going to lose the bet, and you know what that means, right?
Samus: Not a chance, sparky. This time, I want you to do a ballet. In front of everyone at dinner.
(Megaman.EXE is walking through the halls. He turns a corner, and sees Marth and Roy making out.)
EXE: +Huh. There's something you don't see every day.... I should go.... Here I go...... Walking away.. .. ..
..... That kinda looks fun.+
(EXE walks away, finally. Eventually, Marth and Roy go on their merry way. They end up at Doc's office.)
Doc: Ah, excellent! I have been waiting for you two. I have wonderful news. I've spoken with all the top
doctors in all the sectors, and they think Roy can-a be cured!
Marth: {Roy, this is great! Finally, I'll be able to hear your wonderful words, again.}
(Roy just smiles.)
Doc: Indeed. Now, during our trip to Mute-a City, that's-a when the procedure will be done.
Marth: {Wait, wait. Procedure?}
Doc: I'm assuming you're asking about the procedure. Don't worry, I'll explain it fully.
(Doc explains the full procedure, along with risks, and Marth translates it for Roy.)
Doc: Well, what do you think? I have to get the consent of Roy, in order to go ahead with the operation.
Marth: {Well, Roy? Are you going to do it?}
(Roy smiles, and nods.)
Doc: Very well. If Roy would just sign-a this release form, all we have to do is wait for Mute-a City.
(Doc hands the paper to Roy, points where to sign, and Roy scribbles his signature.)
Doc: Domo origato. Roy, you may go. Marth, would you please stay a little?
Marth: {Roy, please wait outside. Doc and I have something to discuss.}
(Roy steps outside, and Doc closes the door.)
Doc: ....... Marth, there's-a one thing I omitted, when I told you about the procedure. You see... after Roy
is cured, he will be able to speak normally, pretty much right away. However, it's-a possible that other...
behaviors, may change. Now, even if something changes, it's-a likely to be something minor. Something
like, say, different tastes in food. However, I have to let you know, there's a chance - albeit, a slim one -
that Roy may become very different. Do you understand?
(Marth pauses, then nods once. He then exits.)
Doc: Whew. That-a was rough. At-a least they're going to be happy, again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at dinner, the general topic of discussion is the Super Smash ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Fox: Do you know if any of us have already tried out the Super Smash? I'm sure at least one person has
already done it. (tears into chicken wing)
Falco: You mean you haven't heard? Turns out the very first one, besides Mario, to use the Smash
Emblem is Samus, in her power suit. (sucks soda)
EXE: Really? What'd she do? (tosses two grapes in the air, and catches them in his mouth)
Meta-Knight: She was in her power suit, right? I'm guessing it was some kind of giant laser cannon thing.
(sticks a straw through his mask, and sucks soda)
Geno: That sounds like Samus. Have any others gone? (cuts steak and eats)
Fox: Feh. Mario's probably going to make go one per day. He's a jerk like that. I bet he could fit all of us
into one day, but he just doesn't feel like it. (eats more chicken)
EXE: I doubt it. Remember Sandbag? I bet he's supposed to be the target, so nothing gets destroyed. He
probably has someone go get it, every night. (tosses a small potato into his mouth)
Meta-Knight: Finally, someone who makes real sense. Besides, as long was we all get to try it out before
Brawl, it's fine by me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Bowser: Heh. When I get a hold of that Smash Emblem, I'm going to turn right around, and smash
Mario!
Bowser Jr.: Hey! I want to take a shot at Mario! How come you get all the fun?
Bowser: Alright, alright. If you get to try your Super Smash first, then you can clobber Mario. But, if I get
to try mine out first, I don't want to hear any complaining from you. Do I make myself clear?
Bowser Jr.: Yes, papa. Hey, look! They just put out more ham! I'll be right back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: So... what was is it like?
Samus: I'm not telling you what happened. There's no way I'm telling anyone that.
Snake: I know, I know. But you can tell me what it felt like, right?
Samus: (sigh) If it'll stop your whining... Fine. (puts chin on hands, and stares off into space) It was
something else. When I crushed that little coin, and the light hit me... I felt such a rush of power. And
knowledge! I knew exactly what to do, and how to do it. So, I just concentrated my power... and did it.
Oh, it was so great.
Snake: Damn... I can't friggin' wait for my turn. I wonder if he's got those things stockpiled somewhere?
Samus: You're not thinking of... No way.
Snake: What? I was just... wondering...
Samus: Don't even think about it. Mario is making us go one at a time for a reason. Can you imagine the
devastation if everyone did a Super Smash all at once?
Snake: (sigh) Yeah, you're right. But it's easy for you to say. You actually got to do it!
Samus: Shut up and eat your ham. Yeesh. You win one game of pool, and you think you're on top of the
world.
Snake: That's because I know how to bet. What you do to me is humiliating. What I make you do, that's
good for just me. And I know you enjoyed it.
(Samus smacks Snake, and eats.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, in the 2D world ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Game&Watch: I don't like this... these Super Smash things... something doesn't seem right.
Geno: What about them? They're super-powerful attacks. Where's the problem?
G&W: Hmm.... I'm just getting some bad vibes, you know? Maybe it's about something completely
different, and I'm just confusing it with all the talk about these little coins.
Geno: Now that you mention it... I do sense something brewing. As if hundreds of voices are crying out,
"Oh, *&^%."
G&W: Pretty much. Well, all we can do is wait, I suppose. It'll become obvious, soon enough.
(Sheik opens a window in Pit's room, and silently creeps through. Sheik transforms into Zelda, and Zelda
starts stripping, then slides into Pit's bed. Minutes later, Pit enters naked, except for a towel around his
waist. He sees Zelda, and drops his towel.)
Pit: Zelda! You're back!
Zelda: And I see you're quite happy about it.
Pit: I'm real happy you're back! I- (looks down, see himself) Well... whatever.
(Pit jumps into bed with Zelda. They giggle and such, then cuddle and kiss and whatnot.)
Pit: So? How was your little mission? More of the same?
Zelda: Pretty much... Some women at the Gerudo fortress, Ruto, Malon twice, and Saria.
Pit: Wait, isn't Saria a, what do you call it? Kokiri? Isn't she... tiny?
Zelda: I checked. She's really older than Link. I know, it doesn't make it any less creepy. What'd I miss?
Pit: Oh, it was so cool! First, Mario introduced TWO newcomers. Bowser Jr. and Mega Man EXE.
Zelda: Really? I would have expected a different Mega Man.
Pit: Yeah, me, too. Anyway, that was all yesterday. Today was even cooler! Everyone gathered in the
outdoor training facility, and Mario demonstrated one of the coolest things I've ever seen. See, there's
this little coin, called the Smash Emblem, and you crush it, and you're filled with power! Then, you do
this thing called a Super Smash. When Mario did it, he shot out these two gigantic fireballs that
completely blew away Sandbag! And, over the next few weeks, we're all going to test out our own Super
Smashes!
Zelda: My goodness! That sounds like a lot of power! I certainly hope it doesn't fall into the wrong
hands, or anything.
Pit: Yeah... But, even if one person does get a lot of them, the rest of us combined will surely be able to
take that one person down.
Zelda: Yes, I suppose so.... Oh! What was that?
Pit: What was what?
Zelda: It felt like.... oh, my. You really ARE happy to see me, aren't you?
(Pit and Zelda... yeah.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the 2D world. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: So, you're saying that when he goes psycho, only another beast of the same power can take him
down?
G&W: That's right. Although, I'm not sure where we can find another beast like him. I'm not exactly pre-
cognitive, but I can tell when something big's going to happen, and my gut is telling me it's going to be
him.
Geno: Huh. Do you know when this is going to happen?
G&W: So far, my gut feelings occur a day or two afterwards. Of course, not all of them come true. I
seriously hope that's true, in this case.
Geno: I can see why. I'm all for the excitement this place brings, but I don't think I can handle him. If he
does lose it, can I hide out here?
G&W: I still need you, so, yes.
Geno: Right. Actually, if he becomes too much... we might have to bring everyone else in here. This is
probably the safest place in the whole mansion.
G&W: ........ (sigh) Fine. But, if anyone asks, remember: You're the one controlling the portal, because
you're a higher being, and all that.
Geno: ........ Sure. I understand how you feel. Maybe we should work out a plan, for a worst-case
scenario.
G&W: Right. Just in case.
(Wario, Luigi, Snake and Samus have just finished lunch, and are heading out again.)
Wario: You know, there's just one thing that I still don't get.
Luigi: What's that?
Wario: How in the hell did Mario get so much power into those little coins?
Snake: I think it's fairly simple, really.
Luigi: What? How do you know?
Snake: Don't you remember, you idiots? He said he had a master smith make them.
Wario: Great, now I'm going to be wondering who this master smith is forever.
Samus: Ugh. Just ask him when we get back. It's not that hard a concept. Say, here's a better question:
What the hell are Wario and Luigi doing with us, anyway, Snake?
Snake: (cough) Well, they're my drinking buddies. They're funny as hell when they're smashed.
Wario: I still wish I could remember what I did that was so damn funny.
Luigi: Heh. You were literally rolling around on-a your fat ass, saying over and over again that you're-a
the queen of France.
Snake: Ahh, yes. Good times.
Samus: That's all well and good, but why now? Don't tell me you're planning on getting drunk, again?
Wario: Listen, sweetheart, you're not the best company to have, either. You have this annoying habit of
smacking people for little things.
(Samus smacks Wario.)
I don't care if that proved his point, I feel better. However, we're pretty far from the hotel, as it is. I think
we should start heading back, so we don't miss Captain Falcon.
Luigi: Why bother? If we need to, there's-a the subway. Let's keep going.
Wario: Yeah! Besides, if we miss FAPtain Calcon, big deal, eh?
Snake: I gotta say, I agree with greeney, but not with fat-ass. I'd like to see what they have, further out.
Samus: (sigh) Fine, fine. You're like children, you know that? Ooh! Awesome clothes!
(Samus walks merrily into a store. The guys sigh heavily as one, and follow.)
Wario: You do realize that by doing this, we're making our cajones shrink.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ DK and Yoshi are traveling with Bowser and Bowser Jr. It's just before noon. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Bowser Jr.: Hey, papa, how come we gotta walk with these dorks?
Bowser: Junior, we're traveling with these dorks because I'm not risking my boy being hurt. And besides,
they're not dorks. The proper term is "idgit."
Bowser Jr.: Idgit? What's that?
Bowser: It's like a dork, idiot, moron and numskull all rolled into one, but dumber.
Bowser Jr.: Ha, ha! (Turns to DK and Yoshi) You guys are idgits! You guys are idgits!
DK: {Yeah? Well, your hair looks like idgit hair, to me.}
Yoshi: {Yeah! Idgit hair!.}
DK: {Now, that, little one, is what is known as "getting owned."}

Bowser Jr.: Paaa! They're making fun of me!
Bowser: It's something you gotta expect. The thing to do is just shake it off. When they find out that
their insults don't hurt you in the least, that's what is called "pacifist-owning." In all my years, pacifist-
owning is one of the best ways to own someone.
Bowser Jr.: Wow, papa, you're so smart!
DK: {It almost breaks your heart to know that Bowser is just another lunk-head without anything in his
skull, doesn't it?}
Yoshi: {I may be not smart, but I know when to quit.}
DK: {So very owned.}
(A little later, they themselves stop for lunch.)
Bowser: Come on, Yoshi. Eat some meat! It'll make you less useless.
Yoshi: {I can't. Eating meat isn't good for me, or others.}
Bowser Jr.: Do it, you wuss! Here, I have a lot of hot dogs. You have one!
DK: {Don't do it, Yoshi.}
Yoshi: {I know, I know. It's not going to happen.}
(Thankfully, they get through lunch without Yoshi eating any meat. About an hour later...)
Yoshi: {Hey, I feel funny.}
DK: {Funny? How?
Yoshi: {It's... it's in my belly... I feel..... kind of angry. I feel like I want to fight... Oh, no!}
DK: {What is it?}
Yoshi: {What if I accidentally ate meat? Did one of them put something in my soup? Oh, I don't know
what's going to happen. I don't want to do anything bad! DK help-!}
(Frrrrrrrrp.)
Yoshi: {Oh... it passed.}
DK: {In more than one way, yes.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Geno and Mr. Game&Watch have just had lunch. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Geno: <So you don't know what's going to happen, either?>
G&W: <Normally, I would, but I'm not even close to a truly 2D world, so I can only get vague feelings.
Right now, you're more powerful than I am.>
Geno: <Terrific. But, if I can't feel anything, either, that's a good thing, right? I mean, it means
whatever's going to happen isn't going to happen for a while, right?>
G&W: <Yes, it would be safe to assume.... Still, it's pretty much inevitable. I just wish I could see when,
where, and all that.>
Geno: <It sucks, I know. On Star Road, I knew virtually everything that happens in the Mushroom
Kingdom. The first time I possessed this doll, I became so disoriented, I accidentally wandered into a
forest, and ended up- Well, that's a very long story.>
G&W: 
Geno: <It wouldn't have been so bad, but the situation is making things worse. We're being kept on the
defensive, unable to anticipate anything. Still, I don't think it will be quite as bad as you say it is. After all,
as long as the plan works out, we should be fi- Hey, neat capes!>
(Geno walks into the cape store. Mr. Game&Watch pauses, smacks himself with his bell, and walks in
after him.)
(4 o'clock finally rolls around, and everyone has gathered in the dining hall of the hotel. ......... The
minutes tick by.)
Link: Lordy, when is Falcon going to show up? It's been almost 20 minutes.
(Almost as if on cue, Mario walks in. He takes one look at everyone, and holds up a hand for silence.)
Mario: I must apologize to everyone. It seems there was a complication at-a the hospital, and Captain-a
Falcon will not be joining us, today. Does anyone have any questions?
Link: Yeah, I have one. Are we going to see him at all, and if so, when?
Mario: I have-a spoken with the hospital staff, and they say they can't-a give me an exact time until
tomorrow morning. Any others?
(Silence.)
Maro: Okay, then. In light of-a these developments, you have the rest of-a the night free. That is all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Things are relatively uneventful, until dinner. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Marth and Roy are sitting together. Marth is talking animatedly, but Roy is looking kind of
disinterested.)
Marth: {... And I heard that there is a shop just within walking distance from here where we can get
some nice gifts for our friends, back home.}
Roy: {Mm. I'm sure they would like that.}
Marth: {..... Roy, what is it? I know something is wrong, you never had a good poker face.}
Roy: {..... Marth.... I remember everything from while I couldn't speak. I remember... how happy you
were, when I was.... like that.}
Marth: {Was? Roy.... Oh, Roy, don't tell me.}
Roy: {I'm sorry, Marth, but I just don't feel that way, anymore. I... can't... feel that way. I just...
rediscovered, so to speak, my feelings. My true feelings.}
Marth: {So, that's it? Just like that? Don't you remember how happy you were when we... when we were
together? You liked it. You loved it, I know you did.}
Roy: {Well.... I admit, it was enjoyable, but, Marth... I don't love you. That's all there is to it. I'm sorry.}
(Roy gets up, and leaves.)
Marth: {Roy... Roy... Come back here!}
(Marth slams his fist hard on the table, rattling the silverware, and almost knocking over his wine. Marth
puts his face in his hands. A moment later, he feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up.... and sees
Mega Man EXE.)
EXE: {If it makes you feel any better... I loved you when I first saw you.}
(They stare into each others eyes.... and Marth gets up, and they walk out, together. Over at the Fox
table...)
Krystal: Damn. When he said they're free about sex, he ain't kiddin' around, is he?
Fox: Why is everyone so creepy, around here?
Falco: (sigh) And everyone's falling in love, too. It's going to make communicating with these people very
difficult.
Fox: Indeed...... we're so hopeless.
(Fox and Falco both hang their heads, and sigh heavily.)
MetaKnight: Drama queens.
Krystal: Totally. If it helps, I love you both.

Fox: No you don't. We're just comrades. Partners in combat.
Falco: That's how it is. Doomed to a life of looking cool, but feeling miserable.
Krystal: No, really. I like you both.... very, very much.
(Fox and Falco both bring their heads up.)
Fox: Do you really mean it?
Falco: For real?
(Krystal nods, and the three of them walk out together, leaving Meta-Knight all alone.)
Meta-Knight: ....... Why the hell am I here? I'm going to go insane around these people.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later that night ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus and Krystal are in the room they share.)
Samus: Aah! I can't believe this trip. I thought it would be an opportunity for us to clear our heads, to
become sane. Instead, it's like people are looking upon this trip as an opportunity to be as maddeningly
crazy as possible.
Krystal: Snake went drinking with Wario and Luigi, again, didn't they?
Samus: Damn right that ass went drinking.
Krystal: Hm. You need to give him some incentive to stay with you. I just gave Fox and Falco a little
"show" that I'm sure will make them never stray from me, ever.
Samus: A "show?" You aren't saying... no. Uh-uh. That's out of the question.
Krystal: Why? I'm of the animal kingdom, just like you. The only difference between you and me is I have
fur, a tail, and a fox head.
Samus: Hang on.... I see where this is going. Yeah, I can tell already. If this keeps going, we're going to
end up in the same bed.
Krystal: Hmm. I hadn't thought of that. But, now that you bring it up-
Samus: No! Not a chance.
Krystal: Puh-leeeze? If it helps, I'll give you a show, too.
Samus: Dammit, NO! Krystal, what is with you? What did you hit your head on?
Krystal: (sigh) Fine... but... maybe I should tell you about Zelda and Peach.
Samus: What about them? Hang on... now that you mention it, they did seem a little strange, this
morning. I think Snake knows what's going on, but he hasn't told me anything.
Krystal: See? That's something else you'll never have to suffer if you were to give him a show, like I did
for my boys.
Samus: ........ No, seriously, what's with you? You're a little too sexual for my comfort. There has to be a
reason.
Krystal: ...... (sigh) I'm sorry. It's..... It's a little complicated.
Samus: I have all night.
(Krystal looks calmly at Samus for a long moment, and Samus returns the gaze.)
Krystal: Fine. I'm warning you, though, it might get a little heavy.
Samus: Krystal, between MY experiences, and all the stuff going on around us, I think I can handle it.
Krystal: Right. Well, I haven't been able to piece together the whole story, but I think I have enough for
a good story. When I was a child, I was normal enough. But, as I grew up, I realized that, for some
reason, boys would pay more attention to me than the other girls. I had to have one of my friends tell
me it was because I was much prettier than the other girls. It turns out I was flaunting myself around
everyone, and I didn't even know it.
Samus: I hope you understand why I don't believe you, too much.
Krystal: I suppose I could, but I'm telling the truth. I was happy that I had so many "friends" that... I
thought it was because of my sunny disposition that the boys flocked to me. I didn't even think about
why the other girls didn't like me.
Samus: ...... I apologize. I didn't consider that.
Krystal: That's alright. Anyway, after my friend told me the truth, I was ashamed of myself. Really! I tried
hard to tone it down, for a while. I started wearing heavier clothes, I would try to keep myself away from
other. I would sometimes even push other away...
(As Krystal is talking, her ears droop lower, and she looks down at the floor.)
Samus: ..... It's okay, dear. Here, let me brew you some tea. It does wonders for me.
(Samus brews some chamomile, and hands Krystal a cup.)
Krystal: Thank you. (sips chamomile) Mm. That's pretty good. Thank you. (sigh) Where was I?
Samus: You were saying you were trying to hide yourself.

Krystal: Right. Well, to make a long story short, this is how it went: A female classmate of mine, who was
a lot like what I am, right now, invited me to her room, one night. I was excited, because of the disdain
the other women had, for me, and I thought she wanted to be friends with me. Well, I was right, sort of.
(sips chamomile)
Samus: Sort of? What does that mean?
Krystal: She- We... made love.... It was my first time... I was fifteen, at the time. (sips chamomile) She
taught me so much, that night. After that, I decided that I would no longer hide myself, and that I would
be more... inviting, so to speak. (sips chamomile)
(Silence.)
Samus:Wow. You were right. That is quite a story. No, I believe you. So, in short.... you had one fantastic
night, and that experience changed you into what I see before me, today? (sips chamomile)
Krystal: That's pretty much it. (sigh) Samus, I'm sorry for pressuring you. It's just... you're so tense! I
know about you leading the brawlers, after Mario is gone, and I can imagine how much stress you're
feeling, but girl, you have to relax! That's really what this trip is for. Mario is taking care of everything, so
you don't have to worry. (sips chamomile) Say, here's a thought-
Samus: No.
Krystal: Don't worry. It's not like that. I just want to give you a nice massage. I'll bet your muscles must
be sore from being so tense.
Samus: Well..... I suppose a massage wouldn't hurt anything. And I think I can trust you not to go too far.
Krystal: Of course, you can.
(Samus sits at the edge of the bed, Krystal kneels behind her, and starts massaging Samus' shoulders.
She draws in a sharp breath, and cringes.)
Samus: Ow, ow! What the hell? I thought this was going to help me relax!
Krystal: It's because I have to work through your knotted muscles! Just try to relax yourself, more.
Samus: I don't see how I could- (her eyes suddenly droop, and a contented smile replaces her irritation)
Hmmmmmmmm.
Krystal: See? Now, was this such a bad idea?
Samus: I still think your creepy and perverted. A little lower, please?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ An hour later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Krystal and Samus are lying in bed, naked in each others arms. Samus is asleep.)
Krystal: +Heh. Works every time. Sleep tight, sweetie. I just hope you realize this was for your own
good.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The next day, at breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: Samus? Hey, Samus.
Samus: Hm? Sorry. Daydreaming.
Snake: Yeah, right. I've never seen you daydream. What's up?
Samus: ..... Is it just me, or is everyone around here too damn easy to read? It makes keeping secrets
very difficult.
Snake: Which means you have a secret, and you aren't sure how I'd take it. Oh, wait a minute. It looks
like Mewtwo is going to screw with Luigi, again.
(Mewtwo floats silently next to Luigi, who has his head down, massaging his temples.)
Mewtwo: ..... <GOOD MORNING!>
(Luigi doesn't say or do anything, he just freezes.)
Mewtwo: ..... <Did I get him?>
Peach: Hmm.... Yep. It looks like you short-circuited his brain, this time. He'll probably stay just like that
for at least 10 minutes. Very nice work.
Mewtwo: 
(Mewtwo goes back to his table, laughing evilly the whole way.)
Snake: Heh. We're so horrible to greeny. Anyway, Samus, I believe you were about to tell me your dirty
little secret.
Samus: ..... (gives Snake a nut-tap under the table.)
(Over at Mewtwo's table...)
Gardevoir: <Mewtwo, that was horrible! How could you be so mean to that poor guy?>
Ganondorf: He's done that twice, before, and he'll probably be doing it every chance he gets, in the
future. Besides, I've done the math. Luigi get over his hangover faster when Mewtwo scares him. He's
doing the green guy a favor.
Mewtwo: <Besides, it was funny, and you know it. Come on... laugh.... you know you wanna.>
Gardevoir: ......<Fine. I thought it was funny, and I wanna do it, next time. But I'll feel bad about it
afterwards.>
Mewtwo: <Oh, of course.>
(A little later, Mario holds up his hand for silence.)
Mario: Attention! I've-a double-a-checked with the hospital, and they have confirmed that Falcon will
most certainly be here today, at 3 o'clock. Again, that's-a 3 o'clock, right here. Thank you.
(EXE and Marth are sitting together.)
Marth: {So, out of curiosity, how come you can speak perfect Japanese? I thought Roy and I were the
only ones.}
EXE: {After I found out that you guys spoke ONLY Japanese, I downloaded a patch to allow me to speak,
read and write Japanese. It's one of the handy little things that comes from being a program.}
Marth: {Along with never, ever having to use protection. I didn't know it could be so good.}
EXE: {I know. I was wondering why Roy would ever leave you. You're much nicer than any of the other
partners I've had.}
Marth: {Eh? You mean.... How many others?}
EXE: {Marth, believe me when I tell you this. It is NOT a big deal.}
(EXE gives an abridged explanation of sexuality in the cyber-world.)
Marth: {Huh. I'm not sure if I really like that. There's no intimacy.}
EXE: {I can see why you might think that. On the other hand, in the cyber-world, we aren't burdened by
anything you fleshly beings are weighed down with. We never grow old, we never have to worry about
offspring, and someone had to TELL me about the disease thing. From what I understand, these are the
things that you worry about when it comes to relationships.}
Marth: {Wow. I... I never really thought about it like that. It's kinduv exciting, really.}
EXE: {Yeah, Krystal said pretty much the same thing. Say, if you want, the three of us could... you know.}
Marth: {Together? Hm..... I never thought of that.}
EXE: {I could bring her over, if you want.}
Marth: {Yeah, this is interesting. Let's see what she thinks.}
(EXE calls to Krystal. She gets up, heads over to their table, leaving Fox, Falco and Meta-Knight.)
Fox: That is the opposite of fair.
Falco: It really is. She teases us with that dance, then leaves while I'm speaking.
Meta-Knight: I can't imagine what the big deal is. Really, if you want to be with her so much, why not
just do it? Go over there, and, I don't know, do something. Just don't whine. You're the last people I
would ever expect to hear whine.
Fox: You just don't understand, Meta-Knight. Why do you think we focus the video communicators on
our faces? If we saw any more of Krystal, we'd get distracted. Geez, don't you get excited, sometimes?
MK: (slurps juice through his mask) Nope.
Falco: Never?
MK: Never.
Fox: ..... Why?
MK: Because, I've already found the woman of my dreams, and I love her so much, I couldn't possibly
get excited for anyone else.
Fox: ......... Not quite as shocking as Mewtwo, but I'm still doubting it. Do you have a picture, or
something?
MK: Nope. I've got her up here. (taps head) I don't need pictures, if I can remember that beautiful face...
and, well, the rest of her, too.
Falco: Can you picture a female whatever-Meta-Knight-is, Fox?
MK: Don't bother. The males and females of our race have veeery different bodies.
Fox: Are we ever going to see her?
MK: (slurps juice) Nope.
Falco: Why's that?
MK: (slurps more juice) She's dead. Tried to save her, but couldn't.
(Falco and Fox look at each other, and sigh.)
Fox: Sorry, we didn't know.
MK: Not a problem. It's been a hundred years or so. I'm used to the pain. (slurps juice.)
(They just eat in silence.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Breakfast goes on quietly, each of them having their own issues to deal with. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(11 a.m.)
(Samus and Snake are walking through a store, Luigi and Wario are off somewhere else.)
Samus: This looks nice, but it's the wrong color. Blue and orange are the only colors I look good in.
Snake: How about clear? You'd look very good in clear.
Samus: That's one. So, are you going to tell me about Peach and Zelda, or what?
Snake: Depends. Are you going to tell me about what happened last night, after dinner? It's pretty
obvious that is what it was about.
Samus: ........ Alright. Deal. You go first.
Snake: Fine. It's pretty simple. When you sent me out, the first night, for the standard information
gathering, I heard some strange noises. I flipped on my night-vision, turned up my sound amplifier, and
found out what was going on. Long story short, Peach and Zelda became extremely good friends, if you
know what I mean.
Samus: .... I see. So that's what she was- that is... Peach and Zelda. That's why they seemed unusually
close. They usually don't associate with each other.
Snake: Mm. Well, your turn.
Samus: Oh, uh... You really don't want to hear this. I don't think you'll like it.
Snake: Try me. I'm in a good mood.
Samus: Hmm. I'd better make sure you are when I tell you.
(Samus steps up to Snake, kisses him passionately, and puts his hand on her ass. Without hesitating,
Snake squeezes, making Samus squeak. Moments later, they parted.)
Snake: Alright. I don't think I could be in a better mood.
Samus: Mm.... Last night... Krystal... she gave me a massage, and it felt good, and...
Snake: Ah. Say no more. I see where this is going. I'm... okay with it.
Samus: You're not mad? Wait, what was that pause for?
Snake: Just trying to think of the right word. I wanted to let you know that I am okay with it, and had to
think fast, before you said the whole thing.
Samus: Why?
Snake: I knew what you were about to say, and wanted to save you the embarrassment of having to say
it.
Samus: Snake... Thank you. But... You're really not upset at all that I did it with... a furry?
Snake: Sweetheart, I'm a guy. A guy with a lot of free time, between missions. I happen to think it's fairly
hot. So.... can I watch?
Samus: That's two. Not exactly the way I was expecting this to turn out, but, I guess it's for the better.
So... now what?
Snake: It's only ten-after. Grab that suit, and we'll ask if they have it in the color you want.
Samus: Sounds good. (grabs suit)
Snake: And, while we're at it, let's ask if they have anything that's clear.
(Without a word, Samus gives Snake a nut-tap. Snake grunts and leans over.)
Samus: That's three. And, believe me, it gets worse.
Snake (high voice): I'll be good.
(Noon)
(Bowser, DK, Yoshi, Geno and Mr. Game&Watch are all watching over the children, as they all eat lunch.)
Bowser: Hey, you, the tiny electric one, put that down! Don't make me come over there and whup ya!
Don't think I won't! (sigh) How can a guy enjoy a mountain of burgers if these kids aren't going to
behave?
Bowser Jr.: Mr. Geno, sir?
Geno: Hm? What is it?
Bowser Jr.: Well, I was wondering if I could ask you a question?
Geno: Of course you may. I might not give you an answer, though.
Bowser Jr.: Well... how come I can understand what Yoshi is saying, but not Kirby?
Geno: ...... Hmm..... (bites burger) My first guess would be it's because both you and Yoshi are reptiles,
of sorts. Tell me, can you understand Donkey Kong?
Bowser Jr.: I dunno. I've never heard him try to talk.
DK: {Can you understand what I'm saying, right now?}

Bowser Jr.: Uh, that was at me, right? I don't got a clue what you're saying.
Geno: Hmm, interesting. I'm sorry, young one, but it seems you're at a bit of a disadvantage. I don't
understand why, but it seems you can only understand your own language, and other reptiles. If we get
another reptile-type newcomer, we'll test it out, then.
Bowser Jr.: Aww. This bites.
(Everyone eats normally, until....)
DK: {Yoshi? Are you okay? You look different.}
Yoshi: {I feel different. I feel... I'm not sure. It's kind of like whenever Baby Mario gets taken away from
me.}
DK: {What, angry?}
Yoshi: {A little. I don't really get it.}
(Bowser snickers, and tosses back another burger.)
G&W: <Hey, Geno. You know how those feelings of doom were vague?>
Geno: <Mm. It's getting more and more clear. I think it's going to happen soon. Let's be quiet about it,
but stay ready.>
(Geno tucks his left hand under his cape, and slowly transforms it into the Star Gun. He quietly eats with
his right hand.)
(About 10 minutes before 3 o'clock, and a few blocks from the hotel. Without any warning, Yoshi
doubles over, and collapses.)
Yoshi: {Huuuurrrgh! Whats's going on?}
Bowser: Ha, ha! It must be because your pathetic stomach can't handle it.
Geno: What on earth are you talking about?
Bowser: You remember when I went to the bathroom? I actually went to the chef, and had him hide
chunks of meat in with his fruit! It's good, isn't it, Yoshi? Don't deny it, you like being a carnivore!
DK: {You fool! Do you not know what you've done?! There's a reason why Yoshi doesn't eat meat!}
Geno: Bowser, when Yoshi eats too much meat, his brain goes primal! He's going to go on a rampage,
and kill us all!
DK: {Quick, Yoshi, you have to induce vomiting, maybe then you'll go back to normal!}
Yoshi: {I- I- I- I-} (scrunches eyelids together) {I don't feel like it.}
DK: {What are you talking about? Yoshi, get a hold of yourself!}
Yoshi: {Don't worry, Donkey Kong. I'm feeling alright. Although... I do feel... a little hungry!}
(Yoshi's eyes open wide to reveal that his irises and corneas are blood red. With a roar that scares all the
pedestrians away, he leaps... and lands right on Pichu. However, before Yoshi could do anything, Mr.
Game&Watch hits him with the #9 hammer, sending Yoshi flying across the street. Yoshi lands on his
feet, and advances menacingly.)
Geno: Quickly, Bowser Jr., your brush! Get us out of here! We'll hold him off! Pikachu, with me!
(Pikachu quickly leaps next to Geno, and charges up an electric attack. Geno aims his Star Gun and starts
firing, but Yoshi keeps jumping and rolling out of the way. With his own cry, Pikachu lets loose with a
thunder attack, which hits Yoshi dead-on.)
Geno: That's it, Pikachu! Keep it up! How's our exit coming?
Brush: It's set to take us back to the hotel! Everyone, get through!
(All the children, except Pikachu, go through. Geno starts charging up his gun-arm.)
G&W: <Geno, come on!>
Geno: Alright, Pikachu, let's go!
(Bowser, Game&Watch, and Pikachu jump through. Yoshi shakes off the electricity, and charges again.)
Geno: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
(Geno waits until Yoshi is almost on top of him.)
Geno: GENO BEAM!
(Geno let's loose with a giant beam of energy that sends Yoshi flying far away. He transforms his gun-
arm back to a normal hand, and jumps through the portal. Finally, Bowser Jr. goes through, and the M
disappears.
(After skidding to a stop, Yoshi stands up. The entire left side of his body has been burned by the attack.)
Yoshi: {Hmm. Back at the hotel...)
(Yoshi pops into an egg, and Egg-Rolls down the street at blazing speeds.)
(Back at the hotel, in the dining room, Bowser Jr. lands on the floor, and with a swipe of his brush, the
M disappears.)
Bowser: How was I supposed to know?! Why is this not generally known? You'd think this is the sort of
thing everyone should know.
DK: {Hey, idgit, that's because no one else is dumb enough to bother with it! They're not all selfish-}
(Game&Watch suddenly rings his bell, silencing the two.)
Geno: There's something else we need to be concerned about. Namely, Yoshi. The first thing we need to
do is find the others, and fast.
(Almost as if on cue, the doors open, and some of the other brawlers, including Mario, enter.)
Mario: Ah, you're already-a here! Now, we just have to wait for a few more to arrive, then Captain
Falcon. This is going to be great!
Geno: Listen, Mario! Something's wrong with Yoshi! He- he ate meat, and now he's lost it!
(Wario shoulders his way to the front.)
Wario: What?! Yoshi's gone berserk!? How?
Geno: Bowser mixed in meat with his food. Look, that's not important. What we need to worry about in
handling Yoshi.
Wario: I see.... Here's what you need to do. Yoshi is built for horizontal movement, speed. Mr.
Game&Watch, take the children to the top floor. They'll be safe there, since we're going to be here to
meet Yoshi.
Mario: Meet Yoshi.... OH, NO! FALCON!!
(Suddenly, a voice is heard, far away.)
Falcon: FALCONE... PA-AAAGGHH!!!
(EXE, along with Krystal and all them, burst through the door.)
EXE: MARIO! Something's wrong with Yoshi! He just attacked Falcon! I- I think he might be dead!
Mario: He's-a that close? Game&Watch, take the children and get out of-a here!
Geno: I will go with you, to cover your back!
(Geno, Game&Watch and all the children run to the nearest elevator. Young Link frantically presses the
"up" button. Yoshi stalks around the corner, sees them, and charges.)
Geno: Dammit! Ness! Charge up your PK Flash! I'll keep him busy!
(Ness jumps to the front, and bunches himself up. Above him, small green sparks start to coalesce. Geno
puts forth both hands, and the tips of his fingers open up to reveal small gun-barrels. He spreads his
fingers, and starts firing a wide spray of bullets. Yoshi, unable to simply duck and dodge, is forced to
encase himself in his egg-shield. Moments later, the barrage stops, and Yoshi pops out of the egg... just
in time to be hit by a fully-charged PK Flash. Yoshi is sent flying again, this time, through the wall behind
him.)
Geno: Excellent work, Ness. Let's get going.
(Geno and Ness jump into the elevator with the others, and the doors close. It starts moving towards
the top floor. A long minute later, Yoshi pulls himself out of the hole in the wall.)
Yoshi: {Damn that Geno! I still feel so hungry! Oh, well... I wonder if there's food waiting for me
elsewhere...}
(Yoshi shakes off some dust, and stalks toward the dining hall.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: Alright, how do we stop a berserk Yoshi?
Wario: I'm not sure. Although, my first guess would be... another beast.
Samus: Great, just great. Where are we going to get another raging beast?
Mario: Hmm.... Mega Man, come here.
(EXE steps forward.)
EXE: Mario?
Mario: Here. It's-a your turn, today.
(Mario takes out of his pocket... a Smash Emblem! He hands it to EXE.)
Mario: Go find Yoshi, and-a use the Super Smash.
Yoshi: {Who's looking for me? Oh, right! It's my next meal!}
(They all whirl, to see Yoshi standing there, blood dripping from his chin.)
Yoshi: {I tell ya, all his running sure made Falcon's muscles tasty! A little tough, but soooo full of flavor!
Still.... I NEED MORE!!}
Mario: Now, Mega Man!

(EXE crushes the Smash Emblem in his hand, the fragments turn to light, and sink into his skin. A
moment later, EXE is enveloped in a column of purple light, and he lets out a roar that shakes the whole
room. When the light disappears, this is what's left:)
(EXE lets out another roar, and charges at Yoshi.)
Samus: Good lord! What is that?
Wario: I don't believe it! He just transformed into Gregar!
Mario: Gregar?
Wario: It's an ability from his most recent adventure. Gregar is a creature from the cyberworld of
horrible power. A Cybeast. And Mega Man has just unlocked his power! I seriously hope he's on our
side, because unless you have another of those little coins, we're seriously screwed.
Mewtwo: <You don't have to worry. I can sense it in him... it's like a timer.>
Samus: How can you sense anything? He's a program inside a robot!
Gardevoir: <Our minds are linked. Our power has increased exponentially. This form is fast draining the
power of his body. I estimate that he has about 4 minutes before he reverts.>
(Meanwhile, Gregar-EXE and Yoshi are bashing the hell out of each other. Yoshi is biting and kicking,
while Gregar-EXE is shooting at him with a chain gun, and slashing with terrible claws. This goes on for 3
long minutes, when suddenly, Gregar-EXE does an upward slash with one claw, forcing Yoshi back. In
that instant of vulnerability, Gregar-EXE pulls back his claw, and thrusts it deep into Yoshi's chest. Yoshi
stops.... blood pours from his mouth.... he brings his head back down, and for the longest time, he stares
into the wild eyes of Gregar-EXE. With a gurgling sigh, Yoshi droops. Gregar-EXE pulls his claw out, and
Yoshi's dead form collapses.)
Peach: Yoshi... he's.... (her eyes brim with tears)
Mario: I know...
(Peach falls, sobbing, into Mario. A moment later, Gregar-EXE flashes, and turns back to regular Mega
Man EXE. He stands for a moment, then collapses. Mario pulls Peach off her, and she falls onto Luigi,
who is crying along with her. Mario, weeping openly, walks over to Yoshi, kneels next to him, and closes
his eyes.)
Mario: I'm-a so sorry, Yoshi. Truly, you were a great comrade, and an even greater friend. I... You will be
missed.
(The funerals for Yoshi and Falcon have just been held in the newly "built" grand hall. It's now two weeks
before Brawl.)
(Fox, Falco, Krystal, Meta-Knight, EXE and Marth are in the Great Fox, taking an extra-dimensional trip to
EXE's world.
EXE: It's a great idea to go to my world. You guys will love it. We've taken care of a lot of the worst net-
crime, and it's nice and peaceful.
Fox: Peace... That's what we need. I'm tired of all the angst. I need a real vacation.
Falco: Here, here!
Krystal: I gotta agree. I become a brawler, and two days later, I witness two brutal murders. Is that the
norm?
Meta-Knight: I think those were the first. The angst, however, is thick pretty much all the time. Just what
I need.
EXE: Come on, guys! Where we're going, you won't have to worry about a thing! Seriously, relax. And,
Krystal, you have to admit that, right up until that incident, it was fun.
Krystal: Hm, yeah. I can't believe how much actually happened, in such a short amount of time. But, it
was sooo much fun! Right, Marth?
(Marth grins, and moves his eyebrows up and down rapidly.)
EXE: Exactly. It's going to be great. Hey, I bet I could get Lan's dad to invent a device that'll put your
minds into the Cyberworld!
Falco: But, wouldn't that kind of make it so that we could die, if deleted?
EXE: Nah. I'm very strong, in the Cyberworld, and you all have your own ways to defend yourselves.
MK: Hmm...
Fox: What?
MK: Mm... It's probably nothing.
EXE: Nice try, but I've seen too many TV shows and movies where people die because someone says "It's
probably nothing."
MK: True. And, it's happened to us. I just can't help but think that something's going to happen, you
know?
Fox: He's got a point. Although, it's been a while since anything happened, right?
MK: Wrong. The only reason nothing's happened is because we had the Yoshi incident. It's only a matter
of time before stuff starts happening, again.
Krystal: Meta-Knight's right. We should definitely try to relax, but don't really let your guard down.
EXE: I'm telling you guys, nothing's going to happen. Besides, even if something goes wrong, I can
activate my Gregar form at any time I want, inside the Cyberworld, so we most certainly have nothing to
worry about.
MK: Really? Yeah, you're probably right. I'm just over-reacting.
Marth: (Japanese stuff)
Krystal: What's he saying?
EXE: He said that the only reason for anything bad happening is that it's part of some weird-ass plot in a
bad story.
All: ........ Nah.
(Fox activates the hyper-drive, and they punch through the dimensional divide.)
Falco: Woah. Did anyone else feel that?
Fox: We just crossed dimensions. Of course we're going to feel weird.
EXE: I think I know what Falco's talking about. Don't worry about it. It's only when we visit parallel
dimensions that there are major changes. Believe me, we'll be fine.
(Silence.)
Krystal: ..... So, if the rest of us can access the Cyberworld... we'll be able to get all the benefits that you
will get?
EXE: What do you- Oh, right... I'm not sure. To be honest, though, I'm not sure if you want to
experiment. After all, it probably wouldn't be safe for you flesh-bags to do something we don't fully
understand.
Krystal: Oh, balls. And here, I was hoping.
(More silence.)
Falco: Are we getting close?
Fox: A few more hours until we get into orbit, and then we go down in Arwings.
Falco: Mm....
Fox: Something up?
Falco: .... Well, it's just that... at the academy, do you remember how our professor kept calling our
brains supercomputers?
Fox: Yeah?
Krystal: Right, I remember that. So?
Falco: Well... if our brains are super-computers, and our brains are the ones traveling in the Cyberworld,
so to speak, wouldn't that make us, well, kind of omnipotent?
(Stunned silence.)
Krystal: That's it, no more talking. I can already tell that this is going to take too damn long, and it's going
to give me a head-ache. We can discuss this stuff when we're about to hook ourselves up to a computer,
okay?
(And so, they speed on towards EXE's home-world, with that thought pounding in their heads.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the Brawl Mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit and Zelda have made their relationship known to everyone, by now. Strangely enough, the only one
who seemed upset by it was Young Link. He's sitting with Link in the mess hall, eating lunch together.)
Y. Link: I don't get it! I thought I was supposed to save HER, and then WE live happily ever after? Isn't
that how it goes?
Link: Not a chance, kiddo. Don't worry, though. You'll have enough love in your life, believe me.
Y. Link: What's that mean?
Link: ...... Tell me, do you know the facts of life?
Y. Link: What? Oh, you mean Murphy's Law, and all that?
Link: No, no. Didn't anyone teach you the birds and the bees?
Y. Link: What? What are you talking about? Wouldn't you know when you learned about it, anyway? You
are kind of me, after all.
Link: Hm. Now that you mention it, I don't remember when I learned it, or who even taught me. I guess I
sort of figured it out on my own... no, it wasn't like that.... Man, I wish I could remember.
Y. Link: How come you don't?
Link: I'm not sure. Maybe I should go see the Doc. This is too weird. Yeah, I'm going to see the Doc.
Y. Link: Okay, but before you go, could you answer one last question?
Link: What's that?

Y. Link: I just visited Ruto, Malon, Saria and Nabooru, but in your time. How come they're acting funny
around me? They get really close to me. It's kinda creepy. Could you talk with them?
Link: Eh? Uh, can't. You're on your own with this one.
Y. Link: Huh? How come?
Link: Um, here's a life lesson: When you're around grown-up women, be VERY careful what you say.
Besides, you're supposed to be courageous. I think you can talk to a few ladies without losing it.
Y. Link: I don't know. I kinda like it, but it's weirding me out. I just don't understand how I'm supposed to
feel.
Link: Ah, jeez. You're at that age, that's right. You know what? I'm going to visit the Doc. You go ask
someone else, because I'm definitely the wrong person to talk to about this.
(Link walks away. Y. Link goes back over to the other young ones.)
Ness: So, did you find out what's with those ladies?
Y. Link: I'm not sure. I think he gave me a bit of a hint, but that's it. I'm really confused. I really wish
someone around here could help me.
Popo: Why not just ask Wario? He knows everything, you know.
Y. Link: I don't know. I get the feeling that he's not the right person to ask.
Nana: Then just ask Mario, or Miss Aran, or Miss Zelda. I'm sure any of them will explain it to you.
Y. Link: Hey, yeah! I'll do that!
Pikachu: Pika, pikachu! Chu, pika.
Kiryby: Puyo. Puyo puyo puyo, puyo.
Bowser Jr.: What'd he say?
Ness: He said that Pikachu thinks it'd be a good idea for all of us to learn this stuff, and I think they're
right. Besides, I'm bored, and I won't have to go through this, myself, later!
Bowser Jr.: Great! After this, we'll go to Mario, and Lil' Link can ask him, and we'll all know!
Nana: Okay. But first, dessert!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Roy is sitting alone, picking at his food.)

Geno: Problems?
Roy: (Japanese)
Geno: I'm assuming all that gibberish was just a long "yes." (takes a seat) Wait, hang on, let me guess....
You're definitely down about something... Is it..... Marth?
Roy: (Annoyed Japanese)
Geno: Sounds like I hit a sensitive spot. You... miss him? Because he's on vacation, and didn't invite you?
Roy: (Even more annoyed Japanese)
Geno: I'm getting warmer. Now, this is a complete stab in the dark, but... you're starting to regret
breaking up with him. Am I right?
(Roy suddenly stands up, turns over the table, draws his Sword of Seals, and points it at Geno's throat.
Everyone stops and stares.)
Geno: I'm just a puppet, Roy. Impaling me will do nothing. Literally.
(Roy's eyes twitch, and suddenly, flames travel down the blade.)
Geno: Ah. I forgot about the Flare Blade. Well, if you want to talk, I'll be around.
(Geno walks away. Roy sighs, sheathes his sword, and walks out a different way. Slowly, everyone
returns to their meals. Over by Samus...)
Samus: (sigh) I guess it was only a matter of time.
Snake: (chomps burger) What's that about?
Samus: This peace. I swear, it's been less than a week, but weird crap is starting, again. I'm almost afraid
of how it's going to end, this time.
Snake: Don't worry. I'm sure nothing really bad is going to happen, anytime soon.
Samus: What makes you say that?
Snake: Well, for someone else to go berserk, or for someone else to die, or even another Deus Ex
Machina like Mega Man EXE turning into Gregar... that's just bad authoring.
Samus: .... What?
Snake: Er, sorry. I mean, for that stuff to happen again, it's like lighting striking twice in the same spot.
Samus: Uh...huh. (slowly chews salad) Anyway... Oh, what's your status with your job?
Snake: Which job? You've got me working at least 3 at once.
Samus: The one involving me being leader. Is it going well?
Snake: Oh, that one. Actually, something strange came up.
Samus: Yeah? What's that?
Snake: Have you been paying close attention to Mr. Game&Watch and Geno, at all?
Samus: I haven't, but now that you mention it, something does seem strange, between them.
Snake: Exactly. I've talked with Wario, and even he doesn't know what's going on. So, I did a bit of
snooping, and it seems they're planning something. Something that could be big. Hell, I wouldn't be
surprised if they were communicating, somehow.
Samus: How could they do that? Nobody can understand Mr. Game&Watch, not even Mewtwo.
Snake: Hmm.... Nobody can understand Game&Watch... not even Mewtwo.... not just Mewtwo....
Samus: Okay, you're going all introspective on me. What's up?
Snake: ...... I... have a cunning plan. (Note: Major cookie to anyone who knows what this is from.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Link is sitting in Doc's exam room, and Doc is giving him a once-over.)
Doc: The good news is that I found nothing wrong with-a you. All your vitals are in-a the green, and
you're in-a good physical condition. I'd-a have to give you a deeper examination, but so far, I think
you're problem is-a psychological.
Link: Really? So, who can I go to?
Doc: Well.... a more thorough physical examination would be costly, and take more time than I'm-a
comfortable with. If there is a problem.... it's-a more likely that it's-a psychological. Also, if it is in your
head, it'll be faster to have a psychic check you out.
Link: Wait, you're saying... I have to convince Mewtwo to give me a brain exam?
Doc: I'm sorry. I know that it'll-a be hard, but I'm sure you'll be able to pull it off.
Link: Great. Why couldn't you just tell me I have some horrible brain-disease, and I'm guaranteed to die?
(Link walks out of the room. Doc lets out a big whoosh of breath.)
Doc: Well, I think I'm over it. I can finally tell my patients the truth. I can sleep peacefully, now.
(Doc pulls out some documents, leafs through them, and stops on one profile.)
Doc: Mr. Game&Watch.... you're a puzzle, indeed.... you're not like I was-a expecting. Not at all.... What
are-a you hiding?
(The Fox gang, after wading through complication after complication, find themselves on EXE's
homepage, in the Cyberworld.)
Fox: And you're sure Lan won't mind just letting you go?
EXE: It's cool. He's got homework, anyway, and he lets me go all the time. It was a simple matter to set a
few of my more common battle-chips so that I can use them at will. Of course, if we get into a huge
bind, I can get Lan to help me. Although, I checked already, and nothing big is going on. We'll be fine.
Marth: It's a shame that my omnipotence thing didn't work out.
(Shock.)
Falco: ..... How?
EXE: I'm not sure.... I think it's because..... I think it's like there's only one universal language, here in the
Cyberworld.
Krystal: That's probably not true, at all, but this is something to talk about later. What now?
EXE: Well... I could give you the basic tour, teach you how fighting works in this place, and all that.
Ooor... we can meet up with a few of my "friends."
Fox: Uh-uh. No sex. I'm sorry, but it's too early in the morning for that.
Krystal: It's never too early.
EXE: Actually, Fox is right.
Fox: I am?
EXE: Well, no. Anytime is a good time, in this place, but it probably would be a good idea for you to
familiarize yourselves with the way things work. I think you guys are the very first to experience this, so
we should maybe test how far this goes. Come on, we'll start in an area that's not very tough, at all.
(They stand on a warp-point, and are transported to a different area. They head out.)
MK: That's something I don't quite understand, though. How come the strong enemies are never around
here? I mean, it looks like an easy job, to just take over this place.
Falco: Dammit, this is a vacation. Thinking is to be kept to a minimum.
Krystal: Falco's totally right. Let's just watch Blue Boy do his thing, and then we'll try it.
EXE: Alright. You guys stay here, and I'll show you a virus battle.
(EXE walks around a bit, initiates a battle, and wins.)
EXE: See? Piece of cake.
MK: Very nice. I think I'll try it first.
EXE: ‘K. You just keep moving until you encounter a virus, and then let it come to you naturally. It's like
regular fighting, but with different battle mechanics.
(Meta-Knight initiates a battle. While he's fighting, the rest talk.)
Marth: It seems easy enough. I'd still like to know-

Krystal: Vacation. No thinking.
Marth: No, it's not that. I'm just wondering why the mechanics are like that.
EXE: Oh, that? The reason is pretty simple: A long time ago, these mechanics were agreed upon by a
representative of evil, and a representative of good. Since then, every time some area of the Net or any
little branch Cyberworld is created, it is automatically put under these strict regulations, kind of like a
neutral, middle-ground virus.
Fox: Hm. I can see how that is tactically sound. After all, with a neutral battle-field, the battle is decided
solely on the strength of the fighters.
EXE: Exactly.
(Meta-Knight finishes off the virus, and returns to the group.)
MK: Hardly a challenge, but amusing, nonetheless.
Fox: My turn!
(And so, it goes, each with their own turn. Eventually...)
EXE: Well, I think you all know the basics, and you all seem to have a knack with this. You might be at
least partially right, Marth. Perhaps your human brains really do lend you some power.
Marth: Meh. It's probably just because we've all faced tougher opponents, several times.
EXE: Well, in that case.... perhaps we should go deeper. Come on, we'll take a shortcut.
(They step onto another warp-point, and flash to a much darker area.)
EXE: Welcome... to the Undernet.

Krystal: Isn't this where all that creepy stuff happens? I thought we were going to wait on it.
EXE: We are. The creepy stuff happens over there.
(EXE points to a separate area, disconnected from the rest of the area.)
Falco: So? I could probably jump that distance, easily.
EXE: Not a chance. The area off the paths are negative space, and would repel you, violently. Trust me,
you don't want to try it.
Fox: That's a little lame.
EXE: Perhaps. Anyway, the battles here are going to be much, much tougher. I'll give you a
demonstration, so you can see what you're up against.
(EXE initiates a battle, fights, and wins.)
Krystal: Huh. That's not bad. Lemme try.
(Suddenly, a powerful voice resonates through the area.)
?: VERY WELL. I WILL BE YOUR OPPONENT.
EXE: What? No, it can't be! Everyone, get out! Now!
(Too late. Darkness enshrouds Krystal, and a figure darts into the cloud. A moment later, the cloud
"hardens" into a glossy shell.)
Fox: What just happened?! Who is that?!
EXE: Oh, I'm so sorry! I had no idea he was still around, let alone in this area! She was supposed to fight
a virus, but now...
Falco: Dammit, man, tell us what's going on!
EXE: I'm sorry. I don't know what's going to happen to her. She's guaranteed to be defeated.
(Marth suddenly grabs EXE by the forehead.)
Marth: NO HYSTERICS! Tell us what's happening!
(Marth lets go. EXE stumbles back, then regains his composure.)
EXE: Thank you. I needed that. Alright. The person she's fighting against right now is another navi, but
this navi is the most powerful on the Net. He doesn't have an operator, but instead, works on his own,
with a few programmed moves, like me, right now. However, his strength is... his power is beyond
anything I've seen.
MK: What? I thought you are the most powerful on the Net.
EXE: I am. I mean, I have defeated him, in the past. However, I'm very ill-prepared, this time. And
Krystal... I'm afraid she doesn't have a chance.
Falco: Dammit! What gives? When we're in the mansion, there's drama. Everywhere else, we get
attacked!
Fox: Alright, Mega Man. We have to think. If what you say is true, then we have very little time. Get Lan
over here, and we'll come up with something.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time, back at the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake is hiding out near the portal to the 2D world.)
Snake: +Good lord, that woman gets a hunch, and sends me off right away. I swear, sometimes, I don't
even know why I love that woman. She's great company, and all, but... Ah, well. Maybe it would be
better to leave it alone. I'm pretty happy with her. Although, I could do without all the ball shots. Hang
on, what have we here?+
(Geno turns a corner, and walks right up to the portal. He glances around for a moment, and enters.
After he steps through, the portal turns purple, signifying that no one else can enter.)
Snake: +Huh. Yeah, there's definitely something going on. Well, better report back to the boss.+
(Snake heads to Samus' room. Inside, he finds Samus with Ganondorf, Mewtwo and Gardevoir.)
Snake: Ah, excellent. So good of you to join us.
Samus: Alright, Snake. Would you care to tell me what this is about?
Ganondorf: Yeah. Whudja call us here for?
Snake: Samus, do you remember when I said I have a cunning plan, at lunch, today?
Samus: I do. What of it?
Snake: You said that not even Mewtwo can really delve into Game&Watch's mind. The thing is, you
forgot that we have TWO powerful psychics. Gardevoir said that when she's linked with Mewtwo, their
power is exponentially greater than when they're alone.
Ganondorf: Which means they have the power to crack open any mind...
Samus: ... including the mind of Mr. Game&Watch.
Snake: Exactly!
Mewtwo: <Woah, woah! I'm sorry, but I already got a glimpse of that guy, and I don't want to even risk
going back.>
Gardevoir: <Dear, what's wrong? When did you look into his mind?>
Ganondorf: Was that the time you had to withdraw your mind?
Gardevoir: <You had to withdraw? Miss Aran, I'm sorry, but if my love is afraid, then we're not doing
anything.>
Mewtwo: <NO! No, not afraid. I told you, Ganondorf, I panicked. I- ... Now that I think about it,
Game&Watch isn't threatening. He simply has a mind that I wasn't expecting at all. Now, Geno, on the
other hand...>
Samus: What's up with Geno? He's from a higher plane of existence. You got spooked by the unfamiliar
mind-set, I bet.
Mewtwo: <No, there's something else, with him. And, by the way, the two of them shared- well, I don't
think shared is the right word... it's more like they had the same kind of power, but... I don't know how
to describe it. It felt like this power was... dormant, kind of.>
Snake: Like it couldn't be fully tapped? At least, not in this world?
Mewtwo: <That's it! But, how did you know?>
Snake: I saw Geno go into the 2D realm, where Game&Watch lives. Would it be possible for this
dormant power to be awakened, in the 2D realm?
Mewtwo: <I... I suppose it's possible. But, how do we know?>
Ganondorf: Tactical covert analysis from a safe distance. You and Gardevoir "stroll" by, and get a
reading. If you even get a whiff of this power, but maybe on a larger scale, then we know. Simplicity in
itself.
Snake: Ganondorf... I'm surprised. I didn't know you knew about this sort of stuff.
Ganondorf: At what point in time did I drop hints that I'm dumb? Beneath all the insane evil and
muscles, I still have the tactical cunning of a Gerudo. Besides, when a well-thought-out plan comes
together, the look on the eyes of the enemy is absolutely priceless.
Snake: Wow. I'm impressed. I might take you drinking, tonight.

Samus: Dear.
Snake: Anyway... does this plan seem sound to the two of you?
Gardevoir: 
Mewtwo: <If she's in, then I'm in. We'll be back in ten minutes.>
(Gardevoir and Mewtwo leave. Samus just stares at Snake.)
Snake: ...... WHAT?!
Samus: You know what.
Snake: I haven't a damn clue what you're talking about.
Samus: Well, if you don't know what's wrong, then maybe I won't tell you.
Snake: Alright, but don't be surprised when it happens again.
(Ganondorf pulls Snake aside, and drops his voice to a very low tone.)
Ganondorf: Don't mess with her, Snake. I can sense it in her. She's on her monthy days.
Snake: Month- Oh. I gotcha.
Ganondorf: Next week, we drink. Remember it.
(All the children are standing outside Mario's office.)
Y. Link: Alright, so we go in there, and ask him about the birds and the bees.
Ness: How come they call it that?
Popo: That's something else to ask him.
Kirby: Puyo puyo, puyo puyo puyo.
Popo: You're right, Kirby. We should maybe build up to that question. I mean, the adults seem to make a
big deal out of it. This is something we gotta do non-chalantly.
Bowser Jr.: Non-sha-what?
Nana: I heard Miss Aran say it. I think it means subtle.
Y. Link: Alright...... I got it. Let's go.
(Young Link knocks on the door, and opens up.)
Y. Link: Mario? Do you have a minute?
Mario: Ah, it's-a the little ones! Of course, come in. What can I do for you all?
Ness: Well, we're all a little confused about something, and we were wondering if you could help us.
Mario: Of course. What's-a the matter?
Y. Link: Okay, it goes like this... I visited Hyrule, recently, and I noticed that I feel funny... around some of
the girls.
Mario: I... see. Funny, how?
Y. Link: It's like I'm seeing them differently. Like, before, I wouldn't give them a second glance, but now,
it's like... I don't know. I talked to my future self, and he just said ‘I'm at that age.' Whatever that means.
So, I talked with the guys, and we decided it had something to do with the birds and the bees you adults
make such a big deal about.
Mario: Oh, dear. I suppose you want me to explain-a the birds and the bees to you? You feeling funny,
and all that.
Ness: Please? Besides, this is probably something we really need to know.
Mario: ...... Not really..... Um, Link, are you the only one who feels-a this?
Y. Link: Uh, I think so. Do any of you guys feel it, too?
(Silence. Then...)
Pikachu: Pika pi. Pikachu.
Y. Link: Kirby?
Kirby: Puyo puyo, puyo. Puyo puyo.
Y. Link: He says that both Pikachu and him are feeling it.
Mario: Hmm..... Well... I'm not sure I'm-a the right person to explain it to Kirby and Pikachu. Link, you
stay here. Pikachu, I recommend you find Gardevoir, since she'll-a certainly know what to tell you. Kirby,
when Meta-Knight gets-a back, talk to him. The rest of you, you can learn this later, when it's-a your
time.
(The other young'ns whine and moan. Mario holds up a hand for silence.)
Mario: Believe me, this is-a no small matter. This is-a something you should only learn about when
you're ready. It seems that these three are ready. The rest of you, you're time will come, eventually.
Now, go.
(All the children, except Young Link, leave. Young Link takes a seat in front of Mario's desk.)
Y. Link: So? What's this all about?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Roy is sitting alone, in the room he shares with Marth. He's just staring at Marth's bed, memories
playing over and over in his head.)
Roy: ..... {What the hell am I thinking? I'm not like that, anymore. It's time to stop living in the past, and
embrace the man, er, BE the man I am...... it was always so fun around him.... I do miss him, though. I'll
bet he's having fun, right now.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the Cyberworld on EXE's world ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Marth: This is the opposite of fun. What did you say is the name of that guy, in there?
EXE: I didn't say. I suppose I should give you a bit of background.
Falco: But she's in there, with him! We don't have time to listen to a little story.
MK: Wait, Falco. It might be a good idea to hear this. The more we know, the better.
EXE: Thank you. Alright, here's the short version: This guy is one of the very first products of the
Cyberworld. He was meant to be a supreme over-lord, but in the name of justice, and all that is good. He
was designed to be able to police the whole Net, to be able to take on the worst that net-crime had to
offer.
Fox: I'm hearing "was" a lot. What happened?
EXE: We're still not sure. Our best guess is that, somewhere along the way, he decided to not do his
programmed duty. He had been given a certain amount of free will, in order to help him do his job.
However, that free will is probably what caused him to go rogue, and he's been that way, ever since.
Marth: Huh.... So, what is his name?
EXE: When he was still in development, his codename was Allegro, and before he went rogue, his name
was Legato. However, for most of his rogue years, he has been called.... Bass.
MK: Bass? What's with the musical terms?
EXE: It's how most of the programs were categorized. It's like Latin, for the animal kingdom.
MK: Ah, of course. So, what was your name?
EXE: Eh? Oh, I believe my codename was Rock, like rock and roll.
Marth: Fine, fine. Didn't you imply that this guy has changed his name, again?
EXE: Oh, of course. You see, a while back, I defeated Bass, but he apparently fused with a super-virus
named Gospel. Recently, his fusion was completed, and he goes by a new name: Forte.
Fox: Forte, terrific. So it's an all-powerful lone-wolf navi, and right now, it's fighting against Krystal.
Falco: Hang on, Fox. We don't know what's going on, in there. All we know is that... Krystal is in there,
with that... thing.
EXE: I'm sorry, but I don't know what we can do. The only thing we can do is wait for this to end. All we
can do... is wait.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the mansion... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno once again is in the 2D realm with Mr. Game&Watch.)
G&W: So, how goes your little mission with Mario?
Geno: Eh? I told you before, it's in the bag. Don't worry about it.
G&W: Really? Well, then... why are you here?
Geno: ...... I think some of them are catching on, that there's something going on. I'm not positive, but
they might be a problem.
G&W: Hm. I see your concern. However...... I don't think it's anything to worry about. Unless, of course,
you think they might make a move before you. When are you going to put your little plan into action,
anyway?
Geno: Patience, friend. I'm just waiting for the right moment. It involves everyone, in a way, so it would
be best if everyone were present.
G&W: Really? Let me guess... You're going to force Mario into a situation where he can't possibly say no,
right?
Geno: Perhaps. Just trust me when I say you don't have to worry about Mario.
G&W: Oh, I trust you... I trust you.
Geno: I certainly hope you do......
G&W: Anyway, who exactly is suspecting us?
Geno: So far, it looks like Samus, Snake, and they've called a couple others into this, but I'm not sure
who. Proba- (eyes go wide, then narrow) You feel that?
G&W: Yup. Someone's trying to figure us out. (sigh) It's like they think we're enemies.
Geno: Well...... why don't we tell them our intentions? After all, it's for the good of everyone here.....
right?
G&W: Hmm....
Geno: I said, this thing with Mario is for the greater good, right?
G&W: I heard that tone. Don't you even try to contest me. You have no chance to survive, against me.
Especially in this world.
Geno: ....... Fine. Anyway, it's getting late. I'm going to bed.
(Geno opens the portal, and steps through, closing it after him.)
G&W: ...... Something will be done.... Later.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in Samus' room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: That was quick. So, what did you find out? Anything good?
Mewtwo: <Oh, I should say so. The energy signatures were much larger than expected. Well, to be more
accurate, they were larger, but one of them dwarfed the other.>
Ganondorf: It was probably Game&Watch's energy that was larger.
Samus: What makes you say that?
Ganondorf: Think about it: That place where Game&Watch lives is a true 2D world. It only makes sense
for him to be master of his own domain. As for Geno, it's different from his own world in even more
ways than this place. You said the two powers are similar, though, right?
Mewtwo: <That's right. I'm not sure why, though. Unless the place where Geno comes from is very
similar to the 2D world, there's no reason for their energy to be so... similar... Now that I think about it,
though... Help me out, love.>
Gardevoir: 
Snake: Uh, in English, please?
Gardevoir: <Geno came to us as he normally is. However, he met with Mr. Game&Watch, and
probably... borrowed... some of his energy.>
Samus: What? Why the hell would Game&Watch give Geno energy? What purpose is there for
something like that?
Gardevoir: <I'm.... I'm not sure. Mewtwo? Any ideas?>
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: (cough) They have a deal.

Snake: A deal?
Ganondorf: I'm guessing that's what's going on. Geno... he agreed to help Game&Watch with
something, and received some energy, for whatever reason.
Mewtwo: <So, what, they're working together? What are you saying?>
Ganondorf: I'm saying they're planning something. And, whatever it is, they want to keep it a secret.
Samus: Wow.... Well, we have quite a bit to absorb. Everyone, get some sleep. We will discuss this
further, tomorrow.
Ganondorf: Wait, just like that?
Gardevoir: <Samus is right. This is a serious situation, but we mustn't let ourselves get tired. Otherwise,
we might start drawing faulty conclusions, and make rash decisions.>
Snake: ..... Fair enough. (Snake leaves the room.)
Snake: +Tomorrow, again? That concept is starting to become annoying. I can only hope it doesn't
happen, anymore.+
(Fox and the gang are sitting in the Cyberworld, waiting on the impenetrable dome of darkness. Almost
an hour has passed.)
(Silence.)
Falco: Hey, Mega Man.
EXE: Hm?
Falco: Tell us, honestly... what are her chances?
EXE: (sigh) ........ They're actually improving, I think.
Fox: Really? What do you mean?
EXE: There are two ways to defeat an opponent, in the cyberworld: very quickly, and taking your sweet
time. In the case of Forte, he usually makes it quick. He always makes his kills fast. As far as we know, it's
possible that he doesn't have the stamina to take it slow.
Marth: So, the longer they're in there... the better a chance she has of surviving.
EXE: I'm sorry, Marth, but I don't know that, for sure. It's more likely that, because of Bass fusing with
Gospel, and turning into Forte, he's gained all the energy he needs to take his time with his.... with his
deletions. Although, it is quite possible that Krystal is slowly gaining the upper hand. I know that, when I
battle him, I always take my time. I analyze his movements, his pattern of attack, to make sure that
every one of my attacks hit.
Falco: Hmm....... That doesn't really give us much to go on. It's just another uncertainty.
EXE: I know, I'm sorry. I really wish I could tell you guys more, but the truth is, he's hiding in what is
basically the center of this great big stronghold we call the cyberworld. It's hard to gather information
on him. All we can do is retaliate as best we can.
(Silence.)
Marth: So, they're fighting on that grid in there?
EXE: Yup.
Marth: ..... Then... what's the purpose of the shield?
Fox: ...... What do you mean?
Marth: I mean, when we fought earlier... Mega Man, is it possible to interfere when a battle has been
initiated?
EXE: Not really. There's a strong fire-wall that's put up around the field of battle, usually to prevent the
stronger combatants from destroying the Net. What are you getting at, Marth?
Marth: So, with a normal battle, outsiders can't interfere?
EXE: No, they can't. Marth, what's going through your head?
Marth: ..... I think they aren't fighting under your normal rules, in there. They're fighting- well, they're
fighting like they're in a normal fight. Why else would Forte put up that barrier?
EXE: ..... You know, I think he's got it.
Falco: Maybe, this doesn't really help us, now does it?
MK: Wrong. This bodes well for us.
EXE: Say what, now? How is this good?
MK: You've been fighting under these strict regulations. Every time you get into a battle, it's the same
mechanics. When you first fought against us, it was like you were a huge newb to fighting, remember?
EXE: Hey, yeah... Yeah! And I bet Krystal is used to this free-style combat...
Falco: ... But Forte probably isn't. He's forced himself to fight HER way.
EXE: You're right, Fox. This does bode well for us.
(At that moment, the dark, glossy barrier fuzzes, and turns into a black cloud. The others stand ready,
waiting for a target. The cloud dissipates...)
EXE: ...... HUHH?!
Fox: Oh, balls.
MK: Balls, indeed.
(Krystal is kneeling on the floor.... cradling Forte's crying head against her bosom.)
Forte: WHY DID THEY PUT SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME? It's (sob) not (sob) faaaaiirr-hair-hair-
haaaaiiiir!!! (sob)
Falco: W.....T.... goddam-F.
Krystal: Shhh, it's alright, now. No one is putting pressure on you. You can relax, dear. (looks up) Oh...
I'm so sorry about this. He told me his story, being the first on the Net, and all that. Apparently... He
didn't like having so much pressure, being the only one to police the Net. We talked, and... yeah.
Forte: If I screwed (sob) up, they would have (sob) ... DELETED me! Why put everything (sob) on my
shoulders? Haven't they even considered (sob) ME?
EXE: ...... There are levels of wrong here that I can't even begin to comprehend.
Falco: Hm.... Now what?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the morning ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Bass: You guys really mean it? All I have to do is come to this brawl mansion, and all's forgiven?
EXE: That's the deal. Your punishment can be given to you, there.
Bass: Punishment? What punishment?
EXE: Oh, you'll find out. Muhaahaahaaa.
Marth: (cough) For now... what do we do?
Krystal: What do we do? I'll tell you what we do: We go to that "special" part of the Undernet.
Fox: Falco, what happens when a catastrophe meets a disaster?
Falco: I think it's called a catastro*&^%
Fox: That sounds about right.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time, back at the Brawl Mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Gardevoir is sitting alone with Pikachu in Mewtwo's room.)
Gardevoir: ... <And so, that's how it works.>
Pikachu: Pika p-
Gardevoir: Pikachu, just think what you wish to say. I'll pick up on it.
Pikachu: +Really? Can you hear me?+
Gardevoir: <Loud and clear, dear.>
Pikachu: +Neat. So, the reason I'm feeling all this is because my body is telling me it's time to make more
of me?+
Gardevoir: <No, no. Your body is telling you that you're READY to reproduce. You don't HAVE to, right
away, if you don't wish to. It's up to you. However, I'd like to give you this advice: Find a mate that you
can be with for a long time. Trust me, it will be worth it.>
Pikachu: +Oh, you mean love? I don't think I'll do that.+
Gardevoir: <Why in the world wouldn't you? It's such a wonderful thing. Ask Mewtwo. You know...>
(conspiratorial check) <... he pretends to be bad, and all that, but he's a little sweetie.>
Pikachu: +Really? Well... I just don't want to go through that hassle. I mean, when my friend Butterfree
fell in love, she just rejected him. He had to risk his life to get her to give him another chance.+
Gardevoir: <Well, did they fall in love? Did they mate?>
Pikachu: +I think so. But, the point is that I don't want to have to go through something so troublesome,
for just a chance.+
Gardevoir: <Hmm..... Tell me... when Yoshi attacked... you protected your friends. Why?>
Pikachu: +Eh? They're my friends. Of course I would- Oh. I see.+
Gardevoir: <You risked your life for your friends, did you not? When you fall in love, it's the same thing.>
Pikachu: ..... +So... why can't I just have friends? Do I have to fall in love?+
Gardevoir: <Of course not, dear. It's all up to you. I can only show you the choices, but you have to make
them.>
(Pikachu hops down, and walks out. He wanders the halls for a bit.)
Pikachu: +I wonder if I can be like Krystal. I can smell many mates on her. She seems happy, too. Maybe
I'll talk to her. Oh, wait, she can't understand me. Meh, I'll figure something out.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in the mess hall, where breakfast is wrapping up ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are still shoveling food in their mouths, as is their wont.)
Ganondorf: So, tell me (crunches bacon), something I've been wondering, lately. (slams another glass of
milk)
Mewtwo: <Whuzzat?> (sucks down an over-easy bacon)
Ganondorf: About Gardevoir. (folds up toast, and bites half off) Didja do it, yet?
Mewtwo: <Do what, now?> (drinks juice)
Ganondorf: You know. It.
Mewtwo: <Speak English.> (starts to drink another glass o' juice)
Ganondorf: Have you mated?
(Mewtwo's eyes flash purple, he spits out his juice, and the glass crunches into shards.)
Mewtwo: <WHAT!?>
Ganondorf: I'll take that as a no. (wipes juice off his face) Dammit, I'm'a have to take another shower,
now.
(Ganondorf wolfs down some eggs, and leaves. Mewtwo just sits there, his eyes burning purple, holding
the shattered glass in his mental grip. Everyone is staring at him.)
All: .............
(Silence. Quietly, slowly, Wario moves over behind Mewtwo. He wets his finger, and in one, swift
motion, bends his antenna. The glass Metwo had been holding starts grinding down into dust.)
Mewtwo: <Ngaahh Hur-hurrrrrrrr!>
(Wario quickly disengages his finger.)
Wario: Don't worry! He's fine!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, in Geno's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: +Alright, so I know that his other reason isn't exactly the best. However, his desire to stay here... I
can understand him. And, if it's true that Mario's absence really means that Super Smash Brothers
comes to a halt, that brings the rest of the brawlers into the mix. Hmm.... I can't help but wonder if
that's true, though. Since he's lying about his cause being purely benevolent, there are many other
things he could be lying about.+
(A knock at the door.)
Geno: Enter.
(Geno gets up from his bed... and meets Roy.)
Geno: Ah, Roy. I was wondering when you would come around.
Roy: {Japanese}
Geno: Watashiwa Nihongoga eyah wakadimas. (Translation: I don't know Japanese.) Ironically, that's the
only phrase I know. Don't worry, though. I'm going to do something a bit... drastic. I'm here to help.
(Geno closes his eyes. Suddenly, his entire body starts... vibrating. Geno opens his eyes, which have
turned a glowing golden color. A light pours from his eyes, spirals around the room, then steadies in
front of Roy. Geno's body has been turned back into a small doll. The sparkling simply bobs up and
down, slightly.)
Geno: <Roy, can you hear me? Just think, and I'll pick up on it.>
Roy: +Well, I'll be. Hang on, how come you can understand me? Aren't I thinking in Japanese?+
Geno: <Technically, yes and no. You're thinking in Japanese, but the thing about all sentient creatures,
such as you humans, is that your thought patterns speak, as well. So, it's like a universal language all
living things have, but you never know about it.>
Roy: +Um, cool, I guess. So... anyway.+
Geno: <You wish to speak about Marth? About the feelings you have for him?>
Roy: +Right. Um... +
Geno: 
Roy: +Hey, I'm not sure I like you being this deep in my head.+
Geno: <Relax, Roy. I assure you, I can only read the thoughts that translate into this mental language.
That, and your emotions. It makes things much easier for us when I can tell when you're lying, when I'm
pushing you to the edge, and all that. Would you have a seat?>
Roy: +Oh, thank you.+ (Sits down) +I suppose I should start with the obvious. I can remember
everything from those few days when I couldn't speak right, and I really liked those emotions. I mean... I
was happy, to be so close, like that. And he was great in bed, too. Certainly better than some of the
women I've been with. I mean-+
Geno: <Settle down, Roy. You know, I've noticed something, since coming here: People keeping secrets
from one another has been the primary reason for all the drama, and all that crap. You would not
believe how many times I've had to stop myself from just yelling at them to get everything out in the
open. I can tell it's hurting many of them.>
Roy: (sigh) +I suppose you're right. Now, I know how happy I was, and all that, but... I don't think it's
right to be "like that," you know?+
Geno: <Hm, not really, but I can imagine. Here's a bit of advice: If you're getting your panties in a bunch
beca->
Roy: +HEY!+
Geno: <Right, sorry. My point is, if you're upset because you think it's wrong, well, Marth seems pretty
fine with it. So does Mega Man, in fact.>
Roy: +Mega Man? Wait, he's... is he?+
Geno: <Well, he hasn't been shouting it from the roof-tops, but he hasn't been trying to hide it. Mega
Man is bi-sexual. Although, I understand that since he's a program, he doesn't have to care, anyway.
Here's my advice: Talk to Marth and Mega Man. Between the two of them, I'm sure you'll figure this
out.>
Roy: +That's it? Huh. Sounds simple enough, really.+
Geno: <Well, like many other things, it's easier said than done, and all that. Either way, it'll be a couple
days before they return. Until then, just sit tight, a'ight?>
Mario: Hello, everyone! I know it's-a been a while, but I would like everyone to gather in the conference
room at 11 o'clock for a couple announcements. Thank you.
(The PA clicks off.)
Geno: <Hmph. It's probably just more newcomers. Ah, well.>
(The sparkling light that is Geno circles around the doll for a bit, there's a big flash, and Geno is standing
there, full-sized.)
Geno: Well, I think that's all the advice I can give you. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone I'd like
to speak with, before the meeting.
(Geno walks out of the room, followed by Roy, who goes in a separate direction.)
Geno: +Alright, now that that's solved, it's time I got some answers.+
(Pit and Link are taking a break from training. After the thing with Zelda was resolved, they have become
good friends.)
Link: So, who do you think Mario is bringing in, this time?
Pit: Eh? Mario bringing what with the where-now?
Link: The meeting, later. We haven't had a new-comer since Krystal. It's kind of obvious that he's going
to bring someone else in.
Pit: Oh, right.... He's going to bring in all the new-comers before Brawl, right?
Link: Yeah. That's what happened with Melee, anyway. Why?
Pit: I dunno. It's just that we only have 11 new-comers left, and less than two weeks before Brawl.
Link: Less than two weeks? Yeesh, that was fast. Is it just me, or does all of last week seem like a blur, to
you?
Pit: Yeah, I know. Hmm... What do you think about Mario... replacing Falcon and Yoshi?
Link: ....... I never thought about that.... It's a possibility, I guess. So, what are you saying, about having
less than two weeks left?
Pit: Oh, right. Well, Mario introduced Bowser Jr. and Mega Man at the same time. I thought he might try
to speed things up, bring in more, you know?
Link: Two or three at a time? Hmm.... It would be a bit of a strain on everyone if we had to meet a new-
comer every day, wouldn't it?
Pit: So, who's your guess?
Link: Me? ........ He might bring in a new Pokemon character. If he brings in two... a Pokemon character,
and a villain.
Pit: A villain, eh? Yeah, we need more of them. Although, we might meet someone we don't quite
expect. I mean, we've met some of the more obvious characters.
Link: Hey.... wanna bet who's going to be in? It's going to be a villain, and someone else.
Pit: ..... A'ight. If the other character is unexpected, you have to go around for a whole day without your
cap.
Link: What? I've never gone a day without my cap. I think I was born wearing this.
Pit: Take it or leave it.
Link: Urrgh. Fine. However, if I'm right, and it's a Pokemon, you cook me whitetail, got it?
Pit: Deal.
Link: Let's see... It's 10:40. Wanna get going?

Pit: Sure. I gotta put on a fresh toga, though. You really ought to think about putting on a different tunic,
yourself.
Link: True, true. See ya there.
(Pit and Link head to their rooms.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Wario and Luigi are at the foosball table. The score is 6-8, Luigi's favor.)
Wario: I got twenty bucks that says we get a villain, today.
Luigi: I don't-a wanna listen to you, or your freakish talking money. Besides, he's-a going to bring in more
than one new-comer.
Wario: What makes you so sure? (Luigi scores.) BALLSACK!
Luigi: I could-a hear it in his voice. Besides, he said a "couple" announcements. The items are kept a
surprise, until the end, as are the stages. If there were some sort of news, we would have heard about it,
by now. (drops ball onto table.) It's-a going to be two people.
Wario: If you're so sure, then put your money where your mouth is.
Luigi: Fine. If I'm-a right, and it's-a two people, you're-a buying, tonight.
Wario: Deal! If it's one person, and it's a villain, the drinks are on you!
Luigi: Good. (scores game point) Let's get going.
Wario: You cheated!
Luigi: You must have been distracted by your talking money. Let's-a go.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the conference room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone has gathered, except the Fox gang, who are still in the Cyberworld on Mega Man's world.
Speaking of which...)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the Cyberworld ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Krystal: My cup doth overflow'eth! This is so cool!
Forte: Wow. I've terrorized the whole Net, but I've never be- OOH! KITTY-
GIRL!
Marth: And the guys here are all HAWT!

EXE: I know, it's cool, isn't it? Come on, let's get going!
(Fox, Falco and Meta-Knight hang back as the others race into the raunchiest place in all the universes.)
Fox: Why am I hesitating? Every single fantasy can be fulfilled in an instant. Why do I stay?
Falco: Remember that word? Catastro*&^%.
MK: That's the only way to describe this place.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in the Brawl Mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: I'm-a sure you've all guessed what I've gathered you for. It's-a been a while, I know. That's why I
have two new-comers, today.
(Wario thumps his head on the table. Luigi snickers.)
Mario: And now, without further ado... The next two new-a-comers!
(An explosion knocks out one of the walls. On the other side is a small man, with a square-ish head,
wearing a white mask and a blue suit.)
http://www.defunctgames.com/pic/reviewpics/reviewbombermanonline-3.jpg
(Standing next to the small man, is what appears to be a young boy with gray-blue skin, gray-blue hair,
and is wearing a blue cloak and tunic, and a blue hat with a red gem on it.)
http://www.kasuto.net/image/officialart/mc_vaati.jpg
Mario: I'd-a like you all to meet Bomberman and-

Link: VAATI!
Vaati: Hello, Link. It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, this is my chance to beat you. You and that stupid
princess! Both of you will pay.
Bomberman: I think you need to settle down.
(Bomberman pulls a large bomb from seemingly out of nowhere. The fuse is already lit.)
Vaati: ..... Tch. Stupid heroes. Just wait, Link, I'm not going to let this rest.
Mario: ....... Well, this is going to be interesting. It's-a time for my lunch, now. Toodle-oo!
(Mario heads out. Bomberman puts his bomb away, and starts to head out, but stops when he sees
everyone looking at Samus.)
Samus: ....... You all have your jobs. Ganondorf, you get Vaati up to speed, I'll take care of Bomberman.
That is all.
Geno: +Okay, Geno, you can do this. You've been meaning to do this since last night, and you have to
do it. Otherwise, you could cause a lot of damage. Dammit, what if Game&Watch really does have
benevolent reasons for what he's doing? No, that doesn't make sense. If it really is a good thing, that I'm
doing, then I should have no problem telling... Dammit! What should I do?+
(The door opens.)
Samus: Oh! Geno.... do you want something?
Geno: Oh, erh... do you have a minute?
Samus: I was just heading to the cafeteria. Walk and talk?
Geno: I suppose.
(They head off.)
Samus: So, what's up?
Geno: (cough) The thing is.... Oh, how can I say this? I'm still not sure I can.
Samus: Is it about Mr. Game&Watch?
Geno: What? .... What do you know?
Samus: Only that you two are plotting something diabolical.
Geno: No! No, nothing diabolical. At least, I think it isn't diabolical. That's the thing I'm confused about.
Samus: I'm not really the person to talk to. Why don't you go to Mario? I'm sure he can help you.
Geno: Somehow, Samus, I doubt that.
Samus: Hmm...... So?
Geno: (sigh) According to Mr. Game&Watch, if Mar-

Samus: He can talk?
Geno: Eh? Oh, sure, but only in the 2D world. That is, the true 2D world. Everywhere else, it's beeps and
such.
Samus: Damn. I think I just got more information in those 10 seconds than I did in the past couple
weeks. Go on, please.
Geno: Okay, it's like this.
(Geno outlines the plan with Mario, and Mr. Game&Watch's reasons, plus everything about Mario. By
the time he finishes, they've already reached the mess hall.)
Samus: I'm going to have to stop you, Geno. I think this place is a little too open for this topic. Besides,
you've just told me some pretty mind-blowing things. Tell you what. We'll meet in Snake's plane at 1:00.
We'll continue there.
Geno: Got it.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf is eating his usual mountain o' food. Mewtwo is eating light.)
Ganondorf: What's up with you? You're not eating like normal. I know for a fact that I kicked your ass,
but you're not eating like it.
Mewtwo: <Eh? Hm. It's nothing.> (crushes a sammich into a tiny ball, and pops into his mouth.)
Ganondorf: Then again, eating like that is bound to be disastrous to the digestive system. (bites burger)
Whatever. How's Gardevoir? I haven't seen her for a few days. (sucks soda)
Mewtwo: <Oh, she's fine. It's just that, well, I think there's something troubling her. I can't really figure it
out, though. And before you say it, I would never try to pry into her head.>
Ganondorf: I wasn't gonna say that. I was actually going to suggest a vacation.
Mewtwo: <Really? A vacation, eh?>
Ganondorf: Hell, Krystal and all them took a vacation, and I bet they're having lots of fun.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Earlier, in the Cyberworld of Mega Man's world ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Krsytal: WOO! YES, YES, YES! GIVE IT TO ME, BABY!
Fox: Is it just me, or is she having way too much fun with virus busting?
Falco: It's this, or the "other thing."
EXE: Please, don't remind me. I've never seen anyone tire out so many programs and navis. I'm not sure
if Forte and I could keep up with her, even if we did it at the same time.
MK: I really should think of joining another group.
(Later, at lunch in the real world...)
MK: I think I'm getting tired of this world. Well, not really this world, per se. Just Krystal.
Krystal: Jealous? Well, you should have challenged Proto Man faster than me.
MK: You tried to use your feminine wiles to charm him into doing it with you!
Krystal: Anyone with a sword that big has to be good, don't you think?
MK: Me and Marth could have fought him, but nOoOoOoOoO. You made him run away, just by being
yourself.
Fox: He's got a point, you know. Maybe this world is getting to you. I think we're done, here. We should
head back to the mansion, in our universe. All in favor?
(Fox, Falco, MK, Marth raise their hands. EXE and Forte, who are in a computer screen nearby, vote
"aye.")
Fox: So be it. Everyone, be in the Arwings at sundown.
Krystal: Ohhh! I gotta hurry, then!
(Krystal hooks herself up to the Net.)
Falco: ......... Catastro*&^%?
Fox: Catastro*&^%.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the mansion, at about 1:00 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is standing outside Snake's plane. At precisely 1 o'clock, the hatch opens, and Samus beckons him
inside. The hatch is closed immediately afterwards. Inside, it's Samus, Snake, Mewtwo, Gardevoir and
Ganondorf.)
Geno: A bit cramped, don't you think?
Samus: It's better for everyone to hear it at once, than for me to have to hunt them down, to pass along
the information.
Snake: Especially since I'm the one that does the dirty work while she sits in her room and reads.
Geno: Okay, but why are they here?
Gardevoir: <Geno, darling, do you remember feeling like you were being spied on, in the 2D world, last
night?>
Geno: Ah, so that was you. Or, rather, I'm guessing it was the two of you. It's pretty hard to get through
the barrier, when you aren't invited. So, what's with Ganondorf?
Snake: He's proven to have a level of perception that most of us didn't expect. He was the one who
figured out that you have a deal with Game&Watch, in the first place.
Geno: Really? Okay, well then... where were we, Samus?

Samus: I think you were just about to tell me why you came to me for help.
Geno: Right, right. I told you about the possibility of all of this disappearing when Mario leaves, right?
Samus: Right. Although, it goes a little beyond that. I'm sure that, by now, you've realized that without
Mario, there's a guarantee of no more Super Smash Brothers. Without his powers, there would be no
stages, no items, no mansion, no nothing.
Geno: Yes, that's right. I wonder if Mario took that into account when he said that he's retiring.
Ganondorf: Hmm....
Snake: I recognize that look. What's on your mind?
Ganondorf: I can't help but wonder..... Mario is way too smart to have not realized something like that.
In fact, if Mario left, there would probably be more effects on us than just the end of Super Smash
Brothers... and he knows what would happen.
Mewtwo: 
Gardevoir: 
Ganondorf: It's simple... Mario has some secret reasons of his own, for retiring. Reasons that he doesn't
want to share with the rest of us. His own secret explanations for why he would want to end Smash
Brothers. The question is, what could they be?
Geno: I can see why you include him. Nice going, Ganondorf.
Ganondorf: Make no mistake, puppet. I only want to preserve this world because I like the amusement it
gives me. Plus, I always get the opportunity to beat the stuffing out of someone.
Samus: THAT'S IT!!
Snake: That was right in my ear, sweetie.
Samus: Sorry, sorry. Ganondorf, you've done it again!
Ganondorf: I have?
Samus: We all know how much Mario cares for all of us. I bet he intentionally wants to end Smash
Brothers because we're all beating on each other, and it hurts him.
Gardevoir: <That's very good, but I see one little problem. If he has a problem with everyone fighting,
why would he start Smash Brothers in the first place? And, for that matter, why would he let it go on for
so long?>
Samus: Ooh, right, right...

Geno: Hold on, there's something else that's bothering me... what was it? Give me a moment, it'll come
to me.
Mewtwo: <Well, whatever his reason is, maybe we should focus a little more on Game&Watch. From all
we've heard, he might actually be a bad guy in disguise.>
Geno: THERE! (cough) Sorry. Yes, we should think about Game&Watch, but... What if - and this is a big if
- what if there's another power, somewhere in the background? Not necessarily more powerful than
Mario, but it just tricked Mario into making the first Super Smash Brothers. But, Mario was told it wasn't
going to be for fighting, but just for bringing all of us under one roof.
Ganondorf: Hmm.... It's a bit of a stretch... but it makes sense. It could even explain Melee and Brawl, if
you look at it the right way. Unfortunately, I can't think of how, at this moment.
Gardevoir: <Mm. Well, it's definitely something to think about. Now, about Game&Watch?>
Geno: Yes, of course. I want to find out his other intentions, for making Mario stay. However, I can't
really find out, by myself. That's why I originally came to you, Samus. Because I was sure you could
figure out how.
Samus: (sigh) Yeah... I guess that's what comes of being the unofficially appointed (airquote) leader
(airquote).
Snake: Remember, dear, we're all here to support you.
Samus: Thank you, love. Hm... Geno, is there any kind of weakness that Game&Watch might have?
Geno: Not off the top of my head...... Hang on.... MUTE CITY!
Mewtwo: <There seems to be quite a bit of yelling, for some reason.>
Geno: When we landed in Mute City, before anything else, I talked with Mr. Game&Watch. Sorry, it was
more of a telepathic link, because of the power we shared. Anyway, I asked him why he couldn't sense
danger as well as he could here, in the mansion. He then tells me it's because he's so far away from the
true 2D realm.
Samus: Really?
Geno: Yes. He even told me that, at that time, I was more powerful than him.
Ganondorf: Interesting..... Mewtwo, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mewtwo: 
All: ...........
Mewtwo: <Sorry. I loved those two. Seriously, though, I think I know what's on your mind.>
Snake: Fantastic! Would you care to fill us in?
Mewtwo: 
Samus: Now that is a plan I can work with. What do you think, Geno?
Geno: It seems simple enough. He isn't going to choose the easy way, I'm sure, so why not just skip to
the hard way?
Ganondorf: Now, that's what I'm talkin' about! Although... it'll have to be you that convinces him to
leave.
Geno: Way ahead of you. I already know how I'm going to do it, and I'm almost positive it's going to
work.
Samus: Excellent... excellent! This has been very productive, everyone. However, it's almost 2 o'clock,
and it's time for some training.
Snake: She means it's time for a round of pool and ice cream.
(Samus nut-taps Snake.)
(Everyone is filing into the mess hall for dinner. Samus sits down with Snake.)
Snake: So, do we know what Geno's plan is?
Samus: He just told me to wait, and not worry. Apparently, he likes surprises.
Snake: Hell, that's what I'm all about. This is gonna be great.
Samus: I hate surprises. The last time I was surprised, an evil Metroid clone of me was involved.
Snake: Really? Interesting. What are the odds we'll see this clone here?
Samus: Very little. I pretty much vaporized it, last time we met. It sucked, though, because I had to chase
the bastard all around different planets. Not fun. Can we drop the subject, now?
Snake: Eh, fair enough. Besides, it sounds like this thing is built for rampant destruction. Not exactly
something I want roaming the halls.
(Samus suddenly snorts, and giggles.)
Samus: Sorry, sorry. (giggle) I just had this mental image of my evil clone (snicker) just laying in bed,
reading some book.
(Samus keeps giggling as she eats.)
Snake: Yuh-huh. So, anyway, I believe Geno said that he's going to get Game&Watch to come with us,
and we should be ready to leave, tomorrow morning.
(Samus stops her giggling, sniffs once, and wipes her mouth.)
Samus: Really? Alright... I think we should maybe take separate ships. It's going to look very suspicious if
it's all of us, in one ship.
Snake: Right, right. Well... How about this: First, I carry Game&Watch and Geno, with Mewtwo and
Gardevoir on-board, and you follow me an hour later in your gunship with Ganondorf.
Samus: Good, good. Tell Game&Watch that your just dropping him and Geno off at whatever world they
settle on, and doing the same for Gardevoir and Mewtwo. Then, drop them off, and set down in another
part of the world. We'll meet you there. Oh, you should have a reason for you going back to your world.
Snake: Oh, right. Well, I'll just say I'm taking Bomberman to my world, because I'm intrigued by his
explosive technology. Actually, that wouldn't be a bad idea. I should do that, for real, later.
Samus: Good, great. I think we got ourselves a plan. I'll talk with Geno, right after this.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Y. Link is sitting with Link.)
Y. Link: There's just one thing I can't get over.
Link: What's that?
Y. Link: It's about these feelings. Don't worry. I talked to Mario, and he answered most of my questions.
Link: So? What's up?
Y. Link: Okay, the thing is... Is it alright for me to be... you know... close? With the girls on Hyrule?
Link: Close? What do you- Oh, I think I see what you mean. Hmm..... Well, it's hard to say, you know? I
think if you feel okay with it... I mean, it's not like there are really any laws in Hyrule that state these
things. Alright, I'll tell you what I'm'a do for you. I'll take you to my time, in Hyrule, and we'll see Saria.
She's your best friend, so if you're cool with her, well, we'll burn that bridge when we get to it.
Y. Link: .. But.... wouldn't that cause some sort of massive paradox?
Link: We're sitting here, together, right now, and that isn't a paradox?
Y. Link: No, I'm pretty sure we'd be doing something very wrong. No, I'll go back on my own. I'll... talk
with Malon, or something. Besides, she's been "like that" from the beginning. Well, Saria, too, but not as
much.
Link: Yeah, that's probably for the best. But, you might want to take along an adult, in case you screw
up, or something. I know I did, my first time.
Y. Link: ..... What was your first time?
Link: Uhhhh...... I forgot?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Zelda and Peach are sitting together.)
Peach: So...
Zelda: So...
(Awkward silence.)
Peach: Tonight?
Zelda: We need some place quiet. Sound-proof, if possible.
Peach: Right. Any thoughts?
Zelda: Well, I doubt anyone's going to be using any of the training rooms, late at night.
Peach: Sounds risky.... Let's do it!
Zelda: 11 o'clock sound about right?
Peach: I'll bring the toys.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Right near them ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pit: +Angelic hearing. My life rules.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, in a training room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
G&W: <Tell me again why we're here.>
Geno: It's because they're expecting us in the 2D world. I need to talk to you. However, it's been a while
since I really fought, at all. If you don't mind...
G&W: <Fair enough. I haven't had any combat at all, except when I hit Yoshi.>
Geno: Good, good. (turns hand into Star Gun) I'll keep the telepathic link while we fight. You fine with
that?
G&W: <Sure, sure.>
(Geno and Game&Watch start fighting.)
Geno: <Alright, here's what's going down. I've decided that I'm going to go ahead with my plan to keep
Mario from leaving.>
G&W: <What made you decide that?>
Geno: <Well, there's that thing about this place being exciting, for one. Beyond that, however, I like the
people. Up in the Star Road, I didn't really have what you could call "friends." They worked with me, but
that was about it. I like having friends.>
G&W: <Hm. I get it. So, was that it?>
Geno: <Oh, no, there's more. You see, I discovered a, um... let's call it an "obstacle." I need to get away
for a while, and I'd like you to come with me. Our alibi will be that we are taking a page out of the Fox
crew's play-book, and taking a short vacation. It doesn't matter where, I just need a couple days for
things to settle down. You in?>
G&W: <Hang on, a moment. Are you sure this will help you with your little plan?>
Geno: <Positive. If it turns out it doesn't, at least we got a vacation out of it, though. Oh, and the Mario
thing won't be quite as "in the bag" as I had hoped. That's close to the worst case scenario.>
G&W: <Interesting... when are you planning on leaving?>
Geno: <Snake is taking some others around, on his way to his universe. I understand he wants to work
with Bomberman, and what-not. We'll leave at 8 o'clock, tomorrow morning. Well?>
G&W: <Hmm..... I'll have to think about it for a moment. Ask me again when we're done fighting.>
Geno: <Fair enough.>
(And so, they fight for about a half-hour. Eventually...)
G&W: <Enough. I have made my decision. I will go with you. However, I determine where we go.>
Geno: Great. Good to hear. Are you going to tell me where, though?
G&W: 
Geno: Excellent. I'll go tell Snake he has a couple more passengers, then.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, at the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walkin' the halls. Gardevoir is with Samus and Snake, waiting for Geno's
reply.)
Ganondorf: You know, I can't help but think there's something wrong with the newest new-comers.
Mewtwo: <Bomberman or Vaati? Ah, doesn't matter. Vaati seems a little crazy, if you ask me, and I have
this horrible mental image of Bomberman running around, setting off bombs, laughing like a lunatic.>
Ganondorf: Mm, true. I don't like Vaati, in particular. Not entirely sure why.
Vaati: I can't imagine what you would see wrong with me.
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo whirl around to see Vaati standing behind them.)
Vaati: After all, just because I'm the one who's going to destroy Link and Zelda, well, I would think you
would want to join me, in that endeavor. I'd be happy to have you as my... second in command? Does
that sound good to you?
Ganondorf: Nice try, shorty, but I'm definitely going to be the one to get rid of them, once and for all.
Vaati: Oh, I don't doubt your power. Although... I can't help but think your time here has made you...
soft. But anyway... Mewtwo... the male of this couple, obviously. But it seems a little odd... so much
power, but you didn't sense me?
Mewtwo: <Tuh! I sensed you, alright. And, when I did, I decided that you're not a threat to me. That's
why I ignored you.>
Ganondorf: You know, I think I just thought of the reason why I don't like you.
Vaati: Oh, Ganondorf, you wound me. Well, not really. You can't. Too powerful to be hurt, and all that.
Well, it's been nice, seeing you little ones, but I must go. Tah.
(Vaati vanishes, leaving a puff of air, and an evil chuckle.)
Ganondorf: Why, that little... IMPUDENT PUNK!
Mewtwo: <Settle down, man. We'll get him. We'll just invite him to one of our... "training" sessions.
Besides, we have bigger things to think about.>
Ganondorf: Urgh. Fine. Where the hell are we going?
Mewtwo: <To check out a hunch.>
Ganondorf: A hunch? Would you care to elaborate?
Mewtwo: <At dinner, I felt a strong emotion that was different, but very nice. I zeroed in on it, and it
was coming from Peach and Zelda.>
Ganondorf: Really? What was the emotion?
Mewtwo: <I'm not sure. I've never felt it, myself. It felt kind of hot, and it made me feel... tight. Like
something within me was tightening up. I was confused, but I could tell that it's an emotion born of a
basic instinct.>
Ganondorf: Basic instinct.... You've never felt this emotion, before?
Mewtwo: <Can't say I have.>
Ganondorf: Oh, good lord, you're an innocent.
Mewtwo: <What do you mean? Believe me, I'm no innocent.>
Ganondorf: If you can't recognize what they were feeling, you're an innocent. Oh, god. Go talk to
Gardevoir about it, later. ..... good LORD, Mewtwo! So, we're going some place, where we will find out if
your "hunch" is right? Do you know where?
Mewtwo: <Of course. After I zeroed in on them, and memorized the emotion, I used my powers to bend
sound and air, a little, so I could hear what they were saying. They said they were going to meet in one
of the training rooms.>
Ganondorf: Oh, ho ho ho. This is going to be great.
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo come to the training rooms, and head around a corner to hide. However...)
Pit: AH! Wh-wh... What are you guys doing here?
Ganondorf: Uh... huh. What are you doing here?
Pit: Depends on you two......
Ganondorf: .... Well... I don't know about you, but we're... waiting... for a couple people.
Pit: Right. But... you're not going to... make yourselves known, I'm guessing.
Ganondorf: Nope.
Mewtwo: <What the hell are you two talking about?>
Ganondorf: Sorry, he... he's evil, but he doesn't know about... it... and them.
Pit: Oh, I see.
Ganondorf: Really, Mewtwo, go to Gardevoir, right now. Besides, this is something that shouldn't be
witnessed by you. We're fine, you're not.
Mewtwo: <And why, pray tell, is that?>
Ganondorf: Because, this is something only us single folk can really appreciate. And, before you say
anything, Pit is a special case, because Zelda is involved. Go. No, really, go. And remember to ask
Gardevoir about those emotions.
Mewtwo: (mutter mutter mumble)
(Mewtwo just floats away.)
Pit: Now... shall we hide and wait?
Ganondorf: Let's.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere in the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
?: Well? Is it... taken care of?
Mario: Possibly. There are a couple small obstacles, but nothing foreseeable that could cause me
trouble.
?: Good, good. I don't want another Yoshi incident, you hear me? It took me a long time to set things
right, after what he did.
Mario: Of course. The Yoshi thing snuck up on me. I assure you I have everything under control, this
time.
?: And the coins? What of the Smash Emblems?
Mario: They have all been made. He's making more, for the actual Brawl. The number we have will
suffice, for now.
?: Very good. You see? This is going just as planned. You are doing very well, Mario.
Mario: Thank you, my lord...
(Geno is standing outside with Snake, next to his ship, waiting for Mr. Game&Watch.)
Snake: So I'm supposed to take you two to Hyrule? Good. It's closer than the Pokemon world. That way,
I don't have to waste time, going back for Mewtwo and Gardevoir.
Geno: Speaking of which, where are they?
Snake: From what I understand, Mewtwo asked Gardevoir a few questions, and they got... frisky.
Geno: Say what with the where now? Did you just tell me...
Snake: No. They're getting close, though.

Geno: How do you know?
Snake: I'm trained for stealth. I know a lot of stuff.
Geno: Yeah? Like what?
Snake: Wellll.... Do you know about Peach and Zelda?
Geno: I sensed it, but I'm still surprised.
Snake: Mm. Sucks to be you.
Geno: Eh?
Snake: Well, you don't have the stuff, you know? The junk, kibbles and bits. Sausage and meatballs?
One-eyed wonder worm?
Geno: ....... So, at what point do you plan on speaking English?
(Snake grabs his crotch.)
Snake: This stuff. Come on, you observe the entire Mario world all at once, and you don't know about
the stuff what dangles between the legs?
Geno: That's right, I do see everything. But, yes, I know what you're talking about, and I don't have any.
By the way, did you know about... Peach and Bowser?
Snake: Their little secret? Yeah. Not really sure what the hell is going on, there.
Geno: Simply put, they're in love, and they do get freaky.
Snake: (gag) What?!
Geno: Oh, you didn't know that part? Anyway, it's been going on for a while. Although, it didn't start
until not long before Toadstool retired, and Peach took over.
Snake: Oh... my... a-god.
Geno: Yes, it's been real fun talking about it, up in Star Road. I was actually the one who granted the
wishes for them to get together, and make Bowser Jr.
Snake: Oh, holy hell. Samus is going to goddam lose it when I tell her.
Geno: Oh, you'll get over it. Hey, look, it's Bomberman.
Bomberman: Hey, all. What're you doing here, Geno?

Geno: Erh, Snake is dropping off me and Game&Watch at Hyrule. I understand he's taking you to his
world, since you're the foremost expert on explosives in any universe.
BM: Pretty much.
Geno: Snake... does he know?
Snake: Actually... he should know, shouldn't he? And I would tell him, but Game&Watch could show up,
any moment, now.
Geno: No matter. I will take care of it.
(Geno flashes out of his body, and floats into Bomberman's body. A moment later, he floats out, and
flashes back into the doll.)
Snake: Jesus H. Christ! What was that?!
Geno: I just told him everything. You know what's going on, right, Bomberman?
BM: Woah, did I just get laid?
Geno: Oi, Bomberman.
BM: Eh? Oh. (cough) Er, that is, yes. I know about Game&Watch, now. I- I'll be glad to lend you my
bombs.
Snake: Good timing. Here he comes.
G&W: BEEP BEEP!
Geno: Good morning. We just have to wait for a couple more passengers, and we'll be out of here.
G&W: Beep?
Geno: Mewtwo and Gardevoir. They want to visit the Pokemon world. Probably have something
intimate to do.
BM: You can understand him?
Geno: Hm? Not really. However, I can read... not sure if this is entirely accurate, but I can read his
emotions, kind of, and the, um, tones, I guess you could call them. I just guessed that he asked who else
is coming.
Snake: Huh. That's handy. You all might as well get in. I'll wait out here for them.
(Geno, Mr. Game&Watch and Bomberman all step inside, find seats, and buckle in.)
G&W: <Geno, can you hear me?>
Geno: <Loud and clear. What's up?>
G&W: <There's something odd about Bomberman. Would you please ask him?>
Geno: <Gotcha.> Hey, Bomberman, you seem nervous. What's up?
BM: I feel nervous. A bit excited, too. I'm really looking forward to Brawl, and all that. And, of course, I'm
basically being transported to Snake's world, so his people can poke and prod me.
Geno: Hardly. It sounds more to me like he just wants to understand your special technology. You know,
the ability to pull large bombs out of nowhere, and the fuses are always lit.
BM: Hey, Link does the same thing, doesn't he?
Geno: Yeah, but he has a magic pouch that hold many things at once, and he uses some sort of magic to
light them really fast. Or, at least, that's what he says.
BM: Mm, I see.
Geno: <Satisfactory?>
G&W: <Thank you, yes.>
(They waited in silence for another 10 minutes, when Mewtwo and Gardevoir walk in, and strap in.)
Gardevoir: <Oh, my, this is something! I've never been in a, what do you call it? A starship?>
Mewtwo: <How is this different from the craft we used to go to Mute City?>
Snake (from the cockpit): For one thing, I'm not an insane pilot, like Krystal is. It still won't be too
comfortable, though. This baby ain't designed for commercial transportation, after all. Everyone
strapped in? Good. Here we go.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Good lord, how can you stand being so cramped?
Samus: This thing is built for one, and that one is about half your size. Me. So, stop whining.
Ganondorf: I'm losing circulation, as we speak. My ass is going numb!
Samus: So help me god, I will dump you in the middle of space. Do you know what happens when
someone is ejected into a vacuum, without any protection? The short version is that you will be spread
very, very thin, over the entire galaxy. Who knows? If you're lucky, your intestines might somehow
reach the next galaxy. That's certainly something to brag about, in Hell.
Ganondorf: Fine, fine. I'm still going to be bored. How long is the flight? Four hours?
Samus: Five, and I guess you're just going to have to find some way to amuse yourself.
Ganondorf: ........... A family walks into a talent agent's office...
Samus: Oh, balls.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ One long-ass journey later... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: Here we are. Hyrule. Okay, Geno, I'm going to be back in about three days. I'll give you this pager,
to let you know when I'm close. You just make sure you're in Hyrule field, because that's where I'm
landing.
Geno: Gotcha. See you in three days.
(Moments later, Snake's ship takes off.)
G&W: <So, what are we supposed to do?>
Geno: I told you, I just have to lie low, for a couple days. At the moment, my plan is to enjoy this
vacation. Come on, I'm in need of sustenance. It's time to go fishing.
G&W: <This is going to be the longest three days of my life.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, about an hour later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: God, that sucked!
Samus: You're just mad because mine was way more disgusting than your's. Ah, there's Snake, now.
(Snake lands, and they all get out.)
Snake: Hey, honey. It's done. Now all we have to do is confront him.
Samus: Very good. You have a trace on them?
Snake: Of course. We'll wait until night-fall, and then do this.
Bomberman: Super. What do we do, until then?
Ganondorf: Perhaps I can help with that. So, this family walks-
Mewtwo: 
Gardevoir: <Handle what, love?>

Samus: Trust me, sweetie, you do NOT want to know.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the Mansion, in the morning ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone has finished breakfast. Pit is lying in bed, in his room, with his arm around Zelda.)
Pit: Zelda, dear?
Zelda: Hm?
Pit: ...... Do you want to be with Peach?
Zelda: What do you mean?
Pit: I mean... I know that you two... I found out that you have been sneaking off with Peach, to, let's say,
"indulge" yourself with her.
Zelda: You- you know? Pit, you know about our- indulgences?
Pit: I do, Zelda.
Zelda: ...... Um, if I may ask... how did you find out?
Pit: How? The senses of Angels are somewhat greater than your's. I accidentally overheard you two
talking, I was curious, and I wanted to find out what you were talking about.
Zelda: But you didn't ask us.
Pit: I could tell that you were trying to keep it secret. I figured it might look bad if I just came up and
asked you what you were talking about.
Zelda: Mm.... I suppose I should be thankful for that, at least.
(Zelda turns onto her side, and looks at Pit with big, apologetic eyes.)
Zelda: Oh, Pit, what am I saying? I've done something awful! I have been unfaithful to you!
(Pit suddenly pulls Zelda close to him, and they embrace. For a long moment, Pit just strokes her hair.)
Pit: Zelda, you know me. I am a reasonable person, and I love you. I don't think I could even fake being
angry with you.
Zelda: Are you sure? I feel terrible for this.
(Pit stops mid-stroke, then pulls away.)

Pit: Well, actually, there is just one thing I want to ask. Can you tell me what your relationship is, with
Peach? I mean... I know it's physical, but do you want it to be more?
Zelda: I- I'm not sure, all of a sudden. I mean, what we do when we... Well, I admit that I enjoy it, but...
Peach is such a good friend, though! I think... that is, I don't really know how she feels about me, you
know?
Pit: I think I understand. No, I'm sure she feels the same about you, whatever you feel about her. I guess
I'm okay with it, and.... the next time you two get together for that, I'm going to watch, okay?
Zelda: WHAT!? What are you talking about? Wait... watch?
(Smack.)
Pit: Well, it's been a while. I'm guessing it's happened, by now. Am I wrong?
Zelda: Nooo...
Pit: Really? Are you sure?
Zelda: .....Yes. Three times, including our first time, in Mute City.
Pit: And you... enjoy it?
Zelda: Oh, I do! Erh, not that you're doing anything wrong, though. I absolutely love being with you, and
I truly do love you. But... there are a couple things you could learn from her...
Pit: ...... Hmm.... This is a very odd conversation. Especially since it isn't even ten in the morning.
Zelda: Indeed. Can we not talk, now?
Pit: That's fine with me.
(Silence.)
Pit: I still wanna watch.
(Smack.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Fox and the crew have just returned from their time away. Krystal is in her room, getting ready to sleep
off the jet-lag.)
Krystal +Good lord, that was so good. I mean, it's like my mind was... unh! So good! Although, hmmm.....
I just realized.... I never got it on with Blue Boy, or Bass. I guess I can try, later.+
(Krystal puts on some flimsy little thing, and crawls into bed.)
Krystal: +Mmm. I'm going to have good dreams, tonight.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Bass has been put into his own copyroid, which is designed to be like Mega Man's.)
EXE: So, this is it. You do all that sort of stuff, and you can use all the basic attacks in your programming.
Bass: So, does this mean I'm a brawler?
EXE: Sorry, no. You're just a civilian, I'm afraid.
Bass: Oh. Well, why did you bring me here?
EXE: Eh? Oh, right, I said I would hand down your punishment, here. We'll take care of that tomorrow.
Bass: But it's still morning. What am I supposed to do until tomorrow?
EXE: Oh-ho, we'll think of something, I'm sure.
(Obviously, Mega Man is talking about sparring in a training room. If you thought otherwise, you're too
far in the gutter.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Marth is in his room with Roy.)
Marth: {Well, Roy, here we are. What did you want?}
Roy: {I recognize that tone, Marth. Please, I know you're a little upset with me, but I want you to hear
me out?}
Marth: Hmm... {I just got back, Roy. Can this wait, at all?}
Roy: {I don't think so, Marth. I want to say this, now.}
Marth: (Sigh) {Fine, fine. I suppose I should listen to you, out of courtesy, if nothing else.}
Roy: {Thank you, Marth.}
(Roy goes over his conversation with Geno.)
Marth: {So, you had a little chat with Geno, and now you want to be with me, again?}
Roy: {That's not what I'm saying. I... I just want to... talk. Do you think it's right? I mean, our law doesn't
really say anything against people like us, but we're still frowned upon by society. I don't think I can live
a life of secrecy, like that.}
Marth: {Hang on... you're saying that you love me, again, but you're afraid of the consequences of our
world's society? Is that it?}
Roy: (cough) {Not quite how I would have put it, but, yeah.}
Marth: {Roy, you have nothing to worry about. I promise you, right here, right now, that no one will ever
look down at you, no matter how you act, in our world. I only want you back.}
Roy: {Oh... Marth... I love you!}
(Roy falls into Marth's arms, and rests his head against Marth's chest. They both eventually fall asleep,
content in each other's embrace. It's a rather romantic thing, really.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Vaati is sitting in his room, meditating.)
Vaati: +Tch. I've been here less than a full day, and I already hate this place, and everyone in it. None of
the so-called "evil" characters just aren't evil, and all the heroes are just goody-goody weaklings.
Nobody here is worth my time.+
(Vaati opens his eyes, and looks around his room.)
Vaati: +Ugh, I forgot about this... horrendous excuse for a domicile. It's so... frilly. What I wouldn't give
for a dank, stone tower or dungeon. Oh, wait... Ganondorf has a tower. Heh, I'll fight him for it. That
pansy couldn't possibly win against my might. I just have to find him.+
(Vaati vanishes in a puff of smoke, and reappears in the rec room, where Luigi and Wario are playing
foosball, surrounded by the children.)
Vaati: You! Green one! Tell me where Ganondorf is.
Luigi: He's-a not here. He's on a different world.
Vaati: What? Not here!? Don't lie to me, worm!
Luigi: Not lying. He's-a not here. (Wario scores) Nuts!
Wario: Yeah! In your face!
Vaati: Tuh. Children.
Luigi: Said the shrimp who's the same size as-a Young Link, over here.
Vaati: Ahh, yes... Young... Link. So, what happens if... something were to "happen" to him? What would
happen to adult Link?
Ness: Ah, I heard that! Don't even think about it, mister.
(Ness and the other children gather around Y. Link, who has his arms crossed, looking Vaati right in the
eye.)
Vaati: ..... Insects.
(Vaati poofs out.)
Ness: CHICKEN!
Wario: Nonononononon- (Luigi scores the winning point) CRAP!
Luigi: Yeah! I win again! You're buying!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Meta-Knight is in his room, alone.)
MK: +Good lord, that sucked. The battle was kind of enjoyable, even though I never got a chance to fight
anyone truly powerful. The rest of it... was just dumb. I'll have to convince Mega Man to take me back,
some time, so I can fight Proto Man. I'm sure Marth would like to, as well. And this Colonel, he sounds a
lot like me.+
(Knock at door.)
MK: Enter.
(Kirby enters.)
Kirby: {Hello, Meta Knight. I have something... I'd like to discuss.)
MK: What are- Oh, the old language. It's been a while... Um.. {I'm rusty, but I think I got it. Now, what is
it you need?}
Kirby: {Oh, I said that I have something I'd like to talk with you about.}
MK: {Of course. I have plenty of time before the jet-lag hits me. What is it?}
Kirby: ..... {What are the birds and the bees? I'm old enough to know... at least, I think I am.}
MK: {Ah, yes, you are at about that age. Very well, I will teach you.}
(Meta-Knight teaches Kirby about "that" among their kind.)
Kirby: {That seems needlessly complicated. I hear that humans have it a lot easier.}
MK: {They do, but it's not nearly as enjoyable as what our race can do. They only have three or four
sensitive regions, at the most, but our females only have two. Of course, we males only have two areas,
Kirby: {You know what I just realized? I don't think I've ever seen a female. Do you know what one looks
like?}
MK: {Well... it's hard to explain, and I don't have any images... I'll tell you what I'll do. After Brawl, I'll
take you to our home planet, and you can finally see our women. They're all quite lovely.}
Kirby: {Thank you. Um..... Meta Knight... were you ever in love?}
MK: (sigh) {Once. She was the most beautiful of them all... and she could fight. Oh, lord she could whup
my ass, bad. And.... she... I'm sorry, this is getting delicate. I'd appreciate it if you would go, now.}
Kirby: {I'm sorry. I didn't know. Of course I'll go.}
(After Kirby leaves, Meta-Knight takes off his mask and cape, lays on his bed, and weeps.)
(EXE and Bass are walking through the halls. It's about an hour before lunch.)
Bass: I see... So that's how it is to be.
EXE: I'm sorry. I understand your pain. I mean, I haven't been forced through what you have, but I do
understand why it is that you've rampaged through the Net. I wish I didn't have to do this to you.
Bass: No, no. I know that I must pay for my crimes. I accept the sentence you have handed down.
EXE: Very well. That's good to hear.
Bass: There's something I don't quite understand, though. Why was I put in a Copyroid that's designed
for combat and such, like you?
EXE: Oh, well, I called in a couple favors, pulled some strings, and got it for you. I did it because I really
think you can work as a specialized boss.
Bass: Say what, now?
EXE: Oh, there's this one thing that we do, it started with Melee, but it's going to be in Brawl, as well.
Basically, we fight the representative of different worlds, on their own turf, and end with a big boss. In
Melee, I think they all faced a giant version of Bowser. Not sure why, but that's the way it was. However,
in Brawl, there are going to be bosses that are just for the fighter. So, for Mario, it's going to be Bowser,
and for Link, it's going to be Ganondorf. For me, it's you.
Bass: Ohhhh..... Wait, do I fight just you?
EXE: I think so. It's not like there are any others, like me.
Bass: Aren't there... well, it's like Link and Young Link. Aren't there other versions of you?
EXE: I was actually wondering that, myself, for a while. When I checked it out, it turns out that it's true. I
actually do have other incarnations of me, but they exist in a different dimension.
Bass: Dimension? Is that different from a universe?
EXE: Ah, geez. It's like I'm the one getting stuck with the long explanations. Don't you know?
Bass: Can't say I do. Remember, I was created for one purpose, and it's not like my rampage was a quest
for knowledge, or anything.
EXE: (sigh) Whatever. Okay, here's the very short version. A universe is just something we exist in. A
dimension is like a different version of one universe. For example, an alternate dimension of this
universe would have, I don't know, Luigi as the dominant brother, saving the princess, and all that. In
our universe, in this alternate dimension, there are versions of me that are similar to me, but still
different. If I understand it right, I think there would be an alternate version of you.
Bass: Woah... that's deep.
EXE: Hey, just because I COULD have sex all around the clock, doesn't mean I do.
Bass: Right, right. So... where are we going?
EXE: Well, we were going to a training room, but I had to explain things, so we circled around a couple
times. See? This is the second time we passed that vending machine.
(Suddenly, they come upon a mysterious figure.)
EXE: Eh? Umm..... who are you?
?: Who, me? Who are you?
Bass: We belong here, but we're not sure if you do. Now... (levels buster at the figure) ... what is your
name?
?: Hey, relax! There's no need for violence, here. Besides, (heh) there's no way you could hit me.
EXE: Perhaps not. That's why I took this opportunity to get close to you.
(EXE is standing right beside the mysterious character. His buster is charged, and pointed at the
character's head.)
EXE: Last chance. Identify yourself.
?:Alright, alright. Calm down. I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog. I'm the newest - and the best - brawler.
Now, who are you?
(EXE hesitates, then his buster flashes, and turns back into a hand.)
EXE: My name is Mega Man EXE. This is another from my universe, Bass.
Sonic: Cool! You're like me, then! I'm from a different universe, too.
EXE: Why are you just wandering the halls? Mario always calls us together for the new-comers.
Sonic: He does? Oh, yeah. He told me that it would be better for me to just jump in. Something to do
with how it's only a matter of time.
Bass: A matter of time? Oh, he must mean that we only have about a week and a half until Brawl.
Sonic: Yeah, that's probably it. Oh, and there's another new-comer, walking around.
EXE: What?! Yeesh, he's really speeding things up. Do you know what the other new-comer looks like?
Sonic: Yeah. He's pretty tall. Red all over, with claws, a beak, and a white thing on his head. Kinda like
your's (points at Bass) except it goes straight.
EXE: Really? Hm.... That could be a Pokemon. And you say this thing is stalking the halls?
Sonic: I can only assume. Watch out for it, though, cuz' it looks kinda mean, you know?
Bass: Ah. Well, thank you, Sonic. We'll keep an eye out.
EXE: Yeah. Oh yeah, welcome to the roster. I look forward to beating the snot out of you.
Sonic: Not while I'm running circles around you, slow-mo!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Marth and Roy are once again strolling through the halls, mostly in silence... mostly.)
Marth: {Geez, Roy, would you just drop it with the whole ‘they're going to cast me into fire for being gay'
shtick? I'm telling you, don't frickin' worry about it!}
Roy: {Ha! Easy for you to say. You're a damn prince! Me? I'm hardly worth a second glance! I don't get to
be special, like you.}
Marth: {Idiot! All we have to do is get married, and you're safe, too!}
Roy: {Oh, so you suddenly w-...... what?}
Marth: {So now you're pretending to be deaf? I don't have to take this.}
Roy: {Wait, no... I just want to make sure my ears aren't playing tricks on me. Did you just say that.... you
would marry me?}
Marth: {Huh? Oh... I did, didn't I?} (cough) {Well... we could, you know. It's not illegal, or anything, and
by marrying you, you would instantly become a prince, yourself.}
Roy: {Is... Are you sure? It seems like a big step. I love you, I do, but... }
Marth: {We should discuss this more, later.}
Roy: {Right. Later.}
(They stroll a bit longer, more in a reverie than usual. Suddenly, they come upon the character Sonic was
describing.)
Marth: {Good lord, what is that?}
Roy: {Looks like... is that a Pokemon?}
(The character turns his glaring gaze on the two.... Silence...... Then, Marth steps forward, slowly, and
extends his hand. After staring at the hand for a while, the character shakes it for a moment, then holds
a fist against his own chest.)
?: Blaziken.
Roy: Blaziken? {That must be his name.}
Marth: {Sure. Remember, though, a Pokemon does not say it's name. Instead, it is named after what it
says.}
Blaziken: Blay, blaziken, ziken.
(Marth just shrugs his shoulders. After a moment of awkwardness, Roy signals that Blaziken should
follow them. He does.)
Marth: {Um, where are we going?}
Roy: {To look for Kirby. If he can understand the other Pokemon, maybe he can understand Blaziken.
Any idea where he might be?}
Marth: {No problem. All we have to do is wait for lunch, and he'll be there.
Roy: {Well, sure, but... we still have almost an hour. What do we do with him, until then?}
Marth: {Hmm.... I honestly have no clue. Let's check out the rec room. I'll bet they're watching Wario
and Luigi play foosball, or something.}
Roy: {Sounds right. Let's go.}

(They lead Blaziken through the halls until they reach the rec room. Just as they had expected, Kirby and
the Pokemon are watching Ness and Y. Link playing air-hockey. They stop and look at Blaziken when he
enters.)
Ness: Wow... he looks really cool.
Y. Link: Hey, Kirby, I bet Marth and Roy want you to translate what he's saying.... what's his name,
anyway?
Blaziken: Blaziken. Blay, Blaziken. Ziken Blaziken.
Kirby: Puyo puyo. Puyo puyo puyo, puyo. {It's a little hazy. It sounds like he has a dialect, or something.}
Nana: A dialect? What's that mean?
Kirby: Puyo puyo, Puyo puyo - puyo puyo puyo. Puyo puyo, puyo puyo puyo puyo. {Short version is this.
For every type of Pokemon - electric, fire, whatever - there's a different accent. His is weird though,
because it sounds like two types at once.}
Popo: Oh.... So, what's he saying?
Kirby: Puyo puyo puyo puyo puyo. {He just asked what language Marth and Roy speak.}
Ness: Oh. Hey, Blaziken, they're speaking a different language called Japanese. That's why they sound
weird to you. Are you a brawler?
(Blaziken simply nods his head.)
Ness: Neat. So, what type of Pokemon are you?
(Blaziken holds out one hand, claws open, facing upward. He clenches his fist, and it bursts into fire.)
Nana: Ooh! A fire-type! I always wanted to see one of those! What's the other type? Kirby says that you
have two types.
(The flames on Blaziken's claws goes out. He steps next to a table, raises one leg all the way up, and
brings it down on the table with lightning speed, and bone-crushing force. The table splits into four
pieces, and collapses.)
Y. Link: THAT WAS COOL! That must mean you're a really powerful fighting-type, too! I'm really happy to
have you here. Oh, wait... do you know about Mario?
Blaziken: Blay?
Ness: Hey, Pikachu, could you tell Blaziken about Mario, and all that?
(Pikachu gives a salute, scampers over to Blaziken, and they walk off, together.)
Y. Link: Man, that's so cool.
(Ness suddenly scores the winning point.)
Y. Link: You cheated!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Somewhere in the mansion)
Mario: Are you sure about this? Was it a good idea to just set them loose?
?: Of course. I just checked, and they're doing fine. Oh, look, Pikachu is talking with Blaziken. How cute.
Oh, hey, Sonic is about to come upon Vaati. This is going to be funny as hell. Let's listen in.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the halls ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sonic: Oh, hey little guy. Are you lost, buddy?
Vaati: Don't bother me, insect.
Sonic: Insect? Are you sure you should be talking like that? I mean, you're just a kid.
Vaati: Funny. With the brain that you have, I would have thought the same thing about you.
Sonic: You really are looking for a taste of my speed, aren't you?
Vaati: Oh, you're a fast one, you say? Let me guess. You don't have a girlfriend, do you?
Sonic: ....... Okay, that's it. Keep it up, and I'm going to hurt you in ways that will make you say ‘oh, so
that's what true pain is.'
Vaati: Ooh, good one. I like that little jab.
Sonic: Take it. I've got a bunch. I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm going to go on my way, and pretend
that this didn't happen. Why? Because I don't want to incapacitate one of my opponents on the first
day.
Vaati: Of course. You just tell yourself that.
(Sonic moves on.)
Vaati: Tuh. As if anyone could possibly even scratch me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back with Mario and ? ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
?: Oh, that Vaati. He's so adorable, isn't he?

Mario: You just want to eat-a him up. I'm-a wondering if he was a good addition, suddenly.
?: Nonsense. That's something this place needs. A nice jack-ass that everyone can hate. Although, when
Ganondorf gets back, it's going to suck, when they have it out. Who do you think would win, in that
fight?
Mario: Does it-a matter? Either way, I have to repair-a the damages. But... if Vaati wins, he'll-a never let
any of us hear the end of it. Ganondorf wouldn't be too happy, either. He'll-a probably go on his own
rampage, which means more work for me. Fine, I'm betting on Ganondorf, just because it's less work,
for me.
?: What's wrong, Mario? Oh, wait, let me guess. It's because you regret creating me, right? And now, I'm
stronger than you, and that's what's got your panties in a bunch. Am I right?
Mario: I'll do something about you. I will destroy you, eventually. Soon, it will happen.
?: Mario, Mario, Mario... Why do you make me do this?
(A loud smack is heard, followed by what sounds like electricity.)
?: YOU CREATED ME! WHY DO YOU DESPISE ME?! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS!!! I WILL KILL
YOUUUUU!!!!!
(It's finally night-fall in Hyrule.)
Ganondorf: This should be good. We will set out, now. Where are they, Snake?
Snake: They're still down by Lake Hylia. It'll be a shame to disturb that place. I keep hearing everyone say
this it's very nice, around now.
Ganondorf: Why do you think I wanted to take over this place? In the Gerudo Valley... it is the opposite.
By day, the sun will scorch everything under it, and by night, a chill wind will take away the very warmth
of your heart.... I suppose... it is the wind I covet, above all.
Mewtwo: ..... <Uh...Huh... Let's get going.>
Ganondorf: (cough) Sorry. I don't know where that came from. I'm better, now. Lake Hylia is this way.
Oh, and just ignore the stal-children that pop up. They're too slow to be a threat.
(They all make their way towards Lake Hylia. An hour later, they can see the camp Geno and Mr.
Game&Watch have made. Snake signals for them all to stop.)
Snake: Hang on. We have to wait for the signal from Geno. Then, I'll go in, and incapacitate
Game&Watch. I'll call for you, when it's safe to come out.
(A few minutes later, a small, flickering light could be seen through the tent.)
Snake: There it is. I'll be only a moment.

(Snake does his stealth thing. In a matter of minutes, a lot of loud beeping and ringing is heard, then,
silence.)
Snake: Alright, come on out!
(The rest of the gang comes out of hiding, and join Snake, Geno, and Mr. Game&Watch, who is
thoroughly bound.)
Geno: I'm sorry to have to do this to you, friend, but we have a few questions, and we wanted to just go
ahead and skip to the part where you answer.
G&W: BEEP BEEP BEEP!
Geno: Nice try, pal, but you forget the part where you are weakened, this far away from a 2D realm.
Snake: Thank you, Geno. I'll take it from here.
(Snake grabs Mr. Game&Watch by his bulbous nose, and pulls him close.)
Snake: Listen up, pal, because this is your only chance to see me nice, before... (pulls out a knife) ... we
find out exactly what makes you tick. Now, we all know about your plan to keep Mario here. We also
know that you have some other reasons. Start with that, and tell us what they are.
G&W: ..... Beep.
Geno: He'll talk, but only to me. He doesn't want any of you to speak.
Samus: You got all that, from one beep?
Geno: Well, yes. You've heard the phrase, ‘a picture is a thousand words?' One beep is usually about a
couple sentences or so.
Snake: .... O-...kay. Mewtwo and Gardevoir, keep a mental eye on him, so he doesn't lie, and, ah, if he
does, just... give him a little jolt, you know?
Gardevoir: <If I must.>
Mewtwo: <A little jolt if he lies? Are you sure I can't just give him straight mental agony, right away? I'm
sure he'll tell the truth.>
Snake: Don't even think about it, Mewtwo. Come on, let's give these two a bit of room.
(Everyone moves away a little, leaving Geno next to Mr. Game&Watch.)
Geno: I'm sorry about this, really I am. I only do this out of concern for my comrades. After all, without
the truth, what do we have, really?
G&W: <Oh, spare me. I can't believe you did this to me, you traitor.>
Geno: Perhaps. Then again, I can't believe you went along with it so easily. You could have at least
questioned why I would take you, or anyone, along with me, when I'm the only one who is (air-quote) in
trouble. (air-quote) Anyway, as soon as you tell me what I really want to know, we'll let you go, no harm
done... assuming what you tell me leaves you as an innocent.
G&W: <Fine. Sure. Whatever. You want to know the real reason why I want to keep Mario in Super
Smash Brothers? Well... I guess we're out from under *his* gaze. We should be fine.>
Geno: Who's gaze?
G&W: <Ahh... He doesn't exactly have a name. For now, let's call him... actually, I think you should sit
down. What I'm about to tell you... might be a bit much.>
Geno: Really? Alright. (sits down) Now, tell me about him.
G&W: <Alright... for now, he shall be known as......The Deity.>
Geno: What? The Deity?
Snake: What Deity?
Geno: Shush! I'm sorry. Go on, please.
G&W: <The Deity is one of Mario's creations. Or, to be more accurate, The Deity is Mario's greatest
creation, and his most disastrous.>
Geno: That's not what I would call accurate.
G&W: <Oh, but it is. Mario created The Deity by putting a lot of his power into a physical form. Mario is
well aware that he can't lead us forever. In fact, he planned on leaving after the first Super Smash
Brothers. That's why he created The Deity. The purpose of The Deity was basically to do Mario's duty, in
his stead. Creating stages, and mansion, and all that. What came out... Mario was successful. The Deity
could indeed do all of that, and more. However, there is one thing he couldn't do. He could not feel.>
Geno: Feel? You mean, have feelings? Emotions?
G&W: <Well, perhaps it is a bit more complicated than that, but yes. That's what made The Deity
eventually go out of control. You see, when Mario created The Deity, he forgot something. It is the most
important part of any living creature.>
Geno: Of course. It's always one little thing. So, what is this crucial component?
G&W: Simple. The thing that Mario forgot was things like morals. Ethics. A conscience. Mario forgot to
give his creation a soul.
Geno: There's something I can understand. So, would I be correct to assume that without this soul, The
Deity pretty much went insane?
G&W: <Close. He didn't go berserk, like Yoshi did. It's true that The Deity has no soul, but he still has all
the intelligence of Mario.>
Geno: Of course. If this Deity character is as strong as you say he is, then he would have destroyed
everything, if he truly did go berserk.
G&W: <Precisely. However, though he didn't go berserk, The Deity became mad with power. It forced
Mario to continue, just so he could be amused, with us fighting. It's been that way since the first Super
Smash Brothers. However, it wanted to participate. So, he put parts of himself into the battles. A very...
certain part.>
Geno: Master Hand and Crazy Hand? Those two are... the hands of The Deity?
G&W: <Precisely, but there's a little more than that. Ask Ganondorf, Samus or Mewtwo about fighting
against Giga Bowser.>
Geno: Giga Bowser? How is that monstrosity linked with The Deity?
G&W: <Giga Bowser isn't really that important. He's just The Deity's first attempt at creating a sentient
creature. It worked, for the most part, but I think the problem was that, since it was modeled after
Bowser, nobody really found it to be much of a challenge.>
Geno: Okay, so Giga Bowser isn't something to worry about. Tell me of the Hands.
G&W: 
Geno: Sorry. Please, go on.
G&W: <Alright... When Mario created The Deity, he wanted to balance him out by giving him one hand
for creation, and one for destruction. He thought that, if it were that way, then The Deity wouldn't have
as much power. It would act as a limiter. Unfortunately, while The Deity couldn't completely change the
hand into another destruction hand, he could modify it, giving it weak powers of destruction.>
Geno: With one hand, he creates, and with the other, he destroys. I think I see how that works. Now,
why has The Deity gone berserk? I'm sure that no soul thing has something to do with it, but there is
always another reason. We both know that, don't we?
G&W: <Indeed, we do. Unfortunately, I don't know of any oth-HURGH!> BEEP BEEP!! <Fine! You
impudent... I have a small clue... The short of it is this. The Deity, quite simply, felt that his power was
meant for more than what he deemed to be a shameful misuse of his strength. So, he rebelled. I know,
it doesn't make sense, but that is how it is. Does that satisfy?>
Geno: Hmm......... I think it will do. One last question. The one we went through all this for. Why do you
want Mario to stay? Mario wants to leave, but you wish to hold him back. What do you gain from this?
G&W: <Ah, finally, the big question. Alright, listen up. Mario, at this stage, doesn't really want to leave.
The Deity wants Mario to leave. The reason for this... Um, there's a tektite behind you.>
Geno: A what? Oh.
(Geno whirls about, and blasts the hell out of the tektite, which was jumping up behind him.)
Geno: Sorry about that. You were saying?
G&W: <Right. When Mario created The Deity, he made two other limiters. The first is a simple one
where The Deity cannot kill. Cannot kill. Try though he might, even if he does kill, he absolutely must
raise whoever he kills.>
Geno: What's stopping him from not raising?
G&W: <That's the other limiter. Mario is the other limiter.>
Geno: What!?
G&W: <It's true. I didn't get a shock. Mario is the final limiter on The Deity. I wish I knew exactly how it
works, but I don't.>
Geno: .... I suppose you don't. No shock, again.
G&W: <Right. Anyway, that's the reason why he wants Mario to leave. With Mario far away, away from
the rest of us, The Deity is free to do as he pleases.>
Geno: Alright. I can see why you want him to stay, then. But, why didn't you tell us, before?
G&W: <The Deity is powerful. Even in the 2D world, I think he could see me. That's why I tried to never
speak of the true reason, even in private.>
Geno: Ah, I get it. Then, why didn't you say anything to me in Mute City?
G&W: <.... It was because of Yoshi. He was a more immediate danger, I thought. Besides, I didn't think
you were ready to hear everything, quite yet. To be honest, I would have told you, in another week, but,
here we are.>
Geno: Hmm..... I think that answers all my questions. Oh, wait, one more.
G&W: <Can we make this quick? This rope's starting to chafe.>
Geno: I didn't even know you had a central nervous system. What I want to know is, aren't you only
delaying the inevitable, by keeping Mario? He'll die, eventually, so how does this solve our problem with
The Deity?
G&W: <Again, I don't know... I figured if I delayed Mario leaving for as long as possible, we would
eventually gather enough forces to be able to take on The Deity.>
Geno: He's that powerful? Geez, just give the right people some Smash Emblems, and it's done like that.
G&W: <Who do you think holds them all?>
Geno: Ah, of course... say, while we're here... do you know who made the Smash Emblems?
G&W: <....... You won't like the answer.>
Geno: Try me. I'm in a good mood.
G&W: <Okay, don't say I didn't warn you. ....... Smithy made them.>
Geno: WHAT!?!?
G&W: <Don't worry. He's being controlled under the strictest conditions. The Deity would do it himself,
since it's his creation, but he can't get it right, like Smithy can.>
Geno: Good lord.... that evil bastard is making something that we are going to use? I... I think I'm going
to be sick. I can't be sick, but I feel like I'm going to hurl.
G&W: 
Geno: Huh? Oh..... Fine. Hey, everyone, I'm done. Come on back.
(Snake cuts Mr. Game&Watches bonds. Geno then tells everyone everything.)
Samus: .......... Goddam.
Snake: Damn right... I don't care what time it is when I get back. I'm drinking, a lot.
Samus: Ditto.
Bomberman: Umm..... Now what?
Ganondorf: Now? Now, we get some goddam sleep. Tomorrow, we come up with a plan, then head
back.
Samus: Ganondorf is right. We all need to take time to absorb this.
Snake: Fine... but first, I'm hungry. Who wants seafood?
(Bomberman pulls out a small explosive, unlit.)
BM: Just point me to the fish.
(Back at the mansion, it's only the afternoon. Link is sitting in his room, going through inventory.)
Link: +Alright... 75 arrows... check.+ (stuff arrows in magic pouch) +125 bombs... I'm counting only 115...
That should be enough, but I'll have to go to Hyrule... where do I get bombs in Hyrule, again?+
(Link gets up, and starts pacing.)
Link: +Let's see... I think... there's a place near a big castle... oh, balls!+
(Link sprints through the halls, and bursts into the Doc's office.)
Link: DOC! It's getting worse!
Doc: Settle down, Link. What's getting worse?
Link: My memory is going. I can't even remember where to get bombs, in Hyrule.
Doc: I see. Hmm.... Perhaps I was wrong... perhaps it isn't-a psychological... Alright. Link, I'm going to
schedule for a flight to Samus's world, where you will undergo an MRI. It's a simple procedure, and if
there's-a anything wrong, anywhere in your body, chances are good that the MRI will find it.
Link: Thank you, Doc. What should I do, until I leave?
Doc: Actually... you can probably leave pretty soon. That is, if you're willing to have Krystal take you.
Link: Ulp. Uh, couldn't I get Fox or Falco to do it?
Doc: I'm afraid not. They got called away for a personal emergency, on their world. I can't-a get a hold of
Meta Knight, for some reason. The only available character licensed for space-a-flight is Krystal.
Link: Crud... Fine.
Doc: I'm-a sorry. I wish I didn't-a have to do this. Once you get Krystal to agree to take you, I'll contact
the hospital.
Link: (sigh) Got it.
(Link exits, and heads for Krystal's room. He stops right outside.)
Link: (sigh) +Here goes something.+ (knock, knock)
Krystal: Who is it?
Link: It's Link. I have come to ask you... a favor.
(A moment later, the door opens to reveal Krystal in a not-too-concealing robe.)
Link: Uh.....huh... Can I come in, please?
Krystal: Of course.
(Link walks in. He jumps when he hears the door shut.)
Krystal: So, what can I do for you?
Link: (cough) Did I come in at a bad time?
Krystal: Not at all. I was just hoping for... something... to happen.
Link: Right, um, anyway, I need to have a medical procedure done, on Samus's world, and... I was
wondering...
Krystal: You're asking me to fly you to Samus's world? Of course, I'll do it. Anything for a dear friend.
(As Krystal speaks this last part, she brushes her fingers against Link's cheek. Link's eye twitches, and he
coughs loudly.)
Link: Er, uh- That is, thank you. Um, when- When would you be planning on leaving?
Krystal: Depends on you.
Link: Well, I can leave as soon as you're ready, if you like.

Krystal: I can do that. Just let me get changed.
(Krystal grabs one of her skin-tight suits, and steps behind a curtain. Link can clearly see the silhouette of
Krystal, as she drops her robe.)
Link: (cough) Well, I'll just wait outs-

Krystal: So, what's this for?
Link: Uh? Oh, right... um.... I knew it. I can't remember, all of a sudden.
Krystal: Really? Could it possibly be... forgetfulness?
Link: Right! Forgetfulness. That's it. Erh, you can see why I need to be checked out.
Krystal: Mm, yeah. It seems pretty bad. Can you think of what might be wrong?
Link: Heh. For all I know, I might have just taken one too many hits to the head. It happened to Roy, and
we all know what happened, because of that.
Krystal: Right.
(Krystal steps out from behind the curtain. She strikes a sexy pose.)
Krystal: How do I look?
Link: Very, um (clears throat) Very nice.

Krystal: Sweet boy. Come along.
Link: Yeah... Oh! No, I have to tell Doc, first, so he can call ahead.
(Link and Krystal head towards Doc's office. Along the way...)
Link: +Good lord, this is creepy... hang on, why do I feel like this? I've done... stuff... before. At least, I
think I have. Wait... yeah, I have! I think one of the girls was even weirder than Krystal. At least she's an
actual mammal. I don't know what... Argh! I don't remember her name! Relax, Link, think about it.
There's Saria, one of your best friends, since all the way from childhood. Wait, I... doesn't that make
me... Oh, wait, she's cool. I think... yeah, I'm safe.+
Krystal: Something on your mind, Link?
Link: AH! Uh, (cough) I'm just trying to, you know, not lose more of my memory. Trying to remember
names, and such.
Krystal: Don't strain yourself.
Link: Right. +What the hell is she talking about? She tells me not to strain myself, but she's done almost
everything except throw herself at me. This is not fair. Not fair, at all.+
(They finally reach Doc's office.)
Link: Hey, Doc.
Krystal: I agreed to fly him to the Samus's world.
Doc: Excellent. I'll-a contact them, let them know you're coming. You two get going whenever you're
ready.
Krystal: Right... I'll just... prep this guy for flying under my command.
Link: +Why do I suddenly have this feeling of intense doom?+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Sonic is wandering the halls, again.)
Sonic: This place is pretty nice. It's a shame there aren't any places where I can really run. I just gotta
find a place to cut loose, or I'm gonna lose it.
(Sonic turns a corner, and bumps into Pichu and Pikachu.)
Sonic: Oh, hey, little buddies. Wait, don't tell me... you, with the black ears, you're jigglypuff.... which
makes the bigger one ness.
(Pikachu looks at Pichu)
Pikachu: Pika pikachu? {Is this guy for real?}
Pichu: Pichu pichu. Pichi, pi, pi pichu. {I think he's the other new-comer, like Blaziken. I wonder why he
doesn't know who we are?}
Sonic: OH! You're Pichu and Pikachu, aren't you?
Pikachu: Chu pikachu. {Took ya long enough.}
Sonic: Hey, you two look like you like speed. I'm feeling cooped up, here. Do you know anywhere where
I can just run?
Pichu: Pichu. Pichu, pi. {Of course, follow us.}
(Pikachu indicates for Sonic to follow. They walk the halls for about five minutes, before they come to a
big door.)
Sonic: Just on the other side?
(Pikachu nods.)
Sonic: Thanks, guys! Well, see ya!
(Sonic opens the door, and heads through. Outside...)
Sonic: It's... it's so open... it's like a dream come true. Well... here goes!
(Sonic starts running... and running and running and running and running and running and running and
running and running and.....)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Just inside ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pichu: {Should we have told him that it goes on forever, and the only way back is to turn around?}
Pikachu: {Nah. I think he's bright enough to figure that out, eventually. Besides, it's not like he would
have understood us.}
Pichu: {Point. I wonder what Blaziken is doing.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile, in Hyrule ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It's already the next morning, in Hyrule, and everyone has gathered to figure out what they are going to
do about The Deity.)
Samus: Okay, so this thing has enough power to control Mario, and it can basically wipe out every one of
us at once, but it can't truly kill us. Anything else?
G&W: <Geno, we're going to have to find a better way for me to speak to these people.>
Geno: He says that he's thinking. Give him a moment.
G&W: <Yeah, whatever. Alright, here's something else. The absolute worst he can do to us is transport
us very, very far into that infinite plane. You know, that big field that goes on forever and ever. Now, I've
never been there, myself, but I don't think it's on a curved surface, so one could possibly see the door
back to the mansion, from wherever they are. However, The Deity could transport someone so far out,
that no amount of running will help, since that person would eventually die of... thirst, I think, if not
exhaustion.>
Geno: <Well, that's pleasant, isn't it?>
(Geno relays this to the others.)
BM: Oh, that's lovely, isn't it?
Geno: That's pretty much what I was thinking.
Gardevoir: <So, the first question we should be thinking about is how to get close enough to The Deity
to hurt him.>
Ganondorf: It sounds like this guy isn't all there, in the head. Perhaps if we make with the all-out assault,
we'll be able to overwhelm him. Would that work, Game&Watch?
(Mr. Game&Watch pauses, then slowly nods.)
Snake: Alright, good. However, I think it'll take quite a bit to take this guy down. Is there any certain
weaknesses we should know about?
G&W: <Weaknesses? Hmm..... I wonder...>
Geno: <What is it?> Seems like he's pondering something.
G&W: <Well...... those Smash Emblems... the Super Smashes.>
Geno: The Super Smash?
Samus: Of course! Something with that much power is bound to do some damage.
Snake: Sure, it could work. But, how do we get to them? It's not like we can politely ask Mario, you
know.
Geno: Hang on, I think there's more. What's on your mind, Game&Watch?
G&W: <Well.... this might be a bit of a stretch, but I think there's something more to the Super Smash,
and those little coins, than we originally thought.>
Geno: More to the Smash Emblem than we thought? Like what?
Ganondorf: He's right. It makes sense. If Mario went to Smithy, without The Deity tagging along, then
Mario might have instructed Smithy to build something into the Super Smashes that will be able to
completely destroy The Deity.
Samus: Slow down, Ganondorf. We don't know really know that, do we? Sure, the Super Smash could
destroy The Deity, but what if it doesn't? If The Deity was there when Smithy started, then the Smash
Emblems we use might not work at all. Or worse, they'll work against us.
Mewtwo: <Good point. Right now, however, I think the Super Smash is our best bet. How can we find
out if it's safe?>
Geno: Fortunately, that won't be a problem. All I have to do is go to Star Road, and ask around. We
watch over the Mario world, but we get news form all around this universe. If Smithy is somewhere in
here, I'll find him. Then again... he could be in an area that is outside this universe.
Snake: Like, perhaps in my world? Or Mega Man's world?
BM: It's possible that another new-comer from another universe has arrived, by now. Smithy could be
there, too.
Samus: Alright, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Geno, go to Star Road, and check around. If you can't
find him... we'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
Geno: I'll do it right now. Keep my body safe, while I'm gone.
(Geno flashes out of his body, leaving the small doll. Samus picks it up. The small, scintillating ball of light
that is Geno bobs once, and blinks out.)
Samus: Okay... as for the rest of us...
Ganondorf: Breakfast. Food. Grub.
Snake: More fish?
(Bomberman is already holding a bomb in his hand.)
BM: Way ahead of you.
(It's supper time, in the Brawl Mansion. Over by Peach and Zelda...)
Peach: Is it just me, or is this place a little emptier than usual?
Zelda: Well, let's count who's gone... Mewtwo, Gardevoir, Game&Watch and Geno have all gone on a
short get-away vacation. Snake took Bomberman back to his world, and I can only assume Samus went
with them because Snake and Samus love each other...
Peach: Doesn't really explain Ganondorf, does it?
Zelda: Meh. He was probably feeling lonely, so he decided to go back to his place in Hyrule.
Peach: Any idea where Link is?
Zelda: I'm not sure, but word on the grapevine is that he went somewhere for some medical emergency.
Peach: That would explain why Meta Knight is gone. He's the only other licensed flier, other than...
Krystal... who isn't here, as well.
Zelda: You don't think... did they?
Peach: Link is smarter than that. He wouldn't do anything with her. Besides, he's got all those ladies in
Hyrule, after all.
Zelda: I'm not exactly happy about that, but it's a little reassuring, nonetheless.
Peach: Mm. Oh, and Fox and Falco are gone, too. But, you know, I hear Meta Knight isn't actually gone.
Zelda: Really? He's still in the mansion? Why isn't he with us, then?
Peach: I don't know what happened, but I think he's locked himself in his room, or something.
Zelda: Huh. I never thought he would be the sort to do that. Whatever it was that did that to him, it
must have been really bad.
Peach: Mm. Do you think... someone should intervene?
Zelda: I know what you mean. I'm starting to get worried, too.
Peach: Hmm......
Zelda: Tonight?
Peach: Same time, same place?
Zelda: It's my turn with the toys.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Nearby ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pit: +HALEEHHHHLUJAAAAAHHH!!!!+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room, at the children's table ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ness: So, does anyone know what happened with Meta Knight?
Nana: I heard he got hurt real bad.
Ness: Yeah, that's pretty much what I heard, too. How ‘bout you, Lil' Link?
Y. Link: Stop calling me that. And I have no idea. Hey, maybe Kirby knows! Kirby, do you know what's up
with Meta Knight.
Kirby: Puyo, puyo puyo. Puyo puyo. Puyo puyo puyo. {I know, but I don't think I should tell. It's private.
Meta Knight might get upset.}
Y. Link: Aww. You tell us you know, and you're not gonna tell us what you know? That's lame.
Ness: Totally. How come you're holding out on us?
Kirby: Puyo, puyo. Puyo puyo puyo puyo. {Stop it, you guys. This is definitely something you don't need
to hear.}
Popo: Totally lame. Hey, has anyone seen Sonic?
Nana: Oh, yeah, I really thought we'd see him, here.
Ness: Who? Who's Sonic?
Popo: Oh, you know how they just threw a couple new-comers into the mix? It turns out that Sonic is
the other one, besides Blaziken. I like him. He's real laid back, and stuff.
Pichu: Pichu? Pichu, pi?
Kirby: Puyo puyo puyo, puyo puyo. {He asked if Sonic is blue, and likes to run.}
Nana: That's him! Have you seen him?
Pikachu: Pika, pikachu. Pika pika, chu pika.
Kirby: Puyo? Puyo puyo puyo, puyo. {Really? You showed him the endless field? Oh, dear.}
Y. Link: You showed him the endless field? This can't be good.
Bowser Jr.: Endless field? Speak English.
Y. Link: If you open a special door, you get dropped off in a biiiig field. Some say it really does go on
forever, but we don't really know that. (gasp) And he doesn't know how to get back! He could be lost!
Ness: We have to find him!
Popo: But, how?

Y. Link: Umm... We'll have to ask someone, I think. Let's see... Miss Aran is gone... I wonder if Miss Zelda
or Miss Peach will help us.
Bowser Jr.: Well of course ma- erh, Miss Peach will help us. Come on.
(They children all walk over to Peach's table, and crowd around them.)
Y. Link: Um, Miss Peach? Miss Zelda?
Zelda: Yes? What is it, dear?
Y. Link: Well..... Okay, so you know about that newcomer, Sonic? Yeah, apparently, he likes to run, a lot,
and so he asked Pichu and Pikachu where he could run freely, and they took him to the endless field,
and now, he may be stuck there forever and we don't know how to get him back and we need help.
Peach: ...... And you said all that in one breath?
Y. Link: Uh-huh. Can you two help us? Please?
Zelda: Of course, we will. After supper, though.
Y. Link: ‘K.
(The children all return back to their table.)
Ness: Well, that was easy.
Bowser Jr.: It's cuz' they're girls. It's easy to get them to do stuff.
Nana: Nuh-uh! Everyone knows women are stronger! Why do you think Miss Aran is the new leader?
(Bicker bicker bicker bicker bicker.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In Star Road ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is floating around Star Road in his will-o'-wisp form.)
Geno: <Let's see... not there, not there... where the hell did she go? Hmm....... ah-HA! There you are!>
(Geno darts over to another light that is glowing mother-of-pearl.)
Geno: <Hey, there. Uh, sorry about the language. It's been a while. Umm... *@)!!#@?>.... Sorry, I'm
going to have to stick with this for a while. I'm also going to have to call you by your old name. Is that
fine?>
Serenade: <No problem. I just want to thank you again for getting me out of that wretched Net. It's
nothing but filth and combat. This is so much nicer, and I'm doing good deeds, you know? I even granted
this one wish for someone to be reborn.>
Geno: <That's nice. It was a pleasure, really. However, I'm only going to be here for a bit. I'm on
business.>
Serenade: <Really? That's a shame. I was hoping we could do some... wish granting, together?>
Geno: <What? Fine. I'll tend to the business I have here, then stay. But only for one night.>
Serenade: <That's all the time I need. So, what's up?>
Geno: <Okay... this was before your time, but your probably the best, here. That's why I came to you.>
Serenade: <Geno, darling, you flatter me.>
Geno: <Indeed. Anyway... do you remember that Smithy guy I told you about?
Serenade: <He was the reason for you taking a mortal form in the first place, right? I know. He's back. I
assume you want to locate him?>
Geno: <Please. It's for my comrades.>
Serenade: 
Geno: <Bass? Hm, he must have appeared after we left... But, yes, I'd like to find him, please.>
Serenade: <Just remember to tell that little program that he's the UnderKing, now, okay? And, make
sure you tell him that... he was a fantastic fighter.>
Geno: .... <I'll be sure to tell him.>
Serenade: <Thank you. Okay, Smithy... Smithy. Let's see what we have here.>
(Serenade starts glowing brighter, and her mother-of-pearl colors start shifting quickly. Moments later,
they slow down.)
Serenade: <Okay, I got him. He's pretty far off. At- .... Well... I suppose you could say that he is at the
edge of the universe.>
Geno: <At the edge of the universe? Geez.... Wait, I thought the universe... Never mind. If I start thinking
theoretical physics, now, I'm going to have a headache when I turn mortal, again. Can you give me a
direction?>
Serenade: <Hmm.... Knowing the speed at which your spaceships can travel... Okay, aim for
approximately 7200 miles right of the Pokemon world, and go straight. The place where Smithy works is
constantly moving, but you should more or less intersect the path of movement. You'll be able to locate
him, as you get closer.>
Geno: <Serenade, you truly are the best. You know I love you, right?>
Serenade: <Oh, I know. Is that all you needed?>
Geno: <That's it. Now, it's just us. So, how have you been? Oh, right, the rebirth thing. Who got reborn,
anyway?>
Serenade: <Oh, it was so emotional! There was a bunch of people and animals alike, all weeping. It's like
this creature was a hero among his kind.>
Geno: <Creature? It wasn't human? What's it's name?>
Serenade: <It was actually a reptile, of some sort. It's name is... I believe it's Yoshi.>
(We pick up right where we left off, with Geno and Serenade...)
Geno: ...... <Say what?>
Serenade: <Yoshi. That's the name of the little reptile that has been reborn, under the wish I granted. I
couldn't stand seeing so much grief for that little guy, so I had to. Is there something wrong?>
Geno: <Serenade, didn't you see what happened to us brawlers, in Mute City?>
Serenade: <Oh, that.>
Geno: <Yes, that! How am I going to tell the guys?! He killed Captain Falcon! What were you thinking?>
Serenade: ... <Tell me... have you taken a good, close look at Donkey Kong, lately? Don't answer, it was
rhetorical. He's the one who's been wishing so hard for Yoshi to return, that we heard him from so far
away.>
Geno: <DK? Donkey Kong... Oh, wow. Now that you mention it, he's been totally unlike himself, since
that one day. I never thought, though, that a wish could reach that far.>
Serenade: <Which is exactly why I had to grant the wish. Anyone with hopes that strong... he deserves it,
don't you think?>
(Silence.)
Geno: <Still, it'll be a while before he can join us brawlers. Perhaps->

Serenade: <No. You take him as soon as possible. It was Yoshi's own father who took care of Baby Mario,
remember? Well, it's time to return the favor. You must all care for him. Besides, I think it's best for him
to grow up among his kind.>
Geno: .... <Fine. But... I don't think any of us know how to raise a baby Yoshi. Do you think you could...
help me, a bit?>
Serenade: <Goodness, Geno, did you just ask me to come with you?>
Geno: <Huh? Well, not really. I just asked you to teach me what to do to raise him.>
Serenade: <Oh.... I see.>
Geno: .... <Urgh. Fine. Would you please accompany me back to the Brawl Mansion?>
Serenade: <I'd be delighted! Just remember to have a physical body ready for me to take over. Maybe
another doll, or something.>
Geno: <I'll have something ready. Anyway, since the situation has changed, some, I think I'd like to get
going now. I'm going to go back to my comrades, and then we'll talk with Smithy. After that, we're
coming back here.>
Serenade (giggle) <I'll be waiting, Geno.>
Geno: <Actually, now that I think about it... If Smithy is on the edge of the universe... it would take way
too long to get there in a normal ship. Any suggestions?>
Serenade: <How long did it take you to get here, from wherever you were?>
Geno: <Well, I wasn't really traveling in a physical form, so it's hard to say. Maybe an hour, or so. But,
even so, since I'm an astral being, I don't really travel through normal space.>
Serenade: <Of course. I see. Hmm.... Here's a thought... could you possibly possess the spaceship? That
way, you might be able to make it slip into sub-space.>
Geno: <What? I'm almost positive that's impossible. I'll do it.>
(And so, Geno travels out of Star Road, all the way back to Hyrule, where the rest of his comrades are
waiting. A moment later, the Geno doll flashes, and there he stands, full-sized.)
Geno: I'm back, and I've located Smithy's approximate location.
Snake: Excellent. Where?
Geno: (sigh) At the edge of the universe.
Samus: Say what? I thought the universe goes on forever, or something like that.
Ganondorf: It might just mean that there's no tangible matter beyond where Smithy is. Some might
consider that to be a better definition of "edge of the universe."
Snake: I'll go with that. The problem is getting there. Even at max speed, it'll probably take weeks to get
there, and there isn't enough fuel.
Samus: What? You don't have a self-renewing energy source?
Snake: Of course I do. The problem is that it can't go for weeks at a time.
Samus: It doesn't need to. You only have to get it up to max speed, and then just steer it. We'll be in
zero gravity, so you can just coast your way to the edge of the universe.
Geno: (cough!) I think I might have a solution. You see, it's possible that I can possess Snake's ship, and
then I can make it travel in sub-space, which will drastically reduce traveling time.
Gardevoir: <Sounds like it's still just a theory. Do you know if you can even possess the ship?>
Geno: We're about to find out.
(Geno's body flashes, and the doll is left laying on the ground. The scintillating light that is Geno bobs
and weaves over to Snake's ship, and disappears inside it. A moment later, the main hatch opens.)
Snake: Wasn't me. This is looking pretty good, so far. Come on.
(Everyone piles into Snake's ship, and buckles in.)
Snake: Geno, are you there? Can you give me a sign?
(Suddenly, the ship roars to life. The hatch closes.)
Snake: Woah, easy there. I want this baby to last a while longer. Alright, let's do this!
(The Geno-ship takes off, slowly, then gains speed, and enters space.)
Snake: (whew) That was something. Alright, Geno, just tell me where to find this guy. I'll take it from
there. Hey, what the-?
(Suddenly, a monitor scrambles for a moment, then switches to a polygonal construct of Geno's face.)
Geno: Huh... Am I coming through, alright?
Mewtwo: <Holy balls! What's he doing?>
Samus: Holy balls is right, Mewtwo.
Geno: Did Mewtwo just say something? Great. It looks like psychic talk doesn't work with me. Well, no
problem. Okay, I know where to go, from here. I'm going to attempt to slip into sub-space, so... buckle
up, because I'm not going to try to make this comfortable.
(A moment later, there's a violent jerk, and a feeling of immense pressure. Then, nothing.)
Geno: Good news. It looks like it worked. It's still going to be a couple hours, so just sit back, and relax.
(Silence.)
Snake: Wow. This is... this is something, isn't it?

Ganondorf: Not really. I mean, let's review. There's a little rodent which can store immense amounts of
electrical energy within it's body. We have another character which can unleash vast amounts of energy,
just by going to sleep. As if that weren't enough, Geno himself is a being from a higher plane. What
makes this so special?
Geno: He's got a point. You know what's really neat? My awareness extends through the entire ship. I
know everything that happens, within this hull.
Snake: ...... Goddam, this universe is weird.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Zelda, Peach, and all the children are gathered in the Endless Field, at night.)
Zelda: Alright, remember to stick with your groups. Peach and I will go in this direction. Young Link and
Ness, that way, Pikachu, Pichu and Jigglypuff, that way, Ice Climbers and Bowser Jr., go that way. Now,
does everyone have their flares? Good. If you find Sonic, ignite the flare. Then, wait for the other flares,
so we all know we're safe, then come back to the door. Try to walk in a straight line, so you don't get
lost. Any questions?
(Silence.)
Zelda: Excellent. Let's get to it.
(Zelda and Peach walk off. After a few moments...)
Peach: Is this going to ruin our plans?
Zelda: Not at all. If anything, after this, I'll need to unwind just that much more. It might be a little later
than last time, but that's okay.
Peach: Hm. You know I love you.
Zelda: I love you, too, Peach.
Peach: Mm.... Can I tell you something?
Zelda: What's that, dear?
Peach: Well.... Heh. I'm not even sure if I should be saying this. I have no idea why I'm telling you.
Zelda: Well, you're probably going to tell me, because now that I know you have a big secret, I'm not
going to rest until I know what it is.
Peach: Yes, you would, at that.

Zelda: So? What is it?
Peach: ..... Promise you won't tell anyone? Anyone at all?
Zelda: I give you my word as princess of Hyrule.
Peach: ..... I'm in love with Bowser.
(Zelda stops in her tracks. Her left eye is twitching.)
Peach: ..... And... Bowser Jr. is my son.
(Now, both eyes are twitching.)
Peach: .... I didn't give birth to him, if that's what you're thinking. He was... he was made, in a lab.
Zelda: Um... Could you give me a moment?
Peach: Zelda, love... Are we still on for tonight?
(Silence.)
Zelda: (sigh) Yeah. I love you too much to let this stop... us.
(They walk on in silence.)
Zelda: Out of curiosity, why did you tell me?
Peach: Oh, I just HAD to tell someone. It was eating me up, to be hiding such a secret from everyone. I'm
sorry to do this to you.
Zelda: No, no. I'm glad that you did. It's better, this way. It was either like this, or at a very awkward
moment. It could have been worse.
(More silence.)
Zelda: So, what's he like?
Peach: Bowser? Very kinky.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the field ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Pichu: {So, tell me again how this is our fault?}
Pikachu: {It's because we didn't try hard enough to warn him. I know he's a bit of a lunkhead, but I guess
he's a cool lunkhead.}
Jigglypuff: {Say, here's a thought. Is the Endless Field curved, or flat?}

Pikachu: {Huh? What kind of question is that? It's curved, like a planet.}
Pichu: {Aren't you supposed to be a kid? How do you know that?}
Pikachu: {The only reason why I haven't evolved into Raichu is because I haven't found a Thunder Stone.
I'm really five years old, which is, like, a teenager, to the humans.}
Jigglypuff: {Sure, whatever. Anyway, back to me. If the Endless Field is curved, doesn't that mean that,
eventually, we'll end up back at the door? Say, does anyone know how big this place is?}
Pikachu: {They probably call it the "Endless Field" for a reason. It must be very big.}
Pichu: {I still think you're too young to be intelligent.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the field ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Y. Link: Hey, Ness, how come you never talk about your adventures?
Ness: Uh? Well... Compared to the stuff you've been through, I just didn't think it would be a great story.
Y. Link: Oh, come on. You're a psychic. That's gotta make your story cool, automatically.
Ness: I don't know...
Y. Link: Nope, it's settled. Tonight, we're going to listen to your adventures! And it's going to be really
exciting.
Ness: If you say so... You really think being psychic makes it cool?
Y. Link: Of course! I mean, all I can do is add an element to my arrows. How lame is that? But you can
blow stuff up with your mind!
Ness: That's true. ‘Splosions rock!
Y. Link: Totally.
(Silence.)
Ness: Hang on, is that him?
Y. Link: Where? Oh, wait, that might be him! Wait, no... nope. Not him.
Ness: Darn. At this rate, I think we're going to be late, getting to bed. Remember Luigi and Wario?
Y. Link: No, I think we're safe. We're doing something meaningful, after all. Those two just goof off.
Ness: Yeah. I feel sorry for Luigi, though.

Y. Link; Yeah? Why's that?
Ness: Well, cuz he was always just that other guy, you know? He's always in Mario's shadow. It must be
tough, for him.
Y. Link: Maybe. But, then again, there was that one time when Luigi saved Mario. Now, that's no small
thing, to have to save Mario.
Ness: Well, sure, but that was just one time.
Y. Link: I don't know. Call it a hunch, but I think Luigi's going to have another adventure.
Ness: You think?
Y. Link: I just think it's about time, you know?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the field ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Sonic: +Man, how big is this planet? Hmm, maybe I shouldn't have taken that one turn, back there. I'm
sure I would have circled this place at least once, by now.+
(Suddenly, growling is heard.)
Sonic: Shut up, stomach! I know you're hungry, but I can't do anything about it. Oh, man. Now I'm
starting to get tired! Well, maybe I'll feel better in the morning. No, not yet! I know I can keep going.
(Sonic runs a little longer.)
Sonic: Say, what's that? Could it be? A person? Yes, it is! HEEEEYYY!!!
(Sonic runs up to the Ice Climbers and Bowser Jr.)
Sonic: Boy, am I glad to see you guys! I've been running for ages! Say, do you know which way to get out
of here?
Popo: Hey, Sonic! Oh, hang on. Nana, where's the flare.
Bowser Jr.: Right here. Just a moment...
(Bowser Jr. sets off the flare. Moments later, the other flares go up.)
Nana: That's it! Okay, let's get going.
(About ten minutes later, everyone has met up at the door.)
Peach: Hello, Sonic. I'm so sorry this had to happen to you.

Sonic: Not a problem. Thanks for coming after me. Now, can we please get out of here? Really, I need a
chili-dog. Like, fast.
(We join Link and Krystal, about half-way through their journey to Argos, a city on Samus's world, where
Link is to have a procedure to check out his brain. It's a little cramped, inside the Arwing...)
Link: Um, is they any particular reason why we're in this little ship? Don't you have something, you
know, a little bigger?
Krystal: No, I don't, and I apologize if we're a little... close... for comfort. Although, I would think that our
closeness is comforting, to you. To be near a comrade you can trust...
Link: Oh, I trust you... but you're not making this any easier on me.
Krystal: Why in the world is that?
(Krystal bends backwards, around her seat, and looks at Link upside-down. This also has the effect of
making her bust strain against the fabric of her suit.)
Link: (cough) Well, er, you're, um... ahem. Never mind. Shouldn't you keep your eyes on- er, well,
forward?
(Krystal just raises an eyebrow, and rights herself.)
Krystal: Hm. You're not much fun. You know, I could... put this ship on auto-pilot and give you a
massage. You're awfully tense. It makes me feel bad, seeing a friend so worked up. Why don't you let
me help you... relax?
Link: See? Right there. That's not helping.
Krystal: (sigh) Link... My sense of smell is pretty strong. I can smell many women on you. I thought you
wouldn't have a problem with me.
Link: WHAT!? Oh, lord, um, no, yeah. What? Listen, Krystal, the reason I... what's that thing I do with
them? Whatever. I do it because I have a special connection with them.
(Krystal turns around, making her bosom stretch the fabric again, and looks at Link with big, sad eyes.)
Krystal: So, I'm not special, to you?
Link: Exactly. I mean, no. I mean, yes! I don't know! This isn't helping, either! I'm losing my memory, and
all you can think of is... what exactly were you thinking of?
Krystal: Oh, you don't even remember what I'm suggesting? Mmm, then this will be like your first time.
Link, all I want to do is help you relax. Really. Honest.
Link: Really? Well, I do feel pretty tense... I- I suppose it can't hurt.

Krystal: Quite the opposite, Link. It's going to help you feel very, very nice.
Link: Are you sure?
Krystal: Very sure.
Link: Well... okay, I'll do it. What do I do?
(Krystal gets a smoldering look in her eyes. A smile plays over her muzzle. The kind of smile that would
make normal men fear for their lives. Her voice becomes as smooth and sensual as silk.)
Krystal: All you have to do is lie back... and let me take care of you.
(Figure it out. About a half-hour later, they're naked, with Krystal in Link's lap.)
Krystal: See, Link? Wasn't that nice?
Link: Something doesn't quite seem right about this. Buuut... it was really fun, and I feel much better,
now. Do you think can we do that again, please?
Krystal: Of course, dear. Just let me plot a new course.
Link: A new course? Where were we going, in the first place? I think it was kind of important.
Krystal: It can wait, sweetie. Trust me, it'll be worth the wait.
Link: Oh, that's right. We're going to do more of that stuff that was really nice. This is really fun. I have a
lot of fun with you. .......
Krystal: Is something wrong?
Link: I..'m not sure. I feel kinduv bad, though, because I can't remember your name.
Krystal: That's alright, dear. Just call me mama.
Link: Mama? I like that... I love you, mama.
Krystal: Mmm. Mama loves you, too.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back at the Brawl Mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It's morning, at the mansion. Sonic has joined EXE, Bass, Marth and Roy. Meta-Knight, Blaziken and
Vaati are nowhere to be seen.)
Sonic: Hey, do either of you know where Blaziken and that short one are? Vaati?
EXE: No clue. Blaziken probably doesn't know when to eat, and Vaati probably thinks he's too evil and
high and mighty for our cafeteria.
Bass: I'm not sure about Blaziken. I bet he likes to hunt. He just seems like one of those people.
Sonic: Are you sure?
Bass: I used to hunt, for a long time. Trust me. He's a hunter, to the finger- ah, claw-tips.
Roy: (Japanese)
EXE: A problem? How?
Marth: (More Japanese)
EXE: Oh, right. Nothing to hunt, around here.
Sonic: Well, it's their loss. This place is great. I haven't had chili dogs this good in a while.
Roy: (More Japanese)
EXE: He's got a point. Don't you get sick from eating so much?
Sonic: Nah. I gotta eat a lot, if I want to keep my endurance up. Chili dogs work best, and they taste
really good.
Roy: (Even more Japanese, but sounds like a question)
EXE: No. Don't even think about it.
Sonic: What's he asking about?
EXE: Trust me. You don't want to know. Something to do with endurance.
Bass: Hey, where's Meta Knight? What's going on with him?
Marth: (Japanese)
EXE: Still in his room? Good lord, what happened to him?
(Suddenly, a small monkey in a red tank-top and red cap swings in, and drops onto the floor.)
DK: {DIDDY!}
Diddy: {DONKEY!}
(The red-shirt'ed ape called Diddy flies into Donkey Kong's arms. General confusion reigns.)
DK: {Oh, right. Everyone, I'd like you all to meet a good friend of mine. Diddy Kong. Diddy, don't tell
me...)
Diddy: {Ya darn right I'm a brawler!}
(Suddenly, again, a small boy in a white karate gi jumps in, and goes into a battle-ready stance. His head
is mostly bald, except for a short, black lock of hair, on top.)
Ness: POO!
(Snicker snicker.)
Poo: Hello, Ness! Guess who's your other brawler?
(The two friends hug. Bowser Jr. bursts out laughing.)
Ness: What's the big deal?
Bowser Jr.: (snicker snicker snicker) .... POOOO!!! (falls out of chair, laughing)
Poo: Don't laugh, turtle! I could kick you right out of your shell!
(Bowser Jr. just keeps laughing.)
Ness: Whatever. Come on. Let's get you some doughnuts, and I'll tell you about what's going on.
Poo: Something's going on? I thought it was just us fighting, or something.
Ness: It goes a little deeper than that. Donkey Kong, you got Diddy, right?
(DK just gives a thumbs-up.)
Ness: Okay. Poo, you like jelly, right?
Popo: Wait, there's something I'm confused, about.
Ness: What's that?
Popo: ..... Where is that thing Diddy swung in on?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Blaziken is roaming the halls.)
Blaziken: +I can't stand this! These people are trying to domesticate me. Don't they have any Stantler?
Even a Miltank will do. Hell, I'd settle for a frickin' Goldeen! Urg. I gotta hunt for something!+
(Suddenly, he comes upon Vaati.)

Vaati: What the? What the hell are you?
Blaziken: Blaziken. Blay, ziken
Vaati: Oh. You're one of those animals. This place just keeps getting dumber and dumber, doesn't it?
Blaziken: +Animal? Dumb? I do believe I just found my first prey.+
(Blaziken curls his claws into a fist. He holds it in front of Vaati's face, and it bursts into flames.)
Vaati: What's this? You want to fight me? Hmph. You're still below me, but I suppose it'll shut the rest of
them up, if I make an example out of you. Let's go.
(Just out of sight.)
Pit: +Hoo hoo. This is going to be great. I'll just see where they're going, and then I'll tell the rest of
them.+
(Pit follows the two until they reach the Endless Field.)
Vaati: This should do nicely. It'll have plenty of room for our... spectators.
Pit: +And, that would be my cue to leave.+
(Pit runs all the way to the cafeteria.)
Pit: VAATI AND BLAZIKEN ARE FIGHTING IN THE ENDLESS FIELD!
(Pit runs out. After a moment of silence, the rest of them follow.)
Wario: Alright. This time I'm bound to win! If Vaati wins, you're buying for a week!
Luigi: Deal! If-a Blaziken wins, you're-a buying for a week!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Meta-Knight is sitting in his room... just sitting, staring into space. He is not wearing mask or cape.)
......... (silence)
MK: ....... (sniff)
?: You miss her?
(Meta-Knight nods)
?: Wish you could have her back, don't you?

(Sniff)(Nod)
?: ..... I could help you, if you would be willing to help me.
(We join Samus and all them, on their way to find Smithy, at the edge of the universe.)
................ (Silence.)
Ganondorf: ......... A family walks-

Mewtwo: <That's it! Mental agony!>
(Mewtwo's eyes flash, and suddenly, Ganondorf's head starts jerking around, violently.)
Gardevoir: <Dear, please don't. I'm aware that you're only trying to protect me, but he's going to snap
his neck.>
(Mewtwo's eyes go back to normal, and Ganondorf's head stops shaking.)
Ganondorf: Never, ever do that again. Good lord, I think my neck just stretched an inch.
Mewtwo: <Stop trying to say that disgusting story.>
BM: If you two don't stop, I'm going to shove some cherry bombs down your throats! Now, shut it!
(Silence.)
Geno: Attention, all! We're coming up on the edge of the universe. I don't know what's going to happen
when we come out of sub-space, so brace yourselves.
(Everyone buckles in, and holds tight. A moment passes.... then another... a minute passes, without any
noticeable change.)
Snake: Umm.... Are we out?
Geno: Scans indicate that we're in normal space. Interesting. It seems like it's only rough going into sub-
space. Well, whatever. I have Smithy's workshop on short-range sensors. We'll be there in a couple
minutes. Look, you can see it, now, out the window.
(Samus unbuckles herself, and floats over to a window. In the distance, there is what looks like a factory
built into an asteroid.)
Samus: Smithy... Should we be prepared for battle?
Geno: I'm not sure what kind of defenses there are. However, it would be best to be prepared for the
worst. Everyone, get ready.
Snake: Terrific. So, is there an atmosphere, or something?
Geno: Hang on.... scans show an artificial atmosphere, with typical air. Wait, there seems to be
something else, in the air. One moment.... What the hell is phazon?
Samus: PHAZON!? What's it doing here?
BM: Interesting. Would you care to fill us in on what phazon is?
Samus: Oh, sorry. In short, phazon is a semi-sentient radioactive material. In it's purest form, which
might be what is in the air, here, it's extremely poisonous, and very corrosive, and kills, quickly.
Ganondorf: Wait... Geno, what kind of air are we breathing?
Snake: Relax. Any air that's taken in from the outside goes through very thorough screening and
filtering. I seriously doubt you're breathing phazon, right now.
Mewtwo: <Am I the only one who remembers that we have to walk around in that stuff? I'm sure there
are suits designed for space-walking, but will they stand up to phazon?
Snake: Of course. Geno, Mewtwo just reminded us that we're going to have to go out there. Are the
space-suits able to stand up to the phazon?
Geno: One moment... I estimate about 5 minutes of prolonged exposure before conditions become
hazardous.
Snake: That'll be enough to get inside. Hopefully, it won't be as bad. That should be more than long
enough to get inside. Now, unfortunately, we only have, er, human-shaped suits. And, Ganondorf,
nothing in your size. Samus, can you use your Power Suit, for this?
Samus: I didn't think we would be in such abnormal atmosphere. I don't have the transformation
module that holds my Power suit, but I can use the space-walking suit, just fine. Are you saying it's just
going to be us?
G&W: BEEP!
Snake: Game&Watch? Hold up... you want to come with us?
G&W: Beep.
Geno: Let him. He doesn't need air to live, and his body isn't exactly flesh. I'm sure he'll be able to
handle the phazon air at least as long as you.
Samus: Are you sure you want to do this?
G&W: Beep.
Snake: I'm assuming that's a yes. Alright, Samus, let's get suited up.
Mewtwo: <Hang on. We're coming, too. Don't worry. Between me and my love, here, we can put up a
barrier that will keep out all phazon. We'll be fine.
Ganondorf: Would it be possible to make room for myself?
BM: If you're all going, so am I.
Gardevoir: <Of course. Samus, is that alright?>
Samus: Hm. I suppose if things start getting hairy, it would be best to have all the help we can get.
Geno? How about you? I have your body, right here.
Geno: Er, Smithy might not be as amiable if I'm with you. I'm sorry, but I think I should stay back, for this.
But, could you leave my body here? In case things get out of control, and you need back-up, or
something. I know how powerful Smithy can be.
Snake: Of course. Alright, everyone. Let's get going.
(A few minutes later, the Geno-ship lands. The hatch opens, and everyone comes out, one by one, with
Snake and Samus wearing their suits.)
Snake: (kscch) Alright, this is it. Samus and I will range ahead. The rest of you, stay close, and stay back, a
bit.
(They all move in, and come to the front door. Samus and Snake sidle up on either side of the door, guns
at the ready. Snake then signals for Ganondorf to bust down the door. Ganondorf moves in, starts
charging a Gerudo Punch, and...)
(K-CHAK! EEEeEeeEe... The door opens, and there stands Smithy.)
Smithy: Thank god you're all here! Quick, inside! Now!
(Silence. The dark fire of Ganondorf's Gerudo Punch fizzles, and goes out.)
Ganondorf: Uhhh... What?
Smithy: If you're here, then you know about Mario's creation, right? You're searching for a way to
destroy him. If you want to know, then get inside, now.
(After a moment's hesitation, Samus lowers her weapon, though still keeps it at the ready, and walks
inside. A moment later, the rest follow, cautiously.)
Geno: ..... Looks like they're fine. I didn't expect Smithy to invite them in. Well, what am I going to do ,
now? Hmm..... Let's see what we have in Snake's personal files... Oh... oh, my. ..... Wow.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Inside Smithy's workshop ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Samus: Okay, let's start with the obvious. Why is the air filled with phazon?
Smithy: Who do you think stokes the fire?
(At that moment, Dark Samus floats around a corner. Without hesitating, Samus runs forward,
brandishing her laser-whip. Smithy suddenly gets in her way.)
(Note: For those of you who don't know what Dark Samus looks like, here's a fair representation.)
http://revolutionmedia.ign.com/revolution/image/article/706/706196/metroid-prime-3-corruption-
20060509000452739.jpg
Smithy: Wait! It's a victim, just like me! Please, just, hear us out.
Samus: That abomination has given me too much trouble! It's the source of all phazon! It's the reason
why the Chozo died out! I must destroy it!
(Snake gets a strong grip on Samus' shoulders, stopping her from rushing at Dark Samus.)
Snake: Wait! Samus, don't! If Smithy is telling us what I think he's telling us, we need Dark Samus!
Smithy: He's right. Between the two of us, we are the ones making the Smash Emblems that you'll need.
If you want to take out that thing Mario created, you're going to need them.
Samus: I don't care! It must die!
Snake: Listen, you'll have your opportunity, later. For now, we need it.
Mewtwo: <Wait... I think it's trying to speak, or... something.>
(After a moment of silence, a bunch of blue sparkles coalesce, and form words.)
*Mark my words, mortal. The first chance I get, I will rid the universe of your existence. However, this
takes precedence over our own conflict. You will be free of my wrath... for now.*
(For a long moment, Samus stares at the message, hanging in the air. She straightens up, and shrugs
Snake's hands off her shoulders.)
Samus: For now.... (sigh) Fine. Alright, Smithy. Start talking. How can we take out The Deity?
Smithy: The Deity? Is that what you're calling it? A fitting name. Very well, listen up...
(Smithy explains how to destroy The Deity.)
Smithy: It's going to take some time to make them, however. We didn't expect anyone would find out
about any of this. And, we certainly didn't expect anyone besides Mario and The Deity to be able to
come out this far. How did you do it?
BM: As a matter of fact, our friend G-

Mewtwo: <A wizard did it.>
Ganondorf: Yes. A wizard. Look, the way we got here isn't important. You say it's going to take some
time? Well, I suggest you get to work.
Smithy: (sigh) Of course, of course. Come, Dark Samus, we have work to do. You can all wait in your ship.
This is going to take a few hours, at least.
(After a tense moment of Samus staring into Smithy's eyes, she turns around, and heads out. The rest
follow, and they all return to the Geno-ship. Inside, Ganondorf stretches his arms wide.)
Ganondorf: AaaAahh. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm ready for some rest.
Samus: Rest? Right now?
BM: You heard Smithy, Samus. We have a few hours to kill. It's not like pacing about anxiously, wasting
energy and whatnot, is going to make them work faster. Besides, if we rushed them, those things won't
turn out like they should.
Snake: He's right, dear. The situation is out of our hands, for a while. Let's just relax.
Samus: Snake...
Geno: Hey, have you all forgotten that I'm here, too? Would you care to fill me in?
(And so, they tell Geno everything that happened.)
Geno: Uh-huh. So, that's how it's done. It's pretty obvious, now that we've heard it, isn't it?
Snake: Our thoughts, exactly. That took about 5 minutes. What are we going to do with the next few
hours?
Ganondorf: A family walks-

(Mental agony.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Four-ish hours later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
BM: .... and then there was the time I stuck a fire-cracker in a frog's-
Geno: Hold that thought, Bomber-Man. It looks like Smithy is headed this way.
Samus: Thank you! Open the hatch, I'll meet him.
(Samus jumps out of the Geno-ship, and walks up to Smithy.)
Smithy: Whew! Alright. We were only able to make five. We tried for one more, but we ran out of
material.
Samus: What? What are these made of?
Smithy: The regular ones are made out of a kind of stone. Those are made of a mythic ore, called
orihalcon. I think about one-tenth of all the orihalcon in the universe is in this case, right here.
(Smithy hands over a small, leather-covered case. Samus opens it up.)
Samus: .... Silver?
Smithy: I was getting to that. You see, the thing about orihalcon is that when it's made into a specific
weapon, only certain people can use that weapon. When that person comes along, the weapon will turn
gold.
Samus: So, you're saying that it will turn golden, and be usable, but it can only be used by certain
people.
Smithy: Exactly. So, you're going to have to figure it out, on your own.
Samus: Tell me again how they're different from regular ones.
Smithy: The regular ones don't effect The Deity at all. These ones are endowed with powers very similar
to his, but different enough that he will be harmed. Also, the users will become invulnerable to most of
his powers, but they can still be harmed by regular attacks.
Samus: Excellent. That's all we need. Oh, one last thing. I'm getting the feeling that these things are
radiating some kind of energy. Wouldn't The Deity sense them, and do something about them before we
can use one of them?
Samus: Way ahead of you. Underneath the leather, is a metal that has power-dampening properties to
it. As long as the gaze of The Deity doesn't fall directly on the case, he won't sense it. Keep it hidden. Or,
better yet, keep it out, among many other things. Either way, there's a good chance that he won't know
about them, until it's too late.
Samus: Alright. I see. Thank you.
Smithy: No, thank you. And, good luck.
(Samus enters the Geno-ship.)
Mewtwo: 
Samus: Don't worry about it.
(Samus tell them about what's in the case, and all that.)
BM: Damn. So, what are we going to call them?
Gardevoir: <Bomberman has a point. Something with this much power needs a name.>
Ganondorf: Hmm.... Nah, that's dumb.
Snake: What's that?
Ganondorf: ..... The Giga-Smash.
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: See? Dumb.
Samus: .... I like it.
BM: It's catchy. And, it says everything in just three little words. Well, two, if you don't count the "the."
Geno: Indeed. So be it. They shall be known as "The Giga-Smash" coins
Snake: Fantastic. Alright, now that we got what we came for, let's get back to the mansion.
Geno: Right-o.
(Geno powers up, takes off, and slips into sub-space.)
Samus: (whew) I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that. Okay. Since we're going to be here for a
while, I suppose we ought to find out if any of us are capable of using these.
(Samus opens up the case, and takes out a single Gig-Smash coin. It instantly turns a brilliant gold color.)
Snake: Well, well. Right out of the box, we have a winner.
Samus: Oh, my... this is... I can feel the power! It's... amazing!
Ganondorf: Settle down, there. Pass that thing around.
(Samus reluctantly hands it to Snake. It turns back to silver. Snake hands it to Mewtwo, and it stays
silver. Mewtwo hands it to Bomberman, and it stays silver. Bomberman hands it to Ganondorf... it
shines brightly, again.)
Ganondorf: Holy BALLS! The rush! The absolute power! HAAAhahahah- urgh!
Mewtwo: <Mental agony. It never fails.>
Ganondorf: Alright, alright! I'm done! Stop!
(Ganondorf hands the coin back to Samus, who stares at it for a moment, whistfully, then places it back
in the case, and closes it.)
Geno: Um, guys? I figure now would be as good a time as any to tell you something. We gotta make a
stop at Mario's world.
Snake: Mario's world? Why?
Geno: Well.... Yoshi has been reborn...
Samus: WHAT?!
Geno: .... and we're going there to pick him up.
Snake/Samus: WHAT!?
Ganondorf: Do we need to remind you of what Yoshi did?
Geno: I know, I know. Listen, I... I have my orders. I am to retrieve Yoshi, take him back to the mansion,
where we will all raise him. I'm sorry, but I must carry out these orders.
Snake: Orders? Since when the hell did you take orders from anyone?
Geno: I'll have you know that Star Road has a hierarchy, just like any civilization. I happen to be one of
the top... well, I guess you could call us administrators.
BM: Administrators?
Geno: Well, the official title is Seraphim, but that's just a fancy way of saying administrator. Anyway,
we're going to Mario's world, and that's that.
Snake: And, if we object?
Geno: Simple. I leave this ship, and take a different form, later. Of course, that would leave you guys
stranded in sub-space for all time, because I'm the only one who could possibly know how to get out.
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: You would have made a great evil character.
(Krystal's Arwing touches down in a small clearing, near a hut. Krystal and Link, naked as the day they
were born, jump out.)
Link: Where is this, mama?
Krystal: This is my little home away from home. We're going to be living here, for a while.
Link: Neat. Will I be needing any of my stuff?
(Link reaches for his Master Sword, but Krystal quickly grabs his wrist, and pulls it away.)
Krystal: Now, now, dear. Let mama take care of this stuff. You grab our clothes, and we'll go inside.
(Link picks up all their clothes, and walks in. Right inside is a lovely sort of dining room.)
Link: This is nice. Did you do all this, mama?
Krystal: Most of it. Now, let me show you where we'll be sleeping.
Link: We're sleeping together? Isn't that... creepy?
Krystal: Don't you love your mama?
Link: Of course I- oh, I get it. Since I love you so much, it's okay.
Krystal: Exactly. Now, do you remember that fun stuff we did in my plane?
Link: Again? Alright!
Krystal: Sweet boy. Except, this time, we're going to have a lot more room. It's going to be a lot more
fun.
(On the way up to their bedroom, Krystal takes Link's Master Sword and shield, drops them in a chest,
and locks it. She puts the key in a drawer next to the bed.)
Krystal: Okay, dear. Let's get started.
(Figure it out. Some time later...)
Krystal: You're still up?! It's nice to know I have such a strong boy. Well, we're not going to stop until
you're all tuckered out!
(2 goddam hours later.)
Link: Unh! Hoo! Okay... I'm ready for a nap.
Krystal: I should hope so. That was amazing. Mama's so proud of you.
Link: Thank you, mama. I love you.
Krystal: I love you, too.
(They fall asleep in each others arms.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone has gathered just inside the Endless Field. Blaziken and Vaati are squaring off.)
Ness: Who do you think is gonna win?

Y. Link: I don't know. Hey, Wario, who do you think is gonna win?
Wario: My money's on the evil kid!
Y. Link: Right. I'm betting on Blaziken.
Wario: HEY! I might be right.
Luigi: Wario, you haven't-a won a bet since you came here. Don't you think you should stop?
Wario: Never! The Law of Probability states that soon, very soon, I'm going to be right. Besides, this will
be a great opportunity to see what they can do.
Luigi: Whatever. You're still-a buyin'
(Over by the combatants.)
Vaati: It seems we've attracted quite an audience. I hope you don't... slip... under the pressure. Of
course, it doesn't matter. There's no way you can hurt me.
Blaziken: Blaziken, blaziken. Blaziken.
Vaati: What? Oh, whatever.
(By the audience.)
Peach: Kirby, what did he say?
Kirby: Puyo... puyo puyo, puyo. {Um... I don't think I should repeat it.}
Pikachu: PIKACHUUU!
(And so, they start fighting.... and fighting, and fighting, and fighting...)
Mario: What's-a going on here?
All: AH!
Peach: M-Mario! I, er, we weren't expecting you.
Mario: Why are these two fighting?!
Wario: (cough) Oh, you know Vaati. It was only a matter of time before he insulted someone who's
going to fight back. It just so happened that Blaziken was that one.
Mario: Hmm..... Who do you think is going to win?

Wario: I'm betting on Vaati.
Mario: Luigi, put me down for 20 coins on Blaziken.
Wario: HEY!
(Blaziken and Vaati exchange blows, for a while. All the while...)
Vaati: +Urgh! How? How could anyone hurt me? Fine. I'm going to have to take this seriously, then.+
Blaziken: +Stupid animal... I'll show this wretched... child what I'm truly capable of.+
(Blaziken bunches himself up, and starts glowing. Vaati dashes at him, holding a ball of dark energy in his
hand. Right before Vaati contacts with the energy, Blaziken spreads out, and a field of heat and fire
radiates out from him.)
Pichu: PICHU!
Kirby: Puyo?
Popo: Overheat? Wow... and we're going to have to fight that.
(And, so, they fight. Until, eventually...)
Vaati: HU-WAAAAAaaaahh!!!
(Silence.)
Luigi: ....... You're-a buying.
Wario: I don't get it... this was supposed to be my turn to win. Curse you, Vaati!
Peach: ...... Now what?
Zelda: This seems to be a bit anti-climactic, doesn't it?
Pit: Are you joking? Vaati's been humbled! Blaziken's done something to shut that little kid up. I don't
know about the rest of you, but Blaziken's a hero, to me.
Ness: He's got a point... three cheers for Blaziken! Hip-hip!
All: HOORAY!
Blaziken: Blay? (cough) Blaziken.
Kirby: Puyo, puyo. Puyo.

Y. Link: Totally! Thank you for taking him down. I bet he's never going to act all high-and-mighty again.
Serves him right, getting beat, like that.
Pit: Hey, Blaziken, if you're interested, I make a steak that you would not believe.
Blaziken: Blay? Blaziken...
Pit: Uh, sure. I'll show you where I get my meat.
Blaziken: Blaziken!
Zelda: I daresay, you just found the right button to push.
(And, so, everyone leaves the Endless Field, leaving Vaati lying there, unconscious. About an hour
later...)
Vaati: Uuunnh.... what happened? Where did everybody go?
?: You were defeated, Vaati. You were beaten, and the rest of them left you
Vaati: That's right... I guess they're stronger than I thought. At least, that one is.
?: Or, maybe you're not strong enough. Did you ever think of that?
Vaati: Impossible. I'm extremely powerful. I just underestimated my opponent. That's all there is to it.
?: Perhaps.... But, why take that chance? Wouldn't you like to be absolutely sure of your strength?
Vaati: I was. That hubris was my downfall.
?: You're wrong! And I can prove it to you. I can help you become stronger. Stronger than all of them. Of
course, I'll need something in return...
Vaati: Hmm.... Who are you? Or, more importantly, why am I only hearing a disembodied voice?
?: If you agree to help me, then I'll show myself. The greatest power can be your's, Vaati! Do not throw
this chance away!
Vaati: ....... Nice try, but I don't "help" anyone. Now, stop speaking to me.
(Silence.)
Vaati: That's right. And stay away.
(Vaati walks back into the mansion.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TD: I'm impressed. I really thought he would be swayed by the thought of revenge, and ultimate power.
Mario: Shows what you know. He's-a too smart to give in, just like that. And, he's-a too proud to except
help.
TD: ..... Mario... father... Do you think I enjoy doing this?
(Huge smack, and stomping.)
TD: You (stomp) think (stomp) I (stomp) enjoy (stomp) doing (stomp) this? (sigh) (stops stomping) Well...
perhaps I do.
(Maniacal laughter and more stomping.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Just outside Yoshi Island ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno has returned to his body.)
Geno: Okay. I'm only going to be a little bit. I doubt it'll take long, you guys just sit tight.
(Geno heads into Yoster town, the city of Yozards. He goes right up to a blue Yozard.)
Geno: Greetings. I am here to see a certain Yozard. He's green, and was hatched not too long ago. May I
ask your name?
Boshi: {The names Boshi, and I know who you're looking for. You know, he looks really familiar. Kind of
like an old friend...}
Geno: ..... Exactly. That's Yoshi, reincarnated.
Boshi: {Say what!?}
Geno: I know. I said the same thing when I found out. Anyway, I have come here to retrieve him, and
take him to his new home. Would you please take me to him?
Boshi: {Wow... reborn... amazing.}
Geno: Yes, it's amazing. Would you please?
Boshi: {Uh, sure.}
(Boshi takes Geno to a large incubator.)
Geno: Excellent. There you are... Yoshi.
(Geno pulls out the tiny, adorable, baby Yoshi.)

Geno: Come along, little guy. I'm going to take you to meet your friends. You don't know what I'm
talking about, but you'll see, soon enough.
Boshi: {Say, uh... we never found out what happened to him. We know he died, but how?}
Geno: Hmm. I think it would be better for you to not know. Besides, there's really no need, now is
there?
Boshi: ..... {He went berserk, didn't he? Damn. It's a strange thing to see, isn't it? He's one of the
sweetest guys you could ever know, then he turns absolutely blood-thirsty.}
Geno: Yes... Of course, now everyone knows about it, so we'll be extra careful. Uh, say, how do we care
for him?
Boshi: {Oh, it's not that hard. Just toss it some fruit, and such, and he'll grow like a weed. That's the
great thing about Yozards. Anyway... I suppose that's really it. Oh, make sure he has plenty of room to
run around, in. We Yozards love to run.}
Geno: Yes... Thank you, Boshi. I promise, we will raise him right.
Boshi: {I'm sure you will.}
(Geno returns to the ship.)
Samus: Is that him? Awwww! He's so cute! Come here, you!
(Samus swipes Yoshi away, and coddles him mercilessly. Yoshi seems to be eating it up.)
Geno: (cough) Right. Well, I think we're done, here. Shall I take control of the ship?
Snake: Nah. I got it, this time.
(They head into the ship, and buckle in.)
G&W: <Geno, can you hear me?>
Geno: <It's good to be back. It sucked, not being able to hear things telepathically.>
G&W: <Mm. Anyway, I have something to ask you abo->

Samus: Oh! I almost forgot! Geno... (opens up the Giga-Smash case) we have to test you.
(Geno reaches out, and picks up a Giga-Smash coin. It stays silver. Geno puts it back.)
Geno: Eh. No big deal. Of course, it'll be difficult finding out who the other users are.
Samus: Mm. We'll think of something, I'm sure.
G&W: <What a shame. Anyway, I have to ask you something.>

Geno: <Shoot.>
G&W: <It's about Smithy... can we trust him? What if these little coins don't work, or something?>
Geno: .... <Well... It's hard to believe that he wants to help us. However, I think it's easier to believe that
he wants The Deity dead. So, yes, I trust him... just this once.>
Samus: Gitchy-gitchy-goo!
Mewtwo: <Am I the only massively creeped out by the way Samus is acting?>
Ganondorf: Not by a long shot.
Gardevoir: <Oh, but he's just adorable! Let me hold him, Samus. Yes, you're the sweetest little thing I've
ever seen! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!>
Mewtwo: <Can you taste the bile?>
(Everyone is finally returning to the mansion, for the final showdown with The Deity.)
Samus: So cute!
Mewtwo: <So help me, God, if either of you make one more little comment about that reptile, I will
cause mental agony for the both of you.>
Gardevoir: <You're just mad because I think he's cuter than you.>
Mewtwo: 
Samus: Hmph. He's definitely just jealous that he's not getting any attention.
BM: No, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the two of you continuously flapping your noise-
holes.
(Silence. Snake glances back from the cockpit.)
BM: What? It's true, isn't it?
Ganondorf: This walking explosive has a point. You two are-
(Suddenly, the Triforce mark in the back of Ganondorf's left hand glows brightly. A moment later, there's
a brilliant flash, and Ganondorf is floating amongst whiteness. All the others are gone.)
Ganondorf: What the? Is this... The Sacred Realm?
?: Ganondorf, we are in need of your aid.

Ganondorf: Such power. Who, no, what are you?
Din: I am Din, Goddess of Power, and creator of the Triforce of Power. The Triforce that you hold.
Ganondorf, though I and my sisters frown upon your actions, we are in need of your aid. Link is in great
danger of losing himself.
Ganondorf: So? That's good for me. Let him get lost.
Din: Ganondorf, if Link should be lost, then the balance will be out of control. You will be so overcome
by power, you will go insane.
Ganondorf: There was not one part of that sentence I didn't like.
Din: When you go insane, you will destroy everything you see.
Ganondorf: Aaaand...?
Din: Ganondorf, you will eventually destroy yourself. In a very, very horrendous way.
Ganondorf: Uh-huh. Why didn't you say that in the first place?
Din: I thought you were smarter than that. Now, if you wish to stay in balance, and keep your sanity, you
must find Link, and restore his mind.
Ganondorf: Yuh-huh. How do I do that?
Din: That is something I cannot tell you. Only you can figure it out.
Ganondorf: Hang on, why don't you just have the Courage Goddess - what's her name? Farore? - Why
doesn't she go after Link?
Din: Link's mind is already too far gone for my sister to be able to contact him. It must be you. Now, you
must go.
Ganondorf: Wait! Where the hell is he?
Din: Follow the pull of your Triforce.
(There's another great flash, and Ganondorf finds himself back in his seat, on Snake's plane, with Snake's
wet finger in his ear.)
Ganondorf: INNA NERTS!
(Ganondorf punches Snake right in the junk. Snake goes down, squealing.)
Mewtwo: <Told ya that would bring him back!>

Geno: I know that look you had in your eyes, Ganondorf. Did you have a vision?
Ganondorf: Ya damn right! Come on. We can't go back to the mansion, just yet.
Samus: What? Are you insane?
Ganondorf: No, but I will be if Snake do- Snake?
(Snake is curled into a fetal position, holding his balls.)
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Gardevoir: <Oh my god! Was that his first word?>
(So, after a few long minutes, Snake regains his composure, and Ganondorf tells his vision.)
Snake: (cough) Yeah, I see why this is so important.
Ganondorf: Yeah, um, hey, about that shot... you probably deserved it. Karma, and all that.
Snake: Yeah? Well, if that's true, that means you're going to get a sledge-hammer right where it hurts.
And for all you know, it'll be me on the other end.
Samus: Hey, could we please go find Link, then? It'd be kind of nice if we didn't have to see Ganondorf
go berserk. Did Din give you any kind of time frame?
Ganondorf: Now that you mention it, she didn't. That probably means I should go, quickly.
Geno: And, she said to follow your Triforce? Huh. It probably means you can use it as a homing beacon.
Try concentrating on Link, and see what you feel.
Ganondorf: Ugh. This is not how I want to spend my day. Fine.
(Ganondorf closes his eyes, and focuses. A moment later...)
Ganondorf: There he is... Alright, Snake. I got a lock on him.
Snake: Excellent. Point the way.
(And so, Snake homes in on the spot Ganondorf points out. Snake finds it on his charts, and realizes it
isn't the planet the mansion is on.)
Snake: What's he doing there? Why the hell isn't he at the mansion?
Mewtwo: 
Gardevoir: <Yes, I could feel it, as well. It was like parts of his brain were slowly dropping away.>
Samus: Yeesh. That explains the "losing himself" bit. How did he get there?
BM: Hopefully, we'll find out when we get there.
(A couple hours later...)
Snake: Are you sure it's from that planet?
Ganondorf: Positive.
Snake: Hmm... Hang on, I'm picking up some heat signatures. What the-?
BM: What's up?
Snake: He's living in a... a cottage. An actual, liveable domicile. It looks like a nice one, too.
Samus: That must mean he's either not as crazy as we thought, or he's with someone.
Snake: I can't tell. This ship was built mostly for transportation and combat. It isn't equipped with
scanners sensitive enough to give me more than what we know, right now.
Ganondorf: No problem. Just set us down close, and we'll take a closer look, ourselves.
(Twenty minutes later, they touch down, and are all outside.)
Samus: Alright. It's night. I think we should take this opportunity to see what's going on, in there. For all
we know, Link might be tearing something up.
Snake: Got it. Game&Watch, with me?
G&W: Beep?
Snake: Why you? (cough) You, er, blend in with the night.
(Silence.)
Geno: Did... did you just...
G&W: <Let it slide. Just... dammit, let it go.>
(Snake and Game&Watch sneak over to the hut. About five minutes later, they return.)
Samus: What did you guys see?
Snake/G&W: ...............
Ganondorf: Come on. Out with it.

Snake: I'm done. I'm getting in the plane, and I'm staying there.
Geno: Good lord. Game&Watch? Are you broken?
G&W: <I've witnessed things... I've seen things.... I've CREATED things that would scare anybody. But,
that... that is just... I'm going with Snake.>
(Snake and Game&Watch go into the plane, and shut the hatch.)
(Silence.)
BM: Well.... I guess that means... what, exactly?
Mewtwo: <It means we wait a bit, and then bust in there. Hopefully, whatever they saw will be done, by
then.>
(Twenty minutes later, just outside the cottage.)
Samus: Okay. Ganondorf, bust down the door.
(Ganondorf starts charging a Gerudo Punch, and...)
(click-click! Scree... There stands Link, naked as the day he was born, except for his cap.)
Link: Oh, hello. We weren't expecting anyone, at all... Say, you guys look familiar. Do I know you?
(Krystal comes down the stairs, wearing a short robe.)
Krystal: Link, sweetie, never answer the door when you're wearing nothing! That's... Oh... Um... Wow.
Samus: You have no idea.
Krystal: Um... Link, honey, go put on your clothes.
Link: Okay, mama. I love you.
Krystal: I... love you too, dear.
(Link goes upstairs.)
Geno: ...... Mama?
Krystal: (sigh) I suppose I should explain. Come on in. It's a little small, but it's cozy.
Samus: Bomberman, Geno, Mewtwo, if you want-
(Bomberman, Geno and Mewtwo turn as one, and head back to the ship, quickly. The rest go into the
cottage.)
Ganondorf: Why am I still here?
Samus: Because you're needed to brink back Link. Gardevoir, you're here to keep my brain from leaking
out of my head.
Gardevoir: <Of course.>
Ganondorf: You seem awfully calm, considering what we just witnessed.
Gardevoir: <Oh, don't worry. I'm going to have a break-down, probably shortly after we leave.>
(They all head into a kind of living room.)
Krystal: Okay, where should I begin?
Samus: From the beginning, of course. When we all left, Link was, well, Link, and nobody called you
mama.
Krystal: (sigh) Alright. Here's the story.
Ganondorf: Hang on. Before you do, could you please, you know, put something on?
Krystal: Oh! I'm so sorry! I'll be right back.
(Krystal runs upstairs, and comes back down, clad in her leather suit. Link is right behind her, dressed in
his tunic.)
Krystal: Link, sweetie, could you get mama some fresh water?
Link: But the stream is miles from here, and it's dark!
Krystal: Go, Link. Now.
Link: Hmph. Fine.
(Link stomps out the door.)
Krystal: (sigh) I'm so sorry about all this. I didn't intend for all this- (gestures around her) -to happen.
Alright, this is how it went.
(Krystal explains Link's memory loss, Argos, the city they were supposed to go to, and how they ended
up in the cottage.)
Ganondorf: Oh, good lord up high. I'm sure my insanity would have been less painful than this.
Samus: Shush. Alright, Krystal. You explained the how. Now, give us the why.
Krystal: ..... I'M SO LONELY!
(Krystal starts sobbing.)
Gardevoir: ..... <Well.>
Samus: Well, indeed.
Krystal: Oh, (sob) I'm so sorry about doing that. (sniff) You see... I've been with so many companions, in
my time.
Samus: Yes, we guessed that.
Krystal: The thing is, none of them... loved me. They were all just.... hopeless dreams. But, with Link...
after we were done... he told me... (sob) he told me he (sob) loves me. It felt... it was wonderful, to be
told that. I could see it in his eyes. He really does love me.
Samus: You took him away. You held him here, even though you knew that his mind is deteriorating...
because he loves you?
Krystal: Samus, you... you don't know! I've never been loved! Everyone else, they just did their thing,
and left. When Link told me that he loves me, it's like my life came out of the dark, into the light. Even
now, every time he tells me he loves me, it's another reason to go on. I've found the meaning of life, in
him.
Samus: No... No, I understand how you feel. I understand it, all too well.
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: (cough) Well, sure. But... mama?
Krystal: Oh, that... I don't know. It seemed right.
Gardevoir: <Well, we can deal with you, later. For now, we have to get Link back to normal.>
Krystal: Of course. It's best, for him to be... normal.
Gardevoir: <It goes a little deeper than that, I'm afraid. No matter. As soon as Link gets back, we can get
this straightened out.>
(About ten minutes later, the door opens, and closes.)
Link: I'm back, mama! Can you please tell me why- ...... What's going on, here?
Ganondorf: Link, it's time for you to come back to us.
Link: What are you talking about? Hey, wait... I remember! You're a bad man! Mama, where's my
sword?! I must defend you!
Krystal: No, Link, there's no need-
Ganondorf: No, let him! Of course. The Master Sword. It's so obvious. Where is the Master Sword?
Krystal: .... It's in a chest, in the upstairs hall.
(Ganondorf stumps up the stair, and comes down, carrying the entire chest.)
Ganondorf: Something tells me we should probably have some space, when this happens. Outside, Link.
If you wish to fight, we will do it there.
Link: Very well.
(They all go outside. Ganondorf lays the chest on the ground, busts the lock off it, and opens it up. Right
there, is Link's shield, and the Master Sword.)
Ganondorf: Pick up your weapon.
(Link straps the scabbard to his back. With his left hand, he picks up his shield, and the Master Sword
with his right. Nothing happens.)
Ganondorf: Switch hands. You must hold your sword with your left hand.
Link: Huh? I'm a righty.
Ganondorf: DO IT!
(Link quickly switches hands. Nothing happens.)
Gandondorf: Hmm.... Raise your sword, high, Link.
Link: This is getting ridiculous. Are we going to fight, or not?
Krystal: Link, please do as he says.
(Link looks very confused, but he raises the Master Sword aloft. At that moment, the Triforce of Courage
on the back of Link's hand shines brightly. The blade of the Master Sword suddenly blazes forth with a
tongue of blue fire. It shines brilliantly, for a moment, then goes out.)
Link: Wha? What the-.... Oh, god.
Ganondorf: Link? You in there?
Gardevoir: 
Krystal: ..... Link, sweetie...
Link: (deep breath) Get away...

(Krystal steps close, about to place a hand on Link's shoulder.)
Krystal: Link, I'm s-

Link: I SAID GET AWAY!
(Link shoves Krystal away from him, making her fall to the ground, and turns his back. Tears start welling
up in Krystal's eyes.)
Krystal: I'm... I'm so sorry.
Samus: .... Come on, Link. Snake has his ship not far from here. Erm, Krystal, you take your Arwing back
to the mansion.
(Link walks briskly ahead, holding his sword and shield close. Krystal slowly walks toward her Arwing,
gets in, and takes off. The rest of them head to, and get into Snake's plane.)
Snake: Link! Er, are you feeling alright?
Link: ...... Yeah. I'm fine.
(Snake raises an eyebrow, and leans in next to Ganondorf.)
Snake: What's with him?
Ganondorf: Ask Gardevoir to give you guys the story. Take us back to the mansion.
Snake: .... Oookay.
Geno: Samus, don't you have to retrieve your gunship?
Samus: No need. After you told us about Smithy, I instructed it to return to the mansion.
Link: Smithy? What are you guys talking about? Hang on... Geno, Game&Watch, I thought you were
going on a vacation. And Snake and Bomberman were- What's going on, here?
Samus: Hmm. I suppose you should know, as well.
(And so, they explain The Deity, Mr. Game&Watch, Smithy and Dark Samus, and the Giga-Smash. It's the
Giga-Smash that Link seems to be particularly interested in.)
Link: Giga-Smash, eh? And, it only responds to certain people? May I?
Samus: Of course.
(Samus pulls out the leather case, opens it up, and holds it out to Link. Link picks one up with his left
hand... the coin instantly shines a brilliant gold, and the Triforce in his hand shines just as brightly.)
Link: Oh, man... I, I feel like I can take on anything! Nothing can strike me down!
Geno: Good for you, Link. Put it back.
(Link reluctantly replaces the coin, then resumes his somber brooding.)
BM: Uh.... huh. Jus-

Samus: SHH! +Gardevoir, can you hear me?+
Gardevoir: <Yes, Samus. Would you like me to tell them?>
Samus: +Please. And, be gentle. We don't want them completely losing it.+
Yoshi: Yoshi?
Link: AH!
Geno: Oh, right. I forgot to tell you about Yoshi, didn't I?
Link: I'll kill it before it eats- eh?
Mewtwo: <Can't really do much when your muscles are locked, now can you? Settle down. He's
harmless. Unless, of course, you're vulnerable to the women fawning over that little reptile.>
Samus: Jealous.
Mewtwo: <Nauseous, I think, is the word.>
(Geno tells Link about Yoshi. Then, in the silence after, Gardevoir starts privately telling everyone
everything else.)
Link: ........ I see that! I see how you're looking at me! You, Gardevoir, you're telling them, aren't you?
Well, that's fine! Go ahead! I'm the victim! I'm the one who had severe brain problems! She's the one
who took advantage of me! It's all her *&^%ING FAULT!
(Silence.)
BM: Dude, she loved you. She loved you like no other. She took care of you, like a mother takes care of
her child.
Link: What do you know? She took advantage of me.
BM: Yeah, and I'm sure you hated every minute of it.
(Link just goes back to his brooding. And they travel to the mansion... to The Deity.)
(It's getting on toward evening, in the Brawl Mansion. Vaati is in his room, meditating.)
Vaati: +Just who the hell was that? Hmm. Some kind of higher being, I think, but not really. Certainly a
lot of power.+
?: Hey, Vaati.
Vaati: Oh, you again. Go away.
?: Wouldn't you at least like to see me? To know who I am?
Vaati: Uh-huh, sure. Then, when I meet you, you're going to blast me because I turned you down, and I
know to much, now.
?: Tuh. All you know is that I'm a disembodied voice.
Vaati: You're a disembodied voice with a lot of power, and you're in need of minions.
?: ..... What makes you think that?
Vaati: Simple. You offered me power beyond what I have, now. The only way you could do that is if you
were more powerful than I could comprehend. Although, I'm guessing it's a fairly generic god-of-all-
things-on-this-planet kind of power. Unfortunately, you can't read minds. Otherwise, you would have
already known that I know your power, because that's what I was just thinking about.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: I gotta hand it to him. He's-a got you fairly licked.
TD: Shut up, Mario.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in Vaati's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Vaati: Mario? You're with Mario?
?: Who said I'm with anybody?
Vaati: You just said "shut up, Mario." I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I imagine it isn't exactly to
your liking. So, tell me, just how is Mario connected to you? Is he your master? Or, is it the other way
around? Oh, wait, that's right. You're the powerful one. Then again, Mario does seem to do things a
little too perfectly, I hear. Hey, Mario, just how powerful are you?
?: Listen, I'm giving you one last chance. Come with me, be my comrade, and you will become more
powerful than you can possibly imagine.
Vaati: That's funny. The last time someone said that, they died. Still not caring. Go away.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back with The Deity and Mario ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

TD: Dammit, Vaati! Don't you thirst for more? Do you not hunger for the strength to rule them all? The
strength to bind them?
Mario: Face it. You lost him. He has-a beaten you, and he didn't even have to power up.
TD: Shut UP father!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In Vaati's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Vaati: Father? Now, that's just creepy. Oh, by the way, did you know that I can still hear you?
?: SHUT UP!!
Vaati: Hey, you're the one who keeps talking to me.
(Silence.)
Vaati: I hate this place. So much.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
EXE: So, Fox, how come you guys left?
Fox: Slippy was injured pretty badly. It's looking like he'll make it, but we wanted to be there, for him.
Falco: Poor little amphibian. Of course, I don't care, that much. As long as he pulls through, I don't see
any reason to get upset.
Fox: Sure, whatever. Say, where's Meta Knight? Don't tell me he's still locked in his room.
EXE: Alright. He isn't locked in his room.
Falco: Dammit. He's still in there, isn't he?
Sonic: Say what?
Bass: Long story short, something happened to Meta Knight, and now, he's trapped in his room.
Sonic: Well, someone already tried talking to him, right?
Marth: (Japanese.)
Bass: I'm not sure you count.
EXE: Since when could you understand Japanese?
Bass: Remember when we were connected, this morning? Then.

Fox: Connected? Oh, to exchange information, like through a LAN.
EXE: ....... Sure.
Marth: (More Japanese.)
Bass: It's because he doesn't know Japanese, dur.
Roy: (Even more Japanese.)
Bass: What? What're y- Ah.
EXE: Wow.
Sonic: Did I miss something?
Bass: You seriously don't want to know.
Sonic: Huh. Whatever. Say, you two are friends with him, right? Why don't you try to go talk some sense
into him?
Fox: Well... That doesn't sound too bad.
Falco: Yeah. Not tonight, though. I already have something to do that can't be ignored.
Fox: Right. And I have clean all my weapons. It's the only way to make sure they're working right.
Sonic: Whatever works. (scarfs down yet another chili dog.)
EXE: Okay, seriously, I can understand eating those for breakfast and lunch, but why at dinner? What, do
you run all the time?
Sonic: Nah. I just really like chili dogs. Duh.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ On the Snake plane ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: So, you got this, right?
Snake: Of course. I know where to go, from here.
Geno: Good. You keep going. Keep my body safe.
(Geno flashes out of his body, and leaves.)
Samus: What the hell? What's he doing?
Snake: Not a clue.

(Silence.)
BM: So, you're still sulking?
(Link turns a very ugly glare on Bomberman.)
BM: That would be a big yes.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, in Star Road ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: 
Serenade: 
Geno: <Nonsense. I told you I would take care of it, and I will. Or, more accurately, it's already taken
care of.>
Serenade: <Is that so? Then what, praytell, am I going to be living in?>
Geno: <Who. You're going to be staying in a person. Yoshi, to be exact.>
(Serenade stops. The shifting mother-of-pearl colors grind to a halt. Silence.)
Geno: <It's temporary. You're right, I bungled it. But, hey, can you blame me? It's not like I've been doing
absolutely nothing, since I invited you to the mansion.>
Serenade: <Yes, well... I suppose. But, what about Yoshi? Wouldn't he be harmed by me taking over his
body?>
Geno: <Not really. If anything, he'll benefit from your presence. Your non-violent, friendly, out-going
type of personality can only help. Besides, it'll only be for a few days. As soon as we get back, I'll get to
work on getting you a real body.>
Serenade: <Hm. I don't like this, much.>
Geno: <Yes. Neither do I, really. But, I kind of backed myself into a corner. Shall we go, then?>
Serenade: 
Geno: <The mansion, I think.>
(Geno and Serenade leave Star Road, slip into sub-space, and go to the mansion.)
Geno: <Well, here we are. Er, we should probably keep a low profile. I don't think the mortals would
respond well to a couple of floating points of light.>
Serenade. <Say, this place is nice. I was expecting it to look something like a dungeon.>
Geno: <That's because the dungeons are hidden.>
Serenade: ....... <Oh, that's a joke.>
Geno: <Right. Well, it looks like most everyone's gone to bed, or whatever. Come on. We'll stay in my
room until the others get back. It'll be a few hours, assuming they don't stop for the night. Come along.>
(Geno and Serenade float through the halls for a bit. However...)
Geno: <WAIT! Get back!>
Serenade: <What is it?>
Geno: <There's something else in the halls. I'm not sure what it is. Come on, we'll take another way.>
Serenade: <Shouldn't we investigate?>
Geno: .... <I don't think that would be a good idea. Whatever it is, it's very malevolent, and I don't feel
like dealing with it, right now.
(Geno and Serenade float down a different hall... Out from the shadows, a clawed, reptilian foot sets
down. A black, draconic eye glimmers in the darkness...)
(It's the dead of night, when Snake's ship finally touches down, outside the mansion. They all step out of
the plane.)
Samus: OhHhHhHhHh. Man, its good to be back. I can really streetch.
(Samus stretches... Oh, boy, does she stretch.)
Snake: (cough) Right, well. We're all glad to be back. Now, Game&Watch, correct me if I'm wrong, but
he can't hear psychic talk, can he? Not over long distances?
(Nod)
Snake: Excellent. That's all I needed to know.
Mewtwo: <Oh, lord. We're going to be busy, for a while, aren't we?>
Snake: +It's a necessary sacrifice, I'm afraid. Just think of it as doing your part to take down a competitor
for the most evil position.+
Ganondorf: Which reminds me, I'm going to have a long talk with Vaati, tomorrow.
BM: Exactly. Tomorrow. Good night, all.
(Nearby, Krystal, in her Arwing, lands. Krystal gets out, and walks toward the group.)
Link: Well, I'm going inside, now. See you in the morning.
Krystal: Link, wait! Please!
Gardevoir: <Stop, Krystal. You need to give him time. If you keep pressing him, right now, he won't have
an opportunity to think.>
Krystal: Didn't he have almost six hours to think?!
Gardevoir: <Krystal, please. Let him be, if only for another night.>
Samus: She's right. You can' t help yourself, at this moment.
(Krystal sobs once, and heads inside. The rest follow. Inside...)
Mewtwo: <Alright, I've opened a telepathic link between just us four. Just think what you want to say,
and everyone else will hear it.>
Snake: +Excellent. So, what now?+
Ganondorf: +I think our first concern is finding out the others who can use the giga-smash. It's not like
we can just pass them around.+
Samus: +Maybe... maybe we can.+
Ganondorf: +What, just pass them around? What the hell are you talking about?+
Samus: +I'm sorry, I'm a little too tired to think, right now. I'll take Yoshi, for now. I'll think of a way to
break the news to everyone, tomorrow.+
Mewtwo: <Hm. Everything's happening tomorrow... why does that concept seem familiar?>
Samus: +Who knows, and who cares?+ Oh, look, it's my room. I'm going to bed.
(Samus opens her door, and shuts it loudly behind her.)
Snake: Hm. I guess she really needs her beauty sleep. +Well, I guess there's nothing else we can do, right
now. I'll be heading off, then.+
(Snake turns down another corridor. Ganondorf and Mewtwo continue on their merry way.)
Ganondorf: Have I told you what I'm going to do to Vaati when I get my hands on him?
Mewtwo: <Just as long as you leave him intact for me. I'd like to have my own shot at that little punk.>
Ganondorf: First, I'm going to grab him by the head. Right on the forehead. Then, I'm going to squeeze
his temples with my fingers until his eyes roll back, and then-
Mewtwo: <Oh, look! It's my room. Bye-bye.>
(Mewtwo quickly gets into his room, and slams the door. Ganondorf is all alone...)
Ganondorf: Huh... Well, might as well get going.
(Ganondorf walks the halls of the mansion, until...)
Ganondorf: CHRIST ON A STICK!!!
(There, in front of him, stands a creature that can only be described as an evil-looking dragon.)
(Note: For those of you who don't know what Ridley looks like, here is a fair representation of him.)
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/13414238/?qo=19&q=ridley&qh=boost%3Apopular+age_sigma%
3A24h+age_scale%3A5
(Other note: Whenever Ridley speaks English, it's really sort of a raspy, airy voice.)
Ridley: hhhhhWho are you?
Ganondorf: ...... Who are you to ask?
Ridley: hhhI am the ravenous one. Never is my hunger sated, nor is my thirst ever slaked....
Ganondorf: ....... And?
(Ridley let's out a loud screech.)
Ridley: Tremble at my name! RIDLEY!!
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: Okay, then.
(Ganondorf walks right by Ridley.)
Ganondorf: +Way too damn creepy. I wonder if he's one of those specialized bosses, or an actual new-
comer... Well, I'll think about it, tomorrow. Hm, Mewtwo was right. That concept does seem overly
familiar.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~The next day, at breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
DK: {Did you hear something, last night?}
Diddy: {Of course! You'd have to be deaf or dead, to not hear it.}
DK: {Do you have any idea what might have made that sound?}
Diddy: {It must have been something HUGE!}

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Peach: Goodness, that was something. I can't believe anything could make that sound.
Zelda: Indeed. It completely disrupted... my sleep.
Peach: Oh, right. I was asleep, too. Until that darn scream, or howl, or whatever.
Luigi: Why the hell do I continue sitting here?
Peach: Because our sweet, sweet voices are soothing to your hangover.
Luigi: Nope. Must be something else.
Zelda: It's a shame Mewtwo isn't here. He would set you straight.
Luigi: Why do you think I went drinking? I knew he'd be gone another day.
Mewtwo: <LUIGI!!>
Luigi: WAAAH!
(Luigi falls over on the ground, curled into a fetal position.)
Luigi: When... will the hurting... stop?
Zelda: Mewtwo! You're back early! Wait, is that Ganondorf? And Bomberman? Has everyone returned?
Mewtwo: <That's right. Oh, and, you might want to be prepared for a little... surprise, or two. By the
way, do you know what made that awful noise, last night?>
Ganondorf: I know.
(Mewtwo whirls around to see Ganondorf, with a very serious look on his face.)
Mewtwo: <Oh, come on! We just got back! What now?>
Ganondorf: I'm not sure if it's serious, or not. Let's grab some grub, first.
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo head to the buffet line.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: So, when are you planning on telling everyone?
Samus: About... (leans in close) about Yoshi?
(Nod)
Samus: I'm not sure. I might go to Mario, let him know. We can just have him say that he picked him up,
or something.
Snake: Nah. That might lead to too many questions. I think we should tell at least some of the truth.
Geno was called away to the Star Road, he got the news, and we went to Mario's world, to get Yoshi.
Samus: Mm. Hang on, a moment. +Mewtwo, can you hear me?+
Mewtwo: <Yes, I can. Would you care to explain why you interrupted my eating?>
Samus: +I'm thinking and eating at the same time. I think you're capable of doing that. Do you by any
chance know what screamed, last night?+
Mewtwo: <Hang on, Ganondorf was about to tell me. I'll open up the channel to him, as well....
Ganondorf, would you care to reveal just what the hell made that ruckus?>
Ganondorf: Fine, fine. If it'll- Oh, telepathy. +Anyway, the thing I met was a big black dragon looking
thing. Very bony, though.+
Samus: +Wait, did it have a very long, whip-like tail?+
Ganondorf: +Now that you mention it, he did. Yeah, it's a guy. Anyway, he said his name is Ridley.+
(Samus suddenly stands up, knocking over her chair. Her eyes appear to have a blazing fire in them.)
Samus: RIDLEY!!
Mewtwo: <It seems you know him. A friend of your's?>
(Samus leaps over to Mewtwo, and grabs him by the tube behind his neck.)
Samus: WHERE IS HE!? YOU WILL TELL ME!
(Samus violently grabs one of Mewtwo's antennae.)
Samus: Tell me, or I break it off!
(Suddenly, Ganondorf delivers a lightning-quick jab into Samus' temple. She goes out like a light.)
Mewtwo: <That took a little long, don't you think?>
Ganondorf: Sorry. I had to swallow my bacon.
(Ganondorf looks around to see everyone looking at them. Most are whispering to each other.)
Ganondorf: (sigh) I suppose I would have to tell them... Everyone, listen up! I'm sure we all heard that
loud screech, last night. Well, I'm telling you, I was right in front the creature that made that sound! It is
a large dragon-like creature, black, with a whip of a tail, and talons like razors. It's name... is Ridley. And,
it seems that our Samus has a history with him. Do not worry. She'll wake up in a few minutes. She'll
have a headache, but other than that, she's fine. Oh, and I greatly advise against confronting Ridley. He
doesn't seem to be the type to beat around the bush. He will hurt you, badly.
(Ganondorf shoves a giant wad of bacon into his mouth, picks up Samus, and walks out. Snake and
Mewtwo follow.)
EXE: Well..... That was... Yeah.
(Just then, Krystal enters. She quietly takes a seat next to Sonic.)
(Silence.)
Sonic: Um... you're Krystal?
Krystal: Hm? Oh, you must be one of the new-comers.
Sonic: Rrright. Name's Sonic... Aren't you supposed to be... more energetic?
Fox: Forget that. Didn't you take Link to Argos for some brain thing? Did it work?
Krystal: Oh, um... yes. Yes, he's fine.
Falco: Speaking of, there he is, right now.
(Krystal perks up, and looks at Link, who just entered. Link comes near, sees Krystal, and very quickly
turns his back. He heads right for the buffet line.)
(Silence.)
EXE: What the hell? Someone isn't telling the entire truth.
Bass: Someone isn't telling anything, at all.
Sonic: Hang on, you guys. Krystal... you did something to Link, didn't you?
(Nod.)
Sonic: He got mad, because of it?
(Tears start welling up.)
Sonic: And now, you're very deeply hurt by his anger. Is that it?
(Krystal looks into Sonic's eyes (eye?), and falls against his chest, weeping softly.)
Sonic: It's okay. I know, it hurts. Come on. Let's get you somewhere where you can let it all out.
(Sonic and Krystal walk out of the cafeteria. Every eye is following them. After they leave, Link starts
looking sorry, himself.)
Fox: ...... Well.... That's new.
Falco: I've known that crazy women for years. I don't think I've seen her cry. Not once.
EXE: Whatever happened, it hit her pretty hard. What went on between those two?
Bass: Should I... "question" Link?
EXE: I heard that. Don't do it. Something tells me this is something that should involve less people. Sonic
should be able to handle it.
Marth: (Japanese)
EXE: Yeah. He's cool, like that. Really laid back, and all that.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere in the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ridley: hhh-I will nh-not be restrained.
TD: Nice try, but this is the way it's going to be. You can't just go around, screaming willy-nilly. If my plan
is to go off without a hitch, you have to control yourself. Besides, if you decide to be difficult, you can
say good-bye to my end of the bargain.
Ridley: hhh-I will no-

TD: Yes, yes, yes, I get it. You're upset by the fact that I'm stronger than you, and I'm pretty much
clipping your wings, so to speak. Deal with it. Deal, or I'll have to make you deal.
(Ridley pulls back one terrible clawed hand, and swipes at The Deity. However, the claw bounces
harmlessly off of a shield of light.)
TD: (sigh) Must they always be so difficult? Why can't my allies have brains? Like you, Meta Knight.
MK: Tuh. I'm not your ally. I'm simply working with you until you fulfill your promise.
TD: Yes, yes. All in due time. As for you, Ridley...
(The Deity gives a huge upper-cup right to the chin. Ridley goes down.)
MK: Wow. You know, considering how thin his neck is, I'm surprised it didn't snap.
TD: Heh. If he were that easy to kill, do you think I would have brought him in? He'll be very useful,
later... For that day.
(We join Krystal and Sonic in Krystal's room.)

Sonic: Alright, Krystal. It's okay. Just let it all out.
(Weepy weep, weep weep. Eventually, Krystal slows down, and looks Sonic in the eye.)
Krystal: Thank you. I... I feel better.
Sonic: That's it. Now, do you want to tell me what happened?
Krystal: (sniff) Well, it's a bit complicated. Do you mind... if I skip over a few parts?
Sonic: It's your story.
(Krystal tells Sonic an abridged version of what happened.)
Sonic: Hm. And Samus told you to give him time to settle down?
Krystal: That's right. She thinks that, eventually, he'll come to me, and apologize.
Sonic: Well, that's the problem. She's thinking from a woman's perspective. I'm seeing things from Link's
side, as well. I caught a glimpse of him, right before we left. I think he's feeling sorry for hurting you.
(Krystal looks at Sonic with big, hopeful eyes.)
Sonic: Yeah, I know. Trust me, Krystal. It's like a wound. Don't give it time to fester. Go after him, now.
Krystal: (sniff) Thank you, Sonic. You're a real friend, you know? How could I... repay you?
Sonic: And, that's where you can stop. (sigh) Normally... maybe. However, I have someone, back home...
and I just realized that I've been treating her horribly. Ignoring her at almost every turn. I was awful...
But, not no more! You go to your man, and I must go to my woman.
Krystal: Yes, of course. But, what do I say?
Sonic: Tell him everything. Tell him how much you truly love him, and what it felt like, to be loved. After
that... it's up to him.
Krystal: Thank you. Thank you, so much. I'll go do that, right now!
Sonic: Of course. But, first, you really do look awful. You go wash up. I have my own affairs to deal with.
(Krystal walks into an adjoining bathroom, and Sonic walks out. He's walking through the halls, until...)
?: <You. Can you tell me where I can get something to eat?>
Sonic: Eh? I think the cafeteria's closed, but... who are you?
Lucario: <Ah, of course. I am Lucario. A Pokemon new-comer.>

Sonic: Another psychic?
Lucario: <Not really. I have had limited training from a mage. That allowed me some psychic abilities, but
not as great as a true psychic Pokemon. For instance, my telepathy is only one-way. I'm really a
steel/fighting type.>
Sonic: Oh... ‘K. Well, welcome. I'm pretty new here, myself.
Lucario: <Yes. You must be Sonic. Now, I believe you were about to tell me where I might get something
to eat.>
Sonic: Well, there are vending machines at a few spots, around here. I'm not sure where one is, exactly,
but if you keep wandering, you'll find one, eventually.
Lucario: <Excellent. Thank you.>
(And they go their separate ways.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus is with Snake in his plane. Samus is still coddling baby Yoshi.)
Samus: (sigh) I just don't know how to break it to them. The fact that he's here, among us, now... after
what he did...
Snake: Hang on, dear. Technically, it wasn't THAT Yoshi that went berserk. This one is very innocent. It
would be wrong of us to pin the actions of the old Yoshi on the new one.
Samus: Mm. You're right. I'm sorry, little Yoshi.
(Samus tickles Yoshi's belly. Yoshi makes with the adorable bit.)
Samus: Besides, how could anyone be mad at anything so cute?
Snake: Oh, gag. ..... Say, we could use that as an advantage.
Samus: How's that? Oh, I see... when we show Yoshi to everyone, hopefully, all the ladies will fawn over
him so much, the rest won't have a problem!
Snake: It's so devilishly clever, it has to work.
Samus: It has to! Ooh, wait, no... Where? When?
(Silence.)
Samus: ..... I think... it's time for another conference, wouldn't you say?
Snake: You mean... just tell them you have an important announcement, gather everyone, and then
bring him out?
Samus: That's pretty much how it works. I can get Mario to make the announcement for everyone to
gather, and then I spring this little surprise on them.
Snake: Sounds like a plan. You go to Mario. I'll hold on to Yoshi.
(Samus exits the ship. Snake just sits there, holding Yoshi at arm's length. They stare at each other....)
Snake: ....... I will never blink.
TD: It's an interesting development, wouldn't you say?
MK: It is, indeed, unusual. I can't wait until I hear their explanation.
Ridley: Mmmm. hhhWhat a tasty-looking mhhmorsel. I just rrremembered that it's been a while since I
last... feasted on anything.
TD: Oh, for the love of little green apples. (gesture) There. There's some wild deer in the Endless Field.
Eat to your heart's content.
(Ridley screeches once, and leaves.)
TD: Honestly, he'd better keep it together. I'm good, but I can't resurrect something that's been
digested. And, frankly, I like those small Pokemon. I think I'll put them in cages. They'll be adorable... or
else.
MK: Uh...huh. So, I assume you have no problem with Yoshi?
TD: Not at all. Quite the opposite... You know, I bet I could speed up his growth, and turn him berserk,
just like- (snap of the fingers) -that.
MK: Hmph. Do as you wish. Just make sure-

TD: Yes, of course, Meta Knight. I promise you, I will bring back your wife. It's just... I want to make sure
you hold up your end of the bargain.
MK: What's there to hold up? I stand by your side, and that's it.
TD: Well, I've been thinking about that. Our deal, I mean. You know, resurrecting your wife, from
nothing more than memories, is not an easy job. I think it would only be fair if you did some - let's call
them odd jobs - for me, in return.
MK: What kind of odd jobs?
TD: Oh, I don't know. We'll just have to wait, until I need you to do one. Fair enough?
MK: Hmph. Whatever. I'm going to get ready for this "meeting." Let's see if they can come up with a
convincing story, on short notice.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: I see... an announcement?
Samus: A very important one. Well, not THAT important, but I think everyone should be together, for it.
Mario: Hmm. Alright. But, only if-a you tell me, first.
Samus: .... Fine..... I'll be right back.
(Samus rushes to Snake's ship, where the two of them are still staring at each other, grabs Yoshi, and
runs back to Mario's office.)
Samus: Okay... Did you know that, if someone wishes hard enough, that wish can reach Star Road?
Mario: Mmm?
Samus: Well, it turns out that one of our brawlers wished so hard... that Yoshi has been reincarnated.
(Samus pulls Yoshi out from behind her back. Mario jumps up, and comes over to Samus. A look of
wonderment in his eyes.)
Mario: Yoshi! Is it... is it-a really him?
Samus: Well, it's not like he remembers his past life, but, yeah, it's him. In a couple years, I bet he's
going to be Egg-rolling around, just like before. Watch what he does when you tickle him.
(Samus tickles Yoshi's belly, and Yoshi, again, makes with the adorable bit. Mario's eyes start clouding
up.)
Mario: ..... Yoshi!
(Mario swipes Yoshi out of Samus' arms, and hugs him close.)
Yoshi: Yoshi? Mmm.... (hugs back)
Mario: (sniff) Okie-dokie. You take him... I'll call everyone together, after lunch, about one o'clock.
Samus: Thank you, Mario.
Mario: No... Thank you.
Samus: Oh, well, technically, you should be thanking Geno, for telling us about him in the first place, and
Donkey Kong, for making the wish.
Mario: (sniff) Of course.
(Samus heads back to Snake's ship. In there, she finds Mewtwo and Ganondorf.)
Samus: Erm, any particular reason for why you're here?
Snake: +It's because of The Deity, of course. We thought it might be a good idea to start thinking about
how we can locate the other Giga-Smash users.+
Mewtwo: <If I recall, you were about to have an idea, last night.>
Samus: +Right, right... Well, we all know that he's not truly omnipotent. Well, if we surprise everyone
with the Giga-Smash coins... Tell them they're specialized Smash coins. Hand out all five, and, hopefully,
we'll find the other two, before The Deity has a chance to react.+
Ganondorf: +It gets better, I think. I doubt that The Deity even thinks that anything could possibly take
him down. Even if he got wind of these things, I bet it's going to take some time before he figures out
that the's in trouble.+
Snake: +That's right! Then, after we find our other Giga-Smashers, we pretty much force him to make his
move. We'll have him on the defensive.+
Samus: +Hang on, how does this put The Deity on the defensive? Technically, he can always stay in
hiding, and continue pulling the strings, behind the scenes.+
Snake: +That's just it, don't you see? If The Deity wants to have his ultimate power, and all that, he
MUST go through us.+
Mewtwo: <Hang on... Why don't you just attack him one at a time? Use the Giga-Smash, beat the holy
hell out of him, and when one wears off, go right to the next. Between you two, and Link, we'll have
plenty of time to find the other two Giga-Smashers.>
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: +Is it just me, or is this a perfect plan? I don't see any way we can lose.+
Samus: +Indeed... Although, now that you said that, something will probably happen to ruin everything.
Sorry, that's just how it works. Well, whatever. Come on, it's about time for lunch. Mario is going to have
us gather in the conference room at one, by the way. That's when I'm going to bring out baby Yoshi.+
(Samus merciless coddles Yoshi.)
Ganondorf: ...... Mewtwo, could you give me a bit of mental agony? I need something less painful than
watching this.
(It's a little before lunch, and Krystal is standing outside Link's room.)
Krystal: +Okay, girl. You can do this. You've faced the toughest of opponents, on more than one
occasion. Surely, this won't be a deal. Right... here I go... right now...+
(Krystal takes a deep breath, and knocks.)
Link: Who'zit?
Krystal: ..... Link, I only want to talk. I know that I have wronged you, and I probably don't deserve your
forgiveness, but I only want to tell you my side of the story.
...... (silence.)
Krystal: I see.... I guess.... that's it.
(Just as Krystal turns to leave, the door opens.)
Link: Sorry. I had to find a clean hat.
(After a very tense moment, Krystal enters Link's room.)
Krystal: Okay, Link. I'll just say what I want to say, and... after that, I accept however you feel about me.
Link: I don't want to hear about it.
Krystal: Link! Dammit, I only want to tell you-

Link: That you love me, and you apologize profusely for doing... what you did. Is that about right?
Krystal: I- er, that is... (ears droop) yes.
Link: (deep breath) You abducted me, even though you knew my memory was worsening. When I was so
far gone, that I didn't remember anything more than a half-hour ago, you took me away from the life I
knew, and turned me into someone completely different.
(Link stares right at Krystal. Her ears droop further, and she looks down at the floor.)
Link: You turned me into... well, I suppose you could say I was a pet. A child. Just some little thing to take
pity on. You had the opportunity to do great good, by taking me to Argos, and I probably would have
recovered, no harm done. Instead, you didn't. You wanted to fulfill your own desires.
Krystal: But, Link, I-

Link: No. I don't need to hear it. ... I eventually learned everything. I won't say from whom I learned it,
but... I think I know all there needs to be known.
Krystal: Link... I'm so sorry.
Link: ... You loved me... You took care of me as if I were your own child, and you loved me as though I
am the only other person in your life. Why? That's what I never found out... Why did you love me so
much?
Krystal: It's because (sob) Because... you are the only other person! I could feel it. Every time you said
you loved me, I just felt so... so right! I have never known true love, but your's was the truest love I have
ever felt. That's why I loved you. I was returning what you felt for me.
(Much silence.)
Link: Of course... I... had forgotten about that part... I did love you, didn't I? Heh. It makes sense, all of a
sudden. That's why I felt so awful when you left, weeping.
Krystal: So... you forgive me?
Link: More than that.
(Krystal and Link embrace... and kiss.)
Krystal: You realize this is one relationship that's just a little too creepy for the others to handle, right?
Link: Eh. Screw ‘em.
Krystal: Wait... What about your lovers in Hyrule?
Link: Again, screw ‘em. Now, since I called you mama.... it's time for you to call me "daddy."
Krystal: Eh? ... OH!
(It's another happy ending... Creepy, but happy.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Fox: Did you feel that?
Falco: What's that?
Fox: A disturbance in the Force. As if a million voices just cried out "What the hell!?"
EXE: It's a glitch in the Matrix.
Fox: What's the Matrix?
EXE: What's the Force?
Sonic: What's with the people around here? You're all just too dang weird.
MK: Hmph. That's what they all say, at first.
Fox: Meta Knight! Holy crap, where were you?

MK: I apologize for my absence. You see... Do you remember, a long time ago, in Mute City, that I was
over the death of my wife?
Falco: Hm. I see. We understand, right, guys?
Marth: (Japanese)
EXE: Well, it's just great to have you back. You sure you alright?
MK: For now. Of course... something else might happen, in the future. Just wanted to warn you.
Roy: (confused Japanese)
EXE: He means it's possible for him to break down, in the future.
Sonic: Um.... What?
MK: Ah, you must be Sonic. It isn't anything to be concerned about. I... I haven't properly mourned the
death of my wife. All my sorrow was triggered, and I'm afraid I went fairly catatonic. I didn't come out of
it until just this morning.
Sonic: Ah, right, sorry. Didn't know.
MK: Not at all. I'm over it, now. However... I fear my fighting skills may have been dulled, from my
inaction.
Falco: To the training room!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: +So, when are we going to spring our little trap?+
Gardevoir: <Perhaps it would be wise to wait for all the new-comers to get here. After all, it's possible
that, even though we are only short by three, one of those three could be a Giga-Smasher.>
Ganondorf: +Gardevoir is right. It would be dangerous to try this when all of the brawlers aren't even
here. I imagine we'll see our final new-comer within the next couple days, or so.+
Snake: +Not only that, but we have to have everyone together, all at once.+
Samus: +Exactly. It may seem like a plan that can't lose, but there's always that one thing that we don't
take into consideration. It would be best for us to keep risks to an absolute minimum. It's like when
Ganondorf said that there's no way we can lose. It's Murphy's Law.+
Mewtwo: <Who the hell is Murphy?>
Ganondorf: +Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. In short, it means that any small, insignificant
detail we miss could turn into our greatest threat.+
Samus: +Pretty much. Except, in this case, Murphy's Law was triggered by Ganondorf being dumb.+
Ganondorf:+Watch your tongue. It would be a simple matter to get rid of... oh, wait, that's right. You
don't have anything precious to you, don't you?+
Snake: +That's enough, the both of you.+
Mewtwo: <Agreed. So unless there are any other pressing matters, I will cut off the connection.>
(Without hesitating, Mewtwo cuts off the connection. A few minutes later, the PA clicks on.)
Mario: Hello! I would like everyone to gather in-a the conference room, at one o'clock, for a very
important announcement.
(The PA clicks off. Instantly, everyone starts talking.)
Luigi: Is he going to bring in another-a new-comer? I kind of hope he doesn't.
Wario: Heh. Well, I bet he does!
Luigi: What are you betting? You're already buying for the rest of-a the week.
Wario: Yeah, well... Double or nothing!
Peach: Wario, do you have a gambling problem?
Wario: Say what? Nah, I have it all figured out.
Zelda: She means you have an addiction.
Luigi: The ladies have a point. You're-a betting way too much for it to be healthy.
Wario: What are you all talking about? I don't have an addiction to gambling. It's a safe bet!
All: .........
Peach: Besides, aren't you a treasure-hunter? What happened to all the treasure?
Wario: ..... Well, I had to pay off a debt to... a friend.
Luigi: You had to pay off a loan-a shark, who gave you money, so you could gamble.
Wario: Dammit, I'm not addicted! I'll prove it to you! I bet you all that I can go a whole day- no, a whole
week without betting!
All: ........
Zelda: You just made a bet that you won't bet. Tell me, do you listen to yourself?
Wario: ..... Oh, god... I've lost... so much.
Luigi: It's-a okay. At-a least you admitted it. Now, we can help you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Finally, 1:00 rolls around ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone, minus Ridley, for obvious reasons, has gathered in the conference room.)
Diddy: {Hey, DK, where's that big Ridley fellow?}
DK: {He's probably too busy being a "bad-ass" to be around any of us. Besides, I hear he's really scary.
Like, make all the children cower, kind of scary.}
Diddy: {Whatever. You can take him, right, DK?}
DK: {I have no idea. Then again, if Vaati got beaten, who knows? Oh, shush. Mario's here.}
Mario: It's-a good to see you all here. Now... I would like to hand it over to Samus.
(General whispering. Samus gets up in front of them, and Snake heads out into the hall.)
Samus: Thank you, Mario. I've spent the better part of this morning, and last night, thinking of a way to
break the news to you, and still have some of you... well, let's just say it took a lot of thought. So, I finally
decided to say it like this.
(Pause. Deep breath.)
Samus: As I'm sure most of you know, a few of us were gone for a couple days. We had intended for
longer, but... this came up. You see, Geno was called away from his vacation to Star Road, for an unusual
wish. It turns out that, if someone wishes hard enough, that wish can travel very far. And, because that
person wished so hard the wish simply HAD to be granted.
(Pause. Everyone looks vaguely confused.)
Samus: And, so, we had to cut our little trip short, because we had to travel to Mushroom Kingdom.
Donkey Kong, it seems that your wish has come true. (deep breath) Snake?
(Snake walks in, holding baby Yoshi, and hands him over to Samus. Everyone in the room exhibits
general shock and outrage. However, there are a couple voices that ring out louder than the others.)
Peach/Zelda/Krystal: SO CUTE!
(Peach, Zelda and Krystal rush up to Samus, and start to mercilessly dote upon baby Yoshi. Everyone else
just stare in absolute bafflement.)
Fox: What was that word, Falco?

Falco: Not in front of the children, Fox.
Snake: (cough) I think I should point out that this Yoshi is most certainly not the same Yoshi that... he's
not the same Yoshi. This Yoshi is just a new-born, and he needs care from all of us, if he is to grow up
right. Besides, it would be wrong of us to blame that (gestures at baby Yoshi, who is being tickled by
Krystal's tail) for past crimes.
Samus: Hey, you stole my line!
Snake: What? It's a good line. So, what do you say? Shall we accept Yoshi? He can't be a brawler, now.
But, in the future, he will fight alongside us, for sure.
(Silence... except for the sounds of the ladies completely losing it over Yoshi.)
Pit: (cough) Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I certainly can't get mad. I mean, if I tried,
those women would rip me limb from limb.
Peach: And don't you forget it!
(And so, baby Yoshi is accepted by the brawlers, and it was decided that he should live with Donkey and
Diddy Kong.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, in the 2D world ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: Well, it's good to see Yoshi being taken in by everyone.
G&W: Indeed. I've noticed that they are fairly easy-going, as a whole. I'm not sure why.
Geno: You know, I've noticed that, myself.
G&W: There's just one thing that puzzles me, though.
Geno: What's that?
G&W: Well... When you left us, after we retrieved Yoshi... Why?
Geno: Why did I leave you? ...... I made a promise that had to be kept. Don't worry. It's not like it's going
to have a huge impact on you.
G&W: Hm. I suppose there's no chance of you telling me more, right?
Geno: Precisely. <Er, say, I never really found this out. Can The Deity hear us speaking normally, in the
2D realm?>
G&W: <You know, I'm not sure. I think we should keep up the psychic talk, just to be safe.>
Geno: <Hm. That would be for the best.> Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to keep my promise.
G&W: Right. Nice talkin' to ya. Oh, Geno?
Geno: Yeah?
G&W: If you ever try to pull a stunt like that, again, I will eviscerate you. I know you're body is just a doll,
but I will make sure you feel pain.
(Geno just walks through the portal, back to the 3D world.)
Geno: <Serenade, can you hear me?>
Serenade: <Of course. What is it?>
Geno: 
Serenade: <A body? For me? Really? I mean, yes. I am in your room, right now.>
Geno: <Excellent. I'll be there in a moment.>
(Geno heads off to his room.)
Geno: +Oh, man, she's going to love this thing I created for her. Either she'll love it, or she'll set me on
fire.+
We join The Deity and Mario, somewhere in the mansion.)
TD: I admit, I think I believe Samus's story about Yoshi.
Mario: Hmph. Like it-a matters.
TD: Oh, father, why do you hate me, so?
Mario: Well, let's-a review: As soon as I leave, you will have total dominion over this planet. You're-a
going to either destroy the brawlers, or turn them into slaves, for no reason at all. Not only that, but you
beat me for-a the slightest thing.
TD: Oh, father, you know that last part's not true... Okay, yeah, it's true.
(The Deity knees Mario in the gut. Mario goes down. With his right hand, he instantly heals Mario. Mario
slowly gets back to his feet.)
TD: .... You know, there's something that's been bothering me, for some time. Father... Why did you
create me to look like this?
Mario: Like what?

TD: You know, like this? What were you thinking when you gave me this form?
http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/MM35_gallery/MM35_PG196.jpg
Mario: You really want to know? It's-a simple. I wasn't. I just chose your powers, and thought the image
would just come naturally.
TD: I see... Well, I rather like this form. It fits my personality. Thank you.
(The Deity knees Mario in the gut, again.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Bowser is in his dungeon with Bowser Jr. and Peach. Bowser Jr. is showing off his latest masterpieces.)
Bowser Jr.: Well? What do you think of this one? I call it "Mario gets the crap kicked out of him!"
Bowser: HAW haw haw! Junior, this is great! But, who's this guy?
Junior: Dunno. I just saw him in a dream, and I thought it would be funny if he beat up Mario. Anyone
beating up Mario is funny!
Peach: Sweetie, don't you think some of these are a little... violent?
Bowser: Nonsense! He's a chip off the old block! It's natural for a koopa to be aggressive. Honey, there's
nothing to worry about.
Junior: Yeah, mama. Besides, he's strong. He can take a good beating.
Peach: Perhaps... you say you saw this awful thing in a dream?
Junior: Uh-huh. Ya wanna hear about it?
Peach: Sure.
Junior: Okay. So, I'm going through the halls of the mansion, and I find a door in the middle of the hall. I
open it up, and I can see some weird tunnel of lights n' stuff. When I stepped through, I saw this guy,
and he was talking about "the true brawl" or something like that. I thought he was a weirdo, but then,
he said that he would be the ultimate victor, when Brawl starts. That's when I woke up.
(Silence.)
Junior: Weird, huh?
Peach: Mm. Bowser?
Bowser: Yeah... You, or me?

Peach: I'll do it.
Junior: Huh? What are you two talking about?
Peach: It's nothing, dear. Ooh, what's this one?
Junior: Oh, that's one that I made for Mario's farewell party. Do you like it?
Bowser: But... he looks all heroic!
Junior: I know. It hurt me to paint that.
Peach: Well, I for one think it's very nice. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time for my yoga.
Bowser: Why? It's just stretching.
Peach: I know. But, it's stretching that you like.
Bowser: ..... Go to it, honey.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: +I'm glad you came to us. But... how did you know?+
Peach: +Oh, please, dear. I'm not just some blonde, you know. Besides, how do you think I became
princess? It wasn't because of blood, I can tell you that. I could tell that you all are involved in something
heavy. Anyway, do you think it could mean something?+
Geno: +Hang on, a moment.+ <Game&Watch, do you actually know what The Deity looks like?>
G&W: <I'm surprised you didn't ask, earlier. But, I don't know what he looks like. Although, the way
Peach described him, it does sort of fit, doesn't it? A faceless evil has, well, no face.>
Geno: +He didn't know. I guess that, for now, this is the image we'll use.+
Samus: +Right. Now, from what Bowser Junior said, what conclusions can we draw? Certainly, there's
something else, other than just taking over this world+
Peach: +Hang on, I'm not sure if I got the whole story.+
Ganondorf: +Don't worry. I'll fill her in.+
(Ganondorf tells Peach the short version of the situation.)
Peach: ..... +Balls.+

Mewtwo: <Balls, indeed. Well, now we know when he's going to make his move. This is actually very
helpful for us. If the part about him striking on the day of Brawl is true... that gives us ten days, to do
something.>
Snake: +Plenty of time. We can make our move pretty much any time we want. All we have to do is call
everyone together, pretend it's one of our meetings, and then hand out the Giga-Smash coins. Simple
enough, I think.+
Ganondorf: +Perhaps. However, I think it would be best to be cautious. Let's take some more time, with
this. After all, we only get one shot at this.+
Samus: +True. Alright, everyone. I think that's enough, for now. Peach, thank you for bringing this to us.
But, if I may ask, why did you?+
Peach: +You are, technically, the leader now, right? Anything that obviously prophetic had to be
reported.+
(And so, they all went their separate ways. Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the halls, until...)
Vaati: Hey.
Ganondorf: Oh, joy, it's the Purple Pe-.

Mewtwo: <Go away, Vaati. Now is not the time.>
Ganondorf: Wrong. Now is a very good time. I assume you want me to whup your ass?
Vaati: Hardly. I have some information for you.
Mewtwo: <What kind of information, and why should we care?>
Vaati: +It's the kind that is normally kept secret.+
Ganondorf: What's with the silent treatment?
Mewtwo: <He isn't being silent. He's thinking his answer. He said it's the kind that we would like to keep
secret.>
Ganondorf: Interesting. However, you're going to have to be a bit more specific, if we're going to be
listening.
Vaati: I'll tell you what. Let's you and me fight. Have that battle that I'm sure you've been so looking
forward to. And, to make it interesting, we'll each put something on the line. If I win, I get your tower. If
you win, I'll tell you what I know.
Ganondorf: No deal.
Mewtwo: <Wait, Ganondorf. This might actually be something we want to know. Tell me, Vaati... does
your information have something to do with... a very powerful being? Perhaps it involves a diabolical
plan?>
Vaati: That sounds about right. So, will you fight me, Ganondorf?
Ganondorf: ..... Fine. I'll explain the rules, on the way.
(They head towards the training rooms.)
Vaati: Rules? Don't tell me your trying to wuss things up?
Ganondorf: Hardly. I just want to make sure you don't cheat. It's simple. No god-moding, no crowding,
no move-spamming, and never, ever hit below the belt. If any of these rules are broken, Mewtwo will
give you mental agony, and that goes for the both of us.
Vaati: Tuh. You know you just took all the fun out of it.
Ganondorf: Perhaps. Then again, I don't care.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ One very, very painful battle later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Vaati: (Insert copious swearing here.)
Ganondorf: YYYEEEAEAEAAAAHHH!!! IN YOUR *&^%ING FACE, *&^%-WAD!!!
Mewtwo: <Vaati, you have lost, fair and square. Now, what did you have to tell us?>
Vaati: NO! I refuse! Dammit, he cheated, and I know it! He's not following his own rules!
Mewtwo: <Nice try, but I think you'll recall spamming your dark energy bolts, and I didn't give you
mental agony. I was nice to you, and you still lost.>
Vaati: (A little more swearing.) Fine! Alright, here's what I know. +This guy... he's gathering minions. I
know this, because he tried to enlist me.+
Ganondorf: +What? He's.... Oh, lord, that's Murphy's Law, he's gathering OTHERS!+
(Ganondorf walks away a little, swearing.)
Mewtwo: 
Vaati: +I can feel it. You're involved in something big. I just figured my experience and whatever it is
you're tangled up in are connecting.+
(Ganondorf returns.)
Ganondorf: +So, now what? This seems important. Should we tell Samus?+
Vaati: +Samus? Hm, of course. It figures that she would be in charge.+
Mewtwo: <I think we should go to Samus right away.... Vaati, will you join us?+
Vaati: +Not a chance. I only decided to tell you because... Well, that doesn't matter. I'm not going with
you.+
Ganondorf: (cough) If you talk with Mario... he can get you your own tower. One that fits your desires.
(Vaati and Ganondorf just stare at each other for a bit, then Vaati poofs out of there.)
Ganondorf: Let's go.
Mewtwo: <Was that a moment of non-hatred? Were you just nice to him?>
Ganondorf: If you don't shut up and start moving, I'll show you how much non-hatred I have, and I'll be
nice, while I'm pounding your head into the floor.
(We join Donkey and Diddy Kong, in Donkey's jungle-room, with baby Yoshi. It's about 4 o'clock, 9 days
before Brawl.)
Diddy: {So, how long is it going to take him to mature?}
DK: {Dunno. But, I think he's going to be ready to fight again in just a couple years. Until then, we all
have to take care of him.}
Diddy: {Yeah... Say, what did he do, that he had to be reborn?}
DK: {Uh? Erh, that doesn't really matter, does it? Clean slate, and all that?}
(Silence. Suddenly, Yoshi starts making a fuss.)
DK: {Ah, must be feeding time. I'll go get his juice.}
(DK lumbers out of the room, leaving Yoshi with Diddy.)
Diddy: {He just... left me, with you. I'd really like to know what it is you did, though. Too bad you can't
talk, yet.}
Yoshi: ....... Goo!
Diddy: {Baby-talk. Just great.} (sigh) {You know, you're not going to grow up right with just juice. You're
going to need something to make your muscles strong. How about this: When you get all your teeth, I'll
give you a nice burger. I'm sure you'd love that.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the 2D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: Did you just feel something?
G&W: Ya damn right, I felt that.
Geno: I swear, the next time I hear anyone say "what else could go wrong," I'm going to slap them.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Wario, Luigi and Peach are all together, in Luigi's room.)
Wario: So, how the hell am I supposed to stop gambling? I mean.... I WAS ABOUT TO WIN! You
remember, right? That probability thing? I'm going to be right, and then, I'm going to win it BIG!
Peach: Is that so? Hm... Luigi, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Luigi: I think so, princess, but how do we get-a the raccoon to stay put long enough?
Peach: What? No, no! I'm thinking... about making one last bet. What do you say, Wario? All or nothing.
Walk away with all the riches you could have ever wanted, or... nothing.
Wario: Is that so? Hmm..... What's the bet?
Peach: It's simple. You make as many bets as you want, for the entire day, tomorrow, and if you win any
one of them, I'll give you anything.
Wario: ...... Anything?
Peach: ....... Even that.
Wario: Wow.... Then again, I don't think I'd want that, after he had it.
Peach: WHAT!?
Luigi: Eh? Did I miss-a something?
Peach: (cough) No. N-No, Luigi. Not a thing.
Luigi: ..... Don't ever play me for a fool, princess. Hey, Wario, I'll bet that you know what's-a got her so
worked up. If you know, I'm-a buying for a week!
Wario: DEAL! She's-
(Peach pulls her tennis racket from out of nowhere, and cracks Wario over the head, making his eyes
glaze over. Wario stands up, and walks out like he's sleep-walking.)
Luigi: ..... I'm-a going to find out. Mark my words, princess. I will learn your secret.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mewtwo: <What the hell?>
Gardevoir: 
Mewtwo: <It was so many negative emotions, rolled into one. It's gone now, though. I can't tell where it
came from.>
Gardevoir: <Well... Shall we continue? Where were we?>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ It's mental training, sickos. Anyway, at the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Young Link, Link and Pit are all practicing their archery.)
Pit: So, your memory's back to normal?
Link: That's right. It turns out, I just needed a little divine intervention, in the end.
Y. Link: Divine intervention? What're you talking about?
Link: My Triforce, of course. It was probably for the best, though. I mean, I could have gone through all
that medical stuff, but it probably wouldn't have worked nearly as well. And, there's that other thing...
(Link draws his bow, and aims at a moving target.)
Y. Link: What other thing? Wait, does this have anything to do with Miss Krystal?
(Link's eyes go very wide, and, with a yelp, let's go of the string. The arrow completely misses his target.)
Link: NOnonono! This has nothing to do with Krystal! I was talking about... my fever! Yeah, I had fever
something awful, and that was cured in a snap.
Pit: Uh... huh. Whatever.
Link: Look, can we just drop it? I'm back, and that's all that matters, okay?
Pit: Sure, sure. Hey, Lil' Link, could you not use the fire? It's bad for the targets, you know?
Y. Link: Call me Lil' Link again, and I'll use you as a target.
Link: Heh! He's becoming just like me!
Pit: That isn't a good thing, you know.
(Kirby is wandering the halls, pondering Meta-Knight's recent episode, when suddenly...)
?: KIRBY! I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!
(Kirby spins around, and faces...)
Kirby: PUYO! {DEDEDE!}
Dedede: That's right! I'm one of you! Now, I'm going to get you for all those times you got me!
Kirby: Puyo, puyo. Puyo puyo puyo.{Not now, tubby. I have bigger things to worry about.}
Dedede: Say WHAT!? Oh, that's it! You, me, right now!
(Dedede pulls out a giant hammer, and charges at Kirby. Kirby stands still.... then suddenly turns into a
rock, at the last second. Dedede's hammer bounces off of rock-Kirby, and smacks him in the face.
Dedede is knocked out. Kirby turns back to normal.)
Kirby: Puyo.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(The Deity is having another meeting with Ridley and Meta-Knight.)
Ridley: hhI seriously hhope you have a good rhreason for taking me away from me hunting.
TD: Yes, yes, yes, I know. Because, you're little appetite is sooo important. Do you hear yourself talk? I
oughta-
MK: Then why are we here?
TD: Uh-hwha? Oh, right. I can't shake this feeling that there's something very wrong. Like.... You know
that feeling you get when you think there's a possibility of doom?
MK: Can't really say I've ever felt that.
TD: Whatever. Listen, I want you two to pay extra attention to what's going on. I really think there's
something strange going on here. Ridley, that means you should be inside the mansion, more often. You
never know what you might hear. Meta-Knight, be more involved. You're a little too reclusive, as it is.
MK: Whatever. When you are going to-

TD: Soon! Yeesh. You know, for someone so withdrawn, you're awfully impatient. When Brawl starts, I
promise to deliver, but not a second before. Until then, you're just going to have to sit on your hands,
got it?
MK: Hmph. I certainly hope you do, for your sake.
(Meta-Knight exits.)
Ridley: hyYou said you would give mhme what I want.

TD: Oh, not you, too! Get out of here!
(The Deity waves a hand, and Ridley is instantly teleported out of the room.)
TD: Good lord! Why can't they get it through their heads that I'm trustworthy? Well, maybe it has
something to do with me being the bad-guy. Oh, well.
(The Deity's eyes glow for a moment, then he shuts them.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Luigi: Hmph. Why does-a the princess insist on treating me like a moron? It's-a because of Mario. It's-a
always him that saves the day. It's-a always him that takes charge. Mario, Mario, Mario!
(Note: Cookie to anyone who knows where that last bit came from.)
?: You seem pretty annoyed by him.
Luigi: WAH! Wh-wh-wh... Who's-a there?
?: Don't worry, Luigi. I'm on your side. I totally understand what you're so mad about!
Luigi: You... you do?
?: Of course. And... I can help you get out from Mario's shadow.
Luigi: ...... I'm-a listening.
(It is now morning, just after breakfast. 8 days until Brawl. Link and Krystal are sitting in the rec room,
apart from Wario, who is furiously trying to beat Luigi at foos-ball, to win their own bet.)
Krystal: So.... Why did you want to talk? I thought everything was settled.
Link: Yeah, not really... I'm sorry, Krystal, but I can't love you.
(Krystal's head twitches. She swallows hard, and coughs.)
Krystal: You- you can't? Why's that?
Link: Well, I've been thinking hard, and I've come to a couple conclusions. I know I said screw'em about
the others, and my other lovers on Hyrule, but-
Krystal: Of course. I understand.
Link: It's just that we're supposed to be comrades, not lovers. Keeping it professional, and all that.
Krystal: Yes, I know. It's fine. Was that all?

Link: Eh? Oh, the other conclusion. Well... I suppose you could say it would be best for me to, you know,
keep all my ladies on one planet, and all that. Besides, I don't think I could bring myself to fight someone
I...
(Link's voice trails off, and his face flushes a little.)
Krystal: Oh, dear. Are you embarrassed? Do you have a problem with... sex?
(Link's face flushes further.)
Link: No. Why would I? Not a problem at all..... But that's kinduv another reason. Can't you feel it?
There's a lot of sex, around here. The last thing this mansion needs is another... odd pairing.
Krystal: Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.
Link: Great. So, ah... are we still friends?
(Krystal smiles, pats his cheek, and walks out of the room. Link stares at her as she leaves.)
Luigi: GAME!! You lose again!
Wario: DAMMIT! Best 11 out of 20?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In one of the training rooms ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Lucario is practicing his mental sight with the children.) Note: For those of you who don't know what
that means, in the movie, Lucario closes his eyes, and he can see his surroundings, along with any
people/Pokemon. Kinda like Daredevil.
Lucario: <Come now, surely you can come at me faster than that?>
Poo: What gives? How come I can't hit you?
Lucario: <It is because you make your moves obvious. An experienced fighter, such as myself, could read
your moves, and predict what you're going to do, probably before you even think about doing it.>
Pikachu: Pika, Pikachu! Chu pika.
Kirby: Pu-YO!
Lucario: <My Mind's Eye gives me an unfair advantage? Very well. When I open my eyes, I invite all of
you to come at me at once.>
(When Lucario opens his eyes, every one of the children jumps at him from all sides. Lucario simply
jumps straight up, and the children all collide with each other, in a very comical way. Pichu and Pikachu,
both being very surprised by this, instantly discharge a huge amount of electricity. The result is that
they're all slightly blackened, and smoking.)
Lucario: ....... 
(One by one, the children stand up.)
Ness: You... teach us? Teach us what?
Lucario: <That... is the very first lesson.>
TD: Hmm. I didn't expect my chat with Luigi to turn out quite like that. This could alter my plans, a little.
MK: You talked with Luigi? Wow, you're really reaching, aren't you?
TD: Don't start, Meta-Knight. Everyone around here is just too damned content. I can't work with them,
literally. You're a smart.... whatever you are. You know that the easiest way to get people to your side is
to play on their emotions, and make promises. And before you start, as I've stated several times, I WILL
deliver on the promise I made to you. However, I can't do it until the Day of Brawl.
MK: Make sure you do. But, while I'm at it, how did you get Ridley to your side?
TD: That overgrown lizard? His mind is weak. I actually tweaked his personality to be more subservient
to evil overlords, such as myself. He's a pawn.
MK: Which makes me...?
TD: You're quite a bit more than a pawn, I assure you. You're going to be a very good ally- sorry, you
don't like that word. You're going to be a valuable person to have... by my side.
MK: ..... I'll ignore the obvious significant pause there. What about Luigi?
TD: Him? I don't know yet. Like I said, it was an interesting conversation. When I said it might alter my
plans, I meant it. Incidentally, I have a task for you. I suspect that Samus' group knows quite a bit more
than they're letting on. I want you to gain their confidence, and find out what you can. Report back right
after.
MK: Hmph. Give me a good reason why I should, first.
TD: It's simple: If you don't, I'll cause you more agony than my dear "father" has ever felt. This was a part
of our agreement, remember? You standing by my side means the occasional task.
(Pause.)
MK: What if I don't feel like doing this?
TD: ..... Try me.

(For a very long moment, The Deity and Meta-Knight stare each other down. The tension suddenly
becomes very thick.)
MK: Fine.
(Meta-Knight exits.)
TD: ....... He's such a good minion. I'll do him the favor of making his death painless.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Peach, Zelda, Wario and Luigi are all sitting together. Wario's eyes keep twitching.)
Peach: How's it going? Did you win a bet, yet?
Wario: *grunt* *cough* *fidget* *twitch*
Luigi: We played 30 straight games. He lost all of ‘em. He's buying for a month.
(Wario's entire head twitches so hard, his neck cracks.)
Wario: You- You must be... getting tired! Hands getting weak! I'll get you- Yes, I'll get you. After this,
we're going right back! I'll win, dammit. I'll win it all! The odds are on my side!!
(Wario suddenly notices that most of the people in the room is looking at him.)
Wario: WHAT!? I WILL WIN! YOU'LL SEE!
(Wario shoves the rest of his sandwich in his mouth, and quickly waddles out.)
(Silence.)
Zelda: You're not actually going back, are you?
Luigi: Of course not.
Peach: Are you going to go drinking with him?
Luigi: .... Nah. He would probably do something really-a stupid, like bet that he can drink 20 shots of-a
tequila.
Peach: Ugh. It's like he's going through withdrawal. Would he really do that?
Luigi: That's why I'm-a not going. I know he can do it. He has to be taken to the hospital, after, but he
can do it.
Zelda: Mercy. It almost hurts me to see him like this. What was the bet you made with him?
Peach: I would give him anything he could ask for, if he won a single bet.
Zelda: ...... Anything?
Luigi: Heh. Even that. That reminds me... Princess, he said he wouldn't, after what "he" did. Would you
care to tell us what that means?
(Peach looks taken aback. It takes here a moment to recover.)
Peach: Luigi... How- How dare you inquire about something so private!
Zelda: What the-? Peach, what's going on?
Peach: It's nothing, Zelda. Never mind.
Luigi: There! You did it again! You look down on me, pretend I don't know anything. You think I'm some
moron.
(Heads are starting to turn.)
Peach: Luigi! (Quiet hiss) Would you keep it down? If you're so worked up, we can go somewhere so
nobody hears you whining!
(Zelda's eyes widen at Peach's harsh voice. Luigi's eyes widen, as well, then narrow to little slits.)
Luigi: ..... Whining, eh? You know... I think I'm-a going to go see what Wario knows... Make a bet with
him, you know?
(Before Peach can say anything, Luigi gets up, and runs to the entryway. He pauses, turns around, and
speaks loudly.)
Luigi: And when I know, so will EVERYONE else!
(Luigi runs out. A few stunned moments later, Peach follows, fast.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: ...... I really thought this might be a normal day.
Snake: Not a chance. Name two consecutive days that have been normal.
Samus: *sigh* I suppose. +Mewtwo, can you hear me?+
Mewtwo: <You have 5 seconds to tell me something important, before I ignore you.>
Samus: +Don't you think this is something I should know about? Why don't you go do some snooping?+
Mewtwo: <Hmmm..... Nah. Snake is perfectly capable of doing that. So are you, for that matter.
Mewtwo out.>
Samus: +Mewtwo? Mewtwo?+ ....... Dammit.
Snake: What's that?
Samus: ...... Sweetheart... Darling...
Snake: Maybe. What is it?
Samus: Could you go spy on Peach and Luigi, for me?
Snake: ...... Lemme finish my sammich.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile, in the rec room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Peach runs in. Luigi, who is standing in front of Wario, whirls on her.)
Peach: Luigi, I-! ..... Did he tell you?
Luigi: ..... You lost, Princess. Wario won the bet. He knows. He-a told me.
(Silence. Peach looks down at the floor, her hair covering her face. Her crown slips, and clatters on the
floor. Tears glisten in her eyes.)
Peach: Luigi, please.. You must understand-
Luigi: Don't. I understand.
(Peach slowly lifts her head. A single tear trickles down her face.)
Peach: You- You do?
Luigi: That's-a right. Perfectly. That's why I'm not-a going to tell everyone.
Peach: Luigi... Oh, bless-

Luigi: I'm-a just going to tell Mario.
(Peach gasps sharply, her eyes widening with fear. She lifts one gloved hand to cover her mouth, which
is hanging open. Another tear runs down her face.)
Luigi: See you around... Princess.
(Luigi walks out, his footsteps echoing in the silent din within the room.)
Wario: Princess.... (A nasty grin spreads over his face) You're not going to try to get out of our deal, are
you?
(Peach puts her face in her hands, sobbing softly. She slowly shakes her head. Wario coos.)
Wario: Good girl.
(Luigi is alone in his room. Despite his cold resoluteness, earlier, he is looking forlorn.)
TD: <Hey, Luigi, why so glum?>
Luigi: WHA-!? Oh... It's-a you. What do you want?
TD: <Oh, come now, we're working together, we have to look out for each other. Part of that involves
me listening to your woes. Come on, Luigi, spill it. What's bothering you?>
Luigi: ..... I just-a learned something very disturbing, about Princess Peach. I said that I would tell Mario,
but-
TD: <Mario? What's this about Mario? What are you telling him?>
Luigi: ..........
TD: <Oh, sorry, I interrupted. Go on.>
Luigi: ..... If I tell Mario, I can't imagine how badly it-a would hurt him. He's-a my brother! I can't tell him
something that would-a hurt him.
TD: ..... <If I were you, I'd tell him. Remember how Peach treated you? Does she really deserve the
sympathy she didn't give you?>
Luigi: It's-a not her. This is about Mario. He's seen a lot, but this... this could be really bad, for him.
TD: <Oh, please. How bad could it be? It's not as though she was sleeping with Bowser, is it?>
(Luigi looks up at nothing in particular, and raises an eyebrow.)
TD: ..... <Oh. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Er, do you know why?>
Luigi: Why what? Why she was doing... that... with Bowser? All this-a time, she really loved him. It's-a
been an act, the whole time.
TD: <Huh. Hmm... Luigi, do you know what that means? It means she's played you AND Mario as the
fool. Ooh, you should definitely tell Mario.>
Luigi: I just-a don't know... He's-a been through so much, as it is. Does he really need to know this?
TD: <Luigi, listen to me. Mario has put his heart and soul into all those years, saving princesses. Don't
you think he DESERVES to know? He risked his life, what, six times, more, to save that one princess? This
is definitely something that->
Luigi: .... What is it?
TD: 
Luigi: What? What about- Oh, no.... No, no, no, no, no... no. You think?
TD: <It's possible.... Luigi, Bowser Jr. tried to destroy Mario, too. If he really is Peach's son... Luigi, you
HAVE to tell Mario.>
Luigi: ..... *sigh* Yeah, I suppose I should. Later, though. I need a nap.
TD: <That's fine. Glad to be of help.>
Luigi: One more thing, though.
TD: <What's that?>
Luigi: You said in exchange for you helping me, that I would have to do something for you. What is it?
TD: <Oh, that? Heh. Don't you worry about that. You've already helped me, quite a bit. I gotta go now.
Good luck with Mario.
TD: Yes... Good luck, and thanks for the help...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, in Samus's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: So, whadju find out?
Snake: Not a whole lot. It was pretty much over, by the time I got there. But what I did see was not
pretty, at all.
Samus: This whole mansion is a breeding ground for wrongness. Was it really that bad?
Snake: I'm afraid so. I had to sit down, just to let the reality of the situation sink in.
Samus: Good lord. Well, you might as well not hold back. Lay it on me.
Snake: Don't say I didn't warn you. *deep breath* All I saw was Wario leading Peach out of the room, by
the hand. Wario had a nasty grin on his face, and Peach was hanging her head, looking, for lack of a
better word, submissive, even beaten. I don't think I've ever seen her look so defeated.
Samus: Submissive? This is bad. Very bad... Wait, what's that?

Snake: I was about to mention it.
(Snake pulls Peach's crown out of his belt, and holds it out to Samus, who takes it from him.)
Samus: Peach's crown... What the hell is going on?
Snake: I think I should start spying in Wario's room, and maybe Peach's.
Samus: Right. I'll keep an eye out for Peach, and if I can, I'll sit down with her and talk.
(Snake turns to go, but pauses, and turns back.)
Snake: Say... if it looks like, you know... if things get bad... should I intervene?
(Samus looks at Snake, then down at Peach's crown, then back at Snake.)
Samus: Please.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is in his room, holding the completed doll-body for Serenade.)
Geno: So, what do you think?
Serenade: <Took you long enough. But... I like it. A little too much flesh, for my taste, but I like the hair.
So... I just go into it, and that's it?>
Geno: It's a little more complicated, but that's the gist of it.
(Geno places the doll on the floor, and Serenade floats into it. There's a bright flash, and there stands
the new Serenade.)
Serenade: ...... Neat. Weird... but neat. Thank you... love.
Geno: You're welcome. Although, it's a little weird that you're almost twice my size.
Serenade: Bah. No matter. Sooo..... Now what?
Geno: Hmm.... Good question. I suppose we could... Nah.
Serenade: What? Wait... that?
Geno: No, no. Not that. Forget it.
Serenade: Eh. I suppose that's not something we have to think about, right now. More importantly, how
are you going to introduce me to everyone? It's not as though you could just bring me out, and that's it.
Geno: ...... You know what? I'll worry about that later. For now, let's just enjoy our physical selves.
Serenade: What? You don't mean... Geno!
Geno: What? No! I mean we should... you know... cuddle, or something.
Serenade: Oh.... Well, I just hope I don't get splinters.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Fox, Falco and Sonic have just finished training, and are walking back to the rec room.)
Sonic: Whew! You guys don't kid around, do you? I haven't had a workout like that since I fought
Shadow on the Arc cannon.
Fox: What'd we tell you? It might seem like it's non-stop weirdness, but we certainly know how to fight.
Falco: It's a shame Marth, Megaman and Bass couldn't join us. I wonder what they're up to?
Fox: Probably something we don't really want to know about.
Falco: True. So, Sonic, what's the deal with Krystal? I haven't seen her since yesterday, when you talked
to her.
Sonic: Ask her yourself. She's right over there.
(As they walk into the rec room, they can see Krystal in a round of pool against Roy.)
Fox: Krystal! Hey! Um... How are you?
Krystal: Relax, you guys. I'm fine. I was having a little problem, but it's been taken care of.
Falco: You sure? You were really scaring us, for a moment.
Krystal: I've mellowed out, some, but other than that, I'm the exact same as before.
Sonic: That's good to hear. Who's winning?
(A clack is heard, and they look over just in time to see Roy sink three balls at once.)
Roy: (Excited Japanese)
Krystal: This kid is good. Like, too good. And as far as I know, he's never played before.
Roy: (More Japanese)
Fox: You know, one of these days, we're going to learn some Japanese, and know what the hell they're
talking about.
Falco: I thought we never, ever wanted to know what they're talking about.
Fox: That's true.
Sonic: Now what are you guys talking about?
Falco: *sigh* Forget about it, Sonic. It's too early for you to lose your innocence.
Fox: It would probably be better if you never, ever found out, really.
(Sonic shakes his head.)
Sonic: I swear, you people make less sense now, than when I first came in.
(Sonic, Falco and Fox leave. On the way out, they pass Blaziken.)
Krystal: Hey there. You're Blaziken, right? You're the one who defeated Vaati?
(Blaziken simply nods.)
Krystal: That's pretty slick. Name's Krystal. Hang on.
(Krystal lines up a shot, shoots, and misses.)
Krystal: Dammit! Anyway, you're a Pokemon, right? Are you like the others?
(Blaziken does a grunt/laugh, and shakes his head.)
Krystal: A Pokemon who takes things seriously? Good to know. It's nice to have someone more mature,
around here.
(Krystal shoots, and sinks one ball.)
Krystal: I'm sure I was better at this. Whatever. *eyes Blaziken up and down* So... Are you reclusive on
purpose, or are you just misunderstood? I've never seen you in the cafeteria, that's for sure.
(Blaziken pauses, then pinches his bicep.)
Krystal: Arm? Muscle? .... OH! Not enough red meat?
(Nod.)
Krystal: Huh. You're quite the carnivore, aren't you? You really should be seen more, though. I bet you're
a nice guy, underneath all the fire and claws.
(Blaziken hesitates, then gives a thumbs-up.)

Krystal: Cool. *turns back to pool table, and sees Roy sink the 8 ball* Wha- DAMMIT! I thought you said
this was your FIRST time!
(Blaziken exits. While walking through the halls, he has an inner monologue.)
Blaziken: +That was weird. Even most Pokemon shy away from me. I wonder if most of the people
around here are like her. It would be kinda nice to have someone I can call a friend. Of course, it'll have
to be someone who knows what the heck I'm saying. Then again, she didn't seem to have much of a
problem understanding me. I wonder-+
(Blaziken suddenly stops, just before a corner. A moment later, he jumps high, and digs his claws into
the wooden beams of the rafters. Beneath him, Meta-Knight passes. After Meta-Knight turns another
corner, Blaziken drops down.)
Blaziken: ....... +Something doesn't seem right... at all.+
(Silently, Blaziken follows Meta-Knight.)
(It's been only two hours since Snake spoke with Samus. They are once again in Samus's room.)
Samus: Well? How bad was it?
Snake: I'm a little surprised. I really thought it was going to be a lot worse.
Samus: Really? Huh. I guess we didn't give Wario enough credit. What happened?
Snake: ..... He made her wash his clothes... all of it... by hand.
Samus: So? That doesn't sound too bad.
Snake: Not really, until you remember how much of a slob Wario really is, and, um, his... Weren't you
there when you saw his Super Smash?
Samus: His Supe- (eyes go wide) Oh.... Goodness.
Snake: Yeah.... So, now what?
Samus: I don't know... I think you should keep on eye on them, a little longer. I still wouldn't put it past
Wario to try something lecherous.
Snake: Yeah, I thought that would be best. Still, though, there's something bothering me.
Samus: What's that?
Snake: Well... I saw her washing his clothes, and her mood hasn't changed at all from when Wario led
her out of the room.
Samus: And? If I had to do that, I'd be feeling pretty down.

Snake: No, no... This goes beyond feeling down. She looked depressed, almost to the point to where she
might become like Meta-Knight.
Samus: Hm, good point. (sits back in chair) Well... I wish I could be of more help. Unfortunately, I have
quite a bit more to think about. There's... "that" issue, and then there's the thing about Mario's farewell
celebration.
Snake: That thing is still going on?
Samus: I'll keep it up as long as I have to. If I suddenly stop the planning, just because I, err, know better,
everyone will get suspicious. That's the exact sort of thing that would throw a wrench into the works.
(Silence.)
Snake: Okay, then. I'll go look in on Peach, once more, and then I gotta meet with Lu- (eyes widen) That
green BASTARD!
Samus: What? What are you yelling about?
Snake: How could I have not seen it?! When he went running out of the cafeteria, earlier, he said he
would know, and then everyone else would know. He must have... He must have learned Peach's secret
from Wario, and that's what has Peach so depressed, because he's going to tell everyone!
Samus: Are you sure?
Snake: No, but I'm going to find out. Now.
(Snake storms out of the room.)
TD: Hmm..... You're smart. Very smart. But... I wonder how much you truly know?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In Doc's office ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Doc: Unh. All my cases are finally finished. I can-a get some rest.
(Pause)
Doc: +Why do I feel like I just-a completely destroyed all hope for relaxation?+
(The very next moment, the door bursts open, and there stands Pit, holding Zelda in her arms. She's
bleeding badly.)
Pit: DOC! Please, help her!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 4 hours later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit is sitting bed-side to Zelda. She has been hooked up to various machines, and there are multiple IV
bags being fed into her arm.)
(Silence.)
........
..........
..........................
?: <It's a pity, isn't it?>
(Pit just sniffs. It seems he hasn't realized there is no person in the room to go with the voice.)
?: ..... <Do you know what happened? It looks awfully serious.>
(Pit sniffs again, and slowly shakes his head.)
?: 
(Pit sniffs again... and slowly lifts his head.)
Pit: ....... Thank you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, 4 hours and 20 minutes earlier ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Zelda: Oh, hello, Meta-Knight.
MK: Zelda, you enjoy ancient literature as well?
Zelda: Oh, yes. It's as Pit was telling me, earlier, it's because the ancients were so in tune with the land
that they could see their deities, and that's what gave them their inspiration for such masterful tales.
MK: Really? I've never heard that reason, before.
Zelda: Well, he serves directly to a Goddess, after all. And, I know that since we Hyrulian's know of our
roots so well, we have written our own masterpieces.
MK: Fascinating. On my home-world, all of our inspiration comes from real-life battles.
Zelda: Oh, my! It sounds needlessly violent.
MK: Not really. We always stop before anyone gets seriously hurt, and it's always done in the spirit of
competition, and builds comradery.
Zelda: Oh. I suppose that's okay, then.
MK: Hmm.....
Zelda: Something wrong?
MK: ....... On my home-world, I was well renowned for my story-telling. It's been a very long while...
Princess Zelda, may I ask a favor of you?
Zelda: Certainly. What is it?
MK: Would you indulge this old warrior story-teller, and let me tell you one of my personal tales?
Zelda: Oh. ... I'm not sure. I must meet Pit for...
(Zelda's face flushes a bit.)
MK: Ah. I see. (Sigh) Perhaps... another kind soul will listen to me.
(Meta-Knight turns to go.)
Zelda: Wait, Meta-Knight. Please don't go. I'd be honored to listen to your tale.
MK: I'm so pleased to hear that. Then... Come with me...
(A couple minutes later, Meta-Knight exits the library, walks on, and turns a corner. Blaziken drops from
the rafters, and stands outside the door.)
Blaziken: +Strange. I was sure he was going to try something, but I didn't hear anything out of the
ordinary. Still, it would be good for me to look. At the very least, it'll make me look... social.+
(As soon as Blaziken opens the door, he stops. His eyes widen, and his heart quickens.)
Blaziken: +What is this scent? Is it... no. DAMMIT!+
(Blaziken bounds through the halls, looking for Pit.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion, 10 minutes after Pit takes Zelda to Doc's ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
TD: Hmm... a little messy.
MK: I didn't want to do it. It's only because I know which parts to hit to not kill her, that I accepted the
task in the first place.
TD: I suppose. It is good for her to be alive. If anyone dies, it could mess up all my plans.
MK: You say you're going to contact Pit?
TD: Later. I want to give him time to settle down, and let his mind go into a fog. That'll make it easier
to... "persuade" him... to my side.
MK: ........
TD: Eh? What's with you?
MK: .......... I was just wondering about.... How many more, must I deceive? How many of my friends
must I hurt?
TD: Meta-Knight... Are you having second thoughts? If you are, that's fine. It just means I have to
brainwash you, so that you don't remember me. Of course, it's entirely possible that my irritation with
you for betraying me might make me "miss" your memory, if you know what I mean.
MK: ..... (sigh) Yeah. I get it. I'm going to take a nap, now.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Luigi is standing outside Mario's office. His hand is on the knob, but that's it. Suddenly-)
Snake: LUIGI!
(Before he can react, Snake has lifted Luigi off the ground by his overalls, and is holding him close to his
face.)
Snake: WHAT is your malFUNCTION!?
Luigi: Wha-wha-wha (shakes his head) What are you talking about?
Snake: You know damn well what I'm talking about. (Drops his voice to little more than a whisper) I just
came from watching Wario and Peach, and the Princess doesn't look all too well. Would you care to
explain why?
Luigi: ...... Put-a me down.
(Snake hesitates, then slowly lowers Luigi to the floor. He adjusts his overalls, and glares at Snake.)
Luigi: I think that-a you know... It doesn't matter who you are, you have to earn respect. The Princess
hasn't been-a respecting me, so I decided I wouldn't give her any sympathy.
Snake: You mean you haven't seen how broken she is? She's almost as bad as Meta-Knight was, not too
long ago.
Luigi: I DON'T CARE! This is something that Mario must know!
(Suddenly, the door swings open. Mario is on the other side.)
Mario: What must I know?
(Silence.)
Mario: You two are-a way too loud, you know that?
(More silence. Luigi looks at his shoes.)
Mario: *sigh* Come on in. You might as well tell me.
(Mario goes back into his office. A moment later, Luigi walks in, with Snake close behind, who shuts the
door behind him. Mario seats himself behind his desk.)
Mario: ...... Well?
(Silence.)
Snake: Come on, greeney. You were so set on telling him. So, tell him.
(Luigi fidgets a bit, and finally comes to a decision. He balls up his hands at his sides, and scrunches his
eyes closed.)
Luigi: Peach... PEACH AND BOWSER ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR AND SHE REALLY IS BOWSER JR.'S-a
MOTHER!
(Silence. Mario sits back in his chair, and sighs.)
Mario: Yes.... I know.
(Luigi's eyes fly open, and Snake's jaw drops. A few long moments later...)
Snake: REALLY?
Mario: That's-a right.
Luigi: And... and you didn't tell me? Why?
Mario: Luigi... do you really think you could have handled it?
Luigi: But... but you-

Mario: When I realized it, I was so shocked, my mind stopped working, and I went wandering off, and
got lost. It's a good thing Yoshi found me when he did.
Luigi: ...Oh... And... AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT?
(Luigi's face suddenly turns red, and he has started shaking with anger.)
Luigi: IT'S-A ALL BEEN ONE BIG SECRET! And here I am, in the dark. I'll bet you had a good laugh at me!
(suddenly whirls on Snake) And you! You knew, too, didn't you?
Snake: Well, come on, Luigi. I'm a being of stealth. Of course I knew.
Luigi: WHAT THE HELL!?
(Suddenly, Mario clubs Luigi on the back of the head with one gloved hand. Luigi is knocked out.)
Snake: ..... Umm...
Mario: This isn't the first time he's-a gone hysterical. *sigh* I was going to tell him, eventually. I see I
was too late.
Snake: Mario... If you knew, all this time, why did you put up with the Princess, and her... Why did you
keep saving her?
Mario: ..... Do you really want to know?
Snake: Of course! You've been through way too damn much to justify indulging Peach in her little
games.
Mario: They aren't little-a games, Snake... It's-a love.

Snake: Love. Of course. That STILL doesn't excuse her!
Mario: Yes. Yes it does.
Snake: But... WHY!?
Mario: Because... I have never loved, like her.... And I'm not the sort of-a guy who gets in the way of
love.
(Snake just stares at Mario.)
Snake: Well.... why didn't you just tell her that you know, and that you're okay with it?
(Mario looks away from Snake, and turns away.)
Mario: .... Because... (turns back, with a grin, and a glint in his eye) It's-a really fun to kick the crap out of
Bowser!
(Snake blinks a few times... then bursts out laughing. A few moments later, Mario starts laughing as well.
A minute later, they settle down.)
Snake: Oh, MAN! I never thought you had it in you, Mario. Well... Are you going to tell Peach you know,
now?
Mario: You said she's-a really depressed, right?
Snake: That's right. And, erh, you might want to get to her, fast. She, um... she made a bet with Wario,
and lost.
Mario: Oh. I think I see what you mean. *sigh* I suppose I should, if-a only to get her away from Wario.
Oh! I almost forgot about-a Luigi.
Snake: Don't worry about him. I'll just take him down to a bar, then wake him up. I know him. A few jello
shots is all it takes to calm him down.
(Snake slings Luigi over his shoulder, and turns to leave. He pauses, then turns back.)
Snake: Um, say, Mario... Did you know about Peach's... other secret?
Mario: Hm? Besides Bowser and Bowser Jr.? What is it?
Snake: ...... Nah. I don't think there's any need for you to know. You should go to Peach, now. I think
she's in Wario's room.
Mario: ..... Okay, then.
(Mario and Snake exit Mario's office, and go off in separate directions. However, as Mario is heading
towards Wario's room...)
Blaziken: BLAZIKEN!
(Mario whirls around to see Blaziken running towards him at top speed. For an instant Mario pulls back
a fist, ready to retaliate. However, Blaziken skids to a halt, just before him.)
Blaziken: Blay- Blaziken!
Mario: ...... Lead the way.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A short while later, in Doc's office ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Doc: Here's-a what I got, from the prognosis. She was-a clearly stabbed, just below her right shoulder.
The knife didn't-a go very deep, thankfully. However, it-a was only a small knife, and not enough to
make her pass out from anything. I knew something was-a wrong, so I put her blood through a tox-
screen, to check for... well, we'll know in a few minutes.
Mario: ...... What the hell is-a going on here!?
Pit: That's what I want to know! Why would anyone want to hurt Zelda, of all people?
Mario: I don't know, but I assure you, Pit, that we WILL find the fiend, and pass down judgement.
Blaziken, thank you for getting me.
Pit: That's right. Blaziken, you're the one who told me about this. Did you see anything? Did you see who
did it?
(For a moment, Blaziken hesitates. Then, he nods once.)

Pit: Great. You'll have to point him out for me, later.
Doc: A-hem! I just got the tox screen. It's as I feared, she's been poisoned. It isn't anything that will kill
her. However, she's in a coma... I'm-a not sure when she'll wake up.
(Absolute silence. Pit sinks into his chair, next to Zelda's bed.)
Pit: If- If you don't mind... May I please be alone?
Mario: Of course. Come on, Doc. We'll discuss this in-a my office.
(Mario, Doc and Blaziken exit, leaving Pit. Pit sinks his face into his heads, and sobs quietly.)
(Luigi and Snake are at their favorite bar. Luigi has already done 8 jello shots, while Snake is on his fourth
whisky.)
Luigi: He- He- He (jello shot) ..... He knew! For years! WHY!?
Snake: Why what?
Luigi: Why he went along with-a the Princess's charade!
Snake: .... I asked him.
Luigi: You did? What'd he say?
Snake: (sips whisky) .... Love.
Luigi: Love?
Snake: Mm-hm. (sips whisky)
(Luigi stare at nothing, and takes another shot.)
Bartender: Slow down, friend, I'm running out of those, fast. Besides, how're you paying for all this?
(Snake pulls the credit card given to him by Mario, back when he became a brawler, and hands it to the
bartender.)
Snake: They'll take care of it. One of the few good things about this gig. Anyway, Mario says he's not the
kind to get in the way of love. That's why he never got angry over it.
Luigi: ..... That's-a it?
Snake: Oh, there was something else. Mario told me - you're going to love this - that he really enjoys
kicking Bowser's ass.
(Luigi takes another shot.)

Luigi: Something strong, fast.
Snake: Eh? I thought it was pretty funny. Especially that grin on his face. He really looked like he gets
some kind of perverse thrill from it.
(Luigi takes the drink, and downs it all, fast.)
Snake: Damn. I guess you're taking it pretty hard.
(Luigi says nothing... He doesn't even move.)
Snake: ..... Are you still conscious?
Luigi: Maybe.
Snake: Good enough. So, how come you're so upset, anyway?
Luigi: *sigh* It-a seems like everyone I know has a low opinion of me. Either that, or they don't think
about me, at all.
Snake: Hm. I think I can see how that would hurt. I guess I can understand how it would make you snap,
after a while. (sips whisky) Make no mistake, though. I still think what you did to Peach is reprehensible.
Luigi: Yeah. I kinda feel bad about it, now. But, come on, if Mario didn't-a know, don't-a you think he
deserves to? That's-a the Princess's son that impersonated Mario to ruin his reputation, and then
attacked him.
Snake: Well, sure, that's all well and good, but.... She had to wash all of Wario's clothes... by hand.
Luigi: ..... That's all?
Snake: Whadduya mean, "that's all?"
Luigi: ..... He told me he was-a going to do something bad.
Snake: Well, yeah, I thought that counted as bad. I mean, she has to wash his underwear, and he isn't
exactly known for his hygiene, you know?
Luigi: No, no, I think there's-a more. I know what you mean, but I coulda swore I-
(Luigi suddenly hiccups loudly, and his head falls - bulbous nose -first - into his jello-shot.)
Snake: ....... Looks like all that alcohol finally caught up with him. Damn. I guess I have to take him back,
then go talk with Wario and Peach.
(Snake totals up all the drinks between the two of them, has the bartender charge it to his card, slings
Luigi over his shoulder, and heads back to the mansion.)
Snake: Ugh. I can't believe I woke up feeling like this was going to be a good day. Foolish, foolish me.
(Snake suddenly stops, mid-stride, and massages his forehead with one hand.)
Snake: Hm. I guess those whiskeys are startin' to take effect. Oh well. I've always wanted to try dealing
with a very awkward, sort of serious problem, while drunk.
(Snake continues on, until...)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, in Wario's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wario: That's it, Princess. Just like that. Ooh, you know just what to do, don't you? Yeah, that's right,
you've had practice, haven't you?
Peach: Wario, please! It's disgusting enough, as it is! And, for your information, I've never washed feet,
ever!
Wario: Sorry, sweetie, I didn't go suffer all those losses, just to go easy on you, now. In fact, just to make
it that much worse...
Peach: .... What?
Wario: Relax, Princess. After this, you're free from your duties.
Peach: ..... Promise?
(Wario's grin grows so wide and wicked, it threatens to go off his face.)
Wario: I guarantee. Heh heh.
(Suddenly, a high-pitched whine cuts Wario short, before he could do anything else. A couple moments
later, the door falls down. Snake steps on the door. In one hand, he holds a small circular saw, and in the
other, a lighter. Snake lights up the cigarette in his mouth.)
Snake: Sorry. I'm sure Peach has done some bad stuff, but I gotta step in, now.
Wario: What the hell?! What the hell are-..... Are you drunk?
Snake: Only a little. But don't try anything, fatso. I can still punt your pudgy ass from here to Link's
world.
Wario: You stay out of this! This woman and I had a bet, and she lost! Now, you get lost!
Snake: Aaaaaahhhhh....... Nah. Besides, if I know you half as well as I think I do, you're using her sad
state to get more than what you bargained for.
(Peach's head, which had sunk low, snapped up. She looked at Snake with big, hopeful eyes.)
Wario: What the hell are you on about, now? I thought you said you're drunk!
Snake: True. But, then, I've always been really good at holding my liquor. Seriously, though, I know what
the bet was, and the stakes. When Peach said that she would do anything you want, the official book on
gambling terms states that it refers to a single action. She was done after she finished with your laundry.
(Snake steps over to Peach, and, holding her by her arm, and helps her up.)
Snake: Oh, and, we can't go drinking tonight. One, Luigi is probably going to be out for a while, and two,
I don't really feel like drinking with you, ever again.
(Snake and Peach exit. Out of rage and frustration, Wario kicks the fallen door with his bare foot, then
starts hopping about, holding said foot in pain.)
Peach: Um, thank you.
Snake: Hm.
Peach: And... about Luigi...
Snake: He's gonna be a little edgy, for a while. Don't worry about it.
Peach: I just-
Snake: He was right, though. About the respect thing, I mean. Be nicer to him. In fact, I'm going to have
a talk with Mewtwo about messing with him when he's hung over.
Peach: ...... I sh-

Snake: He knows.
Peach: What? Who knows what?
(Snake stops, and looks Peach in the eye.)
Snake: ......... Come on. Something tells me we'll want to be somewhere a little less... open.
(Snake takes Peach to his room. Inside, Snake lies on his bed, and presses his hands against his face.)
Snake: Mario... He knew, the whole time.
(Peach gasps, and covers her mouth with a hand. She sinks into a chair.)
Peach: Really?
Snake: Mm-hm. That's about the same reaction I had. Believe me, it's better than Luigi's hysterics.
Peach: ..... Goodness.... Do you know how long he knew? Or how he found out?
(Silence. Snake takes his hands away from his face, and sits at the edge of the bed.)
Snake: You know.... I never thought to ask. Oh, he knew about Bowser Jr., as well.
(Another gasp from Peach. She looks as if she's about to cry.)
Snake: Settle down, Peach, it isn't a big deal. Actually, no, yeah, it's a big deal, but that's not the point. I
mean, you and Bowser? What the hell?
(Snake looks at Peach, and sees tears standing in her eyes.)
Snake: Ah, hell. Listen, if it's any consolation, when I said that I'm slightly drunk, I was lying. I'm quite
gone, and I don't really know what I'm saying. Seriously, go talk with Mario, you'll feel better. As for me,
I'm not good at being dramatic while drunk, so I'll just take a nap.
(Without another word, Snake lies back down, and drapes his arm across his eyes. A couple moments
later, Peach exits his room.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In Mario's office ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It has now been approximately 45 minutes since Doc's diagnosis of Zelda. Blaziken had already
identified Meta-Knight, and Doc left to research an antidote to the poison that put Zelda in the coma.
Mario currently has his head on his desk.)
(Silence.)
Mario: +How? How am I going to tell everyone? I really should identify Meta-Knight. He might-a try to
attack someone else. But if I do, right now, it'll be utter chaos. Gah, what'll I do?+
(A moment later, there's a knock at the door. Mario lifts his head, composes himself, and takes a deep
breath.)
Mario: Enter.
(The door opens, and Peach timidly sticks her head in.)
Peach: Um, Mario, do you have a minute? Well, a few minutes, really.
Mario: Of course, Princess. Come in, please.
(Peach enters, closing the door behind her. She takes a seat in front of Mario's big desk, keeping her
eyes down.)
Mario: So, is this about-a what I think it's about?
(Peach just nods, slightly.)
Mario: ....... I can keep up the act if you can.

(Peach slowly looks up. Mario has a warm, friendly smile under his mustache.)
Peach: Wha-
Mario: Of course, nobody else can-a hear about this.
Peach: Of course.
Mario: Since, you know, it's-a still weird.
(Peach chews on her lip for a moment.)
Mario: What? It is, and-a you know it.
Peach: I... I know. Um, if you don't mind me asking... How long have you known?
Mario: Hmm.... I think it was about the fourth time that I suspected something, and I found out by the
sixth time. That-a was my first adventure with Yoshi, remember?
Peach: Oh, yes, yes. So... how did you, er... What gave it away?
Mario: ...... Honestly?
Peach: ... Yes.

(Mario takes a deep breath. He leans back in his big, executive chair.)
Mario: You're smell.
Peach: My.... smell?
Mario: Yoshi was-a with me, and he smelled a koopa's scent on you. I thought he was just talking about
him handling you, but he said, er, I think you get the idea.
Peach: Oh... I had no idea. I mean, I took a shower after-

Mario: THANK YOU! That'll-a be enough, Princess.
Peach: Oh, I apologize.
Mario: Quite alright.
Peach: But, there's one other thing.
Mario: Is it about your son? I suppose you want to know how I knew that, right?
Peach: Yes, please. I mean, was it obvious?
Mario: Yes... and no. The fact that Bowser Jr. was-a calling you "mama" in-a the first place raised my
suspicions. I figured he wouldn't-a do that if that possibility hadn't crossed his mind. And, since the
thought wouldn't-a cross his mind, at all, I figured Bowser had told him. And, since I already knew that
you two had been... *cough* ... I just put two and two together.
Peach: Mm..... When you put it like that, it really does seem obvious, doesn't it?
Mario: I'm afraid it really is. Of course, when I actually realized it, my mind died, again.
Peach: So... now what?
Mario: Now? We go on as-a normal.
Peach: Just like that?
Mario: It-a doesn't seem that hard, to me. Besides, I've been doing it for a while, now. The only
difference is that Bowser is the one who's-a in the dark. Now, if you'll please excuse me, I have some
important-a matters to attend to.
Peach: Yes, of course. I understand.
(Peach gets up, and opens the door, but she pauses. She turns back to Mario.)
Peach: Um, Mario?
Mario: Hm? Yes?
Peach: ....... Thank you.
Mario: Of course.
(Peach exits, and heads straight for Samus's room. She knocks, and enters. Samus, upon seeing Peach,
immediately puts down her book, and sits up.)
Samus: Peach! Er, are you alright?
Peach: Oh, yes. That thing with Wario is over. Although... I had to tell Mario.
Samus: About... that?
Peach: Yes, abou- How did you know?
(Samus pours out some chamomile for the two of them, gives a cup to Peach, and sits down.)
Samus: Well, it's not complicated. You know that Snake knew, right? Of course. Well, he gives a lot of his
information to me. That's how I found out.
Peach: Hm...
Samus: Er, you're not mad, are you? I know, I kept it from you, which was wrong of me.
Peach: Oh, no, no. Don't worry about it. You didn't go around, gossiping, or anything, so it's okay.
Samus: Are you sure? This isn't a small something, you know?
Peach: Samus, you don't get to be princess of the Mushroom Kingdom by getting upset, all the time. It's
fine, really. Anyway, it turns out that he knew the whole time. *sips chamomile* Mm. That's pretty
good.
Samus: The best. Good for all situations. *sips chamomile* So, you're all better, now?
Peach: Mmm..... Yes. Yes, I think I'm going to be alright. Oh, I'm going to have to wash me hands, twice,
though.
Samus: Why's that?
Peach: Wario... Wario made me...
Samus: Oh, dear. What did that disgusting little man do to you?
Peach: What? No, relax, it's not like that. He just made me... wash his feet.
Samus: Oh.... Well, that's still pretty bad.
Peach: You have no idea. Although...
Samus: What is it?
Peach: ... *sips chamomile* I think he might have been planning something far worse, if you know what I
mean. Thank goodness Snake busted down the door, before it happened.
Samus: Mm, that's my Snake, for ya. *sips chamomile* Oh! I almost forgot.
(Samus gets up, goes to a cupboard, takes out Peach's crown, and hands it to her.)
Samus: I believe this is your's, Princess.
Peach: Oh, thank you! I hadn't even realized that I lost it!
(Samus sits back down, and Peach carefully aligns her crown on top of her head.)
Samus: So.... Was there something else you wanted to talk about?
Peach: Well... It's probably nothing.
Samus: Which means it's something. Out with it.
Peach: .... Have you ever gotten a feeling of vague doom?

Samus: Story of my life, sweetie. Tell.
Peach: I don't know. Right before I left Mario's office, it just hit me. And... it feels a lot like it did, that
morning, so long ago, before we went to Mute City.
Samus: Oh, my. I had the same feeling! Yes, this is important. Do you remember anything else?
Peach: Umm.... Well, now that I think about it... It felt almost like, um... You know that feeling you get
when you have to be somewhere in a half-hour, but you only have twenty minutes?
Samus: Yes. We're running out of time. Right, I'll start calling everyone together.
Peach: Oh, no, you can't!
Samus: What? Why not?
Peach: Um... Snake got drunk with Luigi, and he's sleeping it off, right now.
Samus: WHAT!? At this time of day!? What the HELL was he thinking?!
Peach: Settle down, Samus! He said that... I think he said that Luigi went into hysterics when he found
out that Mario knew about me and Bowser. That's all!
Samus: Nope, don't care! I'm going to wake him, right now!
(Samus gets up, and storms out of her room, leaving Peach.)
Peach: ....... I should follow... If only to watch the fireworks.
(Peach goes after Samus.)
TD: Hm. It's such a marvelous little play, isn't it?
Ridley: hhI still dohn't know hwhy I'm hhere.
TD: Because I have instructions, for you. AH! NO! I know what you're going to say, and the answer is yes,
dammit! I'm going to get you what you want, but you MUST be patient! I mean, really, is it so hard a
concept to grasp? You're the general of the Space Pirates, for crying out loud. You must have some
brains in there.
Ridley: ..... hhWhat is it hyou need me to do?
TD: There you go. Was that so hard? It's a simple job, really. I just need somebody to feel... threatened,
if you know what I mean. Paranoid, scared out of their mind. I want you to stalk this person, make them
afraid for their life, get it?
(Silence. Then, Ridley does something nobody has ever seen him do. He smiles. It isn't pretty, at all. It's
the sort of smile that would make most people fear for their pathetic little lives. Even The Deity takes a
step backwards.)
TD: My word! Either you like my plan, or you just think it's going to involve senseless violence.
Ridley: hhI understand. hhWho is my target?
TD: Ah, that's better. This is the person you will be intimidating.
(The Deity holds up one hand, palm up. A flickering, holographic image pops up over his palm. The
person... is Luigi.)
(After the situation with Wario, Peach and Mario had been resolved, the rest of the day passed without
event. It is now the next day, seven days until Brawl, a couple hours before lunch-time. Meta-Knight is
wandering the halls, inner-monologue-ing.)
MK: +Get close to Samus? That bald, skinny, conniving, rotten-to-the-core, bastard of a creation doesn't
have any sense of reality. How in the hell am I supposed to get into Samus's little gang? If I even suggest
that I know something about him, I know they'll interrogate me, and I'm guessing Snake is proficient in
that skill. Still, if I ever want to see my wife, again, I have to go along with-+
(Meta-Knight turns a corner, and stops, because Ridley is crouched low, and peeking around another
corner.)
MK: +What the-?+ Ridley, what are you doing there?
(At the sound of Meta-Knight's voice, Ridley whirls around, smashing his tail into one of the walls, in the
process.)
Ridley: Be qhhuiet! I am hwaiting for my preeey.
MK: Prey? If you're hunting down my friends, I'll-

(Ridley suddenly laughs, a raspy, halting laugh, that makes his head bob up and down on his thin neck.)
Ridley: fFriends? You claim to hhave friends?
(Ridley laughs again. Despite his mask, Meta-Knight manages to look annoyed.)
MK: I do. Do you have a problem with that?
Ridley: I didn't think you would hhave ffriends, after what you did to that tasty-looking little princess.
(Meta-Knight's irritation grows, but there are now a couple other emotions. Ridley's continued laughing
is muted, to Meta-Knight.)
MK: Answer my question! If you are not hunting my-.... If you are not hunting, then what are you doing
here?
Ridley: I hhave been instructed to stalk a sscertain individual. hhI can never pass up the chance to give
someone a good sscare!
MK: Is that it? Fine.
(Without waiting for a response, Meta-Knight walks by Ridley, turns a corner, and disappears.)
Ridley: hHmm. I guess hhe's a bit touchy.
(Ridley crouches down, waiting for his prey to come by. Eventually....)
Luigi: I was strolling down the hall, one-a daaaay, in a very mer-ry waaaay.... When I was taken by-a-
(Ridley jumps out at Luigi, lands just short of him, and screeches, making sure to show all his teeth. Luigi
screams once, and runs down the hall, pissing himself along the way. Ridley rubs his claws together, and
does an evil giggle.)
Ridley: Oh, this is going to be ffun.
(Link is watching Krystal play against Roy in pool. Roy has three, Krystal has zero.)
Krystal: DAMMIT!!
Roy: (Happy Japanese.)
(Four- no, five.)
Link: You weren't joking around, were you? He's quite the prodigy, alright.
Krystal: The worst part is that I know I'm good at this, but I just can't do it like I used to.
Link: Can I try? I mean, I have no idea how to really play this, but I'd like to give it a shot.
Krystal: Sure, fine, go ahead. You can't possibly do worse than me. Just remember to aim the solid white
ball at any of the other solid-colored ones.
(Link looks hard at the table, walks around it a couple times.... chalks the stick... lines up, hits the cue-
ball....)
Krystal: ...... *&^% me.
Link: You're lucky none of the children are in here. Was that good?
Roy: (Slightly annoyed Japanese.)

Krystal: (sigh) Yes, Link, that was very good. +Damn prodigies. Oh well. At least Roy has someone giving
him a run for his money, now.+
(Just then, Blaziken walks in.)
Krystal: Hey, Blaziken. How's it going?
(Blaziken pauses for a moment, and stares at Krystal. Krystal raises an eyebrow, and glances at Link.)
Krystal: Why? Did I say something wrong?
(Blaziken shakes his head a little, then shakes his head no.)
Krystal: Okay, I can't understand anything you say, but I can still tell when something's bothering you.
What is it?
(Blaziken looks strangely at Krystal, and spreads his hands as if to say, ‘You expect me to do this?')
Krystal: Right, of course, I just said I can't understand anything you say. Wellll (glances at Link and Roy,
who are now thoroughly involved in their game) I have some time to kill. Why don't we sit down, and
we'll try to figure out some way to communicate.
(Blaziken looks away, at nothing, for a long moment. He looks at Krystal, and nods once.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ness and Poo are outside, in one of the mansion's many beautiful courtyards, catching up on old times.)
Ness: Poo? There's something I need to tell you.
Poo: You already told me about Mario and Samus, Ness.
Ness: Yeah, I know. This is something else. I have to warn you about something.
Poo: Huh? Warn me about what?
Ness: Well.... This place is really, really weird.
Poo: What do you mean? It can't be worse than when we traveled through time, as robots, can it?
Ness: It's way worse. It's like we're stuck in some big story, and it just keeps getting more and more
depressing.
Poo: I think I understand. I've been getting premonitions, and I think something's about to happen.
Something bad.
Ness: You haven't been wrong, so far. Do you know when it's going to happen?
Poo: Not sure. It could be today, it could be a week from now. We just have to be ready.
Ness: Of course, Poo. We'll be ready.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Lunchtime, in the cafeteria ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Peach: Luigi... What happened to you?
Luigi: Can't blink, or it'll eat me.... Can't blink, or it'll eat me.... Can't blink, or it'll eat me....
Peach: I just wish Zelda was here, so we could figure this out. Where is she, anyway? Zelda just isn't the
type to be late for anything.
Luigi: Can't blink, or it'll eat me.... Can't blink-
Peach: (sigh) I guess if you're muttering to yourself, that means I'm really just talking to myself. Oh,
there's Pit!
(Peach gestures to Pit, who just entered. Pit sits down, near Peach.)
Peach: Pit, do you where Zelda is? I've never known her to just disappear.
Pit: Zelda is... She's not feeling too well. She told me... She thinks it's because she's been away from
Hyrule, for too long.
Peach: Mm, I understand. I always have to go back to Mushroom Kingdom, just so I can- um- So I don't
get sick.
Pit: Right, right....
Peach: ..... Is something wr-

Pit: What's the deal with Luigi? I thought he wasn't hungover, this morning.
Peach: Hm? He wasn't. I don't know what's wrong with him. I think he was scared by something, a
couple hours ago. I can't imagine what would make him withdraw, like this. Even when Mewtwo scares
him, it wears off in less than fifteen minutes.
Pit: I know. This doesn't seem like a joke, at all, though.
Peach: What do you mean?
Pit: You said he might have been scared a couple hours ago? Well, I heard a screech, about the same
time. It sounded an awful lot like the screech from that Ridley character.
Peach: Really? Oh, my, this could be serious! I must speak with Mario about this.
(Peach gets up, and hurries out of the cafeteria..)

Luigi: ......Can't blink, or it'll eat me....
Pit: Tuh. Sorry, Luigi, but I can't spare any sympathy for you. I'm all out of that, right now.
(Luigi stops his ravings, and looks at Pit.)
Luigi: Don't-a let him help you.
Pit: What was that!?
Luigi: ..... Can't blink, or it'll eat me....
(After an intense moment, Pit leaves. However, what was said wasn't exactly private....)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Nearby... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Did you get all that?
Mewtwo: <Of course. I used my power to bend air and sound before, remember?>
Ganondorf: I do, I just wanted to be sure you didn't miss anything important.
Mewtwo: <Hm. I might have tuned out a bit of it, after listening to Luigi repeat himself, over and over.>
Ganondorf: What was he saying?
Mewtwo: <Can't blink, it'll eat me.>
Ganondorf: .... That's it?
Mewtwo: <Didn't you hear the screech, earlier? It was Ridley, again.>
Ganondorf: I thought I heard something out of the ordinary. I suppose he was trying to scare Luigi.
Mewtwo: <That's what I was thinking, and Peach too, apparently. Actually, there was something odd
about Pit.>
Ganondorf: There's something odd about everyone in this mansion.
Mewtwo: <Which is what makes this so odd. There was some sort of absence, within Pit. I can't describe
it, very well, other than saying that there's something missing, and that is what's odd.>
Ganondorf: Did he say anything in particular, to catch your attention?
Mewtwo: <He did, actually. He said that he couldn't spare any sympathy for Luigi, because he's out of
that.>
Ganondorf: Interesting...... So, you searched for any sympathetic feelings, after that?
Mewtwo: <Naturally.>
Ganondorf: Anything?
Mewtwo: <No, and I mean that, in the most literal way possible.>
Ganondorf: Wait.... Did you just say that Pit-
(Suddenly, life returns to Luigi. He jumps on top of the table, and stares and points a finger right at
Meta-Knight.)
Luigi: You're-a next! You're-a neeeext!!
(Just as suddenly as it started, it stops, again. Luigi collapses on top of the table, holding his head, and
shivering a little.)
Luigi: Can't blink, or it'll eat me.... Can't blink, or it'll eat me....
(Long. Tense. Silence.)
..........
(Then, Mario walks in, followed by Peach. Mario takes one look at Luigi, and with a saddened look on his
face, picks up his brother, and carries him out of the cafeteria, with Peach staying close beside them.)
..................
(Longer. Tenser. Silence. Samus and Snake are the first to get up, and leave. Slowly, without saying
anything, the others start to clean up. Everyone stops and turns when they hear something drop. Young
Link looks very red in the face, as he quickly retrieves the fork that fell and clattered loudly on the floor.)
(The silence is deafening.)
(It's late at night, but it seems like some people are still busy. For example...)
Snake: So, you had a bit of a break-down?
Samus: Yes. I don't know what happened, I think it's like everything just hit me at once. There's just- It
feels like I haven't yet had an easy day, you know? For everyone else, they can rest easy, but I don't have
that luxury. It's like I kept saying, it's just not fair.
(Snake holds Samus close, stroking her hair.)
Snake: I know, dear, I know. It's never fair to be asked to do everything, by yourself. But that's just it.
You are not alone, remember? You have me, for one, and we both know that almost everyone else is on
your side.
(Samus looks into Snake's eyes, for a long moment.)
Samus: Thank you.
Snake: Welcome. By the way, how come you didn't come to me earlier?
Samus: Oh, dear. I was hoping you wouldn't ask me that.
Snake: Why not?
Samus: Well- I just... It's complicated. It would take to long.
Snake: I got nothing but time.
Samus: (sigh) You're always there for me. I know that. But for how long?
Snake: You're being cryptic. Come on, what's the problem?
Samus: Well, I- Hey, you're being awfully blunt, you know. What's with that?
Snake: Samus, love, if you haven't noticed, a lot of the bad things that happen is because of someone
not telling the truth, right away. I apologize if I sound insensitive, but I'm just trying to get to the heart of
the problem, so we can fix it, sooner.
Samus: ..... Alright. I'm sorry for being suspicious. I didn't want to come to you, earlier, because I realized
how I mostly just use you.
Snake: Use me? How- Oh, wait, I don't think you need to explain, I get it. You think it's because you ask
me to do all these missions, for you, and I don't exactly get much, in return. Is that about right?
Samus: It frustrates me, but yes, that's pretty much it. If I do all that, and then come to you crying and
being all depressing- Snake, I was afraid you might...
Snake: Might, what? Love you less? Stop loving you, altogether?
Samus: ..... Uh-huh.
Snake: (sigh) Well, I suppose, since I said that thing about being honest, I should hold myself to that. I
think you might be right, a little. I don't know if I would have loved you less, but I certainly would have
been a little upset if you came to me just to cry.
(Samus starts to look incredulous, and starts to tear up.)
Snake: Truth be told, I was starting to tire of you always asking me to do these little missions.
(A little closer to tears...)
Snake: And all those nut-taps? That got old, before the first one. That has to stop.
(Closer....)
Snake: Don't even get me started on those little things you do, when you eat. It's not disgusting, just
annoying.
(Nearly there....)
Snake: Which is why I'm glad we're having this talk.
Samus: ...... What?
Snake: This. What we're doing, here. This is a talk, which, when we get through it, will make our bond
stronger.
(The tears start to fade.)
Samus: Really? I- had thought it was something else...
Snake: Did you think I was mad at you? How could I be mad?
(Tears fading more...)
Snake: After all, I'm a realistic kind of guy, and I know that we all have our emotional episodes.
(Tears are gone.)
Snake: The important thing to remember is that you never have to suffer alone. Okay?
Samus: (sniff) Thank you.
Snake: Welcome, again. Now, there's one last thing that I need to talk to you about.
Samus: What's that?
Snake: Remember how you would send me out on missions, and I wouldn't get anything in return? It's
time to collect.
Samus: What do you mean?
Snake: Honk.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere.... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Pit and Link are sitting next to each other, bedside to Zelda.)
............ (Silence.)
Pit: Link.
Link: Hm?
Pit: ..... I love Zelda.
Link: Mm. So do I, Pit.
Pit: How much?
Link: ..... I'm not sure. We have a different kind of connection, than you have with her. We're just
partners in an adventure, me protecting her, and her helping me protect her.
Pit: Is that so?
Link: Pretty much. But, you. You're connection with her is far deeper than anything I could have hoped
to achieve. Hell, I haven't even...
Pit: Haven't even what?
Link: ...... Pit, I've never loved anyone.
Pit: What? What about, I don't know, Saria? That Ruto girl? Don't you love them?
Link: I- I don't think that's the kind of relationship I have. It's the same with them, as it is with Zelda. I'm
the hero, and.... and nothing more.
Pit: You... want to love, but you don't think there's anyone you can love. Is that it?
Link: I don't know, man. I mean, yes. I mean-! Ah, dammit. I don't think there's anyone I can love, but I
don't think...
Pit: Take your time.
(A long moment passes.)
Link: I'm not sure if I want to love.
Pit: You don't want to love? What does that mean?
Link: Hell, even I don't have a clue. I'm not good at psychology, at all.
Pit: Mm. Maybe you should just talk with someone. It might help you understand your emotions.
Link: Heh. Maybe I could go drinking with Snake and Lu- Well, Snake, at least.
Pit: Hey, yeah, I heard he did something weird, after I left. Care to fill me in?
Link: Luigi? Yeah, he certainly scared us all. He was sitting there, looking out of his mind, when he
suddenly jumps on top of the table, points at Meta Knight, and yells that he's next.
Pit: Wow. I guess it was a little more than I thought.
Link: What's that?
Pit: Some of us think it's Ridley that scared him to pieces. I know I heard him screech around the time
Peac told me Luigi was driven insane.
Link: Huh. Poor guy, he really does get more crap than he deserves.
Pit: That he does, Link. That he does.
Link: That's probably why Doc hasn't been in here, lately. I'll bet Mario has been pressuring him to work
on Luigi.
Pit: Yeah, he might do that.
(They lapse into silence.)
..........
?: Hey, Pit.
(Link's head snaps up, and he looks around intently.)
Link: Who's there?
Pit: Relax, Link. He's helping me.
?: Pit's right, Link. Although, I have to talk to him about something. Do you think you could maybe leave
the room for a moment?
Link: .... Sorry, but I draw the line at being ordered around by a random voice. I'm sure you can talk with
Pit while I'm here.
Pit: Link, I apologize, but I think you should-

?: No.
Pit: .... No?
?: Perhaps it would be best if he stayed. Link, has Pit told you anything about me?
Link: No, he hasn't.

?: Then, here's the short of it. You can think of me as a kind of... private investigator. Right now, I'm
trying to find out what happened to Zelda, and more importantly, help her get better. In return, well, I
like to keep the bill for the end.
Pit: He tells me that he's got a big lead. Oh! I just remembered. Mario says that he's found someone
who knows who attacked Zelda.
?: . . . . What?
Pit: Yeah, it's just a matter of bringing justice to the fiend. Isn't that great? Now, I know this is your job,
but I figure if you get the identity of Zelda's attacker from Mario, you can find out what poison they
used, and maybe get an antidote. What do you think?
?: Mario..... Thank you, Pit. I'll... get right on that. Oh, and, Link?
Link: .... Yeah?
?: If you want to help out your friend, when the time comes when I give Pit the bill, you can help him pay
it. Just a suggestion.
Link: . . . Yeah. Sure, I'll think about it.
(Silence. Then, Link gets up.)
Link: Pit, I'm sorry, but I need a decent night's sleep. I'm going to my room, now, okay?
Pit: Sure thing.
(Link is just about to exit, when...)
Pit: Hey, Link?
Link: Yeah?
Pit: Do you-... Do you think I can trust this guy?
Link: You're mysterious voice friend? ...... Well, he's a very suspicious. Other than that, I don't know.
(Link steps out, closes the door, and heads to his room.)
Link: +My best friend is a moron. I need to talk with Samus, first thing in the morning.+
TD: If you tell him, I will beat you so hard, you're going to wish I was never created!
(Mario is laying on the floor, already bloodied and battered. Slowly, he gets up, and spits some blood
out of his mouth.)
Mario: I'm-a past that. Right now, I only wish that you would-a die.
(Mewtwo and Gardevoir are together, in their room.)
Mewtwo: <So, you're saying that if I'm not looking at something, the mere possibility of an object being
anywhere outside my field of vision means it is everywhere?>
Gardevoir: <That's right. The very simple truth is that reality is- Goodness!>
Mewtwo: <What is it? Did you feel something?>
Gardevoir: <I- I did. Oh my, I have heard about this. It's exactly the same as the others have described
it.>
Mewtwo: <Gardevoir, tell me what's going on. Are you alright? Are you hurt?>
Gardevoir: <No, Mewtwo, I'm fine. It's just...>
Mewtwo: <Please, tell me what's going on!>
Gardevoir: <Mewtwo..... I'm pregnant.>
(Breakfast time in the mansion. As usual, almost everyone gathered, but there is the noticeable absence
of Peach, Luigi, Zelda and Pit. Ganondorf is just sitting down at his usual table, across from Mewtwo.)
Ganondorf: Oh, goddess, this place is going, no, sprinting to hell.
(Ganondorf actually looks at Mewtwo, and sees that he looks kinduv like he'd just seen someone get hit
by a train.)
Ganondorf: Whoa. Mewtwo, no offense, but you look pretty awful. What's wrong?
Mewtwo: .....
Ganondorf: If you don't tell me, I'll make you so mad, you'll shout it for everyone to hear. Again.
Mewtwo: .... <Gardevoir's pregnant.>
(Silence.)
Ganondorf: Damn. Just.... damn.
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo sit and eat in absolute silence. However, eventually...)
Link: +Mewtwo? Mewtwo, can you hear me?+

Mewtwo: <Wuh? Link, is that you?>
Link: +You can hear me? Good. Do you remember how The Deity is recruiting others?+
Mewtwo: 
Link: +I think so. It's just... I don't really want to believe it, you know?+
Mewtwo: <Hang on, I'll get Ganondorf, Snake and Samus in on this. It'll be better if you only have to say
this once.> ...... <Can everyone hear me?>
Snake: +Mewtwo, next time you do that, could you give us a bit of warning?+
Samus: +Never mind that. What is it?+
Mewtwo: <Ask Link. He's the one with the information.>
Samus: +Link? You have something?+
Link: +Er, uh, yeah. Yes, I have something you all need to hear. You remember how The Deity is
gathering others to his side? I, um, found one of them.+
Ganondorf: +You seem to be uncertain. Is there a problem?+
Snake: +That doesn't matter, yet. Link, tell us who it is, and we'll go from there.+
Link: +Right. It's Pit.+
(There's a long pause between all of them.)
Snake: +Do you know how he did it? Pit certainly doesn't seem the type to align himself with... Did Vaati
say anything about how The Deity contacted him?+
Mewtwo: <He didn't. Did you see him, Link?>
Link: +There was nothing to see. There was only a voice. As for how, Pit told me The Deity came to him
as a kind of private detective, offering to find Zelda's attacker, and maybe an antidote for whatever put
her into that coma.+
Samus: +Pit never asked about a price, or anything?+
Link: +The Deity said that liked to keep the bill for the end. And, well, I think if I were in Pit's state, I'd be
willing to except any help from anyone, no matter the price.+
Samus: +Hm, I suppose we can't really blame Pit. He was pretty... depressed... Perhaps The Deity is
targeting those who are in a deep depression.+
Ganondorf: +That might not be entirely accurate. I don't think Vaati is the sort of character to be
depressed, and The Deity tried to recruit him. He might just be targeting anyone he feels can be
persuaded to his side, maybe with promises of whatever they need.+
Samus: +Right, right, good thinking. Link, is there anything else?+
Link: +Yeah, there is. I know that The Deity is evil, but Pit isn't. If we ever have to confront The Deity, as
well as whoever he's gathered... if we have to fight, at least let me handle Pit.+
Mewtwo: <You might not have that option, Link. Remember, you are a Giga-Smasher, and you'll have to
be ready to fight The Deity.>
Link: +I know that, but-+

Samus: +We understand, Link. If everything goes as planned, we won't have to fight any of our friends.+
Link: +Thank you.+
Samus: +Before Mewtwo cuts off the connection, does anyone else have anything they need to say?+
Ganondorf: +Mewtwo says Gardevoir's pregnant.+
(Mewtwo's eyes flash purple, and the apple he was floating in front of him explodes. )
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ About two hours later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(The children are sitting down in one of the training rooms, about to begin another lesson with Lucario.)
Ness: Hey, Link, how come Kirby isn't with us, today?
Y. Link: Dunno. But last night, he was lookin' kinda spaced-out. I wonder what's on his mind?
Popo: Do you think he knows something we don't?
Nana: Obviously. But why doesn't he tell us?
Poo: Who can say? I just wonder if he'll be okay. He knows we work better as a team.
Bowser Jr.: Who cares? If that pink blob doesn't want our help, then it's his fault if he gets hurt.
Ness: How come you're always so mean? You're not the best there is, you know.
Bowser Jr.: Aw, am I going a bit too far? If you try anything, I can get my dad to-
(A black paw lands on Bowser Jr.'s head. He looks up to see Lucario, right behind him.)
Lucario: <If you'll recall what I said two days ago, unnecessary violence only leads to unnecessary
anguish.>
(Lucario walks around Bowser Jr. to the front of the group. All the children settled down, and look at
Lucario.)
Bowser Jr. (under breath): I don't even know what that word means.
Lucario: <So, who can tell me what the lesson was, yesterday? Ness?>
Ness: Not everyone who looks friendly is a friend.
Lucario: <Good. Pikachu, can you expand on that?>
Y. Link: Ah, Lucario, sir, Kirby isn't here to translate for us.
Lucario: ... <Indeed. Does anyone know where he is?>
Nana: Uh-uh. He only said that he wouldn't be here, cuz he says he has something important to look
into.
Pikachu: Chu, pi, pikachu, chu.
Lucario: <No, he's not being selfish, at all. If there is something he thinks is more important that my
lessons, it is his right to attend to that. So, I will translate, in his place. Pikachu, please expand on
yesterday's lesson.>
Pikachu: Pika, pikachu pi, kachu pi. Chu pika, pikachu, pika, chu.
Lucario: <Very good. Pikachu said that even the kindest person, with the best intentions and an innocent
face, can still have the heart of a villain. Now, before we begin today's lesson, there's something else I
would like to say.>
(Lucario folds his paws behind him, and starts to pace back and forth, in front of the children.)
Lucario: <I would like to thank all of you for being strong, both physically, and mentally. There were
times when the lessons I taught are not normally taught to young ones, such as yourselves. However, I
know that all of you have gone through your own hardships, and you have endeavored. Survived. Some
of you have faced more than most adults, even. This is why I know you can handle what I say. What I'm
trying to say is, though I haven't known you for long, I am... proud... of all of you.>
(The children just look at each other, like they don't know how to handle this.)
Lucario: <So, now that I have that out of the way, I would like to begin the lesson...... What if a friend
turns out to be a foe?>
(Silence. They glance at each other, wondering what to do.)
Lucario: <It isn't rhetorical, I'm asking what if a friend has, in fact, been an enemy to you, all along.>
(A moment passes.)
Y. Link: What do you mean?
Lucario: <Of course, the question is vague, I apologize. Perhaps an example is needed.>
(Lucario continues with his lesson on treachery from a friend. About an hour later, he's winding down.)
Lucario: <This brings us to the end of our lesson, for today. Now, you might be asking yourself why I just
spent an hour instilling doubt of your friends, in all of you.>
(Lucario looks at the children before him with a particularly intense look.)
Lucario: <I am not a psychic type, like Mewtwo, but I can still get a sense of what will happen in the
future. There will come a time, not too long from now, when something very treacherous will happen. I
have only heard of what happened with Yoshi, in Mute City, but I think... this might be worse. I know
you all trust each other, and you should, but there are certain characters, within this mansion, that are
not as good and pure-hearted as you are.
(Again, the children look at each other, not sure how they should react.)
Lucario: <Our time is up. I would like everyone to be here, two days from now, at the same time.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake, Samus, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Geno, Mr. Game&Watch and Meta-Knight have all gathered in
Snake's ship.)
Geno: Why is Meta Knight here?
Mewtwo: <He says that he was contacted by The Deity, but he thinks the found out something that we
don't yet know.>
Geno: Alright, fine. So, why are the rest of us here?
Samus: Geno, you know the rules. +Unless you want him to hear us, stop talking and start thinking. As
for your question, you're here to translate for Game&Watch, who's going to help us make use of what
information Meta Knight has. That's why Ganondorf is also here.+
MK: +Thank you, all of you. But, before I say anything, I was wondering if I could hear what you know of
this being, so I know if I'm wasting your time or not. I believe you call him The Deity?+
Samus: +That's right, and that's a good point. You should know about The Deity, if he spoke to you.+
(So, they think all the things they know about The Deity.)
MK: +If what you say is true, then The Deity has a great amount of power. How can we hope to stand
against him?+
Mewtwo: <Fortunately, we do have a means to fight him. We have been given five extremely power
Super Smash coins. They will allow the users of these special coins to have strength like his, and most of
his powers will not effect them, at all.>
MK: +This is good to hear. Do they have a name?+
Snake: +We're calling these the Giga-Smash coins.+
MK: Giga-Smash?
Samus: +Meta Knight, don't slip. The Deity can see what's going on, anywhere on this planet, and
further.+
MK: +My apologies. Now that I know about The Deity, and how to defeat him, I can tell you what I
learned. You see, he has already gathered a few minions. One of them is Ridley.+
Samus: +What? He got to Ridley? I always thought Ridley would stay alone, no matter what.+
MK: +I guess he changed his mind, then. When The Deity talked to me, he seemed to be interrupted by
Ridley, because he suddenly started sounding annoyed, and was yelling at someone. It was right near
the end that I heard him say Ridley's name.+
Snake: +Interesting. I wonder who else The Deity could have brought over to side, besides Pit?+
MK: +Ah, yes, it is a tragic thing that Pit would fall for his manipulations.+
G&W: <Geno.>
Geno: +Hold on, guys, Game&Watch wants to say something.+
G&W: <I'm wondering if Meta-Knight agreed to work with The Deity.>
Geno: <Got it.> +Game&Watch wanted to know if you accepted The Deity's help.+
MK: +I did not accept. I only told him to give me time to think about it.+
Samus: +That's good, you said the right thing. This will change our game-plan, a little. For now, everyone
should go back to the mansion, to avoid having people wonder where we all disappeared to.+
(They all get up, and start filing out of Snake's ship. As Meta-Knight jumps off, he turns to Samus.)
MK: I apologize for not being more helpful.
TD: That's quite alright, Meta-Knight, I got what I need. ...... Of course, this means I no longer need you.
(The Deity paces in his chamber a little.)

TD: Hmmm.... Giga-Smash.....
(It's lunchtime, in the mansion, still only six days before Brawl. Peach, Luigi, Pit and Zelda are still
nowhere to be found. Fox enters, and takes his usual seat.)
Fox: Hey.
Falco: Hey.
Fox: Where's Meta-Knight?
EXE: Not here yet, I guess. He usually isn't the first one to get here, anyway.
Fox: No. I mean, I know that, I was wondering if anyone has seen him at all, since this morning?
(Silence.)
Fox: Nobody?
Sonic: Why do you ask? Do you think something might have happened to him?
Marth: (Japanese)
EXE: Ooh, yeah, that's right! Marth just mentioned Luigi's episode, yesterday.
Fox: Exactly. Luigi said that he's next, and we don't know what that means. I'm a little worried about
him.
Krystal: Worried about who now?
(Krystal takes her seat next to Sonic.)
Sonic: None of us have seen Meta-Knight, and we're worried because what Luigi said, yesterday.
Krystal: Meta-Knight? I saw him. He was walking with Samus, apparently going somewhere.
Falco: Is that so?
Fox: Walking with Samus? Hmm...
Krystal: Something on your mind, Fox?
Fox: Maybe.... Do you think something might be going on?
Roy: (much Japanese)
(Silence.)
Sonic: Mega Man?
EXE: .... Roy, that can't be right, it doesn't make sense.
Fox: What did he say?
EXE: It's nothing. Forget it.
Marth: (Japanese)
EXE: I still think it's wrong, and I stand behind my statement.
Fox: Wrong or not, tell me what he said!
(Silence. A few confused looks go to Fox.)
Fox: Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to raise my voice. Please tell me what Roy said.
EXE: .... Roy just thought that... maybe Samus is plotting something.
(A long moment passes between them. Sonic takes a big bite of his chili-dog.)
Sonic: You're right. That doesn't make sense, does it?
Fox: Mmm....
Krystal: Oh, come on, Fox. Are you actually considering it?
Fox: Hm? Uh, no. Well, yes, I thought about it, but not seriously.
Roy: (sheepish Japanese)
EXE: Yes, it does sound a little silly, when you really think about it.
MK: What's silly?
Krystal: Meta-Knight! You're later than usual.
MK: Training went a little longer than I thought.
(Meta-Knight hops into his chair, and notices a couple of them giving him odd looks.)
MK: What? Were some of you worried, or something?
Falco: Luigi did play the part of the soothsayer, yesterday. We were just worried that whatever he was
raving about would come true.
MK: I appreciate your concern, but I think I can handle a measly little bit of doom.
Krystal: So, you're not worried?
MK: I have yet to see a reason why.
Marth: (questioning Japanese)
EXE: Bass? He was asked to go to Mario's office. I can't imagine what it could be for.
Fox: So, Meta-Knight, I heard you were with Sa-

(Suddenly, the PA speakers click on.)
Mario: Good day, everyone. I have something I would like everyone to please gather in the Endless Field,
at one-thirty, today. Thank you.
(The PA clicks off. The room is a-buzz with excitement.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Another new-comer?
Mewtwo: <Doubtful. While it has been a while since one has been added, I think Mario is going to stick
with just setting the new-comers to wander in the halls, until they bump into someone.>
Ganondorf: True. What else is there, though?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
DK: {Maybe some kind of original concept.}
Diddy: {Like what?}
DK: {No clue. That's why I said it might me some kind of original concept.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wario: ........ +I wish I had someone to gossip with. This bites.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Just after lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Doc is in his office, right next to the infirmary. He's going through a few files, when Snake enters.)
Doc: Snake? What can I do for you?
Snake: It's about Luigi, Doc. None of us have heard anything about him, and I wanted to see if you would
be willing to tell me anything.
Doc: It's a good thing you came here, now, Snake. Yes, I am ready to release my diagnosis. Have a seat.
(Snake sits down, while Doc pulls out a file from a metal file-cabinet.)
Doc: Here we are. Let's-a take a look, then. From reports I received from another brawler, it seems that
at approximately ten minutes past-a ten, yesterday morning, Luigi suffered some-a severe psychological
trauma, when Ridley surprised and scared him.
Snake: Surprised and scared? That's a hell of an understatement, Doc.
Doc: That's-a just medical jargon for getting scared *&^%-less.
(Snake coughs, hard. Doc continues as if he said nothing out of the ordinary.)
Doc: As a result of this-a trauma, Luigi is-a now experiencing a form of paranoid psychosis. It means he
is-a now mildly afraid of his surroundings, presumably because of-a how Ridley jumped at him from out
of nowhere, and he might have episodes of incoherent babbling, or outbursts of raving.
Snake: Doc, I don't know if you heard this one already, but he already had an outburst of raving.
Doc: He did? What did he say? It could give us a clue how we can best treat him.
Snake: I heard he spent most of the time repeatedly mumbling something, but shortly before Mario
took him away, at lunch, he did something that doesn't quite sit well with me.
Doc: Interesting. Wait, let me get something to write this on.... Okay, go on.
Snake: It was pretty short, actually. All he did was jump on top of the table, point at Meta-Knight, and
shouted that he was next. Then he collapsed into a fetal position, and starting mumbling something. I
couldn't hear what it was, though.
Doc: He pointed at Meta-Knight? Very interesting, indeed. One moment... Okay. Thank you very much,
Snake. This should help me to determine a proper treatment.
Snake: It was no problem, Doc. I'll start telling the others this.
Doc: Thank you. But, if you don't mind-a me asking, why does it not sit well with you?
Snake: Hm? Well, nothing specific, really. Maybe just because it seemed a little specific, to be just a
regular psychotic episode, you know?
Doc: Mm, I see. That will help, as well.
Snake: Glad to be of help.
(Snake starts to get up, but hesitates, and sits back down.)
Snake: Ah, Doc? One last thing, about Luigi.

Doc: Hm? What is it?
Snake: You mentioned getting him the right treatment? Well, I think I might have it.
Doc: Do you? What is it?
Snake: Luigi always really liked jello-shots. And schnapps. Mentholmint, especially. He says it's good for
his breath.
Doc: You... want to get Luigi drunk?
Snake: It's just a suggestion. Me, Luigi and Wario are all drinking buddies, and I think it might help him if
he's in an environment he knows is safe, and always leads to good times.
Doc: You want to take Luigi to a bar, and get him drunk?
Snake: ..... Yes.
(Silence. Doc goes over a few notes in Luigi's file.)
Doc: ..... Not too much, got that? Don't-a destroy all his brain cells.
Snake: No more than usual, I promise.
Doc: Fine. Monitor him closely, though. Stay sober, if you have to.
Snake: No problem. Thanks again, Doc. I'm sure this will help him, plenty. Ah, where can I find greenie,
anyway?
Doc: Hm? Oh, take this note to Mario, later, and he'll get Luigi for you.
(Doc scribbles a note, and hands it to Snake. He leaves Doc's office, and heads to Wario's room to tell
him the plan.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at 1:30 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone has gathered in the Endless Field. Strangely, there are several characters there not normally
seen, such as King Dedede, Blaziken, Vaati, Ridley, and others. Mario is standing near the front of a
stage, a red curtain hanging right behind him.)
Mario: .... It looks like everyone is-a here. Today, I would like to officially announce something
completely new, for Brawl. Some of you might-a remember in-a Melee, at the end of the Adventure
gauntlet, you fought Giga-Bowser. Now, that has been taken a step further. I would like to introduce all
of you... (steps to the side) ... to your own personal bosses!
(With that, the curtains quickly pull aside, revealing a whole host of strange characters. The sheer
variety among them is stunning.)
Mario: Of course, this is only covers a few of you. Some of us have our personal bosses right here,
among us! Bowser and I are bosses to each other, as are Ganondorf and Link. Research is still being
done, to get the right boss, for the rest of you. I encourage you all to... hm?
(Many of the brawlers have suddenly become very, very tense, and it can be felt, in the air. Some of
them are looking downright upset.)
Mario: .... (sight) Any complaints can be submitted to me, personally, in my office. One at a time.
(Mario leaves, and so do a couple other brawlers. However, most of them stay, and most of those are
the ones with their personal bosses standing up on the stage.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: How sound-proof is this room?
Mario: Shout to your heart's content.
Samus: Thank you. (deep breath) WHAT THE *&^% WERE YOU THINKING!!? You brought that- that
THING- you brought it HERE!?
Mario: That's-a right.
Samus: ..... WHY!?
Mario: It.... seemed like a good idea at the time?
Samus: I- I just- You, and the... You *&^%-. . . . WHAT THE HELL!?
Mario: Are you about through?
Samus: Almost.
Mario: One more, and that's it. I can only guess how many others are out there, right now.
Samus: Oh, get comfy, Mario, because you're going to be there for a long, LONG time.
(Samus storms out, and slams the door. A second later, Geno walks in, and closes the door behind him.)
Geno: What the *&^% Mario? That's all I have to say. What the *&^%?
(Geno walks out.)
Mario: +It's-a gonna be a long day, isn't it?+

(After Mario has had several earfuls about the special bosses, Mario eventually made it known that they
would also be living on the Smash Planet, but in a separate mansion, except for the ones who are also
brawlers. Needless to say...)
Samus: This isn't good. I don't like this, at all.
Snake: Dare I ask why?
Samus: This offers opportunities for all sorts of suckiness.
Snake: Right, of course. How could I think it would be anything different.
Samus: .... Was that sarcasm?
Snake: Of course not. I would never think to belittle you in any way.
Samus: You'd better not. Anyway, what was it you wanted to talk to be about?
Snake: Ah, right, that. So, I told you how I asked Doc about Luigi, and he gave me his diagnosis.
Samus: Right, I already started circulating the news.
Snake: Thank you. Well, I kinda offered... a treatment... for Luigi.
Samus: .... What kind of treatment?
Snake: It's, um, the Dr. McGillicuddy's Treatment, for patients with psychosis brought on by.... trauma.
(Samus levels a penetrating gaze at Snake, with one eyebrow arched.)
Samus: Say, isn't Dr. McGillicuddy that guy that makes schnapps?
Snake: ..... Maybe?
Samus: You want to take Luigi DRINKING!?
Snake: Hold on, dear. I already checked it out with Doc, and he said it might be a good idea.
Samus: Snake, Luigi is severely messed up! He needs real treatment, not a shot of whiskey!
Snake: Jello-shot, actually. But, that's not the point. Think about it, for a minute. Luigi is going to be in an
environment that he knows will never try to scare him, and that might be what he needs, above all!
Besides, if nothing else, the liquor will probably reboot his brain, and isn't that what needs to be done
with any psychosis patient?
Samus: NO! It's a stupid idea, and I'm not going to let you go through with it!
(Samus resolutely turns her back on Snake. A second later, Samus feels a pair of arms slide around her
slender waist, and a hot breath on her neck.)
Snake: Are you sure about that?
(Snake holds his stubbled face right at the nape of Samus's neck, and starts kissing his way up, slowly.)
Samus: I'm... positive. My mind- It's made up
(Snake nibbles on Samus's earlobe, then whispers into her ear in a low, seductive tone.)
Snake: I think you're going to let me go.
Samus: No, I'm not. I already told you-

Snake: You're going to let me go, because I know what you're greatest weakness is...
Samus: What- what weakness could you have possibly found?
Snake: This Zero Suit that you wear... It's a lot thinner than you would have others believe. I know how
sensitive your body can be... especially when I touch you... like this.
(Without warning.... Snake starts to mercilessly tickle Samus! Samus yelps once, and tries desperately to
pry Snake's fingers off her writhing body. Snake finds a sweet spot, right on her belly, and it makes
Samus squeal.)
Samus: OH GOD STOP! Heeheeheehee- (short breath) STOP IT SNAKE! Ooh, hooohoohoo! (short breath)
Stopstopstopstop STOP! OKAY! I GIVE! JUST STOP!!
(Snake immediately lets got of Samus, but keeps her from collapsing to the floor. Slowly, Samus calms
down... gets a good breath, wipes away the tear... chuckles once more...)
Snake: Well? Can I take Luigi drinking? It's for his health, you realize.
Samus: ... Maybe.
(Snake holds up his fingers, like he was about to strike. Samus squeaks and shies away.)
Samus: FINE! Go, dammit, if it's really that important to you.
Snake: Thanks, babe. I love you.
Samus: (sigh) I love you to.
(Snake sweeps Samus into his arms, and kisses her deeply. They hold each other for what seem like an
eternity, before they have to break for air.)
Samus: Mmm. I really love you, now.

Snake: Damn straight.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf have just finished training, and are walking the halls.)
Ganondorf: There's one thing that still confuses me.
Mewtwo: <What's that?>
Ganondorf: ..... How does it happen?
Mewtwo: <No guessing. Get to the point.>
Ganondorf: I suppose. I ju- ... You know, you seem a little more irritable than usual. What's going on?
Mewtwo: <You mean besides the obvious?>
Ganondorf: You're stressed about being a father? Is that it?
Mewtwo: (sigh) <Somewhat. From what I understand, when a normal Pokemon has a child, they
instinctually know how to rear the child, whether they're male or female. I don't believe I have those
instincts.>
Ganondorf: So, what, you're worried that you won't be able to be the father-figure you feel you should
be?
Mewtwo: <That's part of it. Of course there's more, but I can only lose sleep over one at a time.>
Ganondorf: Mm. I won't try to comfort you, by saying you'll be a great father. In the Gerudo clan, well,
there aren't any fathers, at all. I'm the first male in decades, and I have yet to father any children.
Mewtwo: <You mean you're-?>
Ganondorf: NO! Er, no. I have a harem, of course, but none of them have bore me a child, yet.
Mewtwo: <Yet?>
Ganondorf: It's been a while since I was there. For all I know, one might have been born, by now.
Mewtwo: <Hm..... You had a question?>
Ganondorf: Yes, I did, and, since you want me to get right to the point, how will your child be born?
Mewtwo: <I'm afraid I still don't understand.>
Ganondorf: I can't make it any clearer than that.... unless... Mewtwo, do you know about the concept of
childbirth?
Mewtwo: .... 
Ganondorf: Oh, good LORD, Mewtwo. Go talk with Gardevoir, again. Now.
Mewtwo: .... <Fine.>
(Mewtwo floats away. Ganondorf just watches him go, shakes his head, and continues on his way.)
Ganondorf: +Moron. How could anyone not-+ What th- Who are you?
?: Hmm. You look like you know your way around here. Tell me, where might I find some good meat? A
turkey leg, perhaps, or something a little larger.
Ganondorf: ... +Why am I always stuck with the weird ones+ I asked you your name. Tell me, and I'll tell
you where you can get your food.
Simon: Of course, how rude of me. I am Simon Belmont, slayer of Dracula.
Ganondorf: ... Who's Dracula?
Simon: You do not know who Dracula is? Ah, of course, I understand. I am a brawler, from a different
universe. I understand you already have some, like me.
Ganondorf: That might explain it. Now, as for where you can get your meat....
(Marth and Roy turn a corner, and stop when they see Ganondorf and Simon.)
Ganondorf: Excellent! Get over here, you two!
Marth: (confused Japanese)
Roy: (more confused Japanese)
Ganondorf: Whatever. This is Simon Belmont. Simon, don't bother talking with them, they don't speak
our language. You two, take Simon to a place where he can get some meat. Alright? Good.
(Without waiting, Ganondorf hurries out of sight, leaving Marth, Roy and Simon in the middle of the
hall... staring at each other.)
Roy: .... (curious Japanese)
Simon: You heard the man. I'm hungry, and need meat.
Marth: (innuendo Japanese)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Simon: This is amazing! What manner of food do you call this?
Fox: It's just pizza, settle down. You'll get used to this, trust me.
Simon: Perhaps, but this is nothing like what I'm used to, at all.
Falco: What do you normally eat?
Simon: Sometimes I can buy something at shops, but I find most of my food just laying around.
Krystal: Laying around? What environment do you do your adventuring in?
Simon: Mostly old castles, sometimes outside, on random mountainsides, sometimes in sewers, it
varies. Why?
Krystal: And you eat that stuff?
Simon: Why wouldn't I?
(Krystal just makes a disgusted noise, and goes back to her pasta.)
Marth: (Japanese while eyeing Simon up and down.)
EXE: Dammit, no! Can't you keep it together for one consecutive day?!
Roy: (sheepish Japanese)
EXE: ..... That's it, I'm out of here.
(Mega Man leaves, but the rest go on, with Simon getting more and more excited, as he eats more.)
Simon: Ooh, what is-

Krystal: Simon!
Simon: Hmm?
Krystal: So, what is it you do, anyway?
Falco: Yes, on your world, what was it that made you a brawler?
Simon: Oh, I killed Dracula.
MK: Who's Dracula?
Simon: None of you know who Dracula is? Do you at least know what vampires are?
Marth: (questioning Japanese)

Fox: Is Dracula a vampire?
Simon: ... Maybe. Simon: Try the king of all the vampires.
Krystal: Cool. How'd you do it?
Simon: Why, with my trusty flame-whip, of course.
Falco: You... use a whip?
Simon: Yes. Is there something wrong with that?
Fox: It's... an unusual weapon, is all.
Krystal: So, you're a long-haired muscle-bound pretty-boy, you run around in leather, and you use a
whip?
Roy (to Marth): (hopeful Japanese)
Fox/Falco: NO!
(It is about an hour before dinner. Mario and Doc are sitting in Mario's office, discussing Zelda and Luigi.)
Mario: So, how is-a my brother?
Doc: Ah, it's-a hard to say.
Mario: Hm? How so?
Doc: After hearing the case for it, I decided to put-a Luigi on a, er, somewhat radical treatment.
Mario: How radical is it? Could it hurt Luigi?
Doc (under breath): No more than-a usual, I imagine.
Mario: What was that?
Doc: Ah! Sorry, just, uh, trying to remember the details. This-a treatment shouldn't cause any-a harm to
Luigi, but if it does, we'll take him off, immediately.
Mario: Well, I suppose if you think it'll-a help him.
Doc: Don't worry. If-a this works, we'll know.
Mario: That's-a good to hear. So, then, tell me about-a the treatment. How does it work, and why is it-a
radical?
Doc: Mm, erm, (cough) I would tell you, but, well, I'm afraid I don't have my notes with me.
Mario: Isn't there anything you can tell me?
Doc: I do know for sure that he'll either be cured, or stay the same. At the very least, we have nothing to
lose.
Mario: Hmm... Okie-dokie. Has he been started, yet?
Doc: Tonight, actually. Ah, I have enlisted Snake in this, since he has better resources than I do. He'll
come by to get Luigi.
Mario: Excellent. Now, moving right along...
Doc: Of course, Zelda.
(Doc goes through a file, then stops....)
Doc: I have good news and bad news.
Mario: Mama-mia... Alright, let's-a hear it.
Doc: The good news is that I have isolated and identified the poison used to put Zelda into her coma.
From that, I have found that an antidote exists.
Mario: That's-a good news, indeed. But this obviously means...
Doc: Exactly. The bad news is that, while I know what the antidote is, I don't-a know where to find it.
Mario: Of course. Can you make any guesses where it might be?
Doc: In this universe.
Mario: Oh, that's-a gonna help, a lot.
Doc: Don't worry, yet. You called me in here not long after I identified the antidote. After this, I will
contact some of-a my colleagues, in-a different parts of the universe. Since my network reaches most of
the corners, I think at least one person will have some idea where it can be found.
Mario: Good, good. Keep me posted, okay?
Doc: Of course.
(Doc gets up, gathers up his files, and heads for the door.)
Mario: Ah, before you go...
Doc: Hm?
Mario: Ah, no, it's-a nothing. Never mind.
(Doc looks at Mario for another second, shrugs, and heads out. As soon as the door closes, Mario thunks
his head on his desk.)
Mario: Damn it all. Zelda gets-a poisoned, my brother is insane, and now, I'm getting-a premonitions
about something terrible. Of course, I don't have to guess about that last one...
(Mario lifts his head, and spins his chair, until he is facing The Deity.)
Mario: ... do I?
TD: Now, now, father, there's no reason to be cross with me.
(Mario raises one bushy eyebrow.)
TD: ... Fine. No reason to be cross with me, about anything new.
Mario: I think what you have-a done in the past is enough, really. I can hate you, plenty, for that.
TD: ... Hm. Funny.
Mario: Are you here just to annoy me?
TD: Oh, no. Well, annoying you is reason enough, father, but I am here for something. You see...
(The Deity grasps Mario's chair with his long, thin fingers, and brings his face close to Mario's.)
TD: ... there is one more thing for you to do, yet, and trust me when I tell you this: If you deny me, it will
be the last thing you ever do.
(For the longest time, Mario stares into the cold, empty eyes of The Deity. Finally, an unseen message
passes between Mario and his creation.)
TD: Very good... I'm pleased that you know your place. Now, all you need to do is-
(Mario turns his head when there is suddenly a knock at the door. When Mario turns back, The Deity is
gone.)
TD: I'll speak with you, later, father.
(Mario pauses, and wipes the sweat that had broken out, on his forehead. He composes himself, and
turns towards the door.)
Mario: Enter.
(The door opens up, and Donkey Kong walks in.)
Mario: Donkey Kong? I'm a little surprised to see you here.

DK: {Hello, Mario. I'm afraid this isn't a social visit.}
Mario: No, I suppose it isn't. Is there-a something troubling you?
DK: {It's Yoshi, Mario. For some reason, for the past few days, he's been acting... Well, he's been acting
different, from what I think he's supposed to.}
Mario: Is that so? Do you think it's-a something that happens as they all grow? I know I don't know
much about Yozards, when they're still-a growing up.
DK: {Perhaps, but this is still worrying me. He's still very tiny, but he seems unusually aggressive.}
Mario: Aggressive? You don't think Yoshi has-a been eating any meat?
DK: {Already thought of that. I checked and double-checked everything I feed him. One-hundred percent
fruits and vegetables.}
Mario: Then, who else could be... I might have an idea what's-a going on.
DK: {You mean... Are you thinking that someone else is doing this, to Yoshi?}
Mario: Exactly.
DK: {But, that doesn't make sense, at all. The only other brawler besides me- Of course!}
Mario: Hm? You- think you know who is-a doing this?
DK: {It must be Diddy! He's the only other person, besides me, who is close to Yoshi.}
Mario: Oh, Diddy. Of course...
DK: {Mario? You sound like you thought it was someone else.}
Mario: No! No, I just- thought of... Luigi, for a second there.
DK: {Of course, I understand. I'm very sorry about him. How is your brother?}
Mario: Insane. But, Doc has a treatment he thinks might-a cure him.
DK: {That's good to hear. Well, it's getting close to dinner time. I'd better get back to our room, if I want
to tell Diddy about Yoshi. Thank you, Mario.}
Mario: Not a problem, Donkey Kong, I'm-a glad I could-a help.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Serenade: Aren't we early? There's no-one here, yet.

Geno: That's the point. Can you imagine walking in, and having every single brawler looking at you,
simultaneously?
Serenade: Well, if you didn't give me this body, they wouldn't be staring. Honestly, why did you make
me look like this?
Geno: Because this is what I think of, when I think of perfection.
Serenade: .... Fine, you're off the hook. This time.
Geno: +I'd better be off the hook. It took me an hour to memorize that line.+
Serenade: Geno?
Geno: Ah, sorry, just thinking about something. Anyway, you weren't here when Mewtwo introduced
Gardevoir to all of us. Every single eye was on her, and she blushed a shade of red I had never seen
anywhere, before. I don't want that, for you.
Serenade: So, instead of every eye, at once, we get spectators slowly?
Geno: .... Yes. Now, eat up, and let me do the talking.
Serenade: Good thinking. Oh, and thanks, for teaching me about, you know, all this stuff.
Geno: Hm? What stuff?
Serenade: I've never been in a real body, before. I wasn't used to the fine-muscle movements, and you
were patient with me, and taught-
Geno: Your welcome. Heads up, here comes the first few.
(The children enter, in their usual cluster. They slow down, when they see Serenade, but continue to
their table. Geno leans in close to Serenade.)
Geno: See? That wasn't so bad, was it?
Serenade: Are they still looking?
Geno: A couple of them.
Serenade: Which ones?
Geno: ... The one in the green tunic is Young Link, the one with the baseball cap is Ness, and the one in
the blue parka, Popo.
Serenade: Mm. Just as I thought.
Geno: Just as you thought? What do you mean?

Serenade: It's nothing, just a hunch. Here come a couple more. Who are they?
Geno: The one with the toga is Pit, and the one with the green tunic is Link, the future Young Link,
obviously.
(Link sees Serenade, elbows Pit, and jerks his head at her. They walk over, and take a seat across from
them.)
Link: Hey, Geno... Who's your friend?
Geno: I'm so glad you asked, Link. This is my, er, friend, Serenade. She is from Star Road, like me. She's
the one that told me about Yoshi.
Link: I see. So....
(Link makes some odd gestures. Serenade watches for a second, then giggles.)
Serenade: Geno, you do know what he's trying to say, right?
Geno: I do. I just don't feel like dignifying it with an answer.
(Link stops his gesturing, and blushes, a little. Pit pats his shoulder, they get up, and go to their table.)
Serenade: Okay, maybe I can handle this place, if more of your friends are as funny as he is.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Y. Link: Who is she?
Nana: Why don't you go ask?
Y. Link: Ah, no, that's fine.
Bowser Jr.: Why not? You don't want to know?
Y. Link: It's... not that. I just don't feel like... getting up, is all.
Pikachu: Pika, pikachu, pi, chu.
Nana: Kirby?
Kirby: (cough) Puyo, puyo puyo. Puyo.
Bowser Jr.: What's he saying?
Nana: What do you mean it doesn't translate?

Popo: It's alright, Nana, just let it go. If he says he doesn't understand, I believe him.
(All the boys, except Bowser Jr. and Pichu, glance at each other.)
Nana: Fine, whatever. I'll go ask.
(Nana hops off her seat, and goes over to Geno and Serenade. At the same time, Fox, Falco and Krystal,
who had just entered, decide to do the same. Serenade leans in close beside Geno.)
Serenade: It seems that I'm getting popular.
Geno: New faces are always a big deal, around here. It's something that comes with living under one
roof.
Falco: Who's this, Geno?
Nana: Yeah, the boys wanna know, for some reason.
Serenade: The boys? Why doesn't one of them ask?
Nana: Dunno. Young Link says he doesn't feel like standing up, though.
(Serenade glances at Young Link, and desperately tries to stifle the laughter.)
Geno: +Dammit.+ Her name is Serenade, and she's from Star Road, like I am.
Nana: Oh. How come she's laughing, but trying to hold it in?
(Serenade hides her face in Geno's cap, and waves hand at Nana.)
Serenade (muffled): It's nothing, dear. Run along, now.
Geno: +Maybe this was a bad idea.+
(Nana looks at Serenade with a weird look, but returns to the others. Fox and Falco, content with
learning Serenade's name, go to their table. Krystal, however, sticks around a little longer.)
Krystal: You're from Star Road? What are you doing here, then?
Serenade: Well, I was the one who told Geno about Yoshi, you see. After I told him, I asked him if I could
tag along, when he came back here.
Geno: And after I said no, she went from asking to nagging.
Serenade: It was whining, not nagging.
Krystal: So, what, you were bored?

Serenade: A little. Actually, I just needed a break from the job, you know? It's not all fun and games, in
Star Road. I was authorized for a vacation, I saw my opportunity, so, here I am.
Krystal: Interesting. So.... does that mean that isn't your natural form?
Serenade: Yup. I figured it would be better to have a physical form, for this, so I had Geno create this
doll for me.
Krystal: Really?
(Krystal raises an eyebrow, and looks at Geno with an odd look. Her tail starts twitching.)
Krystal: And how did you come up with this shape, Geno?
Geno: Well, I di-

Serenade: Geno says he just thought of perfection, and that's how he created this body.
Krystal: Is that so?
(Krystal's tail is twitching a little more. Pit walks by on his way to the buffet line, but stops behind
Krystal, and sniffs the air.)
Pit: Is that ozone I smell?
(Pit shakes his head, and walks away.)
Geno: +Okay, this was definitely a bad idea.+ Krystal, shouldn't you be getting something to eat?
Krystal: Hm? Oh, I guess you're right.
(Krystal stands up. She has a smile across her muzzle, but her eyes have a strange glint in them.)
Krystal: It was so nice meeting you, Serenade.
Serenade: Likewise, I'm sure.
(Krystal turns, and walks away, but there seems to be a strut in her gait.)
Serenade: I like her. She's nice.
Geno: +No matter how this ends, I just know I'm going to get hurt.+
(While most of the rest of the mansion has already gone to sleep, there is one trio still out... drinking, of
course.)
Snake: Don't get any ideas, fat-ass. The only reason you're here is because this is for Luigi's sake. I still
don't like what you did to Peach.
Wario: Oh, come on, be reasonable, put yourself in my shoes. I've lost almost every single bet I've made,
in the past six months. Suddenly, I hit the jackpot! Now, tell me, what would you have done, if it were
you?
Snake: Nice try, but you and I are different people. I would have done different, if I was in the same
situation.
Wario: Hmph. Well, whatever. Let's get this guy drunk, already.
(Snake takes a beer-bong, and stuffs the business end into Luigi's mouth. At the top, he pours in a
generous amount of mentholmint schnapps. After a moment with no reaction, Luigi starts swallowing.)
Wario: Well, that's a good start. Try something a little harder.
Snake: Right.
(Snake pours in a generous amount of vodka. Luigi swallows, and tears up a little.)
Snake: Another small step, or should we go right to the top?
Wario: Let's just go for it.
Snake: Hey, barkeep, give us the strongest drink in the house.
(The bartender gives Snake a strange look, then pulls out several bottles, and starts mixing. A minute
later, he hands Snake a tall glass of liquid.)
Snake: ..... Is that smoke?
Wario: Ooh, Industrial-Strength Rot-gut. If this doesn't do it, Luigi's gone.
(Snake hesitates, before slowly pouring the drink down the tube. Snake winces when he hears the
sizzling. Again, Luigi swallows. This time, however, when it's done, he starts shaking....)
Snake: ..... Wario, what's in this stuff?
Wario: Ah, it's something we don't talk about, around here. Health codes, and all that.
Snake: Uh... huh. Is this normal?
Wario: It's within normal parameters. This is something that happens to everyone who drinks this stuff.
We'll know if it had any real effect, any moment now.
(Almost as if on cue, Luigi reacts. He slaps both hands down on he bar, and starts whamming his head
against it. He then hops off his stool, hooks his thumbs in his overalls, and struts about, reciting "Mary
Had a Little Lamb".... and passes out.)
Snake: .... Is that it? Is that the reaction we were looking for?
Wario: That's it. Now, we just need to wake him up.
Snake: How do we do that?
(With a nasty grin, Wario gets out of his seat, approaches Luigi, and gives him a wet-willy. Luigi instantly
wakes up, jumps up, and punches Wario in the face.)
Snake: Yep, he's cured.
Luigi: Don't-a EVER do that again! I will cu- What's-a going on, here?
Snake: It's a long story, greenie. Come on, we have some jello-shots lined up for you.
(Luigi's face brightens, when he hears this.)
Luigi: Why, I do believe you just said the magic words!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Two hours later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Luigi: That.... BASHTURD!
Snake: You said it, greenie. Wait... who's a bastard?
Luigi: Rihhley! That big, scaly... bastard... he thinks he can juss go roun', scarin' peepul?
Snake: Oh, yeah, him. Hang on, he's makin' another pass.
(Just then, Wario comes rolling by, rolls on.... and out of sight.)
(Luigi and Snake both do a shot.)
Luigi: Whuzzat, eight?
Snake: Nine.
Luigi: I dohn-a rememmer him ever doin' that. How many hash'ee had?
Snake: Everything, I think. Anyway, back to what I was saying......
Luigi: Wuh-were-you saying?
Snake: Huh? Oh, yeah. Greenie, I gotta tell ya..... You know I, you know, love you, right? In the totally
hetero way, I mean.
Luigi: Yeahyeahyeah, whatever, get on with it!
Snake: Shut up! I'm the one telling the sto- Oh, here he comes, again!
(Wario comes by, and is cheered on by Snake and Luigi. Suddenly, Wario stops, uncurls...)
Snake: Dammit, Wario! I apoluhgizze, barkeep. But hey, he's still a valuable patron, right? Right? Ahhh,
you get it.
(Luigi and Snake take a shot.)
Luigi: Ten.
Snake: So anyway, I only tell you this, because I trust you, and I consider you a friend.
Luigi: An' cuz I'm-a noh gonna rememmer this, tomorrah.
Snake: Yeah, sure. Seriously, listen to me. I have to say this to someone -
Luigi: Then say it!
Snake: Shut up! Okay, here goes. So, about me an' Samus-
Luigi: High-five.
(High-five.)
Snake: Yeah, huh? But, she's, like... I dunno. I'm sure- No, I know I love her. She's just... Yeah, I love her,
but us, you know? I just think there might be a problem with us.
Luigi: Wah? You an' Samus, havin' prob'ems? Ah, man, you gotta be kiddin.
Snake: Nope. I think there's something wrong.
Luigi: Well, damn. ..... What is it?
Snake: Huh? Oh, right. She's just so... she been gettin' real emotional-like, lately. Iss juss not somethin'
I'm usse to. She always used to be solid as a rock, and-
Wario: LADY PROBLEMS!?
Snake: ‘K, ow, never do that again. Your breath stinks, too. Barkeep, something minty for my round
friend, here.
Wario: I can help, if you want.
Luigi: Get the hell of the bar, Wario. Iss prolly ‘bout to break, with you on it.
Wario: You're no fun.
(Wario attempts to make his way to a stool, misses, crashes on the floor, and starts snoring.)
Snake: Oop, he's down. Duhn't that mean we should go?
Luigi: One for the road?
Snake: ‘Course.
(Snake and Luigi take one more shot, and slowly get to a standing position. Carefully, so as not to fall,
Snake picks up Wario. They start staggering to the door.)
Luigi: Wait, wait, wait, wait.... weren't you telling me about... Oh! You were having problems with
Samus.
Snake: .... Nah.
Luigi: ....... You sure?
Snake: Well, not really, but something tellz me I shouln't make deci- deci- .... choices, when I'm drunk.
Luigi: I guess. ..... Thanks, for.... that thing.
Snake: Yeah. No problem.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The next morning, five days until Brawl ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Samus is sitting in Snake's room. The blinds are closed, and the room is dark. Samus is sitting in a chair,
and Snake is in his bed, with his pillow covering his face.)
Samus: Was it really necessary, to get Luigi drunk?
Snake: Was it really necessary, to wake me up at this hour?
Samus: Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Snake: Early to rise, and early to bed, makes anyone so boring, they might as well be dead.
(Samus barely stifles the giggle.)
Samus: Whatever, that's not the point.
Snake: (sigh) Samus, you just don't have the relationship with greenie, that I have. He's more than just a
drinking buddy, I consider him to be a close friend. I know him, and I knew that getting him hopelessly
hammered would bring him back.
Samus: Well.... Fine.
(Silence. Snake takes the pillow off his face, and squints at Samus.)
Snake: Fine?
(Samus raises both her eyebrows.)
Samus: Fine.
(Silence. Slowly, Snake gets to his feet, and clumps over to Samus. He claps his hands on her shoulders,
and brings his face real close to her's. Snake levels his gaze with Samus.)
Snake: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my being an ass, and I'm sorry for not saying I love you, enough.
Samus: You're still in trouble.
(Snake pulls away from Samus, and flings his arms out.)
Snake: For what!?
Samus: Well, if you don't know, then I won't tell you!
(Samus quickly stands up, and marches right out of Snake's room, slamming the door on the way out.
Snake rubs his head.)
Snake: FINE! Don't be surprised with this *&^% happens again!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, at breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Serenade: Why am I here, again?
Geno: Because you need to get used to everyone, here, and this is the best place to do that.
Serenade: No, I mean, what am I doing here, again?
Geno: ... Now I don't know what you mean.
Serenade: Well, everyone's just staring at me, and- (conspiratorial whisper) I don't think Krystal really
likes me.
Geno: Really? What makes you say that? +DUUUHHH!!!+
Serenade: Well, I've never had to think about it, really, but the way she's been talking to me... it's like
she can't stand my very existence.
Geno: Hmm. I see your point. I thought her speech seemed a little strained, now that you mention it.
Serenade: I'm starting to regret wanting to come here.
Geno: Well, I'm not. I... enjoy your company.
Serenade: Is that all?
Geno: Of course not, but you know what happens to me, when I start getting sentimental.
Serenade: Mm, I suppose so. There's no need to make a scene, right now.
(Just then, they notice Donkey Kong hulking towards them, carrying baby Yoshi.)
DK: {Your name is Serenade?}
Serenade: It is. You are Donkey Kong?
DK: {I am. I understand you come from Star Road, like Geno.}
Serenade: It's a little more complicated than that, but yes, that's correct.
DK: {Do you know who this is?}
Serenade: Oh, um... Yoshi?
DK: {Yes, it's Yoshi. I understand it was my wish, granted by one of you, that brought him back.}
Serenade: Also correct.
(Donkey Kong's voice starts quivering, just a little.)
DK: {Could you perhaps do a favor, for me? I would like you to give my thanks to whoever did that.}
Serenade: Well, I- . . . Yes. I will do that.
DK: {Thank you. Thank you, so much.}
(With that, Donkey Kong heads back to his table.)
Serenade: .... Okay, I take it back. I'm glad I came here.
(Just then, Geno and Serenade notice that most of the brawlers are looking at them.)
Serenade: ..... THIS AIN'T THEATER, YOU KNOW!
(Everyone quietly goes back to their own lives.)
Geno: I am so proud of you.
(It's about an hour before lunch. Krystal is in her room, reading the book, "Improve Your Pool Game in
10 Easy Steps".)
Krystal: +What the hell? None of this is helping! Agh, what I wouldn't give for a distraction.....+
(Silence.)
Krystal: I said, what I wouldn't give for a distraction!
(Knocking at the door.)

Krystal: A little longer than I thought. Who is it?
Link: It's Link, Krystal.
Krystal: You can come in, but I'm naked, right now.
(Link enters anyway.)
Link: Yeah, I kinda had a feeling you were lying.
Krystal: Would you have disappointed if you were wrong?
Link: Probably not.
(Krystal and Link embrace, and kiss for a moment.)
Krystal: I thought you said-
Link: Shh. That was a remnant from my memory loss. Seriously, though, I came here to talk with you
about something.
Krystal: Right, of course you did. Have a seat.
Link: Thank you.
(Link sits down in a chair, and Krystal sits at the edge of her bed, cross-legged, tail swishing behind her.
Link: It's about Serenade-

Krystal: Geno's girlfriend? You know she's with Geno, right?
Link: . . . .
Krystal: .... What?
Link: If you would let me finish, I was about to say that it's about Serenade, and you.
Krystal: Serenade and I? I haven't done anything wrong.
(Link gives Krystal a flat stare. Eventually, Krystal's ears droop, her tail stops moving, and she looks at the
floor.)
Krystal: Fine, I get it. I'm being...
Link: Unreasonable?
Krystal: ... Yes. I suppose that's as good a word as any.

Link: Would you care to explain, or should I guess?
Krystal: Come on, Link, you know I'm not good at this psychology stuff! How am I supposed to know
exactly why I do everything I do?
Link: (sigh) You have a point. I apologize for pressuring you. But you have to do something about those
feelings you're having, whatever they may be.
Krystal: Like what?
(Silence.)
Krystal: . . . . Link?
Link: Hm? Sorry, I was just thinking about something else. Look, if I were you, the next time you feel the
urge to dislike Serenade, just concentrate on something else, and remember that she has done nothing
to deserve your ire. I'm sure that, eventually, you'll find yourself not thinking like that, at all.
Krystal: Thank you, Link. I'll try.
Link: Always glad to help a friend.
(Link gets up to leave, but Krystal stands up as well, and steps close to Link.)
Krystal: But, before you go... do you think you could maybe do just one little thing, for me?
(Krystal's eyes start smoldering, and the tip of her tail is twitching, very quickly.)
Link: (gulp) What is it?
Krystal: . . . . Could you teach me to play pool, like you?
Link: +Damn.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at lunchtime~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Peach is sitting at her usual table, looking bored, picking at her food. Suddenly, Luigi plunks down a
tray, and sits down across from her.)
Luigi: Hiya, princess!
Peach: LUIGI!!
(Peach jumps up, and hugs Luigi.... hard.)
Luigi (slightly strained): Princess-

Peach: It's such a relief to have you back!
Luigi (strained): Princess-
Peach: We were all so worried!
Luigi (very strained): Princess!!
Peach: Hmm?
Luigi (close to suffocation): air!
Peach: OH!
(Peach releases Luigi, who falls back in his chair, gasping.)
Peach: I'm so sorry, Luigi! I didn't know, you were just-

Luigi: Quite alright, princess. It's-a good to be back.
(Luigi looks around, and sees that everyone is looking at them. Peach goes absolutely red in the face,
and quickly sits down. Luigi is just wearing his usual dopey grin. Everyone slowly goes back to their own
lives.)
Peach: I really am happy to see you all better.
Luigi: Not entirely.
(Peach quickly shifts gears, and is worried again.)
Peach: What? Luigi, what's wrong? I-

Luigi: It's-a nothing new, princess. It's-a, er... side-effect, of-a my treatment.
Peach: I heard about it. Doc only said that it was very different. Can you tell me anything about it?
Luigi: Ah, let's just say it could only be done by Snake and Wario.
Peach: Snake and Wa- .... (whisper) You got drunk?
Luigi: Mm-hm! Snake's idea.
(Luigi sips his iced-tea, for a moment. Peach just smiles, and shakes her head, giggling a little.)
Luigi: Something funny?
Peach: I can't believe none of us thought of it, before! It's so obvious, it hurts! Let me guess, Industrial
Strength Rot-Gut?
Luigi: That's-a the stuff! Hey, wait, how do you know about it?
Peach: Oh, that? It's nothing.

Luigi: .... Princess, do you remember why you lost that bet, with Wario, in the first place?
Peach: Oh, fine! Not here, though. I'll tell you tonight, I promise.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, after lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It's about half-past one, and the children have once again gathered in a training room. Lucario stands
before them.)
Lucario: ..... <Good, everyone is here. Today, we are going to- Uh, Ness, you have a question?>
Ness: Master Lucario, sir, we were thinking about it, and we wanted to know about that premonition
you had.
Lucario: <Premonition? Which one?>
Ness: You said something treacherous would happen. Something worse than Yoshi.
Lucario: +Dammit. Why do they want to hear about this?+ <Yes, I must apologize, for that. It was little
more than a vague feeling, and I should not have worried you all, by telling you. I assure you, it is
nothing you need to know>
Bowser Jr.: Like heck! We're brawlers, too, and I think we need to hear things like this!
Pichu: Pichu, pi! Chu, pichu, pichu pi, chu, pichu!
(Lucario, Pikachu and Kirby all look at Pichu with very shocked looks.)
Pichu: .... Pichu?
Y. Link: Kirby, what'd he-

Lucario: <No! Ah, that doesn't need to be repeated. You are right, however. I have no right to tell you
about something terrible, then ask you to forget about it.>
(Lucario crosses his paws behind his back, and slowly paces in front of the children.)
Lucario: ...... <Unfortunately, there is not much more that I can tell you, beyond what you already know.
I was telling the truth, when I said it was vague. However.... I will start from the beginning. There were
no faces, at all, except one. A face I have not seen, around here, since I began.>
Bowser Jr.: Was it a really dark, greyish face, with shiny all-blue eyes?
Lucario: <No, it wasn't, it- Why do you ask?>
Bowser Jr.: No reason. Go on.

Lucario: ..... <As I said, only one face, but I did hear a few different voices. Unfortunately, before then, I
had not bothered to learn the individual voices of our fellow brawlers, so I am unable to identify these
voices.>
Nana: We might know. Tell us what the voices sound like.
Lucario: <Alas, I cannot. Not long after my vision, I forgot what they sounded like. What I can tell you,
however, is that there were five voices, and I believe one of them was female. No, wait.... I think one of
the voices was also the female voice. Separate, but as one.>
(Lucario looks at the children, and notices their confusion.)
Lucario: <Yes, it is just as confusing for me, as well. I have been thoroughly confounded by this, and
eventually decided to not think about that part. I suggest you do the same. ....... These voices... they
spoke of betrayal... for the sake of a plan. One that will unfold, soon enough.>
(Lucario stops, crosses his arms over his chest, and closes his eyes in concentration.)
Lucario: <One of them... it was the one that also was the female voice... it spoke of heartache, and much
emotional pain. Another one, some kind of beast, spoke of bloodshed, and pure, physical pain. The third
spoke of both bloodshed and heartache, but I could almost swear there was regret in his voice. The
fourth voice... it only spoke three words.>
(Lucario opens his eyes, and looks at the children with intensity in his eyes.)
Lucario: <It all ends.>
(It is approximately two hours before dinner time. Peach is sitting in Luigi's room. She seems remarkably
jovial.)
Luigi: You seem awfully happy, princess. Did something happen, while I was out?
Peach: It's nothing, Luigi, I'm just glad to see you're alright.
Luigi: Yeah, I can see that, for maybe the first couple hours. How do you explain now?
Peach: (sigh) I don't know... maybe I feel like I've been given a second chance, or something.
Luigi: Hunh? Care to explain?
Peach: I realized, a little too late, that I really have been a-... I've been rude to you, for the past few days.
You don't deserve to be treated like that. Then, when you were traumatized, like that, I felt awful,
because I feared I might not be able to make it up to you.
Luigi: Aw, you don't have-a to do that, princess! You realized your faults, and you're-a trying to correct
them, and that's all that-a matters.
(Peach closes her eyes for a few seconds, before standing up. She smooths the front of her dress, and
steps close to Luigi. She bends down.... and gives Luigi a kiss on the cheek. Just like Mario, Luigi's face
flushes, right around the mark left by her lips.)
Luigi: What was that for?
Peach: It was a promise. A promise to be kind to you, in the future.
(Peach takes her seat, again.)
Luigi: (cough) Erm, thank you, princess. But, I think you were about to tell me about...?
Peach: Yes, the Industrial Strength Rot-Gut.
(The smile fades from her face. Unconsciously, she smooths her gloves, and straightens her crown.)
Peach: Let me start by saying that... There was a time, before I became princess of the Mushroom
Kingdom. In that time... You know how the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom is selected, right?
Luigi: Ehhh... I think it has something to do with a series of tests.
Peach: That's right. The first of them involves finding the right face, since the job is actually mostly
diplomatic. To be honest, having a princess is mostly for show.
Luigi: Whah?! That can't-a be right, princess! You do plenty of important things, like... Well, there's-...
What about-?
Peach: Luigi, it's alright. I know what my duty is, and I have accepted it. That's actually part of the reason
why I chose to be part of Super Smash Brothers, to get away from all the boredom of what I do, as a
princess.
Luigi: And to stop Bowser from- Oh, right, Bowser.
Peach: (sigh) I suppose that will have to be a topic for some other night, Luigi. For now, can we stick to
the alcohol?
Luigi: Alcohol? Hang on, princess, are you saying-

Peach: I had a problem, once. A long time ago, but it's still a permanent part of my history.
Luigi: Princess.... You?
(Peach hesitates. After a long moment, she does something surprising. She takes off her crown, then her
gloves, and carefully lays them on the floor, beside her.)
TD: I promise, too. Not that it matters.

MK: This is how you pass your time? Spying on the others?
TD: Boredom can make a person do strange things, Meta-Knight.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back in Luigi's room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Peach: Alright. (deep breath) When I was a young adult, in my later teenage years, I was decidedly un-
princess-like. I hadn't given a thought to any part of my life, beyond partying. I would spend my time,
going to the shady parts of Mushroom Kingdom, and I would get... I would get drunk. Very, very drunk.
There were times when I...
(Peach suddenly goes quite red in the face. Luigi just sits, absolutely transfixed.)
Peach: ... when I would wake up, after a long, hard night of partying, next to... someone. Sometimes a
man, sometimes a woman... sometimes not human.
(Luigi's eye starts twitching.)
Peach: There was even a time when I learned, intimately, the shape of a mushroom person's-
(Peach's face turns so red, it threatens to spontaneously combust.)
Peach: It wasn't until years later, when something happened, that made me finally dry up.
(The twitch in Luigi's eye slows.)
Peach: It was the Industrial Strength Rot-Gut, Luigi. I drank... I'm a lightweight, you see, and that stuff... I
thought it was a normal amount, but I got so incredibly drunk, it was a wonder I didn't die, that night.
Sometimes, when I look back, I wish I had. When I woke up, the next night- Yes, I had slept through the
entire day. When I woke up, I was in a bed, in a territory I was unfamiliar with. What was worse, I was in
bed... with a Yozard...
(The twitch speeds up.)
Peach: ... and a Goomba next to my mouth...
(Luigi's other eye starts twitching, alternating with his other eye.)
Peach: ... and a Dry Bones...
(Luigi's mustache seems to be curling.)
Peach: ... was still inside me.
Luigi: Excuse me, one moment.
(Luigi gets off his bed, where he had been sitting, heads into the attached bathroom, and shuts and locks
the door. A moment later, retching sounds can be heard. It goes on for a minute, then silence, then a
faucet, then sounds of gargling. A few moments later, Luigi opens the door, wiping his mouth. He sits on
his bed, again.)
Peach: Better?
Luigi: Was that the worst part?
Peach: Yes.
Luigi: Please, go on.
Peach: After I pulled it out...
(Luigi swallows, hard.)
Peach: ... I took a look around me, and realized that what I was doing - the drinking, the partying, the-
You get the idea. I realized it wasn't working. I eventually found my way back to Mushroom Kingdom, to
find that they were about to start the selection process for the next princess. I cleaned myself up, as
best as I could, and a week later, presented myself, along with all the other hopefuls. The rest, I
suppose, is history.
(Peach looks at Luigi, to signify she has finished her story. Luigi, however, only continues to stare at the
floor.)
Peach: .... Luigi?
Luigi: . . . . . I... ask for-a why you know a certain type of-a liquor... and I hear all-a that...
Peach: Luigi, I felt that it wouldn't be good enough to tell you part of the story. It would leave too many
unanswered questions. Questions that you would want answered, anyway.
Luigi: . . . Maybe.
Peach: (sigh) I told you, before I started, that I was going to tell the whole disgusting story, and I meant
it.
(Luigi shakes his head once, takes a breath, and looks at Peach.)
Peach: So... what do you think?
Luigi: .... What do I think? What do I THINK!? I'm-a thinking WHAT THE HELL!!?
Peach: (sigh) I suppose I should have expected that. Luigi, I want to take some time.
(Peach reaches for her gloves and crown, and stands up.)
Peach: Take some time, and think. Whenever you're ready, come to my room, and tell me your opinion
of me. I was straight with you, and I expect the same from you.
(Peach places her crown on her head, and slides her gloves back on her hands. She flexes her fingers a
few times, to get them back in place, and leaves Luigi's room.)
MK: ..... Damn.
TD: Indeed. I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant, but that was... strangely erotic.
(Somehow, Meta-Knight manages to look incredibly weirded out by The Deity, who sees his reaction.)
TD: What? Oh, right, the sick, perverted thing. Hey, if you can think of anything hotter than that princess
gettin' her freak on with completely non-human creatures, I invite you to tell me. Actually, maybe if it
were Zelda, or Samus. OOH! How about that saucy Pokemon, Gardevoir?! Or all of them?
(Extremely. Awkward. Silence. Meta-Knight backs up... slowly...)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, after dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno is in the 2D realm, with Mr. Game&Watch.)
G&W: So... I noticed you brought in a new friend, recently.
Geno: Serenade? She's great. Have I mentioned that she's the one who granted the wish for Yoshi to be
reborn?
G&W: Is that so? Well, at least she has that going for her.
(Pause.)
Geno: What does that mean?
G&W: Settle down, Geno. I'm only saying that I don't know anything about Serenade, but if she's the
one responsible for Yoshi, then she's alright, by my book.
Geno: Didn't I just tell you she's great?
(Somehow, Mr. Game&Watch manages to look like someone who has just raised an eyebrow.)
G&W: Do I detect hostility? Geno, I don't think you're thinking too clearly.
(For a moment, Geno looks like he is about to say something, but then relaxes.)
Geno: Yes, you're right. I suppose I was expecting negativity, and put myself in defensive mode. I almost
lost my temper, and that wasn't something I should have done.
G&W: .... There seems to be a lot of that, lately.

Geno: What's that?
G&W: People looking like they're going to be unreasonably upset, then suddenly changing their mind,
like they just skipped straight to the resolution of the argument.
Geno: You know, now that you mention it, you're right. I wonder why that is.
G&W: Bad writing.
Geno: Hm? Sorry, didn't quite catch that.
G&W: I said, it's bad tidings. You've been feeling it, too, I'm sure. Something bad is going to happen.
Geno: Well, of course, something bad is going to happen. We know that, for a fact.
G&W: Yes, but... ah, you're probably right.
Geno: Mm. So, you said you had a reason for bringing me in here. Care to tell me what it is?
G&W: Ah, yes, of course. It's um.... it's a little complicated, I think.
Geno: What is it? Something involving- something big?
G&W: No. No, it's nothing dire. It's just.... I'm... (mumble mumble mumble)
Geno: What's that? I don't speak mumble.
G&W: I'm.... lonely.
(Pause.)
Geno: .... Ah.
G&W: Yes. Ah, what am I saying? This makes no sense.
Geno: No, no, I think I understand. I can only imagine what it can feel like, to not feel any
companionship.
G&W: Exactly. Fourty some-odd years of almost complete solitude, and suddenly, I find myself among
others. It was a little daunting, I'll admit, but I grew to enjoy just being near others for, well, the first
time, ever.
Geno: Mm. Then I come along, and you find someone you can actually communicate with, and suddenly,
you find yourself hungry for anything social.
G&W: Pretty much. It's all still fairly new to me. I don't know how I should feel, or what I should do,
about these... feelings.
Geno: I see. Well, ah, why don't we go into the 3D realm, and... you know, I just realized that I've never
played air-hockey. Probably because I never had anyone to play against.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Insert very, very angry beeping here.)
Geno: Interesting. I never knew I was any good at this.
G&W: <Oh, COME ON! This table is rigged, I know it!>
Geno: nnnnNope. Everything seems fine.
(A little more angry beeping.)
Geno: That's a new word. What does it mean?
G&W: Beep.
Geno: ...... For a guy who speaks in beeps, you have a filthy mouth.
(Luigi's eyelids wobble, as if they were about start twitching.)
Peach: For some reason, though, instead of being upset about it, I realized... I really loved him. I love
Bowser. When I told him-
(Peach blushes again.)
Peach: You could say it was even better, than the first time.
(Twitch.)
Peach: I suppose that's where I should stop. Of course, there are certain complications that come from
being princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, and loving the king of the Koopas. We talked it over, shortly
after, and decided that it might be best for us to keep up the charade, for the sake of our two kingdoms.
Luigi: Yeah? What about Mario and me?
Peach: (sigh) I admit, I hadn't thought much about him, at first. We only considered our love, and our
kingdoms. It wasn't until somewhat later, when I realized that we were doing some horrible things to
you two, by faking the abductions. I really have to apologize about that, but I didn't know what else to
do. Anyway, this was all about seven years ago. I recently talked with Mario, and he says he's perfectly
okay with going along with Bowser's and my little act.
Luigi: Oh yeah... I think Snake said-a something about how Mario really enjoys beating up Bowser.
Peach: Hm. That would explain why Bowser always looks so messed up..... he really enjoys it?
Luigi: Snake says Mario had an evil grin, when he said it.
Peach: Yeah, that would definitely do it, then. So, Luigi.... have I satisfied your curiosity?
Luigi: ..... Yes. I believe that's all I need-a to know. Thank you for telling me, Peach.
Peach: Of course. To be honest, it really helps me to be able to tell my story. It sucks, carrying around
secrets. I advise you don't do so, Luigi.
Luigi: I'll remember that, Peach.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere within the mansion ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
TD: That's it!? That was nothing! I can't work with any of that! ..... Just one little obscene sex scene,
that's all. Maybe an orgy, or something!
(The Deity looks around.)
TD: (sigh) It's just not the same, when there's nobody backing away from me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(It's getting close to lunchtime, in the mansion. Samus is in her room, reading, fuming. She becomes
more agitated as she reads, before she finally throws her book down, and starts walking around her
room, looking through her things.)
Samus: +Where is it? Where are they?+
(Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. However, Samus ignores it, and keeps searching.)
Snake: Samus, I know you're in there. Open up.
Samus: +Where the hell are they?+
Snake: We need to talk about what happened, this morning. I don't know why you're upset, but I do
know that I don't want to lose you over something I at least don't know about. Open up, and let me in.
Samus: +I know they're in here, somewhere.+
Snake: Okay, if that's the way you want it. I'm picking the lock, and coming in.
Samus: Wait, Snake. I- I need just a little more time. If you come back after lunch, I promise, we'll talk
then.
Snake: ...... Alright. Just because I love you, I'll wait, just a little bit longer.
(Snake walk away. Inside, Samus stands still, a confused expression on her face.)
Samus: ... +I could use his help, after all. I might as well go get something to eat.+
(Suddenly, Samus blinks a few times, and shakes her head. She looks around, and puts a hand against
her forehead.)
Samus: I... must have stood up too fast. Oh, is that the time? I should get down to the cafeteria.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Lunchtime. As usual, the sociable brawlers have gathered in the cafeteria.)
Ganondorf: Has it sunk in, yet?
Mewtwo: <Yes. I talked with Gardevoir, and she has explained the rest to me. I confess, it took me by
surprise, and... disgusting me, just a little. However, it is natural, so I really have no choice but to accept
it. I love her, and I must stay with her, no matter- ... no matter how much it sickens me.>
Ganondorf: And you washed all the egg out?
Mewtwo: <Again, eat me, oaf.>
Ganondorf: It's your fault, really. You're the one who keeps holding food with your psychic powers. I'm
sure if you just used your, er, finger... things... you wouldn't have that problem.
Mewtwo: ..... <Nah. I like it better like this. Anyway... Ganondorf? Wait, this looks like... oh, dammit.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Somewhere... ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: What the-? You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say I was in the Sacred Realm.
(Ganondorf hears a short thhp sound, and spins around to see Link.)
Link: Ganondorf!? Where the hell are we?
Ganondorf: Link. Then, if you are here, then that means... Okay, you may speak now.
Din: Are you not going to help ease the mind of my sister's avatar?
Ganondorf: Why should I? He's funny like this.
Link: Ganondorf, what the hell is going on? Who is talking to you?
Farore: Link, though you have never heard my voice before, I think you should be able to recognize it.
(For a moment, Link's eyes go wide, then seem to glaze over. He falls to his knees, among the seemingly
infinite white-space, and can only try to blink back the tears.)
Link: Fa- Fa-... Farore?
Din: Interesting. You seem to have much more of an impact on your avatar than I on mine.
Farore: My presence has a different effect than your's, sister.
Ganondorf: That, and Link's a little wussy. Hang on.
(Ganondorf slaps Link on the back of his head, then hauls him to his feet.)
Ganondorf: Pay attention, Link. The only reason they would have called us here is because something
bad is going to happen. (turns to Din) Let me guess. It's Zelda, isn't it?
Link: Zelda? What's happening to her?
Farore: My sister's avatar is correct. Your Zelda is in grave danger, much as you were, not too long ago.
However, she is not why we have called you here.
Link: Farore, please, just- You don't even have to tell me what's going on, just tell me how to save her.
Farore: Your Zelda is not-

Link: TELL ME!
(Ganondorf claps his hand over Link's mouth, and squeezes.)
Ganondorf: Even I am not dumb enough to interrupt one of the three Goddesses.
(Ganondorf gives Link a little shove, and lets go. Link only stares, bewildered, between Ganondorf and
Farore.)
Ganondorf: Alright, Din, lay it on me. Why are we here, now?
Din: You know of the cataclysm which will occur, yes?
Ganondorf: I know that general bad stuff is going to happen. I don't know if I would call it a cataclysm,
though.
Din: It is worse than you think. Pain and suffering is unavoidable. Death is unavoidable.
Ganondorf: Naturally. When do you get to the part with The Deity?
Din: .... He is no deity, I can tell you that.
Ganondorf: We know that, it's just what we call him.
Farore: You do not know his true name?

(Ganondorf and Link are taken aback. Part of it is because Farore spoke directly to Ganondorf. For a
moment, Ganondorf is speechless.)
Din: Be grateful, Ganondorf. It is rare to get be spoken to by one Goddess, but to feel the full impact of
the voice of my sister is truly another.
Link: .... Um, are you maybe going to tell us his true name?
Farore: Sister, they do not have long.
Din: Indeed. Harken unto me, and know what you must do. Ganondorf, your first priority will be to
recover what you call the Giga-Smash coin.
Ganondorf: Are you going to clue me in to anything else? Like, why I would need to worry about them?
Din: I cannot. However, it has been deemed necessary, and when the time comes, you will feel my
strength, and it will help you in your task.
Ganondorf: Understood.
Farore: Link, though you don't know it, your friend is going to play a larger role than you think.
Link: Pit? Will I have to... fight him?
Farore: It will come to pass, that you must do something that takes a different kind of courage. As it is
with my sister, and her avatar, I will give you the courage needed, and you will know what you must do.
Link: I- ... Understood.
Din: We have spoken, and it is now in your hands. Know, however, that we have faith in you, and your
victory.
Farore: Now, go.
(There is a flash from the two Goddesses, and Link and Ganondorf find themselves in the cafeteria,
again. Ganondorf grabs Wario, who had given him a wet-willy, and throws him clear across the room.
Ganondorf looks over to see Luigi, on the floor, holding himself. Link is apologizing profusely.)
Mewtwo: <Now, or a little later?>
Ganondorf: +Definitely should wait.+
(Ganondorf catches Link's eye, and an unspoken message passes between them. They then go back to
eating, as if nothing had ever happened.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Shortly after lunch, Link, Ganondorf, Geno, Mr. Game&Watch, Mewtwo and Gardevoir have all
gathered in a large room in Ganondorf's tower. Link and Ganondorf had just finished telling everyone
about their vision.)
Geno: +Interesting... Link, your task seems clear. Pit is going to be an obstacle, and you're the one who
gets in his way. What interests me is Ganondorf's task. It seems that they know something that we
don't. Ganondorf, do you think it could mean you are meant to protect the Giga-Smash coins?+
Ganondorf: +I had thought about it, but it doesn't quite fit. If I was meant to be the one to hold onto
them, I probably would have been told, much earlier. No, it's definitely something different.+
(Mewtwo looks at Gardevoir, and notices the thoughtful look on her face.)
Mewtwo: <Something on your mind?>
(Gardevoir looks at Mewtwo, starts to speak, but then notices that the others have all turned their
attention to her.)
Gardevoir: <It's... nothing, I'm sure.>
Mewtwo: <Dear, nothing is just nothing. Tell us.>
Gardevoir: .... 
Geno: +Now that you mention it, something strange was going on, between those two.+
Link: +Hey, yeah, they were sitting at different tables, weren't they?+
Geno: +Samus sat with Serenade and I. She told us it was because she wanted to get to know the rest of
the brawlers, but I don't buy it. Something must be going on, between them.+
Gardevoir: <Oh, perhaps that is it. Right now, the may not wish to be near each other.>
Geno: +My thoughts, precisely. Anyway, I told Samus she should be here, but she insisted that she had
something more important to do. I asked Snake, and, well, his excuse was just lame. The same thing,
more or less.
Ganondorf: +Tuh. If they think their falling-out is more important than this, then so be it. Now, can
anyone guess what it is I'm supposed to do?+
(Mental silence.)
Geno: +Clearly, this is something that will make itself obvious, in time.+
Mewtwo: <It seems that way. There is nothing we can do, at this moment. Moving right along, there's
the matter of The Deity's true name.>
Geno: +Right. One moment.+ <Mr. Game&Watch, you know The Deity better than any of us. Do you
know anything about this?>
G&W: .... 
Geno: +He says he-+

G&W: <However...>
Geno: +Hang on.+ <Game&Watch, what is it?>
G&W: .... 
Geno: <Why not? What do you mean, out loud?>
G&W: <The name of The Deity gives him a certain amount of power. Thinking it allows him to see what
you are thinking about, for a brief moment. Saying it allows him to see where you are, and hear what
you're saying, no matter where you are. This may even extend into an entirely different plane of
existence, like the 2D realm.>
Geno: .... Huh.
(Geno repeats this to everyone. Everyone takes a moment to let this sink in.)
Link: +It makes sense, I think. When I asked... when I asked the Goddesses if they would tell us his name,
I was ignored. Perhaps they knew about The Deity could do that.+
Mewtwo: <They were probably thinking his name. How do we know he didn't respond to that?>
Ganondorf: +We don't know that. If they were able to freely think about it, I would guess it's only
because they are true deities, whereas THE Deity is just a super-powered being, with god-like powers.+
(Mental silence.)
Mewtwo: <Is that everything?>
Link: +I think so. Ganondorf?+
(Ganondorf closes his eyes, and tilts his head back. A couple seconds later, he nods his head.)
Mewtwo: <So... where do we go from here?>
Geno: +I think that now, all we can do is prepare ourselves, using this new information. Essentially,
we're waiting.+
Link: +Then we're done here?+
Geno: +Yes, I believe we are.+

Ganondorf: Good. Get the hell out of my tower.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake is standing outside Samus's room.)
Snake: Alright, Samus, I'm here. Open up.
(Silence.)
Snake: This is the exact same as before. Don't make me repeat myself.
(Samus's muffled voice comes through the door.)
Samus: What happened to common courtesy?
Snake: What? What are you- ...... Samus, may I please come in, to talk with you?
(A second later, the door opens. Snake steps in, to see that part of the room had been trashed.)
Snake: Woah. What happened here?
Samus: I'm glad you're here, Snake. I need your help.
Snake: Um, well, okay, but I really came here to talk about what happened, this morning.
Samus: Sure, sure. Give me a hand, will ya?
(Confused, and a little surprised, Snake starts searching through the nearest thing, Samus's dresser.)
Snake: So, obviously, you were upset about something. I know you didn't want to tell me, earlier, but I
was hoping you could tell me, now. I can understand if you want to split up, about something, but I feel I
have the right to know what this is about.
(Snake stops rummaging for a second, and glances at Samus.)
Snake: Samus? I need you to say something, here.
Samus: Hm? Well, uh, I would like to hear why you think I'm upset.
Snake: Uh... why?
Samus: Because I just want to know if you know, okay? Please?
(Snake thinks for a moment, then shrugs, and turns his attention back to the dresser.)
Snake: Well, you're not really giving me much to go on. My first guess is that it has something to do with
the drinking. Am I getting warm?
Samus: Maybe. Why don't you explore that possibility?
Snake: Dear, I don't see-

Samus: Even if it isn't the reason I'm mad at you, don't you think you can benefit from finding fault in
what you do?
Snake: I, uh- Huh. I never really thought about it like that, before. Alright. Um, are you going to stop me
if I guess right?
Samus: Probably not. Look at this as an opportunity to really think about everything.
Snake: Mm, I see. Well, right away, there's the fact that it's drinking, period. I've heard about
relationships being ruined, simply because the guy considers alcohol a form of relaxation. In my case,
however, I use it as a way to be social with friends, in ways I'm not, normally. Besides our, er,
adventures, with the others, I don't really talk to others. I mean, today, I told people I was apart from
you, only because we thought it was a good idea to get to know the others.
Samus: That's good. Good excuse.
(Snake pulls open another drawer, and goes all bug-eyed at what he sees. With a quick glance at Samus,
to make sure she isn't looking, Snake pulls out a pair of incredibly erotic panties, out of the whole pile.)
Samus: Snake?
(Surprised, Snake fumbles with the lingerie, and stuffs it back in the drawer.)
Snake: So, like I was saying, I'm not normally a sociable guy, but when I'm drinking, it's different. I talk
mostly with Luigi, and we laugh at Wario, who is incredibly funny when he's drunk- One time, we got
him to do the Mexican Hat Dance. He was so-
Samus: Snake.
Snake: Hm? Oh, right. Anyway, there have been times when I'll meet a stranger who is as drunk as I am.
Normally, I wouldn't have even given him a first glance. When I'm drunk, though, this stranger is as
much a friend as Luigi or Wario, if only for a few minutes.
(Snake pulls out a thong, and quickly wipes away the drool. With another quick glance at Samus, he
stuffs the tiny bit of apparel into one of the myriad pockets that is part of his gear.)
Snake: Anyway, do you understand what I'm saying?
Samus: Yes, I do. Where the hell did I put that?
(Snake pulls out the first pair of lingerie, and quickly stuffs it next to the thong. He then stops, with a
puzzled look on his face. He turns to look at Samus.)
Snake: Just what are you looking for, anyway?

(Samus hesitates for a moment, and looks at Snake. For an instant, it almost looks like Samus is
confused, but she recovers.)
Samus: The, um... those coins. The. Coins.
Snake: The... OHH! You forgot where you put them?
Samus: Yes, that's it. I had... forgotten. I guess I panicked.
Snake: Well, you told me you put it in your walk-in closet, among the humongous clutter.
Samus: Oh, of course!
(Samus knocks the heel of her hand against her forehead. She walks over to the closet, and walks in.)
Snake: Samus?
Samus: I- I just want to see it, so I can be sure.
(Snake quietly pulls out another pair of panties. When he sees the zipper on the front of the otherwise
simple item, he mouths the words "Oh my god!" Grinning and wiping away the drool, Snake stuffs it
next to his other prizes. He then closes the drawer, and steps behind Samus.)
Samus: Are you sure?
Snake: Unless you moved it, and didn't tell me. Dear, you're acting strange. Are you feeling alright?
(But she doesn't respond. Samus walks in, critically eyeing the piles of stuff. She stops in front of one
pile, with an old shirt on top of it. Samus gets down on her knees, and starts digging through it. She
thrusts one hand amidst the pile, and stops, her eyes going wide. Slowly, she pulls out the simple
leather-covered case, which contains the five precious Giga-Smash coins.)
Snake: .... Samus? Samus, you found it, now put it back, and talk to me.
(Still holding the case, Samus stands up, apparently enchanted by it. She blinks, and looks into Snake's
eyes.)
Samus: That's right.... I found it.
(Samus's eyes suddenly flash a brilliant silvery-blue, making Snake close and cover his eyes. When the
flash is gone, Snake opens his eyes... and sees that Samus has disappeared, with the case.)
Snake: ..... Samus? Samus?! SAAAMUUUSSSSS!!!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 15 minutes later, in the 2D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Alright, Snake, you gathered us all here, what's going on?
(Snake looks out over the assembled crowd, everyone who knows about The Deity, and the Giga-Smash
coins. Himself, Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Gardevoir, Geno, Mr. Game&Watch, Link, Bomberman, Serenade
and Peach.)
Snake: Wait.... where's Meta-Knight? He should be here, as well.
Mewtwo: 
Snake: Where did you look?
Mewtwo: <Everywhere. Every place where he could stand, on this entire planet.>
Snake: Dammit! He must have left, then. Does anyone know if he took his own ship?
(Silence.)
Snake: Fine. We'll be able to call him back, later. First, Game&Watch, how secure is this place?
G&W: Beep, beep.
Geno: He says this place is a different plane of existence. Getting here is more difficult that, say, trying
to punch through the walls between universes.
Snake: Is there any way you can make this place even more secure?
G&W: ..... Beep.
Geno: He has sealed off this realm as best as he can, short of completely destroying the portal. Mr.
Game&Watch is pretty much the only one who can reestablish the connection to the 3D world.
Peach: What? Snake, what's going on? Why are we here?
Snake: The Deity knows that we know of his existence.
(Collective gasp!)
Snake: Worse, he somehow found out about the Giga-Smash Emblems.
(Collective gasp again!.... except for Mewtwo.)
Mewtwo: 
Snake: How? Ooh, wait, I think I know.
Mewtwo: <Exactly. When we told Meta-Knight about the Giga-Smash Emblems, he accidentally
repeated it, out loud.>
Ganondorf: Accidentally? I'm not so sure about that.
Link: Are you suggesting that Meta-Knight...?
Ganondorf: I am.
Snake: That... DAMMIT! Game&Watch, give me something to pound my fist on!
(In an instant, there's a small table next to Snake. Snake slams his fist on the table, making it shudder
under the force.)
Snake: Much better. Meta-Knight didn't just get contacted by The Deity, he had already sided with him!
I'll bet he left, because he knew what was going to happen!
Link: Hold on, Snake, we don't know that.
BM: No, it makes sense. You guys said that The Deity will target someone when they're in need of
something, or at their weakest. Do you remember when he shut himself in his room, for more than a
day?
Peach: Meta-Knight must have been so upset!
Ganondorf: No sympathy!
(Several of them jump, and look at Ganondorf with wide eyes.)
Ganondorf: It doesn't matter how Meta-Knight was feeling. All that matters is that he decided to work
with The Deity, knowing full well that he was evil. He does not deserve any pity, or mercy.
Peach: How could he know that? From what Link said about Pit, Meta-Knight might have genuinely
believed that The Deity was good.
Link: Not Meta-Knight, Peach. He's a seasoned warrior, and would know, just by looking at him, that's
he's evil.
Snake: Fine, yes, we know that Meta-Knight joined The Deity of his own volition. That has been well
determined.
BM: So, what now?
Snake: Now..... our original plan is gone. We've been put on the defensive, but there are still a few
things we have against him. Besides those he's already persuaded to join him, we have the rest of the
brawlers, to back us up. Also, we probably still know more about him than he thinks we do.
Geno: That's all well and good, but he still holds all the cards.
Ganondorf: Maybe not.... Time. We have that card.

BM: Say what now?
Ganondorf: The Deity has a schedule to keep. We don't. We can attack we we're ready, but he has to
wait until Brawl.
Gardevoir: <Did we ever find out what happens, when Brawl begins?>
Mewtwo: <Hopefully, we won't have to find out.>
Snake: Good point, Mewtwo. Everyone, our mission is to finish this, once and for all, before the first day
of Brawl. That gives us three days to think of a good plan, or at least prepare ourselves for one hell of a
battle.
BM: Fantastic. What do we do?
(All eyes turn to Snake. Snake fidgets a little, cracks his knuckles, twitches his head.)
Snake: I'm.... give me a minute. Game&Watch, a chair, please.
(Mr. Game&Watch creates a chair, which Snake sits in. A couple seconds later, he makes chairs for
everyone else. There they all sit, thinking.)
(Time passes.)
G&W: Beep.
Snake: Game&Watch?
Geno: That's right. Time travels slower, here, than in the 3D world, but they're still connected. According
to Game&Watch, it's been... how long?
G&W: Beep.
Geno: One hour in here, two hours, out there.
(Another moment of silence.....)
Peach: What about the others?
Snake: What about them?
Peach: We can stay here for a while, thinking, but everyone is going to be wondering where we
disappeared to, so suddenly. Eventually, we're going to have to go back.
Link: Right... do you think... we should tell them?
Snake: Tell them? About The Deity?

Link: I would think we have to. We can't really have some epic battle, under their noses. I think they
deserve to know the story.
Peach: I agree. If nothing else, well, I'm sure they'll be able to help us retrieve the Giga-Smash Emblems.
Snake: (sigh) I don't like it, but you're right. It's probably for the best.
BM: Ah, that's all well and good, but there are some things to think about. When, where and how. That
is, when do we tell everyone, where should we do it, and how do we break it to them? I think a few of
them aren't going to take it as well as we did.
Peach: There's a little more to it than that, I'm afraid. There's also how much we should tell.
Mewtwo: <Why not tell them everything?>
Ganondorf: It would take too long. I think The Deity would suspect something, if we all gathered
everyone, all of a sudden, and started talking about him. We're going to have to keep it as brief as
possible, and only tell them what they need to know. If we stress the importance of time, and promise
to give them the rest of the story, later, they should do as we say.
Snake: I see.... Very well. We should take a little more time, and think about that it. You heard
Bomberman, When, where, and the two how's.
(They sit in silence.)
(The Deity has only just now broken the lock, and takes out a Giga-Smash Emblem.)
TD: Magnificient... There's a tremendous amount of power, within this little coin. Enough to... Well, if
they think it's going to be their savior, they're sorely mistaken, because I'm going to break all of them,
right now.
(With that, The Deity holds the coin between thumbs and forefingers, and snaps-... snaps it-... tries to
snap it.)
TD: Confounded thing! Break, damn you!
(He holds the coin different ways, strains in different ways, and eventually slams it against a table, and
pounding on it. However, he pounds so hard, the table breaks in half... but the Giga-Smash Emblem
remains.)
TD: Hmm... This good be a problem.
Ridley: hhWhy not try to use sssomething other than mhmusscle?
TD: Eh? Oh! I see what you mean. Alright.

(The Deity concentrates... the Giga-Smash Emblem rises from among the splintered pieces of the table,
and hovers in front of him. With a series of twitches with his hands, the little coin twitches with him, but
it does not even bend. Finally, The Deity raises his left hand - the hand of destruction - and bends all his
will through it, at the coin.)
TD: If this doesn't do it... I will be so peeved.
(For a few seconds, nothing happens. A sweat breaks out across the cold, smooth forehead of The Deity.
Then, the coin hovering in mid-air shudders... and slowly starts to bend... but does not break. Mentally
exhausted, The Deity drops his left hand, defeated. The Giga-Smash Emblem immediately snaps back to
shape, looking for all the world like new.)
TD: ...... (deep breath) F-!
(The expletive resounds through the room, singing Ridley's hide, and setting fire to the broken table.)
TD: Oh well. At least I have this lovely bargaining chip. Would you like to see her, Ridley?
(Without waiting, The Deity snaps his fingers. A wall behind them seems to fade away, and reveals a
barred cell. Samus lays on the cold stone floor, unconscious.)
(It's dinnertime, in the mansion. Everyone has gathered, as usual, including those involved in the plans
against The Deity. Everyone, that is, except Snake.)
Krystal: Does anyone know where he is?
(A general negative.)
Krystal: Of course. For that matter, where's Samus?
EXE: Do you think they're trying to patch things up?
Falco: I wouldn't be entirely surprised if they did. Around here, people don't stay mad, for too long.
Fox: Hmph.
Marth: (curious Japanese at Fox)
EXE: (Japanese at Marth)
Roy: (Japanese at EXE)
Krystal: What's going on?
Falco: I thought we agreed to never try to find out.
EXE: Sorry. Marth had a question, I was trying to make sure I had it clear, before I translated it.
Krystal: Well? What did he say?
EXE: Fox, Marth wanted to know why your mood always seems to darken, when we talk about Samus.
Fox: What? I don't do that.
(Sonic catches Krystal's eye, and winks.)
Sonic: I don't know why anyone would think badly of her. She's a nice person, and a great leader. I like
her, personally.
Krystal: Uh, yeah, me too! I think she's doing a great job. Don't you think so, Fox?
Fox: You think she's doing a great job? You know how good a leader I am, Falco, Krystal. Do you think
she's better than me?
(In the split-second when Fox is focused on Falco, Krystal winks at Falco.)
Falco: Well, er, Fox... I think you're a very good leader.
Krystal: It's just that Samus is doing so well, in Mario's place.
(Fox glances back and forth between the two, and quietly picks at his food. Even at first glance, it's
obvious that he's sulking.)
EXE: {Do you think this could mean something?}
Roy: {Who can tell, around here?}
Marth: {One instant, there's something going on, and the next, it's resolved. Most conflicts don't last
more than two or three days.}
Falco: Now what are you hiding from us?
EXE: This one you don't want to know about?
(Simon stuffs a large hunk of steak in his mouth, and speaks around it.)
Simon: Hey, how come you guys keep saying that we don't want to know what they're saying?
Fox/Falco: You don't wanna-

Krystal: No, you guys. We should tell them. It's not like we can shield them from it, forever.
EXE: Are you sure? It's not like there's any real need to, is there?
Sonic: I gotta agree with Simon. I'm feeling like you're leaving me out of some inside joke.
(EXE glances at Marth and Roy, then at Krystal, Fox and Falco. Finally, Krystal rolls her eyes.)
Krystal: Fine. On your own heads be it. But we wait until after dinner.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Geno, as usual, is sitting with Serenade. However, unusually, Mr. Game&Watch is also with them.)
Serenade: <Why is he with us?>
Geno: <Because he's my friend, and I feel like having him around.>
Serenade: <He can't even talk with you.>
Geno: <Of course I can. It's just a different kind of telepathy.>
G&W: <Is she uncomfortable with me, here?>
Geno: <A little. You're a new face, to her. She'll get used to you.>
G&W: <That's good to hear. I saw Link and Roy playing a game, with sticks and balls. Do you think we
could do that?>
Geno: Serenade.
Serenade: Hmm?
Geno: Game&Watch and I are playing pool, a little later. Just to let you know.
Serenade: What am I supposed to do?
Geno: Um, well... Why don't you try getting friendly with some of the other brawlers?
Serenade: Get friendly? What's that supposed to mean?
G&W: <Is that naivete, or is she getting testy?>
Geno: You know, get chummy. If you're going to be here, for a while, you should get to
know the others. That's what Snake and Samus were doing earlier, remember?
Serenade: I thought they were have relationship issues. (eyes go wide) Geno, are you saying what I think
you're saying?
G&W: <She's a real winner, isn't she?>
Geno: <Shut up!> Of course not! Serenade, do you honestly believe that I could ever stop loving you?
(Serenade's lips twitch. A smile slowly comes to her face, and she puts one arm around Geno, and holds
him close.)
Serenade: No.... No, I suppose I don't.
G&W: <Nice one. That stopped her yapping... for now.>
Geno: <What's with you, Game&Watch?>
G&W: 
Geno: <Shut up.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
DK: {Do you get the feeling that we're only here because someone is just wasting time?}
Diddy: ..... {Have you been eating special bananas, DK?}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Luigi: How did you know alcohol would cure me, anyway?
Wario: Oh, we didn't really know, we just wanted to pour harmful chemicals down your throat, because
it seemed like a good idea.
Peach: ..... Why are you here? I hate you. You're a horrid, round little slob of a man.
Wario (under breath): Your farts don't exactly smell like roses, you prissy-
Peach: What was that?
Wario: Nothing! I was thanking you for the compliment.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: +So, what are you going to do with Gardevoir?+
Mewtwo: <What do you mean?>
Ganondorf: +Well, there's something big coming up, and she's pregnant, so....+
Mewtwo: <Ah.> ...... <She's very strong, and her pregnancy has not affected that. I am not worried about
her.>
Ganondorf: +That's all well and good, but what about the child? Gardevoir might not be hurt, but your
child might be.+
Mewtwo: <That's... a good point. I must speak with her, about that.>
(Ganondorf sucks down some steaming hot soup.)

Mewtwo: ..... (cough) <Speaking of...>
Ganondorf: Hm?
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: Again? Mewtwo, we both know how this ends. I say something, and you make something
explode. As a matter of fact, I believe I already said this, before.
Mewtwo: <No, no, there will be none of that, this time. I'll tell you, just... a bit later.>
Ganondorf: When, later?
Mewtwo: <Well, um... Let's see what Snake comes up with.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Snake has just entered Mario's office.)
Mario: Snake, good to see you, again! I heard your-a treatment worked just-a fine, for-a Luigi. I'm-a so
thankful that you helped my brother. Is-a there any way I can repay you?
Snake: Actually... +there is something.+
Mario: ..... Well? You sound like you had-a something.
Snake: +Nice try, Mario, but I know what's going on, and what you're capable of. I'm sure telepathy is
just one ability, among many.+
Mario: ..... <What do you know, and what do you want to know?>
Snake: +That's better. Listen, I know about your creation. Rather, I should say that a few of us know.
From what I've heard, speaking his true name means bad things. For now, we just call him The Deity.+
(Mario leans back in his chair, his face turning pale.)
Mario: <What do you know!?>
Snake: +Quite a bit, Mario. Can he hear our thoughts?+
Mario: <He- he can't. That's-a one of the things I built into him. Snake, what's-a going on? How do you
know about him?>
Snake: +Mario, answer me this. Can The Deity hear anything in the 2D realm?+
Mario: <Dammit, Snake, tell me what I want to know!>

Snake: .... +Nice job, not shouting that. Alright, I'm going to give you the short, short version. I get the
sense that we're a little pressed for time. For whatever reason, you created The Deity, and for whatever
reason, he has a diabolical plan that culminates in some thing, the day Brawl begins. His powers are
pretty much the same as your's, except for a few fail-safes, and a few other little differences. How close
am I?+
Mario: .... <There are still a few things you don't-a know, but that's-a most of it. How long have you
known?>
Snake: +Ohhhh.... about two-ish weeks. Why?+
Mario: <Why have you come to me, now?>
Snake: +Of course. Another short, short version, then.+
(Quickly, Snake tells Mario about the Giga-Smash Emblems, the original plan, and then the theft of the
Emblems, and the abduction of Samus.)
Mario: ..... <Balls.>
Snake: +That's about the size of it. For all we know about The Deity, we still don't know everything.
That's where you come in. First, tell me if he can hear or see anything in the 2D realm.+
Mario: <Are you talking about Mr. Game&Watch's 2D room?>
Snake: +That's right.+
Mario: ..... <Close it off, well enough, and no.>
Snake: +Good. Excellent. That's what I wanted to hear.+
Mario: <Are-a you going to tell me the rest?>
(Snake glances at a clock.)
Snake: +I was a little late, getting here. I don't think I have enough time. As soon as I can, I'm going to
gather everyone who is united against The Deity in Game&Watch's room. I'll get you, and we'll keep
talking.+
(Snake is sitting in Mario's office, but they're sitting in silence. Something is off.)
Snake: ........ Does something seem strange to you?
Mario: Now that you mention it, yes.
Snake: What do you think it is?
Mario: I'm-a not sure. Something just feels.... out of-a place.
(Samus enters from off-screen.)
Samus: Hey guys, what's up?
Snake: We were just thinking something seemed weird.
(Only then does Snake see Samus.)
Snake: You were-! I thought The Deity had kidnapped you!
Samus: Well, he did.
Snake: How did you escape?! Did you get hold of a Giga-Smash Emblem? What happened?
Samus: Ohhh, I see what's going on. You didn't get the memo, did you?
Snake: Huh? What memo?
Samus: This is a non-canonical chapter in the story. It's a chapter that isn't part of the story-line.
Mario: Hmm, that would explain why everything felt out of-a place.
Snake: So.... what are we supposed to do?
Samus: Not sure. Come on, we're going to gather in the cafeteria, to figure something out.
(Samus, Snake and Mario troop down to the cafeteria. In there, it is filled like never before, with all the
brawlers currently on the roster.)
Vaati: This is absurd. The only reason I'm here is to witness the sheer idiocy that will inevitably occur.
Dedede: Yay! I have a line!
Kirby: Puyo.
Pikachu: You tell ‘em, Kirby!
Ness: Pikachu?! Since when could you talk?
Jigglypuff: This whole chapter is supposed to not make sense. See? There's Zelda, and she's supposed to
still be in that coma.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Geno: Hey, Game&Watch, there's something I've been wondering.
G&W: What's that?

Geno: I know that you can speak normally, out loud, in the 2D realm. How come you didn't do that,
when everyone was gathered in there?
G&W: I didn't really feel like letting people know that, about myself. Besides, if I did speak, my incredibly
sexy man-voice would have made all the ladies jump on my watch, if you know what I mean.
Geno: ..... No, actually, I don't know what you mean.
G&W: Oh, you know the saying. Once you go bla-
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Blaziken: Wasn't I going to be a semi-major character? I thought that was the intention.
Zelda: Who knows? Everyone knows the author makes it up as he goes. Hell, he practically brags about
it! I suppose that's why the plot is simpler than your average skank.
Blaziken: Hey, watch it! Do you want to invoke his wrath?
Zelda: Pff, what's he gonna do, kill me off? He would never do that, right?
(Silence.)
Zelda: Right?
(Crickets chirping.)
Zelda: What the-? Oooh, author, you're such an ass!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Krystal: So, how long until someone else gets killed off?
Falco: What makes you think someone's going to die?
Krystal: Well, it's almost the end of the season, which means it's time for a swell in the angst. Remember
when Yoshi died? The readers did not like that, much.
Baby Yoshi: Yeah, that did suck. A lot.
EXE: ....... Okay, talking aside, how could you possibly remember something from a past life?
Baby Yoshi: ........
(Baby Yoshi makes with the adorable bit, and all is forgotten. Forgotten, I say.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ganondorf: Is it just me, or is this a lame attempt to appease the readers, for being away for a while?
Mewtwo: <That's probably not too far from the truth, but it would be wise to not anger the author. I
hear he can be a huge ass.>
Ganondorf: I thought that was something else he was proud of. Hang on, how come you aren't talking
out loud, like Game&Watch?
Mewtwo: <Meh. Why should I?>
Ganondorf: ..... Point. So, how come Gardevoir isn't here?
Mewtwo: <Well, normally, all Gardevoir are very, very slender. Too slender to properly birth a Poke-egg.
So, when they get pregnant, their bodies go through certain... transformations. Both to help the birthing
process, and to help rearing the child, when they are a baby.>
Ganondorf: Ah, I see. So, what does she look like, now?
Mewtwo: <Hang on, I'm going to try sending you a mental image in the form of a URL.>
http://gardevoir-sex.ytmnd.com/
Ganondorf: ...... Huh. So, her br-

Mewtwo: <Nursing.>
Ganondorf: Right, right, of course. And the other curves-

Mewtwo: <Birthing process.>
Ganondorf: Alright, I can understand that, I suppose. Ah, how long does she stay like that?
Mewtwo: <About nine months, depending on when the child is weaned.>
Ganonodrf: Has she started lac-

Mewtwo: <Yes, she has.>
Ganondorf: How do you know?
(Mewtwo just smiles.)
Ganondorf: ..... Nice. Do you think this is something that'll wear off, once we get back to the story?
Mewtwo: 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Serenade: So, what happened to you being massively jealous of all the attention I was getting?
Krystal: I decided there was no good reason for me to be jealous of you. It was just a remnant of my
earlier, much freakier self.
Serenade: Uh-huh. And the real reason?
Krystal: The author got lazy, of course.
(Just then, The Deity heads toward them, holding a rum&coke, despite the fact that he has no mouth.)
TD: You know, with my powers, I can modify myself to fit your desires. I mean, I don't know if you
wanted to do anything, I just thought I would throw that out there.
(The Deity holds the glass up to where his mouth would be, and somehow makes a sipping noise, and
drinks his drink.)
Krystal: ...... You want this one?
Serenade: Do you?
Krystal: Yeah, I do.
TD: +Oh, yeah, gonna get lucky!+ I don't see why it can't be both of you lovely ladies.
Serenade: He has a point. On three?
Krystal: One... two... THREE!
(Serenade and Krystal simultaneously kick The Deity in the crotch. The Deity goes down.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: Okie-dokie, this is all well and-a fun, but this needs to stop.
Snake: How can we do that?
Samus: Why not ask the author to get on with the story?
Snake: What, just like that?
Samus: Do you have a better idea?
Snake: ...... How do we summon him?
Samus: Umm..... Hey, author!
Shryver: You called?

(Samus, Snake and Mario look behind them, very surprised, and see Shryver standing at the entrance to
the cafeteria. Every head turns to look upon the entity who decides their fates.)
Samus: ...... What's going on? Why haven't you written anything for three days, and what the hell is this
that we're doing, right now? While I'm at it, don't you normally have something to let the reader know
what new characters look like? How come you don't have one for yourself?
Shryver: Why should I give any kind of description? Surely, as long as I come up with good material,
that's all that matters. There's no need for the readers to know anything about what I look like.
Mario: Fine, fine. What about the rest of it?
Shryver: Well, the short version is this. I wanted to take a break from the All My Brawlers, because I
could feel my creativity slipping. I just couldn't half-ass it like I used to. I'm feeling better, now, and I
think I'll be able to continue the story, tomorrow.
Snake: And what of this chapter? Why did you do this?
Shryver: This is something that a lot of writers do. They'll have a bunch of angst, drama and general
suckiness, then suddenly, bust out something that significantly lightens the mood. Complete non-
sensical goodness. I think it's a good idea.
Snake: What if the readers don't like it?
Shryver: Ah, see, that's the beauty of making it all up! You get to care later!
Wario: Hey! Are any of the rest of us going to get any lines?
Marth: Yeah, Roy and I haven't even done our Japanese innuendo bit, yet!
MK: And where the hell am I, in the story? Did I secretly stay, or leave?
Luigi: Nobody knows what happened between me and The Deity! You have to do something about that!
Link: What's going on with the special bosses?! Did you just introduce them and forget about them, like
you always do?!
(A rabble is roused. Shryver looks at everyone for a few moments, then snaps his fingers. Even while
their mouths still move, no sound comes out. It only takes a few seconds before they stop trying to say
anything.)
Shryver: My story, my will, my way. Everyone get back in place, I'm going to be starting up the story
again, tomorrow. Get going.
(Shryver snaps his fingers again, returning everyone's voices, but no-one says anything. A moment later,
they start heading towards their designated places, for the next chapter. Mewtwo hangs back, though.)
Mewtwo: <Listen... Just between you and me... is Gardevoir going to go back to normal, at the start of
the next chapter?>
(Shryver gazes at Mewtwo, for a moment. Suddenly, he smiles, and claps a hand on Mewtwo's
shoulder.)
Shryver: <Enjoy.>
(Mewtwo's face lights up, and he heads out of the cafeteria, quickly. Shryver looks around the now-
empty cafeteria. Suddenly, Shrver looks at you, gives a salute, and disappears.)
(Everyone has gathered in Mr. Game&Watch's 2D realm, but this time, Mario has taken a seat among
them.)
Snake: Is everything set, Game&Watch?
(Game&Watch nods.)
Snake: Good. Alright, Mario, we don't have too much time. If we want to get a decent amount of sleep,
tonight, we're going to have to be out of here in about two hours. First, we should- Wait, Mewtwo,
where's Gardevoir?
Mewtwo: <She's undergone a transformation, as part of her pregnancy. We have agreed that we must
keep her away from anything too strenuous, for the time being.>
(Without looking at Mewtwo, Ganondorf raises a hand at him. Without looking at Ganondorf, Mewtwo
high-five's him.)
Snake: Very well. Mario, we have a few questions for you. Why did you create The Deity, in the first
place?
Mario: I created-
Link: Woah, woah, woah!
Snake: Link? Is something wrong?
Link: Shouldn't we be thinking about finding and destroying The Deity? Do we have to know any of this,
right now?
Peach: Link has a point, Snake. These are things that Mario can easily tell us, afterwards.
Snake: Mm, I see your point. Alright, then. Where should we start?
Ganondorf: I have one. How much did you tell Mario about the Giga-Smash Emblems?
Snake: Everything we know. Well, everything except who can use them.
Ganondorf: Good. Mario, can you hazard a guess as to how effective they'll be, against The Deity? What
exactly are they going to do?
Mario: From what Snake has-a told me, the Giga-Smash coins will endow the user with strength and-a
speed, equal to The Deity, but that's-a not all. Once the user absorbs the power of the Giga-Smash, they
will become immune to almost all of his abilities, until he can-a only effectively use purely physical
attacks, and a few special moves.
Ganondorf: ..... In short, he'll be exactly like just one of us?
Mario: That's-a right, or, at least, it's-a right in theory.
BM: Can you guess how long the effects of the Giga-Smash Emblem will last?
Mario: .... No, I cannot. It might be five minutes, maybe more, maybe less.
Snake: Can you tell us where The Deity is, right now?
Mario: He's..... inside the mansion.
Link: Inside?! What, is there some special room for him?
Mewtwo: <That cannot be the case. I have made sweeps of the whole mansion, and have not felt
anything to suggest a presence like The Deity.>
Mario: Actually, Link almost had it-a right. There is a space, within this mansion, that is-a completely
empty, and is-a surrounded completely by brick. It is-a very small, but only to those looking at it from
the outside, like you, Mewtwo. However, anyone who has-a access to it, like myself, The Deity, and his
minions, will find a very, very large room, easily the size of our Grand Hall. That is-a where The Deity
resides.
(For a moment, they can only let this new information sink in.)
Snake: So, how can we get in?
Mario: ..... I think I can help you, there. I can adjust the entrance mechanism so that just anybody can
get in. Hopefully, The Deity won't know there's a difference, and if he does, it-a won't be something he
would do, himself. He'll make me change it, and then, when his back is turned, I adjust it, again. Trust
me, you don't-a need to worry, when the time comes.
Snake: Excellent. Thank you, Mario. So, where is the entrance?
Mario: It is-a just opposite the door to the Endless Field. It looks like a plain brick wall, but that is just a
trick. Just walk through it, and you'll find yourself in his domain.
Link: His domain. That's very encouraging, Mario.

Mario: Oh, no, I only call it his-a domain because it's-a where he operates out of. It's-a really not
different from the rest of-a the mansion.
(There is a moment of silence. Mario looks among the others, waiting for another question.)
Peach: What about the question we had, earlier?
Snake: Which one was that?
Peach: The others. How much should we tell them, and all that.
Mario: Ah, if I may?
Snake: Of course, Mario.
Mario: I can call a meeting, and require for everyone to show up. That will ensure everyone is-a there,
and whether or not Meta-Knight is-a here, or not.
Snake: That's right. Did anyone see Meta-Knight, at all?
(They all look at each other, expecting the others to respond.)
Snake: Yeah, I expected as much. Continue, Mario.
Mario: Right. I call-a the meeting, and get everyone together. There, we tell them that a super-powerful
being is-a hiding within the mansion.
Link: Wait, hang on. What's to stop The Deity from using his powers on us, when we're all together?
Mario: He wouldn't. He knows I'm-a capable of protecting you all, if I need to.
BM: Wait... Mario, how strong are you? I'm hearing how you have close to true-deity status, but you're
more or less The Deity's whipping-boy, but you have the strength to stand up to him. What gives,
Mario? How come you can be so strong, yet so helpless against The Deity?
Snake: A good question, Bomberman, but one that will have to wait. For now, we-
Mario: No. There is-a no harm in answering that question, now.
Snake: Mario, are you sure? We're a little pressed for time, I think.
Mario: ..... Mr. Game&Watch, what time is it, outside?
G&W: Beep.
Mario: After nine. Snake, most of-a the brawlers are just turning in, so I don't-a think there will be a full-
scale invasion, tonight.
(Snake stands up and pounds his fist on the same table he pounded, earlier.)
Snake: DAMMIT, MARIO, HE-
(Snake suddenly stops. Tears just start to leak from the corners of his eyes.)
Snake: He has Samus, Mario. That bastard has her.
(Snake sinks into his seat, again, hiding his eyes with one hand. Mario gently pats his shoulder.)
Mario: I know, Snake, I know.
(Mario stands up, and looks everyone in the eyes.)
Mario: I suggest everyone go to sleep, now, in-a your own rooms. Be assured that I will be watching over
all of you. Get plenty of rest. This ends tomorrow.
(One by one, the get up, and head out of the 2D realm, Mario first. Snake is the last to stand up, and
leave, leaving Mr. Game&Watch alone.)
G&W: ...... Okay, seriously, this whole waiting for tomorrow shtick is getting old.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Outside, in the 3D realm ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the corridors, heading towards Mewtwo's room.)
Ganondorf: Soooo...... What's she like?
Mewtwo: <What are you talking about?>
Ganondorf: Gardevoir. You showed me a mental image of her, as she is, right now. What's it like?
Mewtwo: ..... <I'm not sure I should share this.>
Ganondorf: Nonsense. This is what friends do. You tell me about Gardevoir, I tell you about my massive
harem.
Mewtwo: <Perhaps. Very well. Gardevoir is..... very soft. She used to have be firm, most likely a
necessity, for battle, but now... It's unexpected, but not unpleasant.>
Ganondorf: And you say she's already... producing milk?
Mewtwo: <In the typical mammalian way, yes.>
Ganondorf: Interesting. I wonder what use that might have. How did you find out?
Mewtwo: ..... <During certain moments... she leaks, a little. I was curious, and asked her about it. When
she explained it, I asked if I might try it. I must say, I can understand why new-borns enjoy it so much.>
Ganondorf: Mmmm.....
Mewtwo: <Ganondorf?>
Ganondorf: Sorry, I was thinking of something else.
(They stop outside Mewtwo's room.)
Mewtwo: (sigh) <She's right inside here.>
Ganondorf: Mm. High-five.
(High-five. Mewtwo heads inside.)
Ganondorf: How does that guy get so lucky?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The next morning, three days until Brawl ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mewtwo wakes up bright and early, as usual. He yawns and stretches, but stops when he feels the end
of his tail poking something soft. With a grin, Mewtwo gently nudges the softness, then looks behind
him. As usual, he is greeted with the ever-reassuring sight of Gardevoir, curled up on her side of the bed,
still asleep. Slowly, Mewtwo levitates himself out of bed, so as not to disturb the covers. He softly pads
over to the large bay window, and opens the curtains, blinking in the light of the rising sun.)
Mewtwo: .... <Marvelous.>
(He then turns away, and looks upon the sleeping form of his love.)
Mewtwo: ..... <Magnificent.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: Morning, moron.
Mewtwo: <Greetings, you knob.>
Ganondorf: Knob? That's new. I like that.
Mewtwo: ..... <What is it you call it. Deja vu?>
Ganondorf: Eh? Now that you mention it, I think we have done this joke before.
Mewtwo: <What do you mean, joke?>
Ganondorf: Er, nothing, slip of the tongue. So, are you ready?
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: I hadn't noticed.
Mewtwo: 
Ganondorf: Simon? That pretty-boy new-comer?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Everyone at the Fox table is sitting in silence, just watching Simon. He stops in the middle of shoveling
flap-jacks in his mouth when he sees them.)
Simon: ..... Whut?
(A small piece of pancake flies out of his mouth as he talks.)
Krystal: ...... Do you normally eat that much?
Simon: Um, hang on. (chokes down his mouthful) What do you mean?
Krystal: Look at your plate. Do you think it's normal for a human to eat that much?
Simon: Uh, perhaps not, but I train hard, so it's fine.
(Simon spreads some butter on one pancake, rolls it up, and proceeds to shove it in his mouth.)
EXE: No, no, I don't think you train hard enough. Simon, you're eating more than you're burning off.
Simon: Thuh heck duz that mean?
(Simon uses a finger to push in the piece of pancake that is trying to get out.)
EXE: You know what? Nevermind. Go ahead.
(EXE exchanges a meaningful glance with Krystal.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
DK: {So, where is Samus, today?}
Snake: She fell ill, I'm afraid. Doc gave her some antibiotics, last night, and he says we'll know if it
worked by the middle of today. Anyway, how is it with you guys? I hardly know anyone around here.
DK: {We're fine, thanks for asking.}
Snake: That's great. Hey, why don't you tell me a little bit about yourselves?
Diddy: {Gee, there isn't a whole lot to say, is there, Donkey? We're just a couple of apes that try to live.}
DK: {That about sums it up, I think. We'll occasionally do something about King K. Rool, but other than
that, we do what comes naturally to us.}
Snake: K. Rool? Wait, is he your special boss?
Diddy: {Yup. A big, fat crocodile. He's actually kinda pathetic. I'm surprised he's being included.}
DK: {Remember, Diddy, when Brawl starts, the whole playing field is leveled. Why, I'll bet that you could
take down that Ridley brute just as well as the rest of us.}
Diddy: {Really?! Hoo hoo hoo, I'm liking this even more, all of a sudden.}
(Snake forces a grin on his face, and drinks.)
DK: {Snake? Are you alright? You seem a little strained, for some reason.}
Snake: It's nothing. If you'll excuse me, I have to check on Samus.
DK: {Of course, Sna-}
(But Snake has already stood up, and left.)
Diddy: {Hey, he didn't even throw away his stuff!}
Dk: {Diddy.... Let it go.}
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later, after breakfast ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo are walking the corridors of the mansion, as usual.)
Ganondorf: I just remembered, yesterday morning, at breakfast. You started to say something, but
stopped. You said you would tell me later. It's later.
Mewtwo: <Er, yes, so it is. Ganondorf..... If I may step out of character, for a moment... I consider you a
friend. A good friend. There is something that I can only really trust you with.>
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf stop. Ganondorf feels something like a wave of thought, going through his
mind, and he can tell that Mewtwo is sweeping the area to make sure they're alone.)
Mewtwo: <Gardevoir is strong, there's no denying that. However, I still fear for her... and my child.
Ganondorf... If, for some reason, I am unable to- unable to take care of my child... I want you to be the
godfather.>
(Ganondorf raises an eyebrow, but stays silent.)
Mewtwo: ...... <Ganondorf?>

Ganondorf: I'm... trying to think of how I should respond. This is wholly different from- I mean, it's not
exactly- ...... Sure, Mewtwo, I will be your child's godfather.
(Eventually, the moment passes, and they continue on their way to their special reinforced training
room, where they beat the holy hell out of each other.)
TD: What a touching moment. Did you hear that, Samus? Wasn't it so emotional, it just makes you want
to hurl?
Samus: Bite me.
TD: Goodness, you're awfully snippy. Perhaps I should plug your mouth with something.
Ridley: hhI'm telling hyou, kill her now!
TD: Ridley, shut up, would you? I have her all locked up, and helpless. Therefore, I am obligated, as the
evil person I am, to torture her in the most horrible way I dare, then kill her.
(Ridley, content with this, gets comfortable. That same awful, fanged grin has spread across his long
beak-like mouth.)
TD: This brings me back to you, my dear. You see...
(The Deity holds up a hand. Samus rises off the floor of her cell, held by The Deity's mental grip.)
TD: ... there's something you probably ought to know about me.
(The Deity spreads his fingers.)
TD: I am a massive pervert...
(Samus's limbs suddenly shoot out, until she is being held spread-eagled, mid-air.)
TD: ... and when opportunity comes a-knockin'...
(Samus looks at The Deity with revulsion. She then looks a little lower, and the revulsion is joined by
fear.)
TD: ... I answer.
(Bomberman, Geno and Mario are walking the halls. It's approximately an hour before lunch.)
BM: So, you're sure you can protect us?
Mario: Absolutely.
BM: Can't you do anything about Samus? For all we know, The Deity might be doing something bad to
her.
Mario: Ah, I'm afraid not.
Geno: You know, I'm getting curious, as well. Mario, exactly why can't you and The Deity harm each
other?
Mario: ..... (sigh) I suppose you both deserve some sort of answer. Very well, come-a to my office.
(The three head to Mario's office. Inside, Mario seats himself in his chair, and the other two take seats.)
Mario: Okie-dokie.... Where to begin?
BM: It's a simple question, I think.
Mario: ..... Then a simple answer, you shall get. When I created The Deity, it-a seems that, since his-a
energy is-a the same as mine, most of our powers cancel out, when used against each other. That's-a
how I plan to protect you, by lashing out with-a my own strength, and negating his.
BM: That was the simple answer? What's the complicated answer?
Mario: Too long for-a me to tell you. Next question.
Geno: Alright, then how does he beat you up?
Mario: (cough) Uh, he... He's-a just stronger than me, physically.
BM: .... That's kinda lame, isn't it?
Mario: You're telling me?
Geno: Then, can you at least tell us what's happening with Samus, right now?
Mario: Samus is- She will-a be fine, physically. No matter what, The Deity must heal all physical wounds.
(under breath) I hope.
Geno: What was that?
Mario: Hm? Oh, I was just- uh- thinking about her emotional state. Samus is a tough woman, but I can't
help but-a think of what he's-a doing to her.
TD: AaAaGgGgHhH!!! AH! Ah! Ah.... ahhhhhhh. . . . . .
Samus: ......
TD: Cigarette?
(With a thought, The Deity creates a cigarette, and lights the tip of his thumb. He holds the cigarette in
front of Samus, who remains still.)
TD: What? Oh, give me some credit! I made Ridley leave, and I made this comfy bed for us. Isn't that
worth something?
(Samus stares straight ahead, not moving. Tears stand in her eyes.)
TD: ..... Oh, I get it! Because I took away your precious virginity, you're all upset, is that it? Well then,
allow me!
(Samus flinches when The Deity places a hand on Samus's bare skin, just below her navel. He presses
down for a moment, making Samus gasp, then withdraws his hand.)
Samus: What did- ... What did you do?
TD: I thought that would be obvious. I healed you. Fresh as a daisy, you are. Well, actually, you would
be, except...
(Samus flinches again when The Deity places his hand over her stomach.)
TD: ... You still have a part of me... in you. You know, it's a shame my powers have their limits, because if
it were up to me...
(The Deity leans in real close, next to Samus's ear. Despite his lack of a mouth, when he speaks, Samus
still feels breath.)
TD: ... in nine months, your humiliation would be complete.
(The Deity laughs a sinister laugh, and settles back.)
Samus: . . . . . You- you...
TD: Yes, me. .... Me, me, me...
Samus: .... It didn't work.
TD: What's that?
(Samus turns her head, and looks into The Deity's cold, empty eyes. The tears that were there a moment
ago are gone.)
Samus: You haven't broken me. You can't break me. Would you like to know why?
(The Deity's eyes narrow. He somehow sneers.)

TD: Oh, please, do tell.
(Samus leans in real close to him, and speaks in a whisper.)
Samus: ... You are going to die, soon. I don't know when, but you will most certainly perish. So do what
you want, whatever you want, with me, because you're going to die. Probably by my hands.
(The Deity glares at Samus, menacingly, but he is countered by the hard, unwavering determination of
Samus. Finally, The Deity gets up, takes a couple steps away, and rounds on Samus.)
TD: Well then, I see that I'm going to have to try a little harder. You're about to learn, my dear, that I was
being nice. You could have kept it that way, by being a good girl, and bowing to me, but NO, you had to
go and defy me! Well guess what, Samus? You're about to experience something, far, far worse!
(Very suddenly, a multitude of thick tentacles sprout from his back, and grow to several feet in length.)
Samus: ..... That's it? Tentacles? Yawn.
(For an instant, The Deity looks shocked, then furious. Suddenly, he calms himself, and the tentacles
retract.)
TD: You know what? You're right. This does seem a little boring. Perhaps... if I were to take a slightly
different approach, you will become more amenable to my generosity.
(The Deity snaps his fingers. Ridley appears.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later, at lunch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(As per usual, Ganondorf and Mewtwo are stuffing their faces.)
Ganondorf: +So, do you wanna hazard a guess when this is going down?+
Mewtwo: .... <Why are you thinking, instead of talking?>
Ganondorf: +I don't want anyone eavesdropping.+
Mewtwo: <Ah. .... I don't know, to be honest. Apparently, he has some sort of plan, for the day of Brawl,
so it's gotta be tomorrow, at the latest.>
Ganondorf: +True. Although, it has to be a time when people aren't tired, or hungry. The afternoon, I
think, about half-way between lunch and dinner.+
Mewtwo: <Well, it had better happen soon. Snake holed himself up in his room.>
Ganondorf: +Tired of the delays, is he?+
Mewtwo: <Mm. More power to him, I suppose, just as long as he's there for the final big push.>
Ganondorf: +Careful there, you were starting to sound like a Gerudo, for a second.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Popo: How come Mr. Snake isn't here?
Nana: Because he has to tend to Ms. Samus, remember? She's sick.
Y. Link: Hmm...
Ness: Something on your mind?
Y. Link: Maybe... it's because he's my future self... I'm getting some weird vibes from him.
Jigglypuff: Jiggly, jigglypuff, puff.
Kirby: {What are you talking about, Jigglypuff?}
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff!
Ness: Kirby?
Kirby: {Lucario's vision. I haven't heard anything about it.}
Poo: Nobody told you?
Kirby: {Nope.}
Nana: Sorry Kirby, we didn't mean to keep you out of the loop.
Kirby: {No problem. Can you guys tell me, now?}
(The children describe the vision Lucario shared with them.)
Kirby: ..... {I see.}....
Popo: ..... Kirby?
Kirby: {It's nothing. A little weird, that's all.}
Jigglypuff: Jigglypuff!
Kirby: {Hm? Oh, right. Jigglypuff is thinking that Link's strange feelings might be somehow connected to
Lucario's vision.}
Poo: ..... How?
Y. Link: I could ask him, you know. I mean, he's me, so it's cool.
Ness: I think you should. Why not right now?
Y. Link: Uh, yeah, I'll go now.
(Young Link gets up, throws his stuff away, and goes over to Link, who is sitting with Pit.)
Link: Hey, there, me. What's up?
Y. Link: We need to talk.
(Link glances sidelong at Pit.)
Link: ‘Bout what?
Y. Link: You know something. I can tell. It's something weird, I can feel it, and I want to know what it is.
Link: ..... (sigh) Trust me, you'll find out. Soon.
(Young Link narrows his eyes a bit, and stares at Link.)
Link: Very soon. Before the end of tomorrow, I guarantee, you'll know.
(Young Link hesitates, then decides that he'd had enough, and goes back to his friends.)
Pit: What was that all about?
Link: (sigh) It's a temporal paradox thing. Even I don't understand it.
Pit: Say whuh?
Link: Exactly. Something to do with existing at the same time as my past self. If I manage to figure it out,
I'll tell you about it.
Pit: Eh, alright.
Link: +Oh, Pit. What the hell is going to happen to you? What am I going to have to do to you?+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere, a little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
TD: Wow. I'm genuinely impressed that you managed to stay in one piece.
(Samus is laying on the stone floor, a floppy little rag-doll, barely alive. Bruised, battered, and in all-
around bad shape, but still alive. She only stare ahead with clouded eyes. Whether her inability to move
is because of the physical abuse, her own exhaustion, or emotional trauma, is not clear.)
TD: Now, do you realize the true beauty of your situation? I didn't do a thing to you! This, everything
here, was caused by Ridley! Do you know what that means?
(The Deity crouches down, right next to Samus. She doesn't react at all, when he caresses one of her
sorer, um... "areas." When he speaks, it is barely more than a whisper.)
TD: I don't have to heal you. I can leave you like this, for as long as I please. Even if I harm you, in this
state...
(The Deity jabs her breast with one pointy claw, drawing only a few drops of blood.)
TD: I only have to heal these wounds I made.
(The Deity presses a finger-tip to the wound, which instantly seals up. The Deity then stands up straight,
and walks away a bit, keeping his back to Samus.)
TD: Ridley, you're done.
(The Deity waves a hand, and Ridley disappears.)
TD: As for you... Well, I just want to find out if I broke you, yet.
(The Deity waves his right hand, and suddenly, Samus is completely healed.)
TD: Of course... you will still carry a bit of that shame with you... and I don't mean that figuratively. So,
have you learned, yet? Will you bow to me?
(Samus blinks a few times, and very slowly, gets to a kneeling position. She looks down below her, and
feels utterly revolted by what she sees.)
Samus: ... I...
TD: Yes?
Samus: .... I.... will destroy you... and then I will feel no more shame. I think I might even laugh about it,
later.
(The Deity keeps his back turned. He only breathes deeply. There is a long moment of silence, before he
speaks.)
TD: I see.... Then, you have forced me to take drastic measures. I'm almost sorry I have to do this to you.
Samus: Go ahead. Do what you will to me, I still will never submit.
(The Deity turns to Samus. Somehow, someway, he has managed to make his face look apologetic.)
TD: Oh, I'm sorry, Samus. This doesn't involve you. No, this is going to be... different. Be right back.
(The Deity vanishes.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Gardevoir: (sigh) +I do love Mewtwo, but if he even thinks about keeping me in this room much longer,
I'm going to be very cross with him.+
(Gardevoir suddenly feels a powerful presence, and whirls around to become face to face with-)
Gardevoir: <YOU!>
TD: It's a shame I can't hear psychic speak. Can you speak normally? Ah, no matter. I'm sure I can make
you scream.
(The Deity grabs Gardevoir, and they disappear. However, a note appears on the floor, where The Deity
stood.)
TD: Hey, Samus, I got a playmate for you!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ A little later ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Ganondorf: I'm just saying, it might be a good idea for you to brush up on fatherhood. Take a trip to
your world, for the delivery, at least.
Mewtwo: <Hm, perhaps. Hold that thought, I want to look in on her, before we do training. Wait here.>
Ganondorf: Paranoid, much?
(Mewtwo enters his room. He looks around, confused by Gardevoir's absence, then sees the note, and
picks it up.)
Greetings, Mewtwo
Since you're reading this note, you have no doubt noticed that your love is gone. I'm also assuming that
you know I abducted Samus. You're smart, you can put two and two together. However, I feel I must
inform you that, yes, I fully intend to perform some very, very lewd acts with Gardevoir, and Samus, and
then make them be lewd, together. I wonder if I'm going to hurt your child, Mewtwo. Oh, if you're
wondering, I'm not talking about beating Gardevoir, I'm talking about... "internal damages".
Signed,
Asmodeus
TD: Oh, he just thought my name! Ooh, he's pissed, too! I guess he really does love you, afterall
(Gardevoir can only cry. Cry, and pray for it to end.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Back to Mewtwo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(As Mewtwo read the note, his eyes turned darker and darker, until they had become almost completely
black. Electricity started arcing across his body. He lets the note fall from his hands. With a mighty
mental roar, energy explodes outwards, shattering many of the objects in the room. He then vanishes.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Elsewhere ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Mario: +What the hell was that?!+
(Mewtwo suddenly appears in front of him. A fierce aura of dark fire burns around him, making the air
crackle with power.)
Mewtwo: <GATHER EVERYONE TOGETHER! THIS ENDS NOW!!>
(In response to Mewtwo's anger, Mario has called every single brawler to the conference room, in a
hurry. The only ones not there are Meta-Knight and Ridley... and Mewtwo.)
Snake: Do you know where he is?
Mario: Not a clue. That means Meta-Knight is either off-world, or under The Deity's protection. I can't-a
sense someone if-a they're blanketed by his influence.
Snake: I was talking about Mewtwo.
Mario: Oh. He's-a waiting beside the entrance to The Deity's lair.
Snake: Still furious?
Mario: I don't think he could be any more furious.
Snake: I kinda hope that's the case. Power like that is going to come in very handy, in the final battle.
Fox: Hey, Mario! What are you guys talking about?
(Mario and Snake glance at each other.)
Snake: We never did figure out a good way to tell them, did we?
Mario: Nope. Well, good luck.
(Mario gives Snake a slap on the back, takes his seat, and looks at him expectantly.)
Snake: Mario, if we survive this, I'll-
Fox: What are we surviving?

(Snake stops talking to Mario, but gives him a "this-isn't-finished" look. He turns his attention to the
gathered brawlers.)
Snake: ..... There is a being, within our home, which is a great threat to all of us. It is extremely
powerful... For a long time now, it has stayed behind the scenes, but it seems that it has had plans, all
along, that are now almost complete. It is extremely powerful, but I and a few others have found a
means to bring it down to our level, in the form of suped-up Smash Emblems. However, this being has
stolen them, and at the same time, has abducted Samus. That is the real reason why she hasn't been
seen, recently.
(A few of them are looking skeptical, with Fox looking almost incredulous.)
Fox: Hold on. You're saying there's this... thing... and it's been living with us for how long?
Snake: We can't be sure. As near as we can tell, though, since before Melee.
Fox: Right, sure. And, we haven't seen this... does it even have a name?
Snake: For now, we are calling it The Deity.
Fox: That's comforting. How come we haven't noticed it? I would think that something so powerful
would attract some attention.
Snake: Like I said, it's been working behind the scenes. It doesn't make itself known unless it wants to be
known. It- Well, he, I suppose, has become sloppy, most likely because his plan is so close to completion.
Samus disappeared right in front of me, along with the weapon we had been planning to use. Now, he
has abducted Gardevoir. I think you can guess why Mewtwo isn't here, when all of you were called.
(Here, the other's look at each other, concerned. Even Fox doesn't dare challenge this one. Snake paces,
slowly, back and forth.)
Snake: This brings us to now. We can no longer stall. We must make a stand, now, and fight him.
Falco: How? You said he took the special Super Smashes.
Snake: He did, and that makes them our first priority. We had a better plan, but I'm afraid that now, it
has been reduced to charging in there, guns-a-blazin', as the saying goes.
Sonic: Do we know where he is?
Snake: Yes. Not too long before he abducted Gardevoir, she and Mewtwo were able to use their
combined powers to track down the entrance to The Deity's lair, as well as the way to enter it, which will
be handled by Mario.
(Snake pauses, thinking of anything else to say.)
Snake: I wish I could tell you more, but we knew from the beginning that this was going to have to be
kept short. However, I think this is all that needs to be known. Now is the time when we take the fight to
The Deity, and stop his plans. I know that a lot is being asked, but none of us are really strangers to risk,
and I know that everyone here is ready for something as big as this, and- Oh, to hell with it. I'm not good
at motivational speeches, so here's the short of it: we either fight The Deity, and destroy him, or we
inevitably get annihilated. I'm going to fight it, and anyone else who doesn't like annihilation is welcome
to follow. The entrance is across from the door to the Endless Field. I'll see you there.
(Snake walks out. Mario, Peach, Ganondorf, Bomberman, Link, Geno and Mr. Game&Watch all follow
without hesitation. Slowly, just like a slow clap, the others get up, and follow.)
Asmodeus: Well, their little meeting has just started. I suppose that means the final battle is going to
start, soon enough. I should get ready.
(Asmodeus pulls Gardevoir off him, and tosses her carelessly to the side. She crumples on the floor, not
moving. Samus immediately rushes to her side.)
Samus: Gardevoir! Gardevoir, please, give me some sign that you're in there!
Gardevoir: .....
Samus: Dammit, I know you're stronger than this! Come on!
Gardevoir: ... 
Samus: Yes, I know you can. I felt him for a while after, too, but you don't have to suffer anymore.
Gardevoir: <No... I can feel Mewtwo.>
Samus: Mewtwo?
Asmodeus: He's right outside here, but he can't get in. Although, Mario has been brought into the mix,
so I'm guessing he's going to help them get in, and I can't close off the entrance. I really wish this could
have been held off another day, though.
Samus: What did you think would happen when you took Gardevoir? Did you think Mewtwo would let
that go so easily?
Asmodeus: ..... Perhaps it was a mistake, at that.
Samus: Yuh think? Talk about twenty/twenty hindsight, numnuts!
Asmodeus: I'll let that one slide, but only because once I win, I'll make you regret having a mouth.
Samus: You're still holding out hopes for yourself? Face the facts! You're going to die, and that's the end
of it!
Asmodeus: That's pretty big talk, coming from a woman who's still naked, and covered in my-
Samus: DON'T... Don't finish that sentence.
(Samus looks down at Gardevoir, and realizes that she's still in a pretty sorry state.)
Samus: And why the hell haven't you healed her yet?
Asmodeus: I thought that would be obvious. I haven't harmed her. Oh, she'll be sore, for a while, but
that's negligible. I don't have to do a thing.
Samus: But you-

Asmodeus: Oh, come now, Samus! Did you think that she really is that innocent? I happen to know that
Pokemon conception works just like all mammals. She has already mated with Mewtwo a few times. I
know. I watched.
Samus: ..... How bored are you?!
Asmodeus: Bored enough to invent a new word to describe how bored I am. Wanna hear it?
Samus: I-
Asmodeus: It's called omnibored. If there ever was a word that could describe the infinite dullness I live
in, it's that.
(Silence.)
Samus: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Asmodeus: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
Samus: One moment, you're an evil, manipulative bastard, the next, you're a massively perverted creep,
and then, you act like a child!
Asmodeus: What, that? I thought it was obvious that I have serious issues. Besides, I'm a guy. I'll let you
in on a little secret. All guys are schizophrenic. I'm fairly normal, when you think about it.
Samus: ..... Fine. I guess I can accept that. But for the love of GOD, would you please clean us up!?
Asmodeus: Hmm.... Fair enough.
(Asmodeus waves a hand, and suddenly, all three of them are clean.)
Samus: Did you get... the rest of it?
Asmodeus: Nope. See? You can see it, right there.
(Asmodeus points at Gardevoir, who has just pulled herself to a sitting position. Both Samus and
Gardevoir look down, and recoil at the sight of the fluids running out of her.)
Samus: That's it, it's decided. I will-

Asmodeus: Kill me? Woman, you need to find something else to say. I mean, it's the only thing you can
do, and even that doesn't really hold any merit. So, you kill me. What then? You go on with your lives,
like all of this was just a bad dream, and killing me was the end of it?
(Asmodeus steps close to Samus. Whether from defiance, or some other reason, she doesn't move.)
Asmodeus: No matter how this turns out, you will always live with the regret that you could do no worse
than killing me. I don't need to be psychic to see how I will die. It will be quick, and not that painful. On
the other hand, you're going to carry the emotional scars for the rest of your lives. Oh, and let's not
forget your... friends. What if they all burst in here, and see you like this? They're never going to be able
to look at you the same. And Gardevoir! I can't help but wonder what Mewtwo will think, when he sees
you there, with my seed spilling out of you.
(Despite having no mouth, Asmodeus' face looks like it has a malicious grin on it.)
Asmodeus: Do you both understand, now? Even if I die, I still win.
(For a very long moment, they say nothing. They just stare at each other. Finally, Asmodeus turns his
back to them.)
Asmodeus: They are here. I will need the help of my underlings.
(Asmodeus waves a hand, and Ridley and Meta-Knight appear. Both of them look at Samus and
Gardevoir, with different reactions.)
MK: What is this? What have you done to them?
Ridley: hhI can tell you. Well, I can shhow you, at leasst.
Asmodeus: We don't have time for that, the rest have converged on the outside, and will be through any
moment now. I have given the two of you a fraction of my power, to help you hold the line. I will be
back here, fending off the more powerful attacks with my will.
Ridley: hWhat of the morsels?
Asmodeus: Samus and Gardevoir? Good point.
(Asmodeus waves a hand. A portion of a wall fades away, revealing a cell. He waves his hand again, and
Samus and Gardevoir are thrown into it, and the wall re-materializes.)
Asmodeus: Much better....
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Outside Asmodeus' lair ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snake: Does everyone understand the plan?
(General affirmative)
Snake: Good. First wave, take positions.
(Ganondorf, Mewtwo, Snake, Link, Geno, Bomberman, and Mr. Game&Watch all line up. Bomberman
pulls out a two large bombs, Mewtwo's dark aura burns fiercely, and Geno charges his Geno Beam.
Mario stands in front of a seemingly blank section of the wall.)
Snake: I'm not sure what we'll find on the other side of this wall, but I can guarantee-
BM: that it's flammable!
Ganondorf: I think that sums it up nicely. Let's do this.
(Mario presses a hand against the wall, and a large arced double-door appears out of it. Mario and
Snake each grab a handle. With a last look at everyone, they throw open the doors, and rush it.
Immediately, they are bombarded by a barrage of fireballs from Ridley, which are deflected by
Mewtwo's psychic barrier, but only barely. Meta-Knight rushes in underneath them, but is forced to
jump back when Bomberman throws one of the bombs at him. Geno releases his Geno Beam full-force
into Ridley's chest, pushing him away, his claws tearing up the floor as he goes. Ganondorf and Link rush
in, but are both stopped by Meta-Knight's blades. For a moment, the battle looks equal, but suddenly,
Meta-Knight dashes under Ganondorf's defenses, and slices through his leather armor, and nicks the
skin underneath. Ganondorf falls back.)
Ganondorf: Watch out, you guys, they're somehow more powerful than before.
BM: You're telling me?
(Bomberman throws clusters of small bombs at Ridley, and finishes it with his signature over-size bomb,
eventually obscuring Ridley in a cloud of dust. When it settles, Ridley seems unscathed. He only stands
there, grinning that frightening grin of his.)
BM: Explode, dammit!
(Suddenly, Mr. Game&Watch runs towards Ridley, clicking, as he always does, stops short, and rings his
bell. Ridley looks at him, bewildered, for a split second, then starts to chuckle, then starts to laugh.
When he stops, he looks down to see that Bomberman and Mr. Game&Watch have stepped to the side.
He looks a little further, and sees a strange blue cannon, pointed right at him.)
Geno: Boom.
(A massive bolt of orange energy fires out of the Geno-cannon, making the air crackle, and slams full-
force into Ridley. The instant it does, it expands, looking like a face for a fraction of a second, before
completely engulfing him. Geno calmly morphs back to his normal form.)
G&W: <How did you do that? It looked to be of Super-Smash caliber.>
Geno: <Serenade has joined my consciousness, for this battle. It isn't much, but as you can see, it's
enough.>
Serenade: <Woo! I remember this! C'mon, let's keep going!>

Geno: <Game&Watch, this is why I love this woman.>
G&W: 
Serenade: <Oh, come on! It's just those two against all of us! Piece of cake!>
(Within the massive cathedral-like lair of Asmodeus, the sounds of the fighting reverberate off the stone
walls. The clang of swords resound, as Meta-Knight, fueled by Asmodeus' power, fends off Link, as well
as Marth and Roy, who just got into the fray. Suddenly, Pit jumps in, wielding the dual blades of his
Sacred Bow, and all four of them beat back Meta-Knight. For a moment, it looks as though Meta-Knight
is beaten, when suddenly, a voice calls out.)
Asmodeus: Pit! Do you recognize my voice?
(Pit stops, mid-strike. Marth and Roy hesitate, wondering what is going on. Meta-Knight takes advantage
of this moment, and strikes at Roy, stabbing his sword arm. Before anyone can react, Meta-Knight rips
his sword out of Roy's arm in a slashing motion, and connects with Marth's non-sword arm, biting
deeply. Roy drops the Sword of Seals, and steps back, holding his bleeding arm. Marth grunts in pain,
but lifts his sword.)
Link: Dammit! Marth, get Roy back to Doc!
(Link barely has time to get this out, before being forced to concentrate on Meta-Knight, who has
renewed his assault.)
Link: Ergh! Augh! Dammit! PIT!
(Pit only stares dumbly, straight ahead.)
Pit: Is it-? Are you-?
Asmodeus: Yes, Pit! I am the one who is trying to help you! I am Zelda's only hope for recovery, but the
others mean to kill me!
(It takes a couple seconds for this to sink in.)
Asmodeus: If you want to see Zelda again, you must help me! Quickly, help Meta-Knight!
(Pit hesitates for only a second. Then, he rounds on Link, and starts to attack, alongside Meta-Knight.
Link, who had barely been able to keep up with Meta-Knight, is now forced to hide behind his shield,
and can only retreat from the relentless advance.)
Link: +Dammit dammit dammit DAMMIT!! I need help, NOW!+

(As if in answer to his silent cry for help, Link finds himself being flanked by Fox and Falco, who go
between using physical attacks and their blasters. However, despite the efforts of all three of them,
they're still not gaining any ground. Slowly, as if guided by an invisible hand, Fox and Falco begin to
concentrate their fire on Meta-Knight, who is forced to dodge the blaster fire. Link and Pit eventually get
separated from the others. However, Link's arms are getting tired and sore, from the duel, while Pit is
fresh, and not even close to tired. Link hits Pit with his shield, and in that instant of vulnerability, he
raises the Master Sword high, and brings it down, hard.... and is stopped by Pit's blades, which he has
crossed over him. Both Pit and Link bring their swords down, and step close to each other, each
struggling to get the upper hand.)
Link: Dammit Pit, why are you listening to him? He is the evil one!
Pit: Don't you care about Zelda?! Didn't you hear him? He's the only one who can save him!
Link: He's brainwashed you, Pit!! It's all lies, now stop this fighting! This is madness!
Pit: Madness?!
(Pit knees Link in the gut, and kicks him away, sending Link sprawling on the floor.)
Pit: THIS. IS-
(Before Pit can finish, Link chucks his boomerang at him, which Pit swats out of the air, with one of his
swords. Pit advances, and raises his swords to finish it. Just as Pit starts to bring them down, he slows to
a crawl, barely moving at all. Baffled by this, Link looks around, and sees that everyone else has slowed
down.)
Farore: <Link...>
Link: +Whuh? Farore?+
Farore: <Link, it is time. You must confront your friend, and defeat him. If you do not, he will kill you.
You are needed, to fight the abomination.>
Link: +But-+
Farore: <No, Link, this is the way it must be. I will now fill you with my influence. I wish you luck, Link.>
(Link looks down, and sees his Triforce glowing, and he can feel himself gaining back his strength. He
looks back at Pit, and sees he is still in the middle of bringing down his blades. Link feels that things are
starting to return to normal, and hastily brings up his shield, just in time to deflect the crushing blow.
Link quickly rolls away, and stands up.)
Link: Pit. You are my best friend, and to that extent, I love you dearly. It is for that reason, that I do this,
now.
(Link, Triforce shining brightly, charges at Pit. Link hurls his shield at Pit, who rolls to the side. When he
gets to his feet, he sees that Link has already started swinging his sword, aiming right at the side of his
head.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Across the room ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Mewtwo and Ganondorf have broken through, and now confront Asmodeus. Mewtwo's aura burns
more fiercely than ever, making the air around him crackle with power.)
Asmodeus: It took you guys long enough to challenge me. Mewtwo, I thought you would try to come at
me, right away. Now, I'm sure you know what I've done to your precious Gardevoir. I'm sure you could
sense the unique energy in me, that comes from what I've done to her. I'm sure you don't care, but I've
been doing the exact same to Samus. Actually, you should be grateful to me, because I took it easy on
your woman. Now, do you have anything to say to me?
Mewtwo: <Shut up and fight me. I don't have time for you, I must get to Gardevoir.>
Asmodeus: Oh, that's right, I can't hear psychic speak. No matter, I'll just assume you were just thanking
me for my benevolence. Still, there must be something you can tell me.
(Silence. Ganondorf's eyes go wide, and he looks at Mewtwo like one would look at a friend who had
gotten a sex-change. Ganondorf takes one large step away from Mewtwo.)
Ganondorf: Ooooookay.
Asmodeus: What? What did he say?
Ganondorf: You know what, why don't we just fight?
Asmodeus: ........ ‘K.
(With absolutely no warning, Mewtwo releases a massive amount of dark energy, in one concentrated
blast. The force of it hurls Ganondorf off his feet, and sends him skidding across the smooth floor.)
Ganondorf: *&^%!! How long have you been waiting to do that?
Mewtwo: <Too long. But I'm not even close to done yet. ..... Neither is he, it seems.>
(The cloud of dust kicked up by the energy wave settles, revealing Asmodeus, still standing there. For a
moment, it looks as though he was completely unharmed. However, it soon becomes apparent that
parts of his skin were severely burned, and are now festering sores.)
Asmodeus: ..... Not bad. I didn't even have time to counter it with my will. Still, you have lost the
advantage. Your next attack won't-
(Out of nowhere, Ganondorf jumps at Asmodeus, about to bring his fist - charged with his black magic -
down with devastating force. No more than one foot from Asmodeus' head, though, Ganondorf is
stopped when Asmodeus catches the burning fist in the palm of his hand, the flames still fizzling.)
Asmodeus: -surprise me.

(Without so much as a grunt, Asmodeus swings Ganondorf around, holding onto his fist, and hurls him
towards Mewtwo. Mewtwo catches him with a mental hold, and sets him down.)
Mewtwo: <What happened to getting assistance from your goddess?>
Ganondorf: +I'm not sure. I guess we just haven't met the requirements, yet.+
Mewtwo: <Fine. Until then?>
Ganondorf: +We kick his scrawny ass.+
(Ganondorf and Mewtwo launch into a relentless frenzy, giving Asmodeus everything they have.)
Asmodeus: +Fascinating. I hadn't counted on Mewtwo having a level head. After all, that was the reason
I taunted him with Gardevoir, so that he would be easier to beat. Of course, it doesn't exactly help that
they're working very well, as a team. If I weren't so powerful, this might be a bad situation. However...+
(Asmodeus' form blurs for an instant, then vanishes. He reappears some distance away. Before Mewtwo
or Ganondorf can close in on him, though, Asmodeus raises his right hand. Seemingly out of nowhere,
and out of nothing, a small army of Wireframes rise out of the floor, forming a guard around Asmodeus.)
Mewtwo: <Wireframes..... I hate Wireframes.>
Ganondorf: +So do I.+
(Ganondorf charges the Wireframe closest to him, a male one, looking for a shoulder-tackle. The blow
connects, but the Wireframe barely slides back. Ganondorf looks up at the blank face, with very wide
eyes.)
Ganondorf: Cruel Wireframes!
Asmodeus: Who do you think created them? And who do you think controls them?
(Asmodeus snaps his fingers. Instantly, the fifty or so Wireframes turn to face Ganondorf. The big male
he tried to take down grabs Ganondorf by the buckle of his cape, and throws him far away. They
advance, marching with a steady, drone-like, intimidating pace. However, they stop when Mewtwo
teleports in between them.)
Ganondorf: +Cruel Wireframes. I should have seen this coming. Some tactical master I am.+
Din: <Do not despair, my avatar.>
Ganondorf: +DIN! ..... What took you?+
Din: <Silence. Now is the moment. Take my power. Take it, and use it to defeat your enemies.>
Ganondorf: +I thought my purpose was to get the Giga-Smash coins!+

Din: <Think, Ganondorf. Do what you do best, and you will understand.>
Ganondorf: +Din, I still don't- Din? Damn.+
Mewtwo: <Ganondorf, what the hell are you waiting for?! I can't hold them off forever!>
(Ganondorf snaps out of his daze, and gets up off the floor, only to be knocked down again by a flying
Wireframe, female. Ganondorf hits the floor, hard, but what really confuses him is what he sees when
he lifts his head.)
Ganondorf: ..... +I really don't know what to think of this.+
Mewtwo: <GANONDORF!!>
Ganondorf: +Right, of course.+ Watch where you're hurling these things, dammit!
Ganondorf shoves the unmoving Wireframe off him, and gets to his feet. After a short survey of the
remaining twenty-five or so Cruel Wireframes, he moves closer to Mewtwo.)
Mewtwo: <Well?! Aren't you going to fight? This is starting to take its toll on me.>
(Mewtwo glances at Ganondorf, and does a double-take. Ganondorf has a big grin on his face. Slowly,
Mewtwo grins as well.)
Mewtwo: ..... 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Gardevoir and Samus are trapped in the cell. There is air, but no light is apparent. Samus is still naked.
Gardevoir is sitting with her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest.)
Samus: ..... Gardevoir?
(Silence.)
Samus: It's horrible, isn't it?
(Gardevoir sniffs.)
Samus: I'm sorry, Gardevoir. I could have done something to prevent this. It was my own selfishness that
got you here.
Gardevoir: ... 
Samus: Well, at least you spoke. Er, you know what I mean. But... if I had just bowed to him.... that's all I
had to do. Just that, and you would have been spared.
Gardevoir: <Samus, you cannot blame yourself for what that monster did to me.>
Samus: But it's true! It was my damned pride! Some leader I'm turning out to be. I can't even save one of
my best friends from a fate worse than death.
Gardevoir: <No, I mean.... I don't think it would have made a difference.>
Samus: Whuh? What do you mean?
Gardevoir: 
Samus: But... how can you be sure about that?
Gardevoir: <I'm not. But, I think it's better than thinking this is your fault.>
Samus: ..... Thank you, Gardevoir. (sigh) Still, I can't help but think that he's right, about one thing.
Gardevoir: <What is that?>
Samus: He must be destroyed. There is no other way. The Deity will be destroyed, and it will be quick. I
can't give him the payback he deserves. I can't make him suffer for what he did to us... to all of us.
Gardevoir: <Yes.... Most unfortunate.>
(They sit for a long minute, in absolute silence. Samus zones out, eventually, but is slowly brought to
reality by the growing sounds coming from across the lightless cell.)
Samus: .... Gardevoir?
(Samus listens hard, and realizes that there are a few different sounds. There is a kind of wet, fleshy
sound, and what almost sounds like little gasps. Slowly, quietly, Samus crawls toward the sounds.)
Samus: .......... Gardevoir, what are you-?
(Samus stops when she feels Gardevoir's arm. She gropes Gardevoir's arm, steadily moving down, until...
When Samus realizes, she pulls back her hand, with a sound of surprise.)
Samus: Gardevoir! Are you-!?

Gardevoir: 
Samus: But.... you're-
Gardevoir: <Yes. I hate this, but it must be done.>
Samus: Can't you... use your psychic powers for that?
Gardevoir: <It doesn't work like that. I cannot... use my psychic powers on myself, internally.>
(Silence... except for those sounds.)
Gardevoir: <Curses.>
Samus: What? Did he hurt you afterall?
Gardevoir: <No, I-..... I'm having trouble... getting the rest.>
(The air is filled with a thick, suffocating tension. There is an extremely long pause.)
Samus: Then.... I must help you.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Meanwhile ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf has charged directly into the fray, and is fending off the Cruel Wireframes, which are
constantly being replaced by Asmodeus. Mewtwo, however, has taken to hovering above the battle, just
out of reach of the blank-faced soldiers.)
Asmodeus: +What is he doing up there? Not fighting at all... it doesn't make sense. What is their plan?!+
(Ganondorf does a huge 360 degree leg-sweep, and immediately starts charging up a Gerudo Punch,
which he lets go into the first group to charge him, sending them all flying.)
Ganondorf: +They're getting weaker. Any idea what that means?+
Mewtwo: <They're not getting weaker. You yourself said that you have come into contact with your
goddess. You're getting stronger.>
(Ganondorf jumps above the horde, and thrusts his feet downward, clearing out all the Wireframes
beneath him.)
Ganondorf: +I suppose that's true. Any luck, yet?+
Mewtwo: <It's hard to tell, but- hang on.... 45 degrees clockwise, female, approximately 20 feet.>
Ganondorf: +Got it.+
(Ganondorf does another huge leg-sweep, and ends up 45 degrees clockwise from where he was. He
then crouches, and launches into the Wizard's foot, gliding just above the floor, knocking out
Wireframes along the way, and coming to a halt just before a female wireframe. Suddenly, Ganondorf
feels a mighty pulse around him, but he isn't affected. Ganondorf looks around, and sees that everything
has slowed down.)
Ganondorf: +Then... it's time.+
Din: +Now, Ganondorf.+

(Ganondorf focuses energy into his fist, far more than a normal Gerudo Punch. In the first split second,
after the flow of time is returned to normal, Ganondorf propels himself upwards, connecting with the
chin of the Wireframe, launching it high off the floor. Ganondorf jumps after it, and punches again, this
time, full in the face. Also, this time, Ganondorf releases all the pent-up force, sending the Wireframe
hurtling towards the floor. The impact cracks and craters the floor, as well as throwing all the nearby
Wireframes far away.)
Ganondorf: +That should do it.+
(Strangely, all the Wireframes suddenly stop... and sink back into the floor. Mewtwo touches down next
to Ganondorf, in front of the crater. Right in the middle... is Asmodeus!)
Mewtwo: <You have to admit, it was a brilliant plan.>
Ganondorf: In the middle of summoning an army of Wireframes, we didn't notice you switching your
body with a Wireframe. You were among them, this whole time. Mewtwo just happened to see that you
were the only one not mindlessly moving in to be whupped by me. We would tire ourselves out, and you
wouldn't have to do a damn thing. Very clever.
(Asmodeus' charred body suddenly heals, and he sits up, then stands up.)
Asmodeus: And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling-
(Mewtwo conveniently chooses this exact moment to flick a pellet of energy at Asmodeus, silencing
him.)
Ganondorf: I'll finish up here. You help the others. It looks like they're starting to fatigue.
Mewtwo: <You sure?>
(Ganondorf holds up his right hand. The Triforce of Power is resonating with the divine influence of Din.)
Mewtwo: <Right. Got it.>
(Mewtwo floats away to join the others, who are still being held off by the super-powered Meta-Knight
and Ridley. By now, everyone who was fighting them has switched out. Now, it is Snake and Simon
Belmont fighting Ridley, Snake using his trusty 9mm pistol and knife, Simon with the spiked whip, and
bottles of liquid that explode with green flames.)
Mewtwo: ..... <Maybe.>
(Mewtwo looks away, at Meta-Knight. He is fighting Mega Man, who is flanked by Sonic and Blaziken.
Mega Man is blasting away, in between Blaziken and Sonic's fervent melee attacks.)
Mewtwo: ...... <They'll be fine.>
(Mewtwo lunges at Ridley, swiping at him with a charged paw, and takes him by surprise. In the moment
of vulnerability, Simon lashes out with his whip, wraps it around Ridley's bony neck, and yanks hard.
With a kind of squawk, Ridley is pulled close to Simon, who dashes an extra-large bottle of fire-water
against Ridley's face, engulfing most of his head in emerald-green flames. Ridley screeches in pain, for
the first time in the whole fight, a thing that causes all the other combatants to pause, and watch the
spectacle.)
Asmodeus: Ridley! NO!
(Ridley wrenches away from Simon, jerking the whip out of his hands, and stumbles about, clawing at his
face in an attempt to get the fire off. However, all this does is leave gashes in his reptilian skin... and the
fire burns there, as well, redoubling the agonizing pain Ridley is in.)
Asmodeus: +I can't have him dying on me, now! I still need him!+
(Asmodeus steals a glance at Ganondorf, who, like the others, is looking at Ridley.)
Asmodeus: +Perfect. While Ganondorf is distracted, I can fix all this.+
(Something catches Ganondorf's attention, out of the corner of his eye. He turns his head, and realizes
that Asmodeus has just extended his right hand. Before Ganondorf can realize what's happening, and
react accordingly, Asmodeus closes his fist. Just like that, the blaze on Ridley's head goes out, and the
self-inflicted gashes close up, leaving terrible scars.)
Ganondorf: That's it, I'm finishing this.
(Asmodeus doesn't even glance, when Ganondorf charges him, he just vanishes, leaving Ganondorf to
stumble to a halt. Asmodeus' voice comes from behind him.)
Asmodeus: How can you hope to finish it? You can't even touch me.
Ganondorf: I assure you, I'm going to touch you, real hard.
(Awkward silence.)
Asmodeus: I don't swing-

(Asmodeus vanishes, and Ganondorf's punch hits nothing but air. Again, Asmodeus' voice comes from
behind.)
Asmodeus: This is getting old, you know. Can we please hurry this up?
(Ganondorf grins. With impossible speed, Ganondorf appears right in front of Asmodeus. Ganondorf
savors the look on his face for but an instant, before driving a straight, flat palm into his chest, forcing
him back several feet. Asmodeus collects himself, and glares at Ganondorf.)
Asmodeus: Where did that come from?
Ganondorf: A wizard did it.
Asmodeus: Aren't you a wizard?

Ganondorf: Exactly.
(Without another word, Ganondorf surges forward, and uses the formidable momentum to land a
thunderous kick to the side of Asmodeus, sending him flying into the side-wall, right on the section
hiding where Samus and Gardevoir are held captive. The solid stone wall explodes with chips of rock, at
the impact, and Asmodeus is left buried part-way in the wall.)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ In the darkness of the cell ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: Did you hear that?
Gardevoir: <How could I not?>
Samus: Something's going on. Do you think they got their hands on the Giga-Smash coins?
Gardevoir: 
Samus: Do you think they know we're in here?
Gardevoir: 
Samus: And from there, Ganondorf probably would have deduced that we are here..... But they would
have broken us out by now, don't you think?
Gardevoir: <Perhaps they were held off by The De- ah!>
(Samus pulls her hand away from Gardevoir, very quickly.)
Samus: I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?
Gardevoir: <No! Ah, er, no, I am fine.>
Samus: Did I do something wrong?
Gardevoir: <You did nothing wrong, Samus. I think it is alright, now. It's all out.>
Samus: Are you sure? I don't even want to think about what might happen if they saw us filthy, like this.
(Suddenly, there is another dull thump, the cell walls shudder, and sounds of crumbling pebbles are very
faintly heard.)
Samus: I think that's them! Oh, but we're still naked!
(Samus stares blankly into the utter darkness, at where she thinks Gardevoir is sitting.)
Samus: Gardevoir? Are you not concerned?

Gardevoir: ..... <Yes, this is a problem. Unfortunately, there is nothing that we can do, in our situation.>
Samus: Yeah, I suppose you're right. I hate it, but we just have to wait it out.
(Another thump, this time, much louder.)
Samus: Gardevoir.... is that... do you see it?
Gardevoir: <I.... yes! Light!>
Samus: They're about to break through! Gardevoir, can you get through, yet?
Gardevoir: ...... 
(Samus and Gardevoir scramble to their feet. Gardevoir accidentally bumps her face against Samus's
chest, but Samus doesn't notice it.)
Samus: Can you contact someone, yet?
Gardevoir: <Wait.... Yes! It will be faint, but I can do it.>
Samus: Excellent! Can you call Mario?
Gardevoir: <Mario? Why him?>
Samus: (cough) Because he can send my Zero Suit in here, before the wall breaks completely.
(Yet another thump. Spider-web cracks start to become visible, with tiny points of light around them.)
Samus: Quickly, please!
Gardevoir: <Of course. ..... Mario, can you hear me?>
Mario: <Gardevoir? Is that you?>
Samus: Thank god!
Gardevoir: <Mario, Samus and I are being held in a cell within the wall of the room you are fighting in.>
Mario: <Are you two alright? Did The Deity hurt you?>
Gardevoir: <He... He healed us. We are fine.>
Mario: <Well, stay right there. I will-a contact Ganondorf, and have him break you out.>
Gardevoir: <Wait, Mario!>

Mario: <Hm? What is it?>
Gardevoir: <Umm.... Samus would like to ask something of you.>
Mario: <Anything. What is it?>
Samus: .... +While he was torturing me, my Zero Suit became severely damaged, and I don't think I can
fight, as I am. In my room, there is a spare. Do you think you can send it directly into the cell?+
Mario: <Why there?>
Samus: +Because I have to change, and-+

Mario: <Of course, sorry I asked. I understand. Just a moment.>
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Outside the cell ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
(Ganondorf is just lining up another shot, getting ready to send Asmodeus flying into the same massive
crater in the side of the wall, as he has started to make a kind of game out of it.)
Mario: <Ganondorf, wait!>
(Not wanting to give Asmodeus a chance to rest, Ganondorf instead hops into the air, flips once, and
drives his heel into the crook of the neck of Asmodeus, causing the shoulder to audibly pop loose, and
him to crumple to the floor.)
Ganondorf: +What is it, Mario? I don't know how long I'm going to have the strength to pummel this
guy. I don't know what you made him out of, but he just keeps coming back for more.+
(Asmodeus stands back up, and holds his dislocated arm to the side. Asmodeus whirls the arm, slightly,
and with a sickening, crunching crack, pops the joint back into place. He twists the arm a bit, then
continues glaring at Ganondorf.)
Asmodeus: I tire of this.
(Asmodeus attacks. Now, the fight isn't nearly so one-sided. Instead, Asmodeus and Ganondorf go back
and forth, each gaining the upper hand for only a few seconds at a time, before the other does a
counter, and attains the advantage.)
Ganondorf: +Say it quick!+
Mario: <Right. Stop-a throwing The Deity into that crater you made.>
Ganondorf: +No problem!+
(Ganondorf catches Asmodeus' fist in his hand, and grabs his other shoulder. Ganondorf rears back, and
delivers an oppressive head-butt. Asmodeus is reeling from the concussive force of the blow.)
Ganondorf: +Any reason why?+

Mario: <Ah... Samus and Gardevoir are-a being held, there. If-a you shatter the wall, they might-a get
hurt. I will have Mewtwo break down the wall.>
Ganondorf: +Fair enough, I suppose.+
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Inside the cell ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Samus: Oh my, that is MUCH better!
Gardevoir: 
Samus: Well, it's a little hard to tell, but.... yes... I think you won't have any problems. Except.... well,
hopefully, no-one will look.
Gardevoir: <What? What is wrong?>
(Gardevoir looks herself over. Then, realization slowly dawns on her face, and so does a furious blush.)
Gardevoir: <Is it noticeable?>
Samus: Well.... I know it's there. No, I don't think anyone will see it. Actually... can't you teleport? As
soon as the barrier is all the way down, I mean?
Gardevoir: <Er, yes, I can, can't I?>
Samus: Good. As soon as you can, get out of here. I'll tell Mewtwo you escaped.
Gardevoir: <Yes.... Thank you, Samus.>
Samus: For what?
Gardevoir: <When he was... I was scared. More scared than I had ever been, in my life. He wasn't just
inside my body, Samus.... he was in my mind!>
(Tears suddenly flood out of Gardevoir's eyes. Without hesitation, Samus draws Gardevoir close to her,
giving her a shoulder to cry on. Gardevoir holds on to Samus like death was after her, the final wall of
her emotional barrier breaking down.)
Gardevoir: <I- I blocked out the pain, became numb to it, but he was in my MIND! I had never felt so...
so-...>
(For the first time, Gardevoir makes a sound. It starts out as a few loud sobs, but it doesn't take long
before she voices her pain. It is a long, loud wail, filled with agony and sorrow the likes of which one
could never think possible. In that moment, Samus feels her heart break, not just into pieces, but into
bloody shards, that turn into tears of unparalleled sadness. Gardevoir sobs once, takes a deep breath,
and wails again. This time, her knees give out, and they sink to the cold stone floor, sharing in each
other's pain.)
Mewtwo: GARDEVOOOIIIRRR!!!
(With a terrible wrenching noise, the entire wall of the cell is ripped off, flooding the tiny chamber with
light, but neither Gardevoir nor Samus notice. Gardevoir, mindless to everything except the need to
make her pain known, cries out once more. This time, the sound echoes in the cavernous chamber of
Asmodeus' lair, filling everyone's hearts with her sorrow. Everyone, except Asmodeus, of course.
However, Meta-Knight seems to have been hit the worst, by Gardevoir's cries of despair.)
MK: +Her sorrow, it is so... familiar. Yes, I had felt something much like this, when my wife...+ What
have I done?
(Mega Man, Blaziken and Sonic turn their focus on Meta-Knight, but he takes no notice. Instead, he
sprints toward Asmodeus, wielding his terrible blade, stopping just short of him. By now, Gardevoir's
wails had died down, and are not just pitiful sobs.)
MK: YOU!
(Many of the heads turn towards Meta-Knight.)
Asmodeus: Meta-Knight? What are you doing? Get back to your post, and defend this place against
those who would stand in my way!
MK: I will not!
Asmodeus: .... Go, now, Meta-Knight.
MK: I can't believe I didn't see it until now. You were controlling me! Well, no more! I will now take my
rightful place, beside my comrades, and we will vanquish you!
Asmodeus: Fascinating. And, just what do you hope to do? You know you cannot hurt me.
MK: Perhaps not physically, but I know something you don't want them to know.
Asmodeus: And what could that be?
(Meta-Knight turns to Ganondorf.)
MK: He hid the Giga-Smash coins inside himself, in his stomach.
Ganondorf: What?!
Asmodeus: WHAT!?
MK: I will prove it, by removing them, now.

(With that, Meta-Knight leaps at Asmodeus, bringing his wicked blade to bare, ready to carve the
precious coins out of his former master's body. However, Asmodeus casually grabs Meta-Knights sword
with his right hand, effectively bringing him to a halt.)
Asmodeus: Pathetic.
(Asmodeus raises his left hand, point-blank, in front of Meta-Knight's face. Without even trying, he
releases a huge bolt of pure destructive force full-on into Meta-Knight, sending him rocketing
backwards, hitting the wall on the far side of the massive chamber. Kirby, who just switched with
Blaziken, runs to his side. In this surreal moment, it is like they are alone, together.)
Kirby: {Meta-Knight! How badly are you hurt?!}
MK: K-k-... Kirby...
Kirby: {That's right, it's me, Kirby. I'm here, my friend.}
MK: .... {Kirby... I am dying.}
Kirby: {What? No... no! No, you'll be just fine, Meta-Knight! We'll get you to Doc's lab, and-}
MK: {No, Kirby, I can feel it.}
(Meta-Knight coughs hard, twice, and draws a shuddering breath.)
MK: {I'm afraid I b-betrayed... all of you. Do you-} (cough, hack) {Do you think... you can forgive me?}
(Tears are standing in Kirby's big, round eyes.)
Kirby: {Yes... I forgive you... We all forgive you.}
(Behind the heavy mask, Meta-Knight closes his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he smiles.)
MK: {Good.... thank you, Kirby. I am glad.}
(Meta-Knight coughs hard, and draws Kirby even closer to him.)
MK: {Kirby.... there is... something you must know... before I die. In the Halberd... the passcode is...
Marova.... you will know what to do, from there...}
Kirby: {Th-thank you, Meta-Knight.}
(Meta-Knight opens his eyes, and gasps.)
MK: {I can see her.... my wife... my love. Goodbye, Kirby. I can rest, knowing that... my people... are. . . .)
(Before Meta-Knight can finish his sentence... his breath leaves his body.... leaving Kirby to hold his still
form, and weep for his passing.)
Ganondorf: ....... What the-?
(Ganondorf looks around frantically.)
Ganondorf: He's gone! The Deity is gone!
Mario: Ridley too. They both escaped.

All My Brawlers

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All My Brawlers

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All My Brawlers ~ by Shryver on GameFAQs

Samus: Mario! Trouble!

Mario: Why? Do you think it's-a serious?

Samus: I can't be sure. We'd better get going.

(Doc walks away, head down, sobbing quietly)

Kirby: {I just happened to find Roy first, that's all.}

(Kirby's eyes start clouding up. Suddenly, he bursts into tears.)

Zelda: Truly? Could you show me one?

Zelda: Wouldn't that be something?

Zelda: Why, Pit, I'm surprised you asked! I just-

Pit (blushing harder): 8 o'clock, then. I'll be ready.

Pit: Hmm. 8 o'clock... (leaves library.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Later that night, after dinner ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zelda: Would you? That would be so very kind of you.

(About a half-hour later)

(Mario starts pacing back and forth in front of them.)

(General murmuring. Mario holds his hand up for silence.)

C. Falcon: You... you are... abandoning us?

C. Falcon: You're LEAVING US!?

Samus: So, without Mario.... what are we going to do?

(Peach sobs louder.)

Roy: (more gibberish)

(Marth's eyes start clouding up)

Roy: (gibberish in a worried tone)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zelda: Wonderful! You're so heroic, Pit!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

(Samus is in her gun-ship, recording her logs for the day)

(Samus takes a sip of her chamomile)

(Samus presses a couple buttons on her control console)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Saria: Is something wrong, Link?

(They turn over into a "spoons" position, and fall asleep)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ness: Mario's going to be gone.

Pichu: Pichu, chu, pi pi, pichu pi.

Ness: What's that, Kirby?

Nana: I know I'm not the most attractive female here-

(Pikachu, Jigglypuff and Kirby snort and start chuckling.)

Nana: What was that, Kirby?

Popo: Thanks. We try.

Pikachu: Pika-pi! Pikachu!

Kirby: {He said that it's settled. Tomorrow!}

Y. Link: Well, we ought to get to sleep, then! Good night, all.

Ness: Good night.

Popo/Nana: Good night.

(Jigglypuff sings them all to sleep, then falls asleep herself.)

(Ganondorf just nods. A quiet pervades for a while.)

(Mewtwo smiles at the moon)

Ganondorf: ..... You're right, I'm not sure if I wanted to know.

Mewtwo: <I'll be there.>

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

All three: ............. (more silence)...

(Meta-Knight and Fox both chuckle quietly.)

(Falco and Fox look at each other, grinning)

MK: Gentlemen, I will write my name in your organs with my sword.

(They exit the bridge.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Snake: Doesn't he have an accent, normally?

Snake (lights up cigarrete): See? Wario agrees with me.

Luigi: Right now, Wario would agree with potted-a plant.

Snake: Guh. Everyone at the mansion would be pissed at me if I left them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ At the same time ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~