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Track 1
Track 1
Track 1
Narrator: This is Hetalia Fantasia, a place where people from around the world can
adventure in a beautiful world and experience
fairy tale-like adventures. It's still just a run of the mill MMO game, though. Today's story
involves our usual cast of
characters gathered in this game.
America: Hetalia Fantasia is currently running a double exp event! Also, any monsters you
destroy have a 25% chance of
dropping a colored hamburger! Collect all 7 rainbow burgers before the event ends!
Japan: Successfully collecting all 7 rainbow burgers will allow you to trade them for a
bunny ears headband!
Germany: Seriously, who are you trying to appeal to here with this event!?
Everyone: Hetalia Fantasia 2!
Narrator: Now then, we begin our story in the very first town. Everyone seems to still be
here. I wonder what they're doing?
Track 2 : "Chapter One - The Summoner Caught in a Trap and The Ultimate Gunner"
England: All right, 9 a.m on the dot! I'm first here again, I see. Can't say I'm surprised,
though. Although, I don't
think he realizes that this is the 23rd time I've arrived first for these sort of things.
*England's Summon makes noises*
England: Is that for me? You're so adorable, you know?
*Summon makes happy noises*
Narrator: Chapter One - The Summoner Caught in a Trap and The Ultimate Gunner!
England: I'm only playing this game so much because I really do enjoy training and raising
you!
*Summon noises*
England: I'm really proud seeing you this strong and big!
*Summon noises*
England: Huh?
America: Yup! I didn't invite them.
England: I don't want to hear what comes next. You're probably thinking of something bad,
aren't you?
America: That's a big of course! Why do you think I only invited you?
England: You came here so that I can cast tie you up and force you to watch
"Do*beep -e Explorer" for 24 hours straight, right?
America: Ack, anything but that!
England: Good! America's Weakness #238: "Do*beep* -e Explorer".
America: Geez, you really are horrible, you know that?
America: *gets a mic* Testing 1, 2! *clears throat* I have a very important annoucement to
make now, so listen
carefully!
Engleon: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
America: Ladies and gentleman!
England: Argh!
America: Yay, can you hear me, England?
England: You're breaking my eardrums, idiot!
America: I, America, challenge you, England! Let's duel, England! If you win, I'll make your
stats just as high as mine!
England: Ahh... ummm... Why?
America: Because I want to.
England: I-I see...
*summon noise*
England: Wait, who the hell would accept a challenge like that!? Didn't you say that you
increased your stats to
mountain destroyer levels!? If I accept, I'll die in one hit!
America: If you put your mind to it, you can do anything!
England: THAT'S NOT THE PROBLEM, YOU WANKER! I can't even kill a sl*beep* or a pix*beep*
now!
America: Go for it!
England: Don't, "Go for it!" me! Rubbish to this! I'm not gonna participate in a contest with
these ridiculous odds!
I'm logging out!
*error*
America: Ha ha ha! Sorry to disappoint you, but you can't log out now! If you log out now,
all of "those" files and
"those" pictures on your computer will automatically be uploaded and posted on my
homepage!
England: That's illegal! Wait, did you see anything!?
America: Ha ha ha! I never knew such embarrassing files existed!
England: Damn you...!
America: WHEEEE! Now I can duel you! May the best man win!
England: I am going to your house tomorrow morning and kicking your ass!
*walks*
England: Ok, so I know what I get if I win, but what happens if I lose?
America: That's a good question... I'll think about it while we're dueling!
England: Screw tomorrow! How about I get on a jet and kick your ass now?!
*summon noise*
America: Okay, let's go!
*Italy laughs*
Iceland: You're lost, right Italy? I know where the Information & Guide Center is so
would you like me to take you there?
Italy: Really? Yay! Grazie, Iceland!
Puffin: The Information & Guide Center!? Didn't you just say, "We can find the place without
going to that place with all
the photos." a few minutes ago, ya punk!?
Iceland: Shut up.
Italy: V-vee~. I felt so helpless alone, but with the three of us, I feel so much more
confident!
Iceland: You're including Puffin?
Puffin: Hehehe~! You're a real boss, bro!
Narrator: And thus, the two lost players, plus the puffin, embarked on a journey to find
"The Information & Guide Center
for Lost Beginners".
rack 4: "An Unusual Trio and The Skillful Tradesman"
Narrator: Chapter 3 - "An Unusual Trio and The Skillful Tradesman"
*Horror sound*
Narrator: We begin this chapter in front of a very scary dungeon. However, the many
adventurers exploring this dungeon
also it gives it a bustling atmosphere!
*pause*
Narrator: Oh? It seems France has logged in.
France: Hehehe, woohoo! I'm finally first! That means I don't get to hear that annoying
England say, "Hmph, why the hell
are you so late!? I came here 45 minutes ago!" Hurrah! Since I'm first, I'll say something
really cool and magnifique
when they arrive!
*France laughs*
France: *sparkles* If you kept a parisienne (female native or resident of Paris) waiting this
long, she would've
returned long ago.
France: Hmm... That lacks elegance.
Russia: Hi ya!
France: Wait, I got the perfect line!
France: *sparkles* You didn't need to worry about me for The Seine's calming, flowing
waters kept me company
until all of you made your arrival. Huh, what!?
Russia: Hi there! You're late.
France: Huh, what? You were here, Russia!?
Russia: I've been waiting, you know. I waited a long time, but no one came so I thought I got
left out of the group.
America and England arrive on time most of the time, right? When I wondered what I was
going to do then, I decided to
go somewhere and I peacefully received some items from my new friends.
France: You probably used that pole in your hand, right? Did you?
Russia: I just held it. I didn't actually use it. America's just awful for calling us here and
ends up being late.
He's 130 minutes late, just like you are, France!
France: Ah, uh, I was busy with a strike. Still, it's really rare to see punctual England and
America late like this.
Russia: Hehe~. If the two of them arrive anytime soon, I'll let you knock England on the
head.
France: Oh, that sounds... like a pretty good offer.
Russia: Right?
China: Hey, you two! You should've greeted me when you came!
Russia: Then you should start by sitting up straight instead of stooping in front of your
computer.
China: Ack! My back is just fine. I am living a healthy lifestyle.
France: You've acquired a substantial amount of money in this game, right China? I just have
to ask, how much do you actually have
saved up?
China: Hehehe. You've finally asked THE question! That's right! In fact, I'm the second
richest player in the game! I have enough money to
produce an unimaginable amount of the most used items in the game! I even have
warehouses filled with rare items!
France: Seriously!? R-really!?
China: Yup! In fact, I have 10 warehouses filled with them! The warehouses might even be
big enough to build a town inside!
France: Woah. That's enough money to make me envious.
China: Playing online games is one of my specialties, after all! I'd probably be ranked CEO
of an online game if they had
a leaderboard! With my incredible focus and my network, there's nothing I can't tackle
online!
Russia: You're also a really good team player! I really want to be better friends with you~!
China: I think if I did that, you'd just show up in my home of your own accord. Well, all that
aside, I'm making
plenty of profits in real life and in game! With this much Heta, I can buy so much Hel*beep*
ty stuff! I'll buy so much snacks,
and then when a holiday comes up, I'll sleep all day and munch on those snacks while
watching some TV! Also, I'll mail order
that one fascinating product I saw in one of America's promotion things! Ohh, I just can't
wait to be surrounded by them! I'll create a room filled with
all of my favorite things and I'm going to smile so much~!
France: Hold on a minute! Even if you do make all that profit, won't all the money go
straight back to the developers!?
Russia: Finding faults with a person's happiness only leads to a fallen snowman, France!
China: Now then, let us go to more dungeons, and grind and get more items! I will become
richer!
France: I wonder if this is really one way to enjoy playing a game? I'm an old man so maybe
I just don't understand
what's fun with the kids these days.
Russia: oh, that's right! Hey, China! Would you mind doing me a favor?
China: Hmm?
Russia: Do you think you can forge a weapon that matches me out of these items? Can you?
China: Aiya... I haven't seen these items before. But worry not! Guangdong and Liaoning
can make anything
out of any item! They do it all the time!
France: Woah, that's a pretty nice item you have there! Where'd you get that from? Did you
get this item while you were
waiting for us?
Russia: Yup! I was just thinking that paying America to play this game was stupid, and then I
just clicked around and found it!
China: Wooaahh, even I haven't seen this! Where can you get this item?
Russia: Hmm? It's nearby. Would you like me to show you it?
France: Yeah, let's go! Knowing America and England, they're probably arguing which one of
them makes better movies.
Russia: Wahh~, the three of us going on an adventure, huh? I'm getting excited!
China: Itemmmmsssss~!
*pause then dungeon music plays*
China: What's with this place? I don't see any other players around. It's really not unusual to
see at least one or two
players hanging around a dungeon.
Russia: Hehe! Maybe I'm the first one to reach this dungeon?
France: Looks like it... Seeing a dungeon this empty without players, this place either has
to be a premium pay dungeon, or
this dungeon isn't suppose to be playable yet.
Russia: Now, now France. There's no way I'd hack to gain access to this dungeon! It's just a
regular dungeon just like
all the others.
France: Then that's good, but that sort of thing happening is probable in England's home...
Still, you've
got some sharp eyes to discover this place!
Russia: Hehe~! I did "tinker" with my computer a bit though!
France: YOU DEFINITELY DID SOMETHING BAD, DIDN'T YOU!?
Russia: Everyone does some "tinkering" sometimes. Right, China?
China: Uhhh, tinkering is kind of scary to do.
*walks*
China: But if this dungeon is filled with items no one has, I'll be able to sell exclusive stuff
to everyone! I'm burning up!
Just wait, I'm gonna conquer this rickety castle!
France: Is everything going to be all right even if I have low defense? If things go wrong, I'm
going on strike, you know?
Russia: Everything is under control! You don't need to worry that much!
*opens door*
Monster 1: NGOH, it's Mr. Russia!
Monster 2: A very, very good day to you, Russia, sir! We won't do anything to you so please
don't do anything back!
Monster 3: We're really sorry! Please don't make us dig, please! We're SORRY, SORRY, SORRY,
SORRY!
Russia: Yaay, everyone is buddy buddy!
China: HERE TOO! IN HERE TOO! Items, items! Heta, Heta, Heta, Heta! So much Heta to
make! With this, I'm definitely
the richest player in the game!
*pause then ghostly sounds*
France: All right! Today, I shall examine, grade, and check the aestheic and sensiblity of
every nook and cranny in this wonderful
place~!
China: Well then, I'll check every nook and cranny in this place until I find all the items in
this dungeon! Ei, ei, OHHHHH, ARU!
Russia: Hehehe~! When I see them work like this, it feels like a really functional and
friendly party! I'm part of it too.
Right?
Monster: I can see it! I CAN REALLY SEE IT, SIRRRRRR!
Narrator: It looks like these three are having fun playing in there.
Track 5: "This this is Knot our Lost." *Title is intentionally spelled this way.*
Denmark: All right! The two of us can do this somehow! Let's kick that boss's tail straight
into next week!
Norway: Like that's happening. We don't even have a healer in our party.
Denmark: Let's get a move on, brother! The path to the unknown is waitin' just for us!
Norway: *sigh* And the fool isn't even bothered at all.
Denmark: Our battle's just gettin' started!
Narrator: Chapter 4 - "This this is Knot our Lost."
Japan: Italyyy! Are you able to see this messageee?
Germany: It's no good. Everywhere we go, there's no reply to it.
Japan: Hmm... We have been searching for so long, and we still have not found him... If we
were able to receive even just
a bit of information about someone acting like Italy, we would not have searched through
???: GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
*Germany and Japan gasp and run towards scream*
Japan: A-are you all right?
???: AHHHHHHHH!
Germany: Hey, what's wrong!?
???: GUWAAAAH!
Japan: Ah!
Germany: Huh? Denmark!?
Denmark: GRAAARG- Oh hey, if it ain't Germany and Japan! Whoa, what's up! You two are
playing this game too, huh? How's your
side of the bridge going, Germany?
Japan: Goodness, what a sudden recovery!
Germany: You were playing this too, Denmark? The bridge's construction is going smoothly.
*sighs* It feels sort of odd to
play an online game and you encounter all these acquaintances. In any case, are you hurt in
any way?
Denmark: Huh? Oh yeah, I'm as fit as a fiddle, like always! Oh yeah, you should hear this! I
was fighting this huuuge enemy
just now, and then when I hit it, there was a "BANG!" and a "BOOM!" and then I was like,
"WTF HAPPENED!?" Maaan, I even
surprise myself on how strong I am in this game!
Japan: Haha... Ummm, I am truly sorry.
Denmark: Why're you apologizin'?
Japan: I am really sorry.
Germany: I'm really sorry too.
Denmark: Huh? Huh?
Norway: Brother...
Denmark: Huh?
Norway: I'm painfully shy around strangers so I want to go...
Denmark: Really? In other words, you just wanna have a two man party with m*Norway chokes Denmark*
Denmark: Gack... Don't pull my neckt- *makes choking noises*
Norway: Equip all of your cursed items right now.
*Denmark chokes*
Germany: Huh... What kind of a scenario is this?
Japan: Norway... I see that you are also playing this game too!
Norway: Mm. I see you're playing this too, Japan.
Japan: I am one of the producers and developers of this game.
Norway: Perfect timing. You got a command that'll let me put a leash on my brother?
Japan: I humbly apologize. I shall see what I can do.
Norway: ...Tch.
Denmark: Uncle... Uncle...!
*Norway lets go*
Denmark: *wheezes* Hahaha, Maan, you really are painfully shy.
Norway: No one's shy here.
Germany: Have you regained composure? If you have, I have a question to ask. Have you
seen Italy?
Denmark: Oh hey, we're in the same boat! I've got ask the same question to! You seen Sveer, Sweden, Finland, or Iceland
around?
Germany: He replied to my question... with another question!?
Japan: He is... so brave!
Norway: No, no. He's just a mindless imbecile.
Denmark: Huh?
Japan: Unfortunately, I have not seen the three people you are searching for.
Germany: Yeah, that's right. I haven't seen those three either.
Denmark: Really? What a darn shame! Ah man.
Norway: Oh rats.
Denmark: I haven't seen Italy around either.
Germany: I see. Thank you.
Denmark: Hehe!
Japan: If I may ask, were you two gentlemen in the middle of completing a quest?
Denmark: H-huh? O-oh yeah! We were just gonna kick some boss tail!
Norway: We're lost!
Denmark: W-we are not lost! It's not like we're really lost or anything, ya know!
Norway: I go and follow this guy's lead and we both end up lost.
Denmark: W-w-w-w-WE ARE NOT LOST! No matter which way I look at it, we're the ones
looking for the others here!
Japan: T-they certainly seem to be a merry duo, Mr. Germany.
Germany: If the five of them get together, this would be even more dreadful
Japan: It would seem like it.
Norway: We're losssttt~, and it's your fault, stupid brotherrrrr~.
Germany: How'd you hear a bird from that? That sounds like... America.
Japan: I-I believe you are correct. It seems that we are hearing quite a few screams today.
Germany: That yell doesn't seem to be one of his normal ones. Let's go check on him.
Japan: Yes, that would be best.
Denmark: Gotta say though, bud, that weapon of yours is pretty rad!
Norway: It looks just like how my brother's small toe would look like if it was broken.
*pause*
America: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *cries*
Japan: What is wrong, Mr. America? Your face seems like you are grieving for someone.
America: J-Japan... Japan... I... I... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Japan: Are you all right?
Germany: What's wrong? What happend to you, America?
America: ENGLAND, YOU IDIOT!
Germany: I think I can imagine what happened now.
Japan: Indeed.
America: AHHHHH, why did this happen!? This is wrong! This is just plain wrong!
Japan: Now! Now! Look, here's some candy that old ladies always carry with them but you
don't know where they buy them from.
America: Ahh, seriously, where do they buy this stuff?
Japan: Have you calmed down now, Mr. America?
America: Ahh... Yeah, a little.
Germany: What kind of comfort method was that?
*click*
*Monster gets angry*
Iceland: Huh?
*Monster approaches*
Iceland: H-huh!?
Italy: Waaahhh! This was a monster!? That's so awful!
*Iceland falls*
Iceland: My leg... he grabbed my leg.
Puffin: Hey! I'm talkin' to you, rotten bastard! Let go of him, f%#&*^!
Italy: Waaaahhh! Let go of Iceland's leg!
*Monster gets angry*
Italy: Nothing's working! Do you know how to destroy this monster?
Iceland: D... D... Denmark always defeated any monster that appeared. O-oww.
Italy: Umm... Umm...Just wait. There has to be a button in this jumbled up mess that we
can use! You look too, Iceland!
Ice*ding*
System: Iceland seems to have lost consciousness, both online and offline.
Italy: ICELANNNNNDDDD!
*pause then pointer sound effect*
Italy: There it is! There's the attack button!
Italy: Eat this! Italy Punch! Italy Kick! Boot-to-the-head Kick!
System: Adorapheign* takes 1 point of damage.
Puffin: Damn, this is one bad mothershocker! I don't wanna fly away! Better hold on tight,
punk!
Iceland: Don't... order me around. Ah!
*pause then after effects of mountain blow up technique*
*America weeps*
Germany: Did he just... blow up a mountain!?
Denmark: Woohoo! Awesomeeee! Encoreeeee!
Norway: Nice going with the cheats there.
America: What did you think of that?
Japan: It is very... big.
America: This was suppose to be a world destroying skill but I didn't want to crash the
servers!
Japan: Do you feel better now, Mr. America?
America: A little.
Italy: Is it over? Vee... That was scary.
Iceland: Wait, that annoying and huge message box that appeared after the mountain blew
up...
Puffin: Only one guy'd do that.
Italy: Ve?
Iceland: DAAAANNNNNN!
Denway: Huh?
Iceland: Nore! Nore!
Italy: Huh, they're here!?
Iceland: Hurry up, Nore! My character's leg is hurt, and my back and finger in real life hurts
too!
Puffin: HEEEEEEYYYYY! HEEEEEEYYYYY! WE'RE HEEEEERRREEEE!
Italy: Vee... Oh!
*pause then music*
America: Thank you for looking at my skill, everyone. I'm gonna clear this dungeon by
myself. Oh, this dungeon will be
playable to everyone in one week, so please try it out when you have the chance.
Japan: Mr. America...
America: Well then, Japan, I'm heading off. Also, if you can, it would be a big help if you
could debug it.
Japan: oh, yes. I shall try.
America: Mm. Thank you. Well, see you...
*America walks off*
Japan: He has left.
Germany: We've seen a rare side of America.
Denmark: Ohhh, Ice! Ice! We finally found ya, Ice! We're here, Ice!
Norway: Thank goodness.
Iceland: Dan! Nore!
Puffin: HEEEEYYYY! WE'REEEEEE RIGHT HEEEERRREEEE!
*pause*
Iceland: *sighs* Where did you guys go? I thought you guys ditched me.
Denmark: Your older brothers were real worried about ya, Ice! I'm happy to see ya safe!
Norway: Are you hurt? I'll use a healing item on you now.
together!
Italy: Mm! Thank you! I'm never gonna separate from the two of you again!
Narrator: And the trio was finally reunited. But Italy's adventure has just begun. Will he be
able to do this?
*The End*
Narrator: Oh yeah, I wonder what happened to America after he entered that dungeon.
America: Ugh... I reached the exit but I'm not happy. The story I made for this dungeon, the
graphics I made for this dungeon,
the music, and the mysteries of this dungeon were all so awesome, but I'm still not happy!
Oh?
England: You're too slow, idiot!
America: Huh!?
*Cliffhanger*