0:11Khonh khc s tht ca ti khng n ngay lp tc.

Vo nm 2010, ti c c hi c cn nhc thng chc t

v tr hin ti ln gim c quy hoch cng ngca B ngoi giao M. y l c hi ti tin su thc y bn
thn t c mt v tr ng m c trong s cc cng vic hnh chnh cng. v ti va hon thnh mt d n ln ko
di 18 thng cho b trng Clinton v ti bit rng mnh c kh nng m ng mt nhim v ln hn
0:49Ti ngh mnh l ngi ph n s ni ng . Nhng trong 2 nm, ti i li gia Washington v Princeton, New
Jersey ni chng v hai a con trai thiu nin ca ti sinh sng v vic khng n cht no Ti c th cch ko
di thm 2 nm na Washington, hay ngh hai con trai v chng chuyn trng v ch lm on t vi ti. Tuy
nhin, trong su thm, ti bit rng s la chn ng n l nh, D ti khng nhn thc c y rng ngi
ph n no trong ti chn la chn
1:32 l mt s la chn da trn tnh yu v trch nhim. Ti khng th theo di con trai ln ca mnh phm sai
lm m khng c mt vi n khi v nu n cn n ti. Nhng s thay i tht s n mt cch t t. Sang nm
sau, khi gia nh ti t n n nh, ti bt u nhn ra rng k c khi ti c th quay tr li chnh ph, ti cng khng
mun th. Ti khng mun b l nm nm cui ca cc con ti nh.Cui cng, ti cho php bn thn chp nhn ci
no l quan trng nht i vi mnh,ch khng phi ci no ti mun hoc c th buc bn thn mun n, v quyt
nh dn ti vic xem xt li cu chuyn n quyn m ti ln ln cng vi n v lun lun xem n l kim ch anm
2:37Ti hon ton chp nhn cn nguyn ca s bnh ng nam n, nhng hy suy ngh s bnh ng thc cht l
g, v cch no tt nht t c n. Ti lun chp nhn quan nim rng nhng ngi c knh trng v quyn
lc nht trong x hi l nhng ngi t c chc v cao trong ngh nghip, do , nh lng v bnh ng nam
n c xu hng o lng xem c bao nhiu ph n nm gi cc v tr : th tng, ch tch, CEO, gim c, qun l,
nh khoa hc ot gii Nobel, nh lnh o. Ti vn ngh rng chng ta nn lm tt c nhng g c th t c
mc ch. Tuy nhin, mi ch l mt na ca s bnh ng v by gi, ti ngh rng ta s khng bao gi n c
nu khng nhn ra na cn li. Ti ngh rng bnh ng tht s, bnh ng hon ton, khng c ngha l nh gi
ph n trong cc lnh vc ca nam gii. M c ngha l to dng mt khong rng hn cho cc s la chn c tn
trng i vi c n v nam. V ti c , chng ta phi thay i mi trng lm vic cc chnh sch v vn ha
ca mnh.
4:11 ni lm vic, bnh ng tht s ngha l nh gi gia nh cng quan trng nh cng vic, v hiu rng hai lnh
vc thc y ln nhau. L mt ngi lnh o v mt nh qun l, ti lun hnh ng theo phng chm, nu gia
nh khng ng u, cng vic khng th ng th hai -- hai ci i cng nhau trong cuc sng.Nu bn lm vic
cho ti, v bn c mt vn v gia nh, ti mun bn gii quyt n, v ti tin rng, v s t tin ca ti lun c
chng minh, rng cng vic s sun s v c thc hin tt hn. Nhng nhn vin c l do tr v nh, chm sc
con ci hoc cc thnh vin trong gia nh, lun tp trung hn, hiu qu hn, ch trng n kt qu cng vic hn. V
ngi ch gia nh, cng l ngi em n s quan tm nhiu nht cho cc thnh vin cn li c phm vi rng hn v
kinh nghim v cc mi quan h. Hy ngh v mt lut s, ngi tri qua mt phn i ti cc s kin ca trng vi
con mnh, ni chuyn vi nhng ph huynh khc. Anh ta c xu hng mang n nhiu hn cc khch hng mi cho
cng ty so vi mt lut s khng bao gi ri khi vn phng. V s quan tm t n, pht trin tnh kin nhn rt nhiu
s kin nhn v tnh cm thng, sng to, s bn b v thch nghi. Tt c nhng c tnh ny thm ch cn quan trng
hn trong nn kinh t mng li ton cu ang pht trin nhanh chng.
5:47Nhng cng ty tt nht tht s bit iu . Cc cng ty t c gii thng v mi trng lm vic linh hot
M, bao gm mt vi trong s cc tp on thnh cng nht, v trong mt nghin cu tm quc gia vo nm 2008 v
thay i trong lc lng lao ng, ch ra rng nhng nhn vin linh hot v hiu qu nht ti ni lm vic, gn b vi
cng vic ca h hn, hc hi lng v trung thnh hn, h t gp stress hn, v c tinh thn lnh mnh hn. V mt

nghin cu nm 2012 v cc doanh nghip, ch ra rng cc hot ng su, linh hot, tht s gim thiu chi ph vn
hnh, v tng tnh thch nghi trong nn kinh t dch v ton cu.
6:31Do , bn c th ngh rng s u tin cng vic ln trn gia nh ch l vn ca nc M. Bun thay, s m
nh vi cng vic khng ch l cn bnh ca ring quc gia ny. Hai mi nm trc, khi gia nh ti ln u tin n
, chng ti c m mnh vo vn ha ng tra. Gic ng tra khng ch trnh ci nng trong ngy. N tht
s ging nh ta hng th hi m ca ba n gia nh. By gi, cng ngy cng c t cc hot ng gn vi ng
tra, phn nh s pht trin ca cc tp on ton cu, v s cnh tranh sut 24 gi. Do , vic dnh mt ni cho
nhng g chng ta yu qu, tht s l mt cp thit ton cu.
7:22Theo cc thut ng cng cng, bnh ng tht s c ngha l cng nhn rng cc cng vic m ph n lm mt
cch truyn thng cng quan trng nh, cc cng vic m nam gii lm, d ai l ngi thc hin n i chng na. Hy
ngh v iu ny : vic chu cp v chm sc l hai nhu cu cn thit nhau i vi s tn vong ca nhn loi. t nht,
nu chng ta i xa hn trong mt nn kinh t trao i, mt ai phi kim thu nhp v ngi kia phi chuyn i thu
nhp thnh s quan tm v thc n cho nhng ngi m h yu qu.
7:59Hu ht cc bn, khi nghe ni v vic chu cp v chm sc, theo bn nng s phin dch hai loi ny thnh cc
cng vic ca n ng v ph n. V chng ta khng th hi, ti sao cc cng vic ca nam gii li c cao
hn. Nhng hy th xem xt mt cp i ng gii nh cc bn ti, Sarah v Emily. H u l bc s tm l. H kt
hn 5 nm trc, v hin ti, h c mt cp song sinh 2 tui. H thch tr thnh nhng ngi m, nhng h cng yu
thch cng vic ca mnh, v h thc s rt gii. Vy, lm th no h phn chia cc trch nhim chu cp v chm
sc? Mt ngi trong s h nn ngh vic hoc gim thi gian lm vic nh? Hoc h nn thay i cch lm vic
ca mnh c hai u c thi gian biu linh hot hn? V h s da theo tiu chun no quyt nh vic ? Da
trn ai lm ra nhiu tin nhthay ai cam kt vi cng vic nhiu nht? Hoc ai c sp linh ng nht?
9:03Vin cnh ng gii gip chng ta thy rng, gia nh v cng vic khng phi l nhng vn ca n gii chng
l vn ca gia nh. V Sarah v Emily l nhng ngi may mn, v h u c cc s la chn v vic h mun lm
vic nh th no.Hng triu n ng v ph n phi ng vai tr l c ngi chu cp v chm sc, ch kim thu
nhp m h cn, v rt nhiu ngi trong s cc nhn vin xo trn hai vic . H cng nhau rp ni cc tha thun
chm sc mt cch khng tha ngv thng thc s khng an ton. Nu vic chu cp v chm sc cho gia nh tht
s bnh ng, th ti sao chnh ph khng u t vo c s h tng phc v cho vic chm sc gia nh cng nh mt
t chc x hi lnh mnh nh khi u t vo cc c s h tng nh xng sng ca mt nn kinh t thnh cng?
10:01Chnh ph no thc hin c iu khng ly g lm ngc nhin rng cc chnh ph thc hin c iu l
Na Uy, Thy in, an Mch, H Lan, cung cp cc dch v chm sc tr em ph qut, h tr nhng ngi chm sc
gia nh ti nh,trng hc, v gio dc tr em sm, cc bo h cho ph n mang thai v quan tm n ngi gi v
ngi tn tt. Cc chnh ph ny u t vo cc c s h tngging nh cch h u t vo ng x, cu cng v
ng hm, tu in. Cc x hi ny cng ch ra cho bn rng vic chu cp v chm sc gia nh thc y ln
nhau. Cc quc gia ny vn u n lt vo top 15 quc gia c nn kinh t ton cu cnh tranh pht trin nht, nhng
cng lc, h c xp hng rt cao v ch s cuc sng tt hn ca OECD. Tht ra, cc quc gia c xp hng
cao hn cc chnh ph khc, nh chng ta, M, hoc Thy S, nhng nc c mc thu nhp bnh qun trn u ngi
cao hn, nhng c ch s xp hng v s cn bng gia cng vic v cuc sng thp hn.
11:14Do , vic thay i mi trng lm vic v xy dng cc c s h tng dnh cho vic chm sc gia nh c th
em n mt s thay i ln. Tuy nhin, chng ta khng th t c s cn bng v gi tr gia cc la chn tr khi ta

thay i vn ha ca chnh mnh, v s thay i v vn ha ny i hi cc phng tin x hi ha li nam gii. ( V

tay) Ti cc quc gia pht trin, ph n ngy cng c x hi ha tin rng v tr ca chng ta khng ch l x
bp, nhng n ng thc s vn cha c s thay i. H vn c x hi ha tin rng, h phi l ngi chu cp
trong gia nh, rng gi tr bn thn ca h bt ngun t vic c th leo cao n u so vi nhng ngi khc trong nc
thang s nghip. Cuc cch mng n quyn vn cn mt con ng rt di trc mt. N chc chn vn cha hon
thnh. Nhng 60 nm sau " B n n gii" c xut bn, rt nhiu ph n tht s c nhiu s la chn hn nam
gii. Chng ta c th quyt nh tr thnh ngi chu cp, ngi chm sc, hoc c hai Nhng mt khc, nu mt ngi
n ng, quyt nh tr thnh ngi chm sc, anh y t nam tnh ca mnh sang mt bn. Bn b ca anh ta c
th chc mng cho quyt nh , nhng trong su thm, h ang gi u. Liu c ng khng nu nh gi mt
ngi n ng bng ch khi cnh tranh vi nhng ngi n ng khc v quyn lc v s thnh vng? V nhiu ph
n cng gi quan im ny. Chng ta bit rng nhiu ph n vn nh gi hp dn ca mt ngi n ng bng
mc thnh cng ca anh ta trong cng vic. Mt ngi ph n c th ngh lm v vn l mt ngi bn i hp
dn. Nhng vi n ng, l iu kh mo him. Do , vi t cch l nhng bc ph huynh, v v chng chng ta
nn cho cc con trai v chng mnh m nhn bt c vai tr no m h mong mun cho d l ngi chm sc,
hoc ngi chu cp. Chng ta nn x hi ho h khin cho vic chm sc cng tr nn tuyt vi cho nam gii. ( V
tay )
13:38Ti c th nghe thy nhiu ngi trong s cc bn ang ngh rng : " Khng th no". Tuy nhin, s thay i
tht s v ang din ra. t nht, M, nhiu nam gii ph trch vic nu nng v cc cng vic bp nc
khc. H lm vic trong cc phng sinh . H c th ngh php chm sc a con mi sinh bt c khi no h
mun. H c th a con i do, hay nng nu mt a tr cng gii giang nh nhng ngi v vy V h ang lm
cng ngy cng nhiu cc cng vic ni tr.Tht ra, hin ti h l nhng sinh vin nam sn sng ni rng, " Ti mun
lm mt ngi b nh". l iu hon ton cha bao gi c ngh n trong 50 hoc thm ch 30 nm trc. V
Na Uy, ni m nam gii c 3 thng t ng ngh php khi c con mi sinh, nhng h s mt quyn ny nu h quyt
nh khng ngh, mt nhn vin cp cao ca chnh ph ni vi ti rng cc cng ty ang bt u ch ticc nhn vin
nam tim nng, v nhu my nu h khng thc hin k ngh php khi c con. iu ngha l vic ny ang bt
u c xem xt nh mt im yunu khng tr thnh mt ngi cha c trch nhim.
14:56Do , ti bt u tin rng cc quyn cho n gii ngha l lm tt c nhng g chng ta c th a n gii
ln nh cao. V ti vn hi vng rng mnh s sng lu chng kin n ng v ph n i din ngang hng ti tt
c cc cp bc ca lc lng lao ng. Nhng ti cng tin rng chng ta phi coi trng gia nh tt c cc kha cnh
nh cng vic, v chng ta nn nui dng tng rng lm nhng g chng ta yu thch s khin ta tr nn tt hn
trong mi vic ta lm.
15:35Ba mi nm trc, Carol Gilligan, mt nh tm l hc tuyt vi, nghin cu v nhng thiu n, v nhn ra rng
gi tr ca s quan tm, mt trong nhng yu t ca bn cht loi ngi cng quan trng nh gi tr ca cng l. Ha ra
cu " bn khng quan tm " cng l mt phn ca vic chng ta l ai nh " iu khng cng bng ". Bill Gates cng
ng vi iu ny. ng l lun rng hai sc mnh ln nht ca bn cht con ngi l quyn li bn thn v s quan
tm n ngi khc. Hy em hai th li gn nhau. Hy bin cuc cch mng n quyn thnh mt cuc cch mng
nhn vn. Tt c mi ngi, chng ta s tr thnh nhng ngi chu cp v chm sc tt hn. Bn c th ngh rng
iu ny l khng th, nhng ti ln ln mt x hi, m m ti nm i nhiu hp thuc l trong cc ba tic
ti, ni m ngi da trng v ngi da en phi s dng cc nh v sinh ring, v ni m mi ngi ch cng nhn
rng mnh d tnh. Hin nay, khng c qu nhiu bin chuyn.Cuc cch mng v quyn bnh ng ca con ngi c
th xy ra. ang xy ra. s xy ra. Nhanh v xa nh th no u tu thuc vo chng ta.

So my moment of truth did not come all at once. In 2010, I had the chance to be considered for promotion from my
job as director of policy planning at the U.S. State Department. This was my moment to lean in, to push myself
forward for what are really only a handful of the very top foreign policy jobs, and I had just finished a big, 18-month
project for Secretary Clinton, successfully, and I knew I could handle a bigger job.
0:49The woman I thought I was would have said yes. But I had been commuting for two years between Washington and
Princeton, New Jersey, where my husband and my two teenage sons lived, and it was not going well. I tried on the idea
of eking out another two years in Washington, or maybe uprooting my sons from their school and my husband from his
work and asking them to join me. But deep down, I knew that the right decision was to go home, even if I didn't fully
recognize the woman who was making that choice.
1:32That was a decision based on love and responsibility. I couldn't keep watching my oldest son make bad
choices without being able to be there for him when and if he needed me. But the real change came more
gradually. Over the next year, while my family was righting itself, I started to realize that even if I could go back into
government, I didn't want to. I didn't want to miss the last five years that my sons were at home. I finally allowed myself
to accept what was really most important to me, not what I was conditioned to want or maybe what I conditioned myself
to want,and that decision led to a reassessment of the feminist narrative that I grew up withand have always
championed.
2:37I am still completely committed to the cause of male-female equality, but let's think about what that equality really
means, and how best to achieve it. I always accepted the idea that the most respected and powerful people in our
society are men at the top of their careers, so that the measure of male-female equality ought to be how many women
are in those positions: prime ministers, presidents, CEOs, directors, managers, Nobel laureates, leaders. I still think we
should do everything we possibly can to achieve that goal. But that's only half of real equality, and I now think we're
never going to get there unless we recognize the other half. I suggest that real equality, full equality, does not just mean
valuing women on male terms. It means creating a much wider range of equally respected choices for women and for
men.And to get there, we have to change our workplaces, our policies and our culture.
4:11In the workplace, real equality means valuing family just as much as work, and understanding that the two reinforce
each other. As a leader and as a manager, I have always acted on the mantra, if family comes first, work does not come
second --life comes together. If you work for me, and you have a family issue, I expect you to attend to it, and I am
confident, and my confidence has always been borne out, that the work will get done, and done better. Workers who
have a reason to get home to care for their children or their family members are more focused, more efficient, more
results-focused. And breadwinners who are also caregivers have a much wider rangeof experiences and
contacts. Think about a lawyer who spends part of his time at school events for his kids talking to other parents. He's
much more likely to bring innew clients for his firm than a lawyer who never leaves his office. And caregiving
itselfdevelops patience -- a lot of patience -- and empathy, creativity, resilience, adaptability. Those are all attributes that
are ever more important in a high-speed, horizontal, networked global economy.
5:47The best companies actually know this. The companies that win awards for workplace flexibility in the United
States include some of our most successful corporations, and a 2008 national study on the changing workforce showed
that employees in flexible and effective workplaces are more engaged with their work,they're more satisfied and more
loyal, they have lower levels of stress and higher levels of mental health. And a 2012 study of employers showed that
deep, flexible practices actually lowered operating costs and increased adaptability in a global service economy.

6:31So you may think that the privileging of work over family is only an American problem.Sadly, though, the obsession
with work is no longer a uniquely American disease.Twenty years ago, when my family first started going to Italy, we
used to luxuriate in the culture of siesta. Siesta is not just about avoiding the heat of the day. It's actually just as
much about embracing the warmth of a family lunch. Now, when we go, fewer and fewer businesses close for
siesta, reflecting the advance of global corporationsand 24-hour competition. So making a place for those we love is
actually a global imperative.
7:22In policy terms, real equality means recognizing that the work that women have traditionally done is just as
important as the work that men have traditionally done, no matter who does it. Think about it: Breadwinning and
caregiving are equally necessary for human survival. At least if we get beyond a barter economy, somebody has to earn
an income and someone else has to convert that income to care and sustenance for loved ones.
7:59Now most of you, when you hear me talk about breadwinning and caregiving,instinctively translate those
categories into men's work and women's work. And we don't typically challenge why men's work is advantaged. But
consider a same-sex couple like my friends Sarah and Emily. They're psychiatrists. They got married five years
ago, and now they have two-year-old twins. They love being mothers, but they also love their work, and they're really
good at what they do. So how are they going to divide up breadwinning and caregiving responsibilities? Should one of
them stop working or reduce hours to be home? Or should they both change their practices so they can have much
more flexible schedules? And what criteria should they use to make that decision? Is it who makes the most money or
who is most committed to her career? Or who has the most flexible boss?
9:03The same-sex perspective helps us see that juggling work and family are not women's problems, they're family
problems. And Sarah and Emily are the lucky ones,because they have a choice about how much they want to
work. Millions of men and women have to be both breadwinners and caregivers just to earn the income they need, and
many of those workers are scrambling. They're patching together care arrangements that are inadequate and often
actually unsafe. If breadwinning and caregiving are really equal, then why shouldn't a government invest as much in an
infrastructure of care as the foundation of a healthy society as it invests in physical infrastructure as the backbone of a
successful economy?
10:01The governments that get it -- no surprises here -- the governments that get it,Norway, Sweden, Denmark, the
Netherlands, provide universal child care, support for caregivers at home, school and early childhood
education, protections for pregnant women, and care for the elderly and the disabled. Those governments invest in that
infrastructure the same way they invest in roads and bridges and tunnels and trains.Those societies also show you that
breadwinning and caregiving reinforce each other. They routinely rank among the top 15 countries of the most globally
competitive economies, but at the same time, they rank very high on the OECD Better Life Index.In fact, they rank
higher than other governments, like my own, the U.S., or Switzerland, that have higher average levels of income but
lower rankings on work-life balance.
11:14So changing our workplaces and building infrastructures of care would make a big difference, but we're not going
to get equally valued choices unless we change our culture, and the kind of cultural change required means resocializing men.(Applause) Increasingly in developed countries, women are socialized to believe that our place is no
longer only in the home, but men are actually still where they always were. Men are still socialized to believe that they
have to be breadwinners, that to derive their self-worth from how high they can climb over other men on a career
ladder. The feminist revolution still has a long way to go. It's certainly not complete.But 60 years after "The Feminine
Mystique" was published, many women actually have more choices than men do. We can decide to be a breadwinner, a
caregiver, or any combination of the two. When a man, on the other hand, decides to be a caregiver, he puts his

manhood on the line. His friends may praise his decision, but underneath, they're scratching their heads. Isn't the
measure of a man his willingness to compete with other men for power and prestige? And as many women hold that
view as men do. We know that lots of women still judge the attractiveness of a manbased in large part on how
successful he is in his career. A woman can drop out of the work force and still be an attractive partner. For a man,
that's a risky proposition.So as parents and partners, we should be socializing our sons and our husbands to be
whatever they want to be, either caregivers or breadwinners. We should be socializing them to make caregiving cool for
guys. (Applause)
13:38I can almost hear lots of you thinking, "No way." But in fact, the change is actually already happening. At least in
the United States, lots of men take pride in cooking,and frankly obsess over stoves. They are in the birthing
rooms. They take paternity leave when they can. They can walk a baby or soothe a toddler just as well as their wives
can, and they are increasingly doing much more of the housework. Indeed, there are male college students now who
are starting to say, "I want to be a stay-at-home dad." That was completely unthinkable 50 or even 30 years ago. And in
Norway, where men have an automatic three month's paternity leave, but they lose it if they decide not to take it, a high
government official told me that companies are starting to look at prospective male employees and raise an eyebrow if
they didn't in fact take their leave when they had kids. That means that it's starting to seem like a character defect not to
want to be a fully engaged father.
14:56So I was raised to believe that championing women's rights meant doing everything we could to get women to the
top. And I still hope that I live long enough to see men and women equally represented at all levels of the work
force. But I've come to believe that we have to value family every bit as much as we value work, and that we should
entertain the idea that doing right by those we love will make all of us better at everything we do.
15:35Thirty years ago, Carol Gilligan, a wonderful psychologist, studied adolescent girls and identified an ethic of
care, an element of human nature every bit as important as the ethic of justice. It turns out that "you don't care" is just
as much a part of who we areas "that's not fair." Bill Gates agrees. He argues that the two great forces of human
nature are self-interest and caring for others. Let's bring them both together. Let's make the feminist revolution a
humanist revolution. As whole human beings, we will be better caregivers and breadwinners. You may think that can't
happen, but I grew up in a society where my mother put out small vases of cigarettes for dinner parties,where blacks
and whites used separate bathrooms, and where everybody claimed to be heterosexual. Today, not so much. The
revolution for human equality can happen.It is happening. It will happen. How far and how fast is up to us.
16:58Thank you.
17:00(Applause)