1

00:00:07,390 --> 00:00:09,119

<i>If you've got bugs</i>
2
00:00:10,493 --> 00:00:12,723
<i>If you've got ants</i>
3
00:00:13,496 --> 00:00:17,262
<i>If you've got bugs and flies and
slugs and things that crawl</i>
4
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,097
We're here!
5
00:00:22,172 --> 00:00:24,834
- Mom, come see my room!
- I'll be right there, honey!
6
00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:26,738
- Hey, Uncle Charlie.
- Hi, shorty!
7
00:00:26,843 --> 00:00:28,140
Hello, Charlie.
8
00:00:28,244 --> 00:00:30,269
Hi, Judith. What're you doing here?
9
00:00:30,346 --> 00:00:33,076
If you must know, I'm here to help
Jake set up his room,
10
00:00:33,149 --> 00:00:34,878
so he feels like nothing's changed.
11
00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,943
Really? You don't think he'll notice
his dad's living here
12
00:00:38,021 --> 00:00:39,318
and his mom's dating chicks?
13
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:44,085
Could you say that a little louder?
Jake might not have heard you.
14
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,185

Just for the record, I'm not

dating anyone,
15
00:00:46,262 --> 00:00:49,754
and I threw your brother out 'cause
he was sucking the life out of me.
16
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,098
Could you say that a little louder?
17
00:00:53,269 --> 00:00:55,499
Uncle Charlie hasn't met Porky yet!
18
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:58,597
I don't suppose that's a
Rubenesque 19-year-old girl.
19
00:00:59,175 --> 00:01:01,370
Porky's his pet guinea pig.
20
00:01:01,444 --> 00:01:04,140
You're bringing vermin into my house?
21
00:01:04,781 --> 00:01:07,477
Uncle Charlie, check him out!
Isn't he awesome?
22
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:08,744
Yeah.
23
00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,218
See those little black things?
That's his poop.
24
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:14,987
Awesome.
25
00:01:16,059 --> 00:01:19,688
I don't want him in the water this
weekend. He might have an ear infection.
26
00:01:19,829 --> 00:01:21,023
Oh, Mom.
27
00:01:21,097 --> 00:01:24,260
No, it's okay, pal.
We can go to Disneyland.

28
00:01:24,367 --> 00:01:25,857
We'll have a great weekend.
29
00:01:25,935 --> 00:01:29,496
We can play miniature golf, go bowling,
bike riding, whatever you want.
30
00:01:29,572 --> 00:01:33,030
Alan, relax, you're starting to
sound like a tampon commercial.
31
00:01:36,780 --> 00:01:39,010
Jake, why don't you go put Porky
in your room?
32
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,379
Okay.
33
00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:45,081
Alan, I'm very concerned. He's just a child.
I don't know if he can deal with this.
34
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,782
Give your son some credit.
He's an incredible kid.
35
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:49,915
I was talking about you.
36
00:01:51,795 --> 00:01:53,558
- That's fair.
- Yeah.
37
00:02:14,584 --> 00:02:18,816
Charlie? That strange lady
from down the beach is back.
38
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:23,953
Yeah, she's here to baby-sit.
39
00:02:26,729 --> 00:02:28,253
Come again?
40
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,899
I thought we'd go out and have a drink.

41
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:34,562
You want me to leave my son with the
whack job who's been stalking you
42
00:02:34,637 --> 00:02:36,628
since your one night stand?
43
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:39,900
You try and find a
baby-sitter on a Friday night.
44
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:44,241
It's okay, Alan.
Charlie and I talked and I understand
45
00:02:44,314 --> 00:02:47,340
that we're just friends,
and that it is not okay for me
46
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,147
to sneak into his house
and lick all his silverware.
47
00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,987
As reassuring as that sounds,
we can't go out tonight.
48
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:03,258
We're getting up early to go to Disneyland.
49
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:04,391
We?
50
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:07,095
Yeah. I thought that maybe
you'd want to come with us.
51
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:10,765
Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one
small rodent in my house.
52
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,934
Why would I drive fifty miles
to see their kingdom?
53
00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:17,308
I'll go!

54
00:03:19,148 --> 00:03:23,346
Maybe some other time, Rose. It turns out
we're not gonna need a babysitter tonight.
55
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,786
No problem.
I'm gonna take this seat cushion, okay?
56
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:31,188
Knock yourself out.
57
00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:34,629
Why does she want your seat cushion?
58
00:03:34,697 --> 00:03:38,064
I don't know why she brought it,
I don't know why she's taking it.
59
00:03:40,536 --> 00:03:42,128
Okay, then, I'll see you later.
60
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:44,537
Wait, you're still going out?
61
00:03:44,741 --> 00:03:46,333
Yeah. Why?
62
00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:49,477
I thought you wanted us
to spend some time together.
63
00:03:49,545 --> 00:03:50,705
Here?
64
00:03:53,383 --> 00:03:54,509
Okay.
65
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:14,631
What're you thinking? 10, 15 minutes?
66
00:04:14,704 --> 00:04:15,898
- Go.
- Thanks.
67
00:04:24,447 --> 00:04:26,711

Good morning, Uncle Charlie.

68
00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:28,775
Morning, Porky.
69
00:04:29,419 --> 00:04:31,546
Did you have sweet dreams?
70
00:04:33,423 --> 00:04:37,086
Jake, rule number one.
Uncle Charlie does not like
71
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:40,288
to start his day with a
squealing creature in his face.
72
00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:43,797
Sorry. Grandma's here.
She wants you to come down.
73
00:04:43,933 --> 00:04:45,901
Okay, you're not listening.
74
00:04:46,436 --> 00:04:48,097
Rule number one...
75
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:53,433
This is a list of the top divorce
attorneys in Los Angeles.
76
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,807
I've made appointments for you
with each of them.
77
00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:58,938
I don't need to meet any attorneys.
I'm not getting a divorce.
78
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:01,073
I'm sure you don't think so.
79
00:05:03,619 --> 00:05:05,951
The point is, if you consult with all
80
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:10,389
the good lawyers, it's a conflict of
interest for them to represent Judith.

81
00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:13,519
She'll be stuck with some ambulancechasing clown from Van Nuys
82
00:05:13,596 --> 00:05:15,860
who will fold like an origami swan.
83
00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:17,933
I don't want this to be...
84
00:05:18,001 --> 00:05:20,162
Mommy busted her hump on this, Alan.
85
00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:24,664
Thank you?
86
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:27,808
Morning.
87
00:05:30,079 --> 00:05:32,513
Is that all you have to say for yourself?
88
00:05:33,783 --> 00:05:36,149
You haven't returned any
of my calls this week.
89
00:05:36,252 --> 00:05:40,655
It's all I can do to not imagine you
lying dead in a ditch somewhere.
90
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,456
Right back at ya, Mom.
91
00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:49,621
What did you want to talk about?
92
00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:52,031
Too late. I'm not speaking to you.
93
00:05:52,135 --> 00:05:54,501
- All right.
- Would you like to know why?
94
00:05:55,204 --> 00:05:57,365
No, I trust your judgment.

95
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,875
Because when your
brother's marriage ended,
96
00:06:00,977 --> 00:06:03,810
yes, I know, Alan, blah, blah, blah,
97
00:06:04,714 --> 00:06:08,377
and he chose to move in here, your
coldness towards your mother
98
00:06:08,484 --> 00:06:11,476
became more than just the behavior
of an ungrateful son.
99
00:06:11,554 --> 00:06:15,650
It's now an obstacle to my spending
quality time with my beloved grandchild.
100
00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,857
Are you coming to Disneyland with us,
Grandma?
101
00:06:19,962 --> 00:06:23,227
Darling, Grandma doesn't do Anaheim.
102
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:28,369
We'd better hit the road. Try to beat
the traffic. Thanks for dropping by, Mom.
103
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:30,268
Let's go, Jake. I'll race you to the car.
104
00:06:30,373 --> 00:06:32,170
- Bye, Grandma. Bye, Uncle Charlie.
- Bye.
105
00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,005
Wait for me, I'm going!
106
00:07:02,271 --> 00:07:06,970
Come on, boy. Heel. Stay. Now, stay.
107
00:07:07,076 --> 00:07:11,103
Who's a good dog? Oh, yeah!

108
00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:14,408
Hey, Jake, you want to take him?
109
00:07:14,484 --> 00:07:16,611
Whatever. Come on, leash.
110
00:07:19,222 --> 00:07:23,124
Get ready for bed.
I'll be right in to tuck you in.
111
00:07:25,761 --> 00:07:28,753
Happiest place on earth,
my snow white ass.
112
00:07:34,604 --> 00:07:36,333
I had a good time.
113
00:07:38,074 --> 00:07:41,737
Oh, really? Which part did you like best?
114
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,575
The equatorial heat, the endless
lines, or the large German woman that
115
00:07:45,648 --> 00:07:47,616
threw up on me in the Teacup?
116
00:07:50,086 --> 00:07:54,853
Maybe things could have gone smoother,
but tomorrow's gonna make up for it.
117
00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:59,193
Alan, you could get us all laid
tomorrow, it's not gonna make up for it.
118
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:08,527
Hey, sleepy head. You're just in time.
Your pancakes are almost ready.
119
00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:10,003
I'm not hungry.
120
00:08:10,439 --> 00:08:13,602
Not hungry?
Come on, you've gotta fuel up that engine.
121

00:08:13,676 --> 00:08:17,510

- We've got a big day planned.
- My ear hurts.
122
00:08:18,314 --> 00:08:19,542
Oh, no.
123
00:08:20,850 --> 00:08:24,342
Let me feel. Yeah, you're a little warm.
124
00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:27,682
Probably another ear infection.
125
00:08:27,957 --> 00:08:29,982
Okay, new plan.
126
00:08:30,059 --> 00:08:33,551
We'll get you on the antibiotics,
we'll watch a little TV,
127
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:36,564
play some video games.
We'll have a great day.
128
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,395
I want to go home.
129
00:08:38,501 --> 00:08:40,366
You are home.
130
00:08:40,469 --> 00:08:43,029
I know, but the real one, with Mom.
131
00:08:47,677 --> 00:08:51,238
Okay, I understand that.
You know, when a guy's feeling sick,
132
00:08:51,314 --> 00:08:53,646
he needs his mom. Right, Charlie?
133
00:08:53,716 --> 00:08:54,740
Well,
134
00:08:57,386 --> 00:08:59,217
I may not be the one to ask.
135

00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:03,984

Okay, I'll, call your mom and,
tell her we're on our way.
136
00:09:06,596 --> 00:09:10,327
All right, it's just you and me now.
Are you really sick, or are you just
137
00:09:10,399 --> 00:09:12,924
fakin' it to get out of another
fun-filled afternoon?
138
00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:14,662
I'm really sick.
139
00:09:14,737 --> 00:09:17,365
Just checking.
Because I was gonna fake it.
140
00:09:22,078 --> 00:09:27,243
<i>If your home is bug infested
filled with spiders, flies or gnats</i>
141
00:09:27,383 --> 00:09:33,288
<i>All our sprays are safety tested
we kill vermin, not your cats</i>
142
00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,782
Hey. How's the jingle coming?
143
00:09:38,394 --> 00:09:41,625
The lyrics are fine,
the music needs a little work.
144
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:44,256
How's Jake?
145
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:47,402
He'll be okay.
I stayed over at the house a little while.
146
00:09:47,470 --> 00:09:50,701
We watched some movies,
I made us some soup and a couple of
147
00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:54,607
sandwiches,
and Judith suggested I take mine to go.

148
00:09:55,778 --> 00:09:57,143
Suggested?
149
00:09:57,413 --> 00:10:00,576
She started my car and threw my
sandwich in the back seat.
150
00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:02,414
That's rough.
151
00:10:03,252 --> 00:10:06,653
Listen, I'm afraid I got some more
bad news for you.
152
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:09,816
No, gosh, I forgot to bring Porky back.
153
00:10:10,593 --> 00:10:14,791
See, that's the thing.
Nothing's bringing Porky back.
154
00:10:16,599 --> 00:10:19,033
What? Porky's dead?
155
00:10:19,402 --> 00:10:22,098
"Buh-dee, buh-dee, buh-dee,
that's all folks!"
156
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,206
Oh, God.
157
00:10:31,914 --> 00:10:35,941
It's okay.
We can get Jake another guinea pig.
158
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:40,219
Jake will be fine.
This is his fourth Porky in three years.
159
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:45,287
He goes through them faster than shoes.
160
00:10:46,329 --> 00:10:48,627
No, this is about my life.
161

00:10:49,965 --> 00:10:51,489

Everything is going to hell.
162
00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:56,302
Okay, well, don't cry.
We can still be friends.
163
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:00,602
What?
164
00:11:00,776 --> 00:11:04,473
I'm sorry. It's the only thing I know to
say when someone cries around here.
165
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,815
I am so sorry, Porky.
166
00:11:10,986 --> 00:11:13,511
You just kept running around
in your little cage,
167
00:11:13,622 --> 00:11:17,183
trying to make everybody
happy. And what do you get?
168
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,650
You get dead.
169
00:11:21,497 --> 00:11:24,466
You do know the pig can't hear you, right?
170
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:28,028
Don't you get it? I am the pig!
171
00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:33,365
Okay. I'm just asking, because your
reaction doesn't seem very healthy to me.
172
00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,706
And what do you think would be healthy,
Charlie?
173
00:11:35,811 --> 00:11:39,338
I don't know. Why don't we toss Porky
in the ocean and go get bombed?
174
00:11:43,753 --> 00:11:46,779

How could you?

175
00:11:48,591 --> 00:11:49,615
Okay.
176
00:11:59,568 --> 00:12:03,163
Toss him in the ocean. Very clever.
177
00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:06,731
Who knew pelicans eat guinea pigs?
178
00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,844
What's happening?
179
00:12:16,552 --> 00:12:19,146
Sunday's Tequila Night at Pavlov's.
180
00:12:19,221 --> 00:12:21,689
Every time the bell rings,
you gotta take a shot.
181
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,216
Why?
182
00:12:24,093 --> 00:12:26,027
'Cause the bell rings.
183
00:12:27,396 --> 00:12:28,522
Okay.
184
00:12:28,597 --> 00:12:30,497
You gotta bark first.
185
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:38,263
Charlie,
186
00:12:38,741 --> 00:12:43,110
when my son looked at me and told me
that he wanted to go "home",
187
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,105
that broke my heart.
188
00:12:46,215 --> 00:12:47,443
I saw.

189
00:12:47,583 --> 00:12:51,212
You know, my kid is sick,
and I can't even be with him.
190
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:56,116
You know, I'm a failure, Charlie.
I'm a failure as a father,
191
00:12:56,225 --> 00:12:57,624
I'm a failure as a husband.
192
00:12:57,726 --> 00:13:02,459
You didn't fail.
First of all, that little boy loves you.
193
00:13:02,531 --> 00:13:05,659
Second of all, just because your wife
decides she doesn't like
194
00:13:05,734 --> 00:13:08,532
sleeping with men, doesn't mean
you've failed as a husband.
195
00:13:08,604 --> 00:13:11,198
Although, I wouldn't brag about it.
196
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,570
You're right. This is Judith's fault.
197
00:13:14,643 --> 00:13:17,942
She's the one who breached our
marriage contract asunder.
198
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:22,847
And I let her make decisions that
should have been in my dominion.
199
00:13:24,453 --> 00:13:28,389
Alan, people are gonna do whatever
they're gonna do in this world.
200
00:13:28,624 --> 00:13:32,116
The only thing a man can control
is his own actions.
201
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,470
I don't remember where we left our car.

202
00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:48,372
This isn't our car?
203
00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:51,637
Where to?
204
00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:52,975
Home.
205
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:56,585
- And that would be?
- Sherman Oaks.
206
00:13:56,652 --> 00:13:58,279
We don't live in Sherman Oaks.
207
00:13:58,387 --> 00:14:01,481
I do. I am a Sherman Oaksian and I am
208
00:14:01,557 --> 00:14:04,424
going home for as to reclaim my home.
209
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:10,455
That's a very bad idea.
I'll tell you what's a good idea.
210
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:14,999
Chili cheese fries and a large root
beer. With chili cheese fries.
211
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,637
And girls.
212
00:14:19,174 --> 00:14:24,077
No. I am going home to my wife
213
00:14:24,146 --> 00:14:26,512
to impose my dominion over her.
214
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:29,846
Yeah. The lesbians love that.
215
00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,016
Driver! Sherman Oaks!

216
00:14:36,258 --> 00:14:39,284
1167, Bonnie Meadow Drive.
217
00:14:39,528 --> 00:14:43,259
Goodbye, Charlie.
I'll be back for my things tomorrow.
218
00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:46,199
Thank you, driver. You've been most kind.
219
00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:56,440
So, back to Malibu?
220
00:14:56,879 --> 00:14:59,006
No. Let's give it a second.
221
00:15:03,018 --> 00:15:07,785
Did you know they put
chocolate pudding in tubes now?
222
00:15:08,057 --> 00:15:10,890
No, I did not.
223
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:15,794
They do. My nephew eats them.
224
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,293
They're surprisingly good.
225
00:15:24,139 --> 00:15:26,471
You know, that's an interesting
sibling dynamic
226
00:15:26,542 --> 00:15:28,510
you've got goin' with your brother there.
227
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,641
You get that I'm loaded, right?
228
00:15:36,552 --> 00:15:38,144
Drive!
229
00:15:43,559 --> 00:15:47,120
So? How'd it go?
230

00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:52,228

She chased me out of the house
with a golf club.
231
00:15:55,504 --> 00:15:57,233
Taking up golf already.
232
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,971
What was it like, a six iron?
233
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,635
What difference does it make?
234
00:16:02,711 --> 00:16:05,908
I just want to be able to
tell the story accurately.
235
00:16:15,157 --> 00:16:16,681
It's not funny.
236
00:16:16,925 --> 00:16:19,223
Then why are you laughing?
237
00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:21,689
Because I don't know what else to do.
238
00:16:23,766 --> 00:16:26,166
I wish I could ask Dad for advice.
239
00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:29,263
You'd go to Dad for marriage counseling?
240
00:16:29,838 --> 00:16:33,171
Alan, our father committed suicide
to get away from our mother.
241
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:37,178
What're you talking about? Dad didn't
commit suicide. He died of food poisoning.
242
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:41,046
I maintain that he knew the fish was
bad, but he kept eating it anyway.
243
00:16:42,551 --> 00:16:45,452
Your mother sounds like
a real piece of work.

244
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:49,456
You have no idea, my friend.
245
00:16:49,558 --> 00:16:54,018
My mother took my baby brother
and dipped him in sissy sauce
246
00:16:54,797 --> 00:16:58,096
and turned him into the people-pleasing
control freak you see today.
247
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:02,534
That's right!
And she made him so scared of intimacy
248
00:17:02,604 --> 00:17:05,698
that he has just this
endless stream of gorgeous girls
249
00:17:05,774 --> 00:17:07,742
running in and out of his life.
250
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,175
Damn her.
251
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:16,615
You know, many psychologists agree,
until the core maternal relationship
252
00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:21,520
is resolved, most men are doomed to
repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns.
253
00:17:22,591 --> 00:17:25,025
Just drive the cab, Doctor Phil.
254
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:29,431
You know what, Charlie? He's not wrong.
255
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:32,125
At some point, we have to stand up to her.
256
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,634
Look who's got beer muscles
all of a sudden.

257
00:17:34,737 --> 00:17:36,932
No, I'm serious. Come on. Right now.
258
00:17:37,039 --> 00:17:41,135
Let's confront her. You with me? Come on!
259
00:17:41,443 --> 00:17:43,206
Oh, my God.
260
00:17:44,046 --> 00:17:47,140
I can't believe it!
You really are afraid of Mom!
261
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:48,814
I am not.
262
00:17:49,084 --> 00:17:51,575
All these years,
I thought you were so cool.
263
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,121
But you're just a big clucking chicken!
264
00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:55,247
Ouch.
265
00:17:56,692 --> 00:17:57,784
Ouch?
266
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:01,125
Okay, that's it. We have a new destination.
267
00:18:01,363 --> 00:18:02,921
Beverly Hills.
268
00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:04,756
You got an address?
269
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:08,792
Just go east on Sunset until
you reach the Gates of Hell.
270
00:18:12,107 --> 00:18:13,836
She'll buzz us in.
271

00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,209

I can't wait to see her face.
272
00:18:20,315 --> 00:18:22,044
She's gonna freak.
273
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,884
You ready?
274
00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:27,319
Ring the bell.
275
00:18:37,966 --> 00:18:39,331
<i>Who is it?</i>
276
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,794
It's your sons!
277
00:18:42,604 --> 00:18:44,265
Charlie and Alan.
278
00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:50,641
<i>Hi, Mom.</i>
279
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:55,940
<i>Dear God. Hold on. I'll be right there.</i>
280
00:18:56,852 --> 00:18:59,821
Okay, what exactly are we
gonna say to her?
281
00:19:00,322 --> 00:19:03,348
Now you ask? This was your safari.
282
00:19:03,692 --> 00:19:07,128
We're here to resolve the core
maternal thing.
283
00:19:07,196 --> 00:19:09,494
Wait, I'll go ask the cabbie.
284
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,723
Nice try.
285
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,165
Somebody better be dead.

286
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:23,133
Porky's dead.
287
00:19:26,148 --> 00:19:29,015
And you completely screwed up our lives.
288
00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:30,675
I'm sorry?
289
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:33,186
- That's good enough for me.
- Yeah, I'm good.
290
00:19:34,556 --> 00:19:36,148
Driver, drive!
291
00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,361
Good morning, sunshine.
292
00:19:48,770 --> 00:19:52,934
God. Close the drapes.
293
00:19:55,744 --> 00:20:00,272
Hey, what's this?
"Release and indemnification form. "
294
00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:02,444
What?
295
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:05,753
Were you on some kind of
television show last night?
296
00:20:06,221 --> 00:20:07,381
I don't think so.
297
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:09,788
You and your brother signed it.
298
00:20:09,892 --> 00:20:11,723
Let me see that.
299
00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:15,220
Alan.

300
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:19,531
Alan, wake up.
301
00:20:23,405 --> 00:20:25,100
We got a problem.
302
00:20:28,844 --> 00:20:30,744
"Taxicab Confessions?"
303
00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:35,706
<i>If you've got bugs</i>
304
00:20:36,118 --> 00:20:38,552
<i>If you've got ants</i>
305
00:20:39,288 --> 00:20:42,746
<i>If you've got bugs and flies and
slugs and things that crawl</i>
306
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,584
<i>Ain't that Beethoven?</i>
307
00:20:49,865 --> 00:20:54,359
<i>I don't even know how my wife
is gonna be a lesbian.</i>
308
00:20:55,304 --> 00:20:57,272
<i>She hates oral sex.</i>
309
00:20:57,539 --> 00:20:58,972
<i>Hates it!</i>
310
00:21:27,169 --> 00:21:28,363
English

9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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