We move on to the battle of Mu'tah - this is the final major incident before the

grand finale of the conquest of Mecca. Now the battle of Mu'tah has a naming pr
oblem: that is what do we call it? Gazwa tul Mu'tah or sareeah tul Mu'tah? The m
ajority of scholars call it a gazwa but linguistically this is a problem. Why? A
gazwa is a expidition wherein the prophet PBUH participated, but Mu'tah was not
one which the prophet PBUH participated. Yet the majority of scholars call it a
gazwa, simply because the quanitity of people who participated was far more tha
n the quanitity of any other sareeah, and in fact it was more than any gazawaat.
3000 sahaba participated in Mu'tah. Because we had the largest quantity up unti
l this time, and also because the enemy is not just any enemy, it is the Romans.
There is no battle the muslims fought against the Romans in the lifetime of the
prophet PBUH except the battle of Mu'tah. The only time the muslim faced a nonArab enemy during the prophet PBUH was alive was this time. So it's a hugely sig
nificant battle, and therefore early scholars called it a gazwa. However later s
cholars for consistency refer to it as a sareeah. Note the sahaba called it 'jay
shal umara' - 'the army of leaders'. Why? In no other battle did the prophet PBU
H appoint more leaders than in Mu'tah. One after the other the prophet PBUH appo
inted three leaders. So we call it 'jayshal umara' or sareeah tul Mu'tah, not ga
zwa.
What is Mu'tah? It's the name of a small village and the land around it in an ar
ea that used to be in the Roman province. It's currently in Jordan. It occurs be
tween the two famous cities Amaan and Kark in Jordan. Literally in the middle modern scholars call it 'al mazaar' meaning 'village' because the three sahaba w
ho died being leaders are buried there. Why did Mu'tah take place? Frankly the a
nswer to this question is not easy. We don't seem to have precise details as to
the reasons. Scholars have tried to peice together the reasons:
1. The earliest reason is given by al Waaqidi who says the reason why Mu'tah too
k place was revenge for the killing of Al Harith ibn Umayr, the messenger of the
prophet PBUH. He had been sent to deliver a message to the Romans; and he passe
d by the Gasaanid tribe (the largest christian tribes). Because they were chrisi
tan they felt more affinity to the Romans, and the gasaanids were the Arab vasal
s to the Romans. If the Romans needed anything in the Roman lands they would tel
l the gasaanids. So what happened to Al Harith? He was captured by the gasaanids
; they took him to their chiefton, Shar'ah Beil ibn Amr. And he asked Al Harith
"who are you?" Al Hairth said "I am an envoy, here is my letter, you must let me
go". And Shar'ah Beil mocked him, totured him and with his own hands killed him
. To this day envoys and messengers are NOT touched, they are never killed. And
the fact that Shar'ah Beil did this, he crossed a red line. Worse than this is t
he fact that the cheifton does it himself. This is a full mockery of the prophet
PBUH and Islam. He himself took the spear and thrusted it into Al Harith after
he was brutally totured. You cannot get more vulgar than what he did. His perspe
ctive is "what are you going to do to me?" He was far up north, he was a cheifto
n and he thought he was untouchable. This is the height of insult and arrogance
- it has to be responded to. Therefore as soon as peace was established in the h
ijaaz region, after Hudaybiyya and Khaybar, the prophet PBUH turned his attentio
n to the gasaanids.
2. The second reason which dosen't seem to have much evidence is that the govern
er of Bosra, a small region outside Damascus. To this day you still find the mar
ketplace that over hundreds of years old. It was the centre of market and tradin
g. The far easterners would come, the roman, the greeks, arabs etc would all com
e and congregate in Bosra. It's said the governer of Bosra had threatened the mu
slims after the letter reached Heraclius through him.
3. Ibn Kathir mentions another reason/wisdom - it seems moreso to be an effect o
f the battle. He mentions this battle was preperation for the later battles agai
nst the Romans. The prophet PBUH wanted to send a message to the world and espec
ially to the sahaba, that Islam is a global message and it must spread outside t

he Arabian Peninsula. So Mu'tah is a prelude, followed by Tabuk in which he did

participate. Tabuk was also meant against the Romans. Now note Mu'tah wasn't dir
ectly against the Romans - it was against the gasaanids. But the point is if you
are messing with the gasaanids, you are messing with their allies i.e. the Roma
ns. Even though the prophet PBUH did not anticipate the Romans fighting, he know
s what he's getting into. And Tabuk was clear cut for the Romans but they didn't
show up. So the point is, it's as if the prophet PBUH is telling the sahaba "wh
en you finish up with the Arabian Peninsula you need to go beyond" and the numbe
r one target is Syria. And this is why the very first land conquered after the d
eath of the prophet PBUH was Syria. So Mu'tah is like the first domino, then Tab
uk etc. So ibn Kathir says the wisdom of Mu'tah is the psychological foundation
to take over the Romans.
4. Another wisdom was
he Romans first hand.
s experiance he gains
Waleed who leads the

that Khalid ibn Waleed manages to witness the tactics of t

He participates and saves himself and the muslims. And thi
was invaluable for the future, and indeed it is Khalid ibn
muslims to conquer all the lands.

The point is Mu'tah wasn't something immediate in defence of an enemy attack. It

was for revenge for Al Harith, or he wanted to set the ground for future conque
sts, or he wanted to do both. In Jamaadal Awwal, 8th year of the Hijrah, the pro
phet PBUH made an announcement that he wanted the muslims to go to the gasaanids
. And there was no ambiguity. It would take them at least a month of travelling.
So he told where they are going, and encouraged them to volunteer. And around 3
000 sahaba signed up. Notice how quickly the numbers are changing. 6 years ago i
n Badr, the numbers was 1/10th. In 6 years, the numbers have increased 10-fold.
In fact in Hudaybiyya we only have 1400. Within one year it doubles. And this is
only the volunteers, in Madinah there are hundreds more. Thus Madinah and the m
uslim empire is becoming larger and larger. So 3000 signed up and they felt on a
friday in Jamadal al Awwal in 8H. We know it's friday as ibn Abbass narrates "I
said to myself, 'should I leave with them or pray with the prophet PBUH Juma'a
first?'" So the army is leaving in the morning, so he's debating shall I pray Ju
ma'a and catch up to them or leave with them in the morning. Ibn Abbass decided
to wait, so he prayed Juma'a and the prophet PBUH finished and asked ibn Abbass
"why are you here why haven't you left?" Ibn Abbass said "I wanted to pray with
you and then catch up with them". So the prophet PBUH said "If you were to give
sadaqah of all of the money of this world, you will never get the reward of that
having left early with them". Meaning he gave up the bigger reward of leaving e
arly for a smaller reward of Juma'a. The bigger reward is to be in the gazwa wit
h the people.
And the prophet PBUH appointed three commanders one after the other. This was th
e only time he did this in his entire life. This indicates the prophet PBUH unde
rstood the severity of the battle. He understood it's not easy and something bad
might happen. He appointed first Zaid ibn Harithah as its leader, and he said "
If Zaid is killed then Ja'far will be in charge, if Ja'far is killed then Abdull
ah ibn Rawahah shall be in charge". This is in Bhukari, in one version in al Bay
haqee "if Abdullah ibn Rawahah is killed, let the muslims choose somebody else".
So he gave this command aswell. And this shows us the status of these three sah
abi. All three was incredibly near and dear to the prophet PBUH. Especially Zaid
ibn Harithah, that sahabi who has the honour of being the only sahabi whose nam
e is in the Quran. That sahabi that Aisha RA herself said "never did the prophet
PBUH send Zaid on an expidition, except that Zaid was in charge". He was never
number two in any battle. And then "if Zaid had been alive when the prophet PBUH
had died, no one would have been chosen above him". SubhanAllah. Who is Aisha?
The daughter of Abu Bukr! And she herself is saying "If Zaid was alive, no-one w
ould have been chosen above him". Even Ja'far RA felt hurt "I am your cousin and
you choose Zaid?" And the prophet PBUH sensed this, so the prophet PBUH encoura
ged him and said "you do not know, perhaps this is better for you". So Zaid and
Ja'far and Abdullah ibn Rawahah, and the prophet PBUH gave them a while flag. He

accompanied the army all the way to the standard place where every group would
bid farewell to their travellers. It's called the 'hill of farewell', also known
as 'thaneeya tul wada'a'. Every single traveller that went out of Madinah would
be accompanied with their family to this place. So it was the prophet PBUHs sun
nah to accompany his army to this hill. And note the famous poem of thaneeya tul
wada'a was said at the return from Tabuk.
So the prophet PBUH sends the army forward, gives them the banner and gives them
advice not to turn back and be firm. Abdullah ibn Rawahah was seen crying, and
someone asked him "why are you crying?" He said "I am not crying out of a love f
or this world, nor am I crying because I have an inclination for it, I am crying
thinking of the verse in the Quran 'every one of you shall pass over it (Jahana
m)'". So he began crying out of fear of crossing over the siraat (bridge) of Jah
anam. And he said "what will I do in that crossing?" So we find the sahaba were
emotional and one of them cries out "may Allah accompany you and allow you to re
turn safely and soundly". And ibn Rawahah versified in a beautiful poetry "as fo
r me, I ask for Allahs forgiveness, and a blow that is mighty that causes my blo
od to gush out, so when people pass by my grave, they shall say 'Allah guided hi
m to be a warrior, and how rightly guided he was'". And ibn Ishaaq mentions a fa
mous story on the journey. Zaid ibn Arkam was an orphan who Abdullah ibn Rawahah
took care off, and so Zaid grew up in his house. So Zaid ibn Arkam is riding on
the camel of ibn Rawahah and he's around 15/16 - in the middle of the night, ib
n Rawahah gives poetry that "let me die oh Allah and be a shaheed". And the poet
ry is so moving Zaid ibn Arkam bursts into tears. So Abdullah ibn Rawahah joking
ly hits Zaid ibn Arkam and says "Oh fool" in a friendly way, "what would it matt
er you if I am a shaheed and Allah blesses me, and you get the camel alone on th
e way back?" SubhanAllah, and this is exactly what happened.
Who is Abdullah ibn Rawahah? Firstly he is an ansari. He participated in the tre
aty of Akabah - the ansaris chosen at Akabah was amongst the elite of the Ansar
so he is amongst those. And he was the one whom the prophet PBUH sent back from
Badr to give the good news that Badr was a success. When the munafiqoon saw Abul
lah ibn Rawahah on the camel of the prophet PBUH running into Madinah, overjoyed
that "Abu Jahal has died, so and so has died etc". The munafiq said "rather the
prophet has died and ibn Rawahah has gone crazy". Ibn Rawahah was another famed
poet along with Hasan ibn Thabit, but he died an early death so Hasan is more k
nown to us. Even though in his lifetime ibn Rawahah was more famous, and he was
of a different level in terms of piety. There are many things mentioned about ib
n Rawahah. The prophet PBUH said "what a great man Abdullah ibn Rawahah is". Als
o, he was the one who once the prophet PBUH was giving a khutbah, and a delegati
on came to the prophet PBUH so the prophet PBUH said "sit down". Ibn Rawahah was
just entering the masjid, and he heard the prophet PBUH say "sit down" so at th
e door of the masjid he literally sat down then and there. And the prophet PBUH
smiled and made dua for him. And in Umrah al Qadah, he was the one signing lines
of poetry about the prophet PBUH against the Quraysh. And Umar RA was more stri
ct, he said "oh ibn Rawahah how dare you sing poetry in front of the prophet PBU
H, while in ihraam while in Mecca?!" And the prophet PBUH said "let him be for v
erily his words are more painful to the Quraysh than arrows coming from the heav
ens". And of course poetry was a weapon back then. And this is Abdullah ibn Rawa
hah, he has a huge stellar legacy - and even in this battle, he has eloquent poe
try recorded to this day.
Nonetheless, they are on their way to Jordan and march to the lands of Ma'an, bu
t it appears the gasaanids panicked. They heard the muslims are coming, and they
sent out emissaries to every one of their allies including the Romans. So they
sent out emissaries to every other christian Arab tribe, such as Lukham, or Juda
am etc. And they also sent an emissary to the Romans. One or two early seerah bo
oks make a mistake: that Heraclius himself responded and came down to fight. Thi
s is a clear error because Heraclius himself never fought the muslims. And even
later on when the conquest of Jerusalem took place, he never participated direct

ly against the muslims. How could he when he knew this is a true messenger of Al
lah. His generals, armies etc all faced the muslims, but he himself never fought
. So anyway, arab christian tribes all gathered together, and the Romans sent a
small contingent aswell. And all these tribes gather before the muslims enter Mu
'tah; they are still a few days away so the gasaanids take precaution and thousa
nds gather to fight the muslims. How many? The standard number mentioned is 100,
000. Other books mention 150,000 - the fact is we need to be more critical. The
Arab tribes in totality do not number 100,000. It's impossible for the army to b
e 100,000. It's human nature to read in larger numbers and this is a well known
phenomenon. And also the Romans never even sent 100,000 against the Persians, wh
y would they send that many against the muslims who were nothing to them. They w
eren't viewed as an international threat. One modern scholar estimates maximum 1
0,000 people fought against the muslims. Most likely 1000 from the Romans and th
e rest made up of Arab christian tribes. Now that the Romans are involved howeve
r, we have records from the Romans side about this battle. Indeed the Romans are
a true civilisation so we actually have this battle mentioned in the Roman book
s (next week). So in summary at max there were 10,000 - point is no doubt the mu
slims were outnumbered far more than they expected.
So when the news reached the muslim camp, they began to wonder "what should we d
o?" And they in fact camped for two days "what should we do?" Back and forth dis
cussion that the plan was to just fight the gasaanids who numbered max 5000. But
now they have double the quantity, and on top of this the Romans are involved.
Why are they so worried? Because the Romans are a totally different fighting bre
ad. Superior armory, better trained, better horses, better weapons. They are a d
ifferent class of fighters. And the sahaba know this. So one group said "let us
camp here and send a messenger back to the prophet PBUH and get his command: eit
her he'll send more people, or tell us to retreat, or tell us to go and we'll do
whatever he wants". Note they are already in Jordan. For them to send a messeng
er all the way down and then all the way back up, this will take at least two we
eks. Another group said "let us return we didn't come for this because we have c
ome to this land, shown our force, stepped in their territory, frighten them so
mission accomplished". And Zaid ibn Harithah asked Abdullah ibn Rawahah "what is
your opinion?" This shows us at times of difficulty you must turn to the senior
members with wisdom, not the novices. And ibn Rawahah stood up and gave a movin
g speech. And there's no doubt Zaid knows what he will say. Zaid wants to convin
ce the rest of the sahaba, but ibn Rawahah has a better tongue than him. And thr
oughout the journey ibn Rawahah has said "I'm going to die shaheed khalas that's
it". So he stands up, the most eloquent of the group, and says "Oh my people, w
hat you're scared off is exactly what you're after. So you are scared of your go
al because of your goal." SubhanAllah - he is saying "you are scared of dying bu
t isn't that why we are here? To die shaheed? Isn't that the ultimate goal?" And
he says "what is the matter with us? Allah will bless us with one of two things
: victory or shahada. And we know Allah dosen't help us with quantity or weapons
, rather through our Islam that He has blessed us with. Rather let us go forth a
nd face one of the two inevitable realities".
So after this everyone decided to go forth and face the Romans and the Arab chri
stians. They continued moving onwards and they passed by a village who knew what
was happening, and this village showered the back of the muslim army with arrow
s, and it so happened a number of sahaba were injured and one of the died. So th
ey went forward and told Zaid "let us go back and fight the village". And for su
re they could have defeated the village. But Zaid said "no - for the enemy is in
front of us, and I don't want to be sidetracked that will wound, tire out and s
eperate us from the big enemy". So he refused and moved onwards north. And event
ually it was the muslims who decided on the land, and it was Mu'tah. We have to
guess why this land was chosen. Again because the prophet PBUH himself is not in
volved in this battle we have considerably less hadiths and narrations regarding
it. The whole battle is just recorded in a page or two of narrations. They most
likely chose Mu'tah for logistical reasons. Definately they chose Mu'tah for ea

se of access of water since there was a river near Mu'tah. Also, probably there
was a line of retreat that they could depend on and take advantage off if needed
. And indeed this is exactly what happened with Khalid ibn Waleed. Was this a re
ason Zaid chose Mu'tah? We don't know, but ultimately the land did have such a r
etreating path. So the muslims chose the area.
As always they divided themselves into three groups. Middle, right and left. Abu
Hurrairah was apart of the battle, and it's his first battle. And even though h
e's a narrator of hadith, he also fought in battles. So his eyes opened up wide
when he saw the army in front. And one of the sahaba said "what is the matter wi
th you oh Abu Hurrairah? Are you shocked at how large the army is?" So he said "
yes". The sahabi said "but you were not with us at Badr. And let me tell you we
did not win because of the size of the army". SubhanAllah. Look at their imaan a
nd their confidence they will win. They are not walking into a suicide. They are
n't thinking "because we're 3000 and they are 10,000 we will lose". No - they be
lieve they will win. And this is the attitude of a muslim. He dosen't walk into
a suicide attack. Walahi the seerah does not demostrate this at all. Here is Mu'
tah which is one of the most difficult battles, yet the view of the sahaba is "w
e will win". And note wanting shahada is not the same as suicide. Ibn Rawahah wa
nts shahada, but he fights a vicious battle. There are two different things. And
the sahabi is saying again "they were 3x our size at Badr, they are 3x our size
now so we'll win".
So Zaid gave the command to charge, and he was holding the flag because the prop
het PBUH gave him the flag personally. It's a matter of honour, so Zaid took the
flag and he was attacked from every side until he was surrounded by the enemy.
And he met his death surrounded by a whole flank of non muslims. When he was kil
led, Ja'far took the flag, and he fought one of the most vicious fights ever rec
orded. The bravery of Ja'far at Mu'tah is almost unparalleled with any sahabi in
any battle. He charged in with his horse, fought valiently until someone cut hi
s horses legs off. So the horse fell and he rolled forward. Then he stood up and
he is surrounded by non muslims. And while holding onto the flag, he is single
handedly fighting the people around him. There are people stabbing and putting i
n every wound but he is fighting back. Until finally out of nowhere someone supr
ises him and cuts off his entire right hand which had the flag in it. Before the
flag can hit the floor, the left hand comes in, swoops down and catches it. Now
he is just standing there with one hand in the flag. As a matter of pride, the
other groups chops off his left hand. This time the flag does fall to the ground
, but he bends down, takes the two stumps and puts it on his chest to raise the
flag again unil finally a Roman soilder literally cuts him in half from behind.
Ibn Umar said "I participated in Mu'tah, and after we hunted for the body of Ja
'far. And we counted over 90 stabs and wounds and cuts across his entire body. 5
0 in the front and 40 at the back". This means literally ibn Umar is counting th
e wounds of Ja'fars body. And why? To show the bravery and honour of Ja'far. And
both of his hands were cut off, and it's recorded in Bhukari that whenevre ibn
Umar passed by the children of Ja'far he would say "asalaam u alaikum oh sons of
the ones with two wings". And there are many hadith put together become hasan,
that the prophet PBUH said "I saw Ja'far in Jannah, and Allah has given him two
wings instead of his hands. And he's flying around anywhere he wants". Thus Ja'f
ar ibn Abi Talib is the one with two wings.
When Ja'far dies, ibn Rawahah takes the flags. And before he plunges in he hesit
ates and paused. And subhanAllah on the battlefield with the pressure he versifi
es poetry. And note he's been waiting for death this whole journey, yet when he
sees it he pauses. So he says "I swear oh my soul you shall proceed or I will fo
rce you to proceed". Meaning his soul is battling with him. And he's telling his
soul "the people have gathered, the clamour has risen. What is the matter with
you that you don't want Jannah? Surely what you've desired has alluded you for t
oo long. What are you? Except a drop of despised fluid put in a bag". He's telli
ng his soul "what's the matter why are you scared? Jannah is around the corner!"

And he then jumped into the ranks and died a shaheed. And this shows us somethi
ng so human and beautiful. This is what makes the sahaba the sahaba. When the sh
ahada is right in front of him, he hesitates. What is bravery? It's to conquer y
our fear. It's not to not feel fear. Walahi to us this is not fear, this is ulti
mate bravery. It shows us the humanity, that ibn Rawahah is so close to death bu
t he hesitates, until finally his imaan overcomes and he dies a shaheed.
Thabit ibn Arkam, when the flag falls, he jumps in, gets the flag and takes refu
ge in a small area. Note it's allowed to turn your back if you want to regroup a
s Allah says in Anfal. So he turns his back because he wants to get the flag to
safety. So the battle is taking place, but he shouts out "Oh muslims come quickl
y". He's not Zaid, Ja'far or ibn Rawahah so it's clear they are all dead. And wh
en a group come around him, he says "quickly choose a leader amongst you". And s
omeone says "YOU be the leader". And he says "no way not me". So they look aroun
d and their eyes settle on the one who is the newest of them to Islam, barely a
month or two has gone by, and he's someone whose caused them the most damage in
Badr, Uhud, Hudaybiyya, Khaybar - so many have lose their lives because of him,
but Islam forgives everything, so all eyes turn to Khalid ibn Waleed. And he say
s "how can I? I am who I am". We think of Khalid as the sword of Allah, but at T
HIS stage his is the newest muslim, fresh into Islam, he has a history of killin
g muslims, and his father Al Waleed has countless verses in the Quran against hi
m. But they insist and Khalid takes the flag. We will discuss this next week.
Now, as all this is enfolding in Mu'tah, the prophet PBUH is vividly describing
every single detail of the battle simultaneously. Full on live updates. All the
sahaba have gathered, and he is telling them in graphic detail exactly what is h
appening. And this hadith is in Bhukari and Muslim so it's fully authentic. That
Anas ibn Malik says "the prophet PBUH told us about the deaths of Zaid, Ja'far
and ibn Rawahah before the news reached us". Meaning before the messengers came
from the battle. And he said "the prophet PBUH told us 'Zaid took the flag and h
e was killed. Ja'far took it and he was killed. And ibn Rawahaha took it, and he
was killed'. And his eyes were crying until he said 'a sword from the swords of
Allah took it and Allah gave him victory'". Aisha RA narrates "when the news of
the death of Zaid, Ja'far and ibn Rawahah came, the prophet PBUH sat down and g
rief was clearly visible from him". SubhanAllah he's so emotionally hurt he has
to physically sit down. Can you imagine the stress and pain? Zaid ibn Harithah,
the one who when his own father and uncle came to free him, Zaid is shocked and
said "what did you tell them?!" And the prophet PBUH said "I left the matter to
you". And Zaid tells his father "in that case I will never choose anyone over th
is man". And his father said "oh my son you'll remain a slave with a stranger ra
ther than be a free man?" And Zaid says "oh my father the love this man has show
n me, no one else can show me". And when he said this, that was when the prophet
PBUH took Zaid as Zaid ibn Muhammad, and he is the only sahaba mentioned in the
Quran by name. Abu Bukr is mentioned only by a pronoun. So Zaid has just died.
Someone who the prophet PBUH raised up for 30 years in his own household. Then J
a'far - the prophet PBUH stood up and kissed Ja'far when he came back. The proph
et PBUH said "I don't why I am happy - the conquest of Khaybar (worth millions)
or seeing Ja'far". And he was raised with Ja'far as a child, but he has just bee
n killed. And Abdullah ibn Rawahah has also just died.
And Aisha is seeing all this and says "I was looking at him from the corner of m
y house, and a man came to him and said 'the women of Ja'far are crying'. So the
prophet PBUH told him 'go back and tell them to stop'. So he went, but came bac
k and said 'I told them but they didn't listen'. So the prophet PBUH again comma
nded the same. But again he returned and said 'the women have overpowered us'. A
nd so the prophet PBUH said 'then go throw dust into their mouths'." Then the me
ssenger goes back but Aisha gets so irritated she says "rather may Allah throw d
ust on your nose, for neither have you done this nor have you relieved the suffe
ring of the prophet PBUH". The point here is the prophet PBUH is so grieved and
in pain, he literally sits down and is crying. He is in shock and news spread so

the wives of Ja'far begin mourning i.e. crying out loud and wailing. And wailin
g is "how will we live?" etc. But this is haraam and a major sin. The women know
this, but they have not been tested yet. So for the first time a man dies and t
he woman revert to their practices and begin wailing. So a man comes, who we don
't know, and he says 'the woman are crying what do I do'? And notice Aisha dosen
't narrate the women are 'wailing' but they most definately were. Rather Aisha t
ones it down so as not to embarras the women. So the prophet PBUH tells them to
stop, but for three times back and forth they didn't stop. What can the prophet
PBUH do? So the third time the prophet PBUH got irritated. And this hadith is so
beautiful because it shows us the humanity of the sahaba. Its haraam to wail an
d he tells them three times 'stop wailing'. But they didn't stop. Now what can y
ou do? The man is saying 'the women has overcome us'. So the prophet PBUH is say
ing "what can I do?! They aren't doing it, you're not stopping them, what can I
do? Go throw dust in their mouths". The prophet PBUH is fustrated and in pain, y
et this man is coming with such a concern. It's not wise. It's not something you
need to come three times for. This is what she says "neither are you able to co
ntrol your women, nor are you sparing the prophet PBUH from pain and suffering".
So she lashes out. And walahi the whole incident - you are crying for all parti
es. All of them have their own tragedy taking place. Overall the point is the ba
ttle of Mu'tah caused immense grief for the prophet PBUH. He lost the most belov
ed to him, Zaid. Ibn Abbass says "I never knew Zaid ibn Muhammad was Zaid ibn Ha
rithah until Allah revealed the verse about him". For all sense and purposes, he
was a real son of the prophet PBUH. And now he's died. Ja'far has died. Ibn Raw
ahah has died.