Here We Are Now, Photograph Us

How To Take Party Photos And Urban Pinups v0.3

Bronques
This book is for sale at http://leanpub.com/howtotakepartyphotos
This version was published on 2015-03-01

This is a Leanpub book. Leanpub empowers authors and publishers with the Lean Publishing
process. Lean Publishing is the act of publishing an in-progress ebook using lightweight tools and
many iterations to get reader feedback, pivot until you have the right book and build traction once
you do.
2015 LastNightsParty

(Almost A Memoir)

Contents
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Introduction: NYE 2015 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3
4
5

PRE-GAME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Do You Even Have Talent? . . . . . . .
What Camera Should You Buy? . . . .
Film VS Digital . . . . . . . . . . . . .
How To Pick Your Website/Brand Name
Get To Know Your Camera . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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COMING SOON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

15

AT THE PARTY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

16

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE PHOTOS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

18

CONTENTS

CONTENTS

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY

PHOTOGRAPHER?
If most of your pictures look like this:

American Gothic, Grant Wood. 1930

You need to read this book.

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER?

Introduction: NYE 2015

Party photography is only a concept to you right now. Its not yet a taste. It
becomes a taste when you do it every day for a very long time. And then it becomes
nourishment. Life is a party. You should always be taking pictures. (Osho)
(missing image)
Im on my way to Los Angeles on New Years Eve to shoot one of the hottest underground parties
around: Rhonda. Its almost 2015 and tonight Rhonda is taking over every floor of the Standard
Hotel. Theyve arranged a free room for me and all the access I could need. I remember shooting
Rhonda when it was still only 50 people in a makeshift Mexican restaurant 6 years ago. But even
back then the people were larger-than-life fabulous. Now Rhonda throws massive parties all over
the world. This is sort of a homecoming for them. And for LastNightsParty its a reunion.
Its still morning at the airport and Im dressed in my finest tabloid look: jogging pants and
sunglasses. Im bored. Gate 52. My connection from Gaspe, Quebec (where I just spent Christmas)
to Los Angeles is through Toronto. Im restless. So I get some Davids Tea. Then I have some Cool
Ranch Doritos. Then I Instagram it. When I resurface I notice a hot girl in Canada Goose standing
right in front of me. I dont know why, but its clear to me right away. Im going to photograph this
girl naked on the plane.
Everything about taking photos on a plane is awkward. The tiny aisles. People looking at you. The
commotion. But you know whats even more awkward? Crossing the threshold between economy
and first class. That flimsy curtain fabric between first-class and economy feels like the Berlin Wall
sometimes. Especially when you have crazy ideas in your mind.
Her name is Chloe.
Any other day Id says yes, she says. Im not afraid of anything. I go sky-diving. I go bungee
jumping. I dance in front of traffic. Im usually the loudest one of all my friends. But this morning
They held me for 5 hours at American customs for no reason at all. The last thing I want to do right
now is anything that will bring attention to myself. All I feel like doing is curling up and falling
asleep for the whole flight. Im not in the mood for anything crazy.
In difficult circumstances like airplanes, unless your subject is 100% into it, you dont stand a chance
at magic. So, its best not to press the issue.
Unless you get permission, she adds.
Getting permission skills are important to a photographer. Those skills are much more important
than the lighting techniques they teach you in school.
The head stewardess doesnt even flinch. Just let me deliver these coffees to the pilots and Ill stand
guard at the curtain while you guys do your thing, she laughs. Whaaaaat? Her name is Marie-Jo.
Shes French-Canadian.

SO YOU WANNA BE A PARTY PHOTOGRAPHER?

True to her word, she doesnt rush us. I even lose track of time. I can overhear Marie-Jo ask first-class
passengers that need to use the bathroom to wait or go in economy.
Later, As Chloe and I are getting off the plane, I have to ask Marie-Jo why she agreed to my unusual
request with no hesitation.
My boyfriend is a photographer. Thats how we met. He asked to take photos of me. I just wanted
to make it easy for someone else.
How did a kid raised on farm lands in Quebec, Canada end up being the first photographer to be
paid to travel and shoot the hottest parties all over the world? A world where apparently people
are looking to do something crazy even in the daytime on a plane? Ironically, it all began with a
summer internship at a hip feminist magazine 10 years ago.
THIS BOOK IS NOT A TECHNICAL GUIDE TO GENERAL PHOTOGRAPHY. THESE PAGES
DONT CONTAIN ANY INFO ABOUT ISO, F-STOPS, SHUTTER SPEED, DEPTH OF FIELD
ETC. BECAUSE THAT STUFF IS BORING. THIS BOOK IS ABOUT PARTY PHOTOGRAPHY.
TAKING PARTY PHOTOS IS A STREET ART. THIS BOOK WILL TEACH YOU STREET
SMARTS. LIKE HOW TO DEAL WITH IRRITABLE DOORMEN THAT ARE ALLERGIC TO
CAMERAS. LIKE HOW TO APPROACH A CELEBRITY WHEN THERES A PHOTOGRAPHER BLACK OUT IN A CLUB. OR HOW TO TAKE A PHOTO OF A GIRL IN A BAR
BATHROOM WHEN PEOPLE (INCLUDING HER BOYFRIEND) ARE BANGING ON THE
DOOR. YES, THE IMPORTANT STUFF.

PRE-GAME
Do You Even Have Talent?
Taking party pictures is not about hanging out and getting cozy with your friends.
Its about getting amazing pictures, even if you have to make a few enemies in the
process. (Anonymous)
(missing image)
I met the editor of my favorite feminist magazine a few months after moving to New York in 2004. I
had a camera, but I hadnt started taking pictures seriously yet. The encounter took place at an after
party for a weird feminist play about Elvis. I told her how much I loved her magazine because it had
introduced me to Suicide Girls. I appreciated the magazines glorification of pinup photography. I
told her that after reading Naomi Wolfs book, The Beauty Myth, I didnt know how third wave
feminism would navigate sexual liberation, but somehow her magazine had successfully done it. I
told her that I would do anything to work there. Id even work for free. She liked that.
The next day I went in for an interview. I met the whole team, including the founders, and they
hired me on the spot. I was the first male intern ever to work there. I opened and categorized fan
mail. I went on food and coffee runs. I even started helping to organize a massive party they were
about to throw in the summer. I was their little bitch and I loved it. I stayed late after work to read
past issues of the magazine. I was in there three times a week, and it was awesome.
A few months later, we had our final meeting about the big anniversary party coming up. They
decided that I would do the door for the first half and take pictures for the second half. I was voted
to take pictures not because I had any talent but because I was the only one with a camera. There was
no money in the budget to hire a dedicated photographer, so it was decided that my photos would
be good enough. These were going to be the first party photos I had ever taken in my life. I wanted
them to be good enough to make it into the party recap pages of the next issue. The big night
came. I took as many candid photos of the party as I could. Even that early on I realized that posed
pictures were incredibly boring. I even tried to shoot some girls like I was a pinup photographer. I
wanted my pictures to have that sexual liberation of the magazine. I even put my little 2 megapixel
camera on black & white mode for a few photos to give it a more classic look.
The next day I brought in the pictures to share with the office. Media sources hadnt sent their
photos in yet, so these were the first round of pictures to be seen. All the interns, the editor and the
founders gathered around the computer. We started looking at the pictures, and everyone got silent.
No, seriously. No one said a single word as we went through about 60 photos. One of the founders
walked away halfway through it. When the slideshow was over, the editor said, This looks like you

PRE-GAME

were at an entirely different party than the one we were at last night. They hated the photos. There
was too much nudity. Too many naked girls in pinup poses. Too many people misbehaving. They
told me they would never publish my photos in their magazine. An intern muttered something about
the male gaze. I knew our relationship was over. They would never let me work there again (or any
guy for that matter probably). When I walked out, I stood in front of the building for a few minutes
depressed. I was in a state of Fuck Them! VS Maybe I did go too far? internal conflict. One of the
interns, came down for a smoke break. I was embarrassed, but she broke the silence. They totally
hate you up there. After you left, they said some nasty things. I dont think youll ever work for the
magazine again, but I gotta tell you, I loved your pictures! I dont know how you got people to do
all that stuff in your photos, but you have a talent. Photography like yours is totally the kind that I
love to look at. Pictures have started coming in from the media, and everything is so conservative.
Your pictures are fun. You have something here.
THE FIRST THING YOU SHOULD FIGURE OUT IS IF YOU TRULY HAVE A TALENT FOR
TAKING PICTURES. IF PEOPLE REGULARLY UNTAG THEMSELVES IN PHOTOS YOU
TAKE, THATS A BAD SIGN. IF PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS EMAILING YOU TO ASK FOR
HIGHER REZ, THATS A GOOD SIGN. IF YOUR PHOTOS ARENT BETTER THAN SOMEONE
HOLDING THEIR SELFIE STICK, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK FOR ANOTHER LINE OF
WORK. YOU SHOULD TRY TO FIND AN ANGLE TO YOUR PHOTOGRAPHY THAT IS
UNIQUE TO YOURSELF. ANYONE WHO SEES YOUR PICTURES SHOULD KNOW THAT
YOU TOOK THEM. ITS NOT IMPORTANT TO KNOW ALL THE TECHNICAL STUFF. SO
MANY SCHOLARS TAKE PICTURES WITH GOOD LIGHTING. BUT ITS THE INNER-LIGHT
YOU NEED. YES, IM TALKING ABOUT PASSION. PASSION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN
TALENT. THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO AQUIRE TALENT. THE FIRST WAY IS TO BE BORN
WITH IT. THE SECOND WAY IS TO COMBINE SHEER HARD WORK AND PASSION.
THATS WHAT MY FATHER WOULD ALWAYS TOLD ME AND I STILL BELIEVE IT. TAKE
PICTURES EVERY DAY. THE BEST TIME YOU COULD HAVE STARTED TAKING PHOTOS
EVERY DAY WAS 5 YEARS AGO. THE SECOND BEST TIME YOU COULD START TAKING
PHOTOS EVERY DAY IS TODAY. DO IT. LIKE, NOW. YOU SHOULD HAVE A PASSION TO
CREATE THINGS DAILY BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT LIVING LIFE WITHOUT CREATING
THINGS DAILY JUST ISNT A LIFE WORTH LIVING. IMPROVE YOUR RATIO. THE MORE
PHOTOS YOU TAKE THAT ARE USABLE, THE BETTER PHOTOGRAPHER YOU ARE. IF
YOU TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS EVERY DAY YOU GET BETTER NO MATTER WHO YOU
ARE. THATS THE ADVANTAGE WITH DIGITAL: DOING IT DOESNT COST YOU MONEY.
NO ONE EVER SAYS I DONT LIKE THAT PHOTO BECAUSE THE PHOTOGRAPHER TOOK
100 PICTURES BEFORE HE GOT THIS SHOT. SO JUST KEEP TAKING PICTURES UNTIL
YOU GET THEM TO LOOK LIKE YOU WANT THEM TO LOOK LIKE. SOMETIMES HALF
THE TALENT OF PHOTOGRAPHY IS BEING THE ONE WHO BROUGHT THE CAMERA TO
THE PARTY IN THE FIRST PLACE. SOMETIMES THE OTHER HALF OF THE TALENT IS
THAT YOU DECIDED TO TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR BAG. SOMETIMES TALENT IS BEING
AT THE WRONG PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME WITH A CAMERA IN YOUR HAND SET
TO AUTO-FOCUS. TAKE PICTURES A LOT AND YOU WILL BECOME AT MINIMUM A

PRE-GAME

SEMI-TALENTED PHOTOGRAPHER. YOU MIGHT EVEN END UP WITH A FEW CLASSIC

PHOTOS THAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY (AND MAYBE EVEN A MAGAZINE EDITOR) WILL
LOVE FOREVER.

What Camera Should You Buy?

Your camera should be a chick magnet. Even if youre just shooting dudes.
(missing image)
After the whole feminist magazine debacle, I didnt use my camera for a few months. That ended
when I went back to Canada for my best friends wedding. I was the best man. My vantage point
would be better than even the official wedding photographers. So I asked Jonathan (the groom) if I
could take photos during his wedding. When he saw how small my camera was he loved the idea. So
did Cara his fianc. She asked me to photograph the girls getting ready too. I had forgotten how fun
it was taking photos at an event. Everyone loved my cute little camera. Weddings can be awkward,
so being able to take photos allowed me to be social without really having to talk to people for long.
Especially at the wedding reception. No one could keep me tied up in a conversation because I had
to keep moving.
Bruce, one of our childhood buddies asked me what I was going to do with all those pictures at the
end. You should upload them all online tonight so that Jon and Cara can see them before they go
on their honeymoon, he said.
I wish. Itll take me a few days to do that.
Dude, it will take you an hour. Theres programs that do it for you now. Bruce is an IT guy. He
always knows about computer stuff before anyone else. He walked me over to a computer in one
of the side rooms at the reception place and downloaded a program on the spot to show me how
easy it was! He stole some pictures from bad party websites and made a quick web gallery in like 5
minutes. I couldnt believe my eyes.
(The gallery creator program that Bruce showed me is still the one I use to this day.)
NOONE EVER LOOKED AT A PHOTO AND SAID WOW, WHAT A NICE CANON PHOTOGRAPH OR WOW, THATS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL NIKON PORTRAIT. THE BRAND
NAME OF YOUR CAMERA DOESNT AFFECT WHAT A PHOTO LOOKS LIKE. YOU DO.
THE REASON YOU CHOOSE ONE BRAND VERSUS THE OTHER IS BECAUSE OF WHAT
YOURE USED TO. OR BECAUSE OF WHAT CAMERA BODY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH
AT THE STORE. NOWADAYS ANY CAMERA OVER 500$ CAN TAKE FANTASTIC PARTY
PHOTOGRAPHS. THE CAMERAS MAY ALL LOOK OR FEEL DIFFERENT WHEN YOU HOLD
THEM BUT WHEN YOURE FLIPPING THROUGH THE PICTURES NO ONE WILL CARE
WHICH CAMERA IT IS. ALL PEOPLE CARE ABOUT IS DO I LOOK GOOD?. AND ALL

PRE-GAME

PROMOTERS CARE ABOUT IS DOES THE PARTY LOOK FUN? THE ONLY TIME YOULL
END UP TALKING ABOUT NIKON VS CANON IS WITH OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS.
BUT WHY ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ANYWAYS? YOU SHOULD BE TAKING PHOTOS!
THE FIRST CAMERA I EVER BOUGHT WAS A CANON DIGITAL ELPH. A 2 MEGAPIXAL
CAMERA. I CHOSE THAT CAMERA BECAUSE IT LOOKED PRETTY. IT WAS BLACK AND
SMALL AND HAD EDGES THAT LOOKED LIKE CHEEKBONES. IT LOOKED LIKE Q
DESIGNED IT FOR JAMES BOND. WHEN I GOT BIGGER JOBS, I REALIZED THAT I NEEDED
TO BUY A MORE PROFESIONAL CAMERA THAT COULD KEEP FOCUS. I CHOSE A CANON
AGAIN SO I WOULDNT HAVE TO LEARN DIFFERENT SCREEN MENUS. I GOT A CANON
DIGITAL REBEL. THE NAME SOUNDED COOL TO ME. AND IT WAS BLACK. IF THEY
DIDNT HAVE IT IN BLACK, I WOULD HAVE SWITCHED TO NIKON ON THE SPOT.
YES, LOOKS MATTER. IF YOU HAVE TO CARRY SOMETHING AROUND WITH YOU ALL
THE TIME, MAKE SURE ITS CUTE. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT THE REBEL COULD DO,
BUT IT LOOKED NICE. BUY A CAMERA THAT LOOKS SO CUTE OR KICK-ASS THAT
YOULL WANT TO TAKE IT WITH YOU EVERYWHERE YOU GO. PUT BLACK TAPE ON
THE CAMERA LOGO AND GIVE YOUR CAMERA A NAME. BE MORE CREATIVE THAN
THE CAMERA MANUFACTURERS WERE. EVER NOTICE THAT THEY ALWAYS USE THE
SAME LETTERING AND NUMBER SYSTEM? THE NEW X1 OR D20? RACE CAR NAMING
SYSTEMS. WARHOL CALLED HIS CAMERA THE WIFE. MY FIRST CAMERAS NAME WAS
ELIZABETH. WHEN YOU START HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CAMERA, THE
PICTURES ONLY GET BETTER. YOU HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR CAMERA. YOUR
CAMERA HAS TO BECOME YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER.

Film VS Digital
You should always be taking pictures, if not with a camera then with your mind.
Memories you capture on purpose are always more vivid than the ones you pick
up by accident. Warm Bodies, Isaac Marion
(missing image)
ARE WE STILL HAVING THE FILM VS DIGITAL DEBATE? PEOPLE, ALL YOU NEED IS
ANY CAMERA WITH A FLASH, AND YOU CAN TAKE FANTASTIC PARTY PHOTOS. 35MM
FILM IS GREAT WHEN YOU WANT TO GO OLD SCHOOL. THE BEST THING ABOUT
USING IT IS THAT YOURE NEVER TEMPTED TO LOOK AT PHOTOS WHILE YOURE
AT A PARTY. USING 35MM FILM IS GOOD BECAUSE ITS A CONVERSATION STARTER
AND CONVERSATIONS OFTEN LEAD TO PHOTOS. FILM IS GREAT BECAUSE IT CAN
MAKE YOU FEEL MORE LIKE YOURE CREATING ART. IT CAN GIVE YOU THAT SENSE
OF SUPERIORITY AND ENTITLEMENT THAT SOMETIMES LEADS TO BETTER PICTURES.
SINCE YOU CANT SEE THE RESULTS IMMEDIATELY YOURE NOT AS ANALYTICAL
ABOUT THINGS THAT DONT MATTER. BUUUUUUT, GOING DIGITAL IS COOL BECAUSE

PRE-GAME

10

YOU CAN WASTE A BUNCH OF EXPOSURES ALL IN THE NAME OF HAVING THE FLASH
GO OFF ALOT WHICH MAKES PEOPLE AT A PARTY FEEL GLAMOROUS. WHEN PEOPLE
FEEL SPECIAL, YOU GET GOOD PICTURES. DONT LET THEM FOOL YOU WHEN THEY
ACCUSE YOU OF BEING PAPARRAZI- THEY LOVE IT! DIGITAL IS GOOD FOR PUTTING
PHOTOS ONLINE THE FASTEST. DIGITAL IS GOOD BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE TO
CHANGE FILM AND MISS AN ASTONISHING SHOT. DIGITAL IS GOOD BECAUSE ITS
CHEAPER. BUT SERIOUSLY, USE WHATEVER YOU HAVE. IF YOU HAVE A CHOICE, USE
WHATEVER WILL INSPIRE YOU TO TAKE THE CAMERA OFF YOUR BOOKSHELF AND
OUT OF YOUR BAG WHEN YOU GO OUT. THE CAMERA YOURE INSPIRED TO CARRY IS
THE CAMERA YOURE MORE LIKELY TO TAKE PARTY PHOTOS WITH.

How To Pick Your Website/Brand Name

The night that I stayed home and chilled, I read a book about going out.
(missing image)
I was house-sitting for Jon and Cara in Montreal while they were on their honeymoon and I had
a lot of time to think. I felt that there was something exciting that could be done with a digital
camera and this instant online gallery technology that Bruce had shown me. Why did the party
websites I had seen in NYC take so long to update their photos? I tried it. It was as easy as when
Bruce had shown me. Jon and Cara (and everyone else in attendance) got to see wedding photos the
morning after. I started dreaming of the ultimate party website where photos would be up the next
day! Without fail. People would get excited to log on because they could see their photos as soon as
they woke up. The website would be called LastNightsParty. LastNightsParty.com was the perfect
name for this concept. I went online to register the name on Network Solutions but unfortunately
the name was already taken by a greeting card company so I registered LastNightsParty.net instead.
After all, American Apparel was using .net and that was fine for them, right? A few hours later
because it was haunting me, I decided to investigate who these greeting card people were. I had to
understand my URL competition. But when I went back, it was suddenly gone. What? Had I typed
the name wrong? The .com version was available! I couldnt believe it. I called Network Solutions
immediately and told them that I just bought a URL and that I wanted to change it and they said
theyd call me back to see if they could switch it. I was biting my nails for 3 hours until I got the call
back that LastNightsParty.com was now registered to me. I felt like this was a good omen for things
to come. The name sounded iconic before I even had created any galleries for it yet.
THE FIRST THING PEOPLE WILL HEAR ABOUT YOUR WEBSITE IS THE NAME SO
PICK A GOOD ONE. SOMETHING MEMORABLE. SOMETHING SHORT. SOMETHING
THAT MAKES PEOPLE CURIOUS BEFORE THEYVE EVEN SEEN IT. TRY NOT TO THINK
OF A NAME THAT ALREADY SOUNDS LIKE A WEBSITE THAT ALREADY EXISTS OR
IS POPULAR. BE ORIGINAL. REVIVELASTNIGHT.COM, WHATYOUDIDLASTNIGHT.COM

PRE-GAME

11

ETC ARE LAME ATEMPTS AT BASTARDIZING THE LASTNIGHTSPARTY BRAND (SORRY

GUYS). IF YOU CANT BE CREATIVE WITH YOUR NAME, HOW CREATIVE WILL YOU BE
WITH YOUR PHOTOGRAPHS? SOME GREAT NAMES IVE SEEN OUT THERE:
DARKROOMDEMONS
DIRTYDIRTYDANCING
EIGHTMINUTESTOSUNRISE
GUESTOFAGUEST
HOBOGESTAPO
ICANTEACHYOUHOWTODOIT
ISTAYEDUPLATE
KIDPAPARAZZI
NICKYDIGITAL
OUTWITHME
POLAROIDSCENE
SORRYIMISSEDYOURPARTY
TAKEMOREPHOTOS
THECOBRASNAKE
THENIGHTLIGHT
WEAREAWESOME

PRE-GAME

12

ONCE YOUVE FIGURED OUT YOUR NAME REGISTER IT AND GET SOME SERVER SPACE
AND YOURE READY TO LAUNCH A WEBSITE. MAKE SOME BUSINESS CARDS. KEEP IT
SIMPLE. MY FIRST BUSINESS CARD HAD MY WEBSITE NAME IN THE FRONT AND THE
TAGLINE WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT? IN THE BACK. NO NAME, NO IMAGES. I
WANTED IT TO BE THE KIND OF CARD THAT WHEN YOU TOOK IT OUT OF YOUR
POCKET THE NEXT DAY OR WHEN IT FELL OUT OF YOUR POCKET WHEN YOU
WERE DOING LAUNDRY - THAT IT WOULD MAKE YOU SAY OH SHIT MAKE YOUR
NAME ENGAGING ENOUGH FOR SOMEONE TO WANT TO WRITE THAT NAME IN THE
ADDRESS BAR OF THEIR BROWSER AND SEE WHERE IT TAKES THEM.

Get To Know Your Camera

My definition of balance is swinging back and forth between both extremes.
(missing image)
Three months after starting the website and taking thousands of photos with my now beat up
miniature camera, it became obvious that maybe I should buy a better camera. I was starting to
make a name for myself. LastNightsParty got its first feature in Time Out NYC and I was getting
offered real jobs. But here I was still using a camera that had tremendous shutter lag (I knew that term
now!). My camera could not properly focus in the dark. And it was always dark! So for Christmas I
got an SLR camera. I didnt even know what SLR meant. I just knew it was bigger and it should be
better. I couldnt wait to photograph the big New Years Eve party that year at Tribeca Grand with
Peaches. I only had one week to practice with my new camera and figure out all its settings, menus,
pop-up flash and lens. That should have been enough but I ended up getting the flu and I was bedridden for a couple of days. I had to find a way to get to know my camera, while nursing myself
healthy in my apartment. The first thing I did was read the whole manual. I didnt know anything
about f-stops and exposures and shutter speeds and all of that stuff yet, so I just treated my camera
like a video game. I went through each setting and tested what the numbers meant aesthetically
and just memorized that. But what would all this mean in terms of photographing people? For two
nights, December 29th and December 30th, I turned all the lights off in my apartment except for one
lamp, and started to take pictures of every object in my apartment pretending they were people. I
used cereal boxes, my broom, stove appliances, books and whatever else I could find to substitute for
humans. My theory was that if I could make inanimate objects in my apartment look good in photos
that I would be able to make people look even better. By photographing kitchen appliances I learned
that certain angles were better than others. For example shooting from slightly above made things
thinner. Shooting off axis created a pleasing look with the flash. It wasnt long before I realized that
I didnt even have to look through the lens to get a good photo if I just used these geometric angles I
was starting to discover to shoot the things around me. The angle theory I had learned by playing
pool. Not looking through a viewfinder would be better because I could keep eye contact with my
surroundings and with my subject instead of having my eyes glued to a camera. I decided to never

PRE-GAME

13

use the zoom just like I had been forced to do with my mini camera. Because of this, I developed a
deep relationship with the focal length I had chosen for all my photos (28mm) and knew what my
frame looked like without even looking.
Thanks to a lot of chicken soup and pepperoni pizza from across the street I was better by the 31st.
I went out on New Years Eve 2004 to test everything I had learned. I was stunned. Photographing
kitchen appliances for two days in my apartment had actually made me a better photographer!
Ill never forget the first girl I photographed when I walked into the party. Her name was Karen. She
was wearing a glittery dress. She was a brunette. She offered me a glass of champagne. Then I took
a photo of her using my newfound angle theory. Wow. I made her look better than she did in real
life. When she saw the photos, she was glued to me all night.
WHEN YOU GET YOUR NEW CAMERA READ THE WHOLE MANUAL FROM START TO
FINISH. LEARN ABOUT EVERYTHING YOUR NEW TOY CAN DO. NOT BECAUSE YOURE
GOING TO DO IT ALL, BUT SO THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO SOLVE THE CHALLENGES
WHEN THEY COME UP. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST CAMERA, PUT IT ON AUTOMATIC.
LEARN YOUR LENS AND THE FLASH. YOU CAN TAKE AMAZING PHOTOS WORTHY
OF EXHIBITIONS BY ONLY MASTERING THOSE TWO ASPECTS OF YOUR CAMERA.
ITS NOT CHEATING IF YOU USE A CAMERA ON AUTOMATIC. THE TRUTH IS: ALL
THAT DIFFERENTIATES YOU AND OTHER PHOTOGRAPHERS IS WHAT YOU PUT IN
THE FRAME. PEOPLE WITH NEW DIGITAL CAMERAS LOVE TO PLAY AROUND AND
MAKE THEIR PHOTOS LOOK COOL BY TRYING OUT ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES
THE CAMERA HAS TO OFFER. WELL, I GUESS ITS FUN TO PLAY AROUND WITH ALL
THE DIFFERENT SETTINGS BUT WHEN YOURE ACTUALLY OUT AT A PARTY THE
BEST SETTING FOR YOUR CAMERA IS: AUTOMATIC. THE LESS THINKING YOU HAVE
TO DO WHILE TAKING A PARTY PHOTO, THE BETTER. YOU NEED TO STAY IN THE
MOMENT. EACH SECOND SPENT FIDDLING AROUND WITH BUTTONS OR LOOKING
AT MENUS ON A SCREEN ARE SHOTS YOU MAY BE MISSING. THE ONLY TIME YOU
SHOULD CHANGE CAMERA SETTINGS IS WHEN YOURE TRYING TO SOLVE A PROBLEM
POSED BY THE UNIQUE CIRCUMSTANCES IN FRONT OF YOU. BUT 95% OF THE TIME
THERES NO PROBLEM, THERES JUST A PARTY AROUND YOU WAITING FOR YOUR
ATTENTION. I HARDLY EVER USE ANY EFFECTS ON MY PHOTOS. I DONT LIKE TO
DO ANYTHING THAT WILL REMIND PEOPLE ABOUT PHOTOGRAPHY WHEN THEY
LOOK AT MY PICTURES. THE LESS PHOTOGRAPHIC MANIPULATION PEOPLE SEE IN
A PHOTO, THE MORE IT GENUINELY LOOKS LIKE THE MOMENTS PHOTOGRAPHED
WERE EXCITING. LIGHT EFFECTS AND FISHEYE LENSES JUST COMPENSATE FOR ENERGY THAT WASNT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW YOU COMPOSE THE PHOTO
IS WHAT MAKES IT FEEL GOOD. IT CAN BE AN OVEREXPOSED OR BLURRY PICTURE
BUT STILL END UP LOOKING AWESOME IF THE COMPOSITION IS RIGHT. COMPOSITION
IS THE MOST POWERFUL FACET OF PHOTOGRAPHY IF WHAT YOURE LOOKING FOR
IS EMOTIONAL AND AESTHETIC IMPACT. NOONE EVER LOOKED AT A PICTURE AND
SAID, WOW, THATS AN AMAZING PHOTO, IM SURPRISED HE HAD THE CAMERA ON

PRE-GAME

14

AUTOMATIC. REAL PEOPLE DONT CARE ABOUT THAT STUFF. THEY ONLY CARE IF
THE PHOTO LOOKS COOL. AND IF YOU WANT YOUR PHOTOS TO LOOK COOL, MASTER
COMPOSITION.

COMING SOON
Flash!
The Lense Cleanse
Renegade Angles
Take Pictures Everyday
Your Personal Style

AT THE PARTY
Fashionably Early
Candid VS Posed
Master Sign Language
I Have 36 Sarahs In Phone Book
Photographing Groups: Girls VS Boys
The Gay Fabulous
I Only Talk To Beautiful Girls
Muses
Props & Crazy People
A Good Photographer Is A Sadist. A Good Model Is A Masochist
American Gothic
The Three Graces
Its Not Just Music. Its A Soundtrack
The Fortune Fish
Celebrity
Fashion Shows
Womens Bathrooms
More Bathroom Etiquette
Boyfriends
Assistants / The Rosa Story
Photographing A Girl After Her Breakup
When The Party Sucks
Zen And The Art Of Party Photography
Do We Have To Drink To Have Fun?
Nudity, The Burning Of The Bra
Between Photographers

AT THE PARTY

The Party Staff

The Doorman / The Bouncer
Drugs
Different Cities

17

THE COMEDOWN EDITING THE

PHOTOS
Giving People The 15 Minutes That Warhol Promised
Creating An Amazing Photo Album
How Many Photos Do You Take?
The Downtown 300
Dont Use Photoshop
Dear Bronques - Dealing With Please Remove My Photo requests
Business
Steal From The Rich, Give To The Poor