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An individuals identity is shaped by the way they perceive their
connections with others and the world around them.
How is this view represented in your prescribed text and ONE other
related text of your own choosing?

Through studying the concept of belonging, one is able to gain a greater understanding of
people and the world around them, resulting in a realisation of their own individual identity.
Each text displays the existence of belonging in helping nurture confidence and self-esteem
and contrastingly not belonging in creating disparity and alienation. In particular, Raimond
Gaitas 1998 biographical memoir, Romulus, My Father, explores the importance of an
individual gaining identity and inclusion in a new world through a connection to family and
societal culture. This notion is similarly displayed in the 1997 epic romantic disaster film,
Titanic, directed by James Cameron. The film highlights that by building relations and having
a sense of personal pride, an individual is more able to belong in a world segregated by social
status. Further, Justin Timberlakes 2006 song, Losing My Way, from the album Future
Sex/Love Sounds displays how insecurity can derive from being excluded from a place that in
the past had provided companionship and security. Ultimately, through a variety of complex
and varying ideas composers are able to highlight that a sense of belonging develops an
individuals sense identity and in turn allows them to better understand themselves, people
and the world around them.

The memoir, Romulus, My Father, explores the complexity of belonging through an

individuals inability to connect with new cultural surroundings. Giata uses the
characterisation of his mother, Christine to convey the conflicting attitudes towards the
Australian landscape that highlight her barriers. A troubled city girl from Central Europe,
she could not settle in a dilapidated farmhouse in a landscape that highlighted her isolation.
Gaita utilises the symbolism of the farmhouse to portray the deep lying sense of alienation
and isolation in which Christine often associated with the baron Australian landscape. The
theme of the landscape plays a vital role in the notion of conforming to a new world, one in

Comment [HUB1]: Good thesis, an

exploration of both belonging and not
belonging in addition to the reference to
identity is crucial for a high range
response.

Comment [HUB2]: I would rethink the use

of this related text. Whilst it may work
conceptually I question whether you can
derive enough sophisticated analysis and
technique necessary for a high range
response. Maybe go for something with a
little more substance.
Comment [HUB3]: There is a bit of
confusion here. Your original thesis states
that an understanding of your world results
in the establishment of identity. But at the
end here you say that identity allows a
better understanding of the world. So just
be clear as to which approach you are going
for.

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which the dilapidated structure juxtaposes the green European foliage that Christine and
Romulus longed for highlighting the complex issue of disconnection from the rest of society.
Contrastingly, individuals who are able to emulate the values of the society around them
achieve belonging innately as the idea of communal membership overpowers individual
vulnerability. A sense of connection is established through the artificial family relationship
that exists between Romulus, Hora and Mitru. This relationship highlights the ability for one
to create a family like relationship with another that is formed on the mutual basis of
culture, common values and self-morals. Raimonds ability to allow Hora to take on the role
of a father figure is shown explicitly in the scene where he first learns to swim. It was
important for me to learn to swim because Hora was a keen swimmer, as well as in the
line my love for Hora and for my father caused confused emotions in me towards either.
This desire to impress Hora shows that Raimond sees his opinion of the same importance as
his farther, highlighting that profound sense of a family-like relationship.

The film Titanic goes on to highlight that the segmenting nature of social class can diminish
the chances of establishing connections. Cameron utilizes contrast between first class
passenger Rose Bukateer and steerage Jack Dawson to emphasise the class distinction
preventing the establishment of their love affair. However, the triumph of their union
highlights that belonging to a social class does not determine identity, but rather a devotion
and empathetic connection with those around you challenges social perceptions. The
overboard scene shows that social expectation of a group and pressures for equality and
conformity can cause segregation. The composer explores this idea through in the scene
where the lower class passengers are caged in, allow the higher-class passengers to escape
first. Cameron utilises the chaotic scene to amplify the inability for classist assimilation. The
use of dialogue between Ruth, Cal and Rose displays Roses ability to transcend both social
classes and empathise with Jacks position. Will the life boats be seated according to class?
Oh mother, shut up!...Half the people on this ship are going to die. Not the better half.
The long shot of the two characters in the final scenes shows that class does not provide for
happiness and personal pride and that despite social classes the main characters find a sense
of belonging in their own individual relationship and the common human plight to deal with
tragedy and survive.
Furthermore, as Titanic explores the ability of individuals to overcome segregation to belong,
Justin Timberlakes 2006 song losing my way similarly highlights that communal
membership overpowers individual vulnerability. Timberlake employs the use of lyrical
flashback to relate Bobs present state to his past in order to find a sense of pride and
belonging to make living in a chaotic world much easier.
Timberlake uses first person to create emotion and empathy and to show the negative
connotations of being excluded from a place that in the past had provided security. The
impact of abandonment is obvious through Bobs nervous speech, um Yeh... Um... Excuse
me. The use of lento speech allows Timberlake to convey the displaced emotions that
rejection has had on his understanding of the world, as the past that had recognised him as the
man of my hometown suddenly forced him to lose his way, resulting in emotional
turmoil.

Comment [HUB4]: You might want to

throw in the part here about how Raimond
actually likes the Australian landscape,
highlighting his ability to belong, and
contrast that with his parents. This would
build on your landscape point.

Comment [HUB5]: Need a good

technique/example of the sense of
connection from this relationship.
Something stronger than what is here. I feel
like this point is a good one, although it
needs a good textual reference to
accompany the point.
Comment [HUB6]: Not sure whether this
is the best quote to be using here. I
understand how it is relevant although I
think there is probably a better
representation of this relationship within
the memoir. Consider revising.
Comment [HUB7]: Stronger linking
sentence needed between these two points.

Comment [HUB8]: Need a stronger linking

sentence to your overarching thesis
statement to tie this in.
Comment [HUB9]: I joined your two
paragraphs here. It makes more sense to
have them as one unified point and it makes
your structure clearer to the marker.

Comment [HUB10]: Need a stronger

linking sentence to your main thesis here.

Comment [HUB11]: Good linking sentence

here, this should be carried through the
other topics sentences of your response.

Comment [HUB12]: These paragraphs are

too small and make your essay look uneven.
They also ruin the flow. You want to show
the marker that you are giving equal
weight/importance to all points and so I
would join these two paragraphs.
Comment [HUB13]: This point is good in
isolation but it does not draw back to the
main thesis of the essay and thus it makes it
sound off the point.

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Timberlake uses the characterisation of Bob to emphasize that the personal code of right and
wrong makes people challenge the status quo, withdrawing from society on moral grounds.
He expresses that belonging and connection to people creates a sense of self-esteem that
motivates us to be a better individual as not belonging forces dreams to fall down.
However, Timberlake expresses that in order to be living the life, one must first belong to a
community and it is this journey of assimilation that allows the establishment of identity.
Ultimately, Timberlake sets Bob as the focal point to show both the positives and negatives of
belonging.
Belonging includes the fundamentals of security, confidence and harmony that allow one to
be more productive in achieving their goals. However, it involves the dilemma of stigmatising
and rebelliousness, highlighting the complexities of belonging.

Mark (out of 15): 12

Feedback:
This is a good essay, however there a few key issues that need to be
addressed. Specifically, whilst your opening thesis is good, it is not carried
through the essay sufficiently. Often your paragraphs end without a clear
linking sentence addressing both your thesis and your approach to the
question. It is these elements that will push you into the A-range for your
response. At the moment it reads like a few random points without any unity.
That is the major issue, but on a more structural level, be careful about the
lengths of your paragraphs and try and make them more consistent. You want
to be giving the same amount of attention to each point. I would also
question the song as a related text, whilst it works well Im not sure it provides
the depth of analysis and technical sophistication that is ideal for a higher
range response. You might consider finding something else. Solid foundation
though just needs a little more work.

Comment [HUB14]: What about the

characterization of Bob achieves this? You
can't just throw in a technique without
saying which elements of his personal code
reflects the challenging of the status quo.
Give me more detail of the technique use
here.

Comment [HUB15]: You should draw a

stronger link back to your original thesis of
establishing an identity, which generates a
greater understanding of people around
you. There needs to be a more explicit
answer to the question here and perhaps a
short reflection of how the texts
demonstrate the issues in the question.