Testimony

September 28, 2014

Freedom Family Church

I grew up in a small town called Patterson, Louisiana; its in St. Mary Parish, and the heart of Cajun
Country. My mother and father were divorced whenever I was two years old. I grew up with two of my older
sisters with whom I share the same mother and father; my grandparents on my dads side raised us. I am the
second to youngest of six siblings: an oldest sister by my dad, an oldest brother by my mom, and my youngest
brother by my mom as well.
I began going to church in preschool at First Baptist Church of Patterson on Main Street; this was where
my indoctrination and seeding of the faith began. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way
he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it; this is the first evidence of the Lords work in my
life.
I went to public school like most. From a very young age I knew that I was different than others: I was
horrible in group settings, I often acted out in social awkwardness to find myself accepted, and I was much
better on a one on one basis. During my very young years I was exposed to pornography that was kept in the
house I lived in.
I went to Patterson Jr. High in the fourth grade. In this year of my life I was baptized, and for the first
time had accepted the Gospel that Jesus was God. Around this time the church took note of my musical
abilities, and I began to perform on Sundays, singing special music to recorded backing tracks. In the fifth grade
the church chose me from two other kids to begin taking piano lessonsit was a complete scholarship. I had no
opposition to this, and looked forward to every Tuesday after school. With this, Ive known from the beginning
of my musicianship, that my gifting was of God, and to be used for the church. And so, I was armed for the
ministry of Jesus.
My teenaged years were when the depth of my sin would be revealed. I was a product of verbally
abusive grandparents, and I was living in a hoarders environment. I high jacked the internet into my room in
2001, and it was then that my disinterest in the opposite sex would be confirmed, and by the time that I was a
junior in high school Id told everyone that I was gay.

After high school, I moved to Baton Rouge with some friends. I had boyfriend at this time, which
introduced me to drugs. Already addicted to cigarettes, I had become a full time drug addicted who was failing
college, and had sunk myself into about $5,000 of credit card debt. I was frequenting New Orleans, and a local
gypsys shop where I was first exposed to Black Magic, and the unholy counterfeit. Shortly after this, I moved
back home; I found myself a failure at my first attempts of adult life.
In 2007, I began to search for the Lord again. Though Gods efforts have led me to the place Im at
today, my own efforts led me to the ways of New Age movement. Im reminded of the story of Balaam in The
Bible, in Numbers 22. He was prophet, and had conversations with God. The problem with Balaam was that
hed taken the power of the Lord, and used it as a perverted sorcery that led him to be killed as an enemy of
Israel. Like Balaam, I knew who God was, and spoke with him often; however, I had opened myself to New
Age doctrine that promoted Universalism, Divination, and Occult Ritual. These are things that Lord is
extremely against. The aforementioned seed of my faith was now being choked by the tears that the Enemy had
planted while I slept. I suffered this way for two years
In 2009, the Lord began to wake me. I began searching out ways to remove my homosexual identify,
and rid myself of drug use. I started working in pipe yard as a fitters helper, and going to a robust conservative
Pentecostal church in Patterson. Jesus said in Luke 11:39, Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the
cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. I was trying to man up and go to a hardcore
church to rid me of things that was far beyond any mans ability of removal. I fell into depression, and from
there for first I was suicidal.
My family intervened, and I moved to Texas a week before my birthday in the hopes to find new
perspective. I started going to church at Fellowship of the Woodlands in Atascocita, I began working
Beckwiths Car Care in Humble, and returned to college at Lone Star Community College. God had shown
grace, and offered a new life with new opportunity.
A customer of mine at Beckwiths began to peruse me. He was very handsome, and I was very attracted
to him. Separating myself from anything gay and homosexual was my goal at this time, so I decided to let him
know it wasnt a good idea for us to hang out. He confirmed that his motives were genuine, and he had interest
in me romantically. From there, he introduced me to a program at Second Baptist in Kingwood, called Celebrate
Recovery.

Celebrate Recovery taught me many things about myself and about my sin. I learned about
codependency, how it had affected my relationships with people, and how it kept me from being genuine with
others. I learned about my drug addiction, and how it was used to medicate the pain of day to day living
because I was so unhappy with what I had become. I also learned about my homosexuality. I met people just
like me for the first time in my life who were gay and didnt want to be. I learned about Reparative Therapy,
which is the retrograde action of removing the developmental errors of my youth, that cause homosexuality, and
I began seeing a therapist to know how that applied to me.
In 2011, While in Celebrate Recovery, I met Richard Savercool over bongos and a grand piano one
night after class. He invited me to his recording studio to make my first record of original material located in
middle of no-where at a place called Patton Village. Our recording was moved from his house to a local church
called Freedom Family.
I began to meet the locals, and they asked that I come around more often. Like my church in Patterson,
Patton Village noted that I was well qualified musically, and asked that I start playing for the church. I denied at
first, but I soon found myself on stage with the rest of the band as part of the worship team.
However, I became very bored. I found myself slipping in and out of church for periods of time, and
losing my grasp on church, recover, my relationship with the Lord. In August of 2012, I moved into my own
apartment. I was very lonely during this time, and began to meet up with my old accountability from recovery
that had also strayed away. Months prior to this he and I stopped seeing each other because we had developed
romantic feelings for each other, but outside of the parameters of the church we were fully loaded to begin what
would be the most debaucherous and sinful year of my life.
He and I became romantically involved, and openly my boyfriend; we started using drugs together; and I
returned to occult and New Age practicesall the while, I was leading the music service at Freedom Family
church. I was at a loss. I was tied up in my old ways that I thought were far behind me, and I saw no way out of
it. I knew that the Lord didnt want. I knew that the Bible said homosexuality; I knew what the Bible said about
getting high; and I knew that I was powerless to stop Satans work against my life.
So I let go of everythingand told God that he could whatever it would take to get me out of this. So I
amped up the things of God in my life. I allowed people to pray over me in the name of Jesus. I allowed people
to prophesize over me in the name of Jesus.

I allowed myself to forgive my Mother and my Father for divorcing. I allowed myself to forgive my
grandmother for being so cruel. I allowed myself to forgive MYSELF for ruining myself. All the while waiting
for whatever opportunity that God would put in front of me.
Then, in August of 2013 my boyfriend and I had become very distant because I was seeking out God.
One night we prayed together and for each other, to see what God what would do. After an extremely peculiar
spiritual moment together that to this day I can barely understand or bring to words, it was as if the Lord
supernaturally separated the heartstrings between usand it was over.
He shot himself two days later. I withdrew from everything possible, and isolated myself. I was asked to
leave the church because my attitude and posture had become marred and cynical toward everything. My drug
use increased exponentially during my mourning, and I became more promiscuous than I had ever been in my
entire life.
But the Lord is faithful. From the bottom of the pitlike alwaysI called on the name of Jesus. I began
to flood my mind with Christian media. I began to read the Word again. And, I admitted sinner, and that I and
been in the wrong place at the wrong time for too long. At the beginning of 2014 I went into the studio again to
record my third record, and vowed to myself that regardless of my circumstances, my situation, or my sin, that I
would to sing to the Lord and give my gift back to him like the church prepared me to.
That summer, while at work, they told me that someone wanted to see me. It was the pastor of Freedom
Family church. He came in, and we spoke about what had been going on in my life, and what had been going on
in the church. A day later he texted me with an invitation to play music for the church. I accepted with no
hesitation.
This is the story of my life thus far. Im blessed to serve the church, and I find the greatest fulfillment to
minister to Gods people. This is the story of a church that is willing to listen to the words of the Father God,
and love those who are unlovable. This is the story of a God who loved us so much that he was willing to lose
everything, so that I could know his name: Jesus. He is a jealous God, O mighty Jehovah, and if you hear the
call of his Holy Spirit, and you run from him, He chase you as if only to amuse your efforts. Heed this warning:
He will destroy anything that come between you and His will for your life, and when you are caught by
his amazing gracehe will destroy you only to create you again for a life eternally spent with him.