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Juana: Ang Ilaw

Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong.

Grey skies, whistling winds, ravaging rain and underneath it all an emaciated
crying girl is hiding in a broken down shack of a house nestled in the slums of the chaotic
city. With no one to turn to, only sixteen years old orphaned at an early age, a younger
ten-year-old asthmatic brother, Tim and an eighty-year-old grandmother who is on a
verge of a breakdown. Her parents having been chronic smokers died of lung cancer.
Juana has been a drug pusher as well as a user and for almost two years this was the life
that she led. And now she is faced with a crisis if she gives in to prostitution for there are
rampant drug raids and the business is slowing down. She gives in to the trade and there
is no turning back. She looked up at the skies, knelt and prayed Dear God, I am here
seeking You as your child I know that you are with me, and I know that somehow you
hear me praying and that you will help me through the crisis that I am in. I know that this
is a just a test so that someday, I will be able to bear it all. I will be stronger and resilient
amidst the chaos inside and around me. I know you trust me Please forgive me for what
I am about to do, this may not be your will but this is all I can think of.

Juana succumbs to the hidden life of the red districts of the city, during the day drugs are
what she does and every night she stays and make a living as a prostitute. And one
unlucky night, she found herself captured by thugs, tied up and blindfolded, struggling to
break free. She was dumped to a den of addicts where she was used and abused
repeatedly to the point of being a zombie. The place is filled with filth, different people
coming and going but for the prisoner Juana no one will be able to save her but death. She
thought to herself; This was a choice that I made that I thought would help me and my
Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong. 2014

PhilHealth CARES
Krystle Angelie P. Dagdag, RN

family be better but I was wrong I got into a deeper problem, the mud is already up my
chest I am drowning in the quick sand of my own making. I pray that granny and my
brother will find me and forgive me for my deeds. Someday they will understand. No one
else can help her but herself, the decision that must be made. The song Elysian Fields
by Casey Frazer play out in the open If I die give my body to the sun, please dont cry
these field of tears will let me run. The echoes sparsely tell me where to go and Im stuck
between the rain and the snow. I didnt think dying would be so hard I didnt think living
would be so hard If I die let my blood leave a stain

We find our protagonist lying on the floor covered with damp cardboard boxes
made as a makeshift bed, the thick cloud of smoke and the chatter of people around in
shock and on a high of the drugs just taken. Juana lies there clad the skimpiest clothes
with bloodshot eyes, twitching, needle marks all over her arms and saliva coming out
from her mouth. The noise of the chatter dissipates as one of the blurry faces shout aloud
She has ODd (overdosed)!!! another replies Chill, thats nothing. Were on a high
dont mess with our trip dude. Another concerned person shakes her trying to revive her
but to no avail. Juanas mind goes blank but faintly sees the cloud of smoke around her
and the blurred faces of her captors. You can hear the sirens wailing, someone shouts,
The cops are here! Lets go! Shuddering through the rundown shack everybody left but
poor Juana is left unconscious in the floor with the pool of her own saliva. The police go
and search and raid the premises but no ones left but Juana. No pulse, faint breathing
they took her to the nearest hospital for immediate care. The last image she saw was of an
officer carrying her, heard them talking. We need this one in the hospital now. We might
be able to save this one, she might have been a victim of abuse And everything
blacked out.
Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong. 2014

PhilHealth CARES
Krystle Angelie P. Dagdag, RN

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Whilst she was unconscious, her soul floated away as she can see her body from

down there she turns her back and follows the bright light of a tunnel going somewhere
far with the voices of her parents telling her Not now, not here. We love you but in time
we will be together. Whispers echoing in the vast space of the unknown but the light as
her guide her thoughts race through Am I dead? Where am I? Who are you? What am I
doing here? All in the state of confusion she cries out HELP! She ran in a state of
panic and reaches the middle of the road and the light centers to her and an omnipotent
voice speaks Juana, my dear child it is not time, this is your chance to make the wrongs
right, all you need is a second chance. I love you. Go back now while you can. The light
suddenly goes out and she falls through the abyss shouting Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Im falling.
HELP!!!

Sobbing, Tim her brother prayed, Dearest Lord, spare ate Juana from your
wrath she did everything for me and grandma, let her live and take me. Please let her
live, she is the best sister that one can ask for. I love her please I beg of you And her
grandma looked up and clasped her hands as if begging and said, Take me instead not
our precious Juana, I am of age let her be now for she still has a whole life ahead of her.
God, I know you are there please head our request Juana suddenly wakes up, she
opens her eyes the blurry white light, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep sounds of cardiac
monitors, and silhouettes of people around, slowly her eyes began to adjust to the
environment, at the right side of her bed she finds her brother crying and her grandmother
sitting beside him in a comforting embrace. Though still weak she hugged them both and
cried, for it was death that she had coming but the chance to live again is not to be
wasted. I may not be well now but I am alive, I would not will these things to happen I
again I love you both with my life. I thank God for saving me from the life I chose and not
Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong. 2014

PhilHealth CARES
Krystle Angelie P. Dagdag, RN

abandoning me and for the chance to see this life fulfilled. She exclaimed these heartfelt
words in sorrow and regret yet with hope she sees the pathway to the light. The End Is
Where I Begin plays, Its the end where I begin Sometimes we dont learn from our
mistakes and sometimes we have no choice but to walk away
Juana had herself checked in for rehab and with the help of a facility she was able
to regain herself. Ten years down the road, She went on to finish a degree in business
while being a working student and with some of her earnings while she was a student and
with the help of the generous people from the rehab facility started a small company
called H.O.P.E (Home of People for Equity) where she employs and teaches men and
women who have been in abusive relationships or those trying to take their lives to the
right track from being addicts or others trying to stop habits of drinking or smoking,
basically people who want to help themselves be better are employed here, they are
treated fairly and that this has been one of their stepping stones in their re-integration
back to society. Tim still at school followed his sisters path became a working student
and helped her work out and a few years after their grandmother died due to natural
causes, in peace knowing that she left her grandchildren able to take care of themselves.
While walking towards the podium to speak at the assembly of the people from
HOPE, she still did not know what had happened or where she was that fateful day but
she was at peace. And she spoke these words,
I thought all my life I would be stuck here and once I go in there is no turning
back but I still believe in love and to hope for everything will be better. I have the power
to change my own destiny; I can be someone I want to be not the person that I fell into.
My life is precious to everyone with me; I am without them, incomplete. Living this life is
not easy but you have the choice to clean up your act, I chose rid myself of drugs,
smoking and other vices, I am happy now and so here I am in front you alive and well but
Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong. 2014

PhilHealth CARES
Krystle Angelie P. Dagdag, RN

a few years back I was on the verge of death but I had a chance to change, and that I had
the power to divert the course of an unsettling life of drugs and ill habits to the light. I
can be better for myself and for others. I am now better and so can you. You can do it!

The people were in tears and had a standing ovation as Juana finished her speech.

Sometimes we need not a multitude of people to see us through but one soul is all we
need who able to take notice and cares about another. One is not small but a one is can be
the only person that can change the course of an entire lifetime of peoples.

One is not only one as a singular, but if another would come to become one and united
for a cause to change or begin a course, then one is a collective of many ones.

----------------------------------------------- THE END -----------------------------------------------

Juana, ang tatag mo ay tatag natin sa pagbangon at pagsulong. 2014

PhilHealth CARES
Krystle Angelie P. Dagdag, RN