1

MARRIAGE-CEREMONY
WRITTEN BY :
DR. GOSWAMI GIRIDHARILAL SHASTRI

M.A. P.H.D..

(JYOTISHACHARYA)

Marriage Ceremony
RITUALS occupy a very prominent place in Hindusim. They are the
very foundations for shaping a human life. In Indian culture and religion,
philosophy occupies the highest position. Its main function is to
distinguish right from wrong, light from darkness and immortality
from mortality. Accordingly the purpose of the rituals is to lead man
from materi-lism to spiritualism. That is why the rituals pertaining to
marriage are of greatest significance: As marriage is a\ sublime union
of Purusha and Prakriti material (physical) union is not the aim of
marriage. In othe woeds marriage is the spiritual union as distinguished
from the physical union. Physical union can be rent as under by means
of processes of physicat sciences, the spirtual union, however, is
lasting. That is why husband and wife sanctified by Vedic mantras
(hymns) desire that they may remain united in this spiritual union in
lives to come. Promoted by the father of the bride and the bridegroom
and the bride first of all prays as under in the words of mantra (hymn)
of the Rig Veda, which has a very great significance.
0 Lord, Thou are the Creator of this world, its sustainer and also its
destroyer. May Your might and the bless-ings of the wise and the
learned assembled in this place unite our souls and hearts in the same
way as the waters of two rivers or two utensils when mixed together
become one and undistinguishable. Just as the sacred

3
waters of Ganga and Yamuna after their confluence can not be
separated by any means whatsoever, so also our our souls when
united, though inhabiting separate bodies, may remain one.
Spiritualism is the highest aim of marriage. This is the reason
why there is no reference, whatsoever, of divorce or separation in
Hindu marriage. While Hindu marriage is the highest and the noblest
idea! in the world, it is also the ancient most and eternal. It is
based on scientific principles. Its source is the Rig Veda which is
pro-claimed as the oldest book in the history of the world by the
scholars of the world. The eighty-fifth sukata of the tenth
mandal of the Rig-Veda is known as Marriage Sukata; while the first
Sukata of the fourteenth kanda of the Atharveda gives a beautiful
description of marriage. On the bases of those vedic hymans (mantras)
Prashar and others sages formulated the rituals of marriage in
Grihya Sutras.
The rituals relating to marriage can be divided in three parts as
under :
(i) Kanya-dann, i.e. giving away-the daughter, (ii) Laajas Home,
i.e. offering of fa/as in sacrificial fire.
(iii) Sapt-padi, i.e., the seven steps before sacrificial fire.
These three ritual have Feference to three persons in the bridal
home. Kanya-daan is performed by the parents of the bride. The
brothers of the bride-perform the laja Home. The Sapt-padi, the
seven steps, is performed by the bride herself* This represents the
best type of

4
parliamentary-system. In the Parliament a resolution is proposed by
one member, seconded by another and supsorted by a third member.
If the member of the Parliament accord their approval by majority
vote, the Bill becomes Law. In the case of Hindu marriage, the parents
of the girl by their act of Kanya-dan proposed the marriage, the
brothers by offering Laja Home second the propsal while the girl by
performing the sapt-padi the seven step before the sacrificial fire
supports the proposals. The relatives of both sides, the friends and
the wisemen present by offering and showering flowers endorse and
complete the formalities and requirements of a valid marriage. In
such a marriage there is no necessity of any written record. It is rather
surprising that there is a provision for diverse even in those cases
where the marriage is legalised by the signatures of the bridegroom,
the bride and the attending witnesses. In the Hindu marriage there is
no necessity of any writings : noble witnesses are the main supports.
Chanting the vedic mantras the bride separates herself from her
parents family forever, going to her husbands family she prays to
God that she may never be separated from her husband and his
family.

Marriage Ceremony
First of all, the Gods are invoked and propitiated by means of vedic
mantras. They (the God) ere requested to grace the occasion by
their auspicious presence and become witnesses. By filing water in
the Kumbh (pitcher) god Varuna is propitiated. Then the bride-groom is
honoured by offering him MadhuParkwhich represents the greatest
form of honour in the Indian

5
culture. Then he is offered a seat, a stool, water for washing feet
and for aachman (three ships), of madhu parak, clothes and a cow.
This depicts the climax of faith of the brides father in God. In offering
the sout in the body of his daughter to the other family the father
seeks the refuge of God, Accordingly, acting on the injunction of the
shastras, he accepts the bridegroom as (a repre-sentative of) god
and submits :
0 Great God Thou have appeared in my house in the form of the
bridegroom. This girl in the form of Lakshmi is your trust. She is your
own and I offer her unto you ! With these feelings I entrust her unto
your holy hands, pray, accept.
The bridegroom eulogizes the things offered by the father of the bride
and expresses his gratitude by placing the offered flowers, fruits etc.
on his head as a mark of respect. In other words the god in the form
of the bridegroom-expresses his gratification at the devotion of the
brides father and assures him that he would always respect the
Lakshmi carrying to him in the form of his bride.
The bridegroom takes only a small pah of the madhu-park preparation.
He, thereby, fulfils the Rig Vedic injunction dsoyknks Hkofr dsoyk/h and the
saying of the of the Gita rs rq Hkqtars?ka ikik ;s ipaR;kRedkj.kkr~ according to
which he who eats alone, is a great sinner for he eats an accursed food. He
expresses his resolve that in future he shall not eat alone. The Madhu-parak
is made up of ghee, honey and curd. Ghee and honey when mixed in equal
parts become poison. Accordingly,

6
in preparing Madhu-parak, ghee, honey and curd are mixed up in
the ratio 1:2:4. The utility of Ghee, honey and curd is described in
highest terms in the Vedas-snjfsRnr i.e. consider ghee as the
very life. Honey is praised in mantras a like. .
Ayurveda considers curd as the best form of food. The madhuparak
sanctified by the Vedic mantras, is energy giving and the best drink.
In Vedas ghee is also described as (^f (love). It follows that the
love of husband and wife should be as uncorruptible as ghee. How
sublime are the thoughts the speech of the husband and wife should
be as sweet as honey and their thoughts and mind towards each
other as pure and clear as curd.
The father of the bride offers four clothes to bride-groom, Out of these
the bridegroom, hands over two of them to the bride for wearing. This
indicates that in future the husband will offer one-half of whateverhe
obtains to his wife. In asking the bride to wear the two clothes offered
by him, the bridegroom prays in the words of the mantras that his
bride may wear clothes up to a very old age. May she be endowed
with wealth, sons and prosperity. May she live a long life and save him
from sins. After the body garments are worn the bride \s asked to
wear the head garments. At that time the bridegroom says, The
fortunate ladies who have spun and woven it have blessed the blide
with long and auspi-cious life. ft is clear from this that Indian ladies
used to spin and weave in their houses own cloth for the * bride and
with their good wishes they inter-wove and sanctified the cloth. The
remaining two clothes are worn by the bridegroom with the recitals of
Vedic

7
prayers to Indra, Brihaspati and gods of the earth and heavens
that he may become wealthy prosperous and
long lived,

(i) Kanya Daan

After this the parents of the bride tie the knot, and the father taking in
his hand the counch, sandal wood, flowers, rice, fruits and water makes
a resolve to give the girl in marriage. At that time the family priests of
sides recounting the nobility and loftiness of the dynasty of each side,
mentioning the names of ancestors, their Vedic pedigree, their Gotras
etc. offer their blessings by reciting bsnidictory praises and hymns.
The father of the girl hands-over the duty of the protection of the girl
to the bridegroom. This is a sort of transfer of power. Amidst the
chanting of Vedic mantras, the girls father by sounding the counch
proclaims his purity, artlessness and integrity. He indicates his largeheartedness and bountiness through sandalwood and his humility, love
and faith through leaves and flowers. How auspicious, joy giving and
heart touching is this occasion. The bridgegroom desiring the welfare
of the parents of the bride by chanting Vedic mantras expresses his
devotion to God and his own humility for there is none in the world
who gives or accepts. It is Gods will alone which accomplishes
such good deed and all of us should praise His great might, reciting
The Vedic mantras he prays that by the subtle influence of the air
which sanctifies all the directions, the mind of the bride should follow
his own mind and that her soothing sight be beneficial both to himself
and his cattle. She would always remain cheerful.

8
She may become mother of valiant sons and she may be source of
happiness to all persons living in her husbands house.

(ii) Laja Homa (a)

Marriage does not become complete with kanya-daan alone. Before
the Laja-Home, the bridegroom by means of daily sacrificial mantras
offers the oblations of ghee in the fire and completes the three sacrifices
cTfT f^T i.e. Rashtrabhrits Tfspp for the prosperity of the country
: Jaya Home snir^te for the victory and Abhyatan JTWTrTH for the
vanquishment of the enemies. He then offers five special oblations
in the fire for his own long life and the long life of the bride and
their future progency. After the Kanya-dan the feeling may arise in
the mind of the bride that both she and her brothers have been born
in the same house and both have equal rights, then why is it that she
alone is being sent into another family. To disburden her mind of
this feeling the brothers give to their sister the Laja (parched rice) for
offering in the fire. The object is to show that just as paddy plants are
transplated from their original places to another place for proper growth
of crop, so also the girls have to be married and transplanted in another
family. It is clear from this that the girls cannot remain in their fathers
house for ever. They are movable (property) while sgns are immovable
(property). This is the reason why pirls have not been given right in
the immovable property of the parents. By filling the,hands of their
sister with Lajas the brother assure her that whenever she will go
from her fathers house to her husbands house, they will

9
provide her pfanty of money and articles. Even now it is considered
inauspicious for a married woman to go empty handed from her fathers
house to her husbands house. With these feelings the bride with a pleased mind offers three oblations
of the Lajas-parched rice in the fire through her husband and recites
the following three
mantras ;

vkZej.ka nsoa dU;k vfXu;{kr] luks vkZek nso% izsrks eqaprq] ek irs%A
b;a uk;qZiczwrs yktkuoifUrdk] vk;q";kuLrq es ifrjs/Urka Kkr;kseeA
bekaYyktkukoikE;jukS ve`fdj.ka ro] ee] rqH;a p laouu rnfXujuqeU;rkfe;r~A
The significance of the firsr mantra is that she has propitiated god
Aryma (ST^iTf) and that as she is going away from her fathers house
to her husbands house, God Aryma may not separate her from her
husbands house. What a lofty ideal is enshrined in this mantra-the
bride never likes to entertain even in her mind the idea of separation
from her husband. That is why in Hindu marriage the mean idea of
divorce is entirely and completely missing. In the second mantra she
seek the benedictions of her brothers and relatives for the long life of
her husband and in turn wishes them alround prosperity. In the third
mantra addressing her husband she says, Lord, by offering the
oblations of Lajas in the fire I pray to God that our mutual love should
always remain strong and firm.

10
There is. a deep significance in the act of the bride in not offering
herself the Lajas given by her brothers, but through her husband. Just
as at the time of sowing of paddy, the seed without the husk (outer
cover) and the husk without The seed has no utility. Similarly in the
domestic life the husband without the wife and the wife without
the husband has no importance. In this way she aspires for a lasting
and film love.

Panigrahana (b)
The bridegroom with a happy heart takes the hand of the bride
in his hand and assures her thus :
x`j.kkfe rs lksHkxRok; gLra e;k iR;k tjnf"V;Fkkl%A
Hkxks v;Zek lfork iqjfU/eZa Rkoknq% xkZgZiR;k; nsok%A
veksgefLl lk Roa lkRoeL;eks vge~ lkekgefLfe d~ Roa |kSjg i`fFkoh Roe~A
lafiz;kS jksfp".kw lqeuL;ekukSA
i';se 'kjn% 'kra those 'kjn% 'kra J`xq;kHk 'kjn 'kre~A
The bridegroom says, Goddess I support your right hand with my
right hand for all times to come. May we live together uplo old age.
Auspicious gods Bhag, Aryama, Savita and Purandhee have made
you the mistress of my house. If I am the breath, you are the speech,
but if you are speech, I am breath. If t am Samveda, you are Rigveda.
I am the heaven and you are the earth. Our minds should be united;
our likings should be same. Loving one and other may see for

11
hundred years, live for hundred years and hear for hundred years.

In the Vedas, the right hand is called Pani, because with it are
performed all the religious acts, worship, righteous deeds, charity,
dakshina etc. etc. Accordingly, grasping of both the right hands is called
Panigrahana. Mutual and lasting love between husband and wife during
married life and observing Dharma are the high ideals of Pani-grahan.
The highest of the husband and wife is attainment of salvation by
discharging the three debtsRishi Rin. Dev Rin (f"k.k] nso.k fir`.k).
debt due to the sages, the gods and the ancestors). The debt due to the sages
is absolved by tha study of the Vedas and Shastras and also by acquisition of
true knowledge: the debt due to gods is absolved by the performance of
sacrifices (Yajnes) and the debt due to ancestors is absol-ved by the birth of
noble progency.
The bridegroom and the bride go round the fire four times. In the first
three rounds the bride leads and in the fourt the bridegroom leads.
According to Vedic love attainment of Dharam (/eZ)-(duty); Artha
(vFkZ%)(wealth); Kama (dke%) (desires) and Moksha (eks{k%) liberation i.
e. salvation from birth and death) is the aim of life. The bride takes
up the responsibility of observing Dharaw and so she leads. As dharam
can-not be attained without Arth (wealth) the bride comes forward
again in the second round for proper utilization and expenditure of
wealth. In the third round the bride

12
again leads, as, for the proper rearing of progeny it is the wife
who has to shoulder the entire responsibility. The bride takes
over the responsibility of absolation from Rishi-Rin, Dev Rin.
Accordingly in the three rounds she offers Lajas in the fire,
grasps the right hand and steps on the stone. It is on the
direction of the bridegroom that the bride steps over the stone.
The. bridegroom says, from today onward you may have to face
many obstacles and difficulties but you should crush all of them
and trample under your feet all those who act as your enemies.
You have to remain as firm and stead-fast as this stone. In no
case you have to falter.1' Another significance of stepping over the
stone is that the path of the married life is difficult to tread like the
mountains. The bridegroom assures the bride that he will fully
cooperate with her facing all those difficulties which would come
in their way. After the third round the bride says that she has
taken upon herself the res-ponsibility as regards Dharam, Arth a
and Kama and asks : Who will take up the responsibility of leading
them to salvation i.e. Moksha. Then the bridegroom quickly
leads in the fourth round. In common practice also when the
bride and the bridegroom enter the house after marriage, it is the
bride who leads. In the round there is no chanting of the Mantras.
Silence and one pointedness are the keys of spiritualism which requires
introversion.
Lava in Hindi and Lavan in Punjabi are the corrupt forms of Laja,
therefore, Laja-Home is called Lavan-Pherray.

(iii) Spt Pdi (lIrinh)

shastras do not consider the manage as valid even after the
brothers have offered the Laja Home. Only

13
Sapta-padi completes the marriage ceremony. The consent of the
bride is necessary for the completion of the marriage and that is
evidenced when they perform the Sapt-padi. The Hindu Shastras
have vested the final right in marriage in the bride because sometimes
the parents and brothers being influenced by greed may commit
mistakes. Ancient sages like Manu- Vagya-walkya and others have
authoritatively declared that the bride remains unmarried until saptpadi is performed,

Amidst the chanting of Vedic mantras the bride and the

bridegroom walk seven steps before the sacred marriage fire in
the presence of the gods, the wise and the relatives making solemn
resolves. This is in con-sonance with the famous edict,
Seven Steps taken together greets friendship. This is the final
step in the completion of a vaild and legal marriage. At the
instance of the bride, the bridegroom takes vows for shouldering
responsiblity for the provision of food, clothes, strength,
wealth, happiness, cattle and other articles necessary in
different seasons. These vows he takes in the first, second,
third, fourth, fifth and sixth steps one after the other and prays to
Lord Vishun to grant him strength to fulfil these vows.
He
addresses the bride as Anna-poorna vUUkiw.kkZ Durga nqxkZ Lakshmi y{eh
Sukh Varsha lq[ko"kkZ Prajavatni rqo"kkZ and Ritu-varsha (iztkcRuh) In
the seven steps the bridegroom says to the bride, Come along.
Now we are friends to travel this lifes journey. Let our love be
lasting As husband and wife let us march on in the service and for
the protection of the country, community and dharma, in
addition to the service of our parents and

14
relatives. Thus like the two wheels of the chariot, the husband
and wife solemnly resolve to shoulder the responsibility of married
life and become on spirit, and prays as under: In this mantra the
husband says to the wife that in this vow I have your hearts support.
May your mind follow my mind. May my throughts and speech be as
yours. May God unite me and you firmly in bonds of love for ever,
After the sapt-padi the bride sits on the left side of the bridegroom as
ardhangani or vamangi (okekM~h) It may be kept in mind here that at
the time of marriage and occassion like fasi (ozr) and (nku) charity and
during the ritual of Punsawan (iqalou), seemant (lheUr), and Yagnas etc. the
wife as religious partner-always sites on the right side on the husband.
According to shastras the right-side of man and the left-side of the wife and
pure. That is why the Raksha-Sutra (j{kklw=k) is tied on the woman. The right
hand of the man and the left-side of the woman are able in conjuction to do
all good needs. On all other occassions such as in chariot, on costs etc. the
wife should sit on the left-side this is the injuction of the shastras.
The seven steps (lIrinh), are indicative of the seven Lokas-Bhu, Bhuva
etc., seven Rishi seven sounds of music (LirLoj ) seven
patals(lIrikrky),seven rays of the Sun, seven colours, seven corns
(LirkkU;), seven metals (lIr/krq), seven continents (lIr}hi), seven
mountains seven natures (lIrizd`fr) etc. etc. Accordingly, the seven
steps denote firmness (i.e.

15
Then the bridegroom applies sindoor-red powder in the Maang
(ekax) of the bride. The word maang is a corrupt form of
Red and
Sanskrit word mangla which means auspicious.
white when combined becomes anspicious.
When Kalash
(Dy'k) is worshipped, red and while clothes are used.
Red
powder and Atta (powered wheat or rice) are used for decorating
the place of worship, On forehead also red powder and white
rice are applied. That is why the bride wears red clothes and the
bridegroom wears white clothes at the times of putting the knot
during the marriage ceremony. It is evident, therefore, that the
bridegroom represents white things and the bride red things. While
applying sindoor (Red powder) in the brides maang, the
bridegroom prays : lqeaxfyfj;a o/wfjeka lesri';r] lkSHkkX;eL;S nRok ;kFkkLr foijsruA
In the word of this Rig Vedic Mantra the bridegroom prays that
the bride may always be auspicious and asks the persons present
to bless her before departing. In the end the bridegroom, painting
out the Polar-star to the bride and exhorting her to the follow the
family tradition chants ihe following mantras from the Rig Ved.
bgSo Lra ek fo ;ks"VA fo'oek;qO;ZEuqde~
hMUrkS iq=kSuZIr`fHkeksZnekuh Los x`gsA Xosn
10-85-42
(R. V. )
May the couple never separate from each other ; may they attain a
long life and pass their lives merely in the comp-any of their sons and
grandsons,

16
You are firm and I see as you such. You are worthy of my protection,
you remain stead-fast with me. The Great Lord has United you with
me. May you bear progreny and live for hundred years.
/zqoefl /zqoa Roka i';fe /zqoSf/ iks";s ef; Hke~ Roknkr~
c`gLifreZ;k iR;k iztkorh latho 'kjn% 'kre~A