Sympathy Vs.

Empathy

Introduction : Many people know what "sympathy" means much more than they
know what "empathy"means. Some believe the two terms are synonyms. But
Sympathy emphasizes sharing distressing feelings whereas empathy does not
emphasize any particular type of feeling. The listener using empathy shares
(experiences) whatever feelings the talker is expressing at the moment, regardless of
whether the feelings are distressing (grief, for example) or pleasant (love, for
example).
Sympathy may also involve agreeing with some aspects of the other person's
feelings, beliefs, etc. whereas empathy emphasizes understanding all of them with no
interest in either agreeing or disagreeing.
The person using empathy tunes into the entire inner world of the other person
whereas the person using sympathy typically tunes into only those aspects with which
he agrees.
The listener using empathy usually responds more comprehensively to the talker as
compared with the listener using sympathy.
I believe that sympathy involves being less active when listening as compared with
empathy. Tuning in to the talker's inner world often readily happens for the listener
using sympathy because he focuses on aspects with which he agrees, for example, a
belief in tax cuts. By contrast, the listener using empathy sometimes has to work at
tuning in if he does not, for example, believe in tax cuts. In order to understand this
aspect of the talker's inner world, he would need to listen carefully to the talker
justifying the need for tax cuts.
I also believe that sympathizing and empathizing differ in the activity of judging or
evaluating. Returning again to the example of tax cuts will help to explain. The
person using sympathy believes in tax cuts which means that he has a positive
evaluation of it. Another way of saying this is that agreement with a belief means
having a positive evaluation of it. By contrast, the person using empathy is not
interested in whether he has a positive or negative evaluation of tax cuts but in
understanding the talker's positive evaluation of cuts. Being non-judgmental is central
for the person using empathy. Sympathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person's
bad news or feelings, feeling sorry for the person suffering the bad news/feelings, and

whether the sympathizer agrees with any of the person's beliefs, opinions, or goals
whereas empathy focuses on sharing (experiencing) a person's bad and good news or
feelings and understanding the bad or good news/feelings rather than feeling sorry for
the person's bad news/feelings or agreeing or disagreeing with the person's beliefs,
opinions, or goals. (http://www.empathy-and-listening-skills.info/)
Sympathy and empathy are separate terms with some very important distinctions. Sympathy and
empathy are both acts of feeling, but with sympathy you feel for the person; youre sorry for them or
pity them, but you dont specifically understand what theyre feeling. Sometimes were left with little
choice but to feel sympathetic because we really cant understand the plight or predicament of
someone else. It takes imagination, work, or possibly a similar experience to get to empathy.
Empathy can best be described as feeling with the person. Notice the distinction between for and
with. To an extent you are placing yourself in that persons place, have a good sense of what they
feel, and understand their feelings to a degree. It may be impossible to be fully empathetic because
each individual's reactions, thoughts and feelings to tragedy are going to be unique. Yet the idea of
empathy implies a much more active process. Instead of feeling sorry for, youre sorry with and have
clothed yourself in the mantle of someone elses emotional reactions.
It is fairly easy to feel sympathetic to someone elses difficulties. We can definitely pity others who
have lost a loved one, undergone significant trauma, or faced terribly difficult times. Those of us who
watched the terror of the 9/11 attacks could certainly sympathize, but could we empathize? Actually,
many of us could, though few of us can lay claim to really knowing what it might be like to either be
in that attack or lose loved ones in it.
All Americans shared in the common ground that America had been attacked. People with no
relationship to any person affected by the attack were stunned, shocked, saddened, in grief. We
were not just sympathetic, and many arose to express empathy; if we did not know with surety, we
could imagine how horribly difficult this was for the many directly affected. Even newspapers around
the world felt with Americans, as the French newspaper Le Monde featured the headline We are All
Americans.
This is perhaps the best example of how empathy differs from sympathy. Sympathy expressed to a
person in grief suggests that person is alone in their grief. Empathy suggests youre in it with them,
you can imagine what it is to be in their shoes, and you are together with them in emotional turmoil
and loss. Even the best people in the world may have a hard time expressing true empathy. A
person who suffers a significant loss may have a hard time talking to his/her family because what is
being expressed is condolences or pity, which may not be very helpful.
The need for true empathy gives rise to many groups of people who are encountering huge losses.
There are numerous therapy groups for battered women, rape victims, parents who have lost
children, people undergoing divorce, children with significant illnesses. In such groups, people often
have the opportunity to talk to others experiencing things in a very direct way.
In these settings, those suffering dont get the sympathy of others, but instead get the empathy of
others. There is often an implied understanding since all people in such a group are similarly

circumstanced. Frequently, what a person in grief really needs to hear is Ive done that too," "I totally
get what youre saying," or "I had the exact same thoughts," from someone else: all expressions of
empathy. What they tend not to want to hear is Im so sorry for you, an expression of sympathy that
makes them feel alone and isolated in their grief.

(http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-the-difference-between-sympathy-andempathy.htm)
Empathy is harder to accomplish for many reasons. We not only have to actively listen to
another persons problem without judgement but then be honest with ourselves and the the
other person about our feelings as a listener. That connection builds bridges that enforce
trust and understanding that are healthy and positive for both people. At a later time it may
be appropriate to look for a solution. Nothing in the world makes me feel better than when
trusted family or friends understand where Im standing. It makes me feel better because it
verifies where I actually stand, I frequently get lost in my life.
Next time someone opens up to you about a problem, try to listen to what they are saying.
They are reaching out for help and full acknowledgement is the first step. I know its hard to
willingly put yourself through more unnecessary pain but it in doing so you will both feel
better. Identifying similar feeling in similar situations strengthens healthy bonds for not only
the two of you but the community at whole. We all suffer at some point and by talking it out
we can genuinely help each other through hardships.
(http://themindunleashed.org/2015/01/difference-sympathy-empathy.html)

The feeling of sympathy emerges from the recognition that another person is
suffering, in contrast to empathy, where the other person's pain or suffering
is felt. A person expresses sympathy, but shares empathy. The empathic feeling
may be brief, and the person feeling it is said to "put themselves in the other
person's place."
Of the two, empathy is a deeper feeling, but sympathy can be just as honest and
heartfelt. However, empathy can forge a deeper and more meaningful
connection, thus serving as a bridge for greater communication between
individuals or between a leader and his or her followers.

Relationship Between Empathy and Sympathy

The basis for both sympathy and empathy is compassion, a blending of
understanding and acceptance of others that can be seen as being derived or
enhanced by knowledge and wisdom.

Compassion recognizes the "me" in "you," the shared commonality of feelings

between individuals. Both sympathy and empathy imply caring for another
person, but with empathy, the caring is enhanced or expanded by being able
to feel the other person's emotions.
This video offers a clear and concise overview of the differences between
sympathy and empathy:

Examples
Empathy and sympathy are not mutually exclusive, nor are they always felt in
tandem. For example, people who lose a loved one can receive sympathy from
many, but only those who have experienced a similar loss are able to empathize
truly.
A case where there might be sympathy, but no empathy, could include someone
who files for bankruptcy. Most people who care about that person would feel
sympathetic totheir situation and maybe pity them, a feeling sometimes
closely related to sympathy but relatively few would be capable of
empathizing, as only a minority of people ever go through the experience of
filing for bankruptcy themselves.

Empathy, Sympathy, and Humanity

The capacity to sympathize and empathize are considered vital for a sense of
humanity i.e., the ability to understand one's fellow humans and their
problems. People who lack this capacity are often classified
as narcissistic, sociopathic, or in extreme cases,psychopathic. However, these
terms are only applicable if a person consistently lacks the capacity to
sympathize or empathize with others.
In general, there are many cases where people may not feel sympathetic or
empathetic due to lack of knowledge or because their experiences are different;
this does not imply abnormal behavior. On the other hand, some people are
overly empathetic and can eventually be overwhelmed by the negative feelings
they take on from their relationships and encounters with other people.

Origin

The origin of the word "sympathy" come from the ancient Greek sunpathos,
meaning "with/together" and "suffering." The word was modified in Late Latin
to sympathia and then in Middle French to a recognizable sympathie.
"Empathy" was coined in 1909 by British psychologist Edward B. Titchener.
While the word's spelling borrows from an ancient Greek word, emptheia,
which meant "passion," Titchener used "empathy" for the purpose of translating
a German word (einfhlungsvermgen) and its concept of shared feeling.
Oddly, in modern Greek, emptheia no longer has positive connotations. It
instead refers to negative feelings or prejudices against another person.
(http://www.diffen.com/difference/Empathy_vs_Sympathy)
Key words : Sympathy, Empathy, feelings, condolence, understanding