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Pilcrow and Dagger Sunday News 3-22-2015
Pilcrow and Dagger Sunday News 3-22-2015
Pilcrow and Dagger Sunday News 3-22-2015
Weather
Index
More News..............Page 2
Dear Monica...........Page 2
Editorial..................Page 2
Letters To Editor................
........Page 2
Rant & Raves..........Page 2
Horoscope...............Page 3
Puzzles....................Page 3
Classifieds...............Page 3
In
todays
entertainment
news,
Hollywood is buzzing
about President Obama and
his retirement plans after
he leaves office. Some
people say he and his clan
will move to New Zealand
and purchase a ranch. Top
New Zealand government
officials have gone on
record saying that rumor is
not true.
Wed never let him
in, an anonymous source
reported.
Other sources, such as
various
Washington
bureaucrats, have hinted
that the president may
change his career from
politician to manager. Yes,
thats right. After this
weeks performance on
Liz Schulte
Author of
The Guardian Series
The Easy Bake Coven Series
The Jinn Triology
Dear Monica
Dear Monica,
My wife has a purse
fetish. Every time she gets
a new pair of shoes, or an
outfit, or just goes to the
store, she purchases a new
purse. Just how many
handbags does a woman
need? Then she needs a
matching wallet (with
money in it), a set of keys
for each purse, and all the
other stuff that goes into a
purse. Its making me
crazy.
- Bag Ladys Husband
Dear Husband,
So what?
Dear Monica,
How do I tell my
husband that I feel like he
could be more appreciative
of the work I do at home
cooking, cleaning, laundry,
shopping, etc. It seems like
there is never a thank
you at the end of the day.
- Scullery Maid
Dear Maid,
Use words.
Editorial
Letter to Editor
By Sham Farce
To my wonderful husband,
Thank you for past four
years, the children, the
house and all the sleep
deprivation. I love you so
much. Now, please go and
fix your own dinner. Im
on a break.
Dear Supermarket Cashier,
Thank
you
for
instructing the bag boy on
how to load the bags. Im
so tired of having my jar of
spaghetti sauce put on top
of my bread. A very nice
change.
Horoscope
Classifieds
For Sale
Hood from Mini
Cooper.
Respond to this
ad
in
the
personals. Use
the words Hot
Wheels.
Baby starter kit.
Everything you
need for an
infant. You must
provide
the
baby.
Genuine Norman
Rockwell
collectors plates.
Eight
5-piece
place
settings.
Never used. $10
Wanted
An adventure of
epic proportions.
I want to dream
about it for the
rest of my life
and relive it in
my elder years.
A beautiful lawn
and
fantastic
flower gardens
without having
to weed, prune,
mow, or work.
Room to rent.
Need 1 bedroom
and private bath.
Quiet. Will use
just for naps and
writing.
Kitchen sink. I
have everything
else.
Looking
for
something
deep.
Notices
Pilcrow
&
Dagger is not
responsible for
the opinions or
comments made
by its detractors
or fans.
Pilcrow
&
Dagger is not
responsible for
the content in
the
Sunday
Newspaper.
Help Wanted
Mad
scientist
specializing in
cloning. Willing
to pay top dollar
for clones.
That about sums
it up. Willing to
hire anyone who
can do anything
remotely
helpful.
Pilcrow
March 21
- April 19
Exclamation
Point
April 20 May 20
May 21 June 20
Interrobang
Question
Mark
Therefore
Sign
Ampersand
Irony
Mark
Section
Sign
Octothorpe
&
&
&
@ *
&
& @ *
& @
&
@ *
@ &
@ #
&
Authority
Point
Because
Sign
Sudoku
&
Dagger
June 21 July 22
July 23 Aug 22
Aug 23 Sept 22
Sept 23 Oct 22
Oct 23 Nov 21
Nov 22 Dec 21
Dec 22 Jan 19
Jan 20 Feb 18
Feb 19 March 20