Russell Aivazian ePortfolio Narrative Reflection

When I accepted my offer for admission to the Higher Education program and my
Assistant Resident Director (ARD) position in Residence Life on March 8, 2013, I dont think I
could have imagined the incredible journey that was about to occur. At the time, I was a
Resident Assistant (RA) for three years, a Barista for six years at Starbucks, and wondering how
I could use my business degree in the Higher Education setting. After arriving on campus,
meeting the students, and networking with the professionals, I knew that continuing my
education at Loyola was exactly where I needed to be. Many of my mentors questioned my
motives moving from one Jesuit university to another, however, I knew that I needed to be
grounded in the Jesuit mission of Loyola in order to learn and develop as a professional. I
vividly remember having a conversation with a former supervisor who told me to accept my
offer to Indiana Universitys program because I needed a new experience. It definitely would
have been something different, but I was sure that Loyolas program had everything that I
needed. Through my coursework and assistantship I have learned so much about myself, the
field of higher education, and social justice that I will continue to use as I pursue my career
aspirations.
Course Content
Challenge is the common theme that I found throughout my Loyola experience. In the
classroom and through countless papers and projects, I was encouraged to challenge myself to be
a critical consumer of information, academic literature, and my own identities. During my first
semester of classes at Loyola, I realized that my business background definitely did not prepare
me for the amount of reading and writing I encountered in my classes. Additionally, I realized
that I have never used a critical lens to better understand who I am as a person and how I can use
my spheres of influence to create change.

Russell Aivazian ePortfolio Narrative Reflection

This challenge was first presented in my Multiculturalism for Social Justice in Higher
Education course during the first semester. I remember being in class on the first day and
secretly being terrified with the idea of not only being in a dialogue, but having to facilitate one
as well. I asked myself: what are people going to find out about me and will their perceptions of
me change? As I looked around the class, I saw myself immediately assuming each persons
story and recognizing that I really had nothing to contribute to the discussion and I should be
prepared to be on the defensive when in dialogue. This mindset really prevented me from being
involved in class (I dont think I participated in any of the first dialogues) and made me question
my reason for choosing this program. When sharing these trepidations to my fellow ARD, Lisa
Rogers, she pushed me to be comfortable in my own skin and approach the learning and
dialogues from a place of better understanding each persons story and not forcing a narrative on
to someone.
I also vividly remember my first meeting with Bridget about my upcoming dialogue with
Ali Reimel about heterosexism. Thinking that we had a good handle on our material, we were
excited to meet with Bridget and gain some clarity for our dialogue paper and discussion. In that
meeting, Bridget asked what reflections we had about how Ali and I have perpetuated the
systems of heterosexual privileges in our own narrative. I remember feeling like my brain was
about to short-circuit because I realized my place in perpetuating this type of oppression. At that
point, I realized that I needed to find a way to situate myself in the stories and literature
presented in my courses in order to identify my own privilege and use those privileged identities
to help break down systems of oppression. In this experience, I was challenged to see an issue
from multiple perspectives and not allow my own privileged identities think that I am on the
outside of an issue.

Russell Aivazian ePortfolio Narrative Reflection

This challenge continued into my three courses with John, who challenged me to be a
critical consumer of knowledge, literature, and theory. In Student Development Theory and
Leadership, I was excited for the ability to better understand a students growth in school and be
able to name what stage they may be situated. I was surprised to be challenged by John during
the semester to not think about how I could recite theories verbatim, but to think about how the
theories could inform the way I ask questions in one-on-ones, conduct meetings, and personal
conversations with students. Recognizing that not every theory outlines a students experience,
we were asked to think about the ways we could apply the concepts to our work or areas of
interest. For a very concrete thinker like myself, thinking this way seemed very abstract.
However, it was through a conversation with John that reminded me that it is ok to be
uncomfortable and sit in a place that is full of questions. In that state, I can learn more about
myself and find ways to grow and develop as a result of being uncomfortable. Since that course,
I have embraced that challenge to think about how I can practice vulnerability and
uncomfortability with my students in order to walk with them on their developmental journey.
This theme continued in Rome, where John challenged us to be critical consumers of the
artifacts around us. My most vivid memory was having class in the Forum and being asked to
take twenty minutes to look at the various artifacts and take note of how tourists and guides
interacted with the space. Specifically at the Arch of Titus, our class noticed the beauty of the
arch and noted that the tour guides spoke of a glorified battle with Jerusalem. John then
introduced us to the counter-narrative that explained the tragedies of the battle and we discussed
how we could be critical consumers of artifacts while when we are taken outside of our comfort
zone. This prevailed as the theme of the trip, but inspired me to reflect on my own journey and
ways to be a critical consumer of my story and environment.

Russell Aivazian ePortfolio Narrative Reflection

Professional Experiences
As a RA for three years, I came into my Loyola experience being very confident in my
ability to supervise RAs and work in the Department of Residence Life. While it was an
enjoyable first year, I encountered many challenges and growth throughout the experience.
Specifically, I have learned about how to have relationships with students that my personal and
professional roles and how to work in a collaborative environment. Coming into my ARD role, I
knew I wanted to emulate every best supervision practice I experienced over the past four years
in Seattle in order to be the best supervisor. I quickly realized that not every student took well
to my style, which was preventing me from having deep conversations with them about their
own development as a RA and as a person. I had to learn to be open to feedback and provide
many different ways for students to define what the experience looks like for them and what they
want to gain from the RA role. While this was a difficult place to be in, I knew that if I was not
open to feedback from my students, I could not build any meaningful relationship with them.
In addition to better understanding my supervision style, I also was challenged in many
ways to understand what it means to work collaboratively within in the department. I had
trepidations coming into Loyola because I would be supervising upper-class (sophomore, junior,
and senior) residents, an experience I did not have in Seattle. On top of that, I worked on a
supervision team of three (including myself), whose offices were spread across two blocks. This
was very intimidating to me because I did not want to overstep my boundaries and create a
hostile team environment. Through this experience, I had to rely on my co-ARD and supervisor
in order to hold our students to consistent standards and refine the way that I usually work in
teams. Additionally, I had to critically reflect on how I show up in spaces given my outgoing
personality and various agent identities. When working in a team or group, I have found this as

Russell Aivazian ePortfolio Narrative Reflection

crucially important and as an area of continued development as I move through the field of
higher education.
Conclusion
While not every important learning and development I have had throughout this program
could not fit on a five page reflection, I believe that I have grown in my understanding of social
justice and my commitment to challenge myself and my students. Before entering the program, I
was committed to hearing others stories in order to understand their experiences. As a result of
the program, I am dedicated to not only listen to their stories, but to empower students to use
their voices to enact change in their communities. In order to do this, I know that I need to
challenge myself as a professional to better understand my own identities and engage students
and professionals in dialogues about social justice issues. I have learned that my passion for
working with students is directly related to understanding each persons story and my
commitment to support the whole person.
I came into this program wanting to understand how I can professionally enact cura
personalis and am leaving it knowing how to not only care, but empower each student as well. I
know that I also need to empower myself to embrace challenges and be open to everyones
narratives. Through the support of the faculty, professionals, and peers at Loyola, I know that I
am prepared to move into this field and continue to enact change, no matter how big it may be.