Young & Bored: The Purple Platypus (Animated)

By
Jordan Zangrillo

EST. BRIANS HOUSE. MORNING

Brian is a teenager, around 14, a white, pale, skinny,
long-haired kid who routinely wears a blue hoodie. His long
hair casts a shadow over his eyes, so you can never see
them.
We see a shot of Brians house along with the rising sun. A
rooster is perched ontop of a roof, calling "cockadoodle
doo".
morning music plays.
INT. BRIANS ROOM. MORNING
Brian slowly wakes up to the sounds of the rooster, yawns,
hits his bowl (laying near his bedside), then goes back to
sleep. The sun rises indicating noon. That same rooster is
seen leaving walking across Brians window humorously
carrying a briefcase. He spots Brian still asleep, shakes
his head in disappointment, then knocks on the window to
wake him up. He continues to walk off screen as Brian slowly
wakes up. Once again he yawns.
again, morning music plays.
BRIAN
(yawns)
Morning already?
He gets up from his bed then stretches. He walks over
towards his window staring out at it.
BRIAN
Ahh, what a beautiful day to be
alive.
He then closes both his blinds on his windows, preventing
any light from getting in.
the morning music stops playing.
He turns on the radio.
BRIAN
Ah, time to see what the world is
listening to...
First song that plays, a melancholy song;
"I wonder why she left me...all broken and lonely"
He changes to another channel, this time a rap song;
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

"I got money yo. I got money son. I got money money money"
He changes the channel again only to land on one of his
favorite bands.
BRIAN
Aw yes! The Purple Platypuses!
Finally the radio playing something
good for once.
Brian drums with his pens on his desk, showing that he
posses some musical talent. The song finishes in an epic
drum solo, then the Clown Disk Jockey gets on. He is
literally a clown.
CLOWN DISK JOCKEY
OK kids! Anyone who can name that
song WINS TWO TICKETS TO SEE THE
PURPLE PLATYPUSES TONIGHT IN VALLEY
STREAM PARK!
BRIAN
TWO TICKETS TO SEE THE PURPLE
PLATYPUSES!!! HOLY SHIT!
Brian reaches for his phone, fumbling it at first out of
nervousness. It rings once
CLOWN DISK JOCKEY
WOW that was fast. Ok, what is...
BRIAN
-The name of the song is Jolly
Underneath the Broken Bridge by
The Purple Playtapuses!
CLOWN DISK JOCKEY
Whoa, hey! Whatya know? Thats
correct!! Congratulations kid!
Youre going to see the Purple
Platypuses!
BRIAN
(screams like a little girl)
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
CLOWN DISK JOCKEY
Haha, alright kid settle down.
Anyways kids, now heres some time
to enjoy a fun word from our
sponsor!
The show cuts to a commercial about a little kids product.
They exchange information then Brian hangs up the phone.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

BRIAN
Its a dream come true! A dream
come true! And now, finally, I will
get a chance to meet my hero! The
person who inspired me to make
music art. The person who I look up
to and admire most, Lord of the
Drums... Rennolds!
Brian runs over to his poster of Rennolds hanging up on his
wall. It is revealed that Brian has all The Purple
Platypuses albums, posters, and movies. He looks up at the
poster. He begins to daydream, then suddenly Rennolds in the
poster extends his hand towards Brian. Brian greets his hand
with his, then is pulled into the poster. The background is
very dreamy.
BRIAN
Wow Rennolds, Im such a huge fan.
Youre such a hero of mine, you
mean so much to me, and I just
wanted to say...Thank you. Youre
music really inspired me to study
alternate forms of percussion.
RENNOLDS
(nods his head)
Awesome man. Right on. Music is all
around us, if you just let yourself
listen.
BRIAN
Wow, this is awesome. Me and
Rennolds. No one is ever going to
believe this...
Just then, Brian gets a devilish idea.
BRIAN (CONT)
Hey Rennolds, Im kind of
embarrassed to ask you this... but
do you think I could get your
autograph?
RENNOLDS
(smiles)
Sure Brian. Anything for you.
Brians fantasy bubble phases out as he is pushed out the
poster and down onto the floor.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

BRIAN
(in wonder)
Wow...
Brian walks over to his desk.
BRIAN
Time to see what ladies I should
invite to come see the Purple
Platypuses with me, since I have an
extra ticket and all...
He opens up his drawer and pulls out his black book.
BRIAN (CONT)
Ahh yes. My master collection
of girls numbers Ive saved over
the years.
He opens the book but there is nothing but cobwebs and a
lonely spider.
BRIAN
Damn it! My ladies list must be
V.I.P. Guess theres only one
person left to call...
Brian picks up the phone and dials.
EST. DAVEDS HOUSE. DAY
From downstairs you can hear an older woman (Daveds mom)
screaming and cussing. We can hear the phone ringing over
the woman from up above in the attic.
INT. DAVEDS ATTIC. DAY
Daved is a teenager around 14, dark skinned, fit, wears lots
of black and has a huge mohawk (bigger then his head). He
lives up in his attic comfortably. He has his window open
and is embracing the sunlight.
He is whistling the same morning music from earlier. He is
cooking breakfast eggs on an electric skillet in his room.
He pulls out a bread roll, splits it in two, then places the
eggs on the bottom half. He then grabs a handful of doritos
chips and places them on top of the eggs. He closes it with
the top bun then takes a giant bite out of it. He picks up
his ringing phone.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

5.

DAVED
(mouth full)
Whuts good.
BRIAN
Daved! I won two tickets to see The
Purple Platypuses tonight at Valley
Stream!
DAVED
Sick! Im coming.
BRIAN
Not so fast. Who says Im inviting
you? Theres a long list of ladies
awaiting my invite...
DAVED
Brian we both know you dont know
any ladies.
(beat)
BRIAN
...Well alright then, I guess you
can come. Seeing as youre the only
girl I know.
DAVED
This is awesome man, I cant wait.
I cant wait to get fucked up as
hell. Im already trying to drink,
you think well be abe to cop some
Molly?
BRIAN
Uh, Yeah? Sure. Its a show. Im
sure their will be something.
Purple Platypuses target audience
is usually drugged out teenagers.
DAVED
Sick. Alright. But first...I have
to take a shit.
BRIAN
(sighs)
Well fine, but hurry up. Meet me at
the train station when youre done.
We have to get there before the
crowds.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

6.

DAVED
Deuces.
Brian & Daved both hang up their phones.
EST. LONG ISLAND RAIL ROAD. DAY
A shot of the Baldwin Train Station as trains are coming in
and out. Brian and Daved are already on the train.
INT. TRAIN. DAY
Daved and Brian sit next to each other.
BRIAN
Hey do I look alright? Do I got
anything in my teeth? Bags under my
eyes?
DAVED
Why does it matter what you look
like? Were there to wreck havoc,
not to win a beauty contest.
BRIAN
Well Daved, as a matter of fact,
today is the day Im not only going
to meet Rennolds, but Im going to
get his autograph as well!
DAVED
Whos Rennolds?
BRIAN
What?
(sigh)
Hes the drummer for the Purple
Platypuses. Hes my musical idol.
And once I have his autograph... I
will have captured his essence and
stored it so that itll be mine
forever! Muhahaha!
DAVED
Whoa man, I dont think thats such
a great idea.
BRIAN
What? Why not?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.
DAVED
Well man, you know what they say...
Never meet your heroes.
BRIAN
What? Who says that?
DAVED
(winces)
They say it.
BRIAN
Ahh, thats baloney
DAVED
Its not baloney Brian! It happened
to me! Once, a very long time
ago...last summer... I actually met
one of my heroes...

FLASHBACK: INT. 7/11 STORE. NIGHT

Daved stumbles drunk into a 7/11 eating a turkey sandwich
with doritos on it.
DAVED (V.O.)
It was around 3 a.m. when I
stumbled upon a 7/11 looking to cop
a dutch. Naturally I gravitated
towards the magazines, when all of
a sudden, I saw him...
Josh Gad turns around. Daved is frozen still in complete
shock.
DAVED
(star struck)
Dude... youre Josh Gad.
JOSH GAD
Yeah?
DAVED
(still star struck)
Dude...youre that dude in all
those party movies dude!
JOSH GAD
Yea? So?
Daved automatically extends his arm offering Josh Gad his
sandwich.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

8.

DAVED
(still star struck)
Here. Take my sandwich.
Josh Gad inspects the sandwich.
JOSH GAD
Does that sandwich have doritos on
it??
DAVED
(still star struck)
Yes...
JOSH GAD
(disgusted)
Ughh...no thanks. Thats kinda
weird. Taking a sandwich from some
creepy homeless guy...
Daved goes from star struck to heart broken. Josh Gad walks
away and Daved drops his sandwich onto the floor. The
doritos pour out everywhere. Daved covers his eyes to hide
the shame of his tears. Fade out.
INT. TRAIN. DAY
DAVED
So you see Brian...I do know what
Im talking about. Never meet your
heroes! Youll always be shocked to
find that they...are just as human
as you.
BRIAN
...Well Im not gonna offer him a
nasty ass sandwich. Im just asking
for his autograph. Thats all.
DAVED
(sighs)
The folly of man is not being able
to admit what he doesnt already
know...
BRIAN
What? What does that even mean?
Shut up, you dont know anything.
The train soon arrives and Daved and Brian depart.

9.

EXT. VALLEY STREAM PARK. DAY

Brian and Daved get on a long line at the Park Ticket Booth.
There are many little kids in line with their parents. The
"Pokemon theme song" can be heard playing in the background.
DAVED
Whoa. Is that the Pokemon theme
song?
BRIAN
Mm, ya I think so.
DAVED
Dude, I havent heard that shit
since I was like 10.
BRIAN
Yep.
DAVED
...Hey, is it just me, or are there
a lot of 10 year olds here?
BRIAN
(ill-affected)
Well I guess it makes sense...
While The Purple Platypuses have
sharp political satire along with
strong social commentary, they
often disguise their messages in
the form of little kids songs.
DAVED
So then... its a kids show? Brian
always knows where the cool partys
at.
They enter onto the main turf.
BRIAN
Its what gives them such a cult
following and what adds to the
allure of the Purple Platypuses.
Thats just one of the many reasons
why Rennolds is my idFrom the corner of Brians eye he catches a glimpse of
Rennolds leaving his tent and then quickly disappearing
after walking backstage.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

BRIAN
HOLY SHIT! ITS RENNOLDS!
The parents cover the ears of their young as Brian and Daved
run towards the gate where Brian just saw Rennolds pass.
BRIAN
Damn it! We just missed him! We
were so close!
DAVED
Yeah. Too bad this stupid gate is
here.
BRIAN
Dude fuck the gate. Lets just hop
it.
DAVED
Hey ya well just...hey, wait a
minute... And risk getting in
trouble? Thats not very like you
Brian...
Brian turns around seemingly possessed under a spell.
BRIAN
(deep voice)
HELP ME OVER THIS GATE OR I WILL
PUNISH YOU.
DAVED
Ah, Ok. Geez.
Daved helps Brian up when suddenly a security officer with a
mustache stops them.
SECURITY OFFICER
Hey! What do you punks think your
doin?
BRIAN
(back to normal)
Oh, uh. Nothing? We were just uh,
trying to see if we could get to
meet Rennolds really quick.
SECURITY OFFICER
Sorry boys. Im afraid I cant
allow you to do that. Only people
with a backstage pass are allowed
to enter through this gate.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

BRIAN
Oh yeah I have one of those...lets
see...its, umm... hold on let me
find it...
Brian and Daved check their pockets for about 15 cold
minutes. The security guard stares blankly at them.
BRIAN
Huh... I must of misplaced it on
accident. You should just let us in
anyway. You know, to make up for
lost time...
SECURITY OFFICER
(angrily)
What! Get outta here ya bunch of
punks! And dont let me catch ya
over here again!
Brian and Daved exit the area and arrive on the main turf.
BRIAN
God what a dick! What a stinky
smelly dick!
DAVED
I dont know, I thought he smelt
kind of good. He had a lot of
cologne on.
BRIAN
We were so close! We cant turn
back now. Its right there. We just
gotta keep pushing.
DAVED
Hmmm, alright. If this is how today
is gonna go down, then Im gonna
need somethin to drink...
Daved walks over to a booth selling all kinds of drinks. A
bored looking man stands there.
DAVED
Hey chief, slide me 2 cold ones,
would ya?
MAN
We dont serve "cold ones" here
sir.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

DAVED
What? What about a warm one then? I
have an I.D.! And by no means is it
counterfeit!
MAN
No sir, I mean, this is a Radio
Disney event. Geared towards good
clean fun and entertainment. No
alcohol is permitted on the
premises...
a dramatic birds eye view shot of Daved from above as he
stares up into the sky yelling.
DAVED
NOOO0O0O0O0O0O0O0O!!!
the camera pans out revealing a bird shitting over him from
up above.
EXT. CENTER FIELD. DAY
Both Brian & Daved are sitting down in Auguste Rodins The
Thinker pose. Their backs face each other and they are
quietly talking to themselves.
BRIAN
Ive got to find a way to get past
that guard. If only I had a
backstage pass...
DAVED
I gotta finda way to get fucked
up!..If only I had some weed.
BRIAN
You know, Ill bet some little
twerp out there has a pass. Maybe I
could use that!
DAVED
Ill bet one of these kids is
sellin. Shit I was smokin all
sorts of crazy stuff at their age.
Brian and Daved both get up and look at each other.
BRIAN
Alright. I got an idea. Its a long
shot, but its worth it.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

13.

DAVED
It must be true then, great minds
think alike.
EXT. FRONT FIELD. NEAR STAGE. DAY
Daved and Brian make their way through a giant crowd of a
hundred kids.
Brian, in one direction, is snooping up and down each kid
looking to see whos got a pass, but finds nothing.
Daved is in another direction, discretely calling for drugs.
DAVED
.....Bud? ..........Bud?
........Bud?
All of the little kids in Daveds way shrug their shoulders
as if to say cant help.
Brian spots a young boy in a business suit with slicked-back
gelled hair talking to some girl off in the corner. Brian
notices the pass tied around the kids neck. He shoves a
little kid out of his way and gets on all 4s like a wild
animal after its prey...
Daved is still calling for bud and is pushing through the
crowd of little kids when all of a sudden his leg abruptly
gets caught. He looks down and see a small happy fat kid
hugging his leg very tightly.
DAVED
What theFAT KID
Buddy!!!
DAVED
Ugh! Drugs not hugs!
Daved shakes his leg up & down but the fat kid wont let go.
Brian stealthily creeps up behind the rich boy as he speaks
RICH BOY
As you can see Im currently
attending Yale Elementary. Its
where all the most prestigious
children attend preschool.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14.

Brian slowly begins to untie the pass. The girl stares at

Brian as he does this, but she says nothing. The rich boy
pulls out a monocle and places it in his eye.
RICH BOY
I dont mean to brag, its just,
youre such a pretty girl and, I,
wanted to know if you would like to
join me backstage. Perhaps to share
some milk and cookies?
Brian finally gets the pass and runs away. The girl looks
back up at the boy.
Daved is still trying to shake the fat kid off of his leg.
DAVED
Get off me loser!
But the fat kid snuggles his face into Daveds leg.
FAT KID
Mmmmmmm. Buddy.
Brian runs over.
BRIAN
I got it! Cmon lets go!
DAVED
I cant. This kid wont let go of
me!
BRIAN
Uh. Hey kid. Look over there! Its
your parents!
The fat kid lets go.
FAT KID
Mommy? Daddy?
Brian and Daved run away as fast as they can.
FAT KID
But mommy and daddy are dead....
They make it out of the crowd but run right into the
Security Guard who is standing with the rich boy and the
girl. Brian stops dead in his tracks.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

15.

SECURITY OFFICER
Were boys you doin somethin
illegal?
DAVED
It was Brian!
BRIAN
It was Daved!
SECURITY OFFICER
Which one of you stole this little
boys pass?
Brian hesitates.
BRIAN
Officer. On the good of my name
Ive never stolen anything before
in my life!
The guard towers over Brian to intimidate him. He snatches
the pass out of Brians hands.
SECURITY OFFICER
Oh really? Whats the name on the
pass say then?
BRIAN
Its, uh....
Brian looks at Daved who has no answers. There is a long and
awkward silence.
BRIAN
Ohh, ok I get it. This is a trick.
Theres not really a name on that
pass...Im supposed to say
something and just by me answering
the question I get it wrong.
SECURITY OFFICER
-The name on the pass IS Wimpleton
Humperdink!
BRIAN
Huh...Wow....Is it really?
RICH BOY
Punish him!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

16.
SECURITY OFFICER
Stealing and then lying to the
authority of the law. Thats some
hard time you boys are lookin
at...
DAVED
Boys? What did I do?
SECURITY OFFICER
Youre an accomplice! And if the
two of you cant give me a good
reason why not to lock you up right
now, then thats exactly whats
gonna happen. So...got anything to
say?

The pressure builds and Brian breaks the tension by doing a

goofy dance. He stops. It is even more awkward then before.
BRIAN
Ok...listen. Rennolds is my hero,
and Ive waited my whole life to
get to meet him. Maybe Im getting
a little star-struck and manic, but
I ask you...have you ever had a
hero that youve looked up to?
The security guard looks up towards the sky.
SECURITY OFFICER
You know what, Ive never thought
of it that way. Ok boys youve -The security officer watches Daved spit on the ground
infront of him.
SECURITY OFFICER
Hey! Dont spit on the ground!
Daved spits again.
DAVED
Why not?
SECURITY OFFICER
Because I said so.
Daved spits again.
DAVED
Ive got a spitting problem.
The security guard walks over and towers Daved.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

17.

SECURITY OFFICER
Then learn to swallow like your
girlfriend does.
Daved spits again.
DAVED
I dont have a girlfriend. Maybe
your mom can teach me.
Shot of angry security officer.
EXT. TIMEOUT. BACKFIELD. DAY
Daved and Brian are sitting in a fenced-in TIME OUT playpen.
The pen has bars that represent prison. They are both
staring at a large concrete wall in front of them with their
backs facing the direction of the stage, all while wearing
dunce caps.
DAVED
Sure wish I was fucked up right
now.
BRIAN
...Is that all you know how to say?
DAVED
Look, my brain works like a
computer. Either its on, or its
off. And when Im sober, its off.
BRIAN
Great. So now what are we supposed
to do? Hope & pray for a miracle?
Just then a monkey appears climbing on the branches of a
nearby tree.
DAVED
Hey look, a monkey!
BRIAN
Who cares?
Daved points to the monkey. The monkey grabs a banana, sits
there and stares back at them. Brian looks up at it. It
stares at Brian.
BRIAN
God, can you believe we evolved
from monkeys?
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

18.

Daved begins to speak, addressing the monkey.

DAVED
Hey there! My ape brethren!
The monkey points to himself.
DAVED
Yes, you ape brethren. We need
youre help. We need you to open
the gate.
Brian and Daved both stare at the monkey. The monkey farts
then points back at them.
BRIAN
God you see. Its just a stupid
monkey!
DAVED
Brian you can insult me all you
want. But dont insult the monkey,
have some dignity.
BRIAN
Oh please. That monkey doesnt know
what its like to have dreams! It
has no finer feelings! Why for all
it knows it cant even tell the
difference between its banana and
its poop.
Brian yells through the dunce cap.
BRIAN
You hear that! Youre stupid
monkey!
The monkey then throws the banana super hard like a
boomerang and it knocks Brian out stone cold.
EXT. BRIANS DREAM. GRAVEYARD
A tombstone and several of Brians friends, including Daved,
all dressed in black, stand over a grave.
DAVED
Were here today, to remember the
life that should have been. To
honor the art that was never made.
Nobody knew him, but that didnt
stop him from not existing...
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

19.

One of the friends sheds a tear.

DAVED
You will never see the music, and
you can never hear the face. If
only this soul would rise out of
the dirt and deliver onto us the
music. Maybe then...will he have
mattered.
A shot of the tombstone reads LOSER with an symbol
underneath it. The dream fades out
EXT. TIMEOUT. DAY
Brian wakes up clutching his head.
BRIAN
Ugh...Daved? Daved! Where are you?
He turns to see Daved breaking up a banana peel with his
hands onto a sheet of cigarette paper.
DAVED
Sup loser.
Brian rubs his head.
BRIAN
What the hell happened...And what
the hell are you doing?
DAVED
Tryna smoke sum banana peels bro.
Just like The Dead Milkmen.
BRIAN
Thats just a song man! You cant
actually...oh wait. Actually. I
think you can. But it has to be...
DAVED
-Exactly.
He lights the rolled cigarette and takes a massive hit. He
holds it in for a long time, then vomits hard all over the
ground. Daveds body turns green.
BRIAN
...Dude your supposed to boil em
and cook em first.
Daved spits.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

20.

DAVED
Fuck you Brian.
He takes another puff, then again vomits.
BRIAN
Great. How can this get any worse.
Just then a man gets on a loudspeaker near the stage and
speaks.
MAN IN LOUDSPEAKER
Hey kids, get your free Purple
Platypus signed gear right here!
Theres only a few left so dont...
The kids all push and shove each other to get to the far
side of the stage. The entire field is empty. Brian shakes
the playpen.
BRIAN
No!!!
He on looks the little kids grabbing the merchandise. He
turns back and sees Daved in the middle of taking another
hit then again vomiting.
DAVED
Dude, fuck it... Rennolds is
overrated anyway.
The anger builds within Brian, and he attacks Daved. The two
wrestle when suddenly a really thick skunky smell penetrates
though their noses. They both stop fighting and take a wiff
of the air. We hear the beginning to the song, "Purple Haze"
by Jimi Hendrix.
CUT TO:
EXT. CENTER FIELD. DAY
A Giant Purple Platypus pushing an entire wheelbarrow full
of weed. The wheelbarrow has the word Purple written on
the front. The mascot is walking very clumsily due to its
large size and its head is bobbing up and down to the bounce
of the music.
The mascot wheels the barrow right past the timeout gate and
the door magically opens. Brian and Daved are in as much
shock as they are mystified, and so they hypnotically follow
The Purple Platypus as he trots across the field.

21.

EXT. FIELD. DAY

The children are all distracted pushing and shoving each
other to get to the free merchandise at the front of the
stage. shit gets real in back of them.
As Brian and Daved follow the allure of the purple platypus
the colors of the field turn trippy and psychedelic. Their
is a big tree near the gate that has big stoned eyes and a
big fat grin. He bobs to the music. The sun is wearing
shades smokin a fat j shining to the music. The grass sways
to the music as the platypus trots by. everything is either
bouncing or swaying to the music.
The Platypus approaches the guard. Flowers around the
guards feet grow to the size of humans and they start
dancing hypnotically back and forth. The security guard
inexplicably breaks into dancing with one of the giant
flowers. The guard dances and gets lost in the music.
A random street-light turns green and the gate opens. The
Platypus enters with Brian and Daved coasting through the
air right behind him.
EXT. BACK ALLEY. DAY
the music continues to play as they move past the gate.
They turn a corner and enter a back alley. Garbage cans have
eyes and are dancing. The small individual pieces of trash
inside the garbage can are also dancing. Graffiti on the
walls turn into a trippy visualizer to the music. There is a
sign that says Get High with an arrow pointing up. Daved
sees it and gives a salute.
The backdoor opens and the Platypus walks in, but as he does
this the rich boy and girl from earlier also simultaneously
exit. The magic fades & disappears when the children come
out. The colors of the back alley turn back into their
normal dark/cold colors. The alley reveals it is actually
dark and scary. The garbage cans go back to being dead,
and the trippy graffiti becomes vandalism. The kids are
talking amongst themselves, as Brian and Daved panic worried
theyll be caught.
BRIAN
Shit, the kids!
The Get High sign which Daved is standing next to has
turned into a DO NOT CLIMB ROOF sign. He points to the
roof.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

22.

DAVED
Quick, up here!
CUT TO:
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY
Daved gives Brian a boost onto the roof, then Brian pulls
Daved up in return... but he is struggling. Daveds legs
flail. The kids walk by underneath him.
RICH BOY
Wow, Rennolds is so cool! I dont
think Ive ever met anyone as cool
as Rennolds!
GIRL
Me neither!
BRIAN
Errrrrrr.....
Brian growls in anger. Daved gets angry
DAVED
Pull me up jackass!
Brian pulls extra hard and yanks Daved up ontop the roof.
Daved looks agitated.
BRIAN
I cant believe those little twerps
got to hang out with Rennolds! I
bet they dont even fully
comprehend the Purple Platypus
music!
DAVED
Who gives a fuck man. Did you see
all that weed?
BRIAN
-what weed?
Brian continues to talk but his voice gets drowned out in
the backgroud as a sexy olive green color scent moves across
Daveds nose and wraps around it seductively. Daveds pupils
dilate. We focus back out to catch Brian finishing the end
of his sentence.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

23.

BRIAN
-but boy, what a platypus!
Daved abruptly runs and follows the scent.
BRIAN
Hey, wait for me!
Brian follows Daved over to the back of the long roof where
there a large open skylight window. Huge thick amounts black
smoke are rising up out of it. Brian looks down into it.
Sitting in a circle passing a blunt around is Rennolds, the
rest of the band, and the guy in the Purple Platypus costume
(who has now taken off the platypus head in order to smoke).
The wheelbarrow of weed is in the middle. We cut back to
Brian.
BRIAN
I cant believe it! Its like a
sexual fantasy!
Brian lifts his leg but the cocking of a gun is heard behind
Brians head.
DAVED
Not..so...fast....Brian.
We see it is Daved wearing dark shades and holding a gun
behind Brians head. Brian has his arms up in surrender.
BRIAN
(scared)
Daved man... what the fuck!
DAVED
You compromise the mission Brian.
BRIAN
What mission!?
Daved moves around infront of Brian still pointing the gun.
DAVED
The weed Brian. Im talkin about
the fuckin weed.
BRIAN
Is that a gun? Have you gone
completely crazy!?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

24.

Daved takes off his shades to reveal that, yes, he has in

fact gone crazy. His eyes are separated going in different
directions while he is drooling immensely. He has bags under
his eyes and wrinkles on his face.
DAVED
Oh ok, so Im the one thats crazy
then!
Daved pulls out a best friends picture of both Daved &
Brian with their arms wrapped around each other. A cut-out
picture of Rennolds face is pasted over Daveds face.
DAVED
If Im the ones thats crazy, then
explain this!
In defense, Brian pulls out the same best friends picture,
only except this time a picture of weed is cut out and
pasted over Brians face.
BRIAN
Oh ya, well you explain this!
Daved reaches over to Brians picture, peels the weed off,
revealing a hidden secret picture of Rennolds pasted over
Brians own face. Brians flabbergasted face is incredibly
funny.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY
RENNOLDS takes a hit then passes it. The stage lady walks
in.
STAGE LADY
Youre on in 1 minute guys!
She leaves the room. The band looks stoned. One of the
members has a delayed reaction and looks both ways
BAND MEMBER
Who said that?
CUT BACK TO: Daved now has Brian tied up on a giant tree
thats emerging over the rooftop. He is tied with purple
platypus flag strings.
BRIAN
I cant believe you. To betray me.
To go against the punk code like
that!
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

25.

Daved fastens the knot.

DAVED
Oh please Brian. Face it. The
truths morale is in its plate.
Just then they hear a voice on a microphone from down on the
stage.
STAGE LADY
Ok boys and girls, here they are,
the purple platypuses!...purple
platyapai! ......the purple
platypus!
they start jamming and the crowd cheers.
BRIAN
Oh! I love this song!
DAVED
Well thats my cue! Dont feel too
bad Brian, at least you still get
to enjoy the show!
Daved spins his gun around like a cowboy but accidental
opens up the bullet chamber in the process causing all the
bullets fall out and roll down to the ground. Daved shrugs
his shoulders.
DAVED
Oh well. Whatever.
He tosses the gun away, turns, then jumps down the open
skylight window. Brian struggles to break free the ropes but
is unsuccessful.
BRIAN
Traitorr!
INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY
Daved descends from the roof like a warrior.
The Purple Platypus guy still in full costume leaps out of
his chair in kung fu style. The two begin fighting. It is
epic.
CUT TO:

26.

EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY

Brian is still struggling to get out when he hears a band
members voice from on stage.
CUT TO:
EXT. STAGE. DAY
A band member walks over to the mic and the audience cheers.
BAND MEMBER
Thank you. We wrote this next song
about being freed from the ropes
that tie us to a tree. Mainly
because, well, after our first
album was produced, thats what our
manager wanted to do to us! But we
continued to jam!
they start hardcore jamming.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY
Brian fights to break free once more but is still
unsuccessful, but he keeps trying.
lyrics about freeing strings from a tree.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY
Daved is still fighting the purple platypus. They knock over
and break things in their way. They accidentally hit the
wheelbarrow of weed, but before it can spill they both leap
to the ground and save it. Once they both place the barrow
back upright, they brush dust off of themselves, then
continue fighting.
CUT TO:

27.
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY
Brian has finally given up when suddenly the ropes seem to
untie by themselves, as Brian falls to the rooftop. He lands
on his ass. He turns around, then sees it is the orangutan
monkey from earlier that he made fun of
the monkey is played by John Cleese.
MONKEY
You know just because we are
MONKEYS doesnt mean that we arent
INTELLIGENT. Truly great art can
speak to even the lowest form of
primate.
Brian stares blankly at the monkey with a dropped jaw.
CUT TO:
INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY
Daved dishes a punishing blow to the head of the purple
platypus, and he falls to the ground. Daved has won. We see
his shadow cast over the giant wheelbarrow of weed.
CUT TO:
EXT. ROOFTOP. DAY
The monkey pulls out a pack of matches and places them in
Brians hand.
MONKEY
Here, take these. When the time is
right, youll know what to do.
The monkey climbs up the tree and disappears. Brian
continues to stare blankly until he gets a wiff of smoke
that has started reemerging out of the skylight window.
INT. BACKSTAGE ROOM. DAY
We see Daved smoking over by the mirror with his back
turned.
The man in the purple platypus costume crawls out the mouth
of the costume, then creeps up behind Daved. Right before he
can strike, we see him get smashed over the head with
a purple platypus wine bottle. The man falls down revealing
Brian behind him,
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

28.

BRIAN
Im sorry I had to do that to you
you beautiful wine bottle...
Brian grabs Daveds shoulder then turns him around. Daved
has a hugee smile ear to ear with 6 blunts in his mouth
smoking all of them at once. His eyes are completely red and
he looks insanely high. His face is hilarious.
BRIAN
You asshole! You made me miss out
on the opportunity to smoke with
Rennolds!
DAVED
(calmly stoned)
Eyy mann...violence never solved
anything!
BRIAN
What! Why Im so mad I could
just... I could just...
Brian looks at Daved then pulls a single blunt out of
Daveds mouth. Brian takes a huge puff of it, then exhales
it in Daveds face. Daved is in disbelief.
DAVED
You... sick...bastard.
Just then a knock is heard outside the door.
STAGE LADY
Be ready in 5 minute guys!
Daved and Brian immediately start to freak out.
BRIAN
Shit! We gotta hide!
DAVED
Quick, hide the body!
Daved tosses the passed-out guys body to Brian. Brian
catches it.
BRIAN
What? You hide the body!
Brian tosses it back to Daved.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

29.
DAVED
NOO. YOU hide the body. You killed
him!

Daved tosses it back to Brian.

BRIAN
Well YOURE the one who damaged
him!
Brian passes it back to Daved. Daved stops, then points his
finger behind Brian.
DAVED
Hey look, its Rennolds!
BRIAN
What? No it isnt.
DAVED
Ya dude hes right there...with the
freakin...guitar and everything....
BRIAN
Rennolds plays drums. Dickwad.
DAVED
Oh... Really.
Daved throws the body at Brian, causing him to fall on the
floor. Daved wheels the barrow of weed into a nearby closet.
DAVED
So long, square!
He closes the door behind him and locks it. Brian runs up to
the door and tries opening it.
BRIAN
Nooo!! You incredibly selfish piece
of crap!
Smoke emerges out of the keyhole and forms a giant middle
finger. Just then we hear knocking on the front door again.
STAGE LADY
Im coming in there in 1 minute!!
Brian panics then tosses the body behind a couch out of
sight. He looks around, there is nowhere to
hide...except...he spots the purple platypus costume lying
on the floor. We see the lady open the door only to see
Brian now in full disguise wearing the Purple Platypus
costume.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

30.
STAGE LADY
Hurry, we need you on stage, now!
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
On...Stage!

Brians eyes turn to little hearts as he is dragged out of

the room. Once they exit we see the passed out man behind
the couch start to regain consciousness.
EXT. STAGE. DAY
Brian (still in full disguise) gets shoved on stage by the
woman.
STAGE LADY
And now here he is boys and girls,
Purpyyy the Purple Platypus! Here
to perform for you some of his
magic!
The crowd cheers. Brian looks around then spots Rennolds on
the far side of the stage. He runs over to him
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Rennolds, oh my god, Im such a
huge fan youre my idol.
RENNOLDS
Huh?
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
I just want to say, I have all your
albums and records. Your artistic
vision has paved the way for me to
find my own music in the hopes that
someday it will be as good as
yours.
RENNOLDS
Wow. Thanks man... That really
means a lot.
A nearby band member watches this, tears a little, then
pulls out a tissue.
BAND MEMBER
(sniffs)
That was beautiful.
Soon after this happens the crowd begins to boo. Brian in
distaste of the booing turns to the crowd.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

31.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Silence! Why are you all booing
this man! HE is a Genius!

Brian licks him

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
-and a tasty one too!
RENNOLDS
Aye mate, the crowd! Do your magic
for the crowd!
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
What? Fuck the crowd! They dont
know whats good.
silence. (beat)
Just then the crowd boos even harder as a yucky feeling runs
through the crowd.
Brian looks out into the crowd at all the disappointed
children, then turns back at Rennolds.
RENNOLDS
How could you say that mate? These
kids look up to you. Youre their
hero.
Just then Brian feels like poop. He looks out into the
crowd. They are still booing, but this time angry. The kids
yell things at Brian.
RANDOM KID
I knew the purple platypus werent
real artists!
RICH BOY
Sell outs! Boooo!!!
They start throwing random things at the purple platypus.
RANDOM KID
Magic isnt real! Its fake! Just
like the Purple Platypus!
Brian hears this and gets angry.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
NOBODY CALLS THE PURPLE PLATYPUS
FAKE!!! ALRIGHT...THAT DOES IT. YOU
KIDS WANT MAGIC! ILL SHOW YOU
FUCKING MAGIC!!!
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

32.

Brian grabs a guitar then starts humping it furiously

on stage.
The crowd has stopped booing and now has grown completely
silent. They all stare blankly. A single mother covers the
eyes of her young children.
Brian continues humping his guitar, then places it in front
of him on the stage. Brian gets on his knees. He leans over,
kisses the guitar, then pulls out his pack of matches. He
throws a lit match onto the guitar and it catches flame.
The kids all stare bewildered.
Brian waves the smoke up in the air summoning the spirits of
music like Hendrix once did.
The crowd stares at Brian then turns back to Rennolds as
this happens.
Rennolds looks down, pulls out a lit match, then lights his
drums on fire! Soon the rest of the band joins in and they
all light there instruments on fire!
Rennolds leads the band into drumming the song "Purple Haze"
by Hendrix. The whole band joins in.
The children erupt cheering. As they play Fire shoots out of
the instruments and all around the stage. It is epic. Brian
picks up the fiery guitar and begins playing it. He leans in
on the mic and begins singing. his voice echos.
Purple
things
Actin
Scuse

BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)

haze all in my brain! Lately
just dont seem the same!
funny, but I dont know why!
me while I kiss the sky

Fire shoots everywhere, then from Brians guitar shoots a

magical rainbow thing that flies over the children turning
them all into giant dancing flowers. Everything now is
groovin to the music as it was when we first saw the Purple
Platypus. The trees are stoned once again, the grass
bounces back and forth, and the sun is smoking a j. The
whole show gets trippy. Everything is bouncing to the music.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Purple haze all around! Dont know
if Im comin up or down! Am I
happy or in misery? Whatever it is,
that platypus put a spell on me!

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

33.

From the corner of the crowd we see security wearing

earmuffs escorting Daved off the premises. The beat up man
is there, also wearing earmuffs, and points to Brian.
Security goes after him. Daved spots Brian and gives him the
rock on sign! Brian rocks out one last time.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Purple haze all in my eyes! Dont
know if its day or night! Youve
got me blowin, blowin my mind! Is
it tomorrow or just the end of
time?
The guards arrive at the stage. Brian looks out into the
crowd. The crowd is cheering "Purp! Purp! Purp!". This makes
Daved chuckle.
Brian leaps into the crowd escaping the guards. The crowd
catchs him. carries him towards the back of the crowd.
As this happens Brian looks back and gives the rock on sign
to Rennolds. Rennolds tosses a flaming drumstick over the
crowd to Brian and he catches it.
Brian takes one more last looks back at Rennolds and blows a
kiss in the air. We see the kiss float in the air.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
(in a girly voice)
Byee Rennoldsss!!!
Rennolds waves curiously, then goes back to playing. Brian
continues to be pulled to the back and is dropped off at the
entrance gate. Daved is standing outside waiting for him.
Brian gets tossed next to Daved and he brushes himself off.
DAVED
Wow man. That was awesome! And
Rennolds too, that guy is sick!
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Yeah...
Just then Brian spots the fat kid from earlier sobbing alone
in the corner. The Fat kid is in the fetal position with his
head tucked between his legs. Brian looks at the drum stick
in hand then walks over to him.
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Here ya go kid.
Brian hands the fat kid the drumstick.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

34.

FAT KID
Wow. Really? The Purple Platypus
flaming drumstick! Thanks Mr.
Platypus! This really means a lot
to me. I have all your albums and
movies!
BRIAN (PURPLE PLATYPUS)
Dont watch the movies... theyre
terrible. Just always remember, the
music...is in here.
The Platypus points to the kids heart. As he does this the
kid turns into a giant flower. It is extremely corny and
gay.
Brian turns around and walks away. Brian and Daved exit
together.
DAVED
Wow that was really gay. Giving up
Rennolds drumstick? Im proud of
you Brian.
BRIAN
Ya. What can I say? I guess we all
learned something today. Even you!
DAVED
What who, me?
Daved pulls up his two dirty smelly socks which he has
jam-packed full of weed. The socks are dirty and the smell
overrides the weed smell.
DAVED
I got enough bud here to last me
for weeks!
Brian shrugs his shoulders then they walk off into the
sunset.
DAVED
Hey I know, why dont we blaze when
we get back and listen to the
Purple Platypus? Ill smoke you up
my treat.
BRIAN
(hesitantly)
Ehhhhhhhh..........why dont we
give something else a try...

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

35.

DAVED
Aw, cmon!
The boys walk off together as the camera zooms out to an
over-the-shoulder shot of the orangutan monkey. We see the
monkey sitting up on a tree branch watching them walk off in
the distance. Just then the rooster (with the briefcase)
from earlier flies over and lands on the same branch next to
the monkey.
ROOSTER
You think they suspect anything?
MONKEY
Not a thing.
END