Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Budapest Survival Kit
Budapest Survival Kit
When Ice-T visited here he said very aptly that Buda is the Body and
Pest is the Pussy. Even the B-s and P-s are matching. He was right, the
city is a woman, with the hills as breasts and something messy on the
left bank where you can feel the twirl of things. You wonder the grace
of Buda and feel the power of Pest, the pussy, sucking everything
into itself. Just like you admire the elegant style, shoulders
and breasts of a Buda woman and you feel the fatal,
invincible attraction to the pussy of the Pest woman.
Bullet holes
Like many women, this city had some rather not
too pleasant experiences. Not long ago Germans
on one side and Russians on the other abused
her. Scars from that rape on her precious body
can still be seen all over. Up in the middle
of the Castle on Dísz tér, one building full of
bullet holes still stands out as a contrast to the
tourist attractions. It is not preserved as it is
on purpose, there is the usual bitching going
on about the renovation: who will get the fat
contract and so on. Still, it serves as perfect
memento for the troublesome days.
The scarred buildings in Pest are not so in
the focus of public attention, out of sight
in a side street. Many of them will never
be renovated, their last function is being
a twisted tourist attraction until property
speculation forces them to be torn
down.
Shooting stands
If you keep your head high and watch the rooftops you can see weird installatio
ns on many
buildings. Many of these turret-like edifices have other purposes than being
just mere
ornaments. They were designed to be shooting stands and were heavily
in use during the
war and in 1956. The one on the corner of Dob utca is still the one of the
most dominant
landmarks of the street. Nazis sniped on the Kiskörút from this turret that
is now turned into
a flat. It was on sale for HUF 15,000,000 in 2004.
Empty buildings
magnificent buildings. Many of the city’s
The real estate market seems to care little about important or simply
seems to be able to find a solution. The most famous case is Gozsdu
famous properties are decaying and no-one
small businesses, offices and flats before
udvar between Király and Dob utca. It was a Paris-style passage full of
a cunning investor, the last inhabitants and
the war. The bitching has been going for decades between the district,
down that it could be used as a stand-in for post-war Berlin
the Rumanian state. In the end, the building was so run
the movie Spy Game, (imdb: tt0266987 ). They started the renovatio n recently but you are still able to
Gozsdu udvar between Király and Dob utca setting
in
might get an indescrib ably weird feeling of being in a scenery for a post
Divatcsarnok, Andrássy 39. visit if you can sneak past the guards. You
“Fashion Hall”, (used to be a very chic shopping mall) nuclear strike role playing game.
pics-> Úttörő Áruház,
V., Kossuth Lajos
utca 7-9.
(Used to be the
first shopping
mall in Budapest.
Last name was
“Pioneer’s depart-
ment store”)
City planning as cabaret council started building the second (red) metro line. The National Theatre,
that time, the jewel of Blaha,
City planning has always been a bit of a comedy act. Few decades ago the the buildings foundatio n. Some say that the commies wanted
the metro would not have even touched
was found to be in its way, so they blew it up. Few months later they realised
to destroy that national symbol on purpose. they
started from both sides, and as the two branches were nearing each other
In the 70’s, they were building a motorway bridge near Nyugati. They Adriatic Sea level, the other is to the Baltic, hence the
the two. One side was measured to the
realised there was a 0,675 meter difference between
country is measured or compared to.
divergence. Well, there has always been a big matter which standard the on
ce of planning for decades. Coming from the South on Bajcsy-Zsilinszky, the bus turned left
People on night buses saluted this masterpie Körút and then made a left again under the bridge. The
turn right again onto the
Alkotmány just before the bridge, drove around a huge block to
metres before the end of the bridge. Some genius solved this problem by
5-minute detour was needed because the bus stop is placed twenty
the bridge onto the Körút.
allowing the night buses to make a left-turn before
they found a monster called Süt-
Legend says when the Romans wanted to conquer the land over the river
didn’t fight the legionnai res, but he had them seduced with
Főz-Fűt living in the marshes of Pest. The monster
from the East. The soldiers never returned to their camp and stayed on the left side of the river. The
beauties
he was a true voyeur, bringing people
monster became interested in watching the people, well, mix. With time
is still around, maybe he lives somewhere
together in the most peculiar ways and combinations. The monster
say if his voyeurism is not satisfied he will wake up rampage through the streets like a
under the city. They
Godzilla.
Moszkva tér
at the
bar on Moszkva Tér. The square lies
square from the upstairs terrace of the
You can observe the contrasts of this home to the coun try’s riche st. And this is
descend from the surrounding hills -
intersection of many of the roads that force mark et) is held every morn ing. People from the
cial” term: illegal work
where the city’s last slave market (“offi t loudly into mobile phones, selling
these
rn part of the coun try and Tran sylvania are hired by foremen who shou that the übert rendy youn g-
Easte of trainers
ngs of the workers could buy one pair
guys to building sites. One week’s earni have to pass the poor est work ers everyday. There is
sometimes. The trendiest kids
sters in the bar wear. Fate is a bitch they have little in common.
actio n, both grou ps dislik e the other and are absolutely aware that
little inter
Bath
Yes, the baths, you have to
be a fool not to visit at least one. The best
time to go to a bath is in the early hours to start the day or
finish a hard night. Gellért and Széchenyi are big and touristy but neverthe-
less marvellous. Chill in the pool on the hill and watch the city in Gellért in summer. Sit
outside in the smoking hot water in Széchenyi in the winter. Baths do help forming that hedonistic, care-free
mentality some Budapesters possess.
Traditionally, Turkish bath pools are separated, some smaller baths open only for males or females on certain
days. Make sure you know where you are going: big scandal rose around Király when the public got to Gellért,
know about the gay orgies. Some male only days in Rác are also gay friendly. Rudas is XI., Kelenhegyi út
always for males only but expect taxi drivers and small time criminals and 4-6., (Gellért tér)
Széchenyi,
politicians instead of gays. It used to house parties at night (for both sexes)
XIV., Állatkerti út
and will hopefully carry on with that after the renovation. Lukács 11. (stop “Széchenyi
is the least famous for tourists but maybe the most Fürdő” on the yellow
beloved by the Budapesters. It is a very line)
important place in the informal Rudas, I.,
news circulation of the Döbrentei tér 9.
city. (Under renovation)
Rácfürdő, I., Hadnagy
u. 8-10.
Király,
II., Fő u. 82-86
Lukács,
II., Frankel Leó u.
25-29
Mászóka – Climbies
The „climbies”, the monkey bars were
all manufactured by the Central
Monkey Bar Manufacturing
Cooperative (CMBMC). Some of them
had political meaning: the sphere
symbolised the globe and the rocket
trained the future generation of
kosmonauts. There was also the house,
the cat, the wave and the pipeline and
that was the selection. Thick oil paint
covered them in either peace blue,
soviet red, sick piss yellow or green.
They were made of metal so your hands
would freeze to them in the winter and
they would burn your ass in the
summer. The blocks of concrete
surrounding them made climbing an
extreme sport. Most of the kids
suffered severe injuries and boasted
about them like veterans boast
about their scars. Today the good old
mászokas are replaced by safe-to-use,
euro-conform wooden or plastic things.
Some of the old ones are still to be seen
around, sunken, paint peeled off.
Szinva u.
Your last exit in the VIIth
district before the bourgeois,
green belt district streets
of XIVth Zugló is Szinva
utca. The street is designed
in perfect, scary symmetry.
On the sides you see windows
with rolled-down palettes.
You can’t help the feeling of
being watched. But the street
is dead, the only living thing
between the walls is dog shit.
A few toothless zombies
appear from nowhere and
check if the cars have valid
parking permits. You notice
that each house has a
workshop underneath, in
some you can watch the
last women working in the
capital’s textile industry. You
are happy to see people again,
even though they are half
machines. You get scared,
hurry towards the light, the
busy road at the end of the
street. You have a feeling that
each step takes you further
and further from your goal.
You scream. A window opens
and someone tells you to go
to hell. “I am already in the
hallway” you shout back.
The transition from the old system to the new was anything but smooth. Many rose to unimaginable wealth almost overnight with seriously
dodgy methods. Now you have the chance to play the transition again with the most controversial characters. Here are the first four play cards.
Stadler
Strength 3/10
Intelligence 3/10
Tasnádi Spell 3/10
Strength 7/10 Special Skill “Last Supper” (100 Mana)
Intelligence 5/10 Brings Leonardo’s Last Supper painting into the
Spell 4/10 country and reclaims the VAT for the business
afterwards. After this he is not allowed to make
Special Skill “Mr. Muscle” (20 Mana) any move for 8 rounds.
Calls a carload of muscleman. If he succeeds, he Special Skill “Son of common people”
gets +5 attack. (1 Mana)
Special Skill “Being persecuted” (20 Mana) He is allowed to say he is a simple shepherd who
Each time he is cornered he is allowed to call his got ripped off by corrupt politicians. If he
opponent an anti-Semite. If he succeeds he gets a succeeds he gets away from the attack.
free round.
Suit All neon colours (“eye shock”, always
Suit all finest (-2 defence) attacks first)
Klapka
Strength 4/10 Cini
Intelligence 6/10
Spell 5/10 Strength 2/10
Intelligence 3/10
Special Skill “Cheap Marketing Stunt” (10 Mana) Spell 5/10
Manufactures a washing powder named
“conventional washing powder“. Each time the Special Skill “Bust Bump” (10 Mana)
other players mention his product in their ads he Can pump up her breasts to an unnatural size and
gets cash or free advertising. gain +8 defence.
Special Skill “undefeated defender of the last Special Skill “Whine on TV” (10 Mana)
bastion of freedom” (10 Mana) She may cry on telly and claim herself a victim
Can use his historical name (descendant of a of conspiracy. If she succeeds she gets away from
general of the 1848 revolution) to gain +1 support. the attack and gets +1 support.
Suit Red chequered with black (+ 2 defence) Suit only necktie (-2 defence)
Stadler József
First occupation: shepherd. Made an incredible amount of money trading with the ex-USSR states. Notorious tax-dodger. His biggest coup was reclaiming
the VAT after the import of Leonardo’s Last Supper oil painting, which is a fresco in Milano. The responsible tax-officer said: “we found no formal mistakes
in the process” and allowed the payment. Stadler was finally cornered and sentenced to prison. He stated that he was used as a tool by politicians. Used to
run his own 1st division football team, named after himself. Today, he is not allowed to enter the stadium he built. Passionate collector of naive paintings of
himself and his estates. Tried to sell some of the masterpieces, but no-one paid the price he wanted. Recently released from prison made his debut as a
talk-show guest.
Klapka György
First occupation: show-dancer. Decorated in the GDR. Defected to West-Germany in 1969 and became successful
in business. Lived with four women at the same time (“Sometimes one of them hurried home so that the first would
be hers. She thought the others wouldn’t get any. But there was enough for each of them”). Came back in 1989 and
was charged within two years with a massive customs evasion case but was cleared (“I found a gap in the law”).
Manufactured a washing powder under the name of (Conventional washing powder), hoping that he could sue the
competitors if they mentioned his product unfavourably. Became a cult figure with his minimalist ads for his antique
shop. Passionate bio-walnut farmer. Claims to know a thousand love-poems by heart.
Tasnádi Péter
Sold electronic devices in Austria in the 80’s. Imported cars and operated a security firm
in Hungary in the 90’s. Organised and sponsored street-fighting events. Liked to pose as a
godfather, even wrote a book entitled “Mafia life-to-death? [The Maccabi story]”, but denied
any connection to organised crime. Arrested in 1999. Culprit of the first Hungarian mafia-case,
sentenced on four counts but not on creating or operating a crime organisation. Insisted that
he was only found guilty because he was a business opponent of the then Home Secretary,
who also run a security firm. “For the same role Al Pacino got an Oscar, I got three years”.
Wrote a book “983 days in the prison of Fidesz”. Released from prison recently. Passionate
cook. Loves kitschy villas and pictures of himself surrounded by masked bodyguards or
defence attorneys.
Zalatnay Sarolta (Cini)
Became the darling of the country after finishing second in a 1966 national
talent competition. Went to England, dated the scene. Members of the
Bee Gees wrote songs for her and allegedly one even proposed marriage.
Returned to Hungary and became a local star. Her memoir of love-affairs (“I
am not a nun”) was a best-seller in the 80’s. Blew her breasts up to the size
of water-melons to please her much-younger lover. Was the oldest woman
to appear in Hungarian Playboy. Wanted to launch her own TV-channel
(CIN-N-N) but ended up owing 500,000 Euros to investors. Was found
guilty of fraud (“I made a mistake, but I don’t feel guilty”). Let a camera
team follow her and make a reality show of her last days outside the can.
Currently serving her three-year sentence. Cicciolina visits her often.
Gay Mile
Typical scene on the promenade between the hotels and the Erzsébet bridge, on a sunny late
afternoon. A well-dressed, bit older man lights up a cigarette. A young guy comes to him, asks for
a cigarette and starts a conversation. The game is clear and not about smoking. Who is the young
guy? A runaway kid? Somebody from the penitentiary, or an orphan who never knew his parents
and was not tough enough to become a badass? Someone just making a fast ten-thousand to sup-
port his coke or whatever habit? Someone from a distant village, who came to work in the city and
somehow ended up as a male prostitute? Most of the punters don’t care. Rich West meets poor East
for a quickie. Even the hotel receptionists turn a blind eye and make some cash. News is spread, the
sex tourists keep coming. At night, when the last train is gone to the East, there are always some
desperate ones without shelter.
See more in the film „Nincsen nekem vágyam semmi” by Kornél Mundroczó, imdb entry
tt0243452.
Around the Pest leg of the Erzsébet bridge, esp. up river
As if Culture
Plazas here mean more than just very Western or American
style shopping centres. They are the new city life. You find
everything that makes a city different from a village:
promenades, high streets, cinemas and cafés. West End,
a plaza behind Nyugati became what it advertised: a new
centre for the city. Sociologists talk about a new breed of
people for whom plazas are the only third place. The Plaza
became a plaza in the piazza (public place) sense; there are
even people who visit a plaza to get fresh air.
If you run a business, you are always supposed to complain. Unfortunately, the so-called positive thinking has infected some of our business people, so they smile and
are very sure everything is ok. They are considered to be boastful and even stuck up by some. True, they should damn well respect our culture of com-
plaint.
Dodge tax
Tax dodging is a very popular sport amongst the self-employed. You are
not really sneered upon for doing it, the act
is actually regarded as a rather cunning one.
Good excuse for the aspiring tax dodger is that tax dodging is practised
at highest levels. Each 2-3 years the public
learns about a new scandal. The scheme is always the same: a lot of money disappear s from the public sector,
someone gets hefty subsidy for a bogus company or simply a lot of taxes are avoided. The funniest case was maybe
when a German / Turkish guy called Kaya Ibrahim signed a few papers in July 1995. Months later it turned out that
he took over 14 companies with massive tax debts connected to people high up in politics. He claims that he did not
sign anything, just gave his passport to his Hungarian neighbour in Germany
who faxed it to another guy who... you
get the picture. There is no verdict until today, the case was dropped.
Our taxation system takes tax dodging as a default so the rules that are supposed to prevent tax dodging make simple
business activities a nightmar e. Take booking simple expenditu res for instance. The detailed receipt stating the items,
VAT and so on is not enough. You have to ask for an “ÁFÁs számla”, the holy VAT bill. Some bigger retail outlets
have computerised systems, but in most cases it is a good old handwritt en, three-pag e carbon copied document. Try
to get a hand written ÁFÁs számla at the railway station; good fun if the employee is retarded (which he usually is),
and you have a long, aggressive queue behind you. On a coach, do this act
with a few fellows and you can delay the
departure with twenty minutes.
expense. Note that the VAT bill is the simpler type, because it does not state the VAT separately.
This is the proper way to book a bus ride as expense. This hand-written paper piece of paper
allows Wan-ker Bt to reclaim 22,168 Forint (about 10 cent) VAT and book the remaining as
Swear!
Hungarian language demonstrates its
greatest diversity when it is used for
usage of four letter words when some swearing. English is limited to the
thing bad happens. Hungarian empl
curses with imperative in these situa oys complex, grammatically correct
tions.
Compare:
English Hungarian
Shit! Kurva Isten bassza meg!
The sentence above includes words
from the various categories of Hung
- Adjectives (kurva) -Kurva means litera arian swearing.
lly prostitute and can be used as an adjec
kurva szar - effin shit. Nowadays it is tive. Kurva also means negative “very
even used as a positive “very”: kurva ”:
invent anything you like. So fingszopó jó - effin good. Hungarian is flexible
(fartsucker) is not an official term, but in using adjectives so you can
- God (Isten) - Often used in swear word many people will appreciate your innov
s. Other favourite is to mention God’ ation.
- Sexual activities - (Bassza meg) Impe s genitals (isten fasza).
rative to have an intercourse. You can
anal intercourse. use about 20 or so synonymous word
s. You can also refer to fellatio or
You may also add relatives to your swea
ring. Mother is by far the strongest,
!!!Note that the above sentence in Hung aunt is probably the weakest.
arian is very, very rude. Still, you could
face-to-face and a relative is added, hear any lorry driver saying it, cursi
it is more than a call to fight. ng at situations or things. When it is
The older generation refrains from using said
explicit words and instead uses myth
ical and poetic words such as “fűzfánfüt
whistling on a willow tree, “rézfaszú yülő rézangyalát” - the copper angel
bagoly”- owl with a copper-dick or “ördög karikás farka”
bullwhip tail. -the Devil’s
Standolás
You go into a bar and fancy the girl behind the bar. She likes you.
The bar is closing. You want to take her out or home. Then she starts pouring
all the drinks into a bottle and back to the original one. Is it a weird ritual of
Hungarian mixing? Nope. She has to measure and book how much was
drunk from every drink. Every single night. There was a stupid gov-
ernmental regulation until 2004 demanding to know what kind of
and how much booze was consumed each day. They lifted it but
many places still do practise it because of the peculiarities of
an economy of distrust. The boss doesn’t trust her and wants
to know exactly how much was consumed. The barmaid
doesn’t trust the shift next day so she wants to cover
her ass in case something is missing. Don’t worry,
it only takes a half an hour. Problem is, she might
get really pissed off during the process and just
wants to go sleeping (alone, damn). You get
bored, she won’t give you anything to drink,
there is no music and, obviously, you can’t
talk to her because she concentrates on those
bottles. No-one said picking up the barmaid
was easy. Good tip: stock up on bottled beer
before she closes the cashier.
Taxi driver
As in any big city, some taxi drivers here like to take the tourists for an
expensive ride. The masters of this game are the few hundred “sharks” cabs
that don’t belong to one of the big companies. You can see examples of these
arrogant, petty thieves around railway stations and main tourist attractions.
Urban legend says that one unlucky passenger paid 300 Euros to get to the
airport. A true story: some Japanese told their host that they saw three rivers
on their way back to the hotel. Note that strangely it is much cheaper to order
a taxi from a big company by phone to your location than to hail one on the
street.
Taxi drivers belonged to the aristocracy of the eighties. They had access to
lots of cash and even hard currency, were free and uncontrolled. Times have
changed, but to own a cab is still regarded as a success story in the outer
districts. There was even a time when cab drivers were regarded as kind
of freedom fighters. In 1990, the government (contrary to its
promise) raised the heavily subsidised petrol prices to the market level. Cab
drivers blocked the roads and made a circus in front of the parliament. The
“people” brought the protesters home-made cookies and tea.
Your own Blitzkrieg
Not to pay for the ride with BKV (public transport) is the most popular
sport in Budapest. The word for travelling without a ticket is
“bliccelni”, which means literally “to be like lightning” and comes
from the German word “Blitz” (Lightning).
BKV tries to retaliate with furious anger and little success. In
summer 2005, a young woman was taken to the police station in
handcuffs because she allegedly faked her monthly pass. Next
day it turned out that BKV employees themselves sold her a
faked monthly pass. BKV expressed its regret and offered
the woman to replace her fake pass for free. How
generous.
We of course recommend that you
pay each time the right fare.
Here are some things you should not do under any circumstances:
-Prepare a ticket in which the time stamp is a blurry, unreadable mess and claim the machine must have been broken
-Show any ticket with any readable time stamp to the controllers before you enter a metro line. They don’t have the
time to proofread it.
Also, you should not remember these things:
-The controllers may call a policeman but they don’t have the right to hold you up.
-The metro controllers control in squads and in segments of a metro line, usually three
or four stops.
-There is always a control if you want to change metro lines underground at
Deák. It is possible to dodge them if you exit the station and enter the new line
from the surface.
-It is very easy to spot the con- trollers on surface. Look for a group of people
who are mixture between Stasi agents and born losers.
“Harcsa” The harcsa (catfish) type of fringe is a true brand sign of an older Magyar Macho of the Puszta. He
started wearing catfish the back in the 70’s and hasn’t changed his style. The best place today to go catfish spotting
is maybe a village fair. The city way to act like a Magyar Macho of the Puszta is to have a title, a uniform and a
hand-weapon, so no wonder that catfish remained a favourite by some low-rank policemen.
The 20-minute tram ride to the market is an adventure in itself. You take the tram Nr. 28 from Blaha through the mouldering
houses of the outer VIIIth District. You will know when you have arrived: on one side of the road you see wholesale
outlets and electronic casinos, on the other side a stone fence. Actually, the market is so big that there are three tram
stops where you can get off.
The market is a chaos engine, a forsaken derivation of the Silk Road, where rubbish from all directions of the wind
converge. Cheap imitations of anything (check out Adios and Rebook) are on sale next to worthless electronic items.
Anything that is smuggled is sold under the table. The smell of the market is a strange mixture of fresh plastic, strange
food, oriental spices and sweat. The noise is a mixture of all languages spoken from Hungary to East China and South
Vietnam. The buyers are as mixed as the sellers; charter buses bring hordes of people from as far as Poland and the
Ukraine.
An extensive collection
of ”kortyi” (“sippie”),
synthetic alcohol sold in
sip-size, a necessary tool
ally on
top is re of survival for many.
A Non-s every corner
almost town.
in down
Kocsma
Though often translated falsely as “bar“, or “pub” into English, kocsma
is an institution of its own. A good
kocsma is rough and uncomfortable and is used exclusively for drinking;
the food (pogácsa or a zsíros
kenyér - bread with lard) is on hand only to prepare the stomach for the
serious drinking. Consider a
kocsma as an educational institute where you can learn the most importan
t life lessons from underdogs:
how to survive beer, shorts and wine in the same evening, how to hack pinball
machines and how to avoid
work, in general.
A borozó is a wine yard where you can buy wine on tap by the glass, usually
from one region or big producer. They are filled
with old guys who share their bits of wisdom louder and louder after each
deci (tenth of a liter) or fröccs (wine with bubbly
mineral water called szóda). Habit and market changes have forced most
of the borozós to close, sell acid wine or change
into a more general kocsma.
An old borozó with real wine is Tokaji borozó on V., Falk Miksa 32.
An institution for students and teenagers is Móri Borozó in I.Fiáth János
utca 16.
Acid wine
ke walking
A good share of the population is heavy on the drink. The real zombie-li
on “kannás bor”, literally “wine in a (plastic)c an”.
corpses with dull eyes are the ones
brought out
In the early nineties wages dropped. The alcohol industry answered fast and
It is supposed
plenty of cheap, artificial wine in 2 or 5 litre plastic cans (hence the name).
to be illegal now, but no-one really cares or dares to control.
costs about
You can find acid wines in the dirty cellar “wine bars” and kocsmas. A litre
version. Even
a Euro to take and 1.5-2 to drink. Any shop will sell the canned or bottled
bor” (wine on
some bars, kerts and clubs will sell you this poison, but they call it “folyó
tap) and you will pay ridiculous prices for it.
most irresist-
Try this stuff out, after a few glasses you will be the bravest, smartest and
will have a splitting headache , but by the evening it
ible person around. Next day you
about politics
will go away. If you drink the stuff for a year, you can sit back and forget
ent.
or even television, because tying your shoelaces will be a full day’s engagem
rt, the so-called
The regions producing the best drops are Akasztó, Kecel and Soltvadke
have colourful
golden triangle in the middle of the Hungarian Plain. The leading brands
themes and funny names like Kocsis Irma (the wife
etiquettes, often with historic or folk
or
of a publican in a folk song), brother-in-law Durbincs (another folk song)
Koccintós (clinker). Makes an excellent souvenir!
Wine Wine
Wine is not at all just about acid wine, Hungary does have some excellent
drops. Not a wonder
since the soil and the climate are good and the country has been producing
the noble drink since the Roman times. Wine has been
the most popular drink for centuries, beer only took over in the late 20th century.
Many families own a small vineyard and produce
wine (“házi bor” - ”wine from the house”) from miserable to excellent quality.
A lot of winemakers have achieved international reputation in the last
few years. Some wines won blind tests against several-
hundred-Euro-a-bottle wines from French wineries whose name has a lot
of funny characters. A lot of books, magazines and wine-
blogs are being published; the domestic demand for high quality products
is growing and even a certain patriotic wine snobbism
has also found its way into the upper market.
So, if you are invited to a fancy party, bring a nice bottle along. It can
be a foreign wine, but than be prepared to hear the
comparison with a Hungarian one. Be able to talk about barrique, optimal
maturity and acacia scent unless you want to be declared
an insensitive barbarian and denied of the grilled lamb and forced to eat
frankfurters. There is nothing wrong with frankfurters,
but you don’t go to a fancy party to eat them, do you?
Mór
Sopron
Szekszárd
ones on the market)
Some wineregions are:
taste a few glasses for free.
tokaji!
Not the real
WARNING!
Presszó comes from the word `espresso’.
Presszó or eszpresszó is the name of the Italian type bar, and it actually
big days of presszós were after the war. The rhythm of the
The first on opened in December 1937, but the
the feeling of modern life people wanted. Huge coffee machines brewed excellent coffee; new
place offered
was the hip place to be. Also, flats were in shortage and the morals of the
specialities were on offer: presszó
a presszó was the only possible places to meet
older generations were conservative, so for many young people
served as centres for the oppositio n or free thought, some as centres for artists. Often they
up. Some presszós
their terrace. Many presszós closed
had a little band playing in the evening and in the warmer days they opened
nineties or kept the name but they became more of a kocsma, concentra ting on alcohol instead of coffee.
in the
pasted from 1961 is Bambi, II., Frankel Leó 2-4. The ladies sometimes still
One almost completely copy &
wear the trademark high-heel boots and the coffee is served in glass.
Kávéház
A kávéházba – ahol tan-
yáztunk – alig járt más,
mint művésznépség;
tehetetlen, cinikus,
fáradt-fantáziájú, de mé-
gis melegszívű emberek.
Nemigen dolgozott
egyikünk sem, ellenben
bőven vitattuk meg
mindannyiunk jövendő
terveit. Mit csinálunk,
majd ha pénzünk lesz
– stb. stb. Közben megit-
tuk feketéinket, meg a
konyakot, meg ismét
feketéinket; szívtuk ciga-
rattáinkat, és leszidtuk az
összes festőket és írókat,
szárazon és unottan
buzdítottuk egymást; de
senki sem buzdult.
Hotel)
Meat and Paprika
Hungarians eat meat with meat. In the fifties, there was a commie song about the
working class being able to eat meat every day. They took it to the extreme, from the
sixties to the eighties the holy trinity of meat soup / pörkölt / pork schnitzel ruled most
of the family tables on the weekends. Pork is by far the most beloved meat, and as a
result, high cholesterol is endemic.
Paprika is omnipresent in the everyday Hungarian cuisine. Forget those
fancy restaurants with their stupid food names that no-one can
pronounce anyway: we make a gulyás / paprikás / pörkölt
of everything or deep fry the damn thing. If there was a Hungar-
ian Jamie Oliver, he would be a jovial fat guy making kangaroo pörkölt,
paprikás tortoise and maybe a deep fried yak schnitzel for a change. If a
UFO landed in the countryside, I am almost sure that the poor bastard
would end up in some thick paprika sauce.
(Gulyás is the thick soup, pörkölt
the paprika stew that most of
you probably call goulash back
home. Paprikás is basically
another variation for
pörkölt.)
Lángos and Co.
One speciality all the guide books write about is
“lángos”. It is deep-fried salty dough, served with
garlic and optionally sour cream and cheese. Lángos
means literally “flamed”, because this dish was originally
made in the oven. Now it follows the pure fat - pure joy
principle and is deep-fried. The dough of the original one
was made of flour and mashed potato, unfortunately you are
likely to get the pure flour one most of the time. Lángos is
rarely sold on the street in this city anymore, only in markets
and railway stations. That leaves the markets only, because as
a rule of the thumb you should avoid eating at railway stations.
You will also find lángos on the beach. Perversely, if you go to
the Római Part, the right bank of the Danube near Aquincum,
you can see a lot of people eating deep-fried garlicky stuff in the
sun, even if temperature is over 35 Degrees in shade.
The other typical beach food is called Hekk. Hekk is hake, a sea
fish mostly fished near Argentina. It arrives in 20-kilo ice cubes.
That ice cube used to come from Cuba and was called “socialist
block of fish”. People like hekk because it has no bones and is easy
to prepare. Your hekk will be rolled in paprika flour and deep-fried
in one piece. This is the only fish you will get on most beaches, even
at Balaton, although the lake is famous for its fishery. Hungary was
praised by poets for its rich waters, now most of the country eats fish
only twice a year - once at Xmas, (deep fried carp in paprika flour or
paprika fish soup), and one hekk in the summer.
For the lángos:
Fény utcai piac. II., Fény
utca, the market
behind Mammut shopping
centre (Széna tér),
first floor (dough with pota
to)
Hold utcai Vásárcsarno
k - In the market hall
on V., Hold 13. Note the
old street sign saying
“Rosenberg házaspár utca
” - Rosenberg couple
street. (dough with potato)
Nagyvásárcsarnok, IX.,
Fővám körút 1-3.
Burger for the Buerger
The first sign of freedom, hamburger
s appeared in the early eighties.
A TV ad introduced the new food : a burger bun was running around
the table and eating all the ingredient
s, and at the end a Russian style
army choir echoed: ham-bur-ger. Bette r shops sold the standard 4-pack
burgers that were dema nded by the kids at dinner tables.
Those who operated food stalls smel
led gold and switched from lángos
and sausages to hamburger s. Our own variant was developed.
The essentials for the old-school
Hungarian burger are: puffancs (a
dark brown roll made from swee t doug h), one (1) slice of green salad,
csalamádé (pickled onion s, cucu mber s and cabbage) and Globus brand
mustard and ketchup. A decade later
McDonald’s conquered and this del-
icacy almost completely disap peare d or degenerated. Only a few places
still sell the real thing. One is a dirty
non-stop joint not far from Keleti.
At night it is often full of cops on duty.
They eat those old-school burgers
around here, not donuts. Remember
that, you might be able to spark up a
conversation on your way to the statio
n.
13+1 Hamburger, IX., Angyal u. 28.
Palacsintakirály, VII., corner of Thök
öly and Dózsa György
Own fast food chain
Burgers were the first step towards democracy and becoming a westernis
ed country. The second obvious step was
to have our own fast food chain. So in 1985 City Grill opened up, a place
that mimed western fast food joints. It
was owned by a state company that also managed the big hotels. A TV ad
featuring the golden mulleted Brother
Pinball and his band Step (big celebrities at the time!) advertised the place
and the new lifestyle. City Grill served
coke in a logo-ed plastic cup with straws and had rolling chairs - everythin
g felt so hip and chic. The winds of
change smelled like french fries. Or freedom fries.
The last City Grill on Váci utca closed a few years ago. It still bore the
legendary name but instead specialised
in selling overpriced tap beer on the terrace. The place is called now Taverna
Söröző and still sells pricey beer.
Maybe one joint should have been kept as a bonus trip destination for McDonal
d’s workers where they could be
ill tempered and lazy and generally, ignore all aspects of costumer service;
just like it was back then at the City
Grill.
Another attempt was to open a chain that sold the traditional slow-food hits
like pörkölt, nokedli (kinda gnocchi),
cucumber salad and such, but in a fast food fashion. It was called Paprika
(what else?) The TV ad sang: “Here
comes the paprika, the pa-pa-pa-pa-paprika!!!” I don’t know anyone who
ever went there.
It is bizarre, but Paprika still exists today. The very last restaurant is on the
corner of Városháza and Pilvax köz. A
fat lady is handing out the not-too-hearty portions on plastic plates over an
aluminium counter, just like in a good
old factory canteen. The clientele is mostly made up of pensioners. It is a
kind of museum where you can see how
things could be if the commies stayed on power and the country was denied
proper fast food.
Paprika, V., Városháza and Pilvax köz corner
Meki
The real thing, McDonald’s - Meki as we call it - opened its first joint on the Régiposta, in the very centre of Pest in 1988. It
was news on TV. All of the leading politicians of the Party paid their mandatory visits. Looking back, it was the psychological
turning point, the point that made clear that socialism was over. Ronald McDonald brought us freedom in a happy meal,
the first secretary even got to have a Big Mac. The same crowd that visited the City Grill just a block away and stood in
the line to get in the Adidas shop was now queuing for hours for a cheeseburger menu. For a short while, working in a
Meki was considered as a hot job.
Meki won the fat race with a knock out, City Grill died, the old school burger places closed. Today there are about 47
Meki “restaurants” in the town. Even in the countryside, a place is considered a real if it has a Meki.
Meki put its hands on some unbelievable locations, one joint is seated in the ex first class restaurant of the Nyugati,
in a building designed by Gustave Eiffel. A less classy but certainly interesting Meki is at Blaha. Beefy gypsy
thugs used to hang out around the door as kind of unofficial security. A friend scored smack in front of the
establishment, went to the loo to shoot up and got mugged by the same guys who sold the stuff. The place
has been renovated but the clientele remained pretty much the same.
“When at lunch, to the begging and beseeching of my parents, and against my firm
belief, I started spooning my portion of “nutritious and healthy” főzelék of lentils,
he whispered in my ears: “Spew it, puke it on the plate, wait for the roast joint, the
cookies.””
(Dezső Kosztolányi: Esti Kornél 1929)
Óbudai Sziget:
Dokk
Bed Beach
Go to the “White party” and see the city’s wannabe beautiful people dressed as ice-cream vendors.
Dancehall is popular amongst the young crowd, check www.dancehall.hu or look out for the flyers from Love alliance.
Parties by www.lollipop.hu are held in different venues and usually have the nicest girls. Music is kinda electrocrash. Or electrotrash?
SONIC TAGS WORKSHOP
to back up the philosophy of Re:activism conference
a group of international sound and media artists and activists
are holding a pro:active workshop
from the beginning of the week
elements of the production work:
• building small-area fm transmitters
• collaborative content creation
• production of alternative, localized, virtual edu-tainment spots
Bits and pieces of the collaboration will be heard/found all over town
• Radio Tilos provides an hour airtime throughout the week to deal with special themes on the occasion of the workshop and conference (http://tilos.hu)
• Towards the end of the week, around the time of the conference, the small area transmitters will be planted in special parts of the city, so its worth the try
to wander around town with an fm radio
• On Friday, 14th October, a special closing party will be held where the results of the workshop will be exhibited and made special use of
For locations and exact dates, watch out for flyers!
MOKK, Radio Tilos, Nextlab, Radio Territories (EU) project
H-Airwaves
Yes, Angela Davis hairstyle was a big thing here too in the seventies,
as you can see from old photographs and hear from stories of that
generation, and basically you can still get anything here from the
groovy retro stock that has become so popular again in recent years
- the cheapest bits at the time when people can dump their rubbish
officially on the street to be collected in autumn and spring. Quite a
sociological survey, I tell ya.
What are the things we had, but we don’t anymore, or are simply
not wanted, no effort, no money to uphold? Actually, there are quite
location specific answers to these questions.
How did Telefonhirmondo, the multichannel protoradio invented by
Puskás (it seems this is one of the names bound to become famous
outside Hungary), change habits of attending the Opera near the turn
of the 20th century, when you could listen to it from your home at
an annual fee? How did they advertise the brand-new services, and
just have a look at these stylish, great sound-reproducing appara-
tuses, don’t you feel the drive to know what they were listening to
on them?
All countries have radio amateurs, communicating in their own
special way from their home studios, but imagine what it could have
been like in one of these Eastern block countries... Now capturing
and reproducing, transmitting sound have become kind of like a big
do-it-yourself multimedia game, or at least that’s what we are trying
to prove here. Come and join us in laying down and deciphering the
rules of this air- and awareness-raising game.
sonic fusion
Apart from vanished buildings and changed environments, all cities have sounds that perish by time, the sources of which disappeared. The noise of an unusual public transport
vehicle, the new bells in a church to stick to the memory of old days and the existence of parallel worlds represented in the philosophy buildings that make up a city.
“Mind the gap” sounds different in Budapest - just take a ride on the underground: no no direct translation, but at least they tell you right after closing the door, how the next
undecipherable stop sounds like - just be creative enough to match the sound and the tiny letters on the information board.
From 10th of October, if you wonder around the streets you may actually spot some wild looking, well-equipped sound catchers trying to capture unique as well as all too familiar
sounds, map up what’s happening over here, over and over and below the surface, and transform the unseen world a bit.