Mike@communicator Pro

Im communicating, why arent you? (damn it!
)
The Keys to Effective Person-to-Person Communications
Mike Harkins
Writesite Communications & Design
and
Communicator.pro
Media & Communications consultant, and
author of The Way to Communicate, a philosophical and practical method for effective
personal communications
www.communicator.pro
www.writesite.com
mike@communicator.pro / 877-311-0577
0
Everyone has a different style of
communication, and organizations develop

styles of communication based on the
organizations leadership.
That makes for some interesting issues when

an organizations leadership changes every
few years
and no one knows that more than the

organizations executive director, because
the ED position is often the only constant in a
nonprofit.
Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

877-311-0577 mike@communicator.pro
The result is that the ED, who has embraced

the job and who keeps the organizations
wheels turning, experiences the frustration of
having a new style of leadership and
decision-making imposed, again, into her
otherwise smoothly operating realm.
It sometimes feels frustrating, and like theres

a lack of clear communication

Well, cant really do anything about the

structure that brings in the new bossand
overall, thats probably a good thing
anyway.

Doesnt mean that the new leadership that

comes in is any happier about everything
either.
Communication is, after all, supposed be bidirectional

Its not an impossible situation; far from it,

actually.
EDs hold the keysthey just need some

insights.

Because, as everyone here today knows
EDs are the face and voice of the

organization. Thats a powerful, important
position.

Im here to point our a few things from a

communicators perspective. Its easier for me to
do it, because Im the objective observer.

Ive been around and involved in every kind of
communications situation that exists, for nonprofits,
and in every commercial industry sector.

I picked up so much information along the way,
Ive got a book full of that information coming out
later this year.
The Way to Communicate is an accumulation of
thirty years watching some of the best, and worst,

communicators and putting the best of
communications insights together for anyone who
wishes to be a better, effective communicator.

In 1976, I was a roadie for a pretty good band. They

became a great band, did well, and I continued to
work for a lot of other great bands.
I was also an actor (occasionally paid, even),
muralist, and musician (occasionally paid, even).
Bands and entertainers can be great

communicators, and all the production, and the
organization, and the marketing, all of it, provided
a unique foundation for my years after the road.

Yep, thats a Michael Jackson tour pass.

I have some talent for creativity, so over

the years Ive developed and provided
communications and media projects
using all the creative mediums: writing,
editing, design, illustrations, live event and
video production, for marketing,

advertising, publishing, speech coaching
and presenter training.

Much of what I do now is personal

appearance coaching, public speaking
skills and presenter training, presentation
and media consulting, writing and editing.

10
I do also have an AIA connection. Im

privileged to call Lou Naidorf, an AIA fellow
and lifetime award recipient, my good friend.
You may not know the name, but youve

seen his buildings. His first commercial design
project at the age of twenty-three was the
Capitol Records building, which is now an

historic landmark. His buildings are marvelous
(he also did the Dallas Hyatt), and he is an
extraordinary person.

11
Communication is easy and flowing when it

works, confusing and frustrating when it doesnt.
There are insights, perspectives and techniques

that can ease and diffuse some of your
communication issues and situations. Theyre
easily learned simply by being aware of them,
and using them as the basis for how you
communicate, and for dealing with people you
wish communicated more effectively.

12
These are not all the keys to better

communications, but they are foundational
for some of your issues and situations.

13
Perception its too often many peoples

reality. Our media-saturated world is full of
examples, and its a major factor in everyones
daily lives.
Perception may not have anything to do with

reality, but it may be the only reality someone
hasand they hold onto it.
The wrong perception is often the key to
communication misunderstandings, and great

communicators know this; when you accept
that your own perception of something may
not be accurate through no fault of your own
youre immediately in a better
communicating position.
14
So, theres perception

15
and perception

16
and perception

17
As a communicator, it comes back to

you to accept and understand that the
your perception of something may not
be quite correct, because you might
not have all the information.
That also apples to the person on the
other end of the communication.
This is where the phrase dont take it

personally applies.

18
There is always a reason for certain

responses or reactions.

19
Any of us, at any given time, may be dealing

with something that, while were not sharing
it with the world, it affects the way we react

to the world.
If youre communicating, and the other side

doesnt seem to be responding in a way that
seemsappropriate

20
An uncalled for, unusual or

nonsensical response is almost
certainly not about you.
It will not excuse poor behavior, or
exaggerated, non-appropriate
responses or actions, but it will help
you realize that some tough
communication situations arent

about what you said or did, theyre
really about something else.

21
Expectations got any?

22
If I dont know your expectations, I

cant meet them.

23
It wasnt intended to look like a

stack of recordsit was
intended to meet the clients
expectations.
Heres a story about Lou

Naidorf, and expectations
mettwice.

24
Meet the new boss, same as the old

boss, but without the benefit of
knowing what you do.
Ya gotta communicate it.

25
Of course, you have to know what

you do to tell someone else what
you do.
You do know what you do, right?

And how long it takes, and

26
Undefined expectations with

nebulous guidelines are
unmanageable, and arent realistic
expectations.
They are the catalysts for

communication problems.

27
What you recognize about them, and they

recognize about you.

28
These appear simple, but

accepting them all the time is
important.

29
Again, your acceptance of these

may not make the fourth point
any less frustrating

30
Be proactive.
Its the best way to control your own
destiny (and stay on top of any
communication situations).

31
You know you do.

32
Its in your best interest.

33
You can celebrate louder, later,

34
To reproach is to blame; be
above it.
Dont let yourself drift into
reproachable territory.

35
Were reviewing how to be a
better communicator here, but

you can get selfish on this if it
works for you, i.e.,

Meet a deadline because it
will make your life easier.

Same with all your other
deliverables.

36
Be early,
Be a step ahead,
Be easy to contact,
Be solution-oriented (dont just
locate and point out a situation,
have an action or alternative
ready).

37
If you take care of everything

for them, theyll soar
and you WILL benefit from it.
One of the great rewards about

successfully communicating is
when people talk to other
people about how good you
are (Our ED put on this
networking wine tasting event,
and it was great!)

38
Use what you know to your

benefit:
Whos going to be looking for
something first?
How is the board going to react to
this?
Last year, when this happened, no
one even noticed. This year, Im
going to

39
If youre going to lead/conduct successfully,

you need to stay ahead of everything and
everyone.
So, plan, then execute.

40
Never make them search for you

remember, youre the conductor,
you know where the score is going,
and youre the focal point; even if
they dont say it, they look to you for
all the answers.
My gosh, what a great way to be in

charge (and still let the board chair
feel that its all because of him)

41
Find a system that works for

youbut dont let it interfere with
the workings of the organization.
Your system should assist you in
doing your job. to keep the lines

of communication open and
working.

42
The practical stuff: counter-punches,

footwork, and strategy.
How to (respectfully) win all those

little communicating battles.

43
Dazzle em with fancy footwork

44
Here, hold thisIll be right back.

45
Youre not infallible; stuff happens and

the time waits for no one.
Remember, stay ahead. Adjustments

and changes are acceptable in most
cases, as long as theres reasonable
time to make the adjustment.
And never subscribe to its better to

ask for forgiveness than it is permission

46
Everyone wants it
The best communicators give it
under even the most trying

circumstances.

47
Dont wait to deal with a situation

that is clearly inappropriate.
Communicate it.

48
Conspiracy?
Not really probable

49
And dont expect to get
anything in return.
Try it its pretty rewarding

50
After everything else, you bet you

can revel, a little.
You have to communicate to

people how good things happen,
especially if theyre happening

because of you.

51
Yeah, baby.

52
Carry these keys with you and open up

some effective communication
opportunities.

53
So, lets talk.

54
The Way to Communicate

Michael W. Harkins
Release date: late summer, 2010
Portsmouth Publishing, Berkeley, California
www.writesite.com
877-311-0577 / mike@communicator.pro
Blog: www.thewaytocommunicate.wordpress.com
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeharkins
(a copy of todays presentation will be available via

SlideShare on Mikes LinkedIn page)
To read an excerpt from The Way to Communicate,
and other works by Mike, go to his Scribd page:
www.scribd.com/michaelharkins

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Im communicating, why arent you? (damn it!

Everyone has a different style of

communication, and organizations develop

That makes for some interesting issues when

and no one knows that more than the

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

The result is that the ED, who has embraced

otherwise smoothly operating realm.

It sometimes feels frustrating, and like theres

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Well, cant really do anything about the

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Doesnt mean that the new leadership that

Communication is, after all, supposed be bidirectional

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Its not an impossible situation; far from it,

EDs hold the keysthey just need some

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Because, as everyone here today knows

EDs are the face and voice of the

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Im here to point our a few things from a

do it, because Im the objective observer.

and in every commercial industry sector.

thirty years watching some of the best, and worst,

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

In 1976, I was a roadie for a pretty good band. They

muralist, and musician (occasionally paid, even).

Bands and entertainers can be great

a unique foundation for my years after the road.

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

I have some talent for creativity, so over

video production, for marketing,

and presenter training.

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Much of what I do now is personal

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

I do also have an AIA connection. Im

and lifetime award recipient, my good friend.

You may not know the name, but youve

Capitol Records building, which is now an

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Communication is easy and flowing when it

There are insights, perspectives and techniques

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

These are not all the keys to better

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Perception its too often many peoples

Perception may not have anything to do with

The wrong perception is often the key to

communication misunderstandings, and great

So, theres perception

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

As a communicator, it comes back to

That also apples to the person on the

other end of the communication.

This is where the phrase dont take it

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications

There is always a reason for certain

Mike Harkins The Keys to Effective Person-to Person Communications