1 Volume 2, Issue 1

20 1 0
OH NO!!! ITS
2 JANUARY!

TOP SCAMS OF 2009: 19

The
4
Dance
Studio

7
Running RWANDA
13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com
 2

OH NO!!! ITS JANUARY!

It
’s that time of the year again , when you look into
your pockets and curse December. But first, lets
look back at December; Emslie <cork university, UK> ,
Jew turned agnostic, would normally be celebrating
he laments. Alfred, a money lender is wringing his
hands in misery, “they borrowed all my money. No
one is in position to pay. And no one is in position to
buy the security they left me.” Sherry <nokia> almost

H
the 8 day Festival of lights known as Hanukkah ; “this fainted when she saw her credit report. “oh my God.

O ITS
year I think I will do a no deity celebration of life. ” Why did I spend all this ? Why ? Why ? Why ?” Linda
Ahmed Brown <UAE , Emirates> has already had his <alcatel> wonders what all the hullabaloo is about
fill; “Idd was off the hook . Three days of partying and : “they all knew January was coming. I kept money

!
feasting in all meats. And just before that there was for the month. What are they whining about? ” John
Halloween. Now to find my Jewish friends and smile at <Stanbic> works in the loan department and is looking

! Y
me xtian neighbours.” while some were already in the

!!
forward to a lovely month : “this is when people come
mood, others were dreading the season. For them, in to borrow money and give me which work which

R
it means work. Diana <PWC, Ug> is just finishing up translates into commission. A very good valentines

O
her leave;” they wanted us rested before they could to me.” despite a few, its evident that January is a

A
kill us with work. December is the auditors worst fear month that most would like to skip over. Fresh from

N U
come to life. I will be lucky to sleep on xmas day.”(she the holiday spending spree, most people are broke
wasn’t lucky ) Jude <Warid, Ug > is cursing his luck. yet expenses are not on holiday. Lets just pray we all
;”my leave application was postponed to January. I survive January !!! Happy New Year !!

N
have to work throughout the month of December.”
Timothy <China >is also counting the stars: “I am stuck
in this country for the holidays. Work. Work .work!! One

A
day!! One day!!”(Timo was lucky enough to make it

J
back home for the season).
For those still in the dark , this holiday season
was a cut above the rest . Events were kick started
by Halloween then Idd Adhuha , Thanksgiving , with
Hanukkah jumping into the mix. Christmas retained
its spot as the climax with New years celebrations
closing it all off. Amongst all these, companies held
their traditional end of year parties, and couples
had dream December weddings. Faisal <URA,
SA> already had his party ;”I say bring it on!! Our HR
department was receiving so many invites so we had
our end of year party in November. I will be gate
crashing other companies parties now.” (he actually
did). People partied , ate, drank and went to places
in December.
And now January is having the last laugh.
Everybody is broke. Norman is cursing the trips he took.
“I am so broke I could borrow from a church mouse,”

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

3
The TEAM
Businge Abid Weere In The News
Managing Editor
Tiger Woods’ squeaky clean image under threat
Raymond Kukundakwe<rhino> as wife found with golf club next to car amidst
Content and Design Editor swirling rumors

Grammy’s snub Whitney hoouston as her new

Jacque Kasoma
album goes platinum
Legal Affairs Editor
AIDS prevalence rates shoot up worldwide
Darlyne Komukama
Fashion Editor Ugandan government stands by anti-gay bill as
donors threaten aid cuts
Bernard Olupot
Prose and Poetry Editor China warns about high AIDS spread rate
among same-sex couples

Lourd Mathhias Muwonge

Swiss vote to ban Minarets on mosques
Sports Editor
Nigerian President hospitalized for over a
Edge Consult month causing political crisis
Business Editor
North Korea devalues currency
Gereminah Oberu
Google teams up with Twitter in response to
Designer
Facebook-Yahoo partnership

Writers in this Issue Iranians run riot

Brian B. Coutinho
Sara Akelly Dubai to open worlds tallest building
Otea the grate
Angella Emurwon USA introduces new security measures amidst
Peter Mugisha fallout of failed aircraft suicide bombing

Janat Njiku
“blue ” moon excites skygazers
Ronald Rwakigumba
Dr Mohammed Lamorde Crater ideal for moon colony identified
Richard Balenzi
Zu African Cup of Nations starts amidst deadly
shooting
COVER PICTURE
Fez Obama and Hillary tell-all book raises tension in
Washington

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com


ORGANISATION IN FOCUS :
The Dance Studio
W elcome to The Dance Studio! Situated in
the entertainment hub of Kisementi, The Dance
Studio is on the second floor right above Checkers
supermarket. It is an austere place with a pastel
shade of purple on its walls, large mirrors and a white
tiled floor. It doesn’t seem all that remarkable at first
glance. A simple set up: music courtesy of a sound
mixer hooked up to a laptop and 2 big speakers,
and a charming dance tutor who immediately
puts you at ease.
A little while later we meet Brenda. To
see Brenda dance it is hard to imagine
the unassuming, no-nonsense lawyer
that walked in twenty minutes earlier.
She dances with abandon and
a smile radiates from her whole
being as she executes with ease
a complex set of moves that she’s
been working on for two weeks. By
her own admission, she has begun
to see herself in a whole new way.
She is gaining confidence from
mastering the steps, looking and
feeling superb from the great
workout she gets dancing
three times a week. These
days, she adds killer heels to
her pinstriped suits.
Bukenya, a visual effects
consultant, is her dance
partner this session and
is working on his leading
skills. In the partnering
dances, the
success of the
dance is only
as good as the
male partner’s
ability to lead. His
movements are
strong, precise
and fluid to allow
Brenda to shine.
At the end of
the hour, he
says it feels like he’s just ran half a marathon though
there’s a definite swagger to his step because he
nailed the routine. You better believe it, inspiring
things happen at The Dance Studio.
The Dance Studio opened its doors earlier this year
and is stealthily making its mark on the art scene in
13 Jan 2010
4
Kampala. The dance tutors are some of the best
dancers in Uganda who have put in the hard work
to become competent dance tutors with a wide
range of styles from Hip hop, through African and
Modern Contemporary as well as Ballroom which
includes the popular Salsa. They regularly update
their dance technique and range with international
workshops and showcases in Africa and Europe.
The Dance classes are organized in one (1) hour
sessions Monday to Saturday from 9am to 8pm
at the very competitive price of UGX 10,000 per
session. Package deals are available for twelve (12)
sessions or more, couples and
groups of friends/colleagues.
Peak hours are 5pm – 8pm on
weekdays and there is usually
a waitlist for these hours as the
studio is trying to keep the classes
small so as to have an effective tutor to
client ratio.
The benefits of dance are exponential
for personal wellbeing. First, fun activities
release endorphins that help relieve stress
and make us feel ‘happy’ increasing our
ability to face day to day challenges.
Second, learning a
new skill keeps your
brain sharp and
boosts memory.
Third, the physical
exercise builds
strength, stamina
and can be used
to lose excess
body weight
or maintain
one’s ideal body
weight.
You can join a class individually,
as a couple or with a group of
friends. You may have three left feet
or an innate rhythm that takes over
when the music plays, either way, it’s
a terrific way
to have
fun, release
stress and get a good work out.
Disclaimer: For best results, don’t take yourself too
seriously.
By Angella Emurwon
<the writer is a dance instructor, free lance poet , unpublished
literary genius and has a penchant for Indian coffee>
www.workzine.com
5
OFFICE tales :
The failed
I have been reading your column “Office
Promotion
characters” and I decided to tell you about a
workmate of mine, you could call her the office
***** <the editor did not add those asterix.>
Eve is pretty. She is very light brown, slender
with well apportioned hips and luscious lips.
She has this practiced walk that makes her hips
sway slightly ,subtly that gets all men excited.
That’s what made me be instantly on my guard
around her. On first glance, she strikes you as
a friendly , well behaved intelligent girl. She is
very intelligent. She knows how to behave well
and even more importantly , she knows how
to be friendly, to the right people. I have been
reading about office characters and this babe
fits the personage of stupid-pretty-ambitious-
too-clever-thinks-too-much-of-self tag. See ,
when Eve came to work in our department,
we were all delighted. It meant less workload
for us and we could get all the nerds in the
IT department to get us internet access at all
13 Jan 2010
times. She was an efficient worker who met all
deadlines and could help you out. The problem
was that any favor she gave out, she collected
with a vengeance. She would make one do crazy
things for her just because one owed her or
because the fool man could not see beyond her
beauty and makeup. Eve was a self-conceited ,
ambitious, cruel ,rude, arrogant bitch. She never
did anything unless there was something in it
for her. She bullied and abused her colleagues.
Her personal relationships were terrible. With
time, everyone in the office got to know about
her. The grapevine spread the news far and
wide. After sometime, Eve decided she wanted
to move to another more exciting department.
Despite applying everywhere, she got nowhere.
So she implemented another strategy : sleep
with all the top bosses. Eve seduced all the top
management in the company and opened her
legs for everyone. As word got around, more
of the top bosses who had always fancied her
came for their share. This line of operation
failed miserably. Not only did most of the
managers just use her, but when one was fool
enough to forward her name, the people in her
department of choice offered to take less pay
and work more hours to keep her out. In our
department, we also threatened to resign unless
she was thrown out. Stupid girl has now bitten
the dust.
This is the story <real encounter> of Eve <not real
name> working in K-Telecom <not real company >
located in Kenya <real country > that submitted by
Janat <real person>.
www.workzine.com

The End of
Innocence
BEFORE you pack up to leave, kindly
lend me your sight.
You just clicked the Save button one last time.
Your resignation letter is now ready to be
printed on Company paper, using a Company
Printer, during time you ought to be offering
the Company.
But that is the least of your worries.
You say the Company let you down.
They had convinced you that they Blame it on
were different, that they would
promote internally – groom their the
own – and now they let you
down – mbu.
MD – they
say. straight to the MD, mbu you have no
You argue that this is not an act of vengeance
– that you are simply ‘moving on’ – to better
things. Your friends are ‘happy’ for you.
Mbu your new employer is ‘better’, ‘more
considerate’, puts‘first’, tolerant, and will at
least fill positions internally – hullo!
You can not turn back – you’ve probably told
half the staff that you are leaving anyway – I
bet you they are all glad you are leaving. If you
have an issue with sourcing personnel from
outside, you probably also have an issue with
the tea girl who brought you thewrong cup
the other day, an issue with the new girl who
stays in the office longer, and the other day
somebody was seated on ‘your’ chair. You also
can not stand your neighbors music.
You are an excellent professional – you know
your stuff, and isn’t that why you are able to
another job at will. That’s the smile on your
13 Jan 2010
6
Section
co-workers– good riddance to bitchiness, and
to competition.
Whatever happened to the innocence in
you, that made you stuff oily chapattis in the
pockets of your Kaki shorts at Shimoni as you
kept pinching on them thinking we did not
notice, sorry but we noticed.
Blame it on the MD – they say. Welcome to
the world. Your MD did not leave his son at
Lincoln this morning to be nice to you. He
was hired (yes hired) to create a return on
investment. Forget those dreams of awards
and hugs – this is business and it’s ugly, but it
brings the money. Hear it from me, your MD
is not going to hell, and he
might just reach heaven before you.
He is doing his job and needless
to add, a very good job – cut him some.
You print the letter and head
time for the HR. You are not providing notice
period and are leaving tomorrow with all the
companies data, also deleted, thank heavens
you would have formatted the hard disk
– ‘lets see how they will manage without me’
And who are we to say otherwise, we’ve
probably left somewhere to be happy
elsewhere. It’s your shot.
Ronald Rwakigumba
<The Writer is not a good person to talk
to when you want to quit your job>
www.workzine.com
7

Running
Vietnam War was justified. Fat chance of
that happening! In short I always felt there
was a disconnect between my aspirations

RWANDA
and theirs. Yet somehow we still remained
friends.

During these first two years I was

always searching for an elusive middle
ground which would combine elements
of Christian virtue with elements of
Western fun. I had become distrustful of
the overly religious who I thought were a
pretentious lot and was weary of keeping
the company of those who led a carefree
fun filled existence, like life was one big

F
I did). While my friends were some of joy ride. Many were the nights I spent
riends always ask me what I make
the most decent people I have ever met, in agonizing thought, wondering what
of Rwanda. I have been here for
it always felt like they had erected an I could do to find likeminded people or
exactly two years and these are a
invisible wall around them which you to convince people about this ‘middle
few of my impressions; first, the
could never penetrate. At first I thought ground’.
obvious- the countryside is beautiful,
Kigali city is very clean and safe compared this was a temporary wall which would
break down as they got to know and trust It was only in my 3rd and 4th year that I
to other East African cities and corruption
me. But with time I learnt this is who started finding friends I could relate to.
is relatively low. And of course the girls
they were and this is the only way they And things became easier after that.
are gorgeous. I am told the guys are
handsome too, but that is not for me to knew how to lead their lives. The only
times the walls would crumble was if they Back to Rwanda; for all the impressive
say.
got drunk. It is then that someone might strides Rwanda has made over the past
confess to hating a certain housemate 15 years, most of our hearts remain cold
Having said that, Rwanda reminds me
and distrustful. In that respect living in
very much of my sojourn in England and whom I previous assumed was this
Rwanda sometimes feels like déjà vu for
France where I did my undergrad as I will person’s best friend. I found it very sad
that any one has to be drunk in order me. It reminds me of UK and France. Too
later explain.
for them to open up, to embrace their many people seem to have erected walls
vulnerability, to be humane. around themselves and will only reveal
There are things about England and
morsels of themselves while in a drunken
France which I will always have fond
In England most people were keen to get state.
memories of; The first time I got on to
a train, the first time I saw and touched along in with everyone else. That often
meant being blind to your differences. I remember one incident when a friend
snow, the first time I said something in
It also meant engaging in harmless talk from Uganda met me and some friends
English or French and the person I was
like who got the most ‘wasted’, ‘sloshed’, at a popular hang-out spot in Kigali. In
addressing did not ask me to repeat
‘knackered’(all mean drunk) during the a bid to get to know people better, he
myself so that he could make out what I
past weekend. It was considered prudent kept attempting to ask what people’s
was saying (strange accent I had!).
to steer clear of anything controversial like occupations were with questions like
“Where do you work?” Or “What do you
I remember the picturesque French towns politics or religion for fear of upsetting
do?” To which he got ambiguous answers
and the elegant and beautiful French girls others who may hold contrarian views.
Intellectual discourse too was shunned like “I work somewhere down the road”,
and the unfailingly polite English folk.
for fear of coming across as a bit of a snob. “I work in town”, “I do some consulting
It was actually considered cool to appear stuff.” No one was specific about what
I also remember the touching random
they do for a living. Yet all these people
acts of kindness; Being invited by a friend to be not so well read. Many of my law
course mates bragged that they had never had decent jobs which were no cause for
to spread Christmas with his family, a
shame!
French classmate offering to help me with read and completed a book their entire
my French law assignments, being greeted lives! (I did not believe that for a single
On the surface everyone is friends with
heartily by a stranger on a chilly morning. second!)
everyone else, and whenever you meet
The above acts stood out because they
it is all hugs and kisses, but try to delve
were rare. In my past life in Uganda I had Often, my attempts to steer conversations
deeper, and you will mostly find its all
come to expect acts of kindness almost as to something more intellectually
stimulating was mostly an exercise in superficial stuff. It is not always obvious
a birthright because that is the nature of
futility, my friends wearing blank looks to visitors, but it becomes apparent when
the people.
while I pontificated about immigration, after two years you cannot say you really
free speech, fair trade, latent racism, know who your friends are or what their
There were many other things to admire
aspirations are. In fact without Face book
about life in England and France, but my Islamic fundamentalism, African
I would never know most of my Rwandan
overriding memories of university life are renaissance or any other topic on which I
held strong views. friends’ surnames. Some have tried to
of cold winters, being broke, fruitless job
explain it off as cultural while others
searches and the ubiquitous plastic smiles
I particularly remember going to watch blame it on our tragic history. Whatever it
of the English folk .
the ALI movie with a group of friends. is, it has to change and the change starts
After the movie, all they went on about with us.
However, all the above pale into
insignificance when compared to the was how dope Ali was dodging punches
with his two-step move which was like Happy New Year to you all!
overwhelming sense of loneliness that I
felt in my first two years despite being he was dancing. I would have preferred
to discuss his religious views and his By Richard Balenzi
surrounded by friends most of whom
refusal to be conscripted into the US Army <the writer’s favorite book is “ The
were White( only 2 other Blacks studied
on grounds that he did not believe the Gospel according to Luke. ” and loves
law or stayed in Halls of Residence like
watching the British sitcom “coupling”>

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 8

You know when you are out of uni and you search
every nook and cranny for jobs and then you finally get one !!??
peanuts and big peanuts, cuz I get the really small one that if you had
someone your hands, you would need a microscope to view them).
I excitingly accepted reasoning that this was a big opportunity, the
Believe it or not the 1st job I got was at a garage. Funnily enough it
once in a lifetime kind that if you refuse you will never find anywhere
wasn’t that bad, apart from being the only female species there and
and regret for the rest of your life. I was Personal Assistant to CEO,
being forced to learn things about male gadgets.
How big a post, how exciting to sit next to the vision navigator of the
famous and highly reputable group of schools. I was given a desk of
2nd job – a media firm, we use to work 9- anytime after 6 that the
my own, a phone and a comp – very different to my last jobs where
boss allows you to go. Usually he would wait for 5.30pm to load you
the space I currently have on my own, in my old job was shared by
with lots of work and bug you with hundreds of questions, So by the
5 employees, all who had files and papers to work on plus had to
time you’re leaving work, its around 8p.m. and that’s very early, so
eat and drink form the same desk. This truly felt International and
you better run out given the chance. After a series of good and bad
Corporate.
jobs I decided to get married, thought I may do better in that field.
THEN: On my very first week, I was included in many meetings,
3rd job – Accountant to a retail home appliances store.
met many big profile people. I felt sooo good and
Very good salary, but boss was so uneducated
special and LUCKY!

Story of
it hurt. I get all accounts are manually done,
NOW: As days go bye, I wonder what the
I get everything streamlined and put it in
whole daze was about. Day in day out,
place computerised accounting system.
I wonder why I had to go through 3
One day I give him reports from the
years of university and spend some
new system and due to illiteracy
sleepless nights trying to cram
says: I don’t want this system, let’s

my life!
formulas and names. A normal day for
go back to the old one (Oh yeah you
me is come to office, clean the CEO’s
better believe this, there are these kind
desk, greet all that come my way, serve
of people out there making billions per
coffee to CEO and whoever is in his
year). After a good 8mnths of struggling
office, sit and stare at comp, read any inbox
back and forth with this illiterate boss, I quit.
mail that I may have (usually its instructions
Unfortunately I’m 4months and doesn’t look like
on print this, send this, call this person), then when
anyone is willing to employ a preg woman, so I stay home for
am bored I surf through the internet (mind you all interesting sites
about a year. Then one day I get this extremely unbelievable offer. To
like face book, yahoo, gmail etc ) If am lucky he may ask me to type
work as P.A for the CEO of an international school, the biggest of its
a written letter. Now and again he will come and check my monitor
kind in E. Africa.
to just make sure I haven’t cracked my way into an inaccessible site.
And of course all fellow employees tell me not to say am bored and
I go for the interview, in my best skirt suite, looking very sharp and
to look like am doing something. You wonder how much you can do,
confident, ready to take on whatever comes my way. Boss explains
when you have no work to do.
to me how the job is very challenging for someone who is really
ambitious and willing to learn and this kind of person needs to be a
Oh by the way, given those terms, it means, you can’t ask for a salary
graduate at least, with good qualifications and work experience (that’s
raise, cuz as it is there isn’t any work you’re doing. Soooo much for
just a summary of it in my own words, you know things that bosses
INTERNATIONALISM!
say to make you think the job is THE OPPORTUNITY you have been
long searching for.)
Lessons learnt:
1.Guys if you ever envy any of your friends who have big positions
The interview was crazy, I was even being asked about cricket
in big places thinking they earn a lot, please from now on, DON’T!
players, scores, the MTV music awards (if that’s what they call them).
Sometimes you’d rather be the tea girl at an NGO than the manager
After changing diapers for 6mnths and being home for a year, you’re
at a big private firm.
pretty not in line with world happenings, especially those that didn’t
qualify for news headlines. I was sure I was never going to get this
2. Not everything that glitters is Gold; if it isn’t metal then it’s some
one, and wasn’t too worried about it either, due to fear of being asked
sharp glass waiting to cut you immediately you pick it up.
the same questions day in day out.
3. When you complain of too much work, please think of the man who
has no work and its driving him insane
Surprisingly enough I was called for the job and even though I was
offered peanuts,(please at this point I need to distinguish small
ZU

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

9

from the IT department

A fter working in the Internet / IT industry for several years
I have come across my share of people that should not be allowed
to touch a computer. I could not find a test that would test the
knowledge of an average person to determine if they were worthy
or not to use a computer.

Here are twenty one questions to test your computer literacy. Answer
carefully, you are being graded. Answer yes or no

1. Do you proclaim, out loud, your three year old knows more about
computers than you do?
2. Are you still looking for the “Any Key”?
3. Do you really think you win something for being the 421,232th visitor?
4. Is your only solution to call the family “computer geek”?
5. Do you call the thing above the 8 a snowflake?
6. Is Internet Explorer your default browser?
7. Do you believe that the Firefox people are talking about is the 1982 movie
about a really cool jet?
8. Do the blinking ads compel you to click?
9. Are your passwords on a sticky note on your monitor?
10. Do you ignore those messages that tell your anti-virus subscription has expired?
11. Is your home network’s name “workgroup”?
12. Do you not believe in a firewall?
13. Do you anxiously open every attachment in your email?
14. When someone is explaining something technical, do you dismiss it as “computer talk”?
15. Do you think you can get a free iPod for filling out your zip code?
16. Do you believe the IT people have magical powers?
17. Do you have a collection of floppy discs?
18. Have you hit your monitor when your computer gave an error?
19. Do you still the think the Internet is a fad?
20. When someone asks what’s wrong with your computer, do you respond with, “It’s slow”?

Well, did you do? If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions,
then you fail. You probably already give the IT folks migraines and
it would be best if you stepped away from the computer. Oh yeah,
they already make fun of you. You are referred to as a SEU - Stupid
End User. When you call them with a problem they laugh and tell the other
IT people that you have another Eye-Dee-Ten-Tee error (figure it out). The only
thing you are good for is clicking on ads. There may be hope for you yet.

If you answered “No” to all the questions, then you had a good l
augh and sympathized with IT people around the world.

Thank you for not being one of them.

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com


TOP SCAMS OF 2009:
a toast to human
ingenuity and
stupidity 4. Help email/text : a distress message from one
of your friends usually from their usual address or
10. The building scam: this one happens to
the rich people. A person approaches you
with a deal of putting up a building under
various agreeable terms with the killer one
being that after a number of years or months ,
total ownership and all proceeds revert to
you. Unbeknownst to you, the building will
fall aprt in the year or month after you get to
own it
9. Nigerian con : an email in your inbox saying
so and so died leaving this much money and
your account details are needed for a joint claim
of which you will get over 1Million $ . Either
your account is cleaned out or you are asked to
pay some processing fees. Needless to say, your
share never materializes
8. Lottery win : again an email saying that you
have won first prize in a lottery for which you
never bought a ticket or that your email address
was picked at random and you won. Either your
account is cleaned out after you dish out your
account details or you are asked for a processing
fee
7. Festivity gifts: an almost ingenuios scam.
You are informed that you have been chosen
to receive a gift in commeration of idd/xmas/
thanksgiving/new years/easter/ Hanukkah/ etc and
you are asked to contact someone who will ask
you for money if you are lucky or worse if you
are not.
6. Dumb guy with letter; pathetic but
presentable looking guy approaches you in a
restaurant or mall and shows you a letter with
sob story that touches the strings of your heart.
Letter also says bearer is dumb or deaf or both.
Dude even has an ID. Interesting how the bearer
13 Jan 2010
10
never gets enough money to pay off whatever he
wanted to pay off
5. Woman with child : desperate tired woman
with a child or two in tow. Presentable looking or
even smartly dressed. Has sob story of not having
enough money either to get home or for kids or
how she was robbed. Sometimes she forgets she
conned you before and spins the same yarn a few
days later. Found in a crowded place
strange phone number with seemingly authentic
details about you. They are stuck somewhere or
something like that. Trap is the strange contact
address or account they ask you to deposit the
money. Can be avoided by making calls to
person involved or to people close to them.
3. Foreign jobs: usually an offer to work
elsewhere at good terms. Seems legitimate
with offices and staff. After paying a fee, work
documents are processed for you and someone
escorts you to the new country. When you get
there, all your documents are taken away from
you and one enters a life of slavery with little or
no contact with the outside world.
2. Ponzi scheme / Pyramids : long running
scam where one is told to join a scheme for a
fee and get others to join. The more people you
convince, the more you earn. It always goes
burst. It operates like an MLM but usually doesn’t
have a product attached to it.
1. Drum rolls please : the number one scam of
2009 is …. Wait for it ….. THE DISSAPPEARING
BANK. Residents of the border town of Malaba in
the East African Country of Uganda experienced
this one first hand. The bank opened an office
in Malaba town, advertised on radio and took
$100,000 in deposits over two months. But when
investors turned up to reclaim their money, all
they found was a note saying: “Sorry the bank
operations have been moved to a new place.”
The scammers had paid for food, rent and
advertising with fake cheques. all that was left
inside the office of Visa Finance Bank are empty
chairs - the cashiers, fans and even the carpets
have all gone.
http://allafrica.com/stories/200907221041.html
www.workzine.com
11

Grating
I was in of�ice early - very early holidays... saw the most beautiful beings.
this morning and thought, why Singing in the clouds. And we
not kill two birds with one So, I have decided in the spirit of have the nerve not to believe
stone? I have picked up the stone Christmas, to ask santa to give guys who are high on weed...
again, one bird dead, I’m looking us so many potholes, that we
for the second... may be forced to slow down our I’m �iguring a way of putting
driving, and not just because of smileys in my article, just so
There is this skit in a music them police speeding guns. I’m you can ‘get’ what I’m saying by
video where a guy auditions, sure the IG of Police has included ‘how’ I say it. I read somewhere
with shades and all, but his voice a request for more of these that it could be done with words,
is, to say the least, shady. The devilish devices in his Santa but I don’t have the time to write
ever so delicate judge assures wishlist. (smug smiley) and things like
him that he would give him a that all over an article. Messy,
standing ovation - if only he was My apologies to all them sales- and you end up analysing jokes
deaf! friends of mine, but there is instead of just groaning at them.
this one eyes-rolling, disgusting Abid, I now know of a way you
This revolution in big brother is question that I keep hearing,”Are can repay me; *wink wink*
too much. Even the most hated you tired of....?” You can �ill in the (urgh!)
guy in the house won? Were they blanks. If your in a trance like
counting the votes backwards? state, you’ll be like, “Yes.” Beenie man was in town. Or was
Not that I voted, but, I felt that he? I’m not so sure...
common sentiment was against Which is what those questions
him. Does my opinion matter intend you to do. For me, not Sometimes people think I’m
any more? More importantly, to brag, I am more awake than not sober when I write a whole
does my vote count? Even more that. I usually snap out of the truckload of nonsensical matter
important, would my vote have trance like, “Yes, but, who are like this. I wish to assure all of
counted? MOST IMPORTANTLY... you? Do I know you? Why am I you that I am ...not!
wait, this is too much... talking to you? Why did I even
answer your question?” Then I’d Speaking of which, I am yet to
The world cup is around the give him a question of my own, take my leave...
corner, and it is my new years “ Are you tired of trying to trick
resolution to give you world people into buying your stuff by P.S. I don’t know if they write
cup updates instead of pothole asking them the same, old ‘Are PSs on articles, so we’ll just call
updates...at least until the world you tired’ questions?” Right, this a letter for publication, but,
is over - or the world cup - sure, now you know, get a life. I’d like to warn the editor that
whatever. the english contained herein is
The wise men once said, “ We correct, and any grammatical
Speaking of potholes, I have come to bring Gold to the inconsistencies are FULLY
now agree with our august baby...” I’m hunting for them. One INTENDED for effect. I’m
minister of Infrastructure and of them is going to be Godfather watching you....
development (lol here) that to my kids...
we need rougher roads. The By Otea the grate
rate of carnage on our roads While shepherds watched their
is so alarming, that the alarm �locks by night, they heard
needs resetting...at least for the the most beautiful voices, and

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 12

humour CENTRAL
The Burglar The future of church collections
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he
picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange,
disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying,

“Jesus is watching you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight

off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook
his head, promised himself a vacation after the next
big score, then clicked the flashlight on and began
searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the
stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a
bell he heard,

“Jesus is watching you.” Freaked out, he shined his

light around frantically, looking for the source of the
voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight What were Tiger Woods
beam came to rest on a parrot. “Did you say that?” the and his wife doing out at
burglar hissed at the parrot. 2.30 in the morning?
“Yep,” the parrot confessed, and then squawked, “I’m
just trying to warn you.” The burglar relaxed, “Warn THEY WENT CLUBBING.
me, huh?” Who in the world are you? “Moses,” replied
the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind
of people would name a bird Moses?” “The kind of
people that would name a Pit Bull Jesus!!!”

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

13
idler’s corner
Mathew 5:25
‘Goo afternoon sir, i believe you realise you ave been goin in too
too fast for our Ugandan roads here. You almoss causin assiden’!’
He was a good man. A God fearing man.
He was a saved man, ready to do what the Holy
book said.
Compromise was out of the question, and
that definately meant no breaking the law. So
you can imagine the torture and pain he must
have gone through when he was stopped by a
policeman in Mukono for over speeding.
He was trying to hurry back to Kampala so he
could be in time for his five year old’s birthday
party. But he knew that was no excuse for
breaking the law. He thus resigned himself to
his fate as the Police Officer walked up to his
car.
‘Goo afternoon sir, i believe you realise you ave
been goin in too too fast for our Ugandan roads
here. You almoss causin assiden’!’
‘Im sorry sir! I was in a hurry to get somewhere,
but i know that is no escuse. I will not do it
again!’
‘Ofcos you will not do it again. It is zis pipol
like you who are jus causin assidens assidens
everytime. It is zis pipol like you who olmos kill
Ogenga Latigo on de roads.’
‘I’m sorry sir.’
‘Ok now you are sorre. Now me if i let you
go, aww wil i kno zat you are sorre? Ok Mupa
miimi!’
At this point, the man couldn’t understand
kiswahili, but he knew it sounded like the
Police officer was asking for a bribe. he decided
to ignore the last sentence and instead he
apologised again.
‘Miimi nataka kitu kidogo!!!!’ the officer
repeated!
The man decided that he was not going to go
against the Lord’s commands and give a bribe.
That was corruption! That was theft! That was
sinful! He could go to hell! He could burn for
eternity! He thus refused!
The angered Police Officer decided this was
13 Jan 2010
not going to be the end of him, so he entered the
man’s car and ordered him to drive to the police
station.
On reaching the police station, the man was
locked up in a cell. All the other Police Officers
around advised him to just give the other officer
something small, and he would be set free. The
saved man looked at his wrist, read the letters
WWJD engraved on his wrist band, and thought,
What would Jesus Do! he decided to make
himself comfortable. Of course, for simple over
speeding, he would be out of there in no time.
Minutes turned to hours.
Afternoon turned to evening.
The man refused to succumb to temptation! ‘This
is a test from God!’ he convinced himself! When
it clocked 19.00, the Officer who had arrested
him ordered for blankets to be brought.
‘This man will sleep here and tomorrow morning
we will transfer him to the main prison!’
He looked up to the ceiling and begun reciting
his prayers. Just then another Officer came and
asked why he had refused to pay and be set free.
The man explained that it is not good for a man
of God to do things of the world. The officer,
being a savedee <born again xtian> himself,
decided to quote a scripture for the man:
Mathew 5:25
“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who
is taking you to court. Do it while you are still
with him on the way, or he may hand you over
to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to
the officer, and you may be thrown into prison”
With that, the man paid his way out of jail!
By Sara Akelly
<the writer has an interesting way
of interpreting the bible>
www.workzine.com
 14

Idling
S
o here I am, sitting in a parking lot and it just hit me that I haven’t written anything yet for the workzine! So yeah,
I am going to attempt to do that now, barring of course any interruptions by the hard working parking attendants
coming over to ask me why I’m just sitting here slowly getting cooked in this heat. What, you also want to know
why? Well, let’s see, the sun is…well, shining is a bit of an understatement, burning is more like-
Just a moment, this chap is really getting insistent, I suppose he doesn’t like getting ignored… hey what do you know,
turns out I was blocking traffic!! Good thing I looked up when I did, there was this hefty… um, I’ll go with lady, just
in case she does read the workzine and thinks back to the magical moment when we almost met- almost cuz that
suspiciously metal bar looking like thingy she was holding in her hand gently persuaded me to hightail it out of there
before it could have any… ok, seriously, I don’t have the time to write this out, she’s bearing down fast!! Gotta run!!
Ok, think I lost her. Whew, where was I? …um, maybe I should start over…

So here I am, sitting in a parking lot and- why am I sitting in a parking lot? Now that is a good question!! Why am
I sitting in a parking lot? Well, let’s see, I got into my car and drove- Aiee, I just remembered, some idiot petrol
attendant robbed me!! Shamelessly, without batting an eyelash, and just like that let me drive off with and empty
tank, now how fair is that? Ok, I know I know, it happens everyday and blah blah blah, but this is my petrol station!!
I would drive halfway across town just to fuel up there (of course it has nothing to do with the fact that they also
have the cheapest fuel in town, nothing at all, honest, the fuel attendants there just do it for me, I mean, with the
car and all…), and then they do this to me? To me?!

Eh, anyway, that is beside the point, I was saying something about me being in a parking lot and
- oh yeah, do you have any idea how good the bypass is for some of us chaps? I mean, Wandegeya to
Ntinda in ten minutes!! Now that is something!! Of course you still have to deal with a few things – I
mean, the other day I saw a bajaj guy knock a cow, I mean seriously, it almost looked like he aimed for
the poor animal’s-aiee, crazy lady found me!! Guess that’s what I get for trying to hide out in the same
parkin lot… and it looks like she brought along her brother… um, wait, no, sister? Yikes, I am so out
of here!!

So here I am, sitting in a parking lot, an empty one this time - how many times have I started writing this article I
wonder – eeh, that’s not important. You know, I keep trying to tell you what I’m doing in this place but you never
stay long enough to listen, or in this case read far enough down, I’m starting to think you don’t really care!! Oh,
you read this far down cuz you’re actually curious? Funny, I never considered that!

Well, I am – just so you know, there are no parking attendants here. Or hefty ladies armed with
crowbars and the like so nothing is going to interrupt me, well, nothing I can think of right now. So
buckle up (yeah yeah, I know you’re probably thinking “finally!!” you know, with all the eye-rolling to
make sure I don’t miss the sarcasm) and prepare for the ride.
Oh, phone call, hang on a moment, I really have to take this, the workzine doesn’t exactly pay yet you
know.
Ah, there you are, still awake. Um, ok, I know it was a long phone call but I really really had to take it, one of those
make or break things. But I’m here now, in this lovely secluded spot that is slowly getting darker so no one will be
able to see me to bother me… wait a second, that’s not such a good thing… what happens if that shifty eyed fellow
who’s been walking past picks up the courage to do something drastic!! There is no one to call for help around
here… maybe I should move; at least in the other parking lot the attendants could have helped me against the lady,
here…
Oh no, the chap’s coming back!! What am I to do what am I to do… (okay, so I know it’s a really strange time for an
aside, possible impending doom and all, but I just realized I have a particular writing style!! Cool, that means I have
a signature style that no one can take away from me!!)
Where was i? oh yeah, in the middle of being terrified… I’m not pulling this off very well, am I? *Sigh” and I’m
supposed to be a creative writer. Till next time I suppose.

By Brian B. Coutinho
<the wirter has a thing for police women
or they have athing for him and his car >

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

15
Prose and Poetry
Wasted Years
I never did care one single bit what I Did
All my shortcomings I cautiously Hid
And from the truth I often Slid
Never sure whether to be at the Fore, Back or
Mid
Like an unsure Astronaut praying for God
Speed
The days had hitherto slowly faded away
The seconds never willing to Stay
And the minutes never ready to Play
And so I blindly went Astray
But now I dearly and painfully Pay
All the nice things left Unsaid
All the outstanding bills left Unpaid
All the Angel wings left Unspread
All the yearning Souls left Unfed
All these things now make me Afraid
In this life that lies under the Sun,
Let not pleasures be all that you Yearn
Don’t waste time having a lot of Fun
Where people walk, My son, You Run
Then your success will have Begun
Bernard Ewalu Olupot
P.R.O Voice Communication (U) Ltd
13 Jan 2010
Extinction
Her makeup is her best friend,
Her coat her closest confidant,
And her scented condom pack her most trusted
keeper.
Her lipstick is her identity and when it’s red she’s
fierce
And when it’s pink she’s vulnerable
Her extensions are her pride and her false eye
lashes her joy
Her poodle is her fiercest ally and her age her
biggest flaw
Her face is her occupation and her heels her status
His pocket is his retreat,
His car his religion and his position his master
His suit is his identity and his pay cheque his
summation
His bottle is his cure and the bar tender his
therapist
His keys are his legacy and his reflection his true
love
His ambition is his downfall and his appetite his
demise
Surrounded by adorers and avoided by foes
They are more alone than the solitary prisoner
Their lives are a meaningless game of make believe
They are merely jobs to one another,
He is her reputation and she is his proof of
manhood
Beyond that there’s no love, no purpose but
reproduction
No conviction, no stimulation but obsolescence
Yet they smile, yet they laugh and make love
No wonder they cry, no wonder they lie
Life is a disease and their infidelity the symptom
by Mark Abraham
www.workzine.com
 16
Prose and Poetry
continued
Return to Love
Why muffle nature’s cause
For a second chance?
To heal a soul returning to light plus
Bespeaking an impending course
Predetermined in time and space
That this voguish emotion may win benevolence
Explaining such a remarkable science!
“The Science of Love”
That protects humanity twice
As much…
And warms the rousing soul thrice
As such…

Muhumuza Kenneth Ezra

Four Hands
Look into these hands as you
would this face
Stare at them like you would
I still feel your sweat dripping down on me
this pretty face
They really long to touch
I still feel the fire burn deep down in my
To touch and produce a
wonderful creation
If only your hands moved as
do mine
We would make a perfect
creature
Four hands - Shall we use
them?
Pompella Agalo
Sad Happiness
I remember it like it was Last Night
All the passion, loving and longing
I hear your voice whisper in my ear
And I still see your wonderful body
soul
And though my body can’t be with you
My soul travels with you; everywhere
And even as I go to bed alone
On this dark cold sad and dull night
I smile with pride and joy deep inside
For I know you are waiting for m
Waiting for me to come join you
Then we will carry on with our game
The Game we started a while back
A while back when you still Breathed
Kyomushana Carol

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

17

T HE ABYSS IN MY SOUL

Sounds drift past my ear

echoes of laughter
whispers of mischief

Yet deep down in the alley

the dragon broods
evil lurks in every corner

Darkness engulfs the only

light above this abyss
and the shadows consume all

The weight of troubles anew

floods this empty void
and if it is not for believing,
then what else?

Fire scorches the skin to shreds

and the bruises and burns
seem but an eternity of pain

Oh if only to quench this thirst

one would live but seven more days
though life here is a million light-years
of death!

Marie Blue

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 18

MUSIC REVIEW :
I LOOK to YOU

2 009 was supposed to mark the

year when two of musics most endearing icons

,made a comeback. Micheal Jackson, “King of

Pop”, and Whitney Houston, “the Voice” made

news in their own way. MJ passed just before

launching his comeback tour yet that provided

a platform for him to be the best selling artist of the year. All his albums were sold out in weeks and his memory , despite being

smeared , was extolled in death. Whitney had endured almost twenty years of drug addiction and a violent unhealthy marriage to

former king of RnB Booby brown. Dumping both bad habits, she released her first album of new material in six years.

Her album “I look to you ” was released in septemebr amidst much media hype and pomp. Debuting at number 1, it had

sold over two millon copies . It is a tribute to her fans, family and God. The thing that comes to mind when you listen to the

music is “who is this trying to sing like Whintey Houston?” the album was recorded while the artist was still trying to recover her

warmth. The album contains 11 tracks. Retro in nature, dance anthems and two soft ballads. The title track “I look to you” penned

by R.Kelly is a soft gospel number that could double as a mellow love song . “I didn’t know my strength “ is an inspiring ballad

that has become a radio staple.

The Alicia Keys produced “Million Dollar Bill” is so far the biggest hit off the album and is a groovy old school dance

number that sets the feet on fire. The Akon “Like I never left ” duet was the teaser number off the album. “Worth it” , “for the

lovers” and “nothing but love “ are fan favourites that many are calling for to be released as the next singles. Yet its in the cover

of Leon Russel’s “A song for you” that one feels Whitney really coming through. She exercises her range and vocal strength in

this piano driven slow starting club banger. The album is a decent comeback effort from the most talented female artist of all

time and is good re-introduction to the music world. The tour in support of the album kicked off in Moscow in December and is

already sold out. Her recent live performances have shown Whitney prove that her voice is back to the max.

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

19
YOUR PLAYLIST
1. Rebel- Lecrae
2. Let the waters rise- Mike’s Chair
3. Forgive me – Group 1 Crew
4. How To save a life- The Fray
5. Empty me- Chris Sligh
6. Give me your eyes- Brandon Heath
7. Never going back to OK- The Afters
8. We all- Rush of Fools
9. By your side – Tenth Avenue North
10. Lost get found- Britt Nicole
11. Don’t waste your life- Lecrae
12. Livin’ the Life- Group 1 Crew
13. Something’s missing- Godz Image
14. The motions- Mathew West
15. Wherever we go- News Boys
Send in your list of your favourite 15
songs , we will publish it and give you a
Cd with that playlist or any other CD you
may want
peter mugisa
13 Jan 2010
TOP 10 EXCUSES FOR
FALLING ASLEEP AT YOUR
DESK
1. “They told me at the blood bank
this might happen.”
2. “I wasn’t sleeping, I was trying to
pick up contact lens without hands.”
3. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating
on the mission statement and
envisioning a new paradigm!”
4. “Amen”
5. “This is just a 15 minute power-
nap like they raved about in the last
time management course you sent me
to.”
6. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the
liquid paper”
7. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga
exercise to relieve work related stress.”
8. “This is one of the seven habits of
highly effective people!”
9. “Boy, that cold medicine I took last
night just won’t wear off!”
10. “Darn! Why did you interrupt me?
I had almost figured out a solution to
our biggest problem.”
www.workzine.com
 20

Response In our December issue<WZ9>, we had an article entitled “The Shrink is In.”
The article below is a response to that article—Ed

You say we are nothing more than a bunch of primates. Mind you…we
to the are a special people created in God’s image. I wonder where people get
that idea that we are some sort of ape which has evolved into the person
we are now. Evolution remains a theory in crisis because the species that
are supposed to have linked man to ape have yet to be discovered. The
Shrink indoctrination that we have endured as children is that which has also been
put on us by our SST teachers that we are the remnants of Zinjathropus. I
disagree and its time to go back in to history and trace our roots.

Then again you mention that life has no meaning.

“Would it not be strange if a universe without purpose accidentally created humans who are so obsessed with
purpose?”- Sir John Templeton asks.

You say that there is no one above the sky and that you have not met that person. It still does not rule
out the fact that there could be someone up there in the sky. Think about the man called Jesus. Historical
evidence points to him being crucified and rising from the dead. In fact, there are so many eye witnesses to his
resurrection starting from the women at the tomb to his disciples. The bible also mentions in 1 Corinthians 15
that he appeared to more than 500 people at the same time. Then there is Paul who was the chief persecutor
of the church. He writes in 1 Corinthians 15 that “I met this risen Jesus on the way to Damascus.” Believe me
when I m telling you that this is not a fairy tale. We are not talking Aesop’s Fables here. Simply follow where
the historical evidence takes you and you will be amazed at your findings. The message from history is simple:
there was a man who claimed to be the son of God, who died on a cross and resurrected. He also said he will be
coming back to judge the living and the dead.

Talk about the discovery of DNA by Sir Francis Crick, nothing more complex has been discovered since. It
is impossible for the protein molecules of the DNA cell to have formed together by chance as some scientists
would suggest. The talk of a ‘prebiotic soup’ from which all macro molecules, proteins and nucleic acids
originated from remains a myth. The skeptics are yet to come up with an explanation for how information got
into biological matter by natural means.

Truth is, we know less and less about our universe because we do not seek answers to the fundamental
questions like why are we are here. I am not talking about a religion which gives me a definition for life and
therefore we get comfort in some superstition or sorcery. Rather I grow in my faith and in all the overwhelming
evidence that points towards an intelligent being. The one who created Heaven and earth. The same one who I
cannot completely fathom but in whom I gain greater knowledge of and from whom I derive my purpose.

So life to anyone out there will never make sense until you get the manufacturer’s manual. It’s like trying to use
a shaving machine to eat a meal. I don’t know how far you will get but you are surely going mess up the entire
experience at the dinner table.

The choice is yours. Don’t waste your life……..

Peter Mugisa <the writer does not like shrinks >

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

21

Know Your Rights

EXTRACTS FROM THE (MAINTENANCE OF LAW & ORDER )

ORDINANCE , 2006—KCC

4. (1) b. a person shall not beat a drum unless he or she is in possession

or a permit issued by the council

Work related rights will be back in the next issue—Ed

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 22

Darrel Bristow-Bovey, South Africa’s most famous plagiarist wrote an

article (at least we think he wrote it) about the continuity
announcers on TV that I read recently. In this article he (or someone
else) said:

I
have always been weirdly fond of continuity
announcers, Continuity
announcers were our first local TV celebrities. I was
downright fond
of Ashley Hayden, Peter Ndoro, Marius Roberts; they had
a glamour and a presence bigger than their actual jobs.
By contrast, over on SABC3, despite having worked the
Monday shift for a mighty long time, that quasi-Australian
Irene Bester still manages to pronounce Frazier as “Fray-
zee-a”, rather than “Fray-zha”. I don’t get it. Do the station
executives not watch her? None of her friends? Has no one
ever set himself or herself the task of correctly pronouncing
“Frasier” in
front of her until she takes the tip?”
We, as a nation, have reached that level of technological
When I read this, my mind was immediately launched
development that allows us to have lucid and intelligent
into wistfulmemories of my childhood. It occurred, this
radio presenters, especially on Sanyu, Radio One, Vision
childhood of which I speak, in outside countries and not in
Voice (yes, I said Vision Voice) and parts of Capital,
Uganda. During my childhood, Uganda had no television
but the ability to select TV personalities who can speak
worth remarking upon, and by the time the first station
intelligently in English has eluded our broadcasting firms
worth the electricity came on air, I was old enough to
almost completely. I could list those who only look like
impregnate others.
TV presenters: they have all the poise, posture and lipstick
of TV presenters. But they sound like frontrunners in a
No, I was in outside countries, such as Kisumu, where
gibberish competition, unable to construct full lucid
they hadexcellent television, and all of it was announced,
sentences and even less able to say anything in their pidgin
continuously, by charming, well-dressed, attractive people,
that isn’t stupid—I could list them, but it would take less
some of them so charming, well-dressed and attractive that
time to just list the five Ugandan TV show hosts who don’t
we often watched them to the end of their presentation,
sound like they are going to introduce the virus dumbss.
even if we had no interest in the programme they were
exe to your television just by talking. Well, one of them
presenting (Mambo Leo or something like that).
quit, so that makes four.
By the time I left Kenya permanently there were no more
Do you guys remember Martias? The kid on K’la Wired,
announcers. Instead KTN (none of us cool kids watched
who didn’t just flame, he inferno’ed? Martias was so
KBC anymore) had replaced them with flashy graphics and
outrageously effeminate that he made the whole bevy of
instead of pretty people smiling we saw the station’s logo
Miss Uganda contestants look like a rugby team, but I think
swirl around the screen for a bit, then settle, like a dove
if you had given him a chance you could have become used
above a messiah, over the rising name of the programme
to it, but he did not deserve that chance. Because he was
coming next. I can’t believe we used to watch Hangin with
such a bad presenter, he had to be disposed of. Martias is
Mr Cooper, but that is for another rant.
the kind of guy who could run through a crowd at a Juliana
show asking people, “so, do you like Juliana?” And then
We don’t have announcers on Ugandan TV any more
one of the people he asks would reply. “Yes, I do. That is
either, even though we only had them for the shortest of
why I wrote this song for her.”
whiles and, though Kenyans can mourn the passing of
“And what is your name?” Martias would then ask.
the career, round here we say good riddance, do not bring
“Silver Kyagulanyi.”
them back. We do not want to encourage more people to
speak on television.

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

23

POSITIVE – J onathan works as a banker on Kampala Road. He is 34 years old.

He is married to Naomi and they have two delightful kids and a
wonderful middle class life. But Jonathan is busy today. Normally, he heads

Jonathan’s
home at 5 pm, gets stuck in the Kampala traffic jam for about an hour and
arrives home at 6 pm. Today things are different. His boss has informed him
that the West African investors they had been expecting all morning would

story
be arriving at Entebbe at 3 pm. The important negotiations that had been
planned would therefore commence around 4.30 pm. Since Jonathan would
be coordinating the meeting, he will have to remain at work until late.

“Do you have it with you?” Naomi asked while speaking softly into her
mobile as she collects the kids from school. Jonathan slips his hand into
the inner pocket of his jacket and feels around. “Yes, I do. Thanks. See you
later”. And then he hangs up.

This is Jonathan’s third year on antiretroviral drugs (ARVs.) When he began

taking ARVs , he took his drugs haphazardly. It was only after the doctor
recommended a counseling session that things improved. He discussed his
fears about ARVs. He had heard that ARVs themselves were dangerous and
he felt he was going to die anyway. The counselor dispelled those myths and
reassured him and he began to take his pills regularly and at the correct times.

His health gradually improved and he returned to work. Jonathan was afraid
of telling anyone at work about his HIV status. Although he knew there must
be other ‘corporates’ with HIV, no one had spoken about it openly. In the
corporate world of Uganda you must show no signs of weakness. And so no
one talks about living with HIV. The only time HIV is mentioned is when the
company you work for organizes its corporate social responsibility activities
for the less privileged. HIV is outside, in society. Not in your company.

Unfortunately, the meeting drags till 7.30 pm and little progress is made.
Jonathan keeps checking his watch and his boss frowns at him in a subtle
but pointed manner. Eventually Jonathan excuses himself and goes to the
bathroom. He locks the door first. He brings out the ARV tablet he kept in his
pocket that morning. He smiles to himself. This is his third year of ARVs and
he knows which days to come to work with his evening pill. Suddenly he gets
angry. He remembers that Peter, his boss, is hypertensive and he takes his
pills right in the open yet with HIV medicines it is different. You have to hide.
That way, no one notices.

HIV is a treatable and manageable illness. When people take their medicines
regularly and at the correct times, they are expected to get back to work
and to live long and productive lives. Every year, more and more people are
started on life saving ARVs. While there are many ‘Jonathans’ at work, there
are few organizations in the region with well outlined strategies to support
employees with HIV and ensure that stigma and discrimination at work are
eliminated. However, advocacy to protect the rights of HIV-positive people at
work are underway.

December 1, is World AIDS Day. Every year, the international health

community has the unenviable task of selecting an attractive catch phrase that
is way better than the previous year’s catch phrase. This year, the slogan is ‘I
am living my rights. Stop AIDS, keep the promise’. Jonathan reads the slogan
in the newspaper and smiles to himself. It’s an amusing slogan, he thinks. It
appears that people are taking notice after all.

<Dr Mohammed Lamorde is a doctor

working on several antiretroviral research projects at the
Infectious Diseases Institute, Makerere University >

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 24
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Events
- Milege band plays every Thursday at the Lawns Kololo Uganda
PARTY : Zone7 Mbuya Kampala Uganda is hosting the back to skool party on Monday, 25 January 2010.
Dress code : your old uniform
ART: JIJI SWEET ARTIST SHOWCASE. JAN. 14, 2010. 2ND STREET JAZZ CAFÉ LA, CA, 90018
TO BOOK A SPOT CALL 323-309-1751. 18 AND OVER EVENT. $10.00 AT THE DOOR.
EVENT: 1st Annual FunToronto SNOWBALL FIGHT Saturday, 16 January 2010 ,16:00 - 18:00, Location:
Christie Pitts
GALA : THE CRANE CENTRE’S 3RD ANNUAL GALA Start Time: Monday, 04 January 2010 at 17:25 End
Time: Sunday, 31 January 2010 at 20:25 Location: West Bloomfield, MI. Please call Doreen Dutton at (248)
481-7089 or Sandra Crane at (248) 682-2762 if you are able to help with this project.
EVENT : ‫ ﺕﻕﻭﻝﺍ ﻱﻑ ﺏﺍﺏﺵﻝﺍ ﻩﺕﻑﺍﺽﺕﺱﺍ ﻱﺫﻝﺍ ﺏﺡﻝﺍ ﺓﻑﺱﻝﻑ‬facebook.Start : ‫ ﺱﻱﻡﺥﻝﺍ‬، 07 January 2010 ‫ﻯﻝﻉ‬
‫ ﺓﻉﺍﺱﻝﺍ‬19:00. ‫ ﺕﻕﻭﻝﺍ ﺓﻱﺍﻩﻥ‬: ‫ ﺭﻱﺍﺭﺏﻑ ﺩﺡﺍﻝﺍ‬28 ، 2010 ‫ ﺓﻉﺍﺱﻝﺍ ﻱﻑ‬00: <Philosophy of love hosted by Youth on
facebook.Start Time: Thursday, 07 January 2010 at 19:00. End Time: Sunday, 28 February 2010 at 00:00 >
MEET : The Pay It Forward Foundation Uganda invites you to their weekly meetings at Centenary Park
every Thursday at Kyoto Restaurant at 6pm
CELEBRATE: Join Muhaise James and friends in celebrating the new decade with Mongolian barbeque on
the 15th January. Contact wrkzine@gmail.com or 0791281135 for details

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

25

It’s Your Birthday!

Liz Birungi, Kabarungi Grace J ,
Roger Jin Kataama, Ronald Eyit ,
Martin John Ndawula, Walter Angulo ,
Andrew Ankunda Bwengye , Benni Baruga,
Nabiryo Berna, Frank Kasajja ,

!
ay
Kabakubya Buyinza, Odoch Simon ,
Faith Mirembe, hd Mariam Namukasa,
Emmanuel Lokwiya, Nash Angela,
rt
Kelly Fanch, Diana Nalwoga,
Bi

Susan Namuganyi Ntale , Musimenta Sharon ,

Emily Kamukama, Luwm Daniel,
py

Neil Coutinho, Rwamirego Alfred,

ap

Simon Peter Mafumu , Sylvia Mutabazi

Esther Hadoto, Shillings Simon,
H

Isaac Tinga Mufumbiro , Mary Iye Kanu ,

Joe Chrispin Yawe, Rogers Muhumuza ,
Mark Karamira Karegyesa , Mark Abraham,
Mbabazi Irene, Paul Katandi Obonyo,
Al Kiha, Ekrem Oyar ,
Clara Candiru Amaguru Trevor Tushabe,
Togboa , Malcolm Tony, Ngonzi Henry

13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com

 26

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13 Jan 2010 www.workzine.com