Neuro-Linguistic Programming - NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP, offers a powerful set of models and techniques to
help understand and improve communication and to enhance influencing behaviour.
Its name derives from the disciplines that nurtured its early development:
neurology - the brain, and how we organise the information we receive

linguistics - the study of the nature and structure of human speech
programming observable patterns (programmes) of behaviour.
Here, well begin by looking at some of the basic models behind NLP, then introduce some of the
techniques that can help not only your communication and influencing skills but change the way
you look at the world.
Background
Models of excellence
Representational systems
Sub-modalities
Filters the map is not the territory
Metaprograms
Techniques
Deletions, distortions and generalisations the meta model
Accessing cues
Rapport
Sub-modality shifts
Reframing
Anchoring
Summary
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Models of excellence
NLP began in California, in the mid-1970s, when graduate Richard Bandler joined a group at
the University of Santa Cruz headed by linguistics professor John Grinder.
What fascinated Bandler and Grinder was the huge variation in people's effectiveness as
communicators, in particular why some people are such extraordinarily gifted communicators
and influencers. Just what was their gift? What was it that made them so effective?
More importantly, could it be learned?
To answer these questions, Bandler and Grinder chose to study excellence. In fact, NLP is
sometimes defined as the art and science of personal excellence.
They studied three exceptional exponents in different fields of therapy: Fritz Perls, the cocreator of gestalt therapy, Virginia Satir, a renowned family therapist and Milton Eriksson, a
pioneering hypno-therapist.
By examining writings and recordings, as well as through extensive questioning and observation,
Bandler and Grinder established a number of underlying patterns, or programmes, of thinking
and behaviour that made the three therapists so effective.
The next, crucial step was to break down and model each pattern or programme. This meant
finding and describing the important elements and processes, including the unconscious
elements that even the outstanding exponents were unaware of.
The earliest models Bandler and Grinder developed were built exclusively around language sets
of questions to probe and improve our understanding of what someone else was really
experiencing.
Later, they and colleagues added an array of non-verbal cues eye movements, gestures,
breathing patterns that gave insights into specific kinds of thought process. For example, after
studying hypno-therapist Milton Eriksson, they developed a model that could be split into:
language patterns that are kept deliberately vague to induce a trance and gain
access to the unconscious
pacing techniques that follow the other persons thoughts, their breathing, even
their speed of speech
leading techniques that direct the other persons thoughts, their breathing and
their pace of speech.
What happened next astonished Bandler and Grinder.
Can programmes be learned?

Having generated their Milton model, Bandler and Grinder found that they could conduct
sessions with real patients and replicate Erikssons patterns of behaviour or programmes.
Extraordinarily, they even matched Erikksons success rate.
And it wasnt just the Milton model. They got similar results with the programmes theyd
modelled for Perls and Satir.
This opened the door to the idea that:
excellence could be modelled and expressed as a programme

any such programme could be learned and replicated by other people.
In short, by learning and adopting the models or techniques of outstanding or excellent

individuals, people could improve their own performance.
A trail of techniques
Since those early days NLP has spawned a huge array of models and techniques to try to help
improve performance.
It has developed more as a set of tools rather than any overarching theory: in fact, Bandler has
described NLP as an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.
For example, the non-verbal cues derived from the study of Milton Erikkson pacing and leading
techniques have been incorporated into rapport, a key element in influencing behaviour.
NLPs trail remains highly practical. The acid test of NLP is usefulness. If you think a technique
will help, try it. If it helps, keep using it. If it doesnt, try something else.
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Representational systems
One further offshoot of the work with Eriksson was a fundamental tenet of NLP: that we all think
and make maps of reality using what are called representational systems.
These systems use, as their primary input, the information we receive from our five senses:
visual (images)
auditory (sounds)
kinaesthetic (touch and internal feelings)
gustatory (tastes)
olfactory (smells)
We use these systems internally when we remember, consider, ponder etc. Internally, we
visualise a scene, perhaps as we recall a situation. Or a particular smell may bring to life a
memory buried deep in the distant past. The smell may kick in other senses we begin to feel
how we felt when the buried memory actually happened.
While seeing is the most common sense we use in thinking, we each have our own sensory
preference our preferred primary representation system.
For some, its visual seeing pictures inwardly and describing them in visual language. Others
natural preference is to hear and speak in sounds while others are much more inclined to recall
feelings rather than images or sounds.
The consequences for communication

Understanding what your sensory preference is, as well as other peoples, is crucial: because
communication difficulties are often little more than two people speaking in
incompatible representation systems.
In accessing cues, well look at some of the clues you can use to find out more about peoples
sensory preferences including your own.
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Sub-modalities
By the late 1970s, Bandler had further analysed representational systems in terms of their
component parts. For example, take a second now to visualise a person you know....
Now, ask yourself these questions:
is the image clear or blurred?

is it black & white or colour?
how bright or dim is that colour?
is the person close up or far away?
what is their expression?
These features of your visualisation are called sub-modalities. They can be applied equally to
sounds loud versus soft, harsh versus gentle or to feelings hot or cold, intense or diffuse.
Here is a list of some sub-modalities for three of the senses:
Sense (modality)
Sub-modality
Visual
Brightness Contrast
Size Focus
Colour/b&w Movement
Vividness Perspective
Hue 3D/flat
Distance
Auditory
Pitch Clarity
Tempo Distance
Volume Stereo/mono
Rhythm
Kinaesthetic
Intensity Texture
Duration Movement
Temperature Pressure
In sub-modality shifts, you can see how you can use this concept to change your responses to
particular situations.
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Filters the map is not the territory

So, our sensory data provides us with our representational system, our map of reality. And
our maps are based around our own sensory preference.
While our sensory preference may come under one of five types visual, auditory, kinaesthetic
and so on - our map is, in fact, totally unique. It is like no other. Everybody has his or her own,
individual map.
This is because our map of reality is filtered, not just by our sensory preference, but also by our
own unique set of:
beliefs our convictions that certain things are true, while others are false
values our feelings about what is right and what is wrong
attitudes our values and beliefs around a particular subject
memories who we are, what we have experienced
decisions related to memories, include limiting decisions like dont rock the boat
metaprograms the most unconscious of the filters that affect how we process
information (metaprograms).
Deletions, distortions and generalisations

NLP identifies three main filter processes:
deletion what we dont notice or play down or forget

distortion the interpretations we place on reality
generalisation the global conclusions we make based on previous experience.
These filters determine what information is retained as our internal representation our internal
pictures, sounds, dialogue and feelings that, in turn, determines our particular state: sad or
happy, motivated, challenged or excited.
You can find out more about detecting these deletions, distortions and generalisation in the meta
model.
The consequences for communication

Our sensory preference, in conjunction with our unique set of filters, means we all have
different maps of the same territory and we all have incomplete maps of the territory,
hence the phrase the map is not the territory.
In other words:
we each interpret facts differently, according to our filters

the same facts will get attached to different feelings and emotions in different
people
the language patterns people use delete, distort and generalise according to each
persons unique map.
Clearly, the consequences for communication are huge. Communication becomes, on the one
hand, an attempt to understand the other persons map how they tick while, on the other,
understanding the filters you apply to your own map.
The better you can read another persons map the better will be your communication with that
person. Not only that, but your ability to influence them should also improve.
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Metaprograms
These are the most unconscious of the filters we use to process sensory information. None of
them is right or wrong. They simply reflect the way different people process information.
Early on, NLP practitioners suggested there were over 50 such metaprograms but gradually, over
the years, these have been whittled down to less than 15. Here are a few.
Towards/Away from
Some people are motivated towards goals, while others are motivated away from non-goals.
For example, when some people go on a diet, they think about their goal their slimmer, fitter
frame, ie their goal. Others, though, will think about the food they cant have.
At work:
towards people stay focused on goals and talk about what they want. They need
jobs with clear goals and rewards.
away-from people recognise problems easily and like to concentrate on solving
them. Their motivation to avoid problems and consequences makes them excellent
at finding errors and faults.
Internal/External
Internal people know within themselves that theyve done a good job. Their fulfilment is
internally generated. Any feedback to the contrary is simply dismissed think Margaret
Thatcher. External people need outside feedback for fulfilment. They take criticism personally
and are easily swayed by what other people think. So:
internal people can work with very little feedback

external people need lots of feedback in order to know how they are doing. They
prefer close management.
Proactive/Reactive
Proactive people initiate and get on with it. They are likely to make decisions quickly. They are
best suited to positions that allow then to take the initiative. Too much waiting to respond will
frustrate them.
Reactive people bide their time, or wait for someone else to initiate. They are best suited to
positions where they know what they are supposed to do and can react to it. Without anything
to react to, they will do nothing.

General/Specific
General people like to think about the big picture, the long-term strategy. But detail overwhelms
or bores them.
Specific people, on the other hand, cant wait to get their hands dirty with the detail. Abstract
thought, though, is an anathema to them.
Timelines past, present, future
Some people seem to live in the future, always talking about what they are going to do or
accomplish.
Others constantly refer back to the past while others live simply for the present moment.
The consequences for influencing

Recognising these different metaprograms in yourself and others is important not only for
communication but also because:
these metaprograms are key to motivation and decision making

identifying a persons metaprograms makes it more likely that you can influence
and/or motivate them.
For example, arguing around intricate details will do little or nothing to influence a general
person.
Nor will talking up the benefits of some action in terms of an end-goal do much to motivate an
away-from person. But if you ply the away-from person with the benefits in terms of the
problems it will avoid or solve, you are far more likely to get their support.
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Deletions, distortions and generalisations - the meta model

Everyones map of reality is filtered to generate deletions, distortions and generalisations.
Where NLP can help is that it has generated a model called the meta model that identifies a
number of language patterns for these processes. The model is too complicated to describe in
full, but we can give a couple of examples for each.
Deletions
Unspecified nouns
A common deletion is to leave a noun unspecified, as in:
"I could do with a break..."
This doesnt tell us much. For example, it doesnt tell us the kind of break they
could do with or what it is they need a break from. You need to ask them to
specify, for example "what kind of a break?".
Unspecified verbs
Verbs may also be unspecified, as in:
"They let me down..."
Again, the absence of any sense of how this person has been let down limits what
can be done here until you question them further.
Distortions
Presupposition
A common distortion is to presuppose some truth that may not be true, as in:
"I couldnt do that at my age..."
Such presuppositions need to be confronted, as in, "In what way is your age
preventing you from doing this?". In other word, you need to see if the
presupposition is true.
Mind reading
A common distortion is to presume to know what someone else is thinking, as in:
"You dont care..." or "You dont trust me..."
Your questions need to ask them how they know such things to be true.
Generalisations
Universal quantifiers
The key language signs are easy to spot, involving certain recurring words like:
never, always, every, no one
While these are small words, they can have enormous power. They imply no choice,
no alternative, even no hope. Fortunately, any challenge of these so-called
universals very quickly shows them to be, at best, untrue, at worst, absurd.
Modal operator of possibility
This is what someone thinks they can or cannot do. Again, the language pattern is
easy to spot involving words like:
cant, havent, wont
A common response to these is to ask why they cant or wont.

Remember, you should apply this kind of analysis not just to what other people say but also to
what you, yourself.
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Accessing cues
We all have a sensory preference when it comes to representational system. Some people
are more visual while others are much more feelings orientated.
The better you can understand someones preferred form of representation, the better you can
communicate with them. And the more likely you will be to choose the right thing to say to
influence them effectively.
NLP suggests that you can get a number of accessing cues to a persons preferences, which can
be split into verbal cues, non-verbal cues and eye-access cues.
Only the three most common sensory preferences visual, auditory and kinaesthetic- will be
covered here.
Verbal cues
This table lists some of the expressions that tend to be favoured by people whose
representational system is dominated by a particular sense.
Visual
Auditory
Kinaesthetic
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Phrases like:
that looks good

I can see that
how do you view it
Ill keep an eye out.
Phrases like:
that went with a

bang
I hear what youre
saying
how does that sound
Ill keep my ear to
the ground.
Phrases like:
Ive got a good

feeling about it
I sense that
give me your gut
reaction
Ill keep in touch.
Non-verbal cues
Visual people tend to speak quickly. Ideas happen very quickly, and their language has trouble
keeping up.
Auditory people use a more resonant tone and tend to speak more slowly and rhythmically
than, say, visual people. They also often adopt a rhythmic body movement like rocking a foot or
tapping a pencil.
Kinaesthetic people are altogether slower in verbal responses than visual or auditory people,
taking time to feel their answers.
Eye-access cues
While eyes may, or may not be, the windows to the soul, NLP really does believe them to be the
window to the representational system. So, visualisation, sound creation, even feelings are said
to be associated with particular movements of the eyes.
A note of caution is needed here as even the most enthusiastic practitioners of NLP recognise
that the trials to prove this association have all proved inconclusive.
Equally, the direction of the motion is dependent on whether a person is left or right-handed. The
movements given here, whether they to the left or to the right:
are all for right-handed people

define left and right from the perspective of the eyes, not the person looking at the
eyes.
Visualisation
This involves upward movement of the eyes:
up and left is image recall a memory of something weve seen

up and right is image construction imagining a situation.
Sound creation
This involves predominantly horizontal eye movements:
eyes horizontal left indicates sound recall a memory of something weve heard
eyes horizontal right indicates sound construction something we have imagined.

Feelings
This involves predominantly downward movement to the right. (Eyes down left is
commonly happens when we talk, or think, to ourselves.)
So, if you spot that people regularly raise their eyes, this can be a sign of a visual preference,
while a preponderance of horizontal movements could suggest an auditory preference.
There can be further uses for such eye access cues, this time more related to recall versus
construction. For example, if someone tells you they have overheard someone say something
and you ask them what else was said:
a horizontal movement to the left would suggest sound recall in other words,
they are remembering and could be telling the truth
a horizontal movement to the right would suggest sound construction in other
words, perhaps they arent remembering, they could be making it up.
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Rapport
Rapport lies at the heart of influencing. Its a quality of harmony and mutual acceptance that
exists between people who are at ease with one another and where communication is occurring
easily.
Most of the techniques that NLP brings to this were derived from the studies on hypno-therapist
Milton Erikkson. Theyre all about picking up on the signals the other person is sending out, and
responding with your own signals, verbal and non-verbal, to generate that rapport.
Sensory acuity
The basic signals to look out for include:
voice tone and tempo high, low, fast or slow, pausing
breathing shallow, fast, slow

body language look for changes from the norm
sensory preference are there any verbal, non-verbal or eye-access cues to the
persons preferred representational system?
The more you can develop your sensory acuity, the better you will be able to read the other
persons state of mind. Experienced NLP practitioners claim that the following can offer useful
clues, primarily because they are unconscious signals that we have no control over:
skin colour
We all know about blushing, or becoming flushed when we get flustered. Subtler
colour changes can reflect mood or emotions.
To sense this you need to observe someone. Look for contrasts first. Compare the
nose colour with forehead colour. Once you see the different colours in the different
sectors of the face, any colour changes become easier to see. And, quite quickly,
you learn to associate colours with particular moods.
muscle changes
Jaw clenching is a common sign of anger, stress or tension.
Subtler signs can be seen not only at the jaw, but at the outer corners of the eye
and around the mouth. These sorts of changes are highly unique to individuals, so
you need to observe a person for a period to map how these muscle changes
match their mood.
lower lips
Lower lips are difficult, if not impossible, to control consciously, except when we
speak. This potentially makes them an excellent indicator of moods or emotions if
you can establish a pattern.
Look for features like movement, dryness or trembling
feet
Feet can be very expressive. And the message they send can be at odds with the
rest of the body. This is termed foot leakage.
For example, a person can seem, from head to ankle, to be very relaxed and in
control. But, under the table, their feet are tapping away furiously, a clear sign of
some anxiety.
Listening
Rapport relies upon you:
giving your full attention whole body listening with eye contact, nods
reflecting back whats been said
reflecting back feelings
summarising checking for a mutual understanding of whats being said.
Mirroring/matching
This may include:
posture
We do this naturally. The next time you have coffee in a caf, check out the tables
around you. Youll quickly spot all kinds of posture mirroring people leaning
forward, legs crossed or uncrossed.
But be careful. Be too blatant with your mirroring and people will be offended.
crossover mirroring
This is a subtler variation on matching body postures. Here, you identify a
movement that the other person repeatedly displays, and match it with a different
movement of your own.
So, for example, if the person repeatedly runs their hand through their hair, you
match this by, say, or crossing your legs. The movement you choose isnt
important, its the matching rhythm that generates a sense that you are in sync
with the other person.
Voice tempo and tone

People speak fast or slow, with or without pauses. Shifting your tempo toward the
person youre speaking to will be picked up by them as a sign of rapport. The same
applies to tone high or low, hard or soft.
Breathing
Matching the other persons breathing rapid, shallow, deep helps establish
rapport. That said, this is likely to be the most difficult to detect. The layers of
clothes we wear obscure our view of the movement of the chest and abdomen.
The area to watch is the edge of the shoulders, silhouetted against a background.
These will usually show a discernible rise and fall.
Pacing/leading
If mirroring and matching recognise and echo the other persons state of mind, pacing and
leading go a step further they try to change that state of mind.
For example, if the other person is irate, talking in a fast, staccato rhythm, your original
response should be to match this tempo and delivery, developing other mirroring at the same
time.
Once you feel the person has accepted your mirroring, then you can start to lead him or her
away from their initial state using a number of techniques:
reduce the tempo of individual sentences and lengthen the gaps between
sentences. In other words, slow things down.
change your body posture to a more relaxed state
You could even consider using what, in hypnosis, is called an embedded command. For
example, if you were to appeal to the other person and say they should relax, they will resist or
reject this.
But if, instead, you say Im not suggesting that you relax now because it may not be the right
time for you, youre far more likely to get the person to relax. Thats because, while their
conscious mind hears everything you said, their unconscious mind only picks up the embedded
command, ...you relax now...
Congruence
When you are trying to achieve rapport, its vital that all your messages are sending the same
signal. This is called congruence.
If there is a mismatch, say between the words we use and our body language, the other person
will detect it, if only subconsciously, and the rapport will be disrupted.
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Sub-modality shifts
So far, weve looked at how NLP can help you understand other peoples maps of reality, and
how this can help you communicate with them, and influence them.
But, NLP also lets you look at your own map. Not only that, it can help you re-write your
map.
For example, sub-modalities describes how our internal representations can be broken down into
different components: visualisation involves sub-modalities like brightness and colour, while
sound involves pitch and tempo, and so on.

The real power of this concept of is that:
our response to our internal representation is determined by these sub-modalities

if we can change these sub-modalities what Bandler calls a sub-modality shift
we can change our response.
An example of such a shift is when a memory of particularly unpleasant past experience affects
our present-day life. The impression left by the experience is so strong that our internal
representation is incredibly vivid or loud or intense. If you like, the sub-modality sliders are slid
full on.
What a sub-modality shift tries to do is slide the sliders down. If the internal representation is:
vividly coloured, then drain it of colour until it is grey or black & white
a deep, damning voice, then raise the pitch until the voice is a squeak
a cold sensation, then try to warm it up.
You could even apply this to your timeline. For example, a fear of change is often a symptom of
a more general dislike of the future. Some people feel far more comfortable focussed on the
present or even the past.
One way to tackle this would be to consider the sub-modalities of your representation of the
future. If you visualise it, is it a dark, gloomy place? If so, try turning up the light. Literally make
the future seem brighter.
Or if you hear the future, is it a loud cacophony of noise? If so, either turn down the volume, or
try to find a pattern in the cacophony.
Associated/disassociated states
One of the most powerful shifts is to shift your perception of yourself to move from an
associated to a disassociated state.
One reason for the intensity, the sometimes crippling intensity, of a traumatic memory is that
you see, hear and feel it first-hand - effectively the event is happening to you all over again in
real-time. This is the associated state.
But if you can step outside the memory disassociate yourself from it the power and
intensity of the feeling generated by the memory is diminished.
A useful metaphor here is to think of the memory as a film projected on to a cinema screen. In
the associated state, you appear in the scene of the screen. In the disassociated state, youre
now in the projector room, watching yourself on the screen. The projector room is the present,
the screen the past.
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Reframing
Not only can you change the different components of your map, you can change the way you
look at it. This is what reframing does.
Reframing says that anytime we draw our map, we do so in a particular frame of reference. For
example, imagine youre stuck in traffic and youre becoming more and more frustrated. The
frame of reference youre applying is that you should be in motion, driving. Hence your
frustration.
But, if your frame of reference was that being stationary will give you some uninterrupted time
to think about any subject you like, then the experience is no longer frustrating, its empowering.
Reframing is this ability to take a less than desirable event and place it in a positive light. This is
not denial. Remember, there is no one definitive map. You create your own. You choose what an
event means to you.
One of the big differences in successful and unsuccessful people is the ability to reframe negative
situations. While the average person looks at the undesirable result as failure, the successful
person looks at it simply as an outcome, then tries something else and ultimately produces the
desired result.
Equally, it is a valuable control tool. All too often, we feel a loss of control, be it at work or
elsewhere. Thats partly because we see things in a single frame of reference. But, by reframing,
we re-affirm to ourselves that we have options and choices. That we have some control.
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Anchoring
We all have particular situations that we dread. It could be giving a presentation, or attending a
job interview. Or it might be a visit to the dentist.
Whatever the situation, it induces anything from a state of discomfort to state of fear, or even
terror in us. These states are termed unresourceful states. They weaken, they disempower us.
We may not even have to face the experience. It may simply be enough to encounter some
trigger. For example, the simple smell of disinfectant may be enough to induce a state of terror
because that smell involuntarily makes us think of the dentist. This is similar to the classical
behaviourist experiments of Pavlov and his dogs, where feeding was linked to the ringing of a
bell. After a time, all Pavlov had to do was ring the bell, and the dogs would salivate.
This kind of conditioned response, leading to an unresourceful state, is called anchoring. But,
what NLP practitioners asked was, if anchors cause us to shift into an unresourceful state, could
they also do the reverse?
Could you train yourself to respond to a stimulus, such that when you were faced with an
experience you dreaded, you could replace that state of dread with a far more resourceful state
like a feeling of empowerment, of confidence, of strength?
And could you bring that stimulus to bear in an instant such that the change from unresourceful
state to resourceful state could be instantaneous?
The answer to both these questions is yes.
The anchoring technique

1. Identify the emotional state you want confidence, calmness, enthusiasm?
This step is crucial. You must define very specifically how you want to feel. Saying that
you do not want to feel anxious or tense wont work because you still do not know what
you do want. Also, the mind responds far more effectively to positive commands than to
negative commands.
2. Recall a particular time in your life when you felt the desired state.
Pick a powerful example. Check your memories to relive times when you had this desired
state. The context is unimportant. What is important is recalling a few particularly strong
experiences and then selecting the most powerful one.
3. Create the state in your imagination.

Put yourself back into that experience as if it is happening in this moment. Notice what
you see, hear what you were hearing, feel what you were feeling in the moment. Allow it
to be as if it is happening.
4. Establish anchors.
Notice how the state builds to a peak and then declines. Now repeat step 3 only this time
just as the state is about to peak, simultaneously:
make a specific, hidden movement with your fingers or with your whole hand
say a word or phrase to evoke the feeling
visualise an image that represents the state.
For example, press your thumb and first finger together you softly say to yourself, peace,
while you picture someone who represents calmness for you, eg a nun or monk. Hold the
state for a few moments, release the anchors and then break state (change your
emotional state by thinking about something completely different and by changing your
posture).
1. Repeat step 4 five times so as to build a resilient anchor. This repetition is crucial.
2. Test the anchors by firing them.

Make the unique gesture, say the word/phrase, picture the person that represents
calmness and check that you do experience the desired state.
You will know that you have successfully anchored the resource when you can access the
desired state by firing any one of the component anchors i.e. the visual (picture), auditory
(word/phrase) or feeling (gesture) anchor. You ought to feel the anchored state within 1015 seconds.
If the feeling is not satisfactory then choose a different experience that more precisely
gives you the appropriate state.
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Summary
NLP is a powerful set of models and techniques that can help you improve your communication
and influencing skills.
Not only that, you can apply it to yourself to change and empower the way you look at the world.
Because NLP states that you create your own map of reality, it opens the door to you to be able
to re-draw your map and give yourself new choices in life and at work.
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