THE AWAKENER OF THE
CONSCIOUS MIND– SAYYIDA
ZAINAB (AS)………………….1
 DAYS OF HOPE ( PART 2)–
REGRET NOURISHES HOPE
…………………………. 3
 O UR COMMUNITY. CAMP
K ARIONG AND M UHARRAM AT
IHIC (2009) ............. 4
 P ATHOLOGY OF DIVORCE–
– P ART 2- NO M UTUAL UN-
DERSTANDING ................ 7
Editorial
Salaam Alaykum!
Welcome once again to the Al-Fajr
Newsletter! This month we are back
with a special issue to enlighten you
about the aftermath of Karbala and
the events facing our community
throughout this mourning period.
Since in inception in mid 2002, the
newsletter has grown to become a
household name and has stuck to
its base objectives of:
 Promoting education, awareness
and unity within community
(hence the 'Our Community'
section)
 Promoting the sharing of ideas
however controversial
(‘Viewpoint’ section)
 Have a creative outlet for aspiring
and talented young people
 To publish high quality, original,
well-researched, informative arti-
cles on our faith and its practice.
We have deliberately released this
issue on this special day of Arb’aÐn
(40th of Imam Íusain (as)) since
this is a day we are expected to re-
flect on ourselves and particularly
ask what have we achieved this Mu-
harram and what are we going to
take onboard with us over the next
year. We hope you enjoy this
month’s issue, and we strongly en-
courage readers to provide us with
feedback. You may contact us on
our website www.al-fajr.org.au -
May Allah be pleased with us all
Inshallah
Wassalaam– Mustafa Barakat and
Abidali Mohamedali.
DISCLAIMER AND CAUTION
The articles published in this paper
are not the views of Al-Fajr or any
particular Islamic centre but of the
author. Please handle with care as it
contains names of Allah and His
Prophet
ISSUE 2 VOLUME 5 2010
This month of Safar is a true tragedy for the Ahlul Bayt. Let us learn from the leader of the
women of Karbala how to be the true mourners of this atrocious tragedy.
The Awakener of the Conscious Mind
Do we think we would have been at the service
of Imam Íusain and willing to sacrifice our
lives at Karbala? If I had to be honest with my-
self I would say that I would be willing, however
I lack the confidence in saying this. I would
suspect that the very Kufans who
betrayed our Imam would have
shared the same position. When it
comes to the moment where we
have to decide whether or not to
be by the side of our Imam at war,
what will go through our mind? I
have a family to look after, I have
to run my business, there are
plenty of people to support our
Imam and so he does not need
me, I need to go to work to pay
for my livelihood, I don’t think it
is in my nature to undertake all
this violence, etc. Why is it that
we don’t heed the best of actions? Could it be
anything other than our greed for this short life
in this limited world? This article will aim to
shed some light on the messages Sayyida Zaynab
had sent forth to all future generations such
that we don’t end up like the Kufans – the lov-
ers of this world. I have chosen to write about
Sayyida Zaynab for two reasons: firstly her
gender accommodates for both males and fe-
males; and the fact that she was not of the
ma’sumeen which does not make her any differ-
ent to us.
The wise lady Zaynab was the daughter of the
Commander of the Faithful (Imam ‘Ali ) and
FÁÔima ZahrÁ the daughter of the Prophet
(saws). She was a sister to the two masters of the
youth of paradise Imams Íasan and Íusain
. She spent a number of years of her life sepa-
By Mustafa Barakat
rated from her beloved infallible family mem-
bers with the loss of her mother at a very young
age, the loss of her father, and her 2 brothers,
all unjustly martyred. She had been blessed
growing up in the company of great role mod-
els to look up to, emulate and learn from. How-
ever, with respect to the event
of Karbala, Sayyida Zaynab
who was in her old age was essen-
tially all that was left to stand up
to tyranny, speak the truth and
submit to the consequences.
After the battle of Karbala, Sayy-
ida Zaynab and the rest of the
captives were taken to pass by the
corpses of Imam Íusain and
his companions who were left
unburied. When Sayyida Zaynab
saw the body of her brother,
she put her hands under the sacred body and
lifted it as she supplicated saying “O Lord Do
accept this sacrifice from us!”.1 This demonstrates
to us firstly, that Imam Husain had carried
out a plan to offer his life in martyrdom, and
secondly Sayyida Zaynab had to undertake
the sacred responsibility in presenting the sacri-
fice to Allah and promoting His cause such
that the revival of the true Islam is achieved.
Sayyida Zaynab , therefore had propagated the
story of the sacrifice of Imam such that it
may reach us today and wake us up from our
slumber. While Imam Sajjad was looking at
his slaughtered family, Sayyida Zaynab looked
at his face and said to him the following:
“Why do I see you pleading for death, O the legacy
of my grandfather, of my father and brothers? By
Allah, this is something, which Allah had divulged
Continued on page 2 >>>>
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010
to your grandfather and to your father . Allah took a covenant from
people whom you do not know, the mighty ones on this land, and who
are known to the people of the heavens, that they would gather these
severed parts and wounded corpses and bury them, then shall they set up
on this Taff a banner for the grave of your father, the Master of Martyrs
, the traces of which shall never be obliterated, nor shall it ever be
wiped out so long as there is day and night. And the leaders of apostasy
and the promoters of misguidance shall try their best to obliterate and
efface it, yet it shall get loftier instead.”2
It is obvious that the martyrdom of Imam Íusain is an ever-
lasting story that we need to engrave in our hearts, and whoever
tries to eliminate it from our hearts will awaken us, as they are
our open enemy. Those who have let go of this story are the end
product of the leaders of apostasy and the promoters of misguid-
ance. Beware Brothers and Sisters from letting go. “And hold fast,
all of you together, to the Rope of Al-
lah and be not divided among your-
selves”. [Quran 3:103]
Once Sayyida Zaynab and the cap-
tives arrived at Kufa from Karbala, She
delivered a speech to the Kufans, con-
fronting them with the evil they have
done and the wrath of Allah that they
earned – had anybody been confronted with these fiery words one
would say: "Woe to me! Would that I were dust!" [Quran 78:40].
The speech of Sayyida Zaynab is on the last page of this issue.
The following excerpts demonstrate the fire of those words:
“What will you reply when the Prophet shall ask you, “How did you
fair while you were the last nation with my progeny, my children and
the noble ones, that some of them are captives and some drenched in
their blood? This is not the recompense regarding which I advised you
with which you treated my 'Near-ones!'”.3
What would we reply when the Prophet asks us how we proceeded
with respect to his progeny? Are we really ready to sacrifice our
lives for the sake of our Imam? Are we grieved enough over how
our Imam was martyred? Are we grateful that our Imam sacrificed
his life such that we may not go astray? Are we ready to give up
this world and heed towards the best of actions? Are we really
ready for the appearance of the Imam of our time? If the answer
to all these questions is ‘yes’, then where is Al-Muntadhar (The
Awaited)? If we are not ready, are we really ready to receive Allah’s
wrath that Sayyida Zaynab has described? O Allah! may You
have mercy upon us for the lack of preparedness. After Sayyida
Zaynab delivered her speech to the Kufans and was mourning
and wailing, Imam Sajjad said to her, “O dear aunt, please re-
main silent so that what has passed away should serve as an example
for the future. You, praise be to Allah, are an intellectual without hav-
ing being trained, and are knowledgeable who needs none to make her
understand. Verily, lamenting and wailing would not return back those
who have passed away.”4
It is obvious from these words that the words of Sayyida Zaynab
are not for the benefit of the Kufans, as they are doomed, but
are addressed to all future generations such that we may learn
2
from the mistakes of previous generations and make sure we don’t
repeat them.
Now I think it is necessary for me to emphasise here that, not only
was Sayyida Zaynab a woman of words, but also of action. During
the whole ordeal, Imam Sajjad was to be killed 3 times, once at the
hands of Shimr (The Cursed), once at the hands of Ibn Ziyad (The
Cursed) and lastly at the order of YazÐd (The Cursed). Each time the
Imam was facing death, Sayyida Zaynab would throw herself over
him and demand that they take her life before they take the life of
the Imam. SubÎanallah, Sayyida Zaynab had as a result protected
the Imam of that time, this is exactly what is expected of us today
for the Imam of our time, so we have to be prepared.
Continuing on, as a result of Zaynab’s campaign, many people had
come to know of the events of Karbala and their hearts were
aroused. The evils YazÐd had committed was discussed at every gath-
ering till it echoed throughout Damascus. The
captivity of the family of the Prophet had
sparked the attention of an ever-increasing num-
ber of people. By this point, YazÐd decided to re-
lease the captives such that he may avoid a possi-
ble uprising against his empire.
After being released, Sayyida Zaynab arranged
the first gathering for the mourning and remembrance (Majlis AzÁ)
of Imam Íusain . The people came, listened, and learned the truth
of all that had happened. They wept and shed tears. Such gatherings
were held wherever they had stopped on their journey towards Me-
dina. Today, we continue this tradition of holding Majlis AzÁ for
Imam Íusain such that we may awaken ourselves from our
sound sleep and revive our faith.
Today, there is so much to benefit from the wise words of Sayyida
Zaynab, however, in ending this article I would like to ask: How are
we expected to struggle against the enemies of our Imam while we
are currently unable to struggle against our own desires? We must
remind ourselves that we are created in this world to seek the pleas-
ure of Allah and not our own pleasure. So in preparation I encour-
age myself and others to divorce the love of this world, to practice
Amr bil Ma'ruf wa Nahy anil Munkar (enjoin what is good and
forbid what is evil) and build the shield of Taqwa . I hope that Al-
lah may guide us all before death overcomes us, to confidently say:
‚Ya laytana kunna ma’akum fa nafÙza fawzan adhÐma”, ‚How we
wish we were with you, so we would earn a great achievement.‛
(1) Shaikh Muhammad Baqir al-Birjandi al-Safi, Al-Kibrit al-Ahmar,
Vol. 3, p. 13, citing Al-Tiraz al-Muthahhab
(2) al-Tabarsi, Al-Itijaj, p. 166 (Najaf's edition).
(3) ibid.
(4) Ibid.
Refer to the following readings for more information:
 Maqtal al-Husain: Martyrdom Epic of Imam al-Husain
('a), by 'Abd al Razzaq al-Muqarram.
 Nafasul Mahmum Relating to the heart rending tragedy
of Karbala' by Sheikh Abbas Qummi.
 The Victory of Truth: The Life of Zaynab bint 'Ali, Re-
searched and Edited by M. H. Bilgrami.
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010
Days of Hope—Continued from issue 1
Yet on the Day of Judgment all of those who were heedless of that
Day, no matter what their reason, will feel an intense regret. In fact,
‚if every soul that has done injustice had all that is in the Earth, it
would offer it for ransom, and they will manifest regret when they
see the chastisement‛.1 When we see the hell-fire with our eyes, we
will not only give up that companion, that money and that power,
but we will in fact give up ‚all that is in the Earth‛. This world will
be the cheapest thing to give up in the hereafter, so much so that
‚those who do not respond to Him, had they all that is in the Earth
and the like thereof with it they would certainly offer it for a ran-
som‛2. This world, and all that is in it, is naught but the blink of an
eye, which will mean nothing when compared to
its eternal successor.3
Our Exalted Sustainer provides us with warning
so that we will anticipate the regret that will fill
our future if we do not take heed now and wake
up from our oblivion. Once our life ends and
death takes its hold over us, it will be too late.
‚Whatever has befallen them cannot be described.
Pangs of death and grief for losing (this world) have
surrounded them. Their limbs become languid and
their complexion changes. Then death increases its sway
over them. In some it stands between the man and his power of speaking
although he lies among his people, looking with his eyes, hearing with his
ears, and with his full wits and intelligence about him! He then thinks
over how he wasted his life and in what (activities) he passed his time. He
recalls the wealth he collected when blinding himself in seeking it, and
acquiring it from fair and foul sources. Now the consequences of collecting
it have overtaken him. He gets ready to leave it. It would remain for those
who are behind him. They would enjoy it and benefit by it. It will be an
easy acquisition for others but a burden on his back, and he will not be
able to get rid of it. He would there upon bite his hands with his teeth out
of shame for what was disclosed to him about his affairs at the time of his
death. He would hate what he coveted during the days of his life and
would wish that he who envied him on account of it and felt jealous over
him for it should have amassed it instead of he himself. Death would con-
tinue to affect his body till his ears too would behave like his tongue (and
lose their function). So he would lie among his people, neither speaking
with his tongue nor hearing with his ears! He would be rotating his
glance over their faces, watching the movements of their tongues, but not
hearing their words. Then death would increase its sway over him, and his
sight would be taken by death as the ears had been taken and the spirit
would depart from his body. He would then become a carcass among his
own people. They would feel lonely when around him and would move
away from him. He would not join a mourner or respond to a caller (ever
again). Then they would carry him to a small place in the ground and
deliver him in it to (face) his deeds. Slowly, they (even) stop visiting
him!‛4
Death is the final closing of the book, after which man can no
longer alter anything about his eternal fate. On that day, the veil
will be removed and man will see the true reality of the world for
the first time,5 after which he will asked to be given, even if a little,
time to come back so that he may do good deeds and repair the
damage he caused during his life. Yet he will be told that no soul
will be delayed once its time comes and no soul will be returned. 6
3
Ali AlSamail
What man has sown for himself in this world will become appar-
ent to him as soon as the last breath leaves him, and he will reap
what he sowed for the eternity to come.
The only escape from the bitter regret that will encompass man
after death is to channel the regret of today into virtuous actions.
Man is advised to ‚Work!, Work! Perform good acts‛ while he is
‚still in the vastness of life, (while) the books are open (for the recording
of actions), (while) repentance is allowed, (while) the one who runs
away (from Allah) is being called back and the sinner is being given
hope (of forgiveness)‛ before man dies and the ‚ (light of) action is
put off, time expires, life ends, the door for repentance is closed and the
angels ascend to the sky.‛7
‚Is there no one to offer repentance over his faults before
his death? Or is there no one to perform virtuous acts
before the day of trial? Beware, surely you are in the days
of hope behind which stand death. Whoever acts during
the days of hope before the approach of his death, his
actions will benefit him and his death would not harm
him. But he who fails to act during the period of hope
before the approach of death his actions are a loss and his
death is a harm to him...Beware, surely I have not seen a
coveter for Paradise asleep nor a dreader from Hell to be asleep. Beware,
you have been ordered insistently to march and been guided on how to
provide for the journey. Surely, the most frightening thing which I am
afraid for you about is that you will follow (your) desires and widen
(your) hopes. Provide for yourself from this world what would save you
tomorrow (on the Day of Judgment)‛8
We live now in the time of opportunity, in a world that was cre-
ated so that we could work for our afterlife and gain proximity to
our Lord. We must feel regret over our insufficiency before our
Lord today, while we can still redeem ourselves somehow, before
the opportunity passes and the world and all its avenues of wor-
ship become useless to us. We must make regret the facilitator for
repentance, repentance that fills the heart and spills over into
action. The flames of regret and remorse can in themselves wash
away the rust of sin from the heart; the tears that they bring can
in themselves cleanse the conscience and bring about some sort of
tranquility. Regret, when man is dead, is one of the worst forms
of torture. Regret while man is alive, is part of his salvation and
the first step towards repentance. Sincere repentance is the door
to forgiveness and salvation that never closes9 while man remains
alive, and regret is the key that opens that door, time and time
again.10
(1) Surah Yunus, Verse 54
(2) Surah Ra'd, Verse 18
(3) Surah NaÎl, Verse 77
(4) Nahjul Balagaha
(5) Surah QÁf, Verse 22
(6) Surah Al-MunafiqÙn, Verses 10-11
(7) Nahjul Balagha
(8) Nahjul Balagha, Sermon 28
(9) Imam Zainul ‘Abidin , Munajat Ta'ibÐn
(10) Imam Zainul ‘Abidin , Du'a Al-HazÐn (MafÁtihul Jinan)
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010 4
Every month, Al-Fajr will highlight activities of the community to create a camaraderie between ourselves and become
more aware of the services and facilities that different centres around Sydney offer. We shall endeavour to provide a snap-
shot of the activities/objectives of different centres from the members themselves! This month, we shall begin with the Imam
Husain Islamic Centre, highlighting the Muharram program and the youth summer camp.

Our Community
Camp Kariong-2010 by Leith Al-Saffar get organised into groups and exploring unknown places. The
third was similar, but involved more activities, while the last
Camp Kariong, a truly memorable camp. The magical moment
night was unforgettable. We were divided into two armies Jaish
started from around 6 am on the 16th of January 2010. Campers,
Kufa or the army of Kufa and Jaish FurÁt or the army of FurÁt.
parents, supervisors and volunteers all rushed into the Imam
Each was left to defend
Husain Islamic Centre carrying bulky bags and placing
its own base, flag and
them in the car park; it got to a point where the bags
protect its members;
were overflowing forcing us to move them! Having done
while we were also re-
that, we loaded all the necessities into the van and the
quired to collect hos-
trailer. There was a small delay, which gave us the oppor-
tages from the other
tunity to get to know each other and familiarise ourselves
army.
with the other campers, the camp leaders and the Sheikhs
(Sheikh Mansour Leghaei and Sh.
Everyone was sad that
Zaid AlSalami). By the morning we
the camp had come to
were like family.
an end, but everyone
had learnt something
As time passed we had hopped into
new; whether it was waking up for Salat al
the bus and headed straight for
Fajr or learning something about Islam. This camp was a
camp Kariong. On the way there
spiritual boost to motivate us and keep us on the right
we had a Latmiyah session thanks
path.
to Hussain Jamali. When we got
there we were restless, but imme-
AlÎamdulillah I think it was a mission- accomplished.
diately began to help the volunteers and supervisors unpack the
camping gear and the food. We were truly exhausted but we were
informed about the wildlife and the potential dangers that could

occur during our

stay. After dhuhur prayers, sister Jamali presented a session about
first aid in the wild. We then were introduced to the activities of
the day which included a workshop with sister Samaher, a game
of sports either soccer or cricket and swimming.

Throughout the camp there were several activities including bush

walks, swimming, sports, a bonfire, workshops, water fights, an
obstacle course, quizzes and lectures. AlÎamdulillah during the
camp all our prayers were done on time, usually followed by a
brief lecture by Sheikh Zayd Al-Salami. With the help of Sheikh
Mansour Leghaei and Br. Hussain Jamali, small MajÁlis and
laÔmiyat sessions were held after Maghrib and ‘Isha Prayers every
night of the camp.

One of the night activities held was called ‚Jaish al Mahdi‛ or the
army of Imam Mahdi. This took place at night after the Majlis,
which worked well because we had the story of Imam Husain (as)
fresh in our minds. The first two nights involved learning how to
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010
Muharram at Imam Husain Islamic
Centre
This Muharram at the Imam Husain
Islamic Centre was one of the biggest
on record, attracting over 300 people
every night! Our own Sheikh Mansour
enlightened the community with an
intense series of lectures reaching into
the core of our beliefs. Below, we have
summarised the core topics that Sheikh
discussed:
1 – Imam Husain in the Words of Imam Mahdi a.f
 The reasons why believers should cry
 Application of the Quran and the visitation of Ziyarat Ashura
and associating ourselves with Imam Husain
 The benefits of the turba of Imam Husain
2 - Imam Husain, the Martyr of the Holy Quran
 What were the aims and objectives of Imam Husain
 Believers should respect the blood of Imam Husain in theory
and in practice and not repeat the mistakes of the Kufans
 The different levels of respects towards the Quran and Imam
Husain
3 - Ahlul Bayt (a.s), the Guardians of the Holy Quran
 The wisdom behind the Prophet appointing his successors
 The love of Ahlul Bayt and its benefit
 It’s how you end your life that matters
4 - The Element of Truth & Trust in Karbala
 The characteristics of the follower of Ahlul Bayt
 The virtue in being truthful and trustworthy
 Believers should be careful who they associate themselves with
5 – The Campaigner Against the Distortions of Islam
 Types of distortions that had occurred in the history of Islam
 Distortions in other monotheistic religions
 Allah promised that the Quran will never be textually distorted
 Ahlul Bayt had protected the Quran from distortion of its
meaning
 How Imam Husain corrected the distortions at the cost of his
life
6 – The Campaigner against Moral Perversions / Distortions
 Believers should examine themselves with respect to moral
perversion and the benefits of repentance and reflecting and
repairing our mistakes
 Self purification and guarding oneself from our open enemy
 A FÁsiq (shameless sinner) is an enemy of Imam Husain
 The link between committing a sin and today’s technology
7 – Warnings from Karbala
 The love of this world is the head of all problems
 How to be truly successful in the life of this world
 The reality of the lovers of this world
 Those who stood and watched their Imam being martyred
8 – Lessons and Warnings from the Murderers of Imam
Husain
 The consequences of following the wrong leaders
 The characteristics of the right leaders
 The importance of knowing the leader of your time
5
 How the Kufans had come to follow the wrong leaders
 Preparing for the appearance of Imam Mahdi
 Which leaders should the Muslims follow during the major
occultation
9 - The Everlasting Role Models: A humble dedication to the
companions of Imam Husain
 Using the stories of the Prophets for learning
 The companions of Imam Husain did not betray him
 The characteristics of Imam Husains’ companions that made
them so unique
 The worship of Imam Husain and his companions even dur-
ing difficult times
10 - The Final Warning from
Ashura
 Examining oneself whether or
not we are on the right path
 Maintaining our good deeds
till we die
 Watching out from those
who desire to divide us
 Ahlul Bayt and dying for the
sake of Allah
 Why shall we grieve?
The full audio/video of these lectures were streamed
live and recorded. They can be purchased at the Imam Husain
Islamic Centre reception or downloaded from www.ihic.org.au
We were blessed this Muharram to be joined by a recent revert to
Islam, Gavin Fox. He describes below his experience of Ashura at
the Imam Husain Islamic Centre:
The 10 days of Muharram by Gavin Fox
Salam Alaykum, Brothers and Sisters. My name is Gavin Fox and
I am writing this to share with you my very first experience of
Ashura, at the Imam Husain Islamic Centre. Firstly, I will give
you a brief introduction about myself, and how I became a Shi’a
Muslim. You guessed it, with a name like Gavin Fox it kind of
gives it away that I am not from a Middle Eastern / Muslim de-
scent.
Having reverted to Islam towards the end of 2009 with the assis-
tance of Sheikh Mansour, I am fairly new to the world of Islam.
You may ask the number one questions such as: why did I choose
to become a Shi’a Muslim? I could talk about how I’ve visited the
Middle East and Muslim countries, or by reading numerous
books, meeting various Muslim people, both Shi’a and Sunni.
The fact of the matter is, I am a Shi’a Muslim because these are
the true teachings of Islam. However, most importantly, the Holy
Quran alone, the manual for life, was sufficient for me.
Now that I have given you a brief description on how I became a
Shi’a Muslim, let us move on to my very first Ashura experience.
My knowledge of Ashura was very basic. I was not prepared for
what I was about to encounter, for instance I had known that
Imam Husain was martyred however I wasn’t aware of the depth
Continued on page 6 >>>>
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010 6

Our Community ... Continued Viewpoint

of what really happened in Karbala. I was shocked to hear about Majlis or Majalis by Ansaar
how Yazids’ army killed Imam Íusain’s 6 month old baby, with
For ten nights each year, part of the world has a slightly different
an arrow shot through its neck, after he had requested water for
mood. Hues of red and black take over; mosques and Islamic cen-
his very thirsty baby. I was particularly deeply touched by the part
tres fill up with people who come to show their allegiance to the
of the tragedy when Imam Husain had then raised the blood of
Ahlul Bayt. Gatherings of remembrance spring up in many differ-
his baby towards the heavens, asking Allah to witness what these
ent venues and each venue seems to draw a great audience.
people have done to a baby belonging to the family of their
This year, within Sydney alone there were up to twenty three of
Prophet (a.s.). How
such gatherings. This raises a question of balance between diver-
can anyone commit
sity and unity, and whether a large number of gatherings are in
such an act?
fact beneficial or harmful to the community.
I remember hearing
The first benefit that this phenomenon provides is choice. People
about the little
are no longer limited to a particular speaker or even to a particu-
daughter of Imam
lar language. Speeches are given in Arabic- in a few of its different
Íusain while in the
dialects- English, Urdu and Farsi. This provides many people who
abandoned ruin in Damascus. She was crying and insisting to see
previously had no opportunity to learn about Karbala to now do
her father while Zaynab was trying to console her. Then they
so, and this is especially important for the youth. The different
brought the head and told her this is your father. I was very
speakers and their different styles also give people an opportunity
moved when hearing about how she hugged the head of her fa-
to learn more easily, because listeners often interact with different
ther. How can someone do that to an innocent child? And finally
speakers in a different manner, and may be far more influenced
the story of how Ibn Ziad had felt joy and happiness out of strik-
by one speaker than another.
ing the mouth of Husain with a cane such that he may fulfil his
sadistic inhuman personality. How evil must one be to do such
inexcusable acts?

After every lecture we beat our chests as a way of expressing our

grief, and to remind all of us what Imam Husain died for. This
also had encouraged me to purify my heart to that of Imam
Íusain’s. Also by repeatedly saying those words during the chest
beating helped to remind me about how it would have been like
to be on the battle fields of Karbala.

While not really knowing what to expect, I watched to see what

However from this multiplicity and
others would do and followed. I saw the look on people’s faces
choice emerge certain problems. The first is that many
and knew that these people were mourning for the death of Imam
listeners begin to ‘surf’ between gatherings, in order to experience
Husain. It was a moment to remember what he did for our relig-
the different speakers and environments. While this in itself has
ion, in sacrificing his life as well as his family. I have never experi-
benefits, it does not allow speakers- in many cases- to give a con-
enced the feeling of sadness along with the feeling of honour.
tinuous series of lectures and instead they are forced to speak on
unrelated topics from night to night. It may be argued that this
The whole experience was somewhat overwhelming but I have
decreases the effect of the message on the listener, not allowing
come to comprehend it as the battle between the forces of good
him or her to follow through and receive one powerful message
and evil. After taking part in Ashura it has changed my life for
during these ten nights.
the better. I am constantly reminded on how lucky I am. I only
hope that people value and learn from such history. Every time a
Another phenomenon that emerges is that many gatherings have
drop of water touches my tongue it prompts me to think about
to be held in community halls, rather than in mosques or Islamic
how it must have been like in Karbala for Husain and his family,
centres, and it may again be argued that this removes one of the
dying of thirst yet still focusing on what mattered the most. That
benefits of the gatherings of Muharram, that benefit being to
is saving Islam from corruption.
draw people back to mosques through the rest of the year. Even if
these gatherings are effective, these youth will have no base to turn
I understand that we really have to learn from this and ensure
to after the gatherings of Muharram cease.
that good is victorious over evil and to be the best people we can
be to our Creator, but most importantly engraving what hap-
This also raises the question of whether it is more preferable to
pened on the land of Karbala in our hearts. Imam Husain will
invite speakers from overseas or alternatively allow the array of
remain as a symbol of revolution against all tyrants and oppres-
speakers available within Australia to communicate to their own
sors and his cause will continue as a symbol of dignity and free-
community. On one hand overseas speakers provide the audience
dom for all the mankind. Praise be to Allah! The one and only
with diversity and a unique approach
God, Creator and Sustainer of the universe Continued on page 7 >>>>
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010
which differs from that of local speakers. However, this may lead
to a major disadvantage. I am sure it is agreed that one of the pur-
poses of Muharram is to be able to encourage the followers of
Ahlul-Bayt to make more long-term commitments to Islam. Usu-
ally when a speaker has an impact on an individual there is a level
of fraternity embedded between the listener and the speaker,
whereby the listener seeks to pursue their spiritual goals with the
speaker. When the speaker needs to leave, this contact too ceases
which may lead to a fragmented impact in the long-term for the
listeners.
This month, we shall focus on one of the most common causes of divorce– that of no mutual understanding. We shall try to
decipher the roots of this problem and attempt to suggest possible long term remedies for this disease.
The Pathology of Divorce– No Mutual Understanding
Series of Lectures presented by Sh. Mansour Leghaei– Written by Abidali Mohamedali
The main causes of divorce
To fully understand a problem, the first point of discussion has
to be the causes of the problem so as to alleviate the likelihood of
that problem recurring. But in all cases, prevention is certainly
better than cure. It is therefore important that before delving into
discussions on the causes of divorce that the very first step to
marriage, i.e. spouse selection be analysed. It is certain that if the
reasons for marriage and the choice of spouse is not ideal, the
possibility of marital problems and therefore divorce is greatly
increased.
The human being has 4 major stages of life,
1. The crisis of Birth- In this stage it is not only the baby but
the mother as well undergoes severe crisis. Apart from the
pangs of childbirth, the child is extremely sensitive to the en-
vironment and is fragile and weak. Inappropriate care at this
stage in life could mean disability and problems for the rest of
life.
2. Crisis of puberty and Adolescence- this is the crisis a human
faces when he/she becomes an adult and therefore faces adult
responsibilities after life of being a child. This stage involves
numerous physical, biological and mental challenges that are
often misunderstood or not well understood by parents. This
often leads to family problems. Again, severe mistakes or cor-
rect decisions made at this stage can result in a miserable or
misguided life or a happy and well adjusted life.
3. Crisis of Marriage- In this stage again, one is expecting to live
with the person of choice for a long time usually more than
half of ones life and more than the time one has spent with
their siblings and parents. This critical aspect of ones life
would determine if he/she is happy or miserable the rest of
their lives.
4. Crisis of Death- This is the last stage and perhaps the most
critical as it can determine the nature of life in the hereafter.
Of all these stages, birth, puberty and death are natural challenges
for the human. These challenges face all humans and are usually
never controllable or predictable. One has to deal with them as
7
Finally, many of these gatherings are held within the same vicin-
ity and at the same time, and sometimes this can lead to division
and a sense of competition between different groups of Muslims.
This is a highly undesirable outcome which one hopes will be
avoided through the common sense and intelligence of the atten-
dees and organisers of all the different gatherings.
In any case, the community must analyse and discuss this issue
and decide, come next Muharram, whether we prefer a centralised
approach that may somehow still offer choice, or continue on the
path of increasing diversity?
and when such crisis appears.
The only one that the
human has full control
over is the crisis of
marriage. There is no
pressure or force ap-
plied by Islam in
spouse selection and
once selected one can
only blame or be
proud of oneself only for that decision. This therefore
means that the decision of being happy or miserable in marriage
is entirely up to the individual. Therefore one of the primary
causes of divorce is the incorrect decision one makes at the time
of marriage. Nevertheless, having made such a decision, there are
several factors that catalyse or precipitate the outcome of divorce.
These causes fall in two broad categories:
1. Causes of divorce claimed by applicants themselves
2. Real causes, or other causes, causes that are often not ac-
knowledged nor apparent to the applicants
Of these ‘real causes’ there are 5 typical (most common) causes of
divorce:
 No mutual understanding
 Domestic Violence
 Drugs, alcohol and gambling,
 Remarriage (or infidelity (cheating))
 Critical financial problems
In the next series of articles, we shall analyse in detail each of the
causes and tease out the real and apparent reasons for such causes
and how to tackle such problems. We start with the first and most
common one: No mutual understanding.
No Mutual Understanding
Almost every single case of divorce is due to family problems
which arise as a result of some form of misunderstanding that
usually snowballs into a serious problem. Although as humans we
Continued on page 8 >>>>
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010 8

are gifted with the ability to communicate, often this very com- statement neither was relevant to the situation nor was it said
munication can lead to our undoing. There are several disadvan- with particular intent, malicious or not.
tages to verbal communication, some of which will be highlighted
here in the context of relationships. The classic situation and thought processes outlined below dem-
onstrates these phenomena and proves that a slight change in
Problem of expression of thought- thinking can make a world of difference in any relationship.
As humans, we do not have the ability to read minds which may
seem like an obvious statement but is often one of the fundamen- Main Causes of Misunderstanding
tal causes of misunderstandings. The human language by its very
There are a few major causes of misunderstandings between peo-
nature is very limited by the ambiguity of statements and the use
ple in any relationship
of similes and synonyms which often do not correlate with the
Different perspectives- often people do not place themselves
thought process. The classic example of this in Shakespeare’s
into the situation of the other to understand the attitudes of the
‘Romeo and Juliet’ where Romeo says ‘tomorrow you shall find
person. An example would be a man coming home, having lost
me a grave man’. This word ‘grave’ can have the meaning of sad
his job, would be depressed and sad while his wife, having heard
or alternatively the meaning of ‘dead’!
of the birth of her niece would be happy and elated. If not han-
dled properly, this could be a source of friction and conflict.
Problem of dialogue between the deaf!
Hidden thoughts- Often hidden thoughts lead to misguided
It has been proven psychologically that we listen to words and
judgments and misunderstandings
interpret them on personal experience rather than the reality of
the words spoken. It has been shown further that
the conclusions we make from what we hear is
based on what is talked about and what experi-
ence we have had previously in regards to that
issue. An example which is often cited in this
context is the rather hilarious yet relevant and
poignant tale of the family of the deaf.

The tale is that a poor, unemployed deaf man

happened to meet one of his friends who greeted
him. The deaf man assumed that he was being
offered a job and rushed to tell his wife what he
thought he had heard. The wife, also deaf, as-
sumed that the husband was informing her that
he has bought her a necklace that she had always
dreamed of! She ran to her daughter, also deaf,
who longed to be married, with this wonderful
news. As expected the daughter got really excited
assuming that the mother was informing her of a
suitor! She ran with this news to the grand-
mother, also deaf, and told her of this. The grand-
mother, who was thirsty told her ‘apple juice is
fine!’. The story could be extrapolated any number of ways but
Choosing the wrong time to discuss things- This often leads to
importantly serves to make the point that it is often we do not
conflict as the mind is not able to grasp the issue as it is dis-
talk to each other but interpret what we hear and therefore if we
tracted by the current situation
do not associate a person or an issue with something positive, we
Pessimism- Negative thinking often leads to inappropriate inter-
cannot appreciate what is being said or the person saying it!
pretations of actions and words and leads to the vicious cycle of
thought and action as illustrated above.
Ambiguity-
Often what is said is not what is meant as a person cannot articu-
late their exact thoughts into words. Again pointing to the defi- Etiquette of Conversation
ciency of this form of communication. In order to tackle this particular cause of divorce, and in fact con-
tribute to every form of relationship, significant changes need to
Reticular Activating System (RAS)- take place in the method of conversation. Simple yet effective
This is the part of the brain which interprets stimuli from the techniques may alleviate many relationship problems. Some of
senses based on previous experience or consciousness. A person these etiquettes are outlined below:
driving a new red car would suddenly more clearly be able to no-
tice other similar red cars on the road while one who has no such Think before you talk. It is a fact that, once something has been
experience would not even notice this phenomenon. Similarly, in said, it is very difficult to take back especially if the consequences
conversation, it often happens that one party would focus on a have already taken place. It is therefore
statement or word that activates the RAS, whether or not that Continued on page 9 >>>>
 Al-Fajr– Vol. 5 (2)- 2010
imperative, that in order to have a healthy relationship, one
chews one’s words before throwing them out. Thinking about the
consequences, benefits or harms of the words often would lead to
holding back of those words.
Choose your words carefully- It is important that in
a marital relationship, it be kept in mind that
the spouse is a loved one and therefore
deserves more respect and appreciation
than anyone else. It is important for
men for instance to go home with a
smiling face and be happy about go-
ing home, joke with their wife and not
with others or others’ wives! Similarly,
it is important for wives to be smiling
with their husbands and choose words
carefully when speaking to their hus-
bands.
Stand under- This is the real meaning of understand!- It is impor-
tant to stand in the shoes of the other party and understand the
reasons and motivations of the spouse before commenting, hav-
ing negative thoughts and making judgments. This also includes
standing on ones own ego and suppress pride to be able to let in
the thoughts of other people especially one’s loved one.
Listen attentively and positively- This is often the major prob-
lem for both spouses as seen in the dialogue of the deaf. For both,
leaving work at work is often a good place to start. Focusing and
being sympathetic to problems of the spouse however trivial they
may seem, paying attention when being spoken to and using body
language to assist communication.
If needed, ask the speakers to explain what they really meant-
It is often best to ask the spouse about what they really meant
than getting one’s own interpretation or an interpretation of a
third party. It is important not to jump to conclusions without
clarifying the idea of what was said. Why would one seek the
interpretation of a verse of the
Quran, from other than the H.
Prophet at the time of the
Prophet?
Ask - but amicably- When clarify-
ing a statement or a comment, it
is important to ask with humility
and with a sincere and genuine
need to clarify the issue, not arro-
gantly and with anger and hatred.
Choose the correct time- It is fundamentally important to
choose the correct time to ask a question or to raise a sensitive
issue. Having lived together, spouses are expected to understand
the sensitive times or frame of mind their partner may be in and
therefore avoid bringing up sensitive issues at that time.
Avoid sensitive jokes- Psychologists say that up to 60% of jokes
are serious! It is therefore important not to joke about what is
sensitive to either partner. Sensitive issues such as joking about
9
member of the opposite sex will often lead to conflict due to the
presence of the zealot nature of both sexes especially that of
males.
No Honesty!- This advice may at first seem contrary to intuition
but is often a cause of friction between couples.
Often, just to fill conversation gaps, a party may
talk about bad things one may have committed in
the past that either may have no relevance to the
conversation or indeed to the future. It is advised
that certain secrets be kept secret i.e. not exposed
to the spouse as those secrets are probably things
that one has already regretted and repented for.
Not everything in ones previous life need to be
discussed especially that of previous relationships,
as this can plant the seeds of jealousy and suspicion.
Men and women communicate differently- Just as there are
physical differences between the sexes, the verbal communicative
differences can sometimes be overlooked. It is important to un-
derstand the technique of conversation of the spouse so as not to
misunderstand. It has been shown that women have more ad-
vanced communication skills than men. Other differences that
need to be understood include:
 Women enjoy talking more than Men- This has been
proven scientifically.
 Women ask to continue conversation while men ask to
get to the point- Women often enjoy conversing with their
husbands and therefore prefer to talk.
 Most women, at time of distress, talk to other women-
This is a problem women need to overcome. Although this is
not a problem entirely due to women, men often do not lis-
ten or pay attention to the problem driving women to speak
to others. It has been shown that up to 68% of women prefer
talking to a female mate (mother, sister, friend) at times of
conflict. There are 2 major problems associated with this be-
havior:
 Rumors- The personal family problems inevitable
spreads to the entire community and therefore making
the situation even worse.
 Wrong advice- Friends, parents or siblings often give the
wrong advice therefore resulting in a further aggravation
of the situation.
 Women reveal their feelings more than men when they
talk- The classic ‘tears on tap’ is often as a result of the emo-
tional thinking and often misunderstanding of the real situa-
tion.
 Women believe that communication can solve marital
problems- This is a correct assumption as men often believe
there is nothing to talk about. This is often rooted in the
mans’ pride, arrogance and fear. It is absolutely imperative
that problems are solved early and misunderstandings clari-
fied early before any permanent damage is done. It is impor-
tant that couples do not visit secular counselors due to their
poor understanding of the religion and divorce in particular
in addition to their financial motive for assistance. Speaking
to a qualified experienced religious counselor early and regu-
larly after marriage can often solve all such problems.
 Wake Up O People!
Sayyida Zaynab (as) in the bazaar in Kufa

‚All Praise is due to Allah peace and blessings be upon my
[grand] father Muhammad (S) and upon his good and righteous
Progeny (‘a). Now then, O Kufans! O men of vaunt! O treacher-
ous men! O retreaters! Beware! May Allah not stop your tears and
may your chests burn incessantly with the fire of grief and sor-
row. Your example is that of a woman who assiduously prepares a
strong rope and then untwines it herself, wasting her own hard
labour." You have broken your
pledges by deceit and there remains
nothing in you except pretence, self-
conceit, exorbitance and dishonesty.
You have adopted the flatter of maids
and coquettishness of the enemies as
your customs. Your similitude is of
that of vegetation that grows on filthy
soil and is yet green, or like the mor-
tar applied unto graves.
You should know that you have perpetrated a very morbid deed
and have prepared evil provision for your next life, because of
which Allah's anger is against you and His wrath would fall upon
you.
Now you are crying aloud and wailing over my brother! Yes, cry,
because it behoves you to cry. Yes, weep profusely and laugh less, the sky? In any case you should mind that the chastisement of the
because you have earned the shame of killing the Imam of the age. Next World will be severe. At that juncture there will be no one to
The stain of his blood is now on your clothes and you cannot
remove it, nor can you secure acquittal from the charge of killing Allah as small and unimportant, and do not be satisfied with it
the son of the last Prophet of Allah, the Chief of the youths in
Paradise, the General of the battlefield, and an Asylum of your
group. He was a residence of repose for you and your well-being.
He healed your wounds and safeguarded you against whatever evil
came towards you. You approached him when you quarrelled
among yourselves. He was your best counsel and you relied upon
him, and he was a lantern of your path.
"Know that you have been guilty of the most heinous crime in
the world and have prepared the worst provision for the Day of
Judgment. Curses be upon you and may destruction overtake you.
Your efforts have gone wasted and you have been ruined. You have
transacted a losing trade. You have occupied a place in Allah's
wrath, while the stamp of contempt and misfortune is sealed upon
your forehead.
Woe be to you! Do you know that you have am-
putated the dear child of Muhammad (S)?
And what pledge have you broken off from
him? And what endeared family of his have
you brought out onto the streets? And what
veil of sanctity have you snatched away
from them? And what blood have you shed
from him? What an awry thing have you
brought forth that it is likely that the
heavens would fall down and the earth
would disperse, while the mountains
would crumble down as much as the fill of the earth and the heav-
ens.
By killing your Imam you have committed a singularly evil act of
rebellious behaviour and heedlessness towards dignity. In view of
all these acts would you wonder if blood should rain down from
help you. Do not regard the time and opportunity given you by
because if Allah is not quick in acting it does not imply that He is
unable. For Him there is no fear that the time of vengeance is
passing away. Allah is certainly waiting in ambush for you.‛
This speech is compiled from the writings of Sheikh al-Óusi in his Amali
as well as that of his son, from Al-Luhuf of Ibn ÓawÙs,, Ibn Nama, Ibn
Shahr Ashub, and from al-Tabarsi's book Al-Itijaj.

Being one of the most active communities in Sydney. The Imam Husain Islamic Centre Offers a wide
range of activities throughout the year and for all ages. This is an opportunity for you to awaken your
conscience and take a stand against ignorance and prejudice. www.ihic.org.au

Activities at the Imam Husain Islamic Centre

•Congregational Daily Prayers
• Friday Prayers
• Weekly Supplications:
-Dua A’hd – Every Morning
-Dua Nudba – Every Friday Morning
-Dua Tawassul – Tuesday Evenings
-Dua Kumayl – Thursday Evenings
 Classes
-Adult Hawza-Sun. Mon. Wed.
-Islamic studies and Quran Classes for
children– detailed right panels
-Friday Evening Lecture by Sh. Mansour