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Keep Calm and Hashtag - RB
Keep Calm and Hashtag - RB
Scene 1
The stage opens with a chair kept Downstage Left . Next to it, on the left
there are a pair of golden stilettos and a shoebox. The perfomers stand in
a horizontal line Upstage.
SFX: Theme Song
Public Space Chorus
Google Search chorus
Tanvee: Open new window. Www.google.com- ENTER. How to travel in
local train without getting killed- ENTER.
Neha: Open new window. Www.google.com- ENTER. How to scare away
eve teasers on the roads. Enter
Vikrant: Open new window. How to be a real man-ENTER.
Ajitesh: Open new window. Best flowers to give to a girl. ENTER.
Tanvee: Tanvee: Scroll down. Www.wikipedia.org. Click scroll down Back.
Backspace (3)The mumbai suburban railway covers over 465km, running over
2000 (neha overlaps) trains, carrying 7.5 million daily. BACK.
Neha: Scroll down. Youtube video. Click. 10 gaalis in hindi to scare away
eve teasers. Click (Vikrant overlaps) Play video. Buffering.
Vikrant: Scroll down. 10 traits to keep in mind on your way to manhood.
How to be a real man- with pictures. Real man academy - learn how to be
a real man for just 42,000 rupees. (Ajitesh overlaps)
Ajitesh: Scroll down. Guy's guide to giving flowers. CLICK. Open new
window. Consumer research shows that 92% of women like receiving
flowers, 89% women said flowers makes them feel special. If the way to a
mans heart is through his stomach, then the pathway to a womans heart
(Tanvee overlaps) is through her nose,
Tanvee: New search: Lonely planet guide to mumbai suburban railway.
ENTER. Scroll down. Www.lonelyplanet.com. Click. Riding the rails like a
mumbaikar. Scroll down. Do not travel in southbound trains between 7am
and 11am. And do not travel in northbound trains between 4pm and 8pm.
Start edging towards the door 2 stations before your destination. If you
don't get a seat, strike a deal with the lady sitting next to you.
Neha: First gaali. Madarchod. Repeat. Madarchod. Second gaali.
Behenchod. Repeat. Behenchod.Third gaali Haraamzade. Repeat.
Haraamzade. Fourth gaali: Chutiya. Repeat. Chutiya. Fifth gaali.
Bhosadike. Repeat. Bhosadi ke.
Vikrant: Open new window. How to get muscles. Backspace. Perfect
muscles.
Muscle-Building Strategy for a V-Shaped Torso | Men's Health
Get Crushed: Lean and Ripped with the Perfect 10
Your Perfect Muscle-Building Day
How to Go From Skinny to Muscular in 7 Steps
Think thin
Women like butts too
Ajitesh: Are Roses the best flowers to give to a girl. Switch tab. Backspace
backspace backspace.
Gifts made from rose essence. ENTER. Number One. Rose jam. Two. Rose
perfume. Three. Rose herbal tea. Four. Rose glycerine soap.
Chorus exits.
Five.Rose wine
Chorus : Close Window
Close Window
SFX: Cut Theme Song
The next day in school I looked for her everywhere classroom, playground,
staffroom, girls water tank, toilets. But I couldnt find her anywhere. And
just when I had lost all hope
Tanya enters
I saw her.
Sachin Repeats to himself, pumping himself up : Make eye contact. Be
funny
Sachin : Hi Tanya. I am Sachin. We are in the same class?
Tanya : New boy?
Sachin : yes yes new boy. I just came from St Fidlis International School
Tanya: You have doubt?
Sachin : No no doubt . Im a good student. You know Tanya in my last school, I
used to be this really funny guy and I was really popular. Even the senior
teachers knew me. I used to make everyone laugh. But people dont know me
here so they dont know what a funny guy I am. I am really a very funny guy.
FIGHT
My heart was already broken, now my bones were also broken. But most
of all my self-respect was shattered. How the hell am I to face the world??
I had been beaten up that too over a girl who never wanted to see my
face again. How embarrassing yaar. But most of all I didnt know how to
face my father, he would be ashamed of me!
Father Enters
Father : See Beta! When we were young we were the protectors of the
whole colony.. If anyone needed help, they came to us and we would sort
it out.. Nobody could mess with us..We never went to our parents to
complain or ask for help. We fought our own battles.
Father Exits
I knew I had to fight back.. If I didntt everyone would think that I am a
coward and call me a sissy.. But there was one problem I was scared of
fights. I am a peace loving kind of guy you know Gandhi types?! Also I
wasnt muscular and I had no Gunda friends.
So I googled . www.google.com ENTER How to knock someone out
without killing them ENTER. Scroll down. And then I saw a link to a
video where I am being thrashed by those guys! 6722 views! What the
____!.
The video had gone viral ! Everyone had seen it . There was no turning
back. I had to prove myself. But what could I do?
So I learned some moves on youtube and made some calls and 3 of my
loyal friends came with me.
Boys Enter
The four of us took our belts and cycle-chains went looking for this boy
called Pankaj. I saw Pankaj alone. Perfect! But I felt scared. I had never
done this before, I didnt know how to fight.Actually I didnt want to fight.
But now I had these three boys with me and it was too late to back out.
Advertisement : Mardana Jacket
I saw Pankaj alone. Perfect! But I felt scared. I had never done this before,
I didnt know how to fight.Actually I didnt want to fight. But now I had
these three boys with me and it was too late to back out.
Boy: Sachin! ( hands him the jacket)
Sachin wears the jacket.
So I took off my belt and started beating him. With the first lash of the
belt, I felt my blood boil and this rage came into me that I had never felt
before. We beat him really hard and broke his bones.. I was so angry that
if I had a stone, I would have smashed his head with it.
Boys Exit
Sachin hangs the jacket back on the chair
Even today I dont know whether it was Pankaj who had come to beat me
up. But at that time it was so important for me to let everyone know that
they couldnt mess with me.
Beat
Next day when I went to school, I heard Tanya
Tanya enters sits Center Stage.
had been moved to another school because of that video. That was the
end of my short love story. I never saw her again.
Sachin turns around facing Upsatge.
Construction of Femininity
V: I am a seventeen year old girl who is horrified that someone in her class
hasnt worn kajal.
N: I am a seventeen year old girl who has just been slapped by her
boyfriend for talking to other boys in class.
A: I am a seventeen year old girl having sex with her boyfriend to prove
her love.
N: I am a seventeen year old girl looking at the perfect girl in her class
with jealousy.
V: I am a seventeen year old girl who wants to rip off her fat cheeks.
A: I am the older brother demanding an explanation for her coming home
late
N: I am her mother looking at matrimonial ads, searching for the perfect
husband for her daughter
10
V: I am the older sister who has been told that she is too dark to get
married.
A: I am the high heel shoes that she is about to slip into
V: I am the cellphone that she uses to take a selfie every half an hour
N: I am the size zero dress that she will never fit into
N: I am the tube of fairness cream that she uses every day
A: I am the jar of hair removal cream for the sexiest legs in the world.
V: I am the thinnest sanitary napkin available so that no one knows she
has her period.
A: I am the chair on which she sits for her monthly full body wax
N: I am the blue contact lenses that make her look like a foreigner
A: I am the vagina fairness cream that is her secret weapon
V: I am her face covered with every beauty product on the market
Tanvee wears the stilettos and walks across stage. As she comes back
DSL, the chorus gets up .
Chorus: Open New Window
Play Video
SFX: Porn Music
Tanvee strikes poses as the chorus does porn tutting.
SFX: Porn Music Cut
Chorus goes into Letching Sequence as Tanvee walks across (6 times)
.She Yells after the 6th walk .
If every woman woke up tomorrow feeling good about her body then the
bottom would fall out of the economies of the world. Because a lot of
contemporary capitalism, a lot of products that we buy and a lot of
consumerism is focused on making women sexually submissive, socially
submissive, economically submissive, and theyre all part of the same
web.
Ajitesh and Vikrant run back and exit. Tanvee throws away the stilettos
and exits.
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DHRUV: You tell me!!! What the hell is this facebook status about. Ill
remember last night forever. Thanks Nikhil?
ADITI I dont understand I havent even checked my facebook in 4
hours..
DHRUV Dont lie to me, I always knew there was something cooking
between you 2.Just admit it. You slept with him.
ADITI What? Who told you all this?
DHRUV You did.. Its on your facebook page. The whole world knows
about it by now..
ADITI Dhruv, I have no idea what you are talking about, let me check my
facebook page..
DHRUV Do You know what you have done to my reputation. Do you know
who I am? I am the school prefect The whole world is laughing at me
right now!! Who do you think you are? You want play with me? You want to
play with my life??!!
ADITI - What the hell Dhruv! Just Shut up!
DHRUV- No you shutup!
ADITI Dhruv I love you
DHRUV Then prove it
ADITI Let me go..
DHRUV No kiss me Kiss me if you love me..
ADITI Dhruv, just let me go...
DHRUV You know what , I am going to kill that Nikhil and I am going to
make your life hell.
Aditi goes back to her computer.
ADITI:
www.facebook.com
Username: aditi123@gmail.com
password: twinkletwinklelittlestar
Invalid password
twinkletwinklelittlestar
Invalid password
Forgot Password
Switch Tabs
www.Gmail.com
18
Retrieve password
Switch tabs
www.Facebook.com
57 notifications
Click
Scroll Down
Ill remember last night forever. Thanks Nikhil. 65 comments?
SFX : Shaming Song
Aditi walks DownStage in the centre .
COMMENTS: as Aditi walks in...
Soundtrack
- OMG
- 2 boys huh? Does Dhruv know?
- What a slut!
- Hey babe, My place tonight?
Delete Status
SFX: Shaming Song cut
New messsage to Nikhil: What the hell is this about?
Nikhil: Hey I had no idea you felt this way.
Aditi: Do you have anything to do with this?
Nikhil: No way. You think I'd do something so crazy? But listen, if you want,
we can totally make this work.
Tanvee takes a Breath
ADITI: New message to SIA XYZ. Hi Sia, I need some help. I need you to
hack into two accounts
Sia: Sure, darling I am always ready to help! Wink. Enter.
19
Yeah.
I never really thought I was fat until I was 14 and sitting at the window
seat in the school bus. Someone from the street called out, Eh motu! I
looked around, thinking it was meant for someone else, but I was the only
person there. I went home that day and looked at myself in the mirror. I
looked at my curves, which I still have. And my man boobs which were
starting to form. I tried to straighten them to see what I would look like
without them. It was around this time that I stopped playing football. I
played as left back and I was really good. But the thought of changing
with all the other boys made me really uncomfortable. I began to think
that every boy who was skinnier than me somehow had a better life. They
were happier, richer, more popular and way better at academics. I felt like
a nobody. And even though my life is so different now and I should be
completely over all of this, I can't help feeling that if I was skinny for just
one more year, everything would be ok.
20
Game
Instructions
Help
Quit
Burqa
21
3. Select Footwear
chappals
sneakers
stillettos
VIKRANT: Sneakers
TANVEE: Sneakers selected.
4. Select any 2 weapons
Kitchen
Knife
Belan
Pepperspray
22
Seduction
Aggression
VIKRANT: Aggression
T: Aggression selected. Slap deployed
Vikrant tries to slap A but misses. Ajitesh crosses on the left of Vikrant,
grabs his bum.
T: Power reduced by 20%.
2. Aunties
Threat Detected
A and N enter as old aunties.
A: Out so late.
N: Must be a prostitute.
A and N laugh. Repeat once.
T: : Options Available:
Manipulation
Seduction
Aggression
VIKRANT: Aggression
T: Aggression selected. Pepperspray deployed
Vikrant sprays on A and N. We turn and freeze. They walk off
350 points gained
Vikrant does a dance
3. Eve- teasers
23
T: Threat detected
Ajitesh and Neha enter from stage right,
Ajitesh: Puch puch, <cigarette puff>.
Neha: So hot, <crotch scratch>.
T: Options Available:
Manipulation
Seduction
Aggression
VIKRANT: Manipulation
TANVEE: Manipulation Selected
VIKRANT: Bhaiya! chor do Please!
Ajitesh kisses Vikrant and Neha grabs Vikrants boobs
Power reduced by 40%.
TANVEE: Go to Liquor shop to regain power.
4. Liquor Shop
T: Approaching liquor shop
Threat Detected
VIKRANT: 1 Litre of Vodka please.
AJITESH: We dont serve vodka to girls!
TANVEE: Options Available:
Manipulation
Seduction
Aggression
VIKRANT: Seduction
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VIKRANT: Manipulation
TANVEE: Manipulation Selected.
N: Who are you?
V: I am just a girl.
A: Its nine pm
V: I had to get sanitary pads.
N: And what about these short vulgar clothes?
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Neha Story: One night at 2 am, 4 of us girls were loitering on as relatively
lonely road in Bombay. Suddenly , a cop on a motorcycle stopped us and started
shouting at us. What are you girls doing here at this hour, you should be at
home. Can't you see there is a car full of boys following you? So I asked him," Are
we doing something wrong or are they? " " Obviously them " he said. " so why
not stop them instead of us ?" He said , " if something happens you girls will
come running to the police station . I asked him " how can the streets be made
safe for women ?" He thought for a while and said " if more and more girls come
out on the street then it will become safe for everybody. And I said that's exactly
what we are doing!
Vikrant steps in
V: Open new window
www.google.com
Does playing a female character make me a sissy?
T: www.google.com How to be a powerful woman even if you are not a
beauty queen.
N: When do we first realise that we are boys and girls
A: How to be non-violent and masculine at the same time.
V: Scroll down. Strong female characters in videogames.(Tanvee cuts in)
There is no difference between men and women
Are male and female the only 2 genders i can choose from?
T: Top 10 powerfull professions for women. 1. Politician 2. Boxer 3.
Scientist
N: www.wikipedia.org scroll down
A: Scroll Down. About Gandhi.org
V: Are male and female the only 2 genders i can choose from? Gender is
fluid. Male and female qualities exist in everyone
T: Back. Back space back space.
N: Gender socialisation begins right from the time we are born. Gender
socialisation is the introduction of gender norms and building a gender
identity to the male and female members of scociety. Gender norms are a
set of rules that define the appropriate behaviour a man and woman
should follow in a given context. Gender identity is the internalisation of
gender norms where one starts looking at ones self in the frame of
gender. Gender identities are very strong and govern almost all our social
interactions in private and public spaces.
27
A: Mahatma Gandhi, the man responsible for Indias freedom was a firm
believer of non-violence or Ahimsa. He was definitely one of the bravest
men in the history of time. Close Window. Open new window.
www.youtube.com. The google song. Play video. Sings I google You.
V: Men can be feminists too. If I'm a man and a feminist, does that make
me a pussy? Emma Watson video. Play video. We invite men to be join us.
Men are integral to this cause. Men, I would like to take this opportunity to
extend your formal invitation. Gender equality is your issue, too. Because
to date, Ive seen my fathers role as a parent being valued less by
society, despite my need of his presence as a child, as much as my
mothers. Ive seen young men suffering from mental illness, unable to
ask for help for fear it would make them less of a man.
T: Is it more important to be unique or accepted? Every one should be
acepted as unique. I should care less if the person standing next to me is
a cross-dressing, transgender, bisexual. Back. Are men sensitive? Fathers
Day 2014. Click. Sudies show that men are more sensitive than women
but are better at hiding it. Back. 16 habits of highly sensitive people. Back.
Ajitesh: Stop Video
All: Close all tabs.
Overture music plays and the actors leave
END