April 3rd 2012 12:20 AM

"What Am I reading?"
Of all the questions I pose and seek to anwser in this doccument, that question
is by far the simplest. This is a collection of pure, *unedited* thoughts, and m
usings written by Luke E. MacIntosh. I debated even putting a name on this for a
long time. But In reality what bloody differnce does it make. You would no more
know Luke MacIntosh from Jerald P. Tallwacker, or any one else for that matter.
So Im, ( and we are all) , still anynomous in a sense. [ Even celebrities will
eventually become anynomous to the distant generations, but ideas have a tenacit
y for selfpreservance far beyond any mortal]
I don't like long prefaces, and even this is too long for my taste, so sorry. Bu
t I will warn you. No topic is really taboo to me, and most of this is written w
hile "intoxicated". This draws on the only experience anyone can draw on, their
own life. Thus while I have tried to keep it about general ideas/concepts you wi
ll see it struggle as it tries to seprate thoughts from the man behind them.
All the entries in this doccument are made in one go (except where explictitly s
tated otherwise and they are rare.) So Grammar Nazi's may want to give this a mi
ss, OR jump ahead to the post on what I think communication is really all about.
Also I like brakcets ... (a lot). I will (while living) always provide a copy of
this doccument free in some from or other online or otherwise. However if I cou
ld be so bold as to ask for something in exchange for giving you these hard earn
ed (and belive me there is much of my own pain and strife in these entries) Then
I would ask that if you enjoy, or find this doccument useful in part or in whol
e, just pass along a copy to a friend. (Or even better write your own "Philosoph
y of everything!")
But most of all. I would ask you to: "QUESTION EVERYTHING!" That is my life's mo
tto, and I firmly believe if it was wider adopted it would make the world a bett
er place. There is NO way following this motto can ever hurt you* (* beyond the
old ignorance is bliss argument)
With all this said. Enjoy, and I hope you can find a bit of your self in here, a
nd if you see a bit of somone else you know within this, share this with them to
o.
-Luke

"Why do people commit crimes?"

jan 20th 3:03 am 2009
Why do you ask questions? Because you want something. They wanted something too.
Wither it was to kill a person, or steal something, or rape someone.
All these things happened because they wanted something that some one else had.
Be it their life their possessions, whatever.
You could arguable boil crime down to unheeded wants that get confused as needs
and people then work to achieve those newly dubbed needs the fastest way possibl
e. Usually resulting in the breaking of one or more of society's laws in the pro
cess.
In a way we all have a criminal mentality.

The difference is we choose to work towards our goals within the systems in plac
e by a society driven by consumer wants and needs. (Which ironically are the dri
ving force behind most theft) people being told by media, and what not that they
NEED this or that in order to be happy.

"Why are dreams dieing?"

July 26th 10:10 Pm 2009
As we mature as a race I find that our creativity dwindles. It is indeed a sad t
ime. It seems the greater our ablity to create the less we employ it.
All around are tools never dreamed of by people of days gone by. What could they
do with these tools. and then you must ask would the great masters of days gone
by have been crippled by the power we now posses.
The more accurate our tools become the less liable we are to make happy mistakes
. The less our mistakes define us. As we stand today upon the brink of distructi
on of our own doing, caused by pollution and soon war, we cease to understand th
at it was our mistakes that brought us here and it will be in our mistakes that
we find salvation.
I wake from dreams with a bitter taste in my mouth, because Im now painfully awa
re that those dreams are no more reality then we make them and my current inabli
ty to bring them to reality is torturous.
Why can we all see the problems, yet feel an illusion of powerlessnesss to stop
them or fix them.
The ultimate problem is that we see the problems made by the whole world as one
unit. And we alone are each powerless to fix the one unit. However if we break t
hings down to a scale on which we are each reasponsible we can succeed.
Don't stop believeing. At least until we find a way to reward our beliefs.

"Why is sadness always more common then happiness?"

july 27 1:18 am 2009
Sadness is more common then happiness because happiness is fragile. Happiness mu
st be worked for,and found, while sadness simply exists if you have but to look.
The same goes for creation and distruction. It is much harder to create things
then it is to destroy them.
Sadness grows like a weed all around us. it is omnipresent in that there are alw
ays more weeds then flowers.
Even in the greatest garden there will always be some weeds. The key was always
that weeds with their plain looks blended in while the flowers stood out and cau
ght our attention. Though it seems of late we have grown colorblind, and now the
weeds are noticeable only due to their number.
Weeds breed weeds, and so long as we focus on them and do nothing to remove them
our gardens shall become further and further infested with weeds until they obs
cure all else.

If you pick weeds and then throw the remains back into the garden to compost it
will enrich the soil and the flowers shall grow and bloom many times greater the
n before, and so it stands that the people with the most properly taken care of
weeds have the best gardens.
For it seems only though great sadness can true happiness be found.
"We all live in cages, but a lucky few get to touch the bars."
wednesday august 5th 2009 9:39 am
"People were born to hate, Just as hate was born of people."
May 5th 2006
"What is the the human response to the unknown?"
May 5th 2006
That which we do not understand we fear, that which we fear we attempt to contro
l, that which we cannot control we attempt to distroy, that which we attempt to
distroy and fail, destroys us...
"The Law of Human Nature" (could be considered an edit of the above information)
That which we do not understand, we seek to control. That which we cannot contro
l, we fear. That which we fear, we (attempt to) destroy. That which we (attempt
to) destroy, is our selves...
January 30th 2008 Luke Ericson MacIntosh.

Exact date unkown 2008-2009 (drunken rambling made of solid gold)

"data is our end."
As I write this my computer is going out of date. Soon I shall scrap this and ge
t the newest fastest model and kick all your asses at halo 7. but in the mean ti
me a funny thing is ahppening. I am creating, and much like many of the artist w
ho were unappreciated during their life times I will squrell this away somewhere
where I can keep it until I die.
Then unbenounst to me some tanlent searcher will find it and I will be the next
shakesphere only there is one problem . I scrapped the computer with this on it.
I deemed the file unimportant enough that it needent survive the move. And my h
ardrive was discrotyed. Now funny thign ab9ot all these great writes. We found t
hem and dubbedc them great beacasewe went looking. We're always looking behind u
s to save our selves from the errors fo the past. But what about the present? W
hat about the error were making as I write and you read. Negligence. I don't kno
w whats going to be important 50 years form now. And why should I no one should
be charged with such a responsibility I would think that person would go mad.
But the point is this. According to the world right now greatness is is the past
and the future. But now were just waiting. Until someone finds the gem of the p
ast ro the perl of the future. So what do we do in between . WE create to kill t
ime to waste time to find time. And were looking everywhere but where it counts.
I should like to be remembered for something. Not because I want to be immortal
(but then again in a way who doesn't) but rather because it strikes my fancy at
this particular moment in time.
I was provoked to wirting this by watching a great work of fiction of the past.
And realized that so many such works are being made right now and they are leavi
ng behind no trace fo their existence. People delete things everyday. And the tr
ouble with that is once deleted no small child can wander by pick up your bit of
rubbish and be inspired. No they need to wade though the enormous space that is
the internet. Which is occupied solely by the content which we being all knowin

g and wise deem is what is needed to be preserved. We keep the gold and throw aw
ay the tin and copper. The trouble is the new world might need bronze. And when
that day come I hope not to be the one that says I told ya so.
But just in case I told ya so! Again surely this is not orignal thought. But I bet
someone else thought of this and worte it down only later to say. Well that mad
e sense at the time but who give a dam about that stuff anyway. It was just a cr
azy idea. And he hits delete and plugs in the latest hardware so he can get the
new word editor that writes cookie cutter thesis for you and posts them on his b
log 50 times a day for the next year and.... (well really it can go any directio
n at this point) and who am I to say how it goes. Who are you to say how it will
end?
Everything is precious.
Even you.
Keep on keeping.
The Taunting Artist
By: Luke MacIntosh (2008)
Inside my head there is an artist, and he is slowly driving me insane.
At first I would only see him from time to time, year to year.
But now He refuses to leave, he is there all the time everyday.
However I cannot reach him through the thick impasse that is my mind.
All the same I can see him clear as day, and He taunts me with what I could be,
What I could do, what I could create. I then try and fail to make thought real,
and the more I try the worse I feel. I fail, then flop, then fail some more. Its
becoming
more then I can endure. I can see what I want to make, hear what I want to play,
and feel
what I want the piece to convey. Nothing. Nothing happens, or rather what is
produced is like a cheap imitation and in some cases even less then that.
Its like trying to talk with 10 words or draw using erasers on a blank page.
And all the while He is there taunting me. Encouraging me with false promises, a
nd
empty praise. What I would do to just once bring His creations to this plane.
Instead I am here. Me. That's all there is is this disconnected person, parading
about like
artist. While all the while he is suffering because He knows that he is capable
of more.
Why must the gap between my mind and my hand be so great. I feel as though I
am on stage and doing nothing. But all the people clap when I want them to cry.
They scream when I want them to laugh, And I cry regardless. I cry for reality,
for vision
for talent. Perhaps He is only a figment of my imagination.
Maybe figment and reality really are incompatible.
Maybe I should just stop?
Maybe He should just live in my head, and be quiet about it.
Maybe I should tell myself a little white lie, to make it easier.
Or maybe, just maybe, this will all pay off someday.
All the struggle, failure, and pain will build up and fill the gap that separate
s me from Him.
Or maybe I am already on the other side, and this is all there is.
I am.
He is.
We are,
Separate...

An after thought.(2008)
Why does a certain response provoke a reponse of a smilar nature both in the par
ticipant and the viewer. Even if the viewer is only feeling the desire to respon
d is that not enough. Why must blue invoke a more different blue, when there is
no need for a more different blue, or any blue at all. Singularity is not a rea
lity, this thought echoes, I can hear it. But from what is the echo created. I k
now. But the cause of the echo is beyond my sight, but still dispite its ether r
eal appearance Its effects are felt with solidity.
Why is a state the mode of scilence. Why is scilence not considered a state. For
scilence is what , if not a state of matter. The amazing thing is , the origina
l content is forgotten. Unimportant irrelivant. We only hear the echo. Were neve
r closer to the scource then a 2nd prespective. For even when we communicate to
our selfs we speak. Be it in our head or aloud. Force of habit? Why communicate
to our selves what we already know. Force of habit. We don't live fro our selves
we live for others .
But if everyone is living for everyone else. Then what happens when one of us di
es. Because if that person is living for someone else then who is the one that r
eally died? Was it me? Or was it no one. Did there simply, end? And if so of wha
t? We live to begin but never cease to finish. Year upon year month upon month d
ay upon day seccond upon seccond, we end. Some are reccorded orthers simply ceas
e to exist. There is a momentary wake left by their presence but it shortly diss
ipates and all that they have accomplished al they have gained is ended.finished
.
The problem is the enwser. STOP. Stop living for by living you live for someone
other then your self. Insetead simply exist. Therin you find the scource of all
happyness. For when you exist no one can take that away form you. If your read t
his if your thinking thins if your a light year away. You exist. Nothing is more
impoartant more influnctional then that fact. So carry on dancing without movei
ng, sing, with scilent lips and smile for the only person who matters. Who ever
yo choose that to be. For a smile is too great a thing to give away in exchange
for formality. To smile simply because there is another being that you have deem
ed greater then your self who has done nothing to deserve that great gift which
you have given them in exchange for nothing. Instead smile for you self. And let
them watch. Should they realize that your are smileing for your self, and shoul
d they be so delited by their discovery that they smile uncontroablally then so
be it. And let that smile spread across the world and back again when you need i
t most. Therin lies the secret we smile in more ways then one. What is to me a h
and shakecould be to you a kiss. What you may deem irrelivant may prove to stave
off my end a few more delightful minuites. A treasure trove awates you. You beg
in by rediscovering what you already have . Then you move on to what was always
there but you deem it too simple and unimportant to be realivant. Stop. And simp
ly exist. Tin cans are great at it. And nothing can compare with the tin can for
the tin can has its own religion, it has it own morals, it has its own existenc
e, and all of which are better then any of yours. If you let it be. When faced w
ith an adversary it sits. When moved by the winds of change still it sits. When
it is crushed still it sits. In the end it finds an end. When we are faced by an
advarsay we fight, when the winds of change move aginst us we risist, and when
we're crushed we die. Despite how much discomfort we caused our self our end is
found. But unlike the can we Discover our end as if it was totally unexpected ,
under a bunch fo leavers that the winds suddenly takes way from the plaque dicta
ting John Doe too early -- too soon. And all the way there throught that journy
to think that we could have sat. we could have sat through the wind and the enme
ys and the end we couldhave ast and enjoyed it like a film but for once we woul
d have been the actors. Ah to be an actor, to live a life that was never yours t
o start with to walk a path differnet then your own and then when the show is ov
er they dedcide to be them selves. Aa little late if you ask me. It has been sai
d the the best actors take on parts that mimick their own lives or they change t
heir lives to match their parts. If only we could learn from these great actors
and someday be able to play our own part. The part we were given from day 1. The

hardest part of all. Then maybe just maybe we could sit the whole dam thing thr
ough until the end. And die laughing all the way.
September 29th 2009 11:36PM
"Commitment...and your lap...and education..."
Commitment and your lap are indeed very similar (at least in the mental sense) b
oth seem to be there when your sitting down, and dissipear when you stand to do
your task. I personally can force my self to do just about anything physically b
ecause it excites me to surpass my limits. (This is applicable only when I am in
fact already doing the thing) By that I mean that the inititave to "JUST DO IT!
" as nike so expertly put it.
If we humans just did all the things they get the sparddic impluse to do the wor
ld would be a much better place OVER ALL! The last part is especially important
beacause just as you can have good you have "evil" and bad so obviously there ar
e some negative impulese that should not be acted upon however I am assuming tha
t these principals be applied to someone with a good moral standing. (what is go
od moral standing?).
Does it mean that you obay the laws and live a quiet life with please and thanky
ous ? Who is to be the judge and why do we need one? morals however are not the
focus of this rant. The problem is there are millions of good ideas out there an
d the people hide them and save them, all the while they collect dust upon a she
lf they waste the only time they have to impliment them. As I write this I shoul
d be studing... as I made a comment to my self to do only a few days ago.
however I conned my self with the drug called "later" no word is to be held in m
ore contempt then that which allows good intellegent people to cheat them selves
of whatever potential they had. It is this word that allows them to escape real
ity with an imaginary sinario in which they have already mentally done the thing
. There fore "later" comes and goes with the thing undone/notdone.
Of course some people do act on their laters... and tomorrows... but for everyon
e who does there are at least 2 more who don't. How have we come to live this wa
y? I fear already I have opened more questions in this "thing" then I have anwse
red. but questions are sometimes just as valuable as their anwsers for after all
the chicken and the egg do have some validity. More so it is again a question o
f the questions which get put off till the end of lectures that in the end never
are asked.
Later cripples us... How can a logical person know what is in their best intrest
and yet still avoid doing that thing. Only when that thing is physicall do we r
espond without haste. Hopefully future generations will evolve in such a way tha
t they can see the importance of these trivial things we do to mantain our self
in sociity which in todays world is equivilent to survival. This raises another
point, is it that we being intelligent see these trivial excersises such as mann
ers and tests for thier physicall/practical value in life over all and dismiss t
hem?
When you write a paper or do a test that proves to others what you already know,
you see its futility. (Giving that for some individuals tests are the only way
to stirr them appropiately to actually learn the material, and that for our jobs
today these are used as yet another form of mesaurement of worth) The system is
not perfect there are ways that given more efficent/personal methods we could r
e-implement the testing system. so I will begrude this flawed system no more.
and If I do cease to examine this system of which I and you are now a cog I let
my lap dissipear and sit down to let this beast live, and demand nothing more of
it. I let it win. People see the futitallity of rebeling because there are so f
ew instutions that show us it is an option and in dead a method of change. No wh
ere is this more evidant then in the sciences. everything is under constant scru
tinay and revision, everything save for the most basic elements of learning the
sience which they now employ.
I blame this largely due to a personal bias of people, and their natures. Having
served out time we as adults deem the education system to be fine, "its not our

problem were no longer a part of it, and after all it produced me!" we say. loo
k at when the last time the general academic method was completely revisesd. We
who are of science demand such prefection in OUR proofs and experiments, and ign
ore the next generations suffering through an arcane system of learning that is
controlled by some of the least educated of our race.
Presidents, scientists lawyers and doctors are not the most important people in
our sociotiy, it is the TEACHER! They hold more sway over the nature of our worl
d then we dare allow any small set of individuals. They are also some of the lea
st "educated" I mean no disrespect to any teacher now. It is not their fault the
y simply were taught this is how things are and acted as appropiate to succed in
the manner they so chose.
But you need only and arts degree (Im sorry but they are less demanding in gener
al and neither and arts or science degree encompasses all that a tacher needs to
teach but that will be dealt with in a moment) and a year or two at a teachers
collage to teach our elemetary student. Phsychologists the world over agree earl
y childhood development is the most important time of our lives yet we put the l
east capable people in charge of these potential geniuses. The system is so flaw
ed that I feel no modisty in offering a few corrections.
(By all means tell me my suggestions are wrong and devise better ones however in
so doing you will only aid my/yours/our cause) No teachers should have to teach
for extended lengths of time such as our current 30-40 years before they recive
pension(im no saying give them pension early) Im saying that it is natural that
people become less inthused over time I suggest that teachers become like athle
tes in the olympics, the most important people in the world should be tained and
PROPERLY tested as such.
And their knowledge should be that of both an arts student AND a science student
because when teaching our young the skills needed to survive in the world one c
annnot simply choose one or the other, we need to instead reguard the problem wi
th a wholistic view that allows them to teach a wholeistc world view. I could sa
y more but this is lengthy enough as is and im currently a touch ill and the tim
e and ..... I'll finish it later... :(

October 2nd 2009 12:37am

"as of this moment I have yet to see one way that time phycially beinfits us as
human beings. and very few if any mentally overall"
October 2nd 2009 1:14 am
"I can't wait until mathematicians invent a new lie that allows them to devide b
y zero and have two integers that can devide into PI. Math is a self prepetuatei
ng lie. There is no singular number set that can accurately represent reality. I
f that is not basis enough to disprove it (at least in everyday relivance) then
what is!"

THIS IS NOT MINE HOWEVER I DO ENJOY IT!@!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the mouldering wall,
But at every gust more dead leaves fall,.
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold and dark and dreary.
It rains and the wind is never weary.

My thoughts still cling to the mouldering past.

And youth's fond hopes fall thick in the blast.
And my life is dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart and cease repining
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining
Thy fate is the common fate of all
Into each life some rain must fall
Some days must be dark and dreary.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

November 15th 6:02 Pm 2009

"Communative Value theory."
Communative value theory is a name I have coined for a phycological phenomon tha
t I have recognized. Im not sure if I am the first however this brief will serve
as a reminder to further reasearch this and see if it is original and flesh it
out more. Basically is the estimated or given value of anyone person/thing in re
lation to
another poessed by the first objcet. (the way leah calls me sexy alot) there are
lots of sexy guys by her standards on campus but because she has a negative vie
w of her self it causes her to place added value on a common comodity because sh
e believes that sexy guys wouldn't want her (not exactly but i digress) so say I
would be normally
a 7 on her rateing scale because Im with her it moves me up to say 8 or 9 (the a
ctual value is unimportant more important is the fact that my initial value is i
ncreased in realtion to hers and the difference between hers and mine.
---edit september 8th 2010----"I believe x is precived self value in this case a
nd y being base value of object being evaluated"
ie let x<=y communitave value = (y-x) + y. The trick is few things are as easy
to acertain the exact value of in order to apply this function however you can
still apply it without numbers. to further complicate the equation you could wri
te
communitive value = (y-x) + y - comonnality(or precived comonality) of y. ***c
omonality is a word I created for how common something is similar to frequency h
owever it takes into account that commoness carries negative connoation)
a side note if x is a trait of a person we take the precived self evaluation of
the trait by x rather then its commonly agreed upon value.
Why is this important/how could it be used? it is useful in market evaluation an
d in picking up girls in lots of things. It allows you to form more concrete fou
ndations for probablities of success in selling something or someone.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
(INCOMPLETE COME BACK AND FINISH SOME TIME!!!)
November 18th 9: 13 pm 2009
"Rock bottom and Statue men"
Every time Im cut deep, and I mean to the core. Which has happened entirely too
much in my short life. That damaged part of me heals in a most terrifying way. I
t hardens. Becomes stone. So that I In my young nieviety may never do it or myse
lf harm again. But in so doing desensitizes me to yet another part of my self.
It keeps the stone out of harms way and also out of my reach. This process has h
appened to me so many times that I am now almost completely stone. At first I th
ought that this was indeed terrible because I was no longer completely my old se
lf. So I struggled to thaw out these stony parts of myself to feel again...
feel anything... Except the dull drone of life. Then upon finally freeing these
relic emotions of my old self I experience one breif moment of contentment. I'm

like a stone icirus flying towards the sun. I can see the light but so very much
of me is stone that I cannot feel its warmth and when I thaw out enough
to again feel this amazing phenomon that is life I take off and fly towards this
sun with an almost relgious (for lack of a better word) ferver. Upon being air
born the stone parts of me pull and pull me away from my sun and send me hurtlin
g back down and damageing me even deeper then before. So for I have seen the log
ic
of this evolutionary self defense mechnisim. I no longer try to thaw. I simply l
et the vines grow and accept that the ground is as close as I will ever be to th
e sun until I can somehow to learn to over power the stony parts of my self comp
letely for only then can I reach my love and die in a ball of passionate fire,
for I have been told that this is the best way to exist. Strangely enough as muc
h as that means complete inceneration that no stone mending can fix I find comfo
rt in knowing that at least I will die knowing just how great it can be to be th
at close to the sun. rather then letting the water, and vines slowly devour me
with nothing gained. I await that time. Until then come to me my green friends,
your digging pain is the only thing I feel through my stone skin. Promise me you
will devour me lest I exist in internal emptiness forever... alone without my s
un and in the shade of your great tall cousin's arms that keep from me even
the glimmer of hope that my desired end may still arrive........ If there is eve
n still a sun.
(after writing 9:35PM)
Thank you henry wadsworth, but more so thank you me for "Why is sadness always m
ore common then happiness?" july 27 1:18 am 2009 I was in a bad way Until I rea
lized the truth in my own words. My situation has not improved but I will contin
ue. I would delete the above mess/rant but I said I would never delete this file
or its contents or edit orginal writeing. only add to in a a dated manner keepi
ng seprate edits from original...As bad as I thought things were last year they
seem positively cheery in the nature of the posts compared to this years... :( I
hope to fix that. :D
These are not mine but they do exist and will aid in forming these rants so I wi
ll include them and perhaps some day truely use them instead of mearly have them
for refence to try and prevent as many as possible,.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Ad hominem----------------------------An ad hominem argument is any that attempts to counter anothers claims or conclu
sions by attacking the person, rather than addressing the argument itself. True
believers will often commit this fallacy by countering the arguments of skeptics
by stating that skeptics are closed minded. Skeptics, on the other hand, may fa
ll into the trap of dismissing the claims of UFO believers, for example, by stat
ing that people who believe in UFO's are crazy or stupid.
Ad ignorantiam-----------------------------------The argument from ignorance basically states that a specific belief is true beca
use we don't know that it isn't true. Defenders of extrasensory perception, for
example, will often overemphasize how much we do not know about the human brain.
UFO proponents will often argue that an object sighted in the sky is unknown, a
nd therefore it is an alien spacecraft.
Argument from authority--------------------------------Stating that a claim is true because a person or group of perceived authority sa
ys it is true. Often this argument is implied by emphasizing the many years of e
xperience, or the formal degrees held by the individual making a specific claim.

It is reasonable to give more credence to the claims of those with the proper b
ackground, education, and credentials, or to be suspicious of the claims of some
one making authoritative statements in an area for which they cannot demonstrate
expertise. But the truth of a claim should ultimately rest on logic and evidenc
e, not the authority of the person promoting it.
Argument from final Consequences-----------------------------------Such arguments (also called teleological) are based on a reversal of cause and e
ffect, because they argue that something is caused by the ultimate effect that i
t has, or purpose that is serves. For example: God must exist, because otherwise
life would have no meaning.
Argument from Personal Incredulity-------------------------------------I cannot explain or understand this, therefore it cannot be true. Creationists a
re fond of arguing that they cannot imagine the complexity of life resulting fro
m blind evolution, but that does not mean life did not evolve.
Confusing association with causation------------------------------This is similar to the post-hoc fallacy in that it assumes cause and effect for
two variables simply because they are correlated, although the relationship here
is not strictly that of one variable following the other in time. This fallacy
is often used to give a statistical correlation a causal interpretation. For exa
mple, during the 1990's both religious attendance and illegal drug use have been
on the rise. It would be a fallacy to conclude that therefore, religious attend
ance causes illegal drug use. It is also possible that drug use leads to an incr
ease in religious attendance, or that both drug use and religious attendance are
increased by a third variable,
such as an increase in societal unrest. It is also possible that both variables
are independent of one another, and it is mere coincidence that they are both in
creasing at the same time. A corollary to this is the invocation of this logical
fallacy to argue that an association does not represent causation, rather it is
more accurate to say that correlation does not necessarily mean causation, but
it can. Also, multiple independent correlations can point reliably to a causatio
n, and is a reasonable line of argument.
Confusing currently unexplained with unexplainable-----------------------Because we do not currently have an adequate explanation for a phenomenon does n
ot mean that it is forever unexplainable, or that it therefore defies the laws o
f nature or requires a paranormal explanation. An example of this is the "God of
the Gaps" strategy of creationists that whatever we cannot currently explain is
unexplainable and was therefore an act of god.
False Continuum-------------------------------------The idea that because there is no definitive demarcation line between two extrem
es, that the distinction between the extremes is not real or meaningful: There i
s a fuzzy line between cults and religion, therefore they are really the same th
ing.
False Dichotomy---------------------------------Arbitrarily reducing a set of many possibilities to only two. For example, evolu
tion is not possible, therefore we must have been created (assumes these are the
only two possibilities). This fallacy can also be used to oversimplify a contin
uum of variation to two black and white choices. For example, science and pseudo
science are not two discrete entities, but rather the methods and claims of all
those who attempt to explain reality fall along a continuum from one extreme to
the other.
Inconsistency----------------------------------Applying criteria or rules to one belief, claim, argument, or position but not t
o others. For example, some consumer advocates argue that we need stronger regul

ation of prescription drugs to ensure their safety and effectiveness, but at the
same time argue that medicinal herbs should be sold with no regulation for eith
er safety or effectiveness.
Non-Sequitur-----------------------------------In Latin this term translates to "doesn't follow". This refers to an argument in
which the conclusion does not necessarily follow from the premises. In other wo
rds, a logical connection is implied where none exists.
Post-hoc ergo propter hoc------------------------------This fallacy follows the basic format of: A preceded B, therefore A caused B, an
d therefore assumes cause and effect for two events just because they are tempor
ally related (the latin translates to "after this, therefore because of this").
Reductio ad absurdum---------------------------In formal logic, the reductio ad absurdum is a legitimate argument. It follows t
he form that if the premises are assumed to be true it necessarily leads to an a
bsurd (false) conclusion and therefore one or more premises must be false. The t
erm is now often used to refer to the abuse of this style of argument, by stretc
hing the logic in order to force an absurd conclusion. For example a UFO enthusi
ast once argued that if I am skeptical about the existence of alien visitors, I
must also be skeptical of the existence of the Great Wall of China, since I have
not personally seen either. This is a false reductio ad absurdum because he is
ignoring evidence other than personal eyewitness evidence, and also logical infe
rence. In short, being skeptical of UFO's does not require rejecting the existen
ce of the Great Wall.
Slippery Slope------------------------------This logical fallacy is the argument that a position is not consistent or tenabl
e because accepting the position means that the extreme of the position must als
o be accepted. But moderate positions do not necessarily lead down the slippery
slope to the extreme.
Special pleading, or ad-hoc reasoning------------------------------This is a subtle fallacy which is often difficult to recognize. In essence, it i
s the arbitrary introduction of new elements into an argument in order to fix th
em so that they appear valid. A good example of this is the ad-hoc dismissal of
negative test results. For example, one might point out that ESP has never been
demonstrated under adequate test conditions, therefore ESP is not a genuine phen
omenon. Defenders of ESP have attempted to counter this argument by introducing
the arbitrary premise that ESP does not work in the presence of skeptics. This f
allacy is often taken to ridiculous extremes, and more and more bizarre ad hoc e
lements are added to explain experimental failures or logical inconsistencies.
Straw Man----------------------------Arguing against a position which you create specifically to be easy to argue aga
inst, rather than the position actually held by those who oppose your point of v
iew.
Tautology-----------------------------------tautology is an argument that utilizes circular reasoning, which means that the
conclusion is also its own premise. The structure of such arguments is A=B there
fore A=B, although the premise and conclusion might be formulated differently so
it is not immediately apparent as such. For example, saying that therapeutic to
uch works because it manipulates the life force is a tautology because the defin
ition of therapeutic touch is the alleged manipulation (without touching) of the
life force.
The Moving Goalpost------------------------------------A method of denial arbitrarily moving the criteria for "proof" or acceptance out

of range of whatever evidence currently exists.

Tu quoque-------------------------------Literally, you too. This is an attempt to justify wrong action because someone e
lse also does it. "My evidence may be invalid, but so is yours."
Unstated Major Premise-------------------------------------This fallacy occurs when one makes an argument which assumes a premise which is
not explicitly stated. For example, arguing that we should label food products w
ith their cholesterol content because Americans have high cholesterol assumes th
at: 1) cholesterol in food causes high serum cholesterol; 2) labeling will reduc
e consumption of cholesterol; and 3) that having a high serum cholesterol is unh
ealthy. This fallacy is also sometimes called begging the question.
Hopefully they will be useful
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
November 26th 2009 7:15 pm
"Rageing aginst a stilted mirror."
I am so often cold and judgemental towards the random crowds even at university
maybe its because I expected more and I so rarely find it amongst the people goi
ng here, but all the same I have come to begrudgeingly accept that part of the r
eason I resent them so is because no matter how much I might like to deny it or
pretend other wise Im not much diffrenet from them. even saying that feels like
it doesn't fly true. Perhaps because I have internalized since I was very young
that I was different, somehow alien to them.
Most people who are anti social would say, "I just don't get people!" My problem
is "I understand them very very well" as such I see what is underneath the faca
des and social fluff. Its not pretty, or at least that is my feeling towards the
true nature of people. I am not sure why I have always felt so different but I
just have. When I was younger people always said I was mature for my age. This m
eant that they recognized the importance of my ideas and conversation and reguar
ded that part of me as very adult however they still treated me baised on my phy
sical age. This frustrated me to no end.
When I was younger I took note of my so called maturity and hoped it was just an
initial buffer and that when I grew up I would just exist at the same level as
everyone and be able to see only as far or as clearly as the person of the same
age to my left or right. However this proved to also not be the case. I stayed a
head. As such come my mid teen's I found conversations with adults the most comf
ortable. It felt like they were at my level or rather that I was at theirs. But
again conversation would go so far and then they would suddenly realize the absu
rdity of talking with a teenager in this manner and the conversation would end.
(On a side note I don't use big words or fancy words to sound big or fancy, *alt
hough i do catch my self doing this from time to time when my intelligence is a
matter of conerr a habit I hope to out grow* but rather I use big words beacuse
I find they are more precise and with the language being as open as it is the mo
re precise the better. Still can't spell worth a dam but what ever.) When I came
to university I had large hopes to find people like me. admittingly I don't get
out a great deal so I could be doing more on my part but I have been sick for t
he last 3 weeks so its excuseable.
but by and large the problem is that most of the people at university are not in
my opinion (judgemental I know) very smart people. most of them simply know how
to exist in the system and are good at jumping hoops and have had the proper ed

ucation to train them to jump these hoops with great skill and dexterity whileis
t being almost completely deviod of intelligent thought. Sure about 30 % are nic
e people but they are still dim. But they are nice about! Partially it discourag
es me coming from disadvantage so i resent them for doing what I feel I should b
e able to do easily. But when I really thought about it, I was never school smar
t anyway
I am assured of my intelligence it is the one thing that keeps me sane. It may b
e false assurance but I need it. I need to be seprate from those people. I need
to be different. At first it was a feeling that I couldn't really place, perhaps
I have internalized the ideal so much now that I cannot exist otherwise. Which
is a sad reality which I may look into correcting, but I think it has done me a
great deal of good this belief that I am different. It spurrs me on to rexamine
my world and what I put in it and take from it. That alone is worth holding the
belief for. I will agree however that self imposed alienation is not the best wa
y to enjoy life.
for that reason I need to find a medium somewhere inbetween I will work towards
that.
December 15th 2009 3:04am
"Problems with the subjective world theory."
Preconditions: I watched a video talking about prespective worlds and in it the
author claimed that we all shape our worlds by our thoughts and focus and we fin
d what we look for. I do agree we can create a small bias in our own preception
however the world is objective and does exist and when you claim your preception
can change the object/thing you are preceving (aside from your physical body al
tering light/waves etc) then you create a paradox because multiple preceptions o
ften act on the same object. Read below for my response to the video.
IF What he says is true then let me propose a scenario using the conditions he h
as set up. We all shape our own worlds. fine. But we live on one world. When we
start shaping our world (using his example of wanting a woman) with other people
you get conflicting worlds. In this scenario you have two worlds with equal pro
bability (by his def) existing. So You can see complications. that's with two pe
ople ... Now try the world population. I rest my case.
exact date unknown ~2009 (found on an old paper in my room)
"Hidden Diamonds"
A hidden diamond lies burried beneath mountains of dirt and debris, this of cour
se is natural as when palnets are made the denisest parts fo towards the center
and thus are the most obscurred, while the lesser diamonds float to the top. The
se lesser diamonds are the basis on which all diamonds are judged because they a
re the only ones that can bee seen, so while the lesser diamonds adorne our head
s necks and hands, the truely great ones lie beneath our feet.
So I say to these greater diamonds, "Show yourself!" for we lack the sight to se
e you, and the ablity to find you. Until you do we shall continue to parade thes
e lesser diamonds mocking your silence. May it forever torment you , being the o
nly one to know your value, and the way to bring your self to the surface.
(looking on this I think This rant/poem was supposed to talk about how we judge
talent and that there are emincely talented people in existance that don't in fa
ct crave attention so the "guitar douchebag" that can play two chords and does s
o in public all the time gets loads of attention while true masters of guitar or
any art or skill don't flaunt what they have as much and as such we let the idi
ots set the bar on which all of that skill are judged... I think)
January 6th 2010 10:01 PM
"all numbers are mearly a distinct set of 1's, but what is a a 1 made of? and so
on and so forth."

January 6th 2010 10:14 PM

"Philospohers are like the architects of science. They dream it and determine if
it is possible then science and scientists attempt to engineer or create the wo
rld/concept/thing that the philosophers dreampt up. This is important because ph
ilosphers ask the question "Is it even possible?" which if they determine its no
t conclusively science generally doesn't waste its time presueing it unless new
science gives lead to new possiblites and makes the impossible plausable to the
philosopeher/scientist (they are some times/often one and the same I think).
( PT83W-4298F-MMJWM-G2G6C-V3G8G

) windows 7 product key!

Febuary 1st 2010 11:41 am

"Bloody newspapers"
Every time I pick up a news paper, by the time i've put the bloody thing down I
feel terrible and usually am outraged at the stupidity I find inside. The contri
dictions, the inequality, the Idiocy. Just once I would like to pick it up and s
ay, "There we're finally doing something right!" Take this hati buisness I read
today that they are focusing on giving food only to the women because they think
they will share it better then the men. Well What about a single man, the woman
has no reason to help him, and the single woman has no one to share with. Its a
ll crazy people all over the world are throwing money at the problem but they ar
e failing to see the main trouble isn't money its that we can't get the reasourc
es to the poeple!
Futher more if we were truly a "Sensibley" charatiable populace we would not at
the same time on the same page you see one 50 year old woman trying to raise 40,
000 dollars to get a organ transplant. How many of our precious hati children wo
uld that money save? We throw our money blindly towards any charity we see, why?
Because the religions have infused us with a sense of morals to give until it h
urts so we can reap reward later. the key point here is that our current moral s
ystem is baised on a dualist world view and needs to be revised to a more materi
alistic one. After all does it make any sense to trade material things for spira
tual rewards? Should we not barter for our souls with purely soulful things/acti
ons? Its all bullshit.
Febuary 1st 2010 7:01 PM
"Partial solution to energy crysis"
INstall a small water wheel or turbine inside peoples standard plumbing that whe
n you push the water up past it to get the shower and down past it from drain yo
u generate electricity which could power a few lights or something. Not much if
you look at it as a perhouse basis but its cheap and if employed on large enough
scale you could make a big impact.
------edit September 8th 2010 10:28 PM ----- When I had first came up with this
idea dal was asking for ideas I took it to them then they never got back to me.
As such it was never further realized. A shame I may try to revitilize it at som
e point.

Febuary 4th 1:10AM

"lets conqure the world...Really"
I really think logan has something. Im tried of this broken system bulls shit. I
say we make our own.
A group of highly motivated individuals that are anything but stupid could easil
y turn this shit box world on its head. And more over we would trick them into g
iving us the money and other resources to do it.

Take schools for instance. you have thousands of people who are all striving to
do something great or put their talents to work instead we write papers and make
projects that get a scribble and then tossed away like so much of our young lif
e already has been!
Give them a room. Just one room on the whole fucking campus not asking much wher
e ideas can be planted amongst people of different disciplines, and let each of
the different disciplines water them in the own way!
The problem is that people don't think, or communicate anymore. When you go walk
ing you listen to your ipod. When your home you listen to music, or do some othe
r sub task. People are so rarely doing "NOTHING"
Its in the presence of nothing that you really think. I love walking places with
out music just to think to my self along the walk I "mentally" accomplish a lot
during these times. But I'm going off topic.
The point is I agree. I'm fed up with letting talents go to waste and being judg
ed by what you can't do instead of what you can.
We can all do a lot and in time even more. So lets turn potential into action!
The question is where to start?
December 16th 2009 (found on paper)
"Every human is a cel of the body of mankind, the greatest accomplishment a cell
can achieve is to do something that furthers the progress of the body."
Added content Feb 7th 2010 9:22PM "However the majority of cells with die withou
t the body takeing notice. And from their remains new cells shall be born, each
with a new chance to progress the body in its own unique way."
added content March 12/13 2010 12:12 Am "I would say forget the body your a cell
life is short but, the cells need the body to sustain them as much as the body
is sustained by them they are intemately connected. I guess the best you can do
is effect change in the body"
December ??? 2009
"Life's purpose is what you give it and that is our reward for breaking natural
evolution."
March 11th 2010 ~1:35pm
"The most pactient person in the world sitll doesn't want to wait."
The distance between us and the reward (both in the physical and metaphysical se
nse ie time and others) directly impacts our decision makeing and we will almost
always be swayed to the closer option, even if it has a smaller reward then the
farther away reward.
This is not to say that people can't overcome this phenomon with great mental ef
fort but it is a commonality that should be observed and used as a rule of thumb
when dealing with people. (this may change in the future, in fact I hope it doe
s, but right now thats the way it is.)
March 11th 2010 ~2:00pm
"Theory of Unified emergent mental representations."
---Expand when you get time--- Do it before you forget it.... -__- I forgot....
Also it was partly debunked so humbug
febuary something 2010
"people(edit>)/society(<edit) care more about what you don't know(or can't do) t

hen what you do know or can do. In short people these days tend to think in the
negative"
MArch 14th 2010 3:46am
"The concept of value is just that, no more then a concept."
It is man made and ceases to exist when we do. In the mean time however we would
do well to remember it is subjective and should be treated as such. These days
this simple lesson is all too easily forgotten.
(possibly expand later)
Subject: Human Creativity vs Machine Creativity.
Topic: Default Topic
Author: Luke MacIntosh Date: January 19, 2010 12:11 PM
People often remark that computers are incapable of creativity and that it alone
separates them from us indefinitely.
These same people will often admit to a lack of understanding/explanation for wh
at human creativity is... of all the definitions the one that I find most mirrio
rs my own in what I have found to be true is that (believe it or not ) on wikipe
dia:
"Creativity is a mental and social process involving the discovery of new ideas
or concepts, or new associations of the creative mind between existing ideas or
concepts."
The key here is that we use existing ideas in conjunction or combination to crea
te something that appears new or unseen, or even out of this world. However its
composition is entirely of this world and things that we have previously recogni
zed or understood.
From this point it is easy to see how a machine can/would be capable of this pro
cess. Simply create webs of items/ideas that are linked store them in memory, an
d then combine them to form new ideas or objects. I would argue however that the
definition above is flawed in that it composes what I like to call "Random Crea
tivity" Random creativity is useless unless by sheer coincidence.
With Random creativity your creating seemingly new ideas but they are not design
ed to aid in the solution of any given problem or progress.
You also run into the problem of the machine needing to be able to recognize how
these newly created ideas are useful to it and then the machine needs to do a t
wo step process which is neither efficient or practical. (not to mention devisin
g an algorithm to manage useful vs not useful ideas is very difficult, and costl
y but not impossible. Next I suggest a type of Creativity that in a sense solves
the problems of Random Creativity.)
So Instead I propose the notion of "Goal Oriented Creativity." A Creativity that
is driven and focused on things that it can already draw a correlation between
with its goals.
ie. We want to devise a new way of dancing so the creative elements we add to po
t are those that are already associated either directly or indirectly* with runn
ing.
(how direct the elements need to be depends on the speed and memory available to
the machine, but as you expand out you can recursively(preform within it self)
the creative process to draw new links and it could expand to any specified rang
e, and if not moderated could potentially draw links in a countable infinite num
ber of ways! but I will avoid this problem for now)
Now as you can probably see the problem here is your pool of ideas is somewhat l

imited by the number of at first direct links you can create with the goal in qu
estion, so in some cases here the random creativity could seem better in that yo
u create things that seem 'More' original because of their unrelated-ness to the
problem. However overall the goal oriented creativity is more useful in a machi
ne environment.
By now you may have also noted that in a sense I don't believe in true originali
ty. You would be right, but I will hold my view and would ask you to do the same
until you can be given evidence that something was created by the creative proc
ess that bears no link, or semblance to anything existing in the world.
So that is the argument I present for the possibility machine creativity. Its qu
ite bare-bones but any more and it would be a case of a document that is "too lo
ng/didn't read" so my question to you is what are your thoughts on the matter? d
o you disagree? agree? see room for improvement? shoot!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Counter point%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Subject: Re:Human Creativity vs Machine Creativity.
Topic: Default Topic
Author: Benjamin Clark Date: January 20, 2010 5:13 PM
There's no doubt in my mind that machines are capable of drawing new connections
and conjoins ideas or concepts at their disposal in original ways. The problem
here though is the motivation.
This talk about goals is worrisome because the only goals (far as I can see) tha
t machines currently possess are self-sustainment and efficiency, just as we pro
grammed them to. Art is fueled by core emotion and subjectivity, two things that
machines, as of yet, have no capacity for (or need). By core emotion I don't me
an some deep and profound quality that only humans possess, we have basically th
e same goals: self-sustainment and efficiency, however we have the advantage of
self-sustaining through procreation, the one thing machines can't do, and the on
e thing that drives vast of our more complicated behaviours.
%%%%%%%%%%%rebuttle%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Subject: Re:Human Creativity vs Machine Creativity.
Topic: Default Topic
Author: Luke MacIntosh Date: January 20, 2010 11:03 PM
(Don't want to read the whole thing? Read inside the dotted lines..... ---------------- the core point is inside them )
Firstly I think that attempting to define art in any concrete way is a hard thin
g to do, and as I understand people still debate what is and isn't art so I don'
t think using any definition of art to be a useful counterpoint.
Within your own argument you seem to double back first claiming that core emotio
n and subjectivity fuel art (I think this needs to be looked at and I will in a
moment) and no machines as of yet have the capacity to do so.
Obviously this is irrelevant as your argument uses current machines which I will
make no claim posses creativity or originality. My argument is that they COULD
be creative and original not that they currently are which would be a difficult
point to prove to say the least.
Now back art. If a machine painted a sad person would you not say that the paint
ing posses the sad emotion. Entering into color theory if it painted a bombed ou
t building with lots of dark reds and greys you would say the picture has a cert
ain hostility or anger vs the same building painted with lots of cool tones (blu
es, yellows, light greens so on) has a relaxing peaceful feel.
----------------------------------------------------My point being that paintings or any art really is very much what its audience m

akes it. No finer example can be found then poetry. A computer under the alias o
f say William Shakespeare writes a nonsensical llist of words that are only slig
htly connected. Guaranteed if you showed it to enough people one would think it
a master piece and felt a deep connection with it.
The computer has no emotion yet it produced something which elicits emotion.
Even more some of the best artists (subjective I know) agree that a lot of the b
est art is a result of "chaos".
Need proof look at Jackson Pollock the man throws paint into jet turbines and th
ey still call his stuff art ;)
Are you telling me a machine can't do that?
-----------------------------------------------------As to your self-sustainment argument. A machine could indeed create other machin
es. (What of the BMW assembly line which has many robots.) That is not the best
example but you get my point. You could argue that procreation is not even selfsustainment save in the altruistic sense of self-sustainment of the race. Here w
e can clearly ask "in what way does making another but different version of your
self help you personally?"
But a machine can be made to fix it self anyway, and so on....
08/04/2010 1:59 am
Fun fact tomatoe leaves and stem are posionous... I ate some without knowing...
Why you ask ? smelled good had good texture and actually tasted amazing. Althoug
h Now I learn leaves and stem are highly toxic... great.
April 19th 2010 3:14 Am
" In cogantive science there is a problem that deals with relatedness and frames
. A frame is the limiting system that is used to determine what sort of relatedn
ess your looking for ie, when trying to select related objects baised on color y
our useing color as the frame to derive realtedness. However the paradoxical arg
uement is that in order to determine the correct frame to use you already know w
hat/and/or how they are realated thus createing the dreaded circle.
My soultion to this problem is a system involving triggers. By using triggers (i
mplimented via dynamic system coupling methods directly to the enviroment) to au
tomatically select the correct frame. ie when x happens/is present use frame y.
when z happens use frame A. With this solution we rid ourselves of the circle wh
ileist maintaining the concept of frames to derive relatedness. (inspired by tra
ffic lights at the iwk intersection and the way drivesr in cars analyze need to
stop for pedistrains. when they walk past a certain area they are no longer rela
ted to the task of driveing.)
----edit---April 23rd 2010 2:33pm
"What happens when you have competeing triggers? is competeing triggers a proble
m the way I defined the soultion above? How do you change frame baised on choice
instead of just the physical enviroment. PsychCorp is working on this problem a
s we speak look into it.
The moral of the story is: write down you seemingly ground breaking ideas in as
pure a form as you can. Then the next day go back over them with a fine tooth co
mb and they will either collapse under their own weight or come out of the fires
of critique tempered and stronger then before.

April 29th 2010 9:13 Pm

"If there is space between particles why can't light pass through thoes spaces?"

Light is supposed to be energy but should not energy be able to pass through the
space.? How big is light? could we use these anwsers to some how see through so
lid objects. (this is a brain fart an may be of no actual use.)
----edit---may 11th 2010 That would be true but there are enough of them in seri
es and thickness that obscure the gaps like using a series of overlapping shapes
to block out light this idea is useless
May 11th 2010 8:56Pm
"In Search of Magic"
How am I to bring magic back into the world? The world needs magic. its magic th
at gives us hope and something to strive for when all hope is lost. In the end t
echnology got to where it was today because of magic!
The world we live in now is demistifiyed completely. My generation is the last t
o have truely experienced the world in a "feeling" its because of that I have ho
pe. In a world turing to ash and rubble by our own hand.
It would take magic to bring magic back... BUt the problem is Finding that magic
to reseed the earth. Science is black and white in what can and can't be done.
It's magic and the power of hope that causes us to strive to meet and go beyond
the limits science seems to impose.
The feeling I get when Im at peace or in awe of the world is what I need to shar
e. But the methods Im thinking of to use seem to be inadquate. like the way plan
et earth tried to remind us of the power of the earth.
Even that is insufficent. I don't know how but Ive got to think and try.
MAy 12th 2010 11:54 Pm
"Normality and freedom, the true oil and water paradox"
What is normal? IM always being told to just be "normal" and do things normally
and meet the norm and be compared with the average. Well Im sick of it. Im compl
etely fed up, and anyone reading this should be as well! Being normal made sense
when we were too stupid to figure things out for our self and normality meant s
aftey. In a way it still does as the normal way of living is most likely the saf
est beacuse many many other "normal" people died trying to figure out what the n
ormal thing to do was.
All that sacrifice so you could take the easy route. Fuck the easy route! Normal
ity is the bane of freedom. Yet freedom can only be attained and sustained durin
g peaceful times. However in order to get to the peaceful times we're told we ne
ed to be normal and follow the laws and rules set out before us. But by having t
o fallow the laws to prevent war and disagreements we let our freedom slip away
like ashes in the wind.
Ashes of the true pheoneix because our freedom must be lost to be born. It is a
entity existing solely in contrast because what is freedom in a world with out r
estraint? So in the end your left with a choice freedom in chaos or normality wh
ilst under control. Personally I will take the freedom route. I will continue go
ing aginst the grain for as long as I have the will to do so. Socoiety will seek
to undermine that willpower however.
By presenting a simpler and more normal and perhaps eaiser way of doing things i
t trains you to take the normal route. Forgo the path less travelled, in favor o
f the safety and acceptance that comes with the beaten path.
---tangent----The world is one ever turning set of cogs each spinning tirelessly
to move another and all the cogs eventually move the largest cog of all. Societ
y it self. Only the secret is that society only turns it self. And you quickly r
ealize without escaping its grasp all we can do is "Spend time on pointless shit
" and wait to be replaced when we stop spinning.
One thing which I find the most curious of all is that the people living in the
norm and under the thumb of society envy the heros. The people who didn't take t
he normal way of doing things. People who took the road less travelled and road
it through to completion. These same people will warn you off the tat path if yo
u are about to tread on it. They will say, "you really don't want to go that way
, why can't you just be normal and take this road with us, come on we can show y

ou how to do this one."

The best part is they are completely unaware (for the most part) of their hipocr
acity. They can't connect the reasons they envy the heros with their choice to b
e diffrent. I will alawys remember a poster in my grade 6 classroom with MR Wals
h. It was hung just above the door, and showed a group of white stick figures, o
n the snow with one blue stick person, and read "Never be afraid to raise your h
and even if your the only one" that may not have been the exact wording of the p
oster but the general feeling I got from it is what I remember most.
I would often raise my hand (both literaly and figuratively) when no one else wo
uld, but still I couldn't help but notice that people would wait to see if someo
ne else would raise their hand first. A sort of testing fo the water so to speak
. It is Bravery that allows the norm to exist. It blazes the path they are all t
o follow in single file. Im so disgusted with the way thing are turning out. I f
ear for the worst. Things like the TED convention, however give me hope. That th
e like minded indivduals will find a way themselves out from the opressive thumb
they are under.
My father thinks Im keeping a diary. This entry is likely as close as they come
to being a diary entry. And that largely because I draw examples out of my perso
nal life. Is it normal to keep a diary? Does something being a normal action don
e by free will make it any less or more normal. Im fighting a loseing one sided
battle. I mean that in that Im and the sole combatant but the other is mearly wa
tching and wating for me to lose aginst my self and in doing so will win. My ene
my is infinitly patient and will out last me even if I "Win".
This in turn is but one more of the tricks it employs. It uses the hopelessness
of the situation to win you over.
You approach a cross roads. You can die fighting, or simply give in and cease to
exist.
I think I exist, and would like to continue doing so for as long as I can. My ch
oice is clear is yours?
June 26th 2010 7:53 Pm
"chocolate chip cookies, and Broque"
Chocolate chip cookies are what I made today after work but I normally just play
video games so Today I wanted to do something different. Makeing the cookies wa
s not easy, as they cooked I switched on the broque channel and turned it up and
danced around not a care in the world pretending to orchestrate it, while taunt
ing the cookies to grow.
At that point in time There was nothing more I wanted/needed. And still as I wri
te this now im satasfied, listening to Vivaldi - Concerto for Mandolin in C Majo
r RV425. I try to avoide anectdote in these entries. However the point I want to
make is, Perhaps all contrubitions to society aside, Simple things made special
are really all there is nessary in life! The feeling is better then any thing I
can compare it with, A pure joyful extasy! So in all reality how difficult was
it to make thoese cookies and switch on the tv? Very easy. And compared to many
of the other work,
That bought me infinatley more statifaction : work invested, then the normal exp
ected things that would be presumed to bring you to a point like this! Im not sa
ying bake one batch of cookies a day to live a deep and enriching life. I saying
finding a way to take what you've got or are doing and make it extrodionary, an
d special to your self! Screw everybody else if they really wanted they could ha
ve some cookies too! Which Reminds me of a recent topic, an age old question "ca
n money buy you happiness?" I heard several people argueing about it over the ba
r.
I said,(*anecticdote here i come*) "Hey I will say just one thing on the topic",
they all stopped and listened. " Money can bring you to oppetunities to generat
e happiness, but money (is not a nessary condition for happiness, but a suffcent
one, in the individual of course) can't buy happiness. Happiness is created by
the person And it is up to them if and when they choose." they sat quiet for a m
inuite then they all uninamiously came together and said, " Yes that is right!"
or other equivilent statements. People need to be put "in the mood" so as to all

ow happiness to happen.
Otherwise they feel its out of place. But the media (checha I know) would have y
ou think that spending money puts you in the mood for happiness. You need proof
Think about when last you thought about buying something. The anticipation of bu
ying it created happiness the lead up to blowing your cash all over the place. T
hen after the big moment your happiness slowly dwindles until the thing you want
ed to buy so badly becomes just another poession, and you set your eye on someth
ing new! But none of this is nessary. Provided your healthy, and live at least
some what controlled enviroment.
Your the archetect of your own happinesS!
June 28th 2010 2:35Pm
"self Cowardess."
Its may seem odd that a poorly drawn cartoon could be the key to any deep knowle
dge but its thanks to a simple cartoon I finally under stand the logic behind th
e Religious and social taboo that is suicide. The key is all sensation no matter
how painful is just that a sensation. To writhe in the beauty of pain, is but o
ne more facet of life. Suicide to escape pain be it mental or physical is but an
escape from experience a cowardice. There are limits to which pain goes beyond
your ablity to precive it, or is so constant it is maddening, at these points we
often step in and end another life.
This is fine. The Pain OR PLEASURE!!!(more on this and the overdose of plesure)
is only useful so long as it can be conciously experienced. The awareness determ
ines the appropiateness. A curious concept is the polar oppisite of extreme prol
onged pain, (length of experience is important as well ie. birth) which is prolo
nged extasy or pleasure. This case doesn't occur on its own and will not sustain
it self without outside help, unlike pain which will given certain elements and
ingredients sustain it self almost indefinatley. Pleasure however is something
that is fleeting and diffuclt to acheive.
If a person was writeing in extreme pleasure so overwhelming that they could not
make sense of it I would say they should be treated exactly the same as a perso
n writeing in extreme prolonged pain. Put down. My logic behind this is identicl
e, Experience (pain or pleasure) are only valuable so long as they can be concio
usly enterpreated. THink of it as a circle. You exist at any given time a just a
single point (degree) in the 360 degree circle of pain/pleasure at the top (0 o
r 360 ) is complete neutrality, Which is extreamly hard to maintain if not impos
sible. However we as humans exist for the bulk of our lives hovering around this
zone of neutrality.
It is for that reason we are so quick to notice pain or pleasure. if you go to t
he top left quarter of the circle you enter the concious pain zone, to the top r
ight is the concious pleasure zone. These two zones are tolerable to be in. WE s
trive to live the bulk of our lives in the top right most quarter. WHen you go b
elow on either side however you enter into problems. The bottom most right quart
er is great but leads to both physical and mental addictions, which can increase
the time spent in the bottom left which is extreme pain. The bottom half of the
bottom quarters of both sides, is where people should be "put down" if they are
stuck there for large amounts of time.
THese two zones are the incomprehensible pain and pleaseure zones. Also it raise
s an intresting question that if you were to push either to EXACTLY THE bottom o
f the circle you would experience A completely unique feeling of both pain and p
leaseure because unlike the top half of the circle where both sides weaken as th
ey approach neutrality on the bottom both sides increase towards the crossover p
oint. THe circle is an intresting mental excersise but im not sure we can make m
ore of it then that. But I would like to mention one more point which supports m
y views, which is Birthing.
When women birth babies, They claim it is one of the most painful experiences th
ey can have. Now I can't verify this, but I have no logical reason to deny this,
so we will assume they are telling the truth. IN which case you have a very int
resting phenomon. A situation when entering a zone of extrememe pain leads to pl

easure. and is reguarded as a pinnicle moment in any humans life. This very much
supports my views above and IM falling asleep.
July 25th 2010 2:20Am
"Quantam...don;t say it "
They say observing electrons (double slit experiment) changes the way they act a
nd exist. Now that may or may not turn out to be true, but in a different way I
can hope that the act of thinking about things can help bring them into being, o
r effect their change for the better.We spend so much time entertaing our selfs,
and thinking about entertainment that our thoughts are being wasted. Religion i
nvariably comes up in all conversation not surrounding the topic of entertainmen
t. REligion mearly another word which is mearly another physical manifestation o
f thought. so along that logic all thought is physical, I suppose in much thesam
e way all matter can be both particle and wave. Its not theat they are changeing
its that they exist at different stages in time. They occilate between the two
forms
and its the observer being there that causes them to slow down or speed up to hi
t different frequencies. Mostlikely though I will turn out that our experiments
were not pure enough and the method used to observe was creating new variables.
much like submerging a diver ina chemeical soultion in order to study it. The di
ver it self is part of the soultion which then alters its composistion and form.
which draws paralles with words of another great philosopher. He laid out one b
ean and then asked if that was enough to be a heap, they said no so he added one
more and did so until they agreed it was a heap, then he took one away and aske
d if it was still a heap. wave and particle, both are notions we came up with in
so much as trying to define one into either you need to remember at such a smal
l stage it could be neither.
It would not be the first time we discover something new. If dimensions were (or
are) a reality I suppose that at its smallest level matter or waves could be so
me extradimensional goop, that we are all just the shadows of a higher dimension
al thing or things. If only we had ultimate truth that would sure make all this
eaiser. but to have that you need god or rather ultimate truth would be your god
. in either case math already cheats. Even logic. The concept of an identiy defi
es so much of my standard thinking. In order to have an identity you need to hav
e some way of knowing that this thing is that other thing. The only way to do th
at is to have ultimate truth. on a more personal note. I'm beggining to question
why I bother writeing these. I have tired to explain some of these to people ar
ound me but to little or no avail.
often times I just feel discouraged and think that I truely am insane, but I som
e how know deep down that (that was a cheesy line) and that even if there is som
e small shred of truth in most any of these posts that it could really change th
e world in the right hands. That's a pretty amazing thing. This was an entry in
my cellphone memory: "All information exists objectively it is neither created n
or destryed. WE all maniuplatethe same information however the order we put the
bits together to form our concepts lead to different or unique expression of an
ideal as a whole. If energy can equal mass and vise versa then all energy is all
mass because information has the same laws of conservationi would be inclined t
o hypothise that information is physical in at least some sensewhich might help
explain how intent is effecting physical material on the quantam level."
I also asked my self if physical objects (us) can interact with information then
what does that imply? what connects them. Does one become the other or does god
step in? it sounds like it will run into the same problems as dualism. however
if information really can become physical then there is a easy way I suppose.
Aug 6th
"Now is
What if
you do

2010 11:58 pm
now roll with it."
you could relive your life knowing a lifetimes worth of knowledge? would
it? That is a subtle question posed by the film inception. I would in a

heart beat. How many people have re-solved the same problems over and over only
to break new ground near the end of their lives. Given an extra 50 years to lear
n you could absorbe much of human knowledge, and that would give you a solid pla
tform from which to break new ground that would actually further your race. Even
if you spent that time prefecting an art It would be worth while. The dream sca
pes of reality and vice versa. It doesn't really matter. I exist at least in so
much as I am able to write this now. That alone is what matters, not that it is
a dream, or if it real or something completely different. It matters that at lea
st for now I feel as though I can make log of thoughts or events.
Using past experience I can generate new ones. And so on to possible infinity. B
ut to the people who spend this time wondering what it is, I say it is a good qu
estion certainly useful as SHORT thought experiment but certainly not something
worth spending any great deal of time on. Simply because you win either way. If
this is not real then you can spend this time furthering your self or race and w
hen you come out even if you retain some shred of what you did then your further
ahead then when you started. If you don;t come out then it makes this time all
the more important, but to waste this time (for anyreason) that DOES exist in at
least some way for you is truely a loss both to your self and others.
Aug 16th 2010 8:32PM
@ Leah: Because it's incredible how much of your life you waste while playing vi
deo games without even noticing it. And for all the time your putting in, your n
ot really getting anything back. I used to say it was making me better competiti
vely, but I was in the top 100 players in the world for a number of games and it
didn't do me one lick of good I realized what a true tragedy it is wasting your
self when you have productive talents like: art, music, codeing, socializing, p
hilosophy etc.
Video games are a drug, You pay into them and get a cheap thrill, then when the
video game makers come out with a new drug your drooling to get your hands on it
and waste you time in a new way. Meanwhile they profit from your addiction. The
y target the young and impressionable by giving them a world they can shape, a w
orld built for them, when the world around them is built for adults, and their o
pinions are meaningless. Once they are hooked they create (as in the new wave of
games) paid content "Expand your game with this map pack!" "Buy this new excl
usive gun for Game points(which cost real money)" All the while drawing you in m
aking you useless at everything else forcing you to come back to the only area y
ou are successful, in world they designed to let success come easy. Then your ho
oked on winning, when the real world makes you lose because you have wasted too
much time in virtual reality to be good at anything tangible.
It's a criminal industry ran by people, farming people.
Well I have seen through the smoke, and am leaving the matrix.
To see the farm, is to leave it...
Aug 22 2010 1 : 20 Am
"Freedom is related ina dynamic way to our sense of secruity"
MINDPOOL! MY GR
EATEST IDEA EVER!
The idea is not new I know but it is the first time I have come to that conculsi
on on my own and as such accept it to be true. (It's important to note this does
n't make it true mearly that baised on my beliefs I find it to be the case) I th
ink that as we gain securiyt or a precived sense of security we gain it ONLY at
the loss of freedom, the irony is that done correctly as freedom approaches the
level of total personal freedom you also become safer and everyone else becomes
more dangerous its all related. So by increaseing security by loseing freedom yo
u are more likely to succeded in being completely enslaved, whileist at the same
time being semi immortal or at least free of all non-standard biological danger
( ie natural end of life span, etc)
The slippery slope is that as you lose freedom you lose ablility to reclaim it.

There will be a certain point when it will become impossible or near impossible
to retrive. I beleive in the most parionid way that this is all to somone's bein
fit. After all a complacent masses that have longer life expectancy certainly be
ifits thoese who benifit from their work. Freedom is being erroded and our secru
rity is becomeing a double edged sword. The key is its erosion while being done
in this way we don't notice it! Then "they" can createdistractions in the form o
f mock freedom's being taken in big chunks that everyone will notice, then after
a mock battle we will be given these mock freedoms back and we will all cheer a
t gaining back what was never lost to being with but will be shortly there after
.
Take for example the right to display product wares.(namely tabacco in nova scot
ia) there is a large debate about it and reguardless of the out come people noti
ce it because it is a large chunk at once that has actually been taken away for
some time now but only when it was made a issue and given a face (namely that of
billy gee or who ever it was) could people take up arms about it.... We truely
are a visual race, it is the form of input that we truely rely upon. Some times
I belive that a blind masses would have been better off... simply then because t
here would be more parseing of information and the variables are by and large si
mpler, and seemingly more symbol based (this is not to say that a new breed of b
lind bambooslers wouldn't come along) perhaps it is a silly notion but the idea
is the longer it takes to parse the information (while still being mangeable) I
feel the better chance people have of seeing through the errors or lies.
I still cannot pick up newpapers without rageing, Im beggining to truely feel ig
norance is bliss... HOwever it is with a stern hand that I must rien in my mind
to survive the next 80+ years or so. I will do all that I can to maintain my san
ity in the out right ludircis world where not even your thoughts are safe from c
orruption. Like a cancer of the mind you need be always on guard lest you become
infested and the cancer take hold and multiply. Inception( a recent film said i
t best) ideas are the most dangerous thing they are like parasites. Your ideas
are the (possibly) the most basic unit of your thought and when you build thing
s out of corrupted base components your structure will never be stable or it wil
l be mutated beyond viablity. FReedom is WAr, slavery is peace. I belive that is
sourced somewhere. If only there wree turly a utopia wherein you could converse
freely with people about such matters as this doccument. An even more icreadibl
e idea a world where these ideas were voiced echoed or rebulked.
We all need to band together thoese who are truely of whole mind and body and ne
ed or want escape. I would offer the ticket to this utopia to everyone. (for who
am I to decide who may enter and who may leave) but then how would you police t
his world? how would you ensure these people were not spreading dogma? how would
you be able to stem the cancerous ideals before they spread? How do you maintai
n freedom? The anwser bings us back to the world we have now almost. (that is as
sumeing that EVERYONE is allowed to come) The way to do it would need to be some
sort of passage that only thoes who were truly critical and earnest in thier th
inking could enter but then who is to design this passage? I feel as though , th
is is impossible and yet what is science if not a peer reviewed world where only
the criticle can surive and thoes who are not are not removed but simply ignore
d. A self monitering government! The key is the ignoreing! I can build it!
I can BUILD IT! IT CAN BE DONE! A WEBSITE WHERE IN YOU CAN INGORE THOES WHO POSE
IDEAS OF NO WORTH! THOES PEOPLE COULD EXIST AND FLOCK TOGEHER! (mozart- Requiem
is playing it's too perfect) I shall build it! IT will give me the capatol I ne
ed to help fix things. A live dissicion fourm! With ignore features and semi ign
ore features! Like mind will meet like mind! There will be no pictures allowed!
(maybe) the key is to be valued baised on your words not who you are or what you
r grades are! A place for people to turely communicate! its so simple the intern
et has brought this to me! It will bring enough profit to found foundations to h
ouse conversation and great minds alike! I must act on this idea as soon as poss
ible this could be the single greatest step forward in human communication of th
e century! certainly people will creat hierichy in private rooms there will be s
ections for like minded people that cannot be remediey but there will also be a
public idea pool that anyone may post to and siphon from it all they need in the

form of information! In this way people can turely be productive! THIS IDEA WIL
L REVOLUTIONIZE EVERYTHING! ONCE IT CATCHES ON AND IT WILL EQUIKA I HAVE DONE IT
! IT WILL OUT SHINE FACEVBOOK! Dear me I cannot sleeP!
BUt Incase I act prematurely I will wait. !I will think! I will move carefully v
ery carefully! It needs a nameI had it but have forgeotten "THought pool" "min
dpool" I envision graphic bubbles for the rooms and the poool in the center link
ing them all and a web like sturtucre to determine related ness again all user d
efined you are the only limit to what you can create it willl apply to music and
much much more! It must be real time! LArge server will be needed!
September 8th 2010 9:43pm
"A sober man's balance or lack there of"
It seems I have been writeing more and more of these sober of late its an odd tw
ist of things and I somehow feel that these are now more forced then the origina
ls ever were. I am forced to put even logic aside in order to attain a functiona
l role in this world. So much needs change and Im not even sure I have enough ti
me to see or help change towards (or perhaps back) to a viable planet.It feels l
ike somone is always pulling the rug outfrom under me and the faster they move t
he more noticble it is. It is only when I can enter a trance like state can I ev
en imagine what we need. Or what it would be like. We desire company. Yet the mo
re people are around us the less reasouces we have, and the less able we are to
acheive our desires. (in the sense both of time and physical reasources) Its th
is inexplicible phenomon that seems to drive us into the yoke of capatilism and
volenteer slavery. Although its quickly getting to the point where even our abli
ty to volenteer into slavery is dissipearing. Im doing computer science because
it is to be the frontier of the world its uncharted territory. There exists with
in it some small amount of freedom, but the freedom is visible only to those who
speak the langugae of the machines. It is this viel that hides the small amount
of freedom that lies within Im counting when pushcomes to shove which I feel it
enivetabley will. So I am pressed into a monkey hive. Where I cannot even contr
ol the temperature of my cell. however oddly enough I feel as though I have ever
ything I NEED in this hole in the wall. Once again I find my self in a sea of pe
ople and couldn't feel more alone. Somehow people can exist in masse yet avoid b
ecoming entangled with the lives of others. I can see it in their eyes the ones
who forget. This post is filled with a flowery langugage which is somewhat nessa
ry. I feel as though Im loseing my mind in an almost 1984 sense. I have stopped
reading that book for that reason amoung others.You can bring people back breifl
y with a joke or do something "Unexpected" they will smile and the life will ret
urn to their eyes, but then durdgrey quickly replaces the veil over thier heads.
I see so many paintings these days There are things I can see but not describe.
(perhaps save in pictures) which is why I am furiously trying to improve my art
. but at times I find my self lacking the will to even do that. This odd existan
ce is one of my own chooseing. (in the sense that Im pinned in a game of chess a
nd am forces to make one move or the other either way i lose a piece a true dile
mma...I could have just said that.) IM subconciously trying to make this somethi
ng its not. There is too much of my subjective and not enough objective. Perhaps
that is the difference the drugs (alcholol or life) allow me to abstract from m
y self. There are hundreds of people in my apartment building and I don't think
I know a single one by name. I recently came to the decision that there is no su
ch thing as being "cheap" and though it has caused me no small amount of frustra
tion and outrage, I have come to accept that the only time playing by the rules
(especially community rules ie don't use the noob tube its cheap)is benificial i
s when everyone agrees to do it mutually. Otherwise your giving away the advanta
ge to someone who will exploit an easier way to success or gain. The key is not
that easy things are cheap but that they are easy, and for a non religious perso
n no one is paying me to go the extra mile. However Even as I type these words I
feel my old self pulling on my heart strings and begging me to turn back. Howev
er the reality is that No one is rewarding the nice guys. AT ALL! I still intend
to try to be the nice guys but I plan to accomplish my goals and or gains as ef

ficently as possibly even if that means being cheap or "cheating" The concept of
cheating, in anyhting other then an activity of pure recreation, is to force we
ak minded people into doings things a certain way, whilst provideing a sort of b
ack door for people who know how the system works and are fimilar enough with th
e rules to
exploit both the rules and the people that follow them. There is no gain modern
society that does not come at somone else's cost. Any convience you precive in y
our day to day life absolutely came at somone elses expense the key is to get as
close to the top as you can so that less people derive convience from you. THes
e ideas regrettable are the only way to function and it is by following them tha
t you reach the top. BUT! A person (Hopefully such as my self) who is sufficentl
y fimilar with both the rules and the people who cheat them is able to cheat the
cheaters, and in so doing restore balance hopefully! Also even a sheep can see
when another sheep is reaping gain at no cost once they are singled out by a wol
f in sheep's clothing. I have not completly broken or given up. Mearly changed m
y approach, my goals are the same. Some how restore balance!
September 8th 2010 10:39
"looking back through these posts I see nothing but potential I need to find an
out lets for these ideas and fast perhaps it will be mind pool but what ever it
ends up being I need to find / join/ or invent is soon! I can't help feeling the
se incredable sensation that time is much shorter then we all would be led to be
ileve. MAybe there is stock to that 2012 nonsense lol"
September 10th 2010 9:22 Pm
"MY first unbiased thoughts on computer ethics."
I thought it would be useful to reccord a few of my thoughts on the issue prior
to studing the field. I have attended one class at this point andread ip to page
7 in the text(johnson). In retrospect I think this will be both enlighting and
perhaps humorous.
The entire problem with computer ethis or advancing technology is it's being mad
e too accessible, like handguns they are seemingly simple to operate (you won't
pick up a gun and be like a action movie star they are harder then that) but you
can still inflict some damage and its because of their ease of use related to t
he effect they can cause that they are a threat. No one is really worried about
the average person fireing an artellery gun because they are mostly too complica
ted for average people to use. (their difficulty to use is proprotionate to thei
r effect) When we enter into the world of smart icmbs,
that can be given directions via thumbs stick and let loose on the world you rea
lize you have a problem. We're designing technology that is immesley powerful wh
ile being increadbly accessable or easy to use. The creator usually only imagine
s the postivie or desired ways that the thing they are createing will be used bu
t via the creativty of people and the new tech's ease of use someone is bound to
use it in a unpredictable way! Does this mean that we need to stop letting peop
le use things? and that we need to more carefully regulate how things are being
used? I stand by the saying that as security increases, freedom decreases.
I like that people are being given powerful tools, its awesome and terrifying bu
t the key is not to bubble wrap everyone but to make the things we release harde
r to use or more focused on the particular fields they will be employed in! This
is a dangerous path too as it will lead to a kind of tech haves and tech have n
ots and eventually somone in the haves will supply the have nots with easy to us
e tech and were back to square 1 or even worse off! Im not really sure what a cl
ear solution is yet but this is after only perhaps an hour of reflection, and af
ter all thats why Im takeing this course! Abramson asked did facebook come about
naturally because we had the science.
At the time I said, no directly JUST because we had the science but because somo
ne saw how the need for communication could be explioted for personal gain and m
aybe a bigger picture as well. But now I almost feel like saying that with the t
rack were on. Humankind's needs are some what fixed as of now. We all want very

similar things weither we will admit it or not. And short of a huge catastorphy
sending us back to the dark ages(which wouldn't even last for long as some peopl
e would survive and rezeruct old tech) science will keep advancing, as long as w
e keep paying scientist good money to do their job, and maybe even if we didn;t.
But the key here is that, Science WILL keep moving forward and in a way things L
IKE facebook are predestined. They will happen if not facebook then some other s
lightly different facebook mutant it might have taken longer but it was enevitab
le. People WILL keep tradeing away freedoms for toys and shiny things with promi
ses of short term gains, without realizing the long term costs as there always i
s. I like to think we still operate in at least some sense in a world of equivil
ent exchange. And since the masses are the type the will want these toys eventua
lly even the educated self questioning member of the public will need to adapt t
o their bullshit socitey or face extinction. (or explusion but they won't let yo
u leave instead your forced to live at the fringes where they can still watch yo
u but you can't effect any thing.)
It truely is depressing we need to gather together those who want a future and e
scape. Those that still ask , "Why?!" and aren't afraid to keep doing so! Then w
e can rebuild. BUt it will be increadbley hard at first and the longer we wait t
he harder it will get. and in doing so we will leave behind soo many. But we mus
t be brave for future generations and our selves. I love the way the rivers of t
he mind, twist and meander, yet always flow down. If you are ever lost follow th
e rivers, keep asking what way they go and eventually they will lead you to trut
h. Even if truth is at the bottom of the mountain. Take heart in knowing that yo
u can stand up at the bottom of the mountian, while those at the top must crawl,
and if you start at the bottom and work your way up you can conquer it and help
those lost amoungst it craigs an crevices to stand proud once more!
September 15th 2010 9:00 pm
Make no mistake your not a computer scientist or at least not how they define it
your a great problem solver but too lazy to learn the tools and will never succ
ed also your fucking miserable right now and university could be amazing but whe
n you constantly feel like your drowning nothing is worth being water boarded fo
r 8 months...Your in the worng program but your too stubborn to change.
September 26th 2010 8:54 Pm
"Religion pasafies activism by allowing people to pray/wait for god to make chan
ge, instead of makeing that change they so desire them selves. And all the atroc
itys that take place while waiting lie on thier own hands. Not their god's."
September 26th 2010 11:50 PM
If I am ever to have these ideas amount to anything I need to do more then just
state them I need to prove them to be true either by logical deduction, (or indu
ction preferably ) and experimentation. For it is by doing these things that my
ideas will become more then mear ideas but concerte concepts understood by and l
isted in text books as discovered or proved by Luke MacIntosh, from that time on
the cusp of the human revoltion!
October 3rd 2010 12:41 Pm
"We have explored less then 1% of the deep ocean."
We constantly hear of species going extinct. I have no doubt of this but the rea
son is no (i think) what everyone else believes it to be. It is usually stated t
hat our changeing the planet is considered why these species are going extinct b
ut I believe it is because, of not the change it self, but the rate of change. S
pecies can only adapt at a certain rate. So if were changeing things too quickly
and from too many different extremes its only natural that animals will not be
able to adapt quickly enough to survive the changes were makeing. However The de
ep ocean seems to escaped our changes and continues on its own time and it is be

cause of this that I hold a strong belief that life on this planet will continue
with or without us. It will rebuild it self working it's way up from the deep o
cean should we eradicate all surface life.
October 3rd 2010 12:45 pm
"In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn."
david suzki gave a talk at dal i went, we are air, the envirement IS the econome
y becasue the economey is derived from the enviroment. Lines we draw mean nothin
g.Our current gov is fucked, watch force of nature to see a similar talk. He is
a cool guy swears and is comfortable with life. The things that are truely valua
ble are the worthless ones. (memories sentimental value) growth is not good (I k
new this expnential videos) he says we are at the 59 minute already 60 testube s
if full of bateria 59 half full 58 25% etc... THis earth is not ours to use it b
eongs to future generations too! don't ebe selfish. in that sense. He soudned al
ot like me. It made me feel nomral :) I liked it! It seemed like he ws somone I
could have talked with to no end and about anything. He seemed like me.
October 4th 2010 9:44 PM
"Watched tarzan and ate hamburger roasted potatoes and peas, it was a close to a
religious experience as anyone can have psychotropic even!"
People need to go back to being that connected with nature. We need to remember
we are animals. I sound like suziki in broken reccord format. But I feel it! I g
ot bloody goosebumps. Phil Collins helped. But inside the Tarzan story is the ke
y to human survival on this planet, and it also shows us the power we have to be
more then then walkin tanks for squishy brain stuff. We can be genius tarzans a
nd janes each and everyone of us. We need to keep our tech and rebuild in a livi
ng way it will be rough for the first little bit but its entriely doable. Econom
ics needs to break suziki is soo dam right. Nothing I own defines me. Its the fe
eling of new discovery and my ablity to move in fluid ways, and my desire to sin
g and dance together and to share all these moments with others of my kind to s
ee happiness refelcted in the eyes of my fellow man. I care not for titles Man i
s what we are. It is the shortest title, and it most accurately describes us as
an animal. A man is creative, powerful, and fataly doomed to die by its own hand
s in the name of more. Knowledge and simple fulfilment are the most pure parts o
f life! Even the wisest amoung us must still dance, bleed and feel lonesome. Sat
ifying these desires while keeping our world alive is what we need to do. If we
want to prime the world for artificial intelligence while getting our selves out
of the way then this is it. Continue and we will become the architect of the "p
erfect race" by our own design. They won't feel lonesome, they won't take any re
asources more then they need. Our emotions are often said to be indescribable th
is is the universes greatests defense mechnisim. It keep us from programming our
machines with greed, lust, envy, happiness, sadness, pain, anger, pity, remorse
. Its thanks to this that the universe will be saved from a more resiliant plagu
e then our selves. We are soft weak and will fizzle out if need be. But machines
are anything but. Us in machine form would surely distroy the universe or the u
niverse would need to rise up aginst it to hope to have any chance at all. The s
cene when they play "Strangers like me" the look on tarzans face the general fee
ling is what we need to recapture and unlike tarzan we need to look not up but d
own and rexamine what is left of the world around us so as to see its true value
and perhaps save it and in so doing our selves.
October 18th 2010 2:00 Am (on the dot)
"randomly inspired to post on /sci/" OP said"How is it possible to happy if you
are intelligent? If you are intelligent, you are rational. If you are rational,
you realize you live life and then it's gone. Some say the journey is the happy
part, but how can you have a happy journey when you're intelligent? Intelligent
people are too stressed with work and study to be anywhere near as happy as thos
e who only work to live."

I said:
Happiness is perspective. No one can ever make you less happy unless they impede
your senses or basic bodily functions. Proveided you can preserve your self and
are given at least mental freedom you are the architect of your own happiness.
Being Intelligent means being able to turely understand what is going around you
and the complex dance of nature and superimposed human nature.
I can find happiness in looking at leaf's patterns and reveling in the color tha
t I can see. (I'm partially color blind) I know I will never see the same sun se
t as normal people however I still draw and paint what I <--- see. Being intelli
gent means haveing the power to create which pushes you beyond a mere Filter. Yo
u then control what other filters process, a turely astounding feeling. Even mor
e still is trying to unwravel even the simplist of individual study them study w
hy they do the things they do until you can predict patterns (don't fucking stal
k them you twat.) just be observant. ART do it! even if the art is a computer c
ode or a complex chemical reaction scientists are more atists then they will eve
r give them selves credit for
Now You do raise a point that is worth addressing. As you realize your smarter
(which IQ and other silliness is arguably non existent.) You will perceive negat
ive patterns which if you view them as such will certainty lower you happiness c
ompared to less observant people.
However again even pain is a form of experience and provided it is not so suffic
ient as to prevent you from fully experiencing it then you may revel in the expe
rience. Now. The world is a depressing place much of the pain that exists is not
physical. This pain is not the same and is truely negitive. For example being a
ware that the dimmer masses are acutioning off EVERYONE's freedom inexchange for
empty promises of security is truely a painful thing to endure. And due largely
to the current technology encourageing people to become filters instead of crea
tors, this lack of creativity leads to mental sterilization, and seeds of terrib
le ideas are easily sown in a sterilized mind.
I Offer a solution still people need to follow one simple rule for the bettermen
t of our whole race.
"Question Everything!"
two words... The solution to all our problems. I will explain.
If Everyone questioned everything then upon careful eximination they would reali
ze that Western Democracy is a cheap illusion and that in order to lead truely i
nriched lives PEOPLE need to actually be the ones creating the rules and guideli
nes which we are to follow.
Adopting a Deontological View of things would get us to the kind of world where
smart and dim alike would be more at home and more sustainable. Deontology has a
few tennents most important of which is to view others always as an end, never
ONLY as a means. what this says to us is that if you inform the person you wish
to use and (fully inform) they choose to willingly go along with your plan for t
heir own reasons without acting under false pretense then you have used them as
an end. This would solve a miraiad of problems which I will not get into here.
I use the word "people" above because As is your laws are made by a few select i
ndividuals. When the masses elect these few they vote in secret so as to not spo
il the vote. Yet the officials they elect vote publicly and in so doing so don't

vote the
move will
in way on
n standup

way they would naturally if allowed to do so anonymously. Their every

be critiqued and they stand to gain personal benefit by voting a certa
up coming proposals. Democracy is a Lie. Oddly watch some george Carli
he turely knew what was going on.

But back to happiness..... next post

Take drugs, weed, alchohol, tea. etc nothing hard. Cope but the key here is not
that you are useing the drugs as a crutch but instead that you use them simply f
or the experience. Everything around us is poison from our drinking water to our
toothpaste to our food. The average person has 1 pound of plastic incorporated
in their body this amount is expected to double by 2040~ Drugs are the least of
your worries, provided you have some will power.
Which brings me to the next point. Break your limits! Achieve against your self.
You going to die. So you better dam well not die for nothing! No matter what is
is, when you can't run anyfarther keep going, when your as high as you can get
get higher, when your as weak as you can be get stronger.
PROGRESS! BUT DON'T SET GOALS! if you set goals you will constantly be achieve t
hem or failing them either way your setting your self up to be an empty wall of
trophies. Break your limits but don't set out to break them, simply let them hap
pen. Aim at walking forward but not at where walking forward will take you.
Also GO OUT SIDE!~ in this day and age people are uber antisocial. You can't und
erestimate the power of just walking to no particular place and then talking to
a stranger! You will lead a happy and enriching life this way! Quit Video games
too! (if you have already skip this section) Video games are a cheap thrill that
appeals to the intelligent because you can easily accomplish many things, compa
red to science and other related fields where any accomplishment is fought for l
ong and hard. You get hooked on the competition or the rush of achievement but w
hen the game is off all that goes away. more next.
I'm hooked on video games But I'm working hard to quit them. It makes it even wo
rse when your aware your wasting time on them. And even more so when you realize
they are just DISTRACTIONS!
Thats right portable music, videogames, movies, depending on their content and r
ate of consumption they can be thought provoking or destructive. For many of th
e reasons I have highlighted Were living in a fucked up system. There are a gre
at many people who are profiting from our suffering/ignorance, and using us all
as a means not an end. As long as they keep us DISTRACTED we won't rise up. we w
ill be too busy trying to survive thats why there is so much paper work and dist
ance, and etc. Its to slow us down.
To keep our time focused on anything but thinking and talking face to face. (oh
as a side note Religion is bullshit too ) What little free time we have they try
very very hard to lead us to spend it doing things they tell us to. They show u
s that a free time should be spent out partying or drinking at a bar, or going t
o concerts or movies. Anything that shuts us up and prevents us from logically t
alking about the current situation. Twitter face book etc more ways of distract
ing you. If your checking statutes or blogs or posts every 10 seconds your not c
reating original thought!
Let me talk about originality for a moment, I toss originality around like a hol
y grail however, Any truly smart person should know that there is no such thing
as true originality. Originality represents the combination of already existing
ideas/concepts in a unique way! Read any science fiction novel and get them to
describe something thats is completely unique from anything known to humans its
impossible! Just TRY imagining a new base color. bet you end up with a muddled b
rown.

We simply don;y have the ablity to create anything truely unique however that do
esn't belittle Originality. Originality is brought into existence by problems.
Humans are the master of creating problems. We use originality to solve problems
its this progressive problem solving that leads to new forms human experience w
hich lead to more elements to combine to create new ideas! Originality is expone
ntial! (with a ceiling)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess in conclusion: Thinking critically is filled with rewards,
Art is good, people are stupid, Our current system is stupid, Religion is bad,
Drugs are cool, treat others with respect( even if its more then they deserve)
Talk face to face its more fulfilling, and the experience you have traveling to
meet them are worth it.
Be original ( or hide your sources well)
Break your own limits for no one but your self.
Share what you can of your self, in a meaningful way.
if you just want to work to live do it but try to keep doors open in case it's n
ot all its cracked up to be!
and Remember....
Your the Architect of your own Happiness.

October 26th 2010 11:40 pm

Adam asked the question: "Why do we have so many sub groups in life? Why do peop
le feel the need to belong to specefic groups with in groups? We all want to be
different but yet we don't.....
WHY?!"
I anwsered.

Because we won't give up! Were all going to die, so following that route of logi
c one could make the argument why bother trying to live?! Even if we don't diffe
rentiate our selves today or tomorrow perhaps by looking back on these days we w
...ill have differentiated our selves significantly, but regardless we do it bec
ause there are too many people out there and not enough time to meet them all. B
y forming subgroups you are more likely to meet like minded people and thus make
more effective use of what little time you have, because you don't have time to
meet everyone. Being in those subgroups allows you to create an identity for yo
ur self, and if its important to no one but your self you gain something by doin
g this.
They aren't original, they aren't groundbreaking, they aren't even all that diff
erent. At their root its people seeking people in the only way they know how. Th
ink of them as animals (which by the way we are) The different patterns attract
animals with similar patterns or who find your patterns attractive, and in so do
ing you have taken the finding them out of the picture! You are calling them to

you.
Not everyone who belongs in
up, so its the visible ones
e pass each other unnoticed
and from that untold wonder

a subgroup will LOOK like they belong in that subgro

that allow two like minded people who would otherwis
in the street to stop and maybe have a conversation
can bloom.

In the short term its silly. But people are silly beasts, and if we all just sto
pped once a while and realized this the whole world would be a lot better off. :
D

November 3rd 2010 10:44 pm

"Freedom is not, and can never be part of perfection."
---continuation november 22nd 2010 1:03 am---I believe I derived this from: Anything that is truely free is at at least some
sense not ordered, or preordained, perfection would need to be both perfectly or
derly and perfectly free at the same time which is contridictor. Unless somethin
g turely perfect some how breaks all the rules, but then by breaking the rules i
t also violates its perfection in rulefollowing. so you see freedom is but one e
xample of how prefection cannot be attained, but it is a stark and shocking one.

November 10th 2010 12:41 am

"We are more different then we ever imagined."
what if we were the result of guided evolution by bacteria, and our(our brains w
hich constitue what we are) sole purpose was to make our selves bigger so that w
e could later be feasted upon by bacteria. Thanks to our brains we collected all
the food around us into ourself and when we kick the bucket we create a variata
ble wallmart for lazy bacteria which don't want to move farther then they have t
o and lack the mobility to do so anyway. Increasing the total # of bacteria in e
xistance at any given time by ten fold thanks to the corpses we provide we creat
e small pocket explosions of bacteria which feast until there is nothing left to
feast on and then largely starve to death. However we evolved to be smarter the
n the bacteria, in more ways then one. Now we understand them well enough to tur
n them into cheese!Not to mention antibcterial soap! Way to go people, show em
who is boss! I donno is believeing bacteria are the masterminds of our universe
that crazy?! (or perhaps the insturment used by other aliens that harvest magica
l essence created only by dead bacteria on earth, and then use the dead bacteria
essence to preserve the balance of the universe?) Well I suppose its as ligit a
s a magical all powerful yet jelous invisible being who doesn't give a shit abou
t his creations after he tossed us his"only"(As if omnipotent beings only make o
ne child...) and when that didn't work out said meh with a, "givem a hand books
with a contradictory message and see how long it takes for them to kill each oth
er"-attitude. I will take super bacteria anyday. At least I can nuke the crap o
ut of them with a giant anti bacterial soap bomb! sad thing is im sober.... ;(
November 22 2010 12:14 am
"As the transparent bars draw nearer it becomes eaiser for the free prisioner to
see their previously obscured outline."
They have gone too far. I'm the indoctrination of their most recent test has irk
ed me enough to pull on the chain. I know of them and have always known of them.
Provided they kept up thier end and I kept up mine things went smoothly however
this recent push went too far. I feel the collar diggin in, the chains coiling,
and even now I feel them responding my back is tingleing, It took quitting vide

o games to remember why I started in the first place, to escape from the slavery
. To be free in at least some world and to choose my own master. I feel them tug
ging at me in a physical way this is not a metaphore it is a physical sensation.
travelling up and down my spine. to all and any who would read this know that w
e are not free. KNow that happiness can indeed be found within slavery however
you don't need to work within those regiems. You can escape it and still be happ
y likely evenmore so. If only they had kept it subtle. but To brazeingly slap me
in the face with it the have wasted one more slave. I wanted to put up with it.
To let it go on, unchallenged. My mind is getting foggy even now. I may never b
e the same. Let this and all other postsin this doccument stand as reccord of my
existance. THough even these they can access andm alter. I drink thier water I
eat thier food. You all do. This whole message will later be used as testiomoney
agisnt me. The only question I have left. Is who are they? which reason is the
primary one for them to do this to us all.
November 28th 11:21PM
"Psychic"
THere is no longer any doubt in my mind as to the existance of psychic powers or
psychich phenmonon. This is not however to give credit to the many fraudlents p
sychics. Instead I propose that psychic ablities are much much more subtle. Deja
vu is a form of psychic ablity I think. I know because I poesses it. I have alw
ays had frequent deja vu. Now of course rather then simply make a claim then use
self evidance to support it and some anactdote I will instead try to demonstrat
e it using experiment. Now due to the nature of the phenomon it will be difficul
t. I can't predict when I will have them however I can do my best to reccord the
m. See ususally I will have a dream about me doing seemingly normal things. My d
eja vu are not about anything dramatic or anything simply they might be about sm
elling a certain smell, in conjunction with seeing a certain sequence of events,
or being in a specific place and time. These psychic powers hold very little us
eful implication however more importantly is that they exist. IF they exist whic
h i now believe they do. What are the side implications? is there a way to make
them predictiable( ie harness a useless phenomon into something practical? Do we
even want to? ) the things I see into are harmless but if harnessed could be li
fe shattering. Also I have noted that my deja vu have become more and more exten
ded when I was younger they would only be about 1 or 2 secconds but now they can
be ~20- 25 secconds long. because of their length I often predict movements or
things I will do. Then I find my self being compelled to do them very very stron
gly. The feeling I would describe is like that of balanceing on a rale. You want
to keep on the rale because to avoid the feeling of falling. So by doing the th
ing you predicted you avoid that feeling but the closer you come to doing anythi
ng but the more the feeling of falling increases until you over come it and it i
nstantly vanishes. like passing through an invisible wall. Again due to the natu
re of the phenomon I only know the predicted sequence is happening when it is ha
ppening. so I need to write down any predicted moments and hope for a seccond ag
ent to be involved. That way I can say, " I predicted this with you here." and t
hen show them the dated written prediction of the event, and what details I have
down that way they can see I did predict the situation. again the phenomon it s
elf is of little worth its the stuff that is causing it that is important. It co
uld lead to a large discovery about the state of the universe and possibly open
up a new realm of human experience.

Feb 8th 2011 2:30 Am

Our current economic and political systems are long term system that is driven b
y people with short term motives. ( SHort term can even be a lifetime, its still
short term compared to the supposed indefinate lifespan of political and ecomic
systems.) Using such a system is only destined for failure or a crash. You don'

t need to know when this crash will happen only that it will, because any indefi
nate system is definately bound to fail be it of purely human origin.
feb9th 2011 10:12 PM
When you blow on water why does it make a shadow? my guess is it has something t
o do with the way your distorting the water on the surface makeing it thicker th
en other parts and causes to it to refract or reflect more light.
Find out the real anwser someday...
Feb 28th 2011 9:35
"some how Im me again"
I feel alive right now more so then I have in a long long time and now Im thinki
ng some silly/not so silly things but I think we should live our lives the other
way around. Childhood should be retirement were free to do what ever we want ti
ll we hit 25 then we begin school and work for the rest of our days. etc Life is
more alive as a child as a senior we are only consumers in our free time. The s
ystem was set up this way but it is in my opinon how things should be. I may cha
nge my mind later about this but we are all of us free to make such choices howe
ver its best to make them while we still can. Mr. MacKay was right Pink floyd re
ally was the greatest band in the world. Im sober and happy. Two rarely found wo
rds.
March 10th 2011 time unknown ( I have coverd all the clock right now to motivate
me)
"A facebook message promted by something andrew said about how cool his dad was,
and my current assignment which is breaking me I felt this needed to be saved."
"To be honest I doubt any of us will ever be as cool as our dads they grew up in
a different time and as a result got to do stuff we never will. As in most of w
hat they did is super unaccessible or straight up illegal and people are so sepa
rate now a days due to the internet and stuff we will never have the kind of cha
nce meetings and adventures they had. Its a shame really.
What I can say is that we will be way cooler then the next generation. And that
trend is likely to continue with each previous generation being far superior/coo
ler then one that follows. So get out there and adventure and stuff while people
are still allowed to touch each other without supervision! Were making our soci
ety so safe with each passing generation that soon any unregistered supervised c
ontact with another life form will be deemed too dangerous to be allowed to take
place! I'm exaggerating at little...or am I?
You know what I hate more then anything in the world. Knowing you won't be able
to do something given the constraints that are set before you. Knowing for a pro
ject or a task you set that given the surrounding preconditions there is no prac
tical way for you to complete what your trying to do. Its one of the worst feeli
ngs in the world. Be it time, or rules, physical capability, whatever. Knowing t
here exists things you cannot do at that particular moment in time sucks a big o
ne.
I will not be able to finish this assignment to satisfaction by 5 tomorrow. I kn
ow that. But I fret away time and stress over it despite that over all its only
worth 7.5 % of my mark yet, despite this those consecutive 7.5%s add up enough t
hat I will likely barely pass this course despite that I am often the only one i
n the class able to answer the questions he asks us. Despite that I can get mark
s in the top 3 on his exams I will leave the course with at best a 60 some % mar

k. School given the way it is set up puts analogue people through a digital syst
em and assigns their whole outward being a flat digital grade/denomination of wo
rth. Its a disgusting atrocity that we allow to go on at a continual pace. Yet w
e are left saying if it weren't for school how would we be educated? how would w
e grow as people? And because we have no immediate answer to these questions we
allow the current mockeries of structure and reason continue to rein.
I'm sorry. None of this helps anyone, least of all me. Im not going to drink log
an's beers because I said i wouldn't and that is reason enough, besides I have m
y own Tartan ale which is a sweet sweet kind of wonderful.
I just know at least to me If I was just set in a job somewhere I would learn wh
at I need to do an amazing job of whatever Im working on, and wouldn't need to f
eel these terrible feelings all the time when your stuck with your back against
the wall trying to do something you don't know how to do to please a bunch of id
iots who couldn't care if you lived or died tomorrow. Each course you take is li
ke another full time job. If you were doing just one or even two you could learn
what you need to do great on everything and feel good about your self instead o
f just trying to snag points wherever you can in order to do OK in everything.
I feel like I am spread to thin to make anything I do have any value or represen
tation of me. I don't like this sort of multitasking I would much rather just pu
t my whole body and mind to one task and make it count, then a myriad of things
that will simply be discarded once someone who might not even work as hard as I
would tosses some arbitrary number on it that is supposed to represent me and my
work.
There is a large likely hood I suffer from at least one mental illness and for t
hat reason I seem to need to work harder then normal on most things or need more
time to do most things then everyone else and despite the extra effort that mys
elf or others put into things only the final product is evaluated. Even if you s
how your work along the way there is no way to show all the time you spent deadl
ocked or the time you spent trying to learn the realated background information
or the various life issues that popup while your working that force you to put w
ork aside to deal with them. No way to show the extra effort required to bring y
ou self to work on something despite being stressed or sick or distracted by rel
ationships.
I guess school isn't for me or my type of people. But were forced to attend just
to be able to gain the PRIVILAGE To work like a slave till we are physically un
able to continue. All so that we can survive in a somewhat comfortable homeostas
is. When your aware of all this it makes doing anything for those people seem li
ke an insurmountable task simple because you know your wasteing your life and ti
me.
Your life = time. And your time is your life. To trade any of them in exchange f
or something that isn't EXACTLY What you want/need to live happliy is a cronic w
aste. Everyday I walk past hundreds of people who are extremely talented yet soc
iety has them pushing pencils on papers that will be discarded in short order ra
ther then haveing them all build something of worth to themselves, society and f
uture generations. WE could instead evaluate them as they work and based on what
they contribute.
I need to stop. I need to go toil for some small imaginary points to contribute
to some grand imaginary letter they will rubber stamp on my forhead when I gradu
ate. I am just tired of makeing my self physically and mentally sick to earn tha
t letter.

I over heard a guy saying he was takeing 4 tynol3's before he goes to be just to
be able to sleep because he can't sleep thinking about all the things could/sho
uld be doing for his 5 classes. People are killing them selves or at least damag
eing them selves for this fucking mark. And that story is not alone. And sleep d
epravation is so common amoung university students its sickening literally. Loga
n can tell you what damage depriveing your self of sleep does. its worse then be
ing drunk for your body.
I see it every day. people caged by their own basic need for self preservation.
Gandhi said few things I agree with but one of them was that, "Poverty is the wo
rst form of violence." We live underconstant threat of poverty while in universi
ty we dig ourselves deeper every day so that we can one day be promised freedom
from the poverty we created on our way there. its like saying you will be free i
f you dig though to the other side of the earth. Sure its true. But you were on
the top of the earth to start with! Every day you dig you put your self further
from where you started and then have to work that much harder to get back to wha
t you already had! That may not be perfectly analogous but you get the point.
I really do need to stop. Dj barletta is playing at the paragon tomorrow night I
want to go but after this I doubt I will have the motivation to so much as move
tomorrow night. :(
"We all live in cages, but only a lucky few get to touch the bars."
/end of facebook message"
MArch 28th 2011 8:51PM (There is likely little of worth in here mostly a venting
)
"Your not allowed to be a person yet."
Since I have been a child I have always been a child. I supposed we must remain
children until our parents die. Then we must remain young until the old people d
ie. But the one carrot on the end of the stick we keep chaseing our whole lives,
or at least I do, is freedom. I have never had it and always wanted it. You thi
nk to your self when i am 19 I will have freedom because I can drink finally aft
er years of seeing others who are supposedly in the same league as you being all
owed it is finally your turn and suddenly you have no one around to do it with.
They have all grown tired of drinking, just when your finally allowed. It has be
en this way my entire life I am always behind the curve for some logistic and no
n physical or real reason. I was just as capable of drinking when I entered univ
ersity, however I could not because of age. Now I find yet again I am a 20 year
old man who has worked for everything in his life and still lack the basic freed
oms to make decisions about my own life. Yet I am expected to live it to success
. How can you live a successful life if you cannot have any control over it. How
can you dodge a bullet when it comes if you are glued in place until given the
order to march out of the way.There really is NOTHING quite like the feeling of
not being in control over the only thing you really own. Its can be the most fre
eing feeling in the world or the most dreadful feeling in existance. A kind of g
rinding aginst the pit of your soul. I say soul be cause you can feel it but you
feel it almost out side your self. Like you cannot place its exact point of ori
gin. Like something is slowly scooping our the inside of your soul and you can f
eel its pull across every fiber of your being and know that given you don't even
have control of your own life you have no means of stopping it. You are being l
iterally raped of the only thing you can really call your own. Yet the entire ti
me you know the only thing allowing this to happen are the invisible constructs
of society. You know you can break free of it but at the cost be expelling your
self from any sort of comfort for the remainder of your life. Being an outcast.
Which wouldn't be quite so bad if society didn't seek to purge anyone that doesn
't play by its rules. It truely is a horrifying procedure the likes of which you
will retain scars from for the duration of your being. Even now I after experie

nceing it I have absolutely no motivation to do anything whatsoever. I feel nega

tive motivation. I want to do less then something and thus disable others from r
etaining owner ship over me. It is disgusting. Those who had the most freedom in
the past now seek to enforce absolute control over the next greneration and the
cycle continues with each passing generation retaining less and less of the fre
edom of the previous generation. Something has to give.
MArch 31st 2011 3:32 Am
"Let there be Light!"
I finally got a chance to read your article on schooling, nothing super exciting
ly new. Just more a of a painful reminder. Though I had never heard of Prussia I
may need to look into that further.
Again everyone is aware of the problem but no one seems to be doing anything to
fix it. And school children are not alone politics/sport all these things are ag
ain designed to keep the populace happy and feeling some sense of unity and cont
rol.
We surrender control upon being born according to current society. We accept tha
t certain "Services" will be provided and there will be costs. However I signed
no such agreement! None of us did. And yet we live in a democratic country?
Again bullshit. The problem lack of organization and a temporary pause. If every
one was gathered reminded of these problems and then the whole system was put on
hold for approximately a week two groups would emerge.
Those who would take it upon them selves to further change and live the way the
human race should be living (in my opinion) and a 2nd group which would struggle
desperately to rebuild the constraints of society in order to receive orders an
d directions because they are unable to function without them.
The whole "go to work, send your kids to school, follow fashon, act normal, wal
k on the pavement, watch tv, save for your old age, obey the law, repeat after m
e I am free." Sthick
Really their MUST be like minded people out there, but its like trying to observ
e quantum physics you never see the people them selves only the ripples of the t
he things they effect. A small bit of grafitti here, a panphlet there, a anynomo
us blog post.
All these free minded people, (and not the idiots that just preach freedom and z
ietgist just because its a easy way to seem intelligent, sorry logan your pal th
ere is out) but the people that REALLY NEED there to be a change that refuse to
live this way any more! FUck I don't really have any desire to lead such a chang
e but I dam well would if it would mean it would happen! And it's that exact exp
ression that so many people are willing to lead just to see it happen, they just
want it to happen.
From there the collected group can buy out an island somewhere with all their mo
ney because we likely won;t need it or just a big chunk of land some where and t
ell the "civilized" world to leave us alone and declare our selves neutral from
all affrairs and exist in a free thinking utopia. Yes there will be problems, an
d No I don't have the anwsers for how they will be over come.
But I do know the last bits of originality and genius are like people stranded d
uring winter, they are slowly but surely being frozen to death by the icy winds
of society, and without the spark to light the fire that will bring them togethe
r long enough to devise a plan to survive the winter. They are as good as dead a
nyway. (without that fire)

SO LET THERE BE LIGHT!

May 6th 12:24 2011

"YOu can't mass produce everything....practally!"
Genius is the direct result of a precise combination of elements events and subj
ective contexts. When you truely expeience what you precieve to be (or is precev
ed by others to be) a work/act of genius, your first reactional conculsion will
likely be (after a few smaller shock and awe mental statements.) This must be re
peated! I must experience this again! I must contribute towards the existance of
this experience even if it is not for my self. It must be recreated! So you say
, "ok, what elements were involved and try to think of ways to have others re-ex
perience that same sequence and hopefully it will result in them experienceing w
hat I did, Heck it could even be sold!" The problem with this however is the exp
erience it self was subjective. And at the very best you can hope to recombine t
hose elements to have it effect the same person who started it, or showed you, o
r allowed you to experience it, in the first place.
To get to that same point I believe is possible for everyone. However I doubt th
at getting there is the same for anyone. However I do believe the more people ar
e exposed to situations like that the more likey they are to experience them aga
in. Its an everything clicks moment. And not just for the so called genius but f
or everyone else in direct communicaton with them as well. Proper genius in any
form is so simple any "laymen" can understand it because it is presented using i
ts simplest experssion and terms that are based on now, or non specific algorith
ms for historical events. (never the historical events them selves.) Using Thing
s like," you know how event x happens when you do Y?" Other cases of having to r
emind us of history are usually a sign of fools gold.
One thing that is the most obvious is the need to share. BOth that you will get
and that the "genius is experienceing" Genius is of little worth when kept withi
n it self. (provided there is no outward expression) if genius is self contianed
and(seprate event,aka non continous use of "and") only ever expressed in its mo
st complext invokation, it will be useable only by the genius them self. Provide
d their genius creates an effect without discloseing it self, and it used to pro
pagate it self within, and each time expressing it self outward, then it is good
, then it is justified.
When I say out I mean just that it effects people. Not in the selfless (selfless
is non existant anyway but I digress) giveing back to the community socialism (
lol). Also btw I never Go back and edit I edit about one line back as I go somet
imes. and The things in brackets are not backwards edits but written liniar as I
go.
Actually identifying it when it happens is not nearly as hard as making it happe
n. But trying to describe it is like a gesture drawing. You see it as a whole so
you cannot focus in on any one aspect, yet you understand the whole all at once
and as such it cannot be broken down due to its connectivity. Also because of t
his complex structure we lack the general words and terms to describe it! We wou
ld need to make new ones but even the making of those terms would need to be a s
imultainous act of genius.
PEople are all that matters in our human world. Understand them as best as you c
an. There are no human patterns as far as the human animal is concerned. (exculd
eing the base biology. this statement is flawed but here ) However the only prec
ieved patterns as a result of the animal reacting to its special enviroment, but
this is not to say people are predictible. On the contarary I think if we can u
nderstand exactly what this unpredictablity spawns from we will have solved a mu

ch more important question.

However This whole concept is unclear because while psychology is largely unappl
icable, it still manages to
bed hard limit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------The Addendum from work starts here
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------May 18th 2011 3:05Pm
A quote by Terence McKenna's final interview
"It makes life rich and poignant. When it first happened, and I got these diagno
ses, I could see the light of eternity, a la William Blake, shining through ever
y leaf. I mean, a bug walking across the ground moved me to tears."
I emphasize the last part every thing after "A la william blake" This is
how I have lived my life for as long as I can remember. To this day my world ha
s been a whirl of emotions and unusual reactions to what would normally be deeme
d ordinary. I am in not siginificantly special. It is really all a matter of pre
ception. I guess I some how escaped seeing the "normality" in things just becaus
e they are everywhere. On a single tree there may be hundreds or even thosands o
f leaves, but that doesn't detract from any single one of them. Each is unique-i
sh enough that somone with an intrest or even a casualy examining eye could obse
rve and experience joy.
The thing is on that tree there will be many leaves that I find less int
resting then others and if i were to sort all those leaves into various piles an
d grade them based on my intrest A. I would be playing a fools game because each
and every one could dynamically become more intresteing depending on the level
at which i examined it. B. future me(me three seconds or three minutes days etc.
..) from now would likely sort those into different piles again. and finally C.
The way I would sort those piles would still be drastically diffrent from how so
mone else would.
You could even spend vast amounts of time trying to examine the differen
t sortings of different people of the same set of leaves! The point here is you
are only limited by the scope at which you ALLOW your self to experience the wol
rd around you. If you think about it all in levels/scales it all becomes very si
mple.
The levels them selves are not really pre-defeined and are completely an
alouge, and each individual's levels can exist at different spaces, but the phys
ical world largely defines the minimum and maximum range the levels can occupy.
Then you choose where you want to exist at any one time. Then depending on which
level you are at you take in different things from the world, as things become
more and less relivant to you based on the level you are at.
So here come the metaphores. My(northamerican) Society/culture itself te
nds to hover around a certain small range of levels it grows and shrinks dependi
ng on the season/year. So just as a light year has relatively few practical appl
ications or effects on a single human life, the same can be said of the depth yo
u experience things. If you lock your self to one level or small range of levels
you can quickly become bored unless stimulated by new things that are designed
to or regualarly exist on that same level. However should you become bored simpl
y extend your level range(if you have the mental capacity to do so, and I believ
e most people do) or if this is too difficult simply move down one level. Then y
ou suddenly find that even thought the subject (OR-intentional cap- physical wor

ld) has not changed it suddenly has much more to offer you, and you it.
Even worse if you allow your self to only experience the predefined leve
ls/range your soceity or culture puts before you then you can easily beocome mat
erialitic and other things which may or may not be desireable. I would also like
to point out that althought being materialistic has many negative connotations,
there is nothing inherntly evil about it!
It is simply a different way of existing. And you can also be materialis
tic on many different levels. I get very possive about the simpleist of things b
e it a guitar pick, a pencil, a bit of cloth I liked, heck I picked up a strange
spoungy pad in a clear plastic wrapper once, it was clean, new, and was just an
odd thing. I took it out of the wrapper plopped it into one of the pockets of m
y favorite leather jacket. It has lived there successfully for about 3-4 years n
ow. I squeeze it when my hands get cold or just to keep my hand busy in the pock
et, and feel the texture. Someone saw it one day and asked me why I was keeping
a ladies makeup power applicator in my pocket and I responded, "oh is that what
it is? I Like it." I could go on but its sunny for the first time in a week or s
o and you can figure out the rest.
May 24th 2011 12:16PM
"We're not animal enough"
In our constant quest for progress I believe we have infact finally succeded in
largely "civilizing" and "Declawing" mankind. (mankind still sounds[[Likely only
because I grew up hearing the term]] better then humankind. And I mean come on
really... Gingerbreadperson... political correctness is killing poetry, but that
is another topic.) Though I could have said humanity. But then were presented w
ith the cold hard reality that even the word human "HU-MAN" is derived from man.
Even the word "WO-MAN" So really there is absolutely no point in political gend
er correctness...It just leads to bad english, that doesn't sound right most of
the time any... meh.
The point being, if I haven't completely killed it, is that in our prepetual eff
ort to differentiate our selves from the "animals" (lots of air quotes) we have
finally done it. Any alien coming to this planet would certiantly need to look a
t our biology in order to even guess that we were related. Now I know many of th
ose animal drives are still the underlieing cause of our actions, however we hav
e siginficantly "dressed up" the expressions of those drives to the point of the
ir origion being near unrecognizeable.
It is this I believe that has lead to the increased amount of depression and anx
iety in the modern "civilized" world. The people who were previously the alpha H
umans( here I say human not for political correctness but because I firmly belie
ve that up until recently the more animal humans tended to succeded the most, al
so I don't mean alpha like alpha male, I mean it like good at being human in my
opinion) are suddenly finding the world confuseing and the ways they used to do
things are suddenly illegal or taboo. It's very apperarent. Were so reserved now
that even when we "cut loose" it is childs play compared to what our parents an
d their parents would have done in the same situation. We have effectively been
tamed. But despite the outward taming evolution hasn't had time to catch up and
we are still very much animal on the inside.
How society has delt with the inner animal is not to remove it, because this is
too daunting a task and it is useful to maniuplate this animal for thier desires
. Instead they have wrapped it in layer upon layer, and as the layers are added
the animals movement becomes restricted. Now what was there to keep the animal f
rom tearing these layers off you ask? simple, Kindness, and love.
What are the first imposed layers that bind us from executeing our animal desire
s? Love of our family. This layer has been there for a long time and it is the f

irst and most integral to what made us succeded a the dominant species in the fi
rst place. But obviously this layer is not inherently dangerous. Love prevents u
s from attacking or stealing from our family. But the key is to continue wrappin
g us, but to trick us into beliveing that all the layers are connected and shoul
d you pull at the outermost you will eventually lose the innermost being love. S
o They continue this layering process each time attaching the thread on to the e
nd of the previous layer and each time they use a coarser thread and once enough
layers have been applied they can use the metaphorical equivilent of barbed wir
e. But we tollerate it becaues we feel Need those first layers so badly and hone
stly believe one cannot exist without the other.
The barbed wire keeps us in check but it is rooted deep into love. So deep that
to remove it will remove our love which we cannot live (resonably ----I don't li
ke this word but have no choice) without. The sticky issue is that what may have
started out as a ruse has quickly become truth when endorsed by enough people o
ver time. Because everyone else also believes in this structure it can make it r
eality so when you disobey society and break the law, in order to nourish an ani
mal desire, you had to first remove the outer layer to get the mobility to do so
. Your family believes all the layers are connected so you will inreality face t
he possibly of loseing that primal layer of love should they find out you remove
d that outer layer, and suddenly you will be left naked, to die cold, and alone.
So there is the problem. I now Present the solution. The key is to find the corr
ect amount of layers. Just enough to keep you warm and comfortable, while still
keeping some of the more extreme movements in check, but still being loose enoug
h to allow some mobility. Right now were having a meltdown, from too many layers
and too little movement. People feel out of touch with nature, and inso doing a
re in a very real way out of touch with our selves.
So reguardless of my solution, the likely reality of the future is one of two se
narios. We sever this connections completely some how and thus no longer feel th
e loss(this raises many philosophical questions of correctness, however should t
his be the path taken, I doubt the ones executeing the plan will consider) or tw
o go backwards a bit so as to properly reconnect and actually show people how to
cope. (now) there should be a class for children and adults specifically focuse
d on finding your balance and place in/with nature. However it is still sad that
this is nessary. But again given out current settings I believe it is.
I cannot speak for things I don't my self feel. Which is why I feel I am allowed
to talk about this. I feel this daily. I see people experiencing what I believe
to be this same phenomon. I wish only that everyone can find peace with this is
sue, but I recognize that is becomming ever more difficult for people to do so.
SO while we likely cannot solve this issue Awareness (cliche I know) is the plac
e to start and focus on makeing it easier to connect not harder. But I don't see
this happening I am not a crazy earth hippy who choses to make nature their ide
nity just to have a clique. Nor am I someone who supports super clear cutting of
our world and its reasources. I am a purely practical person in this reguard (t
hough i lean a genrous amount towards the trees) It is simple common sense that
we're are still an animal for the time being and the direction of our current ha
bitat is not meeting our needs and thus is causing discontentment, that cannotbe
filled anyother way that I am aware of.
I just hope this is recognized before it is too late. (so publish this you bloom
ing idiot ...shhheish)
May 25th 2011
"In general it's not that artists need inspiration, its that we fail to act on i
t."
I am inspired all the time, and only end up makeing about 0.1% of them into real
ity. Often times I quickly paint them in my head or see the whole thing at once

in my head, and that is as far as it goes. I can't beign to tell you how many (i
n my opinion) great paintings will only ever exist on little scraps of paper oft
en less then a couple square inches... So I say again. I don't think artists nee
d inspiration. That is all around us. I think we need to be less lazy, and take
more chances. I frequently see pictures in my head that (as of right now) I know
I wouldn't ever be able to do justice to, and then don't paint them for that re
ason. Which I know is a terrible reason! But it happens all the same.

3:47Pm May 30th 2011

"Society as a reflection of biology" inspired by Dupre fill this out later.
12:09 PM June 13th 2011
"The best defense is a good offense."
The reason problems seem to never be solved in our society despite their existin
g for years is because, we only pay attention to the problems we are currently d
ealing with. If something plagued us in the past or when we were younger then we
don't usually focus much energy with it because we have survived it and moved o
n. However what this does is it allows problems that should not be allowed to e
xist to plague future generations then like us they will suffer through them and
move on and say,"I did my time, it's not my problem any more."
This even applies to the economy. Say your poor as a student. (as most are) Then
you realize how expensive school is or even alcohol, yet you suffer through it
then move on up, pay off your student loan and suddenly you couldn't care less.
Now take alcohol ( the reason I am focusing on it is because while I could use t
he same senario with student loans as the subject it would not demonstarte my po
int as effectively.)
because we pass through the system and are makeing enough money to afford alcoho
l we don't worry about it. However if we had continued to complained about how m
uch it was after we graduated and could afford it the price would have to go dow
n. Instead because we don;t complain the alcohol producers are allowed to set th
e price point to within the salery of a wealthy university graduate. This forces
anyone who wants to have alcohol to pay the same price which is designed for so
mone who has a great successful job. All because the people at the top don't com
plain the entire system needs to suffer and this is the basis of why we think we
need growth! As the upperlimit of wealth is raised then the prices of the produ
cts will raise to keep pace with the people who can afford them. So the producer
s of these products price them as high at the absolute maximum that the middle c
lass can actually afford them. They can get away with it though because the uppe
r class doesn;t complain.
Overall actually the world needs more complaining. There is no doubt that compla
ining alone gets nothing done. However complaining creates the fertile ground fo
r change to take root. However ignoreing the problem allows the cement of those
who would extort the masses to set. I wish the same people who say, "you don't v
ote you don't get to complain" would urge everyone to have their voice heard if
they wish to see change in non goverment sanctioned ways... Actually that statem
ent in and of it self is something which bothers me. It was created to try and a
gain quiet the masses. I didn't vote therefor I no longer get to have an opinion
??! Can anyone really be that arrogant, and blatently stupid? Anyone who truely
desires change or democracy should urge everyone everwhere all the time to be as
LOUD AS THEY POSSIBLY CAN! And to tell anyone to be quiet, or that they don't g
et an opinon because they didn't jump through the right hoops to allow them to s
ign a tiny piece of paper with preselected options is the true enemy of democara
cy and all that it stands for.
What's worse is that people cannot see this for them selves as they say these th

ings. The sheer blindness of everyone is staggering. And the same people who ran
t and rave about politics during election time suddenly drop off the map two mon
ths afterwards. And the same people who supposedly are passionate about choosein
g a particular party take their loss sitting down afterwards. I can't think of a
single person who wanted Stephen harper to win the elecetion. Yet when he won a
majority instead of riseing up to voice their opinion they just sat down and sa
id, " man this sucks now were stuck with him for another X years." Its absolutel
y mind boggeling.
I cannot honestly tell if we're all simply so detatched from one another that we
cannot move or if we just sincerly don't care. Personally I have yet to find th
e right avenue to effect change, and know how hostile the system is towards anyo
ne who seeks to change things so I stay my hand until I have the means to suppor
t my self at the minimun before I dive head long into a campagin to destroy the
state. However, if I was connected enough with like minded people I would in a h
eartbeat join or create a movement to do just that. Which leave me asking the fi
nal questions.
Are we all really that alone? And if so how do we fix it?
June 17th 2011 9:59Am
"The reason why it's easier to draw from another persons drawings, and other tan
gent minded things"
For a long time Now I have always drawn from other drawings or painted images. N
ow that I am finally good enough at that I am moveing on to creating more origin
al works, and What I am discovering is that before when your just coping a pictu
re you only working in 2d. Even if it's a 3D subject to you all your doing is ma
tching marks on a 2D plane so of course its easier. As soon as you start constru
citing things your self from real life things are much more difficult because yo
u need to make that translation from 3D to 2D your self while mainting the illus
ion of 3D on a 2D plane. It's actually quite amazing. It's also very difficult.
Oddly enough I have found doing logic derivations with CSL, CLS+ etc(fitch style
) seems to help. Im not certain how but some how it seems to get the cogs spinni
ng just as well as if I had been doing practice sketches for a hour or so. And i
n many cases I am finding my overall thinking better. (also working on removeing
subvocalization within thought and that helps speed things up too) I know that
what I want is to be good at art/an art. be it music acting, painting etc. I jus
t need one. And spreading my self too thin across them all is not a road to happ
iness but to dissapointment as your forced to compare your self agianst more poo
ls of people. Thus you end up failing more in your eyes or theirs. WHich leads t
o a lack of motivation which leads to not doing anything which leads to disatisf
action of self.
I explained all that before I Believe however its intresteing to note how short/
concise I managed to explain it this time around. Things are indeed changing. Ba
ck on topic, If I begin thinking about the pictures I am makeing ( even if they
are just copies) as actual 3D objects I think it will dramatically improve the o
ver picture. Because in most any copy I have made there tends to be an area wher
e I simply cannot duplicate the brushstroke. But the Problem is that I was tryin
g to duplicate the brush stroke in the first place. If I understand the 3D subje
ct matter my self i have no need to duplicate the brush stroke exactly(In realit
y I never try to duplicate the brushstroke as that is boring but I do tend to st
ick close to the blue print and only go on tangets when there is a sections cont
aining elements that might be preceieved as random like feathers or hair etc.)
What Im getting at is if i am having trouble painting the cheek, I need to think
of it as a cheek not just as a blob of paint or a string of lines. There is but
one caveate in my plan. I need to first understand 3D structures well enough to

make thinking of things in terms of 3D useful. Otherwise I am just saying a bun

ch of meaningless phrases.
So i need to practice geometry and then when I hit a stopping block I need to st
op. Break the subject down into its basic geometry and then using that basic geo
metry refine it to the custom shapes needed for the pictures. Its from this line
of thinking that I will create succesful lighting and from there over half of t
he real "WORK" is done. Also to make it perfectly clear I don't think I understa
nd light value of basic geometry well enough to use it at the moment.
After all Color is subjective. Value on the other hand is not.
June 17th 2011 3:06
"Scars thurst you into the role of a living monument to/of the events, and peopl
e that gave them to you. To look at them in another way is to cheat their creato
r, and likely yourself. Each one should represent a lesson learned, or a sacrifi
ce made.
Remember, in this universe (at human scale), Things only build, never take away.
Even precieved distruction is construction, you need only look to see it."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------End of Work addendum
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

September 11th 2011 6:30PM

"Depth..."
Its been too long since I have written here. But in reality I have had few ideas
worth writeing about. I have lived on auto piolet for a while now. It is high t
ime I reclaimed my senses. To be fair I have reccorded other ideas that I will i
ncorperate to this later.(see above)
But depth is the reason I am here now. I live my life (When I am really alive) l
ooking for depth where there is none, or making depth for my self. Precption is
indeed everything but depth should be more then just a precived notion. It shoul
d be real! However if it were I supposed everything would lose its "taste" or "f
lavor" as we could no longer interpert things for our selves. I want there to be
more of a reason then what we're told our goal should be. Life shouldn't have g
oals, it should instead be a series of expereinces, some which we may choose wil
lingly and others that will simply happen and we may take note of if we so choos
e and are capable to precieve!
The more I write the more i realizes the futility of my persuit of this topic, a
s everything I am describing or longing for already exists. But the party I have
left out is the other thing that exists parisitically with all these pure and t
rue notions. And that is the thin but impossibly strong viel that is society, an
d its rules and demands it would impose on us. Society became this way as a resu
lt of a compounding of our ancestors greed. While no one person is to blame, (al
beit some are more deserving of blame then others) it is instead that all those
little moments of greed collected and were aplified over time. Time is truely a
great friend and ally to greed. For it is only with the help of time and our fin
ite planet which allowed greed to reach this stage! (and in the case of the fini

te planet without it greed at any scale, wouldn't exist in the first place!)
I also asked my self a question today and realized just how domesticated I have
become. I asked "If I were completely free, of all debuts, obligations and ties.
What would I do?" I didn't know the anwser to that question. "Exist, and try to
create." Was the anwser I gave. However This anwser is perhaps too inprecise. a
nd at the time I couldn't even come up with that simple anwser. It shows how sim
ilar I am to a zoo animal born into capativity. Neither of us is really to blame
for being unable to anwser this question. It is simply that we cannot imagine a
world without the ties, obligations and debuts we're born into... Trying to anw
ser that question is like trying to concieve of a new color! (try it some time,
you always end up with an odd brown. or nothing at all....) Because things like
color and truly free existance are sooo basic that they are the combinatorial el
ements of imagination! And thus far we humans are at any given time limited in o
ur imaginings by our tools set. Or base elemets of our imagination. Nothing can
be imagined that is completely unrealted to anything we have precieved. Its a di
fficult notion to grasp. I need to give some credit to carl segan for helping me
with that. However Im certain he has somone else to thank for it as well.
Thus humans exist by building on the past. Its a great strength and likely to be
our major downfall. As any instablity in the early stages is magnified as time
marches on... I just hope we can correct it before its too late.

September 16th 2011 11:16AM

"The key difference between classical and (very modern) modern music"
Is that classical was built/modeled on the world, and its emotions, while newer
music seems to poessess a disconnect between the real world and the music. The m
usic exists seprately, thus is more difficult to connect to. However both serve
a distnct purpose and as long as we recognize the difference, and play both in t
heir respective context, there is no reason one person cannot enjoy both generes
. (classical and electronic or modern pop) However Classical is siginificantly m
ore human overall I feel."

September 20th 2011 12:43 AM

"Doing work, Fixin' starts with you!"
So... Had a minature mental break down right after I turned 21 (I wasn't even aw
are the clock had gone past 12 at the time and it was really just a coincidence,
that it lined up with other things on my mind at the time) Basically the proble
m all this time is I have been alone. It started early when my friends all lived
out of town. I never had anyone to hang out with out side of school without dri
veing to go see them. Which set the pace for the years to follow. I spent more a
nd more time alone I wanted someone or something to keep me company that somone
I turned to virtual characters and lives to fill that gap. Then As I grew older
I got less and less involved with even community or team events out side of scho
ol. Further confineing my self. All this time spent alone (fastforward to now) I
have been living along in university for a long time now, even more so this las
t year I have been COMPLETELY and totally alone. I never went home for the summe
r either which had a large role in that.
For a long time I viewed people who could never stand to be alone for any period
of time as weak. I still think that. However I recognize that a certain amount
of contact is nessary for anyone. I started experienceing the same kinds of symp
toms that peolple in maximum security areas have, and Couldn;t figure out where
it was coming from. But basically its all a result of how alone I have been then

recently with nicole That completely flipped. I went to the oppisite extreme no
t just with her around but with the types of things we were doing. It was really
healthy. In anycase since she went away on her trip I lost that and it really s
ucked. And it has created a sort of culture shock effect. Kind of like you don;t
notice how lonely/self segregated you were until until you go to the oppsite to
remember what it is like and be able to contrast it!
The moral of the story is Isolation leads to insanity; While Being surrounded wi
th people leads to a super normal.(a state that is too normal, like nuclear fami
ly not thinking consumerism type dealio, in genearl the more people you have aro
und you the less deeply you need to think)
But within insanity is the core of creative thinking/phiolosophy, because your m
ind lacking stimuli starts tearing your world view apart, and inserting randomne
ss to create its own stimuli.
So it truely again comes to balance. But it is tricky finidng that. Nicole was o
ver the top exposure to people too quick, it was the right amount, but it happen
ed so quick and then dissapeared so quick that it just made a new void. I have w
ork to do. Blarg. But hopeuflly this will be helpful in retrospect.
Also to keep your self sane you should implement a timer (stove, watch internet
w/e) that every hour or two goes off reminding you to go walk outside. Thinking
to your self out side where you can move is completely different and much more h
ealthy! DO IT!
September 25th 2011 5:46PM
"Invivible walls Everywheres!~"
Most days I look out my window longingly. Wanting for nothing in specific some d
ays and others simply company. Why is it we humans seem to create these invisibl
e walls? I can go out at any time, but I feel like if I don't have a place to go
there is no point. THis listlessness is worse then death. I have "work" I could
be doing. But at any given time in any students day there is some form of work
or other they could be doing. It never ends. I would be happy just exploreing th
e woods.
The walls don't stop there. When I am in resturants,the sidewalk, bars, even cit
idel hill (daytime). There are people who I would like to talk to. And that I wa
nt to get to know me. but I feel like there is this unimaginablely large gap pre
venting me from joining at their table at a bar, or stopping to talk to a pretty
, or intresting stranger. Some people I look at and know instantly that they are
approachable, and I can talk to them. But those are rare. Its like rideing a ro
ller coaster, but on a per person basis. before you talk to them there is this f
ear which is disproportionate to the actual act of talking to them, but once you
ride the roller coaster once, or talk to them once. The fear vanishes.
I try not to make this about me. But in the end, any words that make their way i
nto this doccument, are invariabley the result of using me as filter to the worl
d. I pick out certain pieces that get caught in the filter and then think about/
process them and out put to here.
People always tell me I look good etc, that I am an intresting person, that they
are glad they got to know me, that I am kind, that I am talented. (And this is
what I get hung up on, and why I have low confidance, and always try to prove my
self)
If I am all these things then WHY does NO ONE!!! And I mean NO ONE!!! Ever go ou
t of their way to try and talk to, or meet me. Surely they cannot be suffering f
rom these walls too! I feel as though I have a very approachable air... I don;t

understand it.
Then when even the slightest interaction comes my way,(often in retail etc, beca
use its one of the few ways you can talk to somone without the walls) Then I fin
d my self makeing stupid impulse purchases just to extend the conversation. Just
to cling to that moment of togetherness (however slight it may be) for just a i
nstant longer...
I will continue to have low confidance until people approach me. How can you fee
l like you are something if your never recognized that you even exist most days.
I walk by hundereds of people that I am sure if even a small portion would show
any intrest in my as a friend, or in anytother way, I would be having a healthy
social life!
Well I am not going to take it lieing down. I am going to beat it. Or beat mysel
f or whatever. If I am smart enough to recognize the problem then I am smart eno
ugh to fix it! I ...just don't know how.
September 27th 2011 12:45AM
"I want to be everything, but the more I want to be the more I realize, I'm not.
"
October 3rd 2011 8:55 PM
"The Network - 1976"
I am not sure, If I have ever seen a film that so accurately and painfully captu
res so much of what I have described in this doccument. Or describes so much of
what it is to be human. TODAY. Not fancyful romatic ideas about what humans used
to be that we still trick ourselves into believeing. But Real Vicral essence of
human beings today. As I am writeing this there is the begginings of a movement
that was originally called "Occupy Wall Street" takeing place, in NYC and is sp
reading to other cities as well. It is primiarly protesting the realities propos
ed in this film. i cannot speculate on the future of the movement or if it even
has one. But I should hope it does. I should hope it makes its way into the hist
ory books of the future, ideally in a major way, or even a minor one would be ap
preciated. To be honest I am not sure what the history books of the future will
contain. It is really a forign notion. Its like thinking about "classic rock" No
w we have "Old classic Rock" and "new Classic rock" somone drew the lines. Where
will they draw the lines across this slice of time that I live in? What will th
e historians of the future deem worth remembering, or will there even be anythin
g worth remembering.
I have said it before, but books were our saving grace. Because if we deemed it
important at the time we would print it, and unless we physically destroyed it,
the information containted therein would be preserved. Now the bar for what is d
eemed important has been lowered so much that we reccord almost everything. In t
he process, we don't cherish or preserve anything specifically. When you preserv
e everything, you devaulate everything being preserved.
When we fill up the storage on a drive, or our allocated webhosting the page is
deleted. It cannot be retrived. You cannot wander into a used book store to read
the cherished memowars of a great thinker. Instead much like this doccument the
y will exist and vanish as quickly as the storage medium they are on is destroye
d.(I will back this doccument up online tonight. Should a fire take my current r
esidance.
But I am losing topic. That film captured the generation gap, and the pain cause
d when the two try and intermingle. That gap was one between one large age range
and another. And that "generation" consisisted of many more people the the newe
r ones. the age range for new generations is becoming smaller and smaller. WHen

before a gap existed between all the people of the 1900's now there is a gap bet
ween people even born in the 1990's and 2000-2005's I expect this gap will conti
nue to increase. At an ever increasing speed.
WE NEED TO MOVE BACKWARDS! to put it metaphorically we are like a person runnin
g in a general direction. But all the aspects that make us human, we are carryin
g with us as bags and backpacks. We have discovered that if we shed that baggage
that composes being human we can move faster then those that cling to things li
ke emotion, romance, and deep philosophy. In otherwords the less human we become
the faster we can run. And those that are still more human are quickly being le
ft behind.
WE need to slow down collect those that have fallen behind and help carry some o
f the bags for them. We will all get there slower, but we will get there togethe
r!
WE must rediscover each other. I can only hope that the occupy Wallstreet is the
beggining of it. But I fear even there that many of the participants don't true
ly understand what they are protesting for. They see the action, and cannot fath
om the reaction. But perhaps that is enough. You need only smell the rot to act,
you don't always need to see the source. However somewhere somone needs to find
it and remove it, or else we will run for from oderous vapours for eternity.
I catch my self frequently wishing i was born in an older time. But I need to wa
ke up and stop dreaming and start trying to keep what I think would have been gr
eat about the older times alive today. The scene at the end of the film where th
e older man (I didn't even catch their names....what does that say about em) is
finally leaving the younger woman he is having an affair with; The way he talks
captures the essence of the age. Things like that could only be said by someone
who was truely really human. While he said them, (and the WAY he said them) made
even me uncomfortable as an advanced form of the younger woman's generation. It
was as if he was indirectly scolding me, and my generation for forgetting the w
ays of the past. And he is completely right, and just in his scoldings.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
tion of the past and I think our only
e of the past and try and regain that
nsider that film high art. I think it

But films such as this serve as a distilla

hope is to REALLY study the art and cultur
"air" that "feeling" of the times. I do co
should be part of manditory education.

October 6th 2011 10 or 11 something

"Justice"
What do you think when I describe this situation. A man holding a stick is beati
ng people who hold nothing. A man holding a stick is beating people for talking,
for yelling, for trying to give his children a brighter future. A man with a st
ick also has a badge. That badge is also a weapon for with it, the unarmed peopl
e cannot even use their bare hands to fight back. For if they so much as raise a
hand towards this man who is openly beating them, the will be further beaten an
d charged a montery fine,(which is equivilent to taking their hard earned posses
ions) and forced into imprisionment. Where is the justice here! The anwser there
is none. Force should always be met with EQUAL force. If your civilans are unar
med then why do you need weapons to enfore the law for them? And that is somethi
ng I think people have forgotten. The law is FOR the people. Enforceing the law
for the sake of the law is meaningless. In the same way that growth for the sake
of growth is meaningless, or fighting for the sake of fighting, buying for the
sake of buying, eating for the sake of eating. All these things are meaningless
when done for no other reason then to do them.
Justice for me has always been an integral part of what I strive for in life. I
want to make it, I want to breed it, and see it flourish across the world. Hence

why balance in games is so important to me. As I type this a thought comes to m

ind. How is justice for justice's sake worth doing? or does it defy the rule? In
the same way that Love for love's sake is/not pointless? I suppose justice is s
imply a belief. One that I have chosen to endorse. Life beyond existing is not p
redertemined to have a purpose. So our reward for having beaten natural selectio
n is to define the purpose of life for our selves. I choose to persue justice. W
hy... I just have a gut feeling. I think it is the most basic form of human inst
inct. If a fellow hunter downed prey, it is just that he be entitled to that pre
y, and he may then share it. This is justice as the root of sharing. I believe j
ustice to be the root of many things. And many things cannot exist without justi
ce. I just have a buring passion for it. And when I see the weak being opressed
by the strong, something ignites inside me the likes of which are unparalled by
any earthly expereince I have know. I feel the need to BE that justice, but lack
the means to do so. And to become a lawyer or a cop either is just a poor excus
e for real justice. Both are and have been maniuplated by individual desires, an
d their leaders and the overall people in power.
No, true justice can ONlY come from a commoner. But by the nature of power it co
rrupts... Hence why we have problems with the police reacting injustly. I don't
see a soultion to this problem, but I must find one.
12:54 Pm
Law(s)=/= justice
Laws are designed to help enforce justice normally however true justice is some
times out side the law. Hence why laws cannot exist in the form of laws they nee
d instead be viewed as guidelines for true justice to exist. Context is everythi
ng.

October 10th 2011 10:05 PM

"Openness"
a flash of an idea just crossed my mind. It is not complete in any way shape or
form, but I find i can critizise my thoughts better in written form. And in keep
ing with the thought It self I decided it reccord it in this manner.
What if I( or anyone) was truely open? Could one person's complete truthfulness
be enough to bring down the walls of the people all around them. Could it be eno
ugh to change their life for the better? Could it be enough to bring you togethe
r with others who truly share your thoughts and ideals? The only known case for
this that I am aware of is anynmous outlets. And during these occasions I DO oft
en see people rally to join the anynmously open person, but only becasuse they t
hemselves are anynmous.
But what if I did it? What if i for example posted exactly what I am REALLY thin
king online on facebook for example. The one problem with that platform is only
the people I already know will see it. If I am to take such a great risk I might
as well go all the way. I need to find some even greater public avenue to expos
e my self bare to the world. It will take great courage, and endurance for the v
olley to follow that will likely seek to cut or belittle the most bare parts of
my entity. But Will it be worth it? I cannot tell. Will I do it? I also cannot t
ell. I am I unique enough to actually warrent any attention, or will it mearly b
e dimissed by the internet generation as but one more chunk of data, in a world
where the quantity of data is so staggering that the quality of it is of little
worth. Time will tell I suppose.

OCtober 10th 2011 10:41PM

"I feel a sheep, in wolf's clothing."
October 27th 2011 1:01 Am
"Write things to remember when your NOT single!"
Never underestimate coming home tired to see your girl there, and snuggling down
on a cold night together. It really is priceless. Remember this when you have o
ne from when you didn't!
November 1st 2011 10:15PM
"Secret to surviving being between Ages {of time} is humor." AKA surviving as a
romantic {not strictly applied to relationships but more so life}
To take seriously everything around us leads to a very depressing lifestyle inde
ed. The only way to survive it to laugh at the mockery of all that is moral and
traditional around us. I have just finished steppenwolf today (a few hours ago)
and this I think is one of the greater lessons contained within this book. (and
there are all too many) And it is also worthy to note that taking humor in the t
hings around us is anything but easy. However if we can manage or learn to do it
our lives will become easier in the long run, and we can hopeuflly all avoid be
coming harry haller.
November 7th 2011 8:39PM
"My parents always told me you can do anything you put your mind to, They couldn
't be more right, but I can't put my mind to anything..."
For somereason that is purely beyond me I cannot focus. I procrastanate even in
the things i WANT to do. its absolutely mental. Its like Im not in control of my
self. Am I that weak willed? No I have proven the strenght of my will so many t
imes and in so many other ways. Its something else, something that keeps willpow
er out of the picture entirely. But I have no idea what that may be. However, if
I am ever to make something of my self in any field I need to conquer it.
November 9th 2011 1:40AM
"being a video game adict"
Its much like being bipolar I imagine. You lead two lives however one is actualy
a very multifacited where you are many differnt people at once, but there can b
e no doubt made by the nature of being an addict the other half the single eneti
tiy that is your real self and life WILL SUFFER. Because your leading these two
lives you don't so much realize that you are pissing away entire days at a time
because you are spending that time in another life. It is a terrifying experienc
e to look over at the clock and realize just how much time has passed you by. Pr
obablly the most painful part is all the things your missing out on by existing
in this other world. And there is also an exception. While in the game world you
r REAL life still exists, you still get hungery, need to sleep and use the bathr
oom.Still want for things, and invariably to fund this addiction you need to ven
ture forth into the real world. When you do it is almost always painful. NOW the
very important thing to note is your real life is not impacted in ANY way by yo
u playing this game. or living in the other world. At no point in the real world
does your life suffer from not tending to your virtual hungers, or strifes.
Video games are a terrible for of addiciton that is targeted at increaseingly yo
unger audiences, and onces they have found their escape to cheap thirills and ea
sy highs at NO forseeable cost to them as children,(parents pay for the games) t
he addiciton builds until by the time they are out on their own they cannot live
without them, and will happily fund them. To amke matters ever worse their frie
nds who CAUSUALLY play video games get them back in because you want to be inclu
ded. But what for them is them playing a game a couple hours a week becomes at L
EAST a couple hours a day if not more! When you realize you have spent more of y

our time awake playing a game then you have not playing a
at which you need to stop and tell your self, " I Have a
o say you can't live sorta happily with an addiciton like
think the total overall quality of LIFE is lower. I have
oday to continue writing this now.

game THAT is the point

problem" THis is not t
this. People do. But I
wasted too much time t

November 22nd 2011 7:09PM

"AI Love"
The idea that two AI can Love each other to determine which will create a new ge
neration is a novel one, and I believe I am the first to think of it. My love wh
ile sounding flowery is infact rooted in somthing tangeable. Have allow the AI t
o develop their own fitness analyzers, and when two Ai develop close/similar fit
ness functions that identify each other have them swap genes. Or become parents
of the next generation. This can still allow for elitisim should the AI Have tha
t as part of their fitness function. I think if nothing else it would make for a
n intresting experiment. I should hope one day I have the means to easily code f
or such a thing.
November 23 2011 1:04 AM
"Lost Run"
I fear this entry may resemble that of a diary, however I would like to think th
at it is more of a selfreclection turned insight into a certain type of person (
the type of person that I am). I haven't been running as much as I used to latel
y. I think its root is that I have been *tring* to procrastinate less lately. Be
cause I have realized that while I am really good at running. I am actually real
ly good at RUNNING! But I mean running in two ways. I am good at the physical ac
t, but I have also been doing the physical act, to enact physically the mental a
ct, or behavior of avoidance, procrastination, or escapeing what I didn't want t
o face. So as much as my overall fitness is in decline the less I have been runn
ing shows the more I have been tring not to avoid the problem. However this is f
alse and dangerous in two ways. First being that despite the lack of running i h
ave turned to alternative methods to escape. (in reality physically running was
at least healthier) seccondly it is dangerous for this line of thinking leads to
a justification to not run which is somehting i love and is good for my health,
and sanity. I can justify not running by saying it shows that I am standing to
face my problems when instead I am finding a myriad of ways to avoid doing what
I would normally literally run from. (ie doing exactly what I am doing now. I sh
ould be trying to scrape something together for my meeting with broadsky tomorro
w morning.) Or trying to sort out something for the meeting with bonnie.( If tha
t even happens) im not sure how I manage to continually fuck things up despite
being given almost anything i ask for. I still want on top of what I have. Thoug
h I no longer want for physical items I have all of those that I currently need.
Which is a pretty comfortable feeling. (and being comforatable itself is danger
ous to growth/progress)
I just want to figure out why i cannot make what I want my self to do, and what
I actually do, One. It is one of the last great mysteries. A simple anwser is la
ck of will power but that makes no sense as I have demonstrated I poesess will p
ower many times. (to extents beyond most people i know for that matter) but thos
e situations that bring it on are usually something I have already immersed my s
elf in, either involentary, or volentary. either way. If I can master school for
the time being that will be enough. Everything else will sort it self out. Its
like srini once said. take care of the big rocks frist(put them in the jar) then
the sand(little things) will filll in the gaps around them seamlessly. This is
all so frustrating.
January 3rd 2012 11:51PM
"Holmes"
It has been a while since I have written here. In some ways I might suppose that

is a good thing. However, that is not to say I didn't want to. There have been
a number of great Ideas (or so i think) that I have come up with recently but no
w they will be little more then that. Great Ideas forgotten as have most of the
undoccumented ideas throughout the ages.I have been reading much more then I hav
e been in years. I am glad I am. I had nearly forgotten how much I love to read.
Already there are too many 'I' s in this entry. Even the word 'entry' in retros
pect pushes this ever closer across the fine line that seperates this from a dia
ry. One thing which keeps it firmly planted in the non diary section I think, is
that I WANT people to read it!
For as long as I can remember my goal in life was rather simple. (this is not th
e simple version) To sustain my self and experience as much as I could while at
the same time ensuring that I some how transform those experiences into creation
s. For as I have said before I beleve that there is simply creation and filtrati
on and all humans need to spend a blanced portion of their lives doing both, how
ever the more you can create with the less filtration the better! However, what
would be the point of creation without it being filtered by other minds, and/or
bodies!
*(Rememebreing somthing from the shower at home shelburne)* Moderation may be th
e key to life but even moderation need be applied in moderation. (translation f
or the non mystics splurging is ok! ---Quiet voice--- in moderation!)
Here is the short version of my goal in life: Live extranormally! live a life th
at I can be proud of that matches my self at heart. I may not be an intellectual
, but I Absolutely have an intellectual personality! What fuels that is beyond m
e and quite not worth the effort to find out!
2ndly I am an (Relative <---that bit is important) old soul at heart. Meaning no
t that depending on my age I am a factor older then that. So if Im 5 Im a factor
(ial) older then that at heart. Which is what makes life so FUCKING uncomforatbl
e for me.! That is right .! Its an exclamatory statement! But a statement first!
I didn't
I could
uch pain
uth is I

choose this. It just slowly crept up on me. There are many times I wish
have a normal personality. But I never really mean it, not matter how m
or lonelyiness(sp) it causes me. loneliness* (Thank you google!) The tr
like Me! And I hope some day to find someone who REALLY likes Me to!

I have another aweful habit. That in part leads to my condition. I love far to e
asily. The reason for this is primairly rooted in the WAY I observe things, and
experience them. I can find beauty or pleasure in almost anything. And ESPECIALL
Y in people for they are far easier a target then most tasks and places, that ar
e normally called unattractive. (however this observational prowess can, unlike
our dear friend sherlock, be turned off. If for example I don't want to like a s
omething then I am perticularly good at applying the inverse which can lead to m
e hating rather easily, when I choose. Which (too many whiches) leads to my cinc
.....cynicism *google )
Another rememebred thing: Part of the secret to my ablity to do this is nothing
special. Take any precieved ugly object, then forget what it is your looking at.
Forget the noun which represents it, and don't focus on the whole thing at once
, focus on the bits and pieces of it. In isolation I garentee you will find beau
ty! At absolute minimum something intresting!
The thing that most takes Sherlock Holmes out of the realm of reality and into t
he realm of fiction(at least today) is his ablity to draw observations.BUt it is
not the act of observing it self.note: it may have been possible for a characte
r such as him to exist but it is not possible today and I shall explain why. In
order to make observations such as he does you need to be (like my self but more

so) a jack of all trades and master of all. Because it is only through experien
ce and carefully noting habits and trends and memorizeing them that you can take
clues and turn mere data into applied clues or information. Today there are sim
ply too many trades and things(((3))), and too little human interaction, or too
much(1), and entirely too much black boxing!((2))
first #1 there are habits and traits indicitive to people who both interact too
much, too little or just enough with other people that you would need to be awa
re of. Those three factors would flavor any information you might try to gleam f
rom your current out standing article. Additionally it is rare and near impossib
le for any to have occupied all three of those states for sufficent amount of ti
me to apply them fully. At best it would lead to poorly educated guesses, about
two of the three.
2ndly 2# today we delegate so much "know how" about specific trades that most pe
ople don't understand half of the world around them. People have always been gui
lty of this, even in sherlocks time. But give the vastly expanded number of fiel
ds and hobbies etc, and the lowered amount of generality (ie not everyhting runs
on steam so its difficult to make generalization now from one field of knowledg
e to another.) This fact makes the mere existance of a true sherlock holmes (Of
equlivilent potency to the old fictional character) in today's world as likely a
s you knowing that my tap water is/was (depending on when your reading) currentl
y cloudy when its on "hot".
finally #3 I wasn't going to explain this one. So I will just say this. Try and
name as many fields or types of things as you can. Its an impossibly long list.
It was long back then but it was far more definitive. However today it is unlike
ly a definitive list could actually be made! (now you could call me a blundering
idiot and say there was just as many mystisims etc back then to need to know a
bout but Im trying to make a point here! That I beleive most people would inatel
y know as true)
All this aside let this not confuse the reader so as to think I dislike Sherlock
Holmes. I really enjoy him, and feel a deep sense of comradrary with him in fac
t. One that all intellectuals, intellectual personalities, and ciritically think
s lords and lasses ought to share. Because there is no doubt, we are different b
y nature or by choice! And that last part is important... if you feel your on th
e other side of the fence its never too late to come to the dark side! :D Ive ne
ver understood why modern writers refrain from putting smiley faces in books. Th
ere are some moments you absolutely know the authour just wants to wink at the a
udience! ;) like just then! (I of course know why in most books this doesn't hap
pen..... disrupts the mood/story bleh bleh, book is not about the authour about
the story.... WELLLLLLLL a very wise philosophy teacher once told me (in complet
e condriction with his peers at the time) "That if your writing an essay its ok
to use the word 'I' because your writing it after all aren't you ?(( OR at least
you better be!))" I should hope some day that he reads this and knows who I am
talking about. and im sure that somone could find it out if they played historia
n... Ive not had THAT many philosophy teachers.... Wish I had though...
No, Sherlock Holmes is indeed dear to me. As is Herry Haller, as was plato and a
ll the other neglected ingellegent gents be they fictional or otherwise througho
ut history. Because it does often feel like the ultimate mocking curse. If there
is a god (reading too much Terry Pratchett... puts gods on the brain you know!)
I can sure imagine it getting a thougho laugh out of it, while at the same time
rubbing his hands together saying, "That I'll teach you atheist numbskulls!~" T
he curse of course being, to understand so much, while at the same time being n
ot understood your self. Because surely if you were understood there is no way i
ntellegent people could be left as alone as they are.
We have everything to give, and only ask that you take. But even that seems like

too much of a chore for you. We like you, we often even love you dearly. but in
stead of filtering us and perhaps in the process slightly joining us, you instea
d choose to filter more of your own kind. Do we not just filter our own kind as
well then? YES WE DO! BUT! The important difference is we are also (usually forc
eably) filtering your kind as well. So it is this unequal forcing of filtering t
hat leads to this problem. And there is no question that the intellectuals have
not and likely never will be the majority (at least in my time)
I HAVE SAID (now that I have your attention before you threw the text out and st
omed off) many things here, I am aware of my opinion at the for front. I am awar
e I am pushing my self too generally. And that I am in a binary way deviding peo
ple. All of this I would of course not condone should I have heard it without th
e almost pleading and deeply human context upon which it so violently entered th
is text. There is and always has been strong emotions involved in most of the wr
iting of this text. And even now amidst the tempest of them, I feel that the mos
t direct means of conveying a point, albeit while simplfying perhaps to a level
of in-applicablity, is still the best course of action! So, sorry.
Also in my defense I use intellectual in a deragatory manner a lot. And I mean i
t. We really do deeply and sincearly envy you but there is more to the story *wi
nky face* . While i wouldn't change what I feel I am in any capacity, it is not
really something I would wish on anyone, its something that has to happen or you
choose to have happen. In EXACTLY The same way as we should not be forced to pa
rtake in your world. And it really is a dicotomey of worlds. Becuase If you lump
ed us all together we would likely tear our selves apart initially but no more t
hen you do. THen I think it would be somehting unheard of. HAPPY intellectuals!
Because while Im sure some do exist but on a whole if our *class was to be defin
ed by a particular emotion I can't imagine HAPPY would even be a considered opti
on.
This is depressing to even write about. But you really do feel completely and ut
terly alone for so much of the time. I came to university hoping to solve that p
roblem but was sorely mistaken. I feel just as alone in a place where I am told
I should feel completely at home *IF I am a REAL intellectual, says some dean wh
ilist he counts the money bags he has accumlated from the students paying top do
llar to sit in a class room and watch Youtube videos in their sweatpants/suit...
side track GWARS! I forgot ...And its back I do belive the natural evolution is
Critical thinker ---> intellectual personality ---> True intellectual but of co
urse you can skip around and break those rules... The phychologists amoung the r
eadership will of course tell you I said that order because everyone fancies the
mselves to be in the middle. How true they are but the exception being that I am
actively aware that i am RARELY in the middle. SO I take full oppertunity when
I feel I am! *Self satisfied smile*
So what do i want you to take from this ... What can you realistically do. Becau
se despite what my lack of piece of paper may say, I AM a Computer Scientist at
heart. I love to solve problems, and feel it would be completely cruel to have p
resented you with this problem and abstained from at least offering a solution .
.. albeit a weak one!
Hug a nerd! Listen to an average joe! Read a dusty book! And in general just see
k out more people that you might not otherwise have done! (I warned you it would
be a weak solution!) Good bit starts here! People are always looking for people
. Sometimes they just don't know it! They may be passive, or (like me) Active (.
..And failing), but were all looking for someone! Wheither it be a new friend to
replace or add to old ones, or a person to be intimate with! Everyong is lookin
g! If we all just got a little more active about it would make a big difference.
In general intellectuals <-- (Im projecting again Fraser... and generalizing ..
. double taboo) we tend to lean towards the shut in side... so just go out and w

ait its hard, and kind of like fishing but its the best you can do short of join
ing a club (which may be asking too much) and on the other side of the fence, wh
en you see somone obviously out of place try talking to them, and even if they a
re not out of place!
Now this presents yet another problem because I can only speak for my self here
(which is what I should have been doing all along instead of taking the dangerou
s route and generalizing) but the people im looking to meet are like my self...
So how do two shutin intellectuals meet? its about as rare as meteors colliding
while being watched from earth.... So the best I can do is go out and fish. And
HOPE BEYOND HOPE! That someone else has also picked that exact window of time an
d decided to go to the exact same fishing ground and that I am swift enough to n
otice, and brave enough to make contact, and that they are open enough to accept
that contact. <--- see what I mean there are a lot of conditions.
Again I really hate this binary devision im doing because I know There have been
lots of great people I have met that are close that I would consider to be non
intellectual types, but I would be lieing if I said they actually were like me o
r that i had discovered that they were like me ( I may have passed them by) I al
so despise the connotations associated with the word intellectual. it may seem l
ike im using it to credit my self or put down others but wish it had no more con
notations then the color of a box. Because that is how I mean to use it. Simply
as a discriptor.
I will leave on this note, because I have blathered too long and wasted far more
time then I usually allow explaining myself.
You have heard this advice before but i really and sincerely mean it and beg you
to employ it. Be your self! And be genuine! Because How can somone see how grea
t you really are if you never show it. And (philosophical question here) Are you
really that person if you never act that way externally! If you guard who you r
eally are all your life, at the end of it you will realize you never really live
d to begin with. And then it will be far too late.
If you take nothing else or make no other changes to your life after reading thi
s please head my last plea! I ask it selfishly as someone who has lived as much
as them self as possible yet been ignored because no one is looking. And a funny
thing happens when you live like your self you stop looking at you and look to
others to see if you can see who they really are, and are very often sorely diss
apointed at what you can only catch breif glimpses of.
The honest truth is I don't crave a realtionship to quell my loneliness. What I
really crave is intimacty that comes with one. Because as a side effect the shie
ld and black boxes we all dwell in are shed ever so gracefully with the ones we
love or are intimate with.

January 5th 2012 1:57 am

"learn to cut your losses better.... Or rather if you decied to do it. Don't do
it right before there is the possiblity of payout with a free call. Its like oh
free call! And you fucking fold... DERP! " FML if you have commited that far to
the stupid plan next fucking time stay with it if it won't cost you more then a
little time. also FML is the OMG of this generation.
2:31 Am jan 31 2012
When I look at really "bad art" or listen to really "bad music" suddenly can I c
an envision how original good art or music would sound. There might be something
to this. it creates a kind of meditation, where you stop paying attention to th

e subject and unlock the creative side. its like your concious and subconcious s
witch. I think that is the phenomonon of zoneing out. When suddenly Your subconc
ious takes over the current task at the forground freeing up your concious to ac
t in the background and while in this state creativty seems to come much more na
turally. Again I cannot say if this is the case for anyone else. But I think dis
covering it even for my self is a step forward. Now I just need to be aware of i
t and learn to use it properly. This is not a real entry. i donno

Febuary 4th 2012 9:20 PM

"Maturity"
I have been delving into Kevin Smith, The man is a giant of maturity. Most peopl
e will look at his work and see little more then "dick and fart jokes". The real
truth is that those are little then the sugar that helps the medicine go down.
This is especially appearent when you watch "an evening with kevin smith" You ca
n see it in his eyes and mannurisims that this is a man who has done some very d
eep thinking and is so completely at home with who he is that no matter what or
who he is, he can make it work. Be be comfortable while doing so. Thoughout my l
ife (while comparitively) brief next to his, people have prepetually told me I a
m "mature for my age" in an variety of different words. And I have always felt m
y self more comfortable talking to people older then my self. When I was 8-9 I c
ould easily talk to teenagesers, by my early teens I could hold my own in conver
stions with people in their early twenties, and now I find my self talking with
with people in their late forties and early 50's and still feeling very much at
home, and still recieveing the came comment.
It really would be nice to find people my own age to have these sorts of talks w
ith, (and I don't think that it is impossible, I just haven't been very lucky in
the people I run into). More to the root of the phenomenon I don't think maturi
ty is something you simply have. Its something that you develop, and some people
are more inclined to doing the sort of thinking, and seeing their experiences i
n the right way so as to take more from them then their face value. Which leads
to my next point. I have made a some what grave mistake thoughout this doccument
. A lot of the time I say Im very intelligent or extra intelligent, or use intel
ligence when really I am not some super intellect. I am simply super/over mature
. I am a genius of maturity. Which explains my frustration in other areas where
I feel like I am "Smarter" then others around me who are doing a task better, th
at if I was really smarter then them they I should be doing far far better. But
I am gald I came to terms with this now. I am a master of preception. And I don'
t feel like im stroking my own ego by saying so, or any other form of self infla
tion because part of being excellent at preceving things is being able to make s
uch judgements. (It does nothing to garentee the their accuracy, mearly strongly
reinforce it)
So How does this help me? In short it doesn't. However, it does mean i might sto
p biting off more then I can chew, and it also just helps me settle into my self
a little more. Which is always, or should always be a goal in everyones life as
the move forward. However the problem still stands. This perpetual feeling of a
lienation, or lonelyness I think is rooted in how far ahead I am here. I always
identified with these "intelligent" characters because I was sure they felt the
same way. You can be surrounded by people yet still feel utterly alone. Its a si
blime form of suffering. WHich indirectly most people like me are/become geniuse
s of suffering. (Largely self-inflicted)
This still doesn't lend any light on a solution but again the first step in solv
ing a problem is identifying it. Part in parsel with me personally is because I
am so good at precieveing things it leads to a state of sloth. WHen I discover t
hat a teacher is less knowledgable then I had hoped or estimated they should be

in order to teach a course instead of continueing along merrily, I suddenly put

in less effort. It happens almost subconciously. I gravitate towards the level o
f effort I feel it is deserving. Psychologists may just say I am deflecting so a
s to give my self a free ride to these actions. Because reguardless of how they
came about. I shouldn't be trying to justify them. I'm always on guard for you p
sychologists. I often wish I had persued a career in psychiatry. But my parents
shut that down rather forceably saying I would be miserable if I followed that p
ath. I often wonder if that could be more so then I am now. BUt I do agree the s
chool requred and time apprenticing would be more then I could tolerate. (Also a
side note being as preciptive as I am leads quite naturally to cinnicism, which
I am working on over coming. Make no mistake, University for me has been much m
ore about crafting my self, then gaining any particular body of knowledge in com
puter science.) But back to kevin smith. Where he is leaps and bounds ahead of m
e ( even back in 2000/90's) is he learned properly and embraced the secret of St
eppen wolf. Humor.
Because when you can see things in the way that we do (and i do feel a kinship w
ith the man, also he is one of a select few to get in this doccument by name) yo
u can see past the fluff to the real gritty truth. And that truth is what is dis
troying me. But while I view it naked and unprotected, he is harnessing that tru
th with the armor of humor, to preserve his self while he works. I need to learn
this and fast! I have been trying. But I cannot even say for sure that he has m
astered it as well as I am suggesting because if he is like me I can pull it off
when in the company of others, and use humor in that way the same as he does in
his performances, but He might be like me and when alone its much harder to sel
l a joke to your self. To convnice your self to laugh in the same way when you k
now the punch line before the setup begins. Instead you find your minds eye look
ing past the humor completely and back to that volatile truth. I feel like Im ta
lking in circles. This happens when I write this sober...
March 3rd 2012 1:21 am
"I realize what I really long for, is not companionship itself. But for someone
to look into my eyes, and see what I see. But I fear this dream may be beyond th
e realm of reality."
Eyes can say so much. But few ever try listen.
March 14 2012 4:53 am
"Shadow Boxing, and losing"
How often we are our own worst enemy. Always fighting, never winning. Because we
re not exploring new ground. In life till death, were just connecting dots. We k
now were born, we know we die. We have the freedom to draw that motherfucking co
nnecting line however we choose. But just like those hundreds of connect the dot
s we filled out as kids. We always just draw a stright connecting line between t
hem. By what defect of human nature do we confine ourselves so.
You can say you lived differently. You can say, "I'm Special." Your not fucking
special. Your you. Exactly you. Special if fucking relative. But when you use yo
ur self as the point of refrence your no more fucking special then that unassumi
ng stright line you used time and time again to connect those dots. And don't fo
rget the numbers. To remind you which dots are connected, and the order in which
to connect them.
Time and time again we repeat our mistakes. Its the only thing in life truely wo
rth regretting. I regret nothing else in my life. Nor will. Save that is, Repeat
ing the mistakes I thought I had learned from. They say insanity is repeating an
action but expecting a different result. (or some shit like that) But when you
see people (and you know what Im saying, you have seen them) When you see people
that look like they have just stopped. Like they hit some wall. Some reason tha

t stopped their progress towards whatever it was they wanted in life. Now they a
re just pacing in circles on the wrong side of their personal demon wall. People
frozen in time, by their own doing. Waiting for somone or something to break th
eir cycle so they can move forward again.
The only escape is something outside yourself. have one person interject somonet
hing into your life at that moment. To break the loop and gift you the oppertuni
ty to stop and see the circular trench your eternal pacing is digging like some
bad cartoon.
Im awake right now... At that most horrible of times comedians often joke as the
most impracticle time known to humanity. 4:30-5:30 its an hour your not suppose
d to know exists unless you have a dam good reason for it. Im not moving forward
. I have repeated this same mistake many times.(and recently many nights)
im tired of making the same mistake. But looking back i cannot imagine how else
I would have acted. because no matter how much i want to say i should have done
"X" or "y" I know that all the things I did are relitive to a context that I fel
t then and not now.
We're remarkably touchy feely creatures even when trying to be logical. AS for r
ight now I guess all i can do is maintain as much awareness of the process as po
ssible to try and avoid mistakes.
I just wish I had a more solid/general anwser to this issue. Not just for myself
. But also for those people i see grinding away in their circular torment. But c
heesy though it may be its like the matrix. the first step is realizing your in
it.
Then my current method of dealing with it is to become so revolted at your self
that you hope the mental scar of how terrible you feel at the exact moment is en
ough to prevent you from everdoing it agian. Curse my masochisim.
March 14th 2012 5:25Pm
"Reality complex"
My biggest since first year has, when I break things down, been my sleeping patt
erns. And sleep in general. In first year I leared how to have lucid dreams. Tha
t is dreams in which you control the flow and progession of that dream. I when y
ou first start lucid dreaming you find your dreams become far less intresting be
cause you are in total control of every variable. Every actor. Nothing is unknow
n. Its like rereading a short book that you just finished yesterday. But as I go
t better at it I managed to control the charaters outside my self and my self, w
hile managing to hide the motives or future actions of those characters from my
dream self.
What you end up with it a world where all the actors are still directing things
towards a result you want or are at least concious of. But the dream you can sti
ll be genuinly suprised. The other proprety of lucid dreams is that your aware o
f more of what is going on around, its like in regular dreams your eyes are half
closed. But in lucid dreams not only are they wide open but the range of your v
ision is almost impossibly larger then reality. like a hybrid between 1st and th
rid person. One final thing to note about lucid dreams is at least for me. I rem
ember them. Which leaves you thinking "dreamily" (pun but also literally) about
your dreams while waking. And being prepetually disatisfied with how different t
he two are. And how inferior real life seems.
So What this has resulted in is my dreams are vastly better then my life while w
aking. So It's harder to wake up. Its addicting. Its like a mmo But infinately b
etter. Every night a new adventure. And every time a world so much better then t

he grey you awake to. In comparision to my dreams, in life I have nothing to loo
k forward to. This has resulted in all sorts of problems in my waking life as It
seems I never have enough time to accomplish what I need to. And mustering the
resolve or will to do work in this life just seems meaningless as crazy as that
must be to read or see.
The only anwser is to make real life better then the dreams. But that seems incr
easingly like a pipe dream, or worse an outright impossiblity.
March 20th 2012 11:05pm (sober)
"Genuis of suffering: A definition."
Im depressed I feel like Im doing everything as right as I can, and trying to li
ve like how I feel a human should. And despite the shit society throws at me I s
till try and stay true to how I feel I should live as best I can. And yet I feel
soo fucking alone. Like even you guys({{Context}} I posted this as a facebook m
essage to my friends), while some of the best friends a guy could ask for, are s
till very different from me.
I just want to find people that I feel are like me. And I have been desperately
searching for them for the last 4 years and come up with no one. Just one person
who I felt was really like me would have prevented so much depression and stres
s through the last 4 years. And how do i quantify someone like me? Someone who d
oes things like I do, who enjoys life just as it is, like taking time no matter
what to sit and watch the stars alone or otherwise, who stops to notice the litt
le details in the leaves and things as they go to school, who loves everything n
atural, but does not do so blindly, who is aware of them selves and the world ar
ound them and how they fit into it. Who has common sense and intellect, with a w
ide range of interests and hobbies, who is TRULY open minded mentally and always
willing to try new things, who has faults but is aware of them,
And I could go on for pages.... but its pointless, because no matter what it is
im doing, Im doing it wrong because I haven't found someone like myself. And Im
sorry for being the downer, but if I can't talk to you guys, who can I talk to?
Do I expect you to do anything about this? No. Do I even want you to? No. Its ju
st something that has been bothering me for a very long time and somehow I just
feel better by sharing it. To at least let other people know that this is my per
petual struggle. It makes me just ever so slightly better off.
What I can't wrap my head around is why this matters so fucking much to me. Like
I have a primal urge to share the type of experiences that I value. Yet, I have
no one who wants to share those type of things with me, and that crushes me. An
d while I love them alone, a stary sky or a quiet moment by the ocean just isn't
the same by yourself.
The
f I
lem
ass

worst is I have no garentee that its even any better with someone, because i
had found someone to do such things with then I wouldn't be having this prob
in the first place. I just feel like it will be. It may just be a case of gr
is greener on the other side.

I think the main problem is these things/experiences society puts zero value on.
But that they have value to me and seemingly no one else is what is tearing me
apart. Like Im some how supposed to make up for all the people who ignore them.
But the burden is simply too great to bear.
Fuck this is depressing me more now. I'm going to stop. But if I had just one wi
sh it would be make a connection with this mystery person or people.

Sorry guys.

April 2nd 2012 10:12 pm

"Escapist living"
Make no mistake. My greatest flaw and the root of many of my other problems is t
he escapist lifestyle I adopted due to the way my childhood unfolded. However wh
ile the problems with my childhood are no longer an issue the escapist habits I
developed carried through to present day. An intresting side effect of which bei
ng that, the escapist lifestyle creates more things you want to escape from. Not
to meantion that once you have enduldged in these other worlds and TRUELY given
yourself up to them it makes it ever harder to stay rooted in reality.
I should clarify Escapist to mean meansliving virtually through: thought, games,
Books, imagination(slightly differnt then pure thought), Movies, TV, (in that o
rder)
However while I feel (like most I wager) that the circumstances that brought me
to this state are some what unique; I also feel that this type of living is beco
ming more and more common every day. As people seek to avert thier eyes from the
reality that they FEEL powerless to effect. Suddenly when presented with this s
ituation having a world in a bottle (video games, movies tv, books etc) Gives yo
u a platform where your choices seem to have more effect on the world beyond you
r self.
That is what it is all really about anyway. We just want to feel like we have po
wer beyond ourselves. The problem being of course the overlap. When everyone can
control the world beyond themselves or control others then somone is always los
ing control. It comes to the point where were indvertantly returning back to kin
gdoms and houses/families of the fudal days. But now the families are Sony, goog
le, HBO, Apple, Pepsi, Lebatt, etc etc etc. Those families rule our corpratized
world. And unless you rank highly within them your little more then a filth farm
er driving the wheels. A slave without knowing it.
When you look at the world through such a lense and try to reimagine the world a
round you in the medevil days you see that the archetechtures are still roughly
the same with minor alterations. CEO are kings/lords, and other postions can be
mapped to what ever juxtapositon you fancy. I offer no commentary on the state o
f things. Its something that really just IS. Much like trying to offer commentar
y on the color of the grass. It simply is. The real topic worth talking about, i
s how we managed to so carelessly recreate a failed system of the past without p
eople taking heed of it until it was too late.
OR perhaps we simply desire to be ruled. You see there is one powerful advantage
the modern kings and queens hold over us today that royality of the medievil ag
es only dared dream of. They control/produce what we eat, buy, and own and live
in... With this level of control I don't think I need to point out the power tha
t grants your rulers. Even in the medievil times you could still find land to ha
ve food grown, or a smith or carpenter to make what you needed and these crafts
people were autonomous and their products unique and a reflection of their skill
and the materials avilable in the area. In short it WAS culture. Current produc
ts have no culture as they can draw on materials from everywhere. Products are d
esigned to be the same, reguardless of geography, and finally the level of quali
ty is Capped at what ever is cost effective. (notice I say capped because even m
ass produced goods fall below the cap, but you will never find a mass produced g
ood that is ABOVE the cap, unless some stars align and a factory worker decided
to step in an do something special.)
It is a sad state of affairs. That is, of course, an opioion of somone lead to e

scapisim so take it with a grain of salt. grain of salt.