Enigma Emmy Gring

By Werner Fritsch
Im sweet. Not just a little sweet. But sweet through and through. Exceptionally
sweet, exceptionally sweet, exceptionally sweet. With my mothers milk I was hooked
already, and my fathers seed. My father ran a chocolate factory. Milk, chocolate,
King! Not from Switzerland, only from Hamburg. But his creations: his Easter bunny,
Easter eggs, his Emmy all he made was sweet. Everything, sweet. The greatest
happiness of my life; since I was a nipper, heaps of Easter eggs, Easter bunnies up to
my ears, month after month. I never knew when Easter would be. For a long time I
didnt know what it was: Easter. I always only dreamt that I swam in chocolate. That I
bath stark naked in warm liquid chocolate. When I saw in Weimar mine Hermann for
the first time and the Fhrer it was in the caf of the Hotel Elephant; and out
marched in torchlight 30 or more SA troops passed by the Fhrer and my Hermann.
And for a moment I dont believe my eyes it seems to me, they were only
chocolate Easter bunnies that march by (embarrassed giggles). Only chocolate Easter
bunnies marched by. (Drilling noises). Just think of it! Just think of it! that is
something: the Fhrer, chocolate brown and Hermann also chocolate brown, so
wickedly elegant, so wickedly elegant in uniform, and there was more to Hermann
than the Fhrer! I wanted more than anything, more than anything, more than
anything such a sweet, sweet, sweet man. My father granted my every wish in our
chocolate factory. Only my wish to become an actress really made him sour. (In the
voice of her father) Be a good wife to a good man, and a good mother to his children
as your mother is to me, Emmy. And he gave me a man-sized Easter bunny, and I ate
him with anger in one night. And recited with my chocolate mouth all the Gretchen
lines from Faust without prompting, without corpsing. Although in the monologue in
the dungeon (sings): My mother, the whore, who has murdered me my father the
rogue who has eaten me. At that point, I got irritated by a hole in my wisdom tooth.
My mother, the whore, in reality I idolized her. She wrote lifes motto in my
scrapbook, which I have always kept and told myself in the worst of times:
Youll see its all a show
Keep em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
Easter, oh my god. Easter was always the greatest joy for all our actors. Hiding red,
yellow, blue, green Easter eggs, the cheerful ha, ha, ha of Hermann, with bunny ears
on his head, and I also had bunny ears over my wheat blonde hair, which I plaited in
Gretchen style. And I had my quiet joy over his loud joy. He could provide such joy to
his beloved actors but above all to my Mephisto Gustav Grndgens. And the Jewish
wives of the actors offered themselves. Former actresses searched for the Easter eggs,
safe from the SA and SS. (Dentist Drilling). Since the war, everything, everything
changed (sings):
Men are all dirty bastards
Their heart is a cold, black hole

To have a sweet tooth is also a curse, my teeth black holes that turned around each of
my words as soon as someone saw them up close. Only my wisdom tooth remains in
the whole of my mouth it started, no, no, no, suddenly it started to speak, even to
sing. Can you hear? Can you hear? Can you hear? (Silence). At first doubted my
reason. I thought I wasnt right in the head. I concentrated. I concentrated. I
concentrated. Emmy, pull yourself together. Pull yourself together. Pull yourself
together. Did I hear Hermann who talked through me since his death, except in the
hole in my mouth? In the meantime, the third psychiatrist, one of those long-haired
awkward types went insane because of me and my story that hear voices in my head
that didnt come out of my head. I cant think of anything but concentration,
concentration, concentration. I cant even find peace anymore, not even in bed not
even in my wildest dreams. That almost drove me mad. Yes, if I had heard the golden
words of Hermanns voice in the whole of my mouth I would have believed in the gift
of heaven I would have been moved to tears. But no far from it. Nothing but left-wing
deeply flawed drivel. And pop music and again and again pop music, thoroughly
sloppy and filthy. Absolutely disgusting. Directly disgusting and disgustingly direct.
Outrageous. So I visited 3 psychiatrists, one after the other, with the least success. The
voices, the music just getting louder now, getting louder, Can you hear? Can you
hear?
And the last psychiatrist, who was mortally offended by my unbroken loyalty to my
convictions he naturally, totally, completely uncritically fell for all the horror stories
about Nazi crimes he threw in the towel: I wash my hands in innocence of this case
Frau Gring, and the towel fell out of the open window of his practice on the sixth
floor, and behold of all people it fell right onto the helmet of the priest of St Marys
who was riding his scooter to a prayer meeting so he couldnt see the red light of the
crossing and he crashed into a truck. Thank god, almost nothing happened to the
priest, they say he still went to the prayer meeting where he thanked his creator for
not having to see him face to face on that same day, whereas the truck driver suffered
a heart attack and died on the crossing.
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-2930-31-32. And I was Gretchen in Berlin. Mephisto Gustav Grndgens on the same
stage and I knew, Hermann in the box. (In Gretchen voice):
When I but look at you, I thrill
I dont know why, my dear, to do your will,
I have already done so much for you,
That hardly anything seems left to do
[In Gustav Grndgens Mephisto voice]: The monkey is she gone?
You were my Mephisto. Goo, goo, Gusty. In the theatre, Gusty, only in the theatre.
The two of you, every time you sneaked a taste of your drugs you became such sweet
little boys. You played with Hermanns model train for hours. And I brought you huge
portions of chocolate pudding filled with cranberries which I had picked with my own
hands for Hermann. I just couldnt be strict with Hermann. But he also knew how to
take a woman. Anytime he was on drugs, he was very, very, very tender with me. He
wouldnt let me lift a finger. On certain days he wouldnt let me do anything.
Hermann brought me breakfast in bed, blackberry, marmalade and chocolates and
coffee with two cubes of sugar and three spoonfuls of warm milk.
[Wisdom tooth speaks, dominated by GOOD VIBRATIONS]

He wouldnt let me do anything. Hermann washed my face, my arms, my and, and,

and simply everything, even the most intimate, yes, the very most intimate things.
And once, just imagine, he showered me, Gustaf, when I was stark naked.
33,34,35,36,37,38
Hermann under the honour guard! With Hermann in the flashing light storm of the
tabloid magazines of Europe. With Hermann before the altar facing the tabernacle.
Both our heads were bowed and mirrored in its gold. On my head there was a diadem
of ruby, red diamonds and how beautifully Hermann cut the wedding cake with the
knife hand in hand with me. But he led the dance looking at the leader. I understood
the rhythm of the wedding waltz. This is the master of Hermann but Hermann is my
man and I transferred what I felt for Hermann in honour onto the Fuhrer. And I feel as
if the Fuhrer whispered to me when dancing a polka later Go on, you lead my dear
Emmy. you lead me for once in my life. This is the wedding present of your leader.
And then, when I toasted with the leader, my champagne glass clinked so loudly that I
thought it would break into a thousand pieces but no, no, no, the leader knew exactly
how far he could go.
I knew him from Weimar, where I played the ingnue at the theatre. In Berlin I played
Gretchen. Still intoxicated with my success as Gretchen I was already rehearsing
Lady Macbeth:

55

Thy letters have transported me beyond

This ignorant present, and I feel now
The future in the instant.
O, never
Shall sun that morrow see!
Your face, my thane, is as a book where men
May read strange matters. To beguile the time,
Look like the time. Bear welcome in your eye,
Your hand, your tongue. Look like th' innocent flower,
But be the serpent under 't.

But indeed Hermann barked at me. At the peak of my career and in the moment of
most heartrending intimacy [she sobs] the most heart-rending intimacy, he barks:
Finish with theatre! I come first!
Naturally you come first, my heart, my Hermann and then no one else comes close,
not for miles and miles and miles and then, only then, comes the Fuhrer. [she cries]
[She imitates the voice and posture of the Fuhrer]
The theatre, said the Fuhrer in Weimar, will under mine and Hermanns hands
flourish like an enormous blossom. Everything today in the theatre has no connection
to Eternity. It is banal. A real artist doesnt need to shout HEIL HEIL before every
performance and then play in an awful way. No, no, no. A real artist will always come
to us, because we are the creators of a new and always-varied national socialist
realism.
He knew how to captivate He knew when he spoke that those of the female sex
would hang on every word that passed his lips. Leni, Eva, Magda, Marianne would be

enraptured by the depth of his observations, which penetrated everything and

everyone into her innermost innermost
[In Fuhrers voice again] Appearance and reality, my dear Emmy, you must never
mistake them. Appearance and reality.
[As if talking to Adolf] It is a pity that everybody still believes, my Fuhrer, that an
actress that kisses a man who is not her husband on the stage, that she also as a private
person (and she cries) that she also as a private person is loose.
[As Hitler again] My dear good faithful Emmy, you are the living proof that this is not
so. On the contrary, the art of the actor consists exactly in playing to the audience
false kisses. With real feeling. Or real kisses with false feeling.
[As if to Hitler again] Kisses with feeling, my fuhrer, yes, but in reality art, really?
[As Hitler[ Wrong.
[As if to Hitler] Really wrong, then?
[As Hitler] My dear Emmy, this is probably a little bit too complicated for you. Kisses
false, feelings real?
[As Hitler] Feelings false, kisses real?
So it carried on for awhile until the Fuhrer, wanting to embrace me but looking at
Hermann, heroically stopped and said, suddenly quite dryly to me: [as Hitler now]
Dont you worry your pretty little blonde head about it. Where the people in the
audience go wrong, my dear clever Emmy, is only that they believe that an actress
who plays stupid onstage is stupid in reality.
[As if to Hitler again] Ah, my Fuhrer, how you always manage to read the most secret
corner of my heart. What is much much worse than kissing a complete stranger, my
Fuhrer, or playing a stupid person, is to have to play an evil person in the theatre. And
private[she howls loudly]
[As Hitler] Oh no, not again
[To Hitler, sniffles] But the question that worries me most, my Fuhrer, is how well am
I allowed to play an evil person on the stage?
[As Hitler] Good and evil, good and evil, good and evil, that doesnt play any role in
the theatre. Good and bad acting, that plays a role for an actor, good and bad acting,
thats what theatre is all about. Its better to play a loose woman well than a good
woman loosely.
[To Hitler, howling] But I cant help it that Im a good person. God has made me so.

And then the Fuhrer shouted with great agitation: [as Hitler] A good person! A good
person! A good person, my dear Emmy! In reality there are, perhaps excepting myself,
no good people Emmy. In reality there are only good actors.
[To Hitler] But my Fuhrer, my Fuhrer, you, you, you are the living proof that this is
not at all the case.
[Dentist drill]
Usually, I get to 68 then I am away. But what is not away is the pain. When Dr Bsl
put the filling in I saw a red rotating wheel and the nearer it came to my minds eye
through turning, faster and faster turning, the more immense my pain became. I have
my hand on my heart for fear of this pain even if I only hear this penetrating drilling,
twice already, to tell the truth, three times already I tried to escape in panic. I am
under torture I wouldnt say a word, you wouldnt hear a peep But this drilling, the
pure sound of the drilling, the horror, the horror, that defeats me it makes me finally
lose my mind.
[The tooth starts singing]
pop music, poop music, pop music, poop music they look like Jesus and his
disciples and they broadcast them all over the world. O Tempora, O Mores. A wellcultured person will die a thousand deaths from this evil banality. But the most
uncanny thing, my Hermann, is that people especially women get as excited about
it as they did about the Fuhrer. If these so-called singers had voices like the Fuhrer
had a voice, a voice that made everything in you swing, made every part of you
sing but this barking and grunting that you can hear nowadays excreted from the
stage if they at least had clothes in shining chocolate brown, no gaudy kind of
glitter, all surface no substance. Pop music, poopoo music, pop music, poop music,
totally below the belt, only speak to the basest instincts, the animal. Hordes of apes.
God made men in His own image but not these monkeys.
[singing tooth again]
As long as I believed I only imagine these broadcasts I have too much amalgam in
me. How often for my fondness of sweet things did I have to sit on Dr Bsls chair.
Now Im really sick of hearing stuff like that from the hole of my mouth.
[dentist drills]
But this shrillness, these shrieks of matter, this drilling pain, thats why I get up and
go now. My head cant stand it any longer, even in my imagination.

Second Part
[in the dentists chair]
for gods sake give me morphine Doctor Bsl. On morphine, you could cut my head
off, refill it and put it back on again! Ha Ha! Otherwise, I bite into my hand for the
pain. (Voice: quasi-thought) I dont want to count.
1-2-368.
One day I thin 68 I think 68. I sit in a caf in thoughts. Suddenly, out there 30
elephants pass by one after the other. I look out the window in thoughts. 68 or
thereabouts and suddenly one elephant after the other in the street. Elephants instead
of cars. No, in 68 about elephants out there in front of the caf in the street. And
suddenly one of them looks at me and lifts his trunk so endlessly high into the sky and
looks at me and nods and looks and nods and starts to trumpet with his trunk. And
suddenly I know it is Hermann and nobody else. My Hermann is now an elephant in a
Russian or Chinese state circus thats where my Hermann is now an elephant. Or
somewhere else at the end of the world where he has his peace thats where my
Hermann is now an elephant. Ach Hermann, I know, that you are the elephant
trumpeting who lifts his trunk so high when he sees his Emmy. so endlessly high into
the sky.
[Pause]
Little angels, we are not really even there. We have to play angels even in heaven.
And I have understood it doesnt matter what role we play on earth: a bad or a good
role. The main thing is we play it well. Playing it safe is better though, that is why
your Emmy was always good in life even as a private person. My only desire on earth
was only kept around seamlessly brown. And to be his, wholly Hermanns. He always
chided me when I exposed my bear breasts to the sun even when I was covered in a
sea of daffodils.
[Voice of Hermann]
The first woman of the Reich doesnt show her beauty not even to the flowers in the
garden. The first woman shows her beauty only to the first man in the Reich.
[As if to Hermann]: The first?
Hermann: With the emphasis on man Ha Ha Ha.
Emmy: And I only wanted to be chocolate brown for my little Hermann.
Casts of my breasts filled with chocolate for Hermanns rucksack when he went
hunting in the forest. To get brown, seamlessly brown. I dreamt today that I lay in a
coffin surrounded by a sea of flowers and I heard an elephant trumpet. Hermanns
voice on the telephone was so terribly similar to that of the Fuhrer. Although Hermann
did not have the hard rolling rrrs of Hitler. And then it was Gustav who always had me

on by imitating Hitler over the phone. And then, to make matters worse, Goebbels put
Hermann and Hitler at odds because our parrot said Heil Hermann instead of Heil
Hitler. Gustaf would sigh words of love into the mouthpiece just imagine the
British with their Enigma machine, trying to decipher Gustafs playing as if it were
Hitler speaking in code. Ah, you can imagine what Hermann heard through his
wiretaps. Now I can talk about it at last, how amused we were, evening after evening,
Hermann couldnt stop laughing for hours when he was on Cocaine. Before we went
to bed he looked through his collection of ruby rings, and fell asleep laughing into his
pillow. Ha. Hermann always collected jokes. Good ones and wicked ones, but no bad
ones. No, no, no. Hermanns humour you couldnt kill. And jokes about Hermann,
even really vulgar ones, still made him laugh. Gring and Goebbels on the gallows.
Gring to Goebbels: I have told you, this will be decided in the air. And on cocaine,
Hermann could laugh about that for hours. But they were also funny jokes, really
funny. Three prisoners: an English man a French man and a Russian, alone, on an
island. They usually get on alright, even after 20 years. But it was deathly dull on the
island. One day a good fairy comes And says:
[Emmy as fairy]: Each of you boys has a free wish. What is your wish.
[Emmy with English accent]: I would like to be in London ion my favourite pub.
Woosh he is in London in his favourite pub.
[French accent] Allo. I would like to be in Paris in the bed. Avec mon-amour
Woosh he is in Paris in the bed of his lover.
And you?
[Russian accent]: Nastrowje (cheers). Vodka in one hand and a beer in the other. then
I want to have my mates with me again
Whoosh and the other two are here again.
This was Hermanns favourite joke, which he told again and again when on Cocaine,
throughout the whole war, and it always got the biggest laughs. And I then used to
have another fairy joke up my sleeve:
A married couple, both 60, meet a good fairy in the forest. You have 3 wishes, she
says. Quickly the woman wishes for a car and a house. Then the woman says to her
husband you can have the last wish. He says [Emmy, as husband] I wish for a wife
30 years younger Wooosh! And the man is 90.
When I told this joke, and they were still laughing about Hermanns fairy joke, then
they just kept cracking up, completely. But jokes aside, Ive sweated water and blood
to get a phone connection just to hear Hermanns voice again. Time and again when I
cooed with Hermann over the phone, I suddenly heard front reports, air raid sirens,
bomb blasts, even the cries of the wounded. Please connect me, please connect me,
please connect me.

[with voice of Hermann] : Dear Emmy, I am in the forest, hunting a 24-pointer. Come
to me, Emmy, as my nature woman. Emmy, come. We will dance around the fire in
our cave. I, naked, the antlers of the 24-pointer on my head and you, naked, a fox
tail up your bum.
At one point the phone rang, and there was Hermann, sounding like the Fuhrer as
always, but with a more agreeable manner of speaking. Suddenly there was static, the
Fuhrer, and in the background Gustaf. The three most important men in my life, in
one line. Have I now said the right thing to the wrong one, or to the right one the
wrong thing? I am so so thoroughly un-political. Im for the human side of things.
Quite different to the Fuhrer. I was an opponent of the Fuhrer. I do have a right for my
own thoughts, really. And then this embarrassment, it was a hairs width away from
costing us our lives or, even worse, Hermanns and my happiness. Because Hitler, as
he had these injections against the illness in his head, spoke a little softer, and me,
dumb as a dingbat, thought that he mustve been Hermann after all, and said on the
telephone that I love him, or did I say it to Gustaf, who now believes that I thought he
was really Hitler on the line and now thinks that I have something going with Hitler?
As it happened, several times before the Fuhrer had rung up and I had called him
Gustaf.
[Emmy imitates Hitlers voice]: How can you dare, Gustaf?! Adolf! Your Fuhrer is
no ham actor. Is that clear! Have I expressed myself clearly enough?
[Emmy as Hermann]: What you say to the Fuhrer Adolf already, that is how far it has
gone. That is high treason. Living the last few days hunting the stag the 24 pointer
who will cuckold me if I put the receiver down and kill the stag.
[Emmy as if to Hermann]; Hermann o my Hermann my Hermann my heart my sun
my man, my one and all.
[Emmy as Gustaf]; But its me Gustaf!
[Emmy to GG]: Ah you Gustav!
Hermann is in the forest he has a new secret code.
He calls God and the world and me his goddess!
And if on the other end of the line I hear the sound of the nightingale then I know
Hermann is well. And would love to do with his love.
Quing wia, Quing wia, Quing wia
And then suddenly over the air comes
Lue lue lue luely ly ly ly li lili li
Quio didl Li luyli
Nei nei, nei neiii hihiinn
And I answered into the receiver
Quigi horr ha diadiadillsi
Quorror tiu zqua pipiqui
Lue ly li le lae la loe lo didl ia quia
And then I must have said in my excitement
instead of Lue ly li le lae la loe lo didl io quia
Lue ly li le lae la loe lo didl ia quio

Instead of io quia ia quio or something like that

And I have said the opposite of what I wanted to say
[Pause]
In short: the Fuhrer wanted you and me to be shot.
[Twittering of birds]
[Emmy}: He seems to have heard on the telephone the secret code of some high
treason
Did I think too loud on the phone?
How different the fate of the Reich would have been if you Hermann were the first
man of the Reich not only with the emphasis on man but in any way.
How enormously happy would the world be now and how enormously rich the
German Reich now.
No war, no ruin, no ruins.
Our only worry would be with all these official meals not to get too fat.
Ah Hermann, Ive been through thick and thin with you.
[Pause]
Yes Gustaf, dont look so offended.
You I could not lure with my siren songs
Everything could have been so different.
We only had one chance.
Your guilt, your guilt gu hu sti!
We must not amongst actors pretend.
Mentally, we have always been very close,
But there was always more to Hermann.
How much I liked the chocolate brown of the SA uniform all my life.
I always thought it was so hot!
To imitate Hermann was easy, even easier the Fuhrer.
But you know, on the stage Gustaf, you, I owe you my life.
You were so convincing in court Gustaf, when you gave witness for me.
You the greatest German actor.
You were also Hermanns last hope before the Nuremberg judge.
Alas, it couldnt be.
You were such bosom buddies.
How often you came when you had run out of morphine, absolutely exhausted and
furious about the bad reviews.
And how often did you cry unashamedly on Hermanns breast.
And when your sensitive artist psyche threatened to break, Hermann just had the critic
arrested by the police, yes, to please you, Hermann forbade theatre criticism
completely.
This was the only mistake that Hermann made in his life.
Is there a greater joy than the day after a successful premiere to lie in the bathtub and
read the jubilant voices of the critics?
To let the evening of theatre replay in your mind?
Ah, the 23 years in which I was an actress were nothing compared to the 11 as Emmy
Gring that was really living.

Only once when I, 4 and 4 and 40, thoughtlessly sang:

The men are all dirty bastards
There heart is a cold black hole
Then Hermann slapped me for the first and only time.
Before Easter a slap in the face from Hermann.
But it is only a song Hermann.
Your heart is god-knows not a cold, black hole.
And nice and nice you are too.
Im so happy with you Hermann, with all my heart.
So happy, ah so happy.
I will not make you red-hot with anger again with my singing
By heaven, I would rather that you punish me in time
Than you would lose interest in me as a woman,
As your only and onlyest woman
How am I?
Ah so, ah so happy
That you are not so randy as Goebbels, Hermann
Stormy yes, like a lion
And you threw yourself, after you slapped me, in your Moroccan boots on top of me
Ruby red your rings on my breast
And your lips between passionate kisses
Only sing the praises of the wonder weapon
You, you, you
You have been a cavalier of the first rate all your life
A cavalier who brings caviar and champagne for breakfast in bed
[Pause]
Ah, my Hermann was such a ruddy good husband
And that is damned, damned in all eternity the truth and nothing but the truth
Will do for Hermann and for me
After life, in the afterlife
Hermann and I will be a couple in the Hereafter
That I believe, with all my heart
In German death is a man
Your doom, my Hermann you should have had a woman as death
For me, death as man is just right
But your death is the end of your Emmy as well
The end of the show
[Voice of Hermann]: in the gymnasium before daybreak the hammering and sawing of
the carpenters. They build the gallows for me. Where is my Emmy?
[Emmy]: Dr Bsl Dr Bsl, for all the world please do not pull my tooth now
Herman, Hermann, Hermann
At last I can hear Hermann leave me my wisdom tooth.
Amalgam, amalgam.
Leave it for me.
Dont you hear, dont you hear

[Hermann]: I? Im done with my life. Since we had to separate, my life has not been
alive. The V2 rocket of the Fuhrer didnt go into action.
But Grings end by the gallows is unthinkable
The honourable death through firing squad
Unfortunately not permitted
Its a real shocker to stage our death as a show for sensation grabbing press
photographers and reporters
Its all theatre!
Its all bad theatre, bad comedy
This is, I say to all my Emmy, for all the world a suicide
Arsenic in the fist
The hands folded for prayer.
My breath.
The darkness is deeper than that of morphine.
The Americans have refused me Holy Communion.
I had to cry when the chaplain said that without Holy Communion I would not see
Emmy again in heaven.
But I still go joyously into the beyond and feel my death as salvation
I hope for the grace of my god.
[Emmy as H]: The metal capsule is open, the broken glass file between my teeth,
ground by gold crowns. Arsenic dissolves on the tongue. I dont believe in rebirth. As
elephant or dragonfly.
[Emmy sobs]
I only fear that Hitler in hell will in no time put himself into the place of the chief
devil and if there is no room any longer in hell, he will try to conquer Lebensraum in
the heavenly fields. Its a pity that Gustaf didnt testify in court how many Jews he
could save through me. Artists have barely enough character, to make history. They
are like the worms. And deserve to be squashed by the wheel of fortune. Whatever.
Perhaps you can at least testify for Emmy. Whatever. All my thoughts now belong to
you know Emmy.
Arsenic on the tongue the hands folded in prayer Emmy.
My breath. The darkness is deeper than that of morphine.
[Emmy as if to Hermann]: Ah Herman, my Hermann, my Herr, my man. You will
remain in the memory of men forever. Your policies will always be present in future.
In the tabloids, on the radio, on television. Your philosophy will be ever-present,
obviously under the transparent cover of democratic enlightenment. And the more
channels that beat us around the ears with their sermonising entertainment and thus
make our time into a distraction camp, the more each channel will compete with other
channels for the highest rating. But who had the highest ratings of all time in
Germany? Adolf Hitler.