Clare Austin

Marriage and Family

Assessment 1: Love Theories
There are plenty of theories out there that psychologists have come up with when it
comes to love. One of these theories was introduced by Robert Sternberg. His theory states that
love is composed of three components which are intimacy, passion, and commitment. It breaks
down different types of love and which components are present in each. There are types of love
that have one component as well as those that have two components and that of three. Liking is
located on the top of the triangle since it only is intimacy and is basically closeness. An example
of this would be friendship. Theres neither long-term commitment nor passion. Infatuation is on
the left because it involves only passion. Its basically the physical attraction aspect. Theres no
emotional closeness involved and an example would be a short relationship such as if two people
have a thing with each other. Empty love is on the right because it has neither passion nor
intimacy, but it does have commitment to hold a relationship together. As for two component
love, there is romantic love which has intimacy and passion, companionate love which has
intimacy and commitment, and last is fatuous love which has passion and commitment. The type
of love that falls under all three components is consummate love. This basically is the ideal love
that everyone wants to have.
Another known theory on love was by John Lee. He categorized six basic love styles. The
first style is Eros. Its pretty much the enjoyment of the relationship and is both physically and
emotionally passionate. The second style is Ludus. Its a more playful type of love that is meant
to keep the other person interested and having fun. The third type is Storge. Its the more solid
type of love in that it usually comes from a friendship and is about basically being a rock for the

other person. The next type is Pragma. With this style, its all about helping each other out in
achieving some sort of common goal. Mania is the romantic style of love. Its mainly feeling
special to one another and making sure the other knows theyre special through emotions. The
final love style Lee came up with is Agape. This style is basically doing everything possible to
put the other person first. Its a selfless love style.
The final theory up for comparison is Reisss Wheel Theory of Love. This theory
basically states the four stages of love and how love develops. The first stage is rapport. This is
the stage based on respect and mutual trust. Next is self-revelation which is when intimate
information is shared with the other person. After that would be the mutual dependency which is
basically, as the title states, developing dependence on one another. Last is the personality need
fulfillment. Thats pretty much the development of emotional support for each other.
The theory I would have to agree most with is the triangle theory. It makes sense that a
solid relationship would have to have each of the three components in order to be maintained and
of quality. A relationship without any one of those would be seriously lacking the overall
fullness. Commitment is necessary in order to stay together. Intimacy is what gets the
relationship together while passion keeps it strong, and commitment makes it last.

Sternbergs Triangular Love Scale: Worksheet 32

For the scoring, my intimacy with my boyfriend was 131, the passion was 99, and the
commitment was 122. It states on the worksheet that having scores that are similar in each of the
three categories would indicate consummate love. I would agree with what the test showed in
terms of the distribution of points in each category. I would say that our relationship does have a
higher value of commitment and intimacy versus passion. But being that all three categories
received scores of above average, I can comfortably say that the test confirmed the overall
strength of his and my relationship.