PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara
Parents, Families, Friends and Allies United with LGBTQ People

PO Box 617
Buffalo, NY 14207
716-883-0384

info@pflagbuffalo.org
www.pflagbuffalo.org
www.facebook.com/pflag.niagara

August Meeting
Sunday, August 16 @ 2:30-5:00
Kenilworth United Church of Christ
45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda, NY 14223
The Center for Psychosexual Health
will speak on transgender issues at this meeting.
However, private meetings with a PFLAG parent will still be available.

The sharing meetings are held at Kenilworth United Church of Christ, 45 Dalton Drive, Tonawanda 14223,
from 2:30-5:00. Newcomers and anyone interested will be offered the option of meeting privately with a PFLAG
parent. Our monthly meetings are in the library, which is near the parking lot entrance. The facility is
handicapped accessible. New Parents Meetings are scheduled as needed at a location convenient to those
involved. These self-help one-on-one meetings deal with the concerns of parents and family members who
have recently learned that a loved one is gay.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
We meet because we have learned that someone very close to us is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender. We try to
help one another deal with this information in a positive manner. Although we do not agree at all times, we try to be
understanding. We offer help to those who seek it, but do not force ourselves on others. We strive to maintain
anonymity while sharing on a level that is comfortable for all of us. We encourage all to attend meetings for their own

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A PROUD MONTH IN WASHINGTON

By Valerie Jarrett www.huffingtonpost.com July1, 2015

For too long, same-sex couples have fought tirelessly for their basic civil rights. Loving,
committed partners, along with millions of families and supporters, have challenged the status
quo, and demanded that all Americans receive equal treatment under the law, and the
opportunity for them and their families to live anywhere in this great country, with the dignity,
respect, and rights that all Americans deserve.
On Friday, June 26th, the Supreme Court honored their fight and handed down one of
the most historic rulings of our generation. The highest court in the land ruled that same-sex
couples have a constitutional right to marriage equality.
Friday's decision was momentous -- and as President Obama said in his remarks following the
decision, the Supreme Court has "reaffirmed that all Americans are entitled to the equal
protection of the law. That all people should be treated equally, regardless of who they are or
who they love."
After years of waiting, marriage equality is a reality. The ruling represents an enormous
victory for same-sex couples, their children, and their supporters, many of whom have
dedicated their lives to this struggle. The decision also provides a historic close to this year's
LGBT Pride Month -- an annual celebration of the courage of lesbian, gay, bisexual and
transgender communities. But central to celebrating Pride is recognizing the work that is yet to
be done. Not until every American -- whether gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender -is treated equally under the law will we fully realize our potential as a nation.
As the president said on Friday, "The decision affirms what millions of Americans already
believe in their hearts: When all Americans are treated as equal we are all more free." This is
the Administration's guiding principle on issues of LGBT equality -- from the repeal of "Don't
Ask, Don't Tell," to ending the legal defense of Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act
(DOMA).
From restructuring benefits following the end of DOMA, to appointing a record number of
openly LGBT Americans to the Administration. And last July, of course, the President signed an
Executive Order that prohibits federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

orientation or gender identity -- protecting up to 1.5 million Americans from discrimination

based on who they are or who they love.
Throughout Pride Month this June, the White House has welcomed leaders from around
the world to discuss issues facing the LGBT community. On June 1st, the Occupational Safety
and Health Administration kicked off the month by releasing its Guide to Restroom Access for
Transgender Workers, upholding the principle that all employees should have access to
restrooms that correspond to their gender identity. On June 12, the White House, National
Security Council, State Department, and USAID welcomed experts on policing and LGBT rights
from Europe, Africa, and Latin America to discuss community efforts to prevent bias-motivated
violence, the role of law enforcement, and other steps the government can take to protect
LGBT individuals.
And on June 23rd, the White House hosted an LGBT substance abuse roundtable to
discuss best practices for recovery and treatment in the LGBT community. The next day, the
White House hosted a briefing on how the president's priorities around health care, climate
change, education, and international LGBT rights are impacting the LGBT community. This
briefing was in conjunction with a White House announcement that after 2015, federal
employees' health insurers can no longer contain blanket exclusions for transgender-inclusive
health care such as hormone therapy.
Also last week, the Office of Science and Technology Policy hosted a "We The Geeks:
Made With Pride" Google hangout to recognize the accomplishments of makers and LGBT
people in technology, and explore strategies for diversifying science and technology fields.
To close out the month, the president hosted a Pride Month reception for LGBT leaders and
allies at the White House on Wednesday, June 24th.
2015 has also marked some important steps forward in our society for transgender
Americans, as more and more of our neighbors, family members and loved ones are feeling the
freedom and support they need to embrace their personal identities. More businesses are
standing up against anti-LGBT legislation in states and we've seen a real shift towards broader
public acceptance and understanding.
As our work continues in the months and years to come, we must remember to keep
pushing for things like a fully inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act and a society in
which every child in America feels supported and safe to pursue their happiness, regardless of

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who they are or whom they love. We also must remember this period as proof of what is
possible when we work hard, work together, and pursue the highest ideals of our country.
President Obama said it best while honoring the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington:
"But we would dishonor those heroes as well to suggest that the work of this nation is
somehow complete.
The arc of the moral universe may bend towards justice, but it doesn't bend on its own.
To secure the gains this country has made requires constant vigilance, not complacency."

WHEN GOING TO THE STORE WITH YOUR 10 YEAR OLD GAY SON IS A POLITICAL ACT
By Dave_Blogger Huffington Post, June 28, 2015

When you have a well-documented, young, gay son, you get a lot of questions.
Everything from, "How does he know he's gay?" to "Are you sure he's gay?" to "No, really,
HOW ARE YOU SURE?".
And now that it's been almost four years since he "came out of the closet," (we need a
new phrase for kids who announce their orientation when they've never been in a closet.
Nor ever knew there was a closet in which to get stuck in) after people ignore our
answers to those first three questions, they begin to ask questions about puberty, everyone's

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

least favorite metamorphic bodily change. "Well, he's going to be in puberty soon, sooooooo..."
followed by a bunch of eyebrow wagging, hand waving and leering smiles, anything to avoid
the term "butt sex," the only thing people who ask questions like this seem know/care about
when it comes to gay men.
Our kid is not having sex, of any kind, yet. Although he's as tall as a 14-year-old, he's
10 and so far, puberty has involved emotional outbursts and stinking really bad after sweating
(and the seven hairs on his upper lip he calls his mustache -- Fredrick Nietzsche he's not). It
was the stinky part that got us into a situation the other day.
He and I have been playing tennis each day this summer and afterwards, we had to
take showers, regardless of his protests that he doesn't need one. He was getting out of the
shower one day when we realized we needed dog supplies and my wife, Amelia, threw him the
top shirt off the pile of folded, clean laundry on the table in front of her.
He pulled it on as we loaded the three boys into the Wagon Queen Family Truckster and
headed out.
As I drove to the store, Amelia kept the kids busy talking about how we were not buying
any hamsters, birds, fish, turtles or even feeder crickets as pets.
Suddenly, she turned around and told me to look at his shirt. I moved the rearview
mirror down and saw, on his white shirt, six-inch tall, black letters that said, "Likes Boys," just
like one of his favorite Glee characters wore on the show. Uh-oh.
While we live in an island of blue in a very red state, our young boy wearing this shirt is
still a political act, a statement that many of our fellow citizens do not agree with.
After my wife started writing about our eldest's coming out, we received many negative
reactions, so we know firsthand not everyone is OK with gay people, especially very young gay
people.
And now our son was wearing a shirt that shouted to the world how his heart leaned.
It is a shirt he has owned for years, but one we have very subtlety controlled when he
wore, because he should not have to deal with people's questions and comments during a trip
to the store. Would people be cool or major jerk faces?
We had to be prepared for the worst without letting him know what was going through
our minds. We have always felt there was nothing wrong with him, and we weren't about to
make him think that had changed now.

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I've always called the pet store the poor man's zoo, and our kids love to watch all the
little animals run in wheels, or swim or hang out on plastic tree limbs and crap everywhere, so
we decided that I would take the kids to the animals and the wife would get what we had come
for. I'm 6'4'' and people tend to keep their stupid opinions to just words and nothing physical
when I stand by my kids.
If it was only that easy all the time.
Our 5-year-old immediately ran over to the rescue cats in their cages in one part of the
store, our 8-year-old wanted to watch the turtles be all turtlely, and our eldest was going to
see what the hamsters were up to.
Oh, to be three places at once. I was able to herd them together just in time for our
eldest to roam off and find his mom. I shoveled the other kids in his direction and we got to
shopping. We had been there for nearly five minutes and nothing horrible had happened. Yet.
And then, things did start to happen: smiles. People would look at his shirt as he looked
at dog toys and they smiled. The fuzzy-headed lady with the tennis ball-sized dog, the couple
loaded down with all the cat equipment you can legally buy at one time and the lady who
checked us out all smiled at him. At us.
Maybe they smiled because he looks older and they can accept a 14-year-old gay boy
more than a gay 10-year-old child.
Maybe they smiled because attitudes are changing and our society is starting to accept
that if people are born gay, there are gay babies and gay toddlers and gay little kids.
Maybe they didn't even notice the shirt and they just smiled at my enthusiastic young
son.
As we make strides legally (thank you, Supreme Court!) and more people all over the
country see LGBT people as just people -- people at home owner association meetings, taking
up space on the bus, arguing with their partners in the store about what kind of jelly to buy -hopefully, there will be more smiles for all the gay kids out there just wanting to live their lives,
tell their parents their music sucks and that they just don't understand.
Perhaps things are getting better and we're just getting to the age where our gay boy is
just another gay kid.
It would be nice to think of him as just another kid, but maybe that's asking too much
too soon. For now, I'll take the smiles.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

CAITLYN JENNER RECEIVES ESPY AWARD FOR COURAGE

WIVB Digital Staff, July 16, 2015

Caitlyn Jenner accepted the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs on Wednesday
night while urging acceptance for others who are transgender.She received a standing ovation
from some of the sporting worlds biggest stars after her 10-minute speech during the annual
awards honoring the years top athletes and moments.
This transition has been harder on me than anything I can imagine, said Jenner, who
revealed she was in the process of becoming a woman in a televised interview with Diane
Sawyer in April on ABC.
From the stage, Jenner thanked Sawyer, whom she called a friend.
Noting her powerful celebrity platform, the 1976 Olympic decathlon champion and
current reality TV star vowed to do whatever I can to reshape the landscape of how
transgender people are viewed and treated.
Abby Wambach of the U.S. soccer team that won the Womens World Cup presented the
trophy to Jenner, whose voice broke as she thanked members of her famous family, including
stepdaughters Kim and Khloe Kardashian. Tears welled in the eyes of Jenners younger
daughter, Kylie, whose sister, Kendall, wiped a tear from her eye.
I never wanted to hurt anyone else, most of all my family and my kids, said Jenner,
wiping her eye.
She admitted that until earlier this year she had never met another transgender person.

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The 65-year-old told the audience about trans teenagers who are bullied, beaten up, murdered
or kill themselves. Jenner mentioned two people by name whose deaths particularly touched
her.
Trans people deserve something vital, they deserve your respect, she said. From that
respect comes a more compassionate community.
Jenner urged the crowd that included football, basketball, baseball and hockey superstars to
remember what they say and do is absorbed and observed by millions of people, especially
young people.
My plea for you tonight is one join me in making this one of your issues as well, she
said.
Many in the crowd watched intently as Jenner spoke with little reaction on their faces.
If you want to call me names, make jokes and doubt my intentions, go ahead because the
reality is I can take it, she said. But for thousands of kids out there coming to terms with the
reality of who they are they shouldnt have to take it.
A video narrated by Mad Men actor Jon Hamm traced Jenners life from the time when
she was known as Bruce Jenner to her current transition. She mentioned she once considered
ending her own life with a gun she owned.
She was shown applying makeup, buttoning her blouse in her closet and fastening the
strap on her heeled shoes.
With her trembling hands clasped in front of her, Jenner joked with the audience about her
struggle to select the cream gown she wore
OK girls, I get it, she said, as the audience laughed. Youve got to get the shoes, the
hair, the makeup, it was exhausting. And the fashion police, please be kind on me. Im new at
this.
Jenner didnt walk the red carpet outside the Microsoft Theater in downtown Los Angeles,
and she didnt appear backstage to talk with reporters, as most of the previous Ashe award
recipients have done. ESPN said Jenner wanted her onstage comments to stand.
Reaction among Jenners sporting peers on the red carpet was mixed.
Little League baseball pitcher Mone Davis called Jenner brave.
Shes really brave to have the courage to get through a lot of those things, said the
14-year-old who won best breakthrough athlete. I know a lot of people give her a hard time
about it, but just for her family to give her that support is amazing.

PFLAG Buffalo-Niagara

Former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield said, I just know thats Bruce Jenner and Ill
leave it at that.
RadarOnline.com reported Wednesday that Jenners representatives approached ESPN
suggesting the network give her the Ashe award in exchange for plugs on her upcoming E!
docuseries. ESPN and ABC are owned by Disney.
That rumor is completely false, ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz said. The Arthur Ashe
Courage Award and ABC interview were never connected.
Jenners publicist Alan Nierob called the report utterly false and had no further comment.
Jenners selection to receive the Ashe award named for the late tennis player who died in
1993 after contracting AIDS from a blood transfusion generated strong debate online.
I met Arthur Ashe a few times. I know how important education was to him, Jenner said.
Learn as much as you can about another person to understand them as well as you can.
Online critics said college basketball player Lauren Hill, who died of brain cancer in April, was
deserving of the Ashe honor.
But Hills mother, Lisa, attended the show and said her daughter would not have
welcomed the controversy and made no judgment of others.
Jenners series called I Am Cait debuts July 26.

PFLAG BUFFALO-NIAGARA BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Phil Salemi, Jr., President

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Amy Fularz, Vice President

David Barrett, Director

Kristian Rickard, Vice President

Sharon Barrett, Director

Brian Carrier, Treasurer

Lisbeth Ball, Director

Michele Perry, Secretary

Ann Carrier, Director

Julie Christiano, Director

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PFLAG Buffalo/Niagara

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