R-I-C-K SPELLS DISASTER

Written by
Nick Adams

A Rick and Morty spec script

Address
Phone Number

INT. MORTYS BEDROOM - 3AM

RICK quietly opens the door to Mortys pitch black room.
Rick tiptoes over to the bed where MORTY is sleeping and
knocks over a shelf along the way. Morty jumps awake and
hits a light.
MORTY
Rick! What are you doing?
three in the morning!.

Its

RICK
Theres no time to explain, Morty.
I need your help.
MORTY
Did you ever think that I might
have plans for a change?
Rick fiddles with a gadget.
RICK
Whatd you say, Morty?
MORTY
I have plans, Rick! The school
spelling bee is tomorrow and I have
to be there. I shouldnt even be
awake right now!
RICK
Morty, Morty, Morty. Listen to me.
I give you my word you will not
miss that stupid spelling bee.
MORTY
(annoyed)
Rick!
Morty buries himself in his covers.
RICK
Great! Come on Morty, were
wasting time.
Rick exits, Morty gets out of bed, grabs a dictionary off
his desk and follows.
INT. RICKS GARAGE LABORATORY - MORNING
Rick and Morty enter the garage. Ricks flying car is
covered with dead meegull carcasses.

2.

RICK
My friend Birdperson had a birthday
bonanza on planet Zeptron last
night. He didnt want to tell me
until after I got there that its
meegull migrating season.
MORTY
Whats a meegull?
RICK
Youre looking at it Morty.
One meegull is still holding onto life, screaming in agony on
Ricks windshield.
RICK (CONTD)
Its like a bird and a crab had a
baby, and that baby was a hairless
freak that flies around eating
garbage and crapping on your car.
Morty pets the dying meegull.
MORTY
Hey, theyre kinda cute.
RICK
Dont let them fool you, Morty.
Theyre bastards. All of them.
And a pain in the ass to get off my
windshield.
MORTY
Cant you just squeegie it off or
something? Thats what my dad does
when bugs get on his car.
RICK
I wish it were that simple, Morty.
But Meegull blood is thick, and
theres only one thing thatll get
it off.
MORTY
Oh god, Rick. Not again.
Morty starts to unzip his pants.

3.
RICK
No, Morty! I need windshield wiper
fluid. But a special kind from a
special place on planet Zeptron.
Its the only thing that can
dissolve all these dead meegulls.
MORTY
So we just need to go to Zeptron
and get the fluid?
RICK
Precisely, Morty.
MORTY
And youre sure well make it back
for the spelling bee?
RICK
Do I look like a liar, Morty?
(beat)
Now come on before the rest of this
meegull blood hardens.
Rick opens a portal. Both him and Morty climb in the flying
car and they take off to another planet.
INT. DINING ROOM - MORNING
JERRY, BETH and SUMMER eat breakfast at the table in silence.
Beat
Jerry sets his fork down and looks up.
MORTY!
ready!

JERRY
Get down here, breakfast is

SUMMER
I dont think hes here, Dad.
JERRY
Where else would he be, huh?
SUMMER
I think I heard grandpa wake him up
really early this morning.
JERRY
Well...fine. More bacon for me
then.

4.
Jerry takes the bacon off Mortys plate.
BETH
I dont mind them spending time
together, I just wish theyd let us
know when they were leaving...
JERRY
When has your father ever been one
to let us know anything? Oh, like
the time when he showed up at our
door and let us know he was moving
in?
BETH
Jerry! Can we not start right now?
Its my one day off with no
obligations, I dont want to spend
it arguing.
JERRY
No obligations?! Hunny!
forget what today is?

Did you

Beth and Summer stare at Jerry.

JERRY (CONTD)
Its our annual spring cleaning!
SUMMER
Im not wasting my Saturday doing
that.
JERRY
Ah, Summer. Sometimes you have to
spend a day off doing things you
dont wanna do.
BETH
Jerry, thats what Sundays are for.
JERRY
Not this time! Well start on the
inside, work our way out and finish
with the Christmas lights. Whos
ready for some fun?!
Summer and Beth look down at their plates and play with their
food silently.

5.
INT. RICKS FLYING CAR ON ZEPTRON - MORNING
Rick and Morty fly in the car covered with meeguls.
flips through a dictionary.

Morty

RICK
So theres this big flea market
here. Real big. And they sell
anything you could ever want.
Anything?

MORTY

RICK
Anything, Morty. We just have to
find the guy with the fluid.
MORTY
So just a quick in and out, right?
RICK
Its not that simple, Morty. Did I
mention this is a big flea market?
Yeah...

MORTY

RICK
Okay, because this thing is huge.
First we have to find the guy that
sells the fluid. Then well have
to stop at the food court...
MORTY
Rick, the spelling bee...
RICK
Relax, Morty. This place is known
for their meat bags. You cant
stop here and not get one.
Remember, you have my word.
Okay...

MORTY

INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING

Beth sits on the couch watching TV. Summer plays a game on
her phone. Jerry enters wearing a smock, rubber gloves and a
bandana tied on his head and carries a feather duster.

6.
JERRY
Lets go party people, these tables
arent going to dust themselves!
Jerry lifts Beths legs off the table to dust under them.
BETH
Jerry, its really not that bad.
JERRY
We must be looking inside two
different houses, Beth. Here, why
dont you finish the dusting.
Jerry hands Beth the duster.
JERRY (CONTD)
Summer, you go grab the broom and
sweep out the fire place.
Hm?

SUMMER

JERRY
Get the broom.
Summer plays on her phone.
JERRY (CONTD)
Now, Summer!
Summer stands up, still looking at her phone and doesnt
move.
JERRY (CONTD)
Ill clean the TV.
Jerry sprays the TV down and starts wiping.
from the couch.
Jerry!

Beth watches

BETH
Im watching that!

JERRY
When you should be cleaning! We
can all relax when were done. Now
come on gang!
Summer types away on her phone.
onto the floor.

Beth slithers off the couch

7.
EXT. PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON
Rick and Morty exit the car in a packed parking lot. A
meegull still screams in agony on the car. Species and races
of all shapes and sizes walk towards a sleazy, tent city
looking flea market.
INT. FLEA MARKET - AFTERNOON
Rick and Morty walk through the flea market. Signs and
products and foods hang everywhere.
ALIEN VENDOR 1
Tired of dumping out all of your
vacuumed garbage? With my new
patented Vacuum Eater, we turn your
dust into dinner!
Alien Vendor 1 holds up a hamburger made out of dust bunnies.
Rick and Morty keep walking. They pass a booth with an Ewok
signing autographs.
MORTY
Whoa, grandpa Rick.
Ewok?

Is that an

RICK
No Morty, its the animal George
Lucas based the Ewoks off of. Ever
since the movie came out these guys
think they can make money selling
autographs.
MORTY
Can I get an autograph?
Rick points to a sign reading Autographs with an
unintelligible symbol for money.
RICK
For that price? Youre better off
getting one from an actor at a
convention, Morty. Besides, wed
just be fueling their crippling
drug habit, and you know how I feel
about those.
They continue walking. Morty sees a booth with hanging
crystals and approaches it.
MORTY
Whoa, what are these for?

8.
ALIEN VENDOR 2
(whispers)
Decorationssssssss.
MORTY
Theres no mystical power or
nothing?
ALIEN VENDOR 2
Light goes innnnnn. Rainbows come
outttttt.
MORTY
Thats kinda cool...
ALIEN VENDOR 2
You wanna buy some shroomsssssss?
Uh...Rick!

MORTY

Morty runs back to join Rick.

EXT. BACKYARD - AFTERNOON

Jerry kills the lawn mower, wipes sweat off his brow and
admires his fresh cut grass.
JERRY
Now thats a mowed lawn.
weed eating, girls?

Hows the

Summer and Beth are relaxed in lawn chairs.

Summer tans and texts.

Beth drinks,

BETH
We ate them all.
Jerry notices the garden is still overgrown with weeds.
JERRY
You didnt eat a single one! You
guys, Im not asking for much.
Havent you heard many hands make
light work?
SUMMER
Oh yeah, Dad. You still have to
take the Christmas lights down.

9.
JERRY
WE still have to take the Christmas
lights down. In fact, why dont
you grab the ladder, Summer.
Ugh!

SUMMER

JERRY
Now, Summer!
Summer stands up from her chair, stares at her phone and
doesnt move.
INT. FLEA MARKET FOOD COURT - AFTERNOON
Rick and Morty sit at a table sucking meat from baggies.
They are surrounded by bags of items theyve purchased.
MORTY
You were right, Rick. They really
do have, you know, anything you
could want.
RICK
Why do you ever doubt me, Morty?
MORTY
Hey, so I guess we can head back so
I can get to that spelling be now,
huh?
RICK
Not so fast, Morty. Sure weve got
a lot of really really great stuff,
but we dont have the one thing we
came for.
MORTY
Ah Rick! Okay, but hurry up. I
think weve spent enough time here.
RICK
Okay Morty, last stop.
INT. FLEA MARKET - AFTERNOON
Rick and Morty stand outside a booth while holding all of
their purchased items. An ALIEN stands behind the counter.

10.
RICK
Good afternoon, sir. Id like one
bottle of your meegle removing
wiper fluid.
ALIEN
(alien noises)
RICK
Migrating season, am I right?
ALIEN
(alien noises)
Rick hands the alien a credit card to swipe.
ALIEN (CONTD)
(alien noises)
RICK
What do you mean funds not
available? Ive been using the
card all day.
ALIEN
(alien noises)
Mhmm.

RICK

ALIEN
(alien noises)
Right...

RICK

ALIEN
(alien noises)
Okay...

RICK

MORTY
Whats he saying, Rick?
RICK
Quiet, Morty!
ALIEN
(alien noises)
RICK
What about Zop coins?

11.
ALIEN
(alien noises)
RICK
Youre killing me here!
you call yourself a
businesscreature?

What?

And

ALIEN
(alien noises)
RICK
Okay, Morty. Lets go.
MORTY
But what about the washer fluid?
They start walking
RICK
Not here, Morty. Apparently
intergalactic credit cards have a
limit and Ive reached mine.
MORTY
What are we gonna do?
RICK
Relax, Morty. That thing told me
theres a place not too far from
here that has all the washer fluid
you could want...for free.
MORTY
Oh god, Rick. Can we come back and
get it another time? The spelling
bee starts in two hours!
RICK
And have those dead meegles ruin my
new paint job? I dont think so,
Morty. We came all the way here,
were not leaving without that
washer fluid.
MORTY
Fine, Rick. Lets just get this
done already.

12.
EXT. ROOF - AFTERNOON
Jerry climbs up a ladder onto the roof. Summer and
Beth are laying, relaxed among Santa and reindeer ornaments.
Summer tans and texts, Beth drinks.
JERRY
Really, guys?
BETH
Were here, Jerry.
you want us to do?

What else do

JERRY
Anything, Beth. I just want you to
help me out. Summer! You too!
Summer stands up, still texting and doesnt move. Summer
kicks the Santa ornament off the roof and lays back down.
JERRY (CONTD)
Its a start...
SUMMER
How come Morty doesnt have to
spring clean?
JERRY
If I knew where Morty was right
now, believe me hed be spring
cleaning.
BETH
Maybe I shouldve gone with them...
Me too...

SUMMER

JERRY
Well you didnt.
help me.

Now shut up and

EXT. PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON

Rick and Morty walk to their car dragging behind all their
purchases.
MORTY
Cant you just finish this without
me?

13.
RICK
No, Morty. Dont try to pull a
fast one on me.
You made a
promise to finish this when you
agreed to help me.
MORTY
You mean when you dragged me out of
my bed?
RICK
Whatever, Morty.
MORTY
I just...Theres no way were gonna
make it!
RICK
Morty...My word?
MORTY
All right...
Rick and Morty get in the car. Fly off.
EXT. BACKYARD - AFTERNOON
Jerry rolls Christmas lights around his arm.
gather the Santa and reindeer.
JERRY
Not bad, gang. That really did
make light work.
SUMMER
This is terrible!
BETH
Yes. Somebody please shoot me
before spring comes again.
JERRY
Cmon you guys. Now our whole
house is clean and we did it
together as a family.
SUMMER
Oh god, I think Im gonna throw up.
BETH
Go lie down, sweetie.

Summer and Beth

14.
SUMMER
I think Im going to.
much.

This is too

JERRY
Too much cleanliness?
agree.

Well, I

INT. RICKS CAR - AFTERNOON

Rick drinks and drives while Morty flips through a dictionary
and checks the time.
MORTY
Hey Rick, test me, will ya?
Morty passes the dictionary to Rick.
pages simultaneously.

Rick drives and flips

RICK
Alright uh, how
about...Googledorph?
MORTY
Googledorph? Thats not even a
word!
RICK
Hah! Dont say that in front of a
Johovian.
MORTY
Whatever, Rick. Just forget it.
Morty takes back the dictionary.
RICK
Aw, dont be mad Morty.
MORTY
Why shouldnt I be? You dragged me
on another stupid trip that I
didnt wanna go on. Ive been
saying all day I dont have time
for this. You dont listen to me,
Rick!
RICK
Sorry, Morty. You said I dont
what?

15.
MORTY
Nevermind. Lets just get that
stupid soap and get out of here.
RICK
Its not soap, Morty. Its a blood
thinning liquid that breaks down
the bones and proteins of meegulls
while giving your windows a glossy
shine.
MORTY
I dont care, Rick!
go home!

I just wanna

Rick parks the car by a mountain.

RICK
After we get this.
Here?

MORTY
Are we here?

RICK
We park here. The liquid is up
there.
Rick points to the top of the very tall mountain.
Oh god...

MORTY

INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Summer, Beth and Jerry sit on the couch watching TV and
playing on their phones.
TV ANCHOR
Thanks Tom. Right now Im standing
outside Harry Herpson High School
where the line is already starting
for this years annual spelling bee.
Beth and Jerry stop and look at each other and jump up from
their seat.
BETH AND JERRY
Mortys spelling bee!
JERRY
Its tonight! How could you
forget?

16.
BETH
How could I forget? Jerry, youve
had me in a cleaning frenzy all
day. If anything, you made US
forget.
JERRY
By making us clean?
Yes!

BETH

JERRY
Fine. Next year I wont do
anything and we can just be THAT
family who has their Christmas
stuff up in JUNE!
SUMMER
Oh God, do we HAVE to go?
Yes!

BETH AND JERRY

EXT. MOUNTAIN - DAY

Rick and Morty hike up a mountain trail. Morty lags behind
reading a dictionary and checking the time.
MORTY
How much further?
RICK
Just a couple more turns, Morty.
You see that cave up there, Morty?
Huh? You see that cave?
MORTY
Yeah I see it.
RICK
Everything we need lies right in
that cave.
MORTY
The spelling bee starts in twenty
minutes.
RICK
Look, Morty, if I didnt trust that
I could finish this in time, Wed
be out of here Morty.
(MORE)

17.
RICK (CONT'D)
Wed be, wed be, at home going to
that spelling bee. But were not.
You know why?
Why?

MORTY

RICK
Because I have confidence, Morty.
And so should you.
They continue walking.
INT. CAVE - DAY
Rick and Morty enter a pitch black cave.
high tech flash light.

Rick pulls out a

RICK
The source should be around here
somewhere.
MORTY
Grandpa Rick, I think I hear water
coming from this direction.
Rick shines his light and they head that direction.
RICK
Nice ears, Morty. Now the closer
we get, the more we should start to
smell it.
MORTY
Whats it supposed to...Oh god.
RICK
Cat pee, Morty. It smells just
like cat pee. And were real close
A deep growl is heard.
MORTY
What was that?
RICK
Probably just the wind or
something.
Rick shines his light in the direction to reveal a gigantic
fire breathing meegle.

18.

Or that.

RICK (CONTD)

Rick and Morty scream.

INT. MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
Beth and Jerry frantically get ready for the spelling bee.
Jerry ties a tie, Beth puts on earrings.
JERRY
I cant believe we almost missed
Mortys spelling bee.
BETH
Really, Jerry?
JERRY
I just thought he wouldve
reminded us!
BETH
Its all hes been talking about
for weeks. I cant take that
stupid dictionary out of his hands.
JERRY
Well he couldve said SOMETHING.
BETH
Summer! You better be getting your
shoes on. Were leaving!
SUMMER
(o.s.)
Do I have to go?
Yes!

BETH AND JERRY

INT. CAVE - DAY

A very large, very angry fire breathing meegull protects a
reservoir. Rick and Morty duck behind a rock. Morty hugs his
dictionary.
Rick!

MORTY
What the heck is that thing?

RICK
Its a meegull, Morty.
really big meegull.

A really,

19.
MORTY
You didnt tell me there was gonna
be some huge monster guarding the
fluid.
RICK
Relax, Morty. Hes big, but hes
dumb. Theres seriously no way a
meegull could hurt us.
A wall of fire blows past Rick and Morty.
Rick!

MORTY

RICK
Okay, this meegull could hurt us.
But he wont! We can get out of
this. Weve just got to think like
a meegull. Quick Morty, whats
everything you know about meegulls?
MORTY
I dont know anything about
meegulls!
RICK
Well now youre going to learn
something, Morty. A meegulls
greatest weakness, is starch.
Starch?

MORTY

RICK
Starch, Morty. Or starch like
things. Bread, potatoes. Anything
soft and white, they go bonkers
over.
MORTY
Oh great! What, are we just
supposed to go back to the flea
market and buy some bread now?
Theres no time!
RICK
Quick, wheres the roll that came
with your meat bag?
MORTY
You ate my roll, Rick!

20.
RICK
I dont recall...
Another wall of fire blows past.

The meegull roars.

MORTY
Hurry, Rick!
RICK
All right, all right.
think...

Let me

Rick looks around and notices Morty clenching his dictionary.

Thats it!

RICK (CONTD)
Morty youre a genius.
MORTY

What?

RICK
Your dictionary!
Rick snatches the dictionary from Morty, tears a page out and
balls it up.
Hey!

MORTY
I need that to study!

RICK
Just watch, Morty.
Rick throws the balled up page out in front of the meegull.
The meegull pauses, approaches the ball and smells it. Then
devours it and roars.
MORTY
I dont think thats good.
RICK
No, its very good. He loves it.
Quick, we need more dictionary
pages.
Rick and Morty start tearing apart the dictionary and
throwing paper balls in front of the meegull to eat. They
throw paper balls leading out of the cave until the meegull
walks himself right off the side of the mountain.
RICK (CONTD)
I told you meegulls were dumb.
Wow...

MORTY

21.
Rick goes to the reservoir to fill his bottle. Morty holds
an empty hardback cover. With a full bottle of fluid, Rick
stands up from the reservoir.
RICK
Now lets get you to the spelling
bee.
INT. JERRYS CAR - EVENING
Jerry, Beth and Summer sit in the car in traffic.
honks his horn.
JERRY
Come on, were going to be late!
BETH
Well honkings not going to get us
there any faster.
JERRY
Well what kind of parents miss
their kids spelling bee?
SUMMER
Smart ones?
BETH
Enough, Summer!
SUMMER
Im just saying!
JERRY
Hes never going let us live this
down.
BETH
Well if you hadnt forgot about it
we wouldve been on time.
JERRY
Oh, so now this is my fault, huh?
If youll remember correctly, you
didnt remember it either.
BETH
Okay Jerry, we both messed up,
lets just drop it now.
JERRY
So you admit it!

Jerry

22.
SUMMER
Oh my God! Will you two just be
quiet already? If this is going to
be such a big deal maybe we just
shouldnt go...
Summer!

BETH AND JERRY

EXT. MOUNTAIN - EVENING

Rick and Morty approach the parking lot on the mountain.
giant meegull lies dead steps away from the car.

The

RICK
Okay, Morty. Let me just put this
in and well hit the road.
Rick pops his hood, pours fluid in. He enters his car and
hits the windshield wipers. Meeguls dissolve.
Wow, Rick.
job.

MORTY
That really does do the

RICK
Whatd I tell you, Morty? Now get
in, kid. Weve got a spelling bee
to get to.
Morty enters the car
INT. RICKS CAR - EVENING
Rick flies through planet Zeptron.
RICK
So are you ready, Morty?
MORTY
I think so, Rick. I did a lot of
studying today and I have
confidence. Im ready.
RICK
Im sorry about your dictionarything.
MORTY
Dont be, Rick. You always tell me
I shouldnt read books anyway.
(MORE)

23.
MORTY (CONT'D)
Besides, maybe the words have been
inside me all along.
RICK
Oh god, Morty. Thats the
stupidest thing Ive ever heard!
Well...

MORTY

Rick opens a portal

RICK
Forget it, Morty.
breath.

Hold your

They fly through the portal.

INT. RICKS CAR - EARTH
The portal takes them back to Mortys house.
MORTY
Rick! The spelling bee starts in
three minutes. Im never gonna
make it!
RICK
Relax, Morty. Ive got just the
thing.
Rick parks the car and they exit.
INT. GARAGE - EVENING
Rick pulls a portal gun off his shelf.
RICK
This portal gun will take you to
any domestic location in seconds.
Are you ready, Morty?
MORTY
As ready as Ill ever be.
Rick shoots the gun and a portal opens.
RICK
All right, Morty. Break a leg, or
whatever. I dont care.

24.
MORTY
Thanks grandpa Rick!
Morty steps through the portal.
INT. AUDITORIUM - EVENING
MR. GOLDENFOLD curates the spelling bee. Kids are seated on
stage competing and the audience is packed. One kid is at
the mic.
Coitus.

KID
C-O-I.

T-U-S.

Coitus.

A bell dings.
GOLDENFOLD
Thats correct!
The audience applauds. A portal opens and Morty is hurled on
stage. Everyone stares in shock.
GOLDENFOLD (CONTD)
Mortys here, everyone!
The audience applauds.

Morty finds a seat on stage.

GOLDENFOLD (CONTD)
And next up is...MORTY!
Morty approaches the microphone with confidence.
GOLDENFOLD (CONTD)
Youre word, is kernel.
MORTY
Kernel...kernel. Like popcorn
kernel or army guy colonel?
GOLDENFOLD
Like KERNEL, Morty!
Morty gets nervous.
MORTY
Can I have it in a sentence?
GOLDENFOLD
He told the colonel there was a
kernel stuck in his tooth.
MORTY
Okay...kernel...kernel...

25.
Rick appears in a vision.
RICK
(v.o.)
Have confidence, Morty.
(Belches)
Morty stands up straight with confidence
Kernal.

MORTY
C-O-L-O-N-E-L.

Colonel.

A loud buzzer goes off.

GOLDENFOLD
Oh Im sorry, Morty. You lost!
Thanks for trying!
Morty hangs his head and walks off stage.
Jerry and Beth kick open the doors at the back of the
auditorium and enter with Summer trailing behind on her
phone.
Mom!

Dad!

MORTY
You made it!

BETH
Of course we did!
JERRY
We wouldnt miss your spelling bee
for the world.
SUMMER
We almost did, though...
Summer!

BETH AND JERRY

MORTY
Well at least youre here now.
JERRY
Of course! No go out there and win
that spelling bee.
MORTY
Oh, Im actually done.
BETH
Its over already?

26.
MORTY
Well no, but Im done already.
BETH
You didnt give up did you?
MORTY
No! I lost. My word was colonel.
Or kernel. Whatever, Im done.
BETH
Oh Morty, dont worry about it.
MORTY
So youre not disappointed?
JERRY
Disappointed?! Morty, Im just
glad we showed up. It doesnt
matter if you win or lose, as long
as you tried and had confidence
BETH
What do you know about confidence?
JERRY
Not now, Beth.
BETH
Youre fathers right, Morty. We
still love you just the same.
SUMMER
Oh my God, can we GO now!
Come here.

JERRY
Bring it in, guys.

The whole family hugs.

JERRY (CONTD)
Now who wants ice cream?!
Yay!

FAMILY

GOLDENFOLD
Would you all get out? Were
trying to have a spelling bee!
Everyone in auditorium goes silent and stares at the family
hugging.

27.

Oh, yeah.

MORTY
Sorry mister Goldenfold.

Everyone in the auditorium stops to wait until Morty and

family exit the room.
BLACKOUT