Liz Barnett

Anthropology 8010
Fall 2013

NEITHER HERE NOR THERE:

PARENTING IN ATLANTA S TRANSNATIONAL 1
M EXICAN COM M UNITY.

Introduction:

It is a crisp Sunday morning in mid-October and husband and wife, Angel and Nalley
decide to take their three young children to Plaza Fiesta for the afternoon after church. Angel is
dressed in a nice pair of dark blue jeans, a green and white checkered shirt, and leather boots.
He finishes off the look with a soft brown belt with a large silver belt buckle. Nalley wears a
silver-brown blouse, black pants, and black wedge shoes. She styles her outfit with a black and
white, two string pearl necklace and a silver wristband. Periodically their 4 year old son
complains about the kakis he was made to wear. Their two daughters, ages 3 and 7, appear
content in their pink and white sun dresses and matching pigtails with bows. At the entrance to
Plaza Fiesta, a man selling paletas from his makeshift bicycle cart catches the attention of the
children. Almost as if on cue, the three of them take turns begging their parents for a paleta.
Nalley quickly puts an end to her childrens pleas by reminding them that they are here to eat
real Mexican food inside and if they dont be quiet they wont eat anything. Defeated, the
children quietly enter the plaza.

In the 1980s, a transnational perspective emerged to explain the newest tendency of migrants who do
not strive to simply assimilate into U.S. society. Instead, they attempt to retain close ties with their home
countries while selectively adopting elements from the new homeland. Nina Glick-Schiller proposes a
transnational theory that disputes the previously thought inevitability of severing ties with the old country.
Instead of the past belief that the transition from immigrant to ethnic to native will inevitably occur within
two to three generations, Glick-Schiller argues that new migrants and their children, especially those from
Latin America, may remain linked to their home countries for long periods. Robert Courtney Smith uses
the term transnational life when discussing the practices and relationships linking migrants and their
children to their home country and rooting them in the U.S. Transnationalism refers to a process through
which migrants cross national boundaries and synthesize two societies in a single social field, linking
their country of origin with their country of immigration.
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Once inside, the children forget about the previous minutes ice cream disappointment
and make haste towards the play area. The oldest sister quickly restrains her younger siblings
and waits for the okay from her parents. Once given, the three sprint over to the play zone. While
the children play, Angel and Nalley browse the near-by booths, occasionally checking in on the
children. Later on I would learn that they trusted their oldest (7 years old) to look out for her
younger siblings. After about 10 minutes, Nalley and Angel walk back over to the play area.
They become annoyed when they hear their middle child (4 years old) playing with another child
in English. They both scold him for speaking English in here. One by one, the older daughter
rounds up her siblings and they leave the play zone. Before heading out to eat, they do a lap
around the plaza, looking at the various displays and entering a few stores to look for jeans for
Angel and a Real Madrid football jersey for their son. They end up not buying anything except
an order of churros for everyone to share. Finally, they end up back up where they started, in the
food court section, where they try to decide what to order. The children assert that they want
pizza and hotdogs but Angel and Nalley remain steadfast that they must eat like a Mexican,
because it is Sunday. After a minute or two of whining and crying, Nalley and Angle give in.
Their oldest child orders a slice of pepperoni pizza and the other two order quesadillas. The
youngest child drinks aqua de pina, while the other two drink Horchata. Nalley and Angel
explain to me how important it is that their children like to eat authentic Mexican food and
complain how their children have gotten used to eating American food served to them in their
school lunches, and now that is all they want. I ask if they have communicated this frustration to
school employees and they both answer no. They do not feel comfortable doing so. I ask why and
they explain how their English is not good enough to do so and it is best to just keep quiet. We
just dont want to cause problems they remind me

In this paper I examine the numerous ways in which Latino@ parents (the majority from
Mexico) struggle to raise their children in the urban Atlanta environment. Originally, this project
started off with my interest in examining the role of celebrations in forming a Pan-Latin@
community identity. I had planned to examine the ways in which non-Mexican members of the
Atlanta Hispanic community participated in, and made meaning of, Plaza Fiestas large Mexican
Independence Day Celebration. However, when I arrived to Plaza Fiesta on September 16th, I
was immediately taken back and intimidated by the hundreds of people who filled the Plaza. It
quickly became apparent that my initial plan would be impractical given the hectic, loud, and
distracting nature of the celebration. Finding non-Mexican participants in a crowd of hundreds
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would have been nearly impossible, as would have been successfully interviewing them in the
environment of the fiesta.
As my initial shock over the enormous size of the fiesta wore off, I started to observe the
celebration and its participants actions in more depth. As the day went on, I began to notice the
family-orientated nature of the celebration. Almost all of the vendors and activities at the fiesta
were structured for young children. These included many vendors selling children toys, candies,
and services aimed at children (Girl Scouts, diapers, afterschool tutoring, etc.), a blow-up
obstacle course for kids, and a childrens soccer shooting challenge booth. The vast majority of
participants in the celebration came in family units - usually with small children in tow. It
became apparent to me that children were the main focus of this celebration. I began to ponder
what role did culture play in ideas of good parenting in Atlantas transnational Mexican
community? When I arrived home and started reading through all of the materials that I acquired
during the fiesta, I came across an article in one of the Atlantas Latin@ magazine publications,
Padres y Hijos, which stressed the importance of parents role in passing on Latin@ culture to
their children born in the United States. This article solidified my research agenda. I became
interested in understanding various barriers parents experience to raise their children as Mexican
in Atlanta.
Methodology and Research Process:
Due to the short time frame of this project, the course of my field work was more or less
serendipitous. I used a snowballing method to establish contacts with the parents who would
method become my main informants. I was somewhat selective in the process of choosing who I
would or would not interview. I was most interested in connecting with Mexican parents who
were not American citizens or permanent residents. I questioned how this demographic of
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relatively unstable non-citizens and non permanent residents struggle to raise their children in
a country that they themselves are not officially considered a part of? With this being said, four
of my five formal interviews are with Mexican parents who are in this country without
documentation or who have overstayed their initial visa. The uncertain and unstable nature of
these parents position here in the United States certainly affect certain parenting styles and
decisions. Each formal interview lasted from 45 minutes to two hours. They were all recorded
and transcribed in their totality. I intended these interviews to be free flowing in nature and did
not develop a strict set of interview questions and categories. Instead, I started off each of my
formal interviews with the same question: what are some of your fondest childhood
memories/experiences growing up in Mexico? Their response to this first question would
dictate the following course of the interview. In some cases, parents were interviewed together
and in other cases, they were separate. In families where the children were already grownup, I
took the opportunity to talk with them about their childhood experiences. These conversations
gave important insights into the perceived benefits and non-benefits of certain parental decisions
and the sustainability of certain beliefs and parenting practices.
I also spent upwards of ten hours conducting participant observation in many of Atlantas
public Latin@ community areas. The majority of this time was spent observing families in Plaza
Fiesta, located on Buford Hwy. Based on suggestions from some of my interviewees, I also
traveled to various Mexican markets and shopping centers in the Atlanta area. During these trips,
I took the opportunity to conduct numerous informal interviews. Based on some of the themes
that I was developing from my longer formal interview, I would ask them specific questions
addressing these specific themes. In most cases, people were happy and willing to speak with
me. In order to make these informal interview encounters more comfortable and minimize my

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power position as the researcher, I did not take notes during the interview but made them directly
after. I was worried that writing notes during the interview would inhibit peoples responses to
me.
Through this fieldwork, it became apparent that parents are conscious that their
vulnerable status here in the U.S. could mean a prompt and unplanned return to their home
country. It seems that this underlying uncertainty leaves parents wanting to ensure that their
children are raised to be culturally competent in their home country. However, their vulnerable
position in US society hinders this ability. Through my field work here in Atlanta, it became
evident that Mexican parents are left to salvage the small bits of culture that are reproducible
within the often constraining context of life and society in the South East United States. In the
first part of this paper I will address three underlying themes of parenting that I found critical to
Mexican parents childrearing in Atlanta. Throughout my fieldwork it became apparent that
parents emphasized the importance of food choice and preparation, the absolute necessity for
their children to learn and speak Spanish, and the centrality of the family unit in daily life. While
parents are proud of the steps that they take to raise their children as Mexican in the United
States, there was an underlying theme of sadness and loss in their stories. The final part of this
paper will address how parents understanding of their marginalized status here in the United
States fosters a tough realization that they are limited as parents.

Pa Hacer la Tortilla en Casa (Making Tortillas at Home):

Food and Cooking as a Ritualistic Exchange

After our two hour interview together, Jose and Laura (husband and wife) are excited and eager
to demonstrate to me the way that they make tortillas from scratch. As he makes his way to the
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kitchen, Jose asks if Laura has already prepared the masa (dough). Laura reminds her husband
of the cut on her finger and her inability to properly knead the dough. But she has already laid
out all of the necessary ingredients. He apologizes for his forgetfulness and readies himself to
mix the dough by washing off his hands and rolling up his sleeves. As Jose mixes together the
ingredients that Laura set out for him, the couple explains to me how important it is to them to
make tortilla in the house- Jose emphasizes that they ONLY eat tortillas de Maiz (corn). They
explain to me how they know just the right amount of salt and water-something they learned from
their mothers and grandmothers in Mexico. Once Jose is content with the consistency of the
dough, he signals to Laura to prepare heating the comal (flat round or oval griddle or skillet
used to cook tortillas) on the stove. While Laura is preparing the comal on the stove, Jose takes
out their tortilla press and rolls a small ball of dough, approximately one inch in diameter, and
centers it on a circular piece of waxed plastic designed for the making of tortillas. Laura checks
the heat on the comal with her fingers- making sure it was not too hot as to burn the tortillas.
Jose then begins flattening the dough balls in the tortillas press and, one by one, removes the
flattened dough from the plastic cover and carefully slides the tortilla off of the palm of his hand
onto the comal. Only four tortillas fit onto the comal at a time so Laura and Jose need to wait for
each tortilla to be cooked before adding another one to the comal. Unhappy with the way the
first four tortillas are cooking, Laura and Jose throw them in the garbage and grab another
comal from inside their cabinets. Laura explained to me that the other one was getting too hot
and that the thicker one would work better for not burning the tortillas. One by one they cook the
tortillas on the new comal for about 45 seconds on each side. After approximately 16 tortillas
are made, Laura takes the two last tortillas and stuffs them with quesillo (Oaxacan string cheese)
to make quesadillas for her children. I ask how often they go through this process and Jose
responds that anytime they cook Mexican food in the house, they must have fresh tortillas. Laura
adds in that its just something that as Mexicans we just do

Anthropologists have long discussed the importance of food consumption and preparation
in solidifying group membership and creating a sense of local in a globalized world. Food is both
substance and symbol. While it most importantly provides physical nourishment, it is also a key
mode of communication that carries many kinds of meaning (Counihan and Van Esterik 1997).
Many studies have demonstrated that food is a crucial symbol of personal and group identity. It
forms one of the foundations of both individuality and a sense of common membership in a
larger, bounded group (Wilk 1999: 244). Food is of central importance in maintaining
connections to home, and signifying ethnic identity among migrant community members
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(Saunders 2007). Through Latin@ migrants narratives surrounding food, it becomes clear that
the community is actively engaged in constructing the meanings of what they eat to emphasize
their connections with others in Atlanta and with their home country. Through the acts of
cooking, eating and keeping an authentic diet by using ingredients from their home country,
Latina@ migrants here in Atlanta are symbolically asserting their Mexican, Guatemalan,
Colombian, and other Central and South American identity.
During all of my interviews, food emerged as the most significant topic for parents.
Overall, parents pointed to food as the major way they are able to foster a sense of Mexican
identity while raising their children in Atlanta. The importance of food in the transnational
Latin@ community became apparent to me even before I started the interview process. While
conducting numerous hours of participant observation at Plaza Fiesta, I noticed that the majority
of activity in the Plaza was centered around food and eating. During my many hours in Plaza
Fiesta, I saw few people purchase anything besides food or drink. Unlike most shopping centers,
the majority of visitors to Plaza Fiesta were not there to consume typical material objects. Many
of the people I interviewed at the Plaza told me how the Plaza gave them the feeling that they
were back home in Mexico. One interviewee, Maria, explained to me how the space reminded
her of how the markets of Mexico are organized. Here you have all of the similar stores that you
would find over there (Mexico), there is a section and a store for everything you need. Its the
best place to come to find clothing and things that are Mexican that you would think you could
only find in Mexico. Also, the food is just like you find in Mexicohere is the best Mexican
food in all of Atlanta. During my formal interview with Jose and Laura, Jose explained to me
the importance of Plaza Fiesta to him.

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EB: Okay, I asked earlier if there was a place in Atlanta that makes you feel as if
you are in Mexico. Do you have a place where you can go and feel this way?
Jose: At Plaza Fiesta!
Laura: Ahhh, we were talking about this!
EB: yes, and explain to me why it makes you feel this way?
Jose: Plaza Fiesta isis like as if you were in Mexico. Because the food that they
sell there is like the food they sell in Mexico. The clothes that they sell there is like
the clothes that one wears in Mexico. They sell music
Laura: And shoes!
Jose: The music and shoes from our country, too.
EB: Mhh hum
Jose: And ice creams from our country; ahh bread from our country.
Laura: Chicharrones
Jose: Chicharrones. The only thing that is not in our country is the playground
that is there in Plaza Fiesta. But this is for the children.
EB: yeah but the arcades are very popular in Mexico right?
Jose: Yes, yes, as well. Very popular

The manner in which the Plaza is designed, gives its visitors the faade of being back in Mexico.
On Sundays, families dar una vuelta (go for a lap) around the plaza, taking in the sensory
sights, sounds, smells and emotions of being back home. An excerpt from my field notes at Plaza
Fiesta further emphasizes how the sights, smells and interior decorations of the Plaza aim to
achieve this sense of place.
As I park my car and make my way to the entrance, I pass an older man; he dresses in worn out
blue jeans, a black cotton tee-shirt and finishes off the look with a tan, leather cowboy hat. He
mans a paleta (ice pop) cart which is precariously attached to a makeshift bicycle with three
wheels. The side of his cart reads, La Mexicana. Pictures of all the various ice cream and ice
pop options encircle the name Outside the entrance of the Plaza a man, presumably on his
lunch break from working in the kitchen, takes a nap on the metal bench. He is wearing dark pinstriped pants, a white cooking style shirt, and black Crocks on his feet. He doesnt flinch as I
pass by.
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Passing through the entrance into Plaza Fiesta, one is instantly bombarded by the sensory
smells, sounds, and sights of the shopping mall. The smell of onion, garlic, chili and all kinds of
cooked meats and seafood circulate from the food court; instantly grabbing ones attention. A trip
around the food court illuminates the plethora of choices that are offered Adjacent to the food
court is a large arcade and playground area. There are arcades, a variety of games, and rides
for children of all ages. At the end of the arcade section, there is a large play area where the
majority of the younger children play. Here the sounds of children yelling as they play mixes
with the mechanical bells and songs of the arcade machines. Next to the playground area is a
large booth selling a variety of cheap plastic childrens toys. Hanging from the front of the booth
are bright purple and pink Barbie Princess and Hannah Montana backpacks.
Finally, ones eyes move towards the stylistic design of the rest of the plaza. The bright adorning
colors immediately make Plaza Fiesta stand out from the typical shopping mall. Hanging from
the ceilings are hundreds of colorful square papeles picados; Mexican folk art where paper is
cut into elaborate designs. The outside of each store is also painted in a vibrant color different
from the store next-door. A variety of blues, green, yellows, reds, and oranges brighten the
walkway between stores and mimics the color schemes of many old Latin American towns and
cities.
Along with the colors, the walls of the plaza are also modeled after colonial Spanish
architecture that one would expect to see in many Latin American countries. The walls appear to
be made out of stone and have similar arches and squares as buildings in Latin America.
Adding to this classic feeling of Latin American charm, are the lantern-style lights, metal
windowsills, and bell towers that are built into the design of the plaza walls. Like one finds in the
center of most Latin American pueblos, in the center of plaza fiesta, there is large square with a
fancy fountain in the middle. It is easy to see how one could get lost in time and place while
inside Plaza Fiesta.

In addition to Plaza Fiesta, many of the parents that I interviewed highlighted the
importance of Mexican markets in the Atlanta area. For Laura, the Tres Hermanos Mexican
market was the place that most reminded her of Mexico. There the smells of fresh meat and
Mexican produce and fruit make her feel like she is back home.
Laura: they sell, like, all of the food from Mexico. Umm, it smells like meat like
it smells over there (Mexico). You can get all of the meat and cheese, and fruit
and vegetable that you cant find anywhere else but in Mexico.
EB: Oh yeah? Yes, I remember that smell.

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Laura: everyone there are Mexican, all of the people. Mmm. Pure Mexicans This
is a place that makes you feel like you are in Mexico. Where else is there? Well
where they cut hair. Where they cut your hair. It is called La Canastayou can
find it on the corner of Roswell Road and 285 it is like an entire corner that has
stores that are only Mexican they sell everything Mexican. Like there are all
of the vendors on the street like in Mexico. They are selling things like paletas (ice
cream), chicharritas (fried plantains), chicharones (fried pork skin) ellotes (corn
with mayonnaise, Mexican cheese, and chili), and pan dulce (sweet bread). There
is a little bit of everything!

It is important to note that all of the places that Laura identified as giving her the feeling
of being in Mexico were associated with food. Even the place that she goes to get her hair
cut reminds her most of Mexico due to all of the food vendors on the corner. For Maria, a
middle aged women from Northern Mexico, a block in Sunset Park in Brooklyn, New
York is where she feels like she is back home in Mexico.
EB: Why do you feel this way here (Sunset Park)?
Maria: Because when I am there, everything has a Mexican name. On the
street, right next to each other you can anything. You can buy Pan Dulce
(Sweet Bread), meat, Mexican fruit that they dont have here, Nopales
(Cactus), and even Elotes!! (Mexican corn with mayonnaise, cheese, and
chile).
EB: And here in Atlanta is there a place?
Maria: Here in Atlanta its not the same as in New York where I used to
live. Everything is just...well... more spread apart. Yeah. Here it is harder
to feel like you have a real close community Its different.

With the obvious importance of food to parents lives in the United States, it is no
surprise that food and cooking plays a significant role in the upbringing of their children. As
described in the opening part of this paper, Angel and Nalley struggled to teach their children the
importance of eating Mexican food. They expressed their disappointment that the lunches served
to their children in school thwarted their desire to reinforce a Mexican diet for their children.
Maria explained to me that she always cooked authentic meals for her children growing up.
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Maria: It was real important for me that my kids knew what mole was. I would
always cook Mexican meals for them. Always rice and beans, pozole on the
weekends. Tasajo and chorizo from the Market. Not the stuff they sell in
supermarkets here. Disgusting! Hot chocolate was always made with Mexican
Chocolate. Everything authentic.
EB: Yes. And do you think your kids will carry this tradition on?
Maria: Well my sons who knowsthey are not into Mexican women (laughs)
but when my daughter was old enough I started to teach her the recipes so she
would know the recipes that I learned from my mother. I hope she will pass them
on to her children

Like Maria, Laura only cooks Mexican food in the household. While they go out to eat about
twice or three times a week, and may eat Chinese of Italian cuisines, food that is cooked in the
home is always Mexican. They tell their children that They are Mexican and must eat their food
picante (Spicy). Food is something that Laura will not budge on. For her food choices are
crucial in her childrens upbringing.
EB: What else do you buy from Tres Hermanos? Are there certain foods that you
believe are important for your children to eat?
Laura: yes, yeswell you know that I dont let my children eat ham (jamon) from
here (US). In Tres Hermanos they sell FUD
EB: Oh yeah, thats what I ate in Mexico!
Laura: oh yeah, well you know that FUD is very different from ham in
supermarkets here. It is made from turkey. Yes, all of their lunches are made with
FUD and Mexican cheese. It is made from turkey ham (jamon de Pavo) and is
much healthier than the ham that you all eat here.
EB: Is it important that your children eat Mexican food?
Laura: Oh yes. Very important. Sometimes they complain and say that they want
macaroni or McDonalds and I tell them no! You are Mexican and you must eat
like one!
EB: Oh yeah?
Laura: [laughs] Yes, and chili too! At first they didnt like eating spicy (picante).
But now they put more chili on their food. I tell them, that if you are Mexican you
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must eat spicy. I also make my children avena (Mexican oatmeal drink) with
cinnamon and appleso that it is not too sweet. And we always have rice with
beansalways. Something I cook my childrens rice with bananathis is also
something very different from here.
EB: How often do you cook and eat Mexican food each week?
Laura: This depends, more or less I cook three times a week. Always, Mexican
food in the house. We make our own tortillas too! I will have my husband make
some for you when he gets home
For Laura and Jose, food is so important that they will only feed their kids with sliced meat from
Mexico. The majority of other parents that I interviewed informally echoed Laura, Maria, and
Nalleys sentiments about the importance of insuring that their children eat like a Mexican.
Kathy, raised outside of Atlanta and the daughter of a Mexican migrant, discussed with me her
disappointment that her mother did not stress the importance of eating Mexican cuisine.
Kathy: Growing up my mother did not stress the importance of eating and
cooking Mexican things.
EB: Why do you think this was?
Kathy: In all honesty, I dont know why. My mom doesnt like to cook. Never has.
Also growing up in Newnan, GA- I dont know how many options she would have
had. Still she never tried. And I never learned about certain foods until I was
older and visited my cousins in California.
EB: What happened then?
Kathy: Wellwe went to go visit family in Californiamy aunts and uncles and
cousins. When we got there and were hanging out they were shocked that I didnt
know what the fruit they were selling on the street wasno one could believe that
I had never tried it before!
EB: what was it?
Kathy: ahhthere was a lot they taught me. Hum I think the first thing was
Lychee. My cousins and uncles could not believe that my mom never taught me
these things. I think they were embarrassed. From that point on they made it their
mission to teach me and let me try all these new things. Menudo, Mole, Mamey,
maracuya, pozole! A lot.

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EB: Do you wish your mom would have taught you these things?
Kathy: Ahwell...I guess. I dont know. My mom was always very busy. But I
learned from my other family members so it all worked out.

Kathy and her other family members found it hard to believe that her mother did not introduce
her to important Mexican food and ingredients. They found it their responsibility to teach her
these things whenever she visited. Later on in the interview, Kathy credits her other family
members with fostering within her a sense of Mexican identity. For Kathy and her nonimmediate family members, food knowledge and eating habits was crucial to feeling and being
Mexican. In addition to food choices, another important focus of child raising practices of
Mexicans in Atlanta is the emphasis on the importance of language.

Youre not Mexican if you dont speak Spanish

The importance of Language in Child Rearing

A very obvious and important part of child rearing in the transnational Mexican
community of Atlanta is insuring a childs acquisition of Mexican colloquial Spanish. For all of
the parents that I talked with, both formally and informally, language played a major role in the
first eight years of their childrens lives. On more than one occasion, I heard parents scold their
children for playing with other children or their siblings in English. An excerpt from my
interview with Jose and Laura highlights the upmost significance that they teach their children
the importance of speaking Spanish.
Jose: we teach our children to be proud of their heritage, to speak Spanish, so I
dont think this will be a problem. Here in the house they know and respect their
Mexican roots. But, they are still young
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Laura: Yes, we tell our children that they are not allowed to speak English in the
house.
Jose: Yes, in the house they are only allowed to speak pure Spanish. Sometimes
they are speaking only English with each other and I tell them that they HAVE to
speak Spanish here in the house.
Laura: Yes, because in the school they are already speaking only English. I dont
want them to lose their Spanish.
EB: Do you think that it is important for all of the Latinos here to guard this
culture? Is it a responsibility that all parents should take seriously?
Laura: I think so because sometimes there are children of Mexicans who do not
speak Spanish and it is shameful (es una verguenza). Because then they say that
they are Mexicanbut if you do not speak Spanish then you know nothing of
Mexico.
Jose: [speaking in English] they say yes I do speak a little and Im like youre
not Mexican!!
Laura: It is such a shame! (Es como la pena). YesI put the blame on the
parents.
EB: And do you have friends who think different then you on this topic?
Laura: In my job there is someone who says that her son does not speak Spanish
and he is the same age as her [points to daughter].
EB: and does she say why this is?
Laura: No, only...
Jose: They say that they are from here and that speaking Spanish is unnecessary
Laura: Yes, they say that they are from here. It something of pride (orgullo) for
them. And then they say that my son only speaks English and I ask how that is
so if you only speak Spanish!? And they say that I speak to him in Spanish and
he answers me in English
Jose: [in English] in my work there is also a person whose children are from here
and dont speak Spanish. [Spanish]And the parents dont speak English.
Laura: How do they do it? I dont get it. I think that maybe the kids understand
Spanish but just dont speak it back to their parents.
Jose: Yes, they understand Spanish but I think that the parents, we have to have a
very special role in this. In mandating that they have to speak in Spanish. Its our
responsibility. From birth - Spanish, Spanish, Spanish.
EB: Yes
Jose: So that they dont forget it. It is a gift that we have, us Latinos. Because
here we have two cultures. The Anglo culture and the Mexican culture. Me and
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my wife speak good English and my children speak good English but we are
teaching them how to speak Spanish. So they have an advantage with this because
they already speak two languages and they are only six years old.

For many parents like Jose and Laura, Spanish is an important marker of national pride. They
dont understand why and how some parents do not stress its importance. For Jose, someone
cannot say they are Mexican if they do not speak Spanish. For many, true Mexican identity is
contingent on speaking Mexican Spanish. Another one of my primary informants, Aracely,
joked with me one after noon at Plaza Fiesta that her children knew all of the Mexican slang
words, but would probably not pass a Spanish grammar test in their Atlanta school. Teaching her
children formal Spanish was not of importance to Aracely. They will fit right in on the streets
of Mexico, she tells me. What good is it to speak formal Spanish when you will not be able
to understand a word of what your family members in Mexico are saying?! No No, they (her
children) must know the correct Spanish. For Aracely, the type of Spanish that her children
learn was crucial. It had to be a form of Spanish that her kids could use to communicate with
people on the street in Mexico.
It became clear that many parents looked negatively on other parents and family
members who did not stress the importance of teaching their children Spanish. During one of our
formal interviews, Kathy discussed with me her dismay that her brother refused to speak in
Spanish to his 18 month old twins. Kathy and her sister-in-law could not understand why this
was. It baffled them. They told me that they constantly scolded him for speaking English to and
around the boys. Because of Kathys brothers apathy in regards to stressing the importance of
Spanish in the household, Kathy tells me that all other family members who interact with the
twins are overtly conscious of the need to only speak Spanish around and with the children. They
find it their responsibility to insure that the twins grow up and understand the importance of
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speaking in Spanish. For many transnational migrants here in Atlanta, a childs ability to speak
Spanish is one of the most important roles that parents have.

Somos Mas Pegados (We are more attached to each other):

The Centrality of Family in Childrens Upbringing

Nearly all of the families that I interviewed and spoke with in public had more than one
child that were very close in age to one another. At first, this did not stand out as a significant
point of interest in the ethnography. However, after spending an evening interviewing Jose and
Laura, it became apparent that I needed to return to re-examine the importance of family
structure to parents. Laura and Jose explicitly planned out their pregnancies as to have two
children as close in age as possible. Laura and Jose wanted their children to share the same
closeness that they did growing up in Mexico with their siblings.
Jose: Another thing in our culture... especially in my family, because we were
poor, since birth, we all slept in one room. So, this type of environment between
me and my siblings we were always together; very united. Always. I always felt
like I had the responsibility to care for my younger brother. And here
they.actually they share a bed.
EB: Oh yeah?
Jose: In reality we have enough space that each of them could have their own bed
but sharing a bed is making them more united- more together. This is something
that we are creating for them. It is something very simple that we are doing to
make sure that they are united like we were with our siblings.
Laura: Yes, it is a thing that we have as Mexicans. As brother and sisters, we all
love each other. Like, for example, we take care of each other. For example, my
brother had a white gringa girlfriend. And when she came here she got mad that I
washed his clothes or because I cleaned his room. She got mad. But this is what I
do because he is my brother. That is how we are, us Mexicans. I take care of my
brother and my brother does the same for me. Americans are not like this with
their siblings. I purposely got pregnant right after I had my daughter so that my
children would grow up together. This was very important for us.
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Jose: They grow up together, sharing their room, toys, bed- everything. We can
put them in separate rooms but there is no need to do so because they play
togethersometimes they fight, but this is only normal
Laura: Our little boy calls his sister Mami.
EB: Awe, how sweet. And when you are out in public and they are playing with
other children, do you notice them taking care of each other?
Jose: Yes, they always watch out for each other. The other day they were playing
football and my little guy was playing with another boy, and this boy didnt want
to share the ball with him and my daughter saw that and went over to make sure
the other boy would share with her brother.
Laura: When they get home from school and are getting off the bus, she always
grabs her brothers hand.
EB: Do you know if any other couples have their children share beds and rooms?
Laura: Yes Almost everyone does this. Right? That their children sleep
together.
Jose: Almost everyone, yeah. It is something very Latino.
Laura: Until they havewell if they are girls then they continue together but if
they are boy and girl I think that at around 10 or 12 they are separated.
Jose: mm hum. If I went out with my younger brother, I was in charge and
responsible for him. It is something that we learn from a very young age. If
something happens, my parents ask me what happened. Its my responsibility.
Laura: I have seen in the past other children here playing outside and the other
brother doesnt care at all about his younger siblings. One time the younger
sibling walked away and the older brother just kept playing. He didnt care.
While with my children, if my daughter doesnt see her brother she comes running
to me asking where he is. And if she is not around he asks for her as well

Laura and Jose are consciously trying to recreate the circumstances that they grew up with in
Mexico in order to instill a sense of closeness between their two children. Although they have
the space and means to give each of their children their separate bed and room, it is crucial to
Jose and Laura that they do not separate their children. Out of necessity, Jose and Laura had to
share beds and rooms with all of their siblings but they credit this with their continued closeness
with their brothers and sisters. They are intent on trying to recreate this very Mexican condition
for their children.
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This inter-sibling closeness is something that parents are determined to recreate for their
children in very different circumstances here in the United States. Other parents reiterated the
importance of fostering a sense of sibling closeness. In the opening part of this paper, Nalley and
Angel rely heavily on their oldest child to watch out for her younger siblings. She is responsible
for her siblings safety. Although their three children have their own bed, they do share one
single room and all of their toys and games. For Nalley and Angel, it is important that their
children see each other as best friends. If they have their brothers and sisters, there is no need
for anyone else, Jose explains to me. Although Zairas (Kathys sister in Law) twins are only 18
months old, she is adamant that they will share a room until they move out as adults. In addition
to sibling closeness, parents consistently stressed the importance of the family unit as a whole.
They raised their children to understand that their family comes first before everything else. For
Nalley and Angel, almost everything they do in their free time is strictly with family. Their
family members are their closest friends. This is a sentiment they hope to teach their children.
To respect their mother, father, and elders, and to always stay close to their brothersits all
they have in life; their family.

Conclusion: Coping With the Limitations of Being a Transnational Parent

Although many of the parents that I interviewed are proud of how they are raising their
children as culturally Mexican, they still recognize and struggle to accept the harsh limitations
of their parenting objectives. On the practical level, many parents described to me how they
struggle to give their children the support that they need in completing school assignments.
Laura and Jose discussed with me many of the difficulties that they faced helping their children
with their elementary school homework.
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EB: Yes. Speaking of the homework. We were saying how parents cannot help
their children with their homework or projects. Do you think that this impacts
children in school?
Laura: Of course. Because sometimes that homework is very difficult. Right? For
example, there are words that I dont know. And I read it and she (daughter) tells
me what it is. So together we get though the hard homework. But sometimes it is
difficult when mothers cannot read in English. So I think that they just dont do
the homework with their children.
Jose: It impacts the development of the children. Yesbecause there are people
[from Mexico] that dont even know how to read and dont know how to write.
People who live in the forest or mountains of Mexico, who do not know how to
read or write. This affects the development of their children. There are children
[American children] who enter kindergarten already knowing their A-B-C, and
the children of these parents [Mexican] know nothing! Other kids enter first
grade knowing to read and count until who knows how much and the children of
Latinos enter not even knowing English or the alphabet or numbers.
Language barriers create many struggles for parents within the school environment. Like Laura
and Jose explained, often times completing homework assignments was a learning process for
both child and parent. Jose and Laura worry about their ability to help their children succeed in
school at higher grade levels. Although they have both graduated high school in Mexico, they are
aware that many other transnational parents here in the U.S. have a very low level of education
or may even be illiterate. These realities put their children at huge disadvantages here in the
school system. Nalley and Angel explained to me one afternoon at Plaza fiesta how they would
rather let things pass then to confront the educators at their childrens school. They are
uncomfortable with their level of English and would rather not cause problems and draw
attention. Parents struggle to navigate the resources available to them at their childrens schools.
Jose and Laura believe that there may be an aid at their childrens school who speaks Spanish but
they have never met her or requested for her to translate for them at parent-teacher conferences.
EB: Are there teachers, who know Spanish, to help them understand better?

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Laura: It is pure English, no. The school we are at is only English. But I think
they have one person who you can ask to translate. But I have never seen this
person speak Spanish. I think that they call this person in when necessary.
Jose: Normally, I think that the schools where there is a large Latino presence,
there are more teachers who will speak Spanish. But our children go to a school
where there are not many Latinos. In their class there are only
Laura: Only one
Jose: yes, she is the only one (talking about daughter)
In addition to struggles in educational achievement, parents discussed with me how difficult it
was for them to have to go see a doctor or dentist who does not speak Spanish. They often times
had no idea what they were being told because of the difficult medical vocabulary used. They
often just relied on their young children to translate for them, but as Nalley reminded me, this is
often not useful because they are just children- how can we fully rely on them to correctly
translate?! Finally, living without legal documents here in the United States means that parents
run into many issues with transportation. While, many of the fathers choose to drive at their own
risk without proper identification, mothers who do not drive are forced to take taxis or mass
transit if they need to pick up a sick child at school or go to a doctors appointment. This makes
it hard for children to participate in many extracurricular activities that involve transportation.
The greatest difficulty that parents face here in the United States is the realization and
acceptance that they cannot fully raise their children in two distinctly different worlds. Aracely,
explains to me her disappointment that her oldest daughter does not want to have a quincinera.
Despite all of Aracelys attempts to change her daughters mind and convince her of the
importance of the Quincinera in Mexican tradition, her daughter only wants a Sweet 16 with all
of her American friends. As hard as parents try to insure that their children grow up participating
in Mexican cultural event, sometimes their children do not want to be different. Kathy
explained to me that she, as well, broke her parents hearts when she told them that she wanted a
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Sweet 16 with only her school friends. She did not want all of the family members there, as is
customary in the quincinera tradition.
The constraints placed on undocumented migrants in U.S. society makes it difficult for
many of these parents to do many of the activities they wish they could do with their children.
For instance, their instability in the work force here makes it difficult to ask for days off to
celebrate exclusively Mexican holidays. During our interview Laura became depressed with the
realization that her children do not get to celebrate her favorite holiday growing up in Mexico,
Dia de los Reyes. In Mexico, this holiday is celebrated on the 6th of December and marks the day
that the children in Mexico receive gifts. Laura and Jose explain to me that they really want to
celebrate many of the important Mexican holidays here in the U.S., but find it nearly impossible
to accomplish.
Laura: after Christmas they (Lauras children) have so many toys already. And
they both want their toys on the 25th. Here it is very easy for them to have a toy.
And in Mexico it is much harder to have these toys because the parents work but
they do not make a lot. So because of this, only over therefor me they only gave
me toys during this day. It is not like here. For example, we go to the mall or
Target. I want this, I want that and for me here it is easy to buy it for them
because it costs like 2, 3, 5 dollars. And in Mexico this is a lot. It is very different.
Jose: But here realize that the culture is difficult to preserve because on these
holidays maybe I am working, maybe she has off, maybe she is working and I
have off and maybe my cousin is working. Its difficult. In Mexico everyone has
off to be with their families. Its not like that here.
Laura: All of Mexico knows that it is a special day. It was very fun. [Sighs].
While Laura and her children go to church every year for the Dia de la Virgen de Guadalupe,
one of the most important religious holidays in all of Mexico, Laura admits to me during our
interview that her children know nothing about the history of Guadalupe. The history of
Guadalupe is learned and acted out from the youngest age in Mexico and is a significant marker

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of national pride and identity. When I ask if Laura teaches her children important historical facts
about Mexico she responds that they really dont teach their children these things.
Laura: I tell them that this is your country- Mexico. [Laughs]. I tell them that they
are going to go there. But things like the history, no, I dont tell them a lot. I dont
teach them a lotbut my husband is the one who knows more about these things.
But he basically never teaches them anything. But I think that now that they are
going to school we are going to have to be more conscious of teaching them these
things. Like the flag and map of Mexico. Its importantbecause, you dont know
if they are going to go back to Mexico, or to visit. And then they are going to need
to know things from there.

While interviewing Jose, he explains to me that he would really like to teach his children
Mexican history but worries that it may be difficult and confusing for the children to learn two
languages at once.
Jose: now that my daughter is getting older I am going to teach her who is the
person who led Mexico to independence in what city and what stateMiguel
Hidalgo. What was happening, who was in power and why there was the Mexican
Revolution. These are important, yes. Who was the president? But right now they
are too young. If I start teaching them this they are going to start to feel very lost
and confusedhaving to learn two different histories at once. However, it is
important for them to know who the first president of Mexico was. What we
celebrate on the 1st of November-which is the day of the dead. And the 16th of
September- our day of independence.

Other parents were saddened that their children would not be able to experience the same
small community closeness that they did growing up. Nalley and Angel discussed with me how,
as children, they were free to explore and run around the community with their friends and
cousins. They find themselves having to organize and be much more responsible for their
children than parents in Mexico.
Angel: Its a lot different here than in Mexico. Parents dont interact with their
kids a lot there [in Mexico]. When I was growing up, my parents never did
anything with methe children hang out with all the other children alone.
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EB: Why do you think this is so different here vs. in Mexico?

Angel: Here, in the US, parents are a lot more attached [pegado] to their kids.
Nalley : Like over there you get home from school, you eat, and then you are gone
to the house of a cousin or whoever to play the rest of the evening, running
around, wherever, in the neighborhood and the parents dont go with you- they
are in the house or working. Like here, we cannot leave our children downstairs,
outside to play alone.
Angel: Never.
Nalley: So, for this reason it has to be us to play with the kids.
Angel: In Mexico, you leave school at 2 in the afternoon and you dont go home
until like 8 or 9PM.
Nalley: You dont spend a lot of time with your parents
EB: And now why do you think it was safer in Mexico to let kids play alone?
Angel: I think that is was safer in a small town where everyone knows each other.
So, if you were the child of Maria, everyone else knows that. If you were in the
street everyone knew oh there goes the daughter of Maria. Everyone knows
who you are. Here this does not exist.
Nalley: With our neighbors here the most interactions we have is a hello.
Angel: You dont know if the person above is a terrorist or anything.
Nalley: In Mexico one of my sisters was four years old and got lost and everyone
looking for her in the street and house- we could not find her. And then she
arrived in a taxi. The taxi driver saw her on the street and said there goes the
daughter of Laura! and he picked her off the street and brought her to our
house. For reasons like that, it wasnt dangerous.
EB: Are you saddened that your children will never have these sorts of childhood
experiences?
Nalley: Sometimes yeah, I really am. Also, I would like them to spend a lot of time
with their grandparents and family like we did in Mexico. Here, they cannot do
this. They also cant play with nature (jugar con la tierra) this was a very fun and
important part of childhood. We would always play with rocks, plants, walking
around alone with some friends. She [talking about daughter] is not going to be
able to do this. Sometimes, yes, this saddens me

Nalley and Angel wish that they could send their children to Mexico to get to know life there;
they are unwilling to send them alone. Having been in the United States for over 15 years, Angel
has not seen his parents during this time, and missed the funeral of his grandmother who passed
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away five years ago. Going back to Mexico would mean risking not being able to return to the
U.S. In recent years, increased boarder militarization and an increase in drug violence in boarder
areas means that a return border crossing is much more dangerous and uncertain than 15 years
ago. The only hope that Nalley and Angel have to return to Mexico to visit their family with their
children lies in the uncertain promise of immigration reform and amnesty. Until then, Nalley and
Angel will remain with the longing, but inability, to reunite their family.
Perhaps the most difficult reality for parents to accept is that their childrens life in the
U.S. is incompatible with the life they left behind in Mexico. Although parents attempt to raise
their United States- born children as Mexican, they understand that their actions are very
limited. Their children are born, raised, and educated as U.S. citizens. Unlike their parents, the
children have access to all of the benefits of citizenry. Parents are aware that the opportunities
and nature of their childrens lives are much better off than they would be in Mexico. Towards
the end of my interview with Jose and Laura, they worry about what would happen if they did
have to return to Mexico. The nature of their undocumented lives in this country means that one
day they could be living comfortably here in the U.S. and the next they could find themselves
forced back to Mexico. If something like this happened, Jose and Laura have spent long hours
contemplating whether or not they would leave their children with family members here in the
United States until they were successful in returning to the U.S. again. However, they admit that
this indefinite separation would be to devastating for them to handle. They would have to bring
their two children with them, despite the difficulties their children would have adjusting to a
completely new way of life.
EB: Do you think that there is going to be a disconnect between your kids and
their family over there?

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Jose: I think that yeahthe first, second and third days they are going to feel like
they are in a different world. They are accustomed to being here with all of the
luxuries. They are used to leaving the house, going to the park, to the mall. It is
close and easy. There, in Mexico, thereespecially where I am from, you leave
the house and nothing. Mountains, trees, land- thats it. Open space. You can run
from here to there and back with nothing in the way. Pure Land. Here it is not like
that. Concrete and more concrete. Here they have their flat screen, internet, video
games.
Laura: Also, things like water
Jose: Yes, in Mexico, where we are from, there is portable water but sometimes
the water doesnt arrive. It gets finished. So you have to buy an extra pipe of
water and put it in the big tanks that you build in your house. Here, there is
always water. There no. When I was over there and the water ran out I had to buy
water from the man who sold it and would have to carry it on my back from there
all the way up a long distance away to my house. Here they only have to turn the
faucet and they have water! There are so many things that they dont know about
where they come from.
EB: ah huh
Jose: It is funny that here my kids wont even drink water from the sink. Only
bottled water. Imagine them there [In Mexico] when they are lucky to even have
water! They are not going to feel comfortable there at first.
Laura: And when we go to BufordThere we have family and their children dont
wear shoes and they walk around in only their boxers
EB: In Buford?
Laura: Yes, in Buford, GA... They run around getting wet and playing in the dirt.
And then my children, no! They dont even want them to touch them. [Laughs]
right babe?
Jose: Yes, no
Laura: They dont want their clothes to get wet and the other children do. So, that
is what is will be like in Mexico. The other children are going to want to play with
dirt and in trees and my kids are not going to want to.
Jose: In the beginning, its going to be hard, yes. Who knows if they will ever
settle in to the way of life there This is just something that as parents we are
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going to have to accept Our familys future is in Gods handswe can only
hope that he will watch over us.

It is clear that parents plan the best they can to give insure that their children have a childhood
full of resources, opportunities and happiness. However, their unstable nature as undocumented
migrants could mean that in one instant their lives, along with their childrens, could take a
dramatic turn. Leaving both children and parents scrambling to adjust to a new way of life in
very different circumstances.

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