An Alternative Lifestyle: The Filipino

Familys Response to the Call of the

Times
Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J.
Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J. is director of the Center for Family Ministries at the AdMU. He earned an
MA in Pastoral Counseling from the University of Detroit and did doctoral studies in Pastoral
Counseling, Pastoral Research Institute, Palo Alto, SanFrancisco, USA. He is spiritual director to the
Marriage Encounter Foundation and the Foundation for Christian Parenting for Peace and Justice,
Philippines. His recent writings include Political Spirituality: Reflections Before and After Edsa II.

Another Christmas is coming soon. Once again, we will religiously take out from our boxes our
little belens (cribs) to be displayed in the center of our homes. Year after year, we go through the
same ritual. Year after year, we play the same Christmas tunes and sing the same Christmas songs
in front of that same belen. We feel a slight warmth and Christmassy glow in our hearts, which may
even last for some days. And then - what?
Next year, we may go through the experience all over again. The Child in the belen will be the same
Child. He will not have grown a bit. Or more accurately we will not allow the Child to grow. We freeze
the scene. We eternalize the Santo Nio. We deck him with jewels and heavy, embroidered,
suffocating gowns. We overwhelm him with our endless requests in childlike, or is it childish faith.
We make this the most popular devotion in the country.
Through all this, we do much of the talking and much of the pleading before that Child. We may just
be afraid that if we allow him to grow up, he might talk back to us in terms that we do not want to
hear. If we allow him to plead back, he might just plead back with us in ways that we are not ready to
listen to.
As a result, Christmases come and go. But many of us, like that Child in the belen, remain the same.
Many of us hardly change. Hardly grow. And so our nation, this nation entrusted to us by God, is still
where it is, Christian in name, hardly Christian in lifestyle.
In fact, if indeed there has been some changes after hundreds of Christmases the change has been
toward un-Christianity. Look at the quality of government, the quality of business and industry, the
quality of education, the quality of entertainment and mass media, the quality of life. After so many
Christmases, we have gone farther still from what Christ himself tells us was the very reason for his
coming: "I came that they might have life and have it to the full" (Jn 10:10).
That fullness of lifewhere is it, after going through so many Christmases? No, we have not taken
Christmas seriously. We have sung through it, danced through it, feasted through it. But this nation
has not taken Christmas seriously. We have not heeded John the Baptist, whose persistent plea
was: "Reform your lives! The reign of God is at hand" (Mt. 3:2). For us as a nation, through hundreds

of Christmases, the reign of God is always at hand, but just at hand. Because as a nation, we have
not reformed our lives. So the miracle of Christmas cannot yet come to pass.
If you will allow me, let us together unfreeze that Christmas scene. Or better still, let us allow the
scene to unfoldin time, in process, in motion. Yes, in perpetual motion. Never static. Ever dynamic.
Let us allow the Child to tell his story. Let us allow him to grow up. And through it all, who knowswe
may also begin to grow. So that finally, finally, we may start to reform our lives as a nation, thus
paving the way for the miracle of Christmas to happen to our country.
Let us begin by contemplating the life of the First Family. By this I mean Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,
the first Christian family, the original family, if you wish.
In that cave at Bethlehem, many years ago, silently and unobtrusively, a disturbing revolution began.
A revolution so alien to the ways of this world that even after twenty centuries, many of us are still
ambivalent, torn, struggling to either join the revolution all the way or fight against it.
There were many aspects to that revolution. Allow me to just focus on one family life. This was the
first thing and the last thing that Christ shared with us. He was born into a family. He grew up and
lived with his family, he died in the bosom of his family. From that cave at Bethlehem all the way to
the foot of the cross, there was family. Family thus became a vehicle of salvation.
And so, if our nation is to experience salvation and be saved for the Lord, we must likewise go
through that revolution in family life which the First Christian Family went through. For a nation is
only as Christian as the families that compose it.
At this point in our nation's history, our Lord may precisely be giving our families this supreme, oncein-a-lifetime opportunity to respond to the call of the times, what with our tottering economy and our
morally decadent citizenry.
With God's help, we face the challenge of transforming our society by first transforming our families.
This is the task of a lifetime. But if we allow the Spirit of the Lord to be in us, we cannot fail. We have
to start somewhere. And that somewhere is here and now with our families.
We believe in the oft-quoted statement that "all the flowers of tomorrow are in the seeds of today."
The children of today will be the leaders of tomorrow. Leaders of families, of church, of government,
business, industry, everything.
Inspired by the Spirit of the Lord, let us allow our families then to be led by the Holy Family through
this revolution in family life.
How did Jesus, Mary, and Joseph as a family live their lives together? We cannot but conclude, first
of all, that love, overwhelming love, must have been the all-encompassing climate in that home. And
from this far-reaching love flowed the way they lived, that is to say, their lifestyle. And this is what we
are most concerned about right nowtheir lifestyle. For this alternative lifestyle, I believe, is what
can and should be our response as families to our national crisis today.

The family lifestyle of the Holy Family was characterized by three, striking qualities, three
outstanding values which I call the three S's: Stewardship, Simplicity and Sharing. Let us reflect on
each one of them.
Stewardship
This means accepting the fundamental truth that God is the ultimate Father of our family. He is our
creator and lord, and our family is his creation. Thus, everything that we are as a family, and
everything that we have are not really ours but God's. "The Lord's are the earth and its fullness: the
world and those who dwell in it" (Ps. 24:1). Our lives, talents, resources as a familythese have
been entrusted to us, not to be used arbitrarily or merely for our own vested interests, but according
to God's designs.
After Mary heard what the angel had saidthat she was to bear a son, in spite of her being a virgin,
and that the power of the Most High was to cover her with its shadowshe got terribly frightened.
But after getting over that initial fear, the words that came out of her heart and lips were: "I am the
handmaid of the Lord. Let what you have said be done to me" (Lk 1:38).
This was matched by an identical attitude from Joseph, who proved worthy of his stewardship as
foster father of Jesus, by giving all that he was and all that he had, to the best of his ability. And
when it came to Jesus himself, we all know that throughout his life, his all-consuming passion was to
render himself at the disposal of his heavenly Father's will.
Thus, the First Christian Family's fundamental stance and attitude in life was one of stewardship.
And so it has to be with all other families who really want to be Christian.
This is a revolution in itself. This is so foreign to what you and I have been taught. Raised in the
western, capitalistic philosophy of private ownership, we have been brainwashed to believe that we
own ourselves and what we have and what we can acquire and accumulate. And that we can do with
these as we please, precisely because we regard them as our own. As someone had said, we often
act, not as caretakers, but as owners. Instead of representing God's rule, we choose to be like God.
And we find it so very difficult to relinquish ownership to God.
Yes, the family is God's caretaker. How profoundly meaningful that word is. Our Flipino translation is
equally powerful: "Tagapag-alaga (caretaker)." (I ask you not to associate the word "alaga" with
some other meaning, like: "Oy, pare, alam mo ba iyong kaibigan mo - maraming "alaga"? [Oh
comrade, do you know that your friend has many girlfriends?]. Whether it is used in the political or
sexual sense, this is not what we mean!). The stewardship meaning of alaga involves deep
compassion, responsible caring, dedicated service. To make the best use of whatever the Lord has
gifted us with as a familyaccording to his designs, not according to the world's self-serving
designs.
No, families can be truly Christian and Filipino without being nationalists. To love God is to love our
country, for this is God's country. To love God is to love our people, for these are God's people. To
love our country and our people with deep passion and compassionto the marrow of our bones
this is what can make our nation great. And this is precisely what is missing in many of our families,
even among those who are involved in spiritual renewal movements: the living conviction that the
Filipino and the Filipino nation are worth dying for.

As families, above all, we must take communal responsibility for protecting God's ownership and
sovereignty over our land, our people, our human dignity and freedom, and over truth and justice.
We cannot allow business, industry, government and other systems to trample upon us when they
attempt to abrogate ownership of these aspects of our lives to themselves. We allow many in our
land with shameless greed for profit and power, to exploit the powerless. But the Bible warns us:
"Woe to you who join house to house, who add field to field..." (Is. 5:8).
Again, in the New Testament we read our Lord's strong words: "Render to Caesar the things that are
Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's" (Mt 22:21). The tax-money belongs to Caesar. Give
that to him. But this land of ours belongs to God, not to Caesar. Our people belong to God and most
certainly not to Caesar. Our human dignity, freedom, truth, and justicethese cannot be surrendered
to Caesar singular or to Caesars plural. They belong to God. And the core of our stewardship with
God as families is to keep it that way, even at the cost of our lives. In fact, what is life for if not for
that?
This singleness of purpose, this attitude of stewardship for God, inevitably leads us to the second
"S" of our alternative, Christian family lifestyle - Simplicity.
Simplicity
This means simple living. It follows that with a profound attitude of being stewards, caretakers of the
Lord, our family will be gradually led to a more simple lifestyle. As our family focuses more on the
Lord and the neighbor, it will gradually learn to focus less on itself.
It is crucial here to get a real feel of how the Holy Family members lived their life. They certainly lived
for us, in no uncertain terms, what simple living was. The birth of Christ, his hidden life as a
carpenter, his public ministry, his deathall these were characterized by dignified simplicity.
The life of the Holy Family was not a glorification of poverty as such, much less of destitutionwhich
robs the family of its dignity and humanitybut rather a glorification of simplicity. There was such a
profound dignity, respectability, and sacredness about the simple lifestyle of the First Familyof
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. For them, persons were more important than possessions.
This is our inspiration and our norm, no matter what socio-economic level our family comes from.
This is a most urgent call to all of us families, particularly at this time of our national crisis.
As families, we must be acutely aware and ruthlessly honest about the insidious climate of
technological materialism that surrounds us, whether this be capitalistic materialism or communistic
materialism. As we had mentioned under stewardship, and again here, we must especially guard
against a shameful colonial mentality and living beyond our means as families and as a nation.
In this scenario of technological materialism, luxuries very quickly become necessities. Imported
products cease to be options and become preferences, from the clothes we wear to the food we eat
"Levi's," "Gucci-Gucci," "Christian Dior." As long as there is the word Christian!
And how many young and not-so-young people would continue to patronize, let alone prefer,
Nena's bibingka,puto, and ginatan? (Filipino delicacies.) So many families would rather be seduced
to run to McDonald's, Dunkin Doughnuts, Kentucky Chicken, and Shakey's. And where do you think
much of the profits of these multinational franchises go to? Of course to the original owners of the

name brands. Not to our country. Not to our people. They only use our cheap labor. We cannot
creatively develop our own native resources under this climate. As we continue to do this to
ourselves, can we really say that we are God's stewards of our own land, our own country?
Moreover, is this Filipino?
Intellectual honesty is needed herewhere luxuries remain as luxuries, and necessities are properly
provided for, as the Lord of nature would have it. The quantity and quality of food, clothing, shelter,
and other human facilities, including energy, should become the objects of critical discernment.
Healthy food need not be the best food, decent clothing need not be the most expensive, a
comfortable home need not be the envy of the neighbors, and energy conservation can become
second nature to us all.
The same goes for forms of recreation and relaxation. Back-to-nature activities are more healthy and
creative. Ways of celebrating significant events like birthdays, weddings, Christmas, and New Year
can be more simple, more creative, and much less expensive. The amount of money that went up in
firecracker smoke this past New Years Eve, among the rich as well as among the poor, and for
hours and hours on end, simply depressed me rather than ushered me joyfully into the New Year.
Balance and moderation were far from the consciousness of people.
In all this, I certainly am not advocating excesses or extremes, a kind of fanatic conversion which we
call "freaking out," but rather a balanced, down-to-earth, Christ-inspired simplicity of family lifestyle.
This is what we call "creative deprivation." Simple living for a barrio, a farmer family would of course
take quite a different coloring from the simple living of an urban, highly successful professional or
wealthy businessmans family.
The farmer, for example, may have to minimize his consumption of beer or his trips to
the "sabungan,"(cockpit) or his family could really cut down on what they splurge on during the town
fiesta, or on what they spend on "kuwitis" (firecrackers) during New Year's Eve. For the upper middle
class family of a successful professional, on the other hand, it may mean a real, honest to goodness
cutting down on consumer goods, household facilities and appliances, cars, trips abroad, and whathave-you.
Perhaps some or even many of our families have already begun doing this. Such initial efforts must
be supported, encouraged, and sustained, until they become a new way of life for all of us. What a
legacy to leave to our children. Simplicity of lifestyle.
A recent issue of a local magazine featured different families responding to this in various ways. One
family drastically cut down the number of their house help and tried to get employment elsewhere for
those who had to leave them. Food recycling is another strategy of a second family. Another said:
"For us, less socials and more social work." For another, the parents went out of their way to provide
livelihood for others. Still another religiously cut down on gas by frequently taking the bus instead.
One family sold their second car. The possibilities are endless.
In many aspects of our family life, we can learn to be more creative when we discipline ourselves to
use fewer things and possessions around us. More importantly, this creative deprivation leads us to
an inner growth of the spirit, which in turn moves us to reach out. Reaching in leads to reaching out.
And this precisely brings us to the third "S" in our Christian lifestyle: Sharing.

Sharing
Simple living leads to greater sharing. If our needs and tastes are more simple, then there will
be more of ourselves and what we have that we can share with others, be it our time, talents,
resources, our very lives. This becomes the most meaningful consequence of creative deprivation.
This simple, seemingly simplistic way leads us to the core of Christianitya life of sharing. In fact,
this is the miracle that is Christianity. This is the miracle of Christmas.
Here again, our inspiration and our norm is the Holy Family, the sharing family, the family-for-others.
First of all, the sharing of their love, their persons. Then the sharing of their resources.
At the age of twelve, Jesus traveled to Jerusalem with his parents for the Feast of Passover.
Because of the crowds, the child was left behind. They found him only after several days, in the
temple, where he was listening and discussing among the temple doctors. You could almost guess
what Mary had said at that early stage: "Son where have you been. Did you not know that your
father and I have been searching for you? And Jesus replied: "Did you not know that I have to be
about my Fathers business. Thus showing them, even at that early stage of their family life, that
their family must share themselves with the bigger community of other families. At this point in time,
Mary and Joseph did not yet quite understand what Jesus meant. But in time they did. Mary kept
these things in her heart, according to the Gospel, and she, too, grew in age, and wisdom, and grace
(Lk 2:42-52).
Later on, when Jesus had just started his public life and was preaching to a big crowd, a messenger
came to Jesus and said: "Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you." What was the
response of Jesus? "And who are my mother and my brothers? You and you and youwhoever
follows the will of my Father in heavenhe is my mother and my brother" (Mt 12:48). This time,
Mary was silent. She knew. She understood.
In fact, at that beautiful wedding at Canathe beginning of family life for that young coupleit was
Mary herself who noticed their need and approached her son, saying: "They have no more wine.
Please do something." And he did. A perfect mother-and-son team. A sharing family. A family-forothers (Jn 2:1-11).
At another time, a huge crowd had followed Jesus to listen to his words of life. It was late. They were
all hungry. Says the gospel of St. Matthew:

When evening came, the disciples went to him and said, `This is a lonely place, and the time has
slipped by; so send the people away, and they can go to the villages to buy themselves some food.'
Jesus replied, 'There is no need for them to go: give them something to eat yourselves.' But they
answered, `All we have with us are five loaves and two fish.' `Bring them here to me.' he said. He
gave orders that the people were to sit down on the grass; then he took the five loaves and the two
fish, raised his eyes to heaven and said the blessing. And breaking the loaves he handed them to his
disciples who gave them to the crowds. They all ate as much as they wanted, and they collected the
scraps remaining, twelve baskets full. Those who ate numbered about five thousand men, to say
nothing of women and children (Mt 14:15-21).

What was most striking about this event may not be so obvious to some of us: It was in the very act
of sharingthat the miracle occurred. Christ and his disciples gave from the little that they had, and it
was then that God performed his miracle through them.
It is when we share of ourselves with others that we come closest to the way of Christ. It is when we
share that we allow God to work his miracle all over again. And right now, God knows how much we
need this kind of sharing in our country, for this country to really be in God's favor, for this country to
deserve a working of God's miracle.
But how deeply sorrowful he must be to see the opposite happening in many quarters, and between
the rich and the poor of our land. The dramatic contrast. The unjust, un-godly, inequitable distribution
of God's resources because of people's doing.
Take the most basic of human needs: food and nutrition. The problem of many of our people is how
to gain weight--since they lack sufficient, nourishing food. On the other hand, the problem of some of
our economic elite is how to lose weight, because they are overfed. May jogging dito, may FondaFonda aerobics doon, at kung anu-ano pang mga paraan para magpa-slim. (Gyms offering Fonda
aerobics and slimming exercises are mushrooming in the country).
This is not meant to point a finger at any one. This is simply to describe a tragic situation that is
aching for change, for a more equitable distribution and sharing, of this nation's resources, which,
after all, are Gods resources that were meant for all. This was how it was in the earliest Christian
communities, as we read in the Acts of the Apostles. No family had too much. No family had too little.
It is time for more and more families to work toward this. For them to move and act as groups, so
that they can become agents of change within the systems of government, business, industry, and
economics.
There are actually three ways by which families can do this sharing outside of their own little
families. One is on the level of what we call corporal works of mercy. The traditional ways of sharing
with others who have less, as for example, direct alms to the needy, operating feeding centers, direct
relief goods for the victims of natural catastrophies, and other similar projects. A second way is on
the level of helping others to help themselves. The self-help approach, like creating jobs for others,
helping in developing and marketing the products of the poor, helping to develop poor communities
in a total, holistic way, and so on. And a third way is on the level of direct work for justice, as for
example, participation in the non-violent, Christian inspired parliament of the streets, or supporting
just strikes of poor workers, or any other form of active non-violence in bringing about the Christian
transformation of societal structures and institutions that are clearly unjust and oppressive.
Over and above all this is the sharing of ourselves, our love, compassion, time, and the sharing of
our faith and spiritual blessings. Only in this way can our families become really Christian.
And for our families to sustain these efforts, we must cast out our fears and place our total trust in
the Lord. We must be ready to stick out like sore thumbs, as it were, in the midst of a self-seeking
world. We must be fearless in going against the tide, of being nonconformist. Someone had said it
so well, and allow me to quote: "If it hasn't already done so, the Church in this new millennium must
recognize that it lives in a pagan society; it must seek values and norms not shared by society. In
short, it will either recover the Christian doctrine of nonconformity or cease to have any authentic

Christian voice" (Gospel Herald, Sept. 26,1978). We need a spirituality of resistance for the 21st
century.
Let us not be afraid to raise our families as non-conformists, as social deviants even. For this is the
only way we can live the alternative lifestyle of stewardship, simplicity, and sharing which the First
Christian Family taught us. The nonconformists of today will prove to be the real Christians of
tomorrow.
As we go through our fumbling attempts and continuing struggles, let us fix our gaze on Jesus. As
long as we do that, we will be able to walk on the waves, without sinking. But the moment we lose
trust in him and become conscious of our puny, little selves, then, like Peter, we will start to sink. And
Jesus will likewise say to us: "O you of little faith; why did you doubt?" (Mt- 14:22-32).

He calls us to this revolution in family life as a response to the call of the times. Let
us carry on this alternative, family lifestyle of Stewardship, Simplicity, and Sharing
rooted in the divine assurance that Jesus will be with us all the way: "Know that I am
with you always, until the end of the world" (Mt. 28:20).