The Gate Escape

Mark Wheeller
The Gate Escape was first performed in a co-production by the Haymarket
Theatre and Solent Peoples Theatre, in Spring and Autumn Terms 2003.
The play is about truancy, which addresses a social issue relevant to a
contemporary audience. Wheellers intentions were to inform and educate his
audience, thus making this a Theatre in Education piece. From this my group
and I decided that our target audience should be Year 8 boys at our School, as
the characters themselves are in Year 10, we thought a slightly younger
audience would look up to the characters and would be able to learn from their
mistakes. Therefore, when developing my skill as actor it was important for me
to present a convincing portrayal of [character name] that Year 8 pupils would
relate to.
Cast List
Chalkie White
Ali
Beet
Corey Hudson
(Bertie
Truants 1- 4
Coreys Teacher
Voice
Year 11 Student
Mike
Chalkies Teachers
Mrs Picklewitch
Peter Performer
Deathwish OConnor
Big Beanie
Little Beanie
Terry Gale
Police
TV Film Crew

A
A
A
A
A

boy in Year 10
boy in Year 10
boy in Year 10
new boy in Year 10
boy in Year 10

M1
M3
M2
M4
M5)
M2, M3, M4, M5

M5
Off stage recorded
Coreys Dad
Chalkies English Teacher
Star of School Plays
Year 10 school bully
Deathwishs sidekick
Deathwishs sidekick
Superstar guitarist, Year 10
M2,

M5
M3
M2
M2, M3, M4
M3
M2
M2
M3
M4
M2
M2
M3, M4

Section 1: Chalkies Final Bunk

Music plays loudly. Chalkie, Ali, Beet, Berty run on followed by Corey, who
remains slightly behind the others as they arrive on stage and play with a range
of discarded objects. These might include a lampshade, an old tyre, a ball, a
torn and muddy office chairs on sheets, fold-up chair, a work out suitcase, a
rolled rug and a plastic milk crate.
They use these objects in a range of imaginative ways setting up a high energy
start to the play with mini scenarios generating an idea of the fun they are
having. Finally they use this rubbish to set up their home/den (cotchment).
They settle.
Chalkie:

Id love to be in a Big Brother for teenagers, you know, our age!

Ali:

Youd be funny.

Chalkie:

Id love it.

Beet:

Chalkie, whod want to watch you for 9 weeks?

Ali:

Itd be a laugh.

Chalkie:

I bet you would watch it Beet

Beet:

Id vote you out mate!

Chalkie:

Thanks a lot.

Ali:

70,000 just think what you could do with that!

Beet:

They wouldnt have a big prize like that, itd be more like

Berty:

a ten quid WH Smiths voucher!

Chalkie:

Id do it for thatno probsId do it for nothing!

Chalkie:

Ive got the video all sorted out.

Beet:

What video?

Chalkie:

The one you have to send off for Big Brother.

Beet:

Youd do a strip or something.

Chalkie:

Nothey dont accept them if theyre porny!

Chalkie:

Mined be a laugh.
Chalkie hands a hand held camcorder to Ali who films him as he
talksthe film is projected on to a screen live.

Ali, Berty,
Beet:

Youre going to tell us all about it, arent you Chalkie?

Chalkie:

You bet I am! Id be on a unicycle.

Beet:

(Laughing) You cant ride one!

Berty:

You cant even ride a bike!

Chalkie:

I can learn.

Ali:

Shut up, let him do it.

Beet:

Its minging!

Ali:

Its funny Go on Chalkie

Chalkie:

Id be on my unicycle and I'd say

Id like to be in the Big Brother House cos I know Im gonna be a
celebrity and this seems a good way of making it big time! Im a
singer in a band

Beet:

Since when?

Chalkie:

Summer holidays.

Ali:

What are they called?

Chalkie:

The Ghostly Grasshoppers

Ali, Beet,
Berty:

Seventies or what?

Beet:

You sad git Chalkie!

Chalkie:

When I was five I had my palm read..and this old woman said that
by the time I was 24 Id be famous

Ali:

Seriously Chalkie?

Chalkie:

Nobut they wont know that

Beet:

They don't like people going in just to get famous

Chalkie:

Well I aint gonna lie!

Beet:

What about the fortune teller?

Chalkie:

Thats different!

Ali:

Ignore him Chalkie

Chalkie:

Big Brother is my first opportunity to make people laugh

Beet:

Thatll be a first!

Chalkie:

To give the girls something to get excited about

Ali:

Go Chalkie!

Berty:

Yeah, right!

Chalkie:

But more than anything Ill guarantee to increase the viewing

figures with me I dont quite know what Ill say herebutwell
what do you think?

Beet:

Chalkie it sucks!

Chalkie:

(Introducing Beet. The camera focuses on Beet) Then Ill have a bit
where Ill introduce my mates First Beet.

Beet:

I aint a mate Chalkie dont flatter yourself.

Chalkie:

Beet is a moany old gitalways complaining about something

Beet:

Thats better!

Chalkie:

Most people who meet Beet think his name is spelt b.e.a.t but
no b.e.e.t. Adam, that was his real name, was the only boy we
know, who liked beetroot he had loads at his sixth birthday part
(Beet actsout what Chalkie describesthe others react) and then
spewed a vibrant purple vomit all over his cake when he was
blowing the candles out!

Beet:

Wicked, eh?

Chalkie:

From them on, Adam was known as Beetroot but it got shortened
to Beet. (He takes the camera from Ali and turns it on him.)
Ali Top lad of our school, of out neighbourhood of the world!

Ali:

Shut up Chalkie!

Chalkie:

He got into drugs and stuff and I didn't really want to get involved.
This is Berty. His real name is Joe, and his surname is Bassett, so we
call him Berty Bassett. Hes been my mate since we were born. We
have the same birthday.

Berty:

Alright Chalkie, dont broadcast it.

Chalkie:

This is their cotchment. They come here when theyre bunking off
school it's just a bush but theyve put types, crates and stuff, like
seats in it

Beet:

We even double glazed it!

Ali, Beet,
Berty:

Double glazed!

Chalkie:

And this is Corey. Its his first day here.

Berty:

Hes a new boy!

Beet:

(To Corey) how come to you changed school them?

Chalkie:

Not like ours is worth changing to

Beet:

You got kicked out for causing trouble, dint ya>

Corey:
Ali:

No!
You did!

Ali, Chalkie,
Berty, Beet:What happened then?
Corey:
Ali:
Corey:

Nothing
Must have done.
It didnt!

Beet:

No one comes to this school unless something bads happened.

Chalkie:

And no one bunks on their first day

Corey:

Well it hasnt!

Ali, Chalkie,
Berty, Beet:It was so obviously not the truth!
Chalkie:

(Melodramatic American accent) And.. with my secret powers I

could see straight through this tissue of lies. Corey had left his
school because he had done some

Ali, Chalkie,
Berty, Beet:Something dreadful!
5

Chalkie:

(Enacts with Ali, Berty and Beet) poisoned his best friendfallen
madly and passionately in love with

Ali, Chalkie,
Berty, Beet:the School Nurse!!
Chalkie:

Covered the Senior teachers in earwax and gently set fire to them
(sighs and suddenly reverts to normal voice delivering the line fairly
quickly for comic effect.)..or was it simply because he had an
unusual name and weird hair. Anyway.. thats it.. I hope you choose
me for Big Brotheryou wont regret it if you do. Trust me! (the
camcorder is switched off at this point.)

Ali:

You going to apply then?

Chalkie:

Youve got to be eighteen.

Ali:

(to Chalkie) I wish I was like you!

Beet:

What do you mean?

Ali:

Clever.

Beet:

He aint clever,

Ali:

Yeah, but good at school

Chalkie:

Well I wish I was a bit moreI dunno nothing seems to bother

either of you you dont care what people think.

Beet:

Im glad Im me. Wouldnt want to be either of you losers. I just wish

I wasnt leaving!

Ali:

Its gonna be weird without you Beet. Well weird.

(Offering Corey a joint.) Come on Corey

Beet:

Leave himits a waste!

Corey:

(Refusing politely) 's alright. I got fags. (He takes out a cigarette
[mimed] and lights it up.)

Ali:

Dont you do these them? (Corey shakes his head.)

I thought youd be a laugh.

Beet:

Chalkie catch this!

(he hurls an object at Chalkie and it develops into a game [or
stylised movement sequence] denoting the passage of time, with

Chalkie, Ali, Berty and Beet throwing something around and Corey
watching on his own)
Chalkie:

My moment arrived in a year 7 lesson to ask a highly charged and

original question. I moved with confidence to a place where
everyone could see me. And stood up erect like a like an erect
thing!
Miss Whats circumcision?

Beet:

(they all laugh) I cracked up when you asked that Chalkie!

Chalkie:

It was in the Bible you hardly expect

Ali:

Chalkie it was a Maths lesson

Ali, Berty,
Beet:

Circumference! (they laugh)

Chalkie:

Surprised you were there Ali what was it?

Berty, Beet,
Chalkie:
First Maths lesson of the year?
Ali:
Corey:

Shut it!
I wish Id stayed in school!

Beet:

Go back then!

Berty:

No one is stopping you from leaving.

Corey:

I might just unless

Berty, Chalkie,
Beet,Ali:
Unless what?
Corey:

Dunno but this is stupid!

Berty, Chalkie,
Beet,Ali:
What?
Corey:

Babyishthis den

Ali:

What do you want to do then, Corey?

Chalkie:

Now, I dont consider myself to proper bunk like regular.. my

problem was being easily led you could say I suffered terminally
from that,., and I had a bad dose of it on this day.. because before I
know where I was,,,, we were all off, including me out of the cotch

and on our way into town. Not what I intended to do at all I was
trying to avoid trouble not create it!
Berty, Corey,
Beet,Ali:
Chalkie come on! Don't you ever stop narrating! (they exit)
Chalkie:

As we made our way to town youd be amazed at what wed see

armies of truant

Truants 1, 2:
Chalkie:

Halt! (they pull up to attention)

Well, not a uniformed gun slinging army exactly, but a lot some in
groups like us

Truants 3-4:Welike terrorising people, throwing things, and if we see

anything good we nick it!!!
Chalkie:

(Adopting the manner of a TV reporter) And what do you do if

anyone annoys you?

Truants 1-4:We start a bit of aggro!!

Chalkie:

So there we were.. in the town centre not by any stretch of the

imagination the only ones whod bunked off which made what
happened next all the more bizarre!

Voice:

(Amplified with echo and high volume)

Hello Chalkie.

Chalkie:

Hello?

Voice:

How are you today?

Chalkie:

Im fine. Yeh good. Well, OK.

Voice:

How do you feel about what the group is doing at the moment?

Ali:

Chalkie? Did you hear a voice?

Chalkie:

No.

Ali:

Chalkie you did cos I heard it too.

Berty, Beet,
Corey:
And me!
Corey:

Hello there disembodied voice hos can we help you?

Voice:

Hello Corey.

Corey:

How the?

Voice:

I am here to forewarn you of a dramatic end to your mornings

truancy
Well, well go back them. (they all turn to leave, but are stopped in
their tracks.)

Chalkie:
Voice:

Too late.

Chalkie:

What do you mean?

Voice:

Theres no turning back fate has decided.

Beet:

Ive been caught loads of times before it never bothers me all

that happens is:

Teachers 1-2:

Where were you?

Teacher 1: Where did you go?

Teacher 2: What on earth were you doing?
Teachers 1-2:

You could have been killed!

Teacher 1: People get into all sorts of rouble when they truant.
Teacher 2: All sorts of trouble!
Teacher 1: And, if theres a fire in the building, we dont know youre out of
school
Teacher 2: Someone may go risking their lives searching for you..
Beet:

Was there?

Teachers 1-2:

Thats not the point!

Teacher 1: Now, just to show you how angry I am,m Im going to ask you to.
ALL:

Dun dun dahr!!!!

Teachers 1-2:

Give me your planner!!!

Teacher 2: And if you think you are going out at Break and lunchtime
Teachers 1-2:
Beet:
9

Youve got another think coming!! (add appropriate laugh!)

And thats all that happens just a little bit of bother.

Voice:

Oh no! Today will be. Big Bother!

ALL:

Big Bother?

Voice:

Big Bother.

Beet:

Well it wont bother me.. Im leaving!

Corey:

Were all going to get really done?

Voice:

Not all of you.

ALL:

What?

Voice:

One of you shall face this Big Bother alone.

The members of the group should make thir nominations.

Chalkie:

Beet, cos hes really annoyed me today..and hes leaving. And

Corey, cos hes new.

Berty:

I would so vote for Corey and Ali. They are well dull.

Ali:

Chalkie, not because of anything hes done.. its just that I dont
want anything to happen to Beet, hes like my best mate.. and this
is his last day. And Corey, cos hes new.

Corey:

Beet and Berty cos theyve been horrible to Chalkie, and he aint
that bad.

Beet:

Chalkie, I really hope its Chalkie, hell be well gutted! (does a one
fingered salute) and Corey cos hes wet!

Voice:

The nominations are complete. The decision has been made.

Chalkie:

Come on who is it?

(silence)

Ali:

Come on!

Voice:

The two characters nominated to play for the right to avoid the Big
Bother are in alphabetical order: (silence)

Chalkie:

Get on with it.

Beet:

Dont know why youre all getting so stressed it cant be that bad!

Ali:

So come on then!

10

Chalkie:

Yeh whos it going to be?

Berty:

Come on, tell us!!

Voice:

Chalkie and (silence)

Beet:

Wicked!

Corey:

Please dont let it be me!

Voice:

Corey.

Corey:

(sarcastically.) Oh great!

Chalkie:

Its unfair

Voice:

All of you chose to be herefate can only choose from those who
present themselves.

Chalkie:

I didnt

ALL:

You did Chalkie

Chalkie:

(To Ali, Beet and Berty) You talked me into it!

Beet:

But you chose to come with us!

Ali:

Of your own free will.

Berty:

No one forced you.

Chalkie:

(to Voice) Beet and Alitheyre always bunking anywaywhat is

this ending?

Voice:

All will be revealedwhen you complete the task.

Chalkie:

Come on then lets get this over and done with.

Voice:

You first Chalkie!

Chalkie:

OK and I hope the Voice notices this Im going first please take
that into consideration when making your decision! Right!

11

Section 2: Chalkies First Bunk

ALL:

(adopting new position/characters.)

Chalkies first bunk!

Chalkie:

I had problems with swimming dating back to when I was fourmy

dad decided to teach me.

Chalkies Dad:

I just grabbed him and

ALL:

Threw him in the deep end!

Ali:

Thus a rubber ring became our heros embarrassing companion in

the water

Chalkie:

So when I heard we had swimming one day in Year 61well I had

no choice.

Corey:

Bunking

Beet:

Skiving..

Ali:

Chipping off

Berty:

Wagging it

Chalkie:

Or to give it its proper handle

ALL:

Truanting.

Chalkie:

I kept on thinkingIm going to get grounded for this is my parents

fine out! but it was worth it my secret rubber ring relationship
was safe.
I was dependant on bunking it was one super-sure way of avoiding
problems.

Ali:

Enter Problem (Physically blocks Chalkie.)

Beet:

So what does Chalkie do?

Corey:

(Chalking hammers at Ali) Try to batter it down?

ALL:

No!

Corey:

(Chalking converses at Ali) Tries to talk it into submissions?

ALL:

No!

12

Berty:

(Chalking makes Ali look in one direction and runs off in another.)
Plays a trick on it and runs off?

ALL:

No! No! and No again!

Corey:

So Chalkie what so you do?

Chalkie:

I simply approach the problem (Approaches Ali.) and if I cant see

a resolution I side step it and calmly walk away. (The others clap
and cheer.) So you see I was lucky nothing to do with my
background or whatever it was always down to a situation I found
myself in and Id only choose to bunk if I needed to avoid some
embarrassment or trouble

Corey:

Whereas me

13

Section 3: Coreys story

Corey:

Bunking was my drug. This risk of getting caught provided the

buzz if you walk round the corner and see the police your heart
does and its like a mad rush.. but when you get away with it its
just youre even more determined to do it again.

ALL:

(over the top)So Corey, how did it begin?

Corey:

In year 6 my friend was doing it but I was so scared of what my

mum and dad would say that I didnt do it again. I proper started
bunking whole days of at Secondary school.

Ali:

Its harder at Junior School cos you only have one teacher so
youre noticed more easily.

Corey:

But when you get to Secondary School its we its so easy

Chalkie:

Nobody knows you

Corey:

Its so tempting just to

Chalkie:

All it needs is for

Corey:

Something to happen

Chalkie:

Could be anything

Teacher:

Have you done your homework Corey Hudson?

Corey:

The bird escaped last night Sir and then, while we were out looking
for it, the neighbours dog messed on my homework sirI didnt
think youd want it all sticky and stinking of dog-pooh.

Teacher:

Dont try and pull the wool over my eyes.

Corey:

Do what?

Teacher:

You havent done it, have you?

Corey:

No Sir.

Teacher:

If it happens again, youll have a detention

Corey:

OK Sir thank-you Sir.

Teacher:

Now be on your wayCorey (sensing danger)...be careful

Chalkie:

But he was too late

14

A year 11 student escaping from a supply teachers nightmare

(Enter like an out of control aeroplane) piles down the corridorat
what seems like a hundred miles an hour!
ALL:

Aaaargh!!!

Chalkie:
The crash of year 11 muscle into a fragile year 7s bones echoes
along the corridor.
ALL:

Coreys first flying lesson.

Chalkie:

He soars through the air and falls to the cheap marble effect floor
with a mildly entertaining

ALL:

CRASH!

Chalkie:

Heads poke out of doors to see whats going on as the year 11 turns
to speak to our hero.

Year 11:

Thatll teach you to watch where youre going!

Chalkie:

And Corey Hudson is left alone to moisten the cheap marble effect
floor with the wetness of his tears. Then, like a monster emerging
from the dust he risesand the silence is shattered by a desperate
shrieking

Corey:

I hate this bloody placeI hate itnobody cares!

Chalkie:

Corey wanted to be anywhere but here

Berty:

Anywhere

Chalkie:

Home

Beet:

Town

Ali:

An orchard

Chalkie:

Inside sea shell

Beet:

Stuck to the slippery floor of an unwahed pig-sty

Chalkie:

At his Grans having some rock-hard fruitcake.

Corey:

(warning.) Chalkie!

Ali:

Corey wanted to be anywhere

ALL:

Well almost anywhere

15

Ali:

but here!

Chalkie:

He thought things could never get any worse

Corey:

(Beet swiftly adopts the role of Coreys very elderly Granny. Corey
looks up.)
Gran? What are you going here?

Beet:

Ive brought you some of that lovely fruitcake you like when you
come round to mine!

Corey:

Beet!!!

Beet:

With cake and fruit in it

Corey:

Beet! Take that ridiculous costume off and

Beet:

Only having a laugh.

Chalkie:

Corey thought things could never get any worse

ALL:

but they did.

Chalkie:

At the start of year 8, an announcement was made.

Corey:

I couldnt believe it we were all being put in different

classesgrouped according to our ability Id done well in my
SATs back in year 6 so I wasnt worried then..

Teacher:

Corey Hudsonyou will be in the Muppet class.

Corey:

But Sire I want to be with Dave..Ive been with him since

reception!

Teacher:

Dave Swottalot, your best friend for the last seven years in to be in
the Boffins classwell done Dave but dont worry Coreyyoull
probably still see him every now and thenPEDramaif he wants
to be seen with a Muppet that is!

Corey:

I just thoughtif theyve decided Im a Muppet well whats the

point?

Chalkie:

So Corey was riperipe for bunkingeverything in place he just

needed a a catalystsomething or someoneto trigger it into
action
Phone call from school

Mike:

Hello

16

Teacher

Good morning Mr Hudson. This is Mr Smith, head of year 8.

Mike:

Good morning Mr Smith. How can I help you?

Teacher:

Im afraid that Corey has been found taking drugs

Mike:

Drugs?

Corey:

I didnt take nothing.

Mike:

Not what they said.

Corey:

No proof theyre lying

Mike:

You admit you were there.

Corey:

Yeh.

Mike:

Why?

Corey:

I wasnt feeling well.

Mike:

You should have been in the sick room.

Corey:

It was too boring.

Mike:

And taking drugs was going to make everything alright was it?

Corey:

I dont do that stuff. The police found usfound a bongthey took it

awaynoted down our names

Mike:

I dont know what Ive done to deserve all this?!

Corey:

Chuck me out thenI know thats what you want o do go on

chuck me out!

Mike:

(Quietly) You know thats not what I want.

Corey:

But I got chucked out all the same.

(Silence)

17

Section 4: Chalkies Life in Secondary School

Chalkie:

When I went on to Secondary School some of the teachers felt that

they already knew me as they knew my older brother, Marvin. Miss
Picklewitch thought I was my brother but on a really bad day!
This made life worse for me because Miss Picklewitch was
organising the School Play which would, I hoped, launch me showbiz
career! I went to the audition full of confidence to be greeted by:

Mrs P:

Chalkie White? You must be in the wrong room!

Chalkie:

The auditions Miss?

Mrs P:

Yes.

Chalkie:

The audition for Stanley Smang Slipped on a Banana Then Got

Up Again!

Mrs P:

You will be auditioning for my play?

Chalkie:

Yes Miss

Mrs P:

If you must there take a seat at the front by Peter Performer.

Chalkie:

Id been ignored completely, but I sat there in silence sharing Peter

Performers book envying his every line, and occasionally having to
inhale his silent but deadly ones after his dodgy curry last night.
Then the unforgivable happenedduring the speech which led to
the tragic climax of the play Stanley Smang slipping over

Peter:

(Reading) Tiddley Smangcome herenow listenwhen you finish

that banana put the skin over there in the bin (Peter then
appears to make a loud farting sound. He continues to read as
though nothing has happened.) or there could be a most terrible
accident.

Mrs P:

Chalkie White stand up.

Chalkie:

(Standing.) Yes Miss.

Mrs P:

If you think you can come to these auditions to distract Peter

Performer by making such a disgusting noise while hes reading the
most important speech in my play youve got another think
coming.

18

Section 5: Corey versus the Whole World.

Deathwish: Not so fast Corey Hudson.
Corey:

Deathwish OConnor?

Deathwish: The same.

Corey:

I aint scared of you.

ALL:

Everyone was scared of Deathwish OConnor.

Deathwish: And why was that

ALL:

Because you was very, very scary

Corey:

Deathwish was in the Year below me, and not particularly big..

Chalkie:

What had you done to upset him then?

Corey:

He said Id

Deathwish: been sarcastic to my mate BeanieBig Beanie.

Corey:

(Laughing.) Big Beanie? I dont even know

Big Beanie: You do Corey Hudson

Corey:

All I said was was to stop staring.

Deathwish: No-one tells Big Beanie to stop staring

Corey:

Well I did!

Deathwish: You want to say that now cos hes staring at you!
Big Beanie: Yeahtell me know!
Deathwish: Come on Corey Hudsontell him to stop staring.
Little Beanie:

Im staringand Im getting really grossed out!

Deathwish: Thats cos what you're staring at is..

Big Beanie: Gross, Deathwish
Deathwish: Hes stupid and if he don't tell you to stop staring
Corey:

I aint scared of you..

Deathwish: Go get him!

19

Corey:

I ran out of school.

Chalkie:

So what happened then?

Corey:

I went back to MumsWell it was Dad who really pushed to have

me back. He said he wasnt happy about me staying at my aunties.
It was then that they said I was to move schools and have a fresh
start. But it was them that didnt accept that they needed a fresh
start! It was trial separation after trial separation. I went along with
the plan, as I was just fed up of being in the middle of their petty
arguments.

20

Section 6: When Corey Meets Chalkie

Chalkie:

So Corey came to our schooland there he met Beet, Ali and

Berty oh and me of course I didnt really hang round with them
much cos by this time my best mate was

ALL:

Terry Gale

Terry:

(Enters with guitar) Superstar guitarist(Strikes a chord.)

ALL:

All round good guy.

Chalkie:

Wed formed a band is the summer!

Chalkie,
Terry:

Ghostly Grasshoppers.

Chalkie:

It was... I was just leaving assembly TerryIm going to get really

done I havent done the homework for Warrener.

Terry:

Nor have Idont worry about it.

Chalkie:

Well get a detention though.

Terrry:

And?

Chalkie:

My Dadll go berserk

Terry:

I cant imagine your dad being like that.

Chalkie:

You dont know my dad(Ali walks towards Chalkie.) Whats he

want?

Terry:

Who?

Chalkie:

Ali, look

Ali:

Chalkie, Beets leaving

Chalkie:

What?

Ali:

Hes leavinghis brother got done overand well, his mums

already gone and hes off tomorrow.

Chalkie:

What happened?

Ali:

He wont talk about it at all.

Chalkie:

Wherere they off to?

Ali:

London.

21

Chalkie:

Blimey!

Ali:

Were giving him a send offlesson after breakat the woods.

Chalkie:

Who else is going?

Ali:

Dont knowthe usual I suppose.

Chalkie:

I dunno

Ali:

We wont get another chancewith Beet

Chalkie:

Thats the problem

Ali:

Why?

Chalkie:

He takes the Mick all the time

Ali:

Thats Beet

Chalkie:

Noits

Ali:

Have it your own wayI thought youd be up for it

Chalkie:

Ali

Ali:

What?

Chalkie:

Ill come. Itll be better than facing Warrener. Ill go up to him with
the homework tomorrow morning and apologisehell be well
impressed!(Exits.)

Ali:

It was drugs for mewell fags at first thats what started me off
bunking couldnt have em in the classroom so I had to get out.
Its started to disown us worried that if they hung round with us
theyd accused of drugs as wellChalkie was differentthere was a
history there but you could see even he was beginning to move
awayI hated being on the outside but I couldnt stop itWe
wanted others to come along with usto make us feel like better.
So when this new guy cameit wastarget!

Ali:

Do you smoke?

Corey:

Yeh.

Ali:

Do you want to come for a fag?

Corey:

Yeh, alright.

Ali:

Oh mates leaving tomorrow so were like saying goodbye to him

itll bee a laugh theres loads of us going

22

Chalkie:

The teachers wont even know youre in the class

Ali:

You wont be on their registers yet

Chalkie:

So they wont miss you

Ali:

Its up to you Corey

Corey:

Come on then!

ALL:

First we had to get out of school.

23

Section 7:Chalkies Final Bunk

Set up as Section 1, re-creating the opening sequence.
Chalkie:

And before I knew where I was we were all off out of the cotch
and on our way into town.

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:Chalkie come on! Wont you ever stop narrating! (They exit.)
Chalkie:

So there we were in the town centre when suddenly

Voice:

Hello Chalkie Hello Corey. I am here to deliver the Big Bother to

end your mornings truancy

Chalkie:

Havent we been here before?

Voice:

Fate has decided to whom the ending should occur.

Chalkie:

Come on, who is it?

(Silence)

Voice:

Are you ready?

(Silence)

ALL:

Yes

Voice:

Are you quite sure?

ALL:

Were certain

Chalkie:

Come on

Others:

Shut-up Chalkie!

Voice:

RememberFate has decided who should face the Big Bother. There
shall be no arguments.

ALL:

Get on with it!

Voice

The one selected for Big Bother this morning is

ALL:

Come!

Corey:

Its gonna be me I know it is!

Chalkie:

No, itll be me.

Others:

Shut up Chalkie!
(Silence.)

Chalkie:

Come on!

24

Voice:

(Pause) Chalkie.

Chalkie:

Oh my!!

Others:

What?

Chalkie:

Why? I dont consider myself to be someone who proper bunks

really, Id only choose to bunk if needed to avoid some
embarrassment or trouble.

Voice:

Chalkie this has led you to face the Big Bother.

Chalkie:

Cant I appeal?

Voice:

No.

Chalkie:

But you could have found just as many reasons to choose Corey.

Voice:

That is totally correct.

Chalkie:

So why me?

Voice:

Corey has handed himself in big bother before, and will no doubt
again Fate is keen to see you having to deal with this situation
Your future is still in the hands of Fate we have to see how you
react to your first spot of Big Bother.

Chalkie:

I wont ever bunk again thats for sure.

Voice:

I dont know if I believe you!

Chalkie:

I wont. Honest I wont Ill do anything!

Voice:

Even a stupid dance.

Chalkie:

Yes anything!

Voice:

Too late for that Chalkie

Chalkie:

What?

Voice:

Far too late for that ChalkieAli, Corey, Beet, Berty in a moment
you must leave leave Chalkie alone to face

Ali:

Dah dah der!!

Voice:

The Big Bother!!

Chalkie:

Oh no!!! Look!

Others:

Where?

Chalkie:

There!(Chalkie is frozen to the stop.)

25

Beet:

(Laughing) Its wicked when youre chased by the police you just
feel so giggly and

Ali:

and when you get away you just think

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:That was BAD! That was rude!
Beet:

You think youre never going to get caught

Ali:

You do get away

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:Most time.
Chalkie:
Corey:

(Petrified)Old Bill!!!
Truancy sweep

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:Leg it!!!
Chalkie:

Theres me just kind of rooted to the spot.

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:Chalkie!
Chalkie:

Unable to move.

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:Chalkie!
Chalkie:

Thinking this isnt fair!

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:What are you doing Chalk?
Chalkie:

This shouldnt be happening to me well, should it? Look at them

theyre always bunking why cant they be rooted to the spot like
some stupid rooted to the spot thing?

Ali:

Leave him

Beet:

This is such a laugh!

Berty:

Chalkie in the shit! Stuck in the shit!

Corey:
Chalkie:

26

Were off!
Wait please!!! Wait!!

Ali, Corey,
Beet, Berty:To infinity and beyond!!!
(They exit.)
Policeman: Nicked! Always wanted to be on telly eh? Weve got a nice surprise
for you:
TV Crew:

The local BBC News!!!!

Policeman: Smile for the camera sonny!

27