December 2014 Vol 1, Issue 7

Celebrating
the
Coolest
Stuff
in
Northwest
Missouri

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THE REGULAR JOE

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From the Desk of Joe Northwest

Mindi L. Phillips, Editor

My favorite time of year is upon us. As the holiday feasts and shiny decorations tease the senses, my mind is
also alive with the spirit of giving and being thankful to be surrounded by loved ones. I am also reflecting on the
past year and pondering resolutions for the year to come.
I, as many of us do, tend to overindulge in rich meals and forget to put my health in front of my instant gratifications. I will be a bit more mindful of this, though, as I head into my second year as a health coach. When it comes
down to being able to enjoy more this year or to enjoy more years of this, I would certainly choose the latter.
As a heavy procrastinator, its common for me to
still have my Halloween decorations up at the beginning of December and Christmas decorations hastily
thrown up around mid-month. I said previously that
I am attracted by shiny decorations. I did not say I
was exceptionally adept at getting them displayed in
Its never to early to start
a timely manner.
One task at which I am practiced and polished is
saving for their future.
that of making resolutions. Now this is not just a New
Open a BTC Bank Savings Account Today!
Years habit for me, but one which I grab hold firmly whatever the season and work diligently until the
change is complete. Or not. As you may well know,
sometimes the setting of the goal becomes more the
challenge than the completion, and sometimes it turns
out that the result is just not worth the effort. Or maybe midway through the year, our focus or need changes. Whatever the case, I can tell you that my life has
changed dramatically over the course of the past year,
some good, some bad, most educational, and a few
just more lessons in futility. I come in fresh as that
New Year baby himself, and I often finish weathered
and nearly beaten, much like that old man, Father
Time. I would not have it any other way.
What I know is true and as dear to my heart as
ever is my love for tradition. Now, many changes
have occured in the Phillips household in the past several months, but I will still smile at a sparkling frost,
my heart will race with the excitement of shopping
for just the right gift for my children, and the stockings and mistletoe will hang in our home once again...
eventually.

SAVINGS

Mindi
cover photo by Libbi Bubke

Our Regular Contributors:

Jay Kerner, founder
Mindi Phillips, publisher/editor
Danny Phillips, music
Rich Piper, editorial
Devyn Porter, lifestyle
Thomas Williams, movies
Contact Regular Joe Northwest
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northwest@regularjoepaper.com
PO Box 76
Union Star, MO 64494
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New And Ongoing Live Music Events...

CLARKSDALE
Sundays: Clarksdale Opry, 2pm (Hawman Center)
FILLMORE
Fri 12/5: Music and Dance, 7pm (Fillmore Community Hall)
GRANT CITY
Wednesdays: Jam Session, 6pm (Senior Center)
KING CITY
Sat 12/6: Rock N Country Variety Show, 7pm (Tri County Visitors Center)
MARYVILLE
Thu 12/4: Mountain Sprout, 8pm (The Palms)
Sundays: Northwest Opry Country, 2pm (Nodaway County Senior Center)
Sun 12/14: Forney and Paxson, 7pm (Eagles Lodge Bearcat Aerie No. 3669)
OREGON
Thursdays: Country Music Dance 7pm (TJ Hall Community Building)
PATTONSBURG
Saturdays: Green River Band 7pm (potluck at 6pm) (Wagon Wheel)
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Fridays: Savannah Country Jamboree, 6pm (Andrew Co Senior Center)

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From the Shelf: Christmas Edition

Danny R. Phillips
Christmas is not my favorite holiday. It is not that Im the living,
breathing example of Charles Dickens yuletide hater, the one and
old Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol. Its also a safe bet
that Christmas joy and revelry doesnt ooze forth from every fiber
of my being. Id say for me, its more indifference than indignation.
Each year, I grow wearier of the holiday as it encroaches earlier and
earlier into the year until now, the rush for the all-powerful Christmas dollar begins the day after Halloween or
sometimes sooner.
The worst part of the hurry for holly, for
me at least, is the music. Sweet Baby Jesus,
the music. Each year, we are bombarded with
dogs barking Jingle Bells, Grandmas being
murdered in hit and run accidents perpetrated
by woodland creatures, and Little Brenda Lee
rockin around the pagan symbol of the holidays roots. For this installment of From the
Shelf, I will propose a list of acceptable Christmas music for this years Winter Wonderland.
Father Christmas - The Kinks: The story
of flat broke hooligans robbing St. Nick. What
better way to spread holiday cheer than a good,
old-fashioned fist beating?
Jesus Christ - Big Star: A stand-out track on the genius Memphis, Tennessee groups experimental, boundary-pushing third album titled 3rd with Jesus Christ, Alex Chilton sings the praises of
the Messiah entering the world to wash it clean.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Bad Religion: Why would a
band like Bad Religion, fronted by Greg Graffin, a devout atheist
and Professor of evolutionary biology at Cornell, record an entire
album of Christmas classics, you might ask? Because, my friends,
there is nothing more punk rock than a non-believer belting out
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing with all the conviction and reverence of a preacher on Christmas morn.
I Wish It Was Christmas Today - Julian Casablancas: Casablancas took a song written by comedian Horatio Sanz for a skit on
Saturday Night Live and turned it into a raucous, energetic, and wild
contemporary Christmas classic.
Christmas in Hollis - Run DMC: I am old enough to remember Run DMC in all their Adidas and gold rope chained glory. A
shout out to their home neighborhood in Hollis Queens, it is a story
of what the big man brought to their holiday. Plus, their moms
are cooking up collard greens, black eyed peas, and macaroni and

Joe Music - 5

cheese. I want to spend Christmas at their house.

Fairytale of New York- The Pogues: Quite possibly the greatest non-religious Christmas song ever recorded, Irish group The
Pogues spin a tale of dreams dreamt and hope lost. The main characters come to America for a wonderful life, but all they find is poverty,
domestic violence, alcoholism, and what its like to spend Jesuss
birthday in the drunk tank of the NYPD.
Pretty Paper - Willie Nelson: This song makes the list because,
well, its Willie Nelson, and hes the Man.
Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis - Tom Waits: Tom Waits is a truly
great lyrist and storyteller, goes for the throat
from the get-go with words that nearly every
man is scared to hear: Charlie, Im pregnant.
There you have it, snow bunnies, my list of
acceptable Christmas songs. Therefore, next
time you are in a department store, grocery, or
your dentist office and they are torturing you
with Rosemary Clooney for the hundredth
time in the month, wipe your mind clean like
an Etch a Sketch, put a smile on your wind
burnt face, and let The Vandals Oi to the
World take you to your happy place. Works
every time.
Danny Phillips music and pop culture musings regularly appear
in online and print publications including Missouri Life Magazine,
Blurt Magazine, Deli Magazine, Popshifter, and The Regular Joe.
Listen to his free form podcast Dont Have a Clue the 2nd Saturday of every month at 4pm on www.stjosephmusicfoundation.org

Mon-Sat 3pm-1:30am
Sun Noon-Midnight
21 and over, ID required
NO credit cards
Pool Table & Shuffleboard

136 Highway, Albany, MO

6-Joe Movies

A Frank Review

Thomas Williams
Frank 2014 ****

Frank is the type of film I am not really

sure if a review can ever do justice. It is a
bizarrely inventive musical dramedy about a
young, wannabe-musician who finally gets his
shot on stage and hopeful stardom when he is
asked to fill in (last minute-like) for an eccentric alterna-pop band called Soronprfbs fronted
by Frank (whom you see on the movies poster
-- yes, that is him, and no...the film is not animated).
Tired of his dreary and dull life in a quiet
seaside British town, Jon (Domhnall Gleeson About Time) jumps at the opportunity to play
backup for a band in town performing a gig after the bands keyboardist tried to drown himself in the ocean. As a dreamer and an aspiring
songwriter, Jon makes the most of time with
the band and is eventually asked to help them
record their next album.
Moving into a quaint cottage in a lakeside
forest, Jon and the band mates live together
and isolate themselves from all others. Their
manager (Scoot McNairy - Argo) is the only
person with contact to the outside world, save
Jon, who still communicates via social media and secretly advertises his
new band to random YouTube followers. He creates such a sensationalized what the!? regarding Frank (Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a
Slave), he (Frank) becomes somewhat of an unknown celebrity as Frank

appears to wear a paper-mch mask over his

head ALL the time.
When their album is finished -- an album Frank expects few to actually you know,
like, listen to or buy -- the band is surprised
to find out theyve been invited to the South
by Southwest Festival in Austin, Texas, which
they willingly yet reluctantly agree to attend.
It is here that things quickly head south as
Jons vision for his band conflicts greatly with
the other unifed intentions of Soronprfbs.
The entire film is a quirky ode to artistic genius contrasted with anothers desire for fame
and celebrity. The two worlds clash when the
genius loves his work more than fame and
the one desiring fame has little talent of his
own. Is there middle ground...or is the band
doomed? Maggie Gyllenhaal (Crazy Heart)
plays a theremin-playing band mate who despises Jon and is Franks sometime lover.
Frank (both the film and the character) are
truly out there and curiously odd, but I found
them to be very endearing. The more I look
back on this film, the more I realize how much
I enjoyed it (as I believe it ends perfectly). It
raises some debatable questions/topics and is
ripe for a dissection -- but good luck finding
enough people whod want to sit through it all

to carry one out.

The film just might be artistic genius...and genius is highly misunder-

stood. To quote Frank: I love you allllll!!!!!!!!!!!

Sing the Songs of Christmas

Rich Piper

The passage of time through winter is marked

by many things from the first snow fall, to the
first skidding tires sliding over the roadway; all
the way until the melting of the last remnants of
snow and the first fruitful buds of flowers.
In between, during this colder, darker, less
hospitable season, there are two remarkable
milestones that seemingly transform us, if only
for a while, to warmer, lighter, cordial creatures.
Those milestones, Christmas and the passage
into the New Year, never change the temperature
outside, but often seem to account for a warming
of the temperature inside our persons.
Certainly Christmas has been broadened,
civically and commercially, into the holidays
with a variety of secular and spiritual activities;
sales of decorations and gift items, often before the Thanksgiving turkey has been cooked,
carved, and consumed; and with incessant advertising designed to open up our wallets and purses
for that most meaningful merchandise yet marketed to mankind.
Yet, there is also the soft background music
of songs of coming home for Christmas, winters
wonderland, kids and Santa, and of a Saviors
birth. All joining joy and hope and love in a harmonious effort that warms the heart.
It is this music that, of all the holiday stimuli, seems to most easily invade my very being,
capture my subconscious, and have me strolling
the aisles of Wal-Mart or other stores humming
along, and even sometimes singing aloud, but
hopefully softly, as I go about the task of shopping for a this or a that. Occasionally, perhaps
even worse to admit, it sometimes sparks within
me a desire, which I easily surrender to, that results in my softly singing aloud a completely different Christmas song.
As I share this I dare not pause to think that
others might actually hear me, and what they
might think of that graying older man and his
humming and singing, but I do know that such
impulses fill my heart with joy and set my mind
into a state of ease and relaxation. I trust that
of whatever a stranger might take away from
encountering me melodically moving through
the aisles, they will at least notice a warm smile

upon my face. And that is perhaps why I get so

many knowing glances and do not ever recall a
bah humbugish frown of disapproval.
In the great Northwest MO there are many
opportunities within our communities, medium
and small, to hear the sounds of the holidays and
the songs of Christmas. They are on several of
the regional radio stations, within the schools, the
colleges, and the churches with their regular and
special activities; it filters out throughout malls,
and is heard at dozens of Christmas tree lighting
ceremonies. The secular favorites will be heard
alongside the sacred carols. A wonderful mixing
that unites to present a warm spirit that so many
people, of different backgrounds and even different beliefs, can enjoy. That warmth, its joy, even
its love-embedded words, of this broad range of
Christmas time music unites us where so many
other things are allowed to divide us.
It may be true as the song says, Baby, its
cold outside, but who can resist being warmed
up by a favorite Christmas song or two. And that
is why I think that this season, this milestone
along the path of winter, brings out our better
nature, despite the hustle and bustle that can lead
to short tempers and shredded patience.
And in turn it helps us to turn to the changing of the year, from old to new. With hope
and positive desires for the new as the old is
put behind us with a flip of a calendar page.
This passage also has a universal appeal
and a healthy habit of uniting us, if only for
a brief time, in a spirit of humanness, hope,
and celebration, whether it be as a couple, a
family, a group of friends, or even a group
of strangers. It, like Christmas, is not just
an individuals event, but an event of the
world. But unlike Christmas, this is truly
intended to be a celebration of humanity by
humanity.
The passage of the Old Year to the New
Year has its special sounds also. The symbolic popping of corks, the bang-bang of
fireworks with the accompanying oohs and
aahhs, the screech of noisemakers, and of
course the singing of Auld Lang Syne and
its words of love and kindness as experienced in the past, and hope and belonging
for the future.

7
But my favorite, sung along with heartfelt
words every time I hear it, New Years song is
Same Old Lang Syne. For it tells not just a true
story from 1975 by its author and singer the late
Dan Fogelberg, it also poignantly reminds me
of one of the stories of my life, which though it
occurred in 1973, still holds importance in my
life even though similarly in my story the snow
turned into rain.
Though, isnt that why we love our favorite songs of Christmas; that they remind us of a
time past, and give us comfort, or joy, in the time
present. And maybe hope for the time to come.
Sing the songs of Christmas. It will help put
the Merry in Merry Christmas.
Rich has spent most of his adult life living
and/or working in small, rural communities in
Wisconsin, Iowa, and Missouri, including several long stretches in Northwest Missouri. Rich
chooses to spend most of his weekday, daytime
hours teaching students science, and other
things, in Union Star. He also chooses to spend
his Sundays, and some other occasional time,
with the good folks in Cainsville. You can reach
Rich at RichPiper@LifePraise.org with comments.

Events & Festivals across NWMO

ALBANY
Sun 12/7 Cantata/Musical Song of Christmas 10:40 & 6:30 (Baptist Church)
Sat 12/13 Breakfast with Santa 8:30am (UMC Church)
BETHANY
Sat 12/13 Holiday Bazaar, 9am (American Legion Hall)
GRANT CITY
Sat 12/6 Holiday Bazaar, Breakfast, Santa 7:30am (High School Gym)
KING CITY
Chamber Holiday Crafts, Silent Auction, Movie 9am
ROCK PORT
Sat 12/6 Downtown Christmas Celebration
STANBERRY
Fri 12/5 Light Night 6pm (Park)
TARKIO
Sat 12/6 Christmas Celebration (Community Building)
Sun 12/7 A Night of Carols 5pm (UMC Church)
Sun 12/14 Live Nativity 5pm (First Baptist Church)

ONGOING EVENTS
Bethany: Thursdays Dungeons & Dragons, 5pm (Gamers Place)
Fri & Sat Magic the Gathering, 6pm (Gamers Place)
Grant City: 2nd Friday Potluck, Noon (Senior Center)
King City Senior Center: Potluck Dinner 3rd Wednesday
Pitch Tournament Last Monday
Cards Daily

Your event not listed?

Contact us to get on our schedule!

Memories: A Christmas Story

Danny Ralphie Phillips

from 7pm on Christmas Eve to 7pm on Christmas night I get a chance

to relive my age of innocence, a time that Ill never get back. However,
I have a ton of good memories attached to Christmas. Dinners with my thanks to Jean Shepard and basic cable, I can fantasize awhile that I am
Grandpa McNown before time and illness took him away, my Grandmas that little boy in braces, sitting with his big sister in a theater with the
apple salad and chocolate pie, my aunts and Mom all together making screen flickering, doing his most favorite thing in the world: pretending.
candy, my cousin being arrested in the driveway (come on, it was hilarious), and getting from Santa the Ewok Village and slot car track I wanted
more than anything in the world.
One of my fondest memories came in the Year of Our Lord 1983.
My sister Ami, five years my senior, talked our Mom into letting her
take me for a matinee showing at the Plaza Theater. With the permission
secured, Mom drove us to the Plaza, gave us $10 (that could buy a lot of
candy and popcorn back then) and agreed to pick us up later. As we sat in
the old, worn seats of the ancient theater (the same cinema that would
play a huge part in my love of movies, thanks to Empire Strikes Back,
Return of the Jedi, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Ghostbusters, and countless others) my sister talked about the kid in the movie
being just like me: glasses, a nerd, wanting a BB gun. Ralphie was me.
A Christmas Story, thanks to my sisters willingness to spend time with
her little brother, would become a touchstone, a high water mark in an
otherwise taxing childhood. Movies, like music, were my escape from
the difficulty of being disabled, a relief from being made fun of, from the
unhappy home life, from reality.
A Christmas Story, taken from Jean Shepards yearly holiday program on radio in Cleveland, Ohio, and from his book, In God We Trust
All Others Pay Cash, is the story of Ralphie, a 1940s Ohio kid who wants
nothing more than to receive a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas. Simple
premise, right? It is a bit of American life to which every boy and girl
could relate. (For me, it was a Lionel train set. Never got it though.)
Childhood could be so simple, but not for Ralphie, oh no!
He has to plant seeds of suggestion to get past his mother and everyone else he knows saying, Youll shoot your eye out, kid! Hell, even
the department store Santa said it, before pushing Ralphie down the slide
with a boot to the face. Ralphies father does not have it any easier. He
does regular battle with a temperamental furnace in the familys home, a
constantly frozen-up Oldsmobile, and the pack of hounds owned by the
unseen hillbilly neighbors known as the Bumpuses. A Christmas Story
never won any Oscars, was universally panned by mainstream press, and,\
unfortunately spawned a truly atrocious sequel that only completists like
me should see. Ive only seen it once. That is an hour and a half Ill never
get back.
For me, A Christmas Story signifies a youth and innocence that
would, soon enough, be lost. Ralphies dad is how I envisioned my own
father: gruff, slightly irritating, but ultimately a great and loving father.
Thanks to TBSs 24 Hours of a Christmas Story marathon, every year

10

Joe Classifieds

WANTED: Aspiring writers to submit articles of general interest or Northwest Missouri

content. Please contact us at northwest@regularjoepaper.com for more details. Photos are
also welcome.
From page 13: Hersheys Chocolate Syrup

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Lets Get Small

Jay Kerner
Regular Joe Founder/Skinflint
Saw a show on TV the other night about the tiny-house phenomenon.
Maybe youve seen these wacky folks living in 200 square feet or less.
While certainly less extreme, I thought Id share our own experience on
that subject.
For the first half of my adult life I wanted everything bigger. Bigger
jobs, bigger houses, a bigger life.
As a child, our familys financial situation fluctuated between upper/
lower class and lower/middle class from year to year. A kid without much,
is subjected to the same desires as any other, but usually without the means
to do anything about it.
So I went the paper-route, route. I bagged groceries at the neighborhood
Hy-Klass. I scrounged around like a lot of kids, to get the things I couldnt
live without. An album from Lees Records. A pair of big-bell Levis from
A.J. August.
After high school I went to college because I couldnt think of a better
option. (And thanks to an open-enrollment policy that meant anyone who
could make an X on the name line was in.)
But the work was boring, my attendance horrible, and I gave up a few
semesters in. I was also discouraged by my older friends who were graduating and starting their new careers as Assistant Managers at Rax Roast Beef
and other exciting places.
So I got married and joined the adult work force. I was
making real money. Sometimes over $200 per week!
And money means credit. Once the financial gods saw
me deposit a handful of checks in a row, the plastic started
flowing. Monkey Wards was first. I couldnt believe they
would actually send a knucklehead like me a credit card.
But they did.
My maiden credit voyage started when my car needed a
battery and I was broke till payday. Whipped out the plastic, signed my name and drove away!
Then the bill came and instead of asking for the $39.95
or whatever it was back then, all they wanted was a minimum payment of like 4 bucks. Sweet! My faulty math
skills keep me from knowing for sure, but by the time I
paid off that card, that battery was long in a junkyard somewhere, and it had cost me in the neighborhood of $600.
And of course, by then I had a pocketful of plastic. Gas
cards, discount store cards, right down to the aptly named
Master-card. I learned quickly that credit was my master
and did what it demanded. Before long it was clear that I
wasnt keeping up with its demands. I needed a better job.
So I got one. Made more money. Bought a bigger
house to store all the stuff Id charged, and earned more
credit.

11
I spent the next 20 years or so in an ever expanding spiral of bigger jobs,
bigger houses and bigger debt.
My working theory was, if the banker oks it, it must be ok.
Till it wasnt.
We found ourselves in a giant house with both kids out of college and on
their own. And of course a mountain of debt.
What the hell were we doing?
It was time to get small.
Sold the big house. Moved to a much smaller house. Paid off some
debt.
Sold off all the stuff that wouldnt fit in the small house. Paid off some
more debt.
Drove the cars longer without trading them in every other year like we
used to.
Cut up all the credit cards. Every damn one.
It was a slow turnaround, but as the months went by the debt got smaller.
We celebrated every closed account.
Today were quite happy with our smaller lives. We love our tiny house,
(though it doesnt really merit the name). And we learned some important
life lessons.
Were not perfect. We still do dumb things with money, but when we
do, the amounts are much smaller. Like sometimes we splurge on a second
movie rental. Were crazy like that.

12

Take A Stand

Devyn Porter
It is now December, and our school year is half over. The holiday season is quickly approaching us, and many of us look forward to spending
this time with family and close friends. It is a time for laughter, making
memories, and of course, (you all know my personal favorite) food. But
for some of us this time isnt as great as we let on for it to be. Kids all over
the country and all over Northwest Missouri are suffering at the hands of
their peers. Bullying is becoming more and more apparent in the lives of
young people.
Young students all across the region are victims of bullies. Bullying
can take the form of a friend teasing them, a class mate whispering behind
their back about their lab assignments, or physical attacks. It is something
that everyone knows about and sees in school, whether it is experienced
firsthand or seen happening to a friend.
Bullies will target a person for something as silly as the pants they are
wearing one day, or something as serious as their sexual orientation. Studies suggest that a transgender man has a 1 in 18 chance of being murdered
or attacked, while the average man has a chance of 1 in 1,000. It is sad that
we as Americans still face this every day.
I bet youre wondering what we can do to spread the message and
stop the bullying and violence. I know I was when I became involved in
this subject. There are so many options, so many small acts of kindness
we can do to help offset the effects of abuse. To start, if we come across
a situation that looks potentially abusive, we should step up and take a
stand. Sure, it is said much easier than done, but think about the impact
you will be making on that persons life. That is something they
might remember for the rest of their lives. That young person may
endure bullying every day and be on the brink of giving up, when
you come along and let them know that people care about them.
Secondly, if this is something we know is going on behind closed
doors, we should do whatever is in our power to help them get out
of that situation.
So many people who have not been in a bullying situation
dont understand that it isnt as simple as leaving someone or not
going around them anymore. If the abuser is a boyfriend or girlfriend, the one being abused might think future relationships will
be the same with everyone. If the abuser is a parent, the child
might feel like they cant turn against their parent and get them into
trouble. The reality of the matter is, the abused individual might
need a lot of reassurance. There isnt always an easy out or a way
to escape. Reach out to young people. Get help from others for
someone going through this. They need to know they arent alone
and that things do get better.
Cyber bullying is something specific I want to address more
forwardly. Cyber bullying is still bullying! Kids and teenagers
dont understand that what they say about people online does get

back to the victim. They know everything that is going on in our lives. I
feel every student at some point in their career will experience some sort
of cyber bullying. The words cant be erased once they are put online.
They can be removed from the page, but the recipient will still know what
was said.
All these forms of bullying are taking a major toll on the mental health
and stability of our children and students. They dont know how to deal
with the pain, so they start trying to keep it inside. Situations like this
have led to fatalities for students involved and in some cases for innocent
by standers.
We as humans need to be more caring for one another, starting with
the friends and family we have in our public schools.
Editors note: According to the CDC, suicide is the third leading cause
of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year. As
the holiday season approaches, one of the most generous gifts we can give
is the mentoring of a young person in need of emotional support.

Northwest encourages winter weather awareness, preparedness

MARYVILLE, Mo. Northwest Missouri State University
along with the National Weather Service (NWA), the Missouri Depart-

ment of Health and Senior Services, the Missouri State Emergency Management Agency (SEMA) and local emergency managers are joining
forces to promote winter weather awareness in Missouri.
With less daylight and colder temperatures, its a subtle reminder that
winter weather is arriving, said Lt. Mike Ceperley, emergency management coordinator for Northwest. Winter Awareness Day reminds everyone that extreme cold temperatures are nothing to take lightly during coming months. We cant stop winter storms or extreme cold from happening,
but we can take a few moments to make sure we are properly prepared for
their effects.
Northwest and emergency management organizations across Missouri
remind residents that extreme cold temperatures are a danger during winter months. Prolonged exposure to the cold can cause frostbite, hypothermia or, in extreme cases, death. In fact, excessive cold is one of the leading
weather-related causes of death across the country. Infants and the elderly
are most susceptible to extreme cold. Freezing temperatures also cause
damage to crops and property.
When dealing with winter weather, emergency management experts
offer these tips:
Dress for the conditions: Wear several layers of light-weight,
warm clothing. Layers can be removed to prevent perspiring and
subsequent chill. Outer garments should be tightly woven, waterproof and hooded. For the hands, mittens, snug at the wrists, offer
better protection than fingered gloves.
Make a plan: Have an emergency plan in place, and do as much
as possible before an emergency happens. Whether at home or
traveling, determine how you will communicate with others and

develop an emergency communications plan that includes communication methods and individuals to call.
Update your address book: Add emergency contacts, current
work and school numbers and information for emergency services.
Designate an out-of-state or out-of-area contact in the event family
members cannot immediately communicate locally.
Put together a kit: Make a preparedness kit or review your existing kit with winter weather in mind. Kits might contain bottled
water, high calorie non-perishable food items, a battery powered
radio, flashlights, extra batteries and a first aid kit. Make a winter
car kit to keep in the trunk of a vehicle as well. This kit might include a sleeping bag or blanket, high calorie food items, a first aid
kit, a rain coat, gloves, a spare radio with batteries, jumper cables,
flares and a shovel and sand to give tires traction.
It is also important to keep updated on weather forecasts and understand the difference between a watch and a warning. Evaluate current conditions and expected conditions, and take those into consideration when
making travel plans. Also, know where to go for further information about
what to do and where to go during an actual emergency.
Winter storm watch: Indicates that severe winter weather may affect
your area within 12 to 48 hours.
Winter storm warning: Indicates severe winter weather is in the area or
expected immediately, and that it can be life threatening.
Ice storm warning: Issued for ice accumulations of a quarter-inch or
more.
For more winter weather tips, contact the University Police Department at 660.562.1254, or visit the National Weather Service online at
www.weather.gov or the Missouri State Emergency Management Agency
at sema.dps.mo.gov.

HOLIDAY GREETINGS AROUND THE GLOBE...

Feliz Navidad

Joyeuses Ftes!

Masaya pista opisyal

Trevlig Helg!
Furaha likizo

Felices Fiestas!

Laethanta saoire sona

Boldog nnepeket

Glade feriedage

13

Felices Fiestas!
Selamat Hari Raya!

Felix feriarum

Buone Feste!

Ii holide eximnandi

Jie Ri Yu Kuai

TRIVIA: In what commercial did Peter Billingsley of A Christmas Story appear as Messy Marvin?

14-Joe Northwest

Ag Major Receives Scholarship

Northwest to begin construction on

new fitness center
MARYVILLE, Mo. The Northwest
Missouri State University Board of Regents
on Wednesday approved a proposed construction budget and authorized University
leaders to execute a construction contract, allowing Northwest to move forward on a plan
to remodel its former aquatic center into a
state-of-the-art fitness center.
The Board approved the project, not to
exceed a total cost of nearly $4.4 million,
and authorized the University to award the
construction contract to Lee Grover Construction Co., of St. Joseph, Mo. Northwest
will pay for the project with University and
donor funds as well as student fees.
The Universitys imagining of the Robert
and Virginia Foster Fitness Center will allow
it to relocate, expand and upgrade its fitness
facilities, Northwest President Dr. John Jasinski said. Currently, Northwests fitness
center is located in the basement of the Lamkin Activity Center and no longer meets the
needs of University students and employees.
We are thankful for the Boards support
and know our students, employees and community as well as prospective students will

be thrilled with this project, Jasinski said.

It continues the positive momentum across
so many areas at Northwest.
The project calls for a complete remodel
of the existing 4,000 square-foot pool area
into a fitness center featuring weightlifting
machines and a variety of other fitness equipment. Plans also call for a 1,330 square-foot
entryway to be added to the existing structure along with a 2,300 square-foot mezzanine overlooking Colden Pond and the Joyce
and Harvey White International Plaza. The
facility also will include academic laboratory
space.
The Board of Regents, in March, approved the renaming of the former Foster
Aquatic Center to the Robert and Virginia
Foster Fitness Center and a $4 per-credithour-fitness fee that will be implemented to
support the facilitys construction and operations. The Northwest community subsequently gathered in May for a ceremony to
celebrate the renaming and the Foster familys legacy.
With an enrollment of more than 6,700
students, Northwest is a coeducational, primarily residential four-year university that
offers a broad range of undergraduate and
selected graduate programs. This fall, Northwest is ranked as the top moderately selective regional university in Missouri on U.S.
News and World Reports list of 2015 Best
Colleges.
The University boasts a 59 percent graduation rate, which is about 20 percent higher
than the national average. In addition, 98 percent of Northwest bachelors degree earners
and 99 percent of masters degree earners secure employment or continue their education
within six months of graduation, according
to the most recent data.
Furthermore, its vibrant and diverse learning community offers more than 150 student
organizations, and textbooks and a laptop are

included in tuition, which is among the lowest in the state, saving students an estimated
$7,200 over four years. Northwest also offers 1,200 student employment positions, allowing students to build professional skills
through its internationally benchmarked student employment program.
############
Ag science major receives scholarship
in memory of Savannah native
MARYVILLE, Mo. Northwest Missouri State University student Craig David
Russell is the recipient of the Matthew White
Memorial Scholarship for the 2014-15 academic year.
The scholarship was established in memory of Matthew White, an agriculture business major at Northwest who died in a 2005
automobile accident after completing his
sophomore year at the University. The scholarship was established in 2006 by his parents
and Northwest alumni, Steve and Julie White
of Savannah, Mo. Steve is a 1980 graduate of
Northwest, and Julie is a 1981 graduate.
Russell, a sophomore agricultural science
major from Savannah. He is the son of John
and Debbie Russell.
The endowed scholarship is awarded to a
continuing student at Northwest studying an
agriculture-related major. A scholarship of
at least $500 is awarded with preference to
graduates of Savannah High School, North
Andrew High School in Rosendale as well as
students from Missouri or Iowa.
For more information about the Matthew
White Memorial Scholarship or Northwest
Foundation Inc., call 660.562.1248 or send
an email to advance@nwmissouri.edu.
For more information about Northwest
Missouri State University visit www.nwmissouri.edu/media/

MUG
SHOTS

We caught these folks out and about in Northwest

Missouri. If you recognize any of these people, let
em know you saw their mugs in The Regular Joe.

Since 1894

A Mission
Of Service
For 120 Years
St. Francis Hospital & Health Services is proud of its long relationship
and strong roots in northwest Missouri. On September 8, 1894, the same
year of the St. Louis Worlds Fair, we began as St. Joseph Hospital, a
12-bed facility located in a house on three acres of land next to St.
Marys Catholic Church (now St. Gregorys Catholic Church).
Our first patient, Thomas Kidney, was admitted a week before we
officially opened, heralding a commitment to patient care that has long
been a hallmark of this hospital. Today, St. Francis Hospital & Health
Services is a 81-bed, Joint Commission Accredited, full-service acute
care facility, with advanced programs in womens health, surgery, sports
medicine and mental health to name just a few.
As we look forward to our future together, St. Francis Hospital &
Health Services remains committed to this community and will
continually strive to provide the highest quality of healthcare!

660-562-2600

www.stfrancismaryville.com 2016 South Main Street Maryville, MO 64468