Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Scolding Praising (Complete Book)
Scolding Praising (Complete Book)
Scolding Praising (Complete Book)
CONTENTS
I Scolding and Praising ..................................................... 9
II The Question of Ignorance ...........................................42
III How Spontaneity is Stifled ..........................................64
IV The Elder and Younger Child ........................................77
V Childrens Demands .....................................................93
VI The Physiology of Rebellion ....................................... 107
VII The Tale-Bearing Disposition .................................... 129
VIII Mothers who Vent their Anger Indiscriminately on
their Children ......................................................... 145
IX The Suppression of Demands and Childrens Illnesses ... 173
X Taiheki and the Acceptance of Scoldings ....................... 183
XI Things that Interrupt Growth ..................................... 192
Appendix : Taiheki ....................................................... 235
communicate with them. But there are many cases of this kind
of misjudged scolding.
To return to the other persons understanding what you say, it is
not a matter solely of the words you use. You occasionally come
across someone who, right from the beginning, shouts at the
top of his voice. The other person is scared by his loud voice
and at some point backs down. He doesnt back down because
he understands what the scolding is about; he is persuaded only
by the force with which the words are delivered. It is mistaken
to suppose that if you speak in a loud voice, a scolding will be
understood or children will meekly obey what you say.
Again, if there is a great jumble of problems in your mind and
you voice complaints without having sorted these problems out,
children will not be able to understand, and they will suddenly
become deaf to what you say. If his mother goes too far in
piling up one incomprehensible thing
11
upon another, her son will think to himself, There must be
something wrong with her; and he will suddenly become unable
to hear her scolding. Again, if the manner of scolding is too
frightening, a child will become tongue-tied. He will think that if
he makes a reply, he will only be shouted at the more, so he
simply holds his tongue.
If you distinguish the two aspects of scolding and being scolded,
there is, on the scolding side, the pleasure of giving vent to
ones energy; so that there is a pleasure in scolding, and this
involves the danger of scolding too much. Shouting You stupid
idiot! is pleasurable in some way, and this is the pleasure of
venting energy; but the person who is being scolded feels only
that the scolding is taking an unconscionable time. But the
person who is venting his energy feels that the scolding is taking
scarcely any time at all, and the result is that he tends to say
too much. On the other side though the time is the same for
both the person being scolded feels that the time taken is
extremely long. As the contradictory sayings Day and night
alternate with the speed of an arrow and One day lasts a
thousand years suggest, there are differences
12
in subjectively felt time. The person who is being scolded feels
that one day lasts a thousand years, whereas the person doing
the scolding feels that nights and days are flashing past: he
wags his tongue nineteen to the dozen and forgets the passage
of time.
the newspaper at mealtimes. But what she says is not the real
root of her complaining. Or she may say, You re dawdling
again, you know. Or, Youre looking over there again. But
what she is really saying is: Is it because Im no longer
attractive that you dont look in my direction? Or it may be that
the true complaint is: Im still not unattractive, so you should
look at me a little more often. When she looks in the mirror,
she thinks she has some attractiveness left, but the husband
mostly notices the extent of her foolishness and that is why he
takes refuge in the newspaper. If, at such times, she would
speak gently and attractively, it would be understandable, but
she scolds him by saying, Youve got your nose stuck in the
newspaper again. Why she does this is incomprehensible. In
this
15
way, even a single complaint lacks any kind of polish.
When you scold your husband, what you say will not register
unless you express yourself clearly. This is even more so in the
case of a child or a person less experienced than yourself. a
scolding will never register unless what you say and mean is
understood. When a scolding doesnt register, a child merely
thinks his mother is being silly. You cant guide a child unless
the conditions are such that a scolding registers. When,
however, a child is in a state of fear about being scolded, he
doesnt understand the scolding, which serves only to frighten
him: it is simply a case of using scolding like a knife or a gun, so
that the more you scold in such a way, the less effective it gets;
and the more words that are used in giving a scolding the more
a child will make light of his mother.
Scolding is not a matter of hitting the other persons weak
points. Instead, it is a matter of providing his good points with
the opportunity to develop it is this kind of influence that
scolding properly is. Consequently, merely attacking the others
weak points is not scolding. Some parents will say
16
to their child, Youre not very bright, so unless you study hard,
you wont do as well as so-and-so. The child then comes to
believe that lie is not very bright so it wont make any difference
even if he does study hard, and he says to himself, Im never
going to study. Rather than saying, Youre not very bright, so
youve got to study, it is far more effective to say, You have
the kind of head that gets cleverer if it is used, so why dont you
use it a bit more?
11
13
If you grasp the essence but shift just a little way away from the
mark, the other will find it acceptable; he will have the room to
compare, by himself, his action with what you have said. A
couple of fingerbreadths away from the mark is about right, I
think.
So, whether you are giving praise or delivering a scolding, you
must speak in such a way as to lure the other. Nonetheless,
there are people who have come to suppose that you can give
praise for any reason whatsoever, and they think that so long as
it is praise they are giving, they are doing no harm. On the
other hand, there are people
27
who, having once hit the fatal mark in giving a scolding, will
seize upon the others weak point and dig and dig away at the
wound they have made. It is really a strange thing when a
person has no sympathetic understanding of another, and when
he is totally undiscriminating about time or place. But not
understanding how to scold or how to praise, not understanding
anything about the person you are addressing, making a roughand-ready guess from your own point of view and then shouting
your head off that, I think, is what people are actually doing.
Children are often unable to distinguish between a scolding and
an angry outburst, and I think that the reason lies here.
Children often say, Ive made Mummy angry, or, Mummys
furious; and I think mothers become so easily angry and shout
so loudly that children are not able to realize that they are being
scolded. But if a mother has become angry, she is not qualified
to give a scolding. When you become angry, you unthinkingly
coerce the other; you attack and hurt the other and force your
opinions on him. It is natural to try to escape if someone
attempts to coerce you. Just as a
28
dog will run away when you try to chain it up, so a person will
not think that he is being scolded if within you there is the
intention of forcing or coercing him. He will see you as angry.
There are always aggressive and destructive elements within
anger. And so it is certain that the other will want to get away,
and he will, not unreasonably, cover his ears and keep his
mouth shut.
So long as you dont understand this distinction, you will be
confused, and will at one point scold your child and at another
point shout at him. Consequently, your child will not like being
scolded; he will run away from a scolding, and just as you are
saying, Oh, lets forget about it. So when his wife wants to
buy something that costs 20,000, the husband should suggest
that something which costs 1,000,000 would be better. His
wife will suddenly start calculating in her mind and say to
herself, If we buy that, we shant be able to buy anything
afterwards. Or she will think, Well have
31
to withdraw money from the bank. She will imagine all sorts of
things and feel a conflict within herself. If her husband then
says, Well, wed better wait a bit before buying it, she will also
forget the 20,000 article.
I have said that the root of scolding and praising lies in
understanding the other, but studying the infinite number of
other people one comes across is clearly an extremely difficult
task. Nonetheless, if you put a little effort into studying the
people close to you your children, for example you will
become qualified to deliver a scolding. So, first of all, you must
narrow down the field of study and go into matters deeply.
Then, I think, you will no longer depend on guesswork, you will
not scold again and again, and you will be more systematic.
If, however, once you start speaking, you mix your feelings up
in the matter, you will grow angry before you know it. Having
given vent to their feelings, some parents scurry about and
press sweets on their children. The child of such a mother will
think, If I put up with this for five more minutes, Ill get a
sweet. Scolding involves a venting of feelings, and when a
mother recognizes
32
what she is actually doing while giving a scolding, she begins to
speak gently. She ends by cheering her child up and giving him
sweets. And this kind of mother becomes furious about
something that she herself has done and then looks for the next
opportunity to deliver a scolding. That is why the kind of mother
who gives sweets to her child after scolding it lets loose a flood
of words when she delivers a scolding and is completely
incoherent. I imagine the sort of scolding a person who belongs
to taiheki* type 3 gives is the best example of this. There is no
connection between what is said first and what is said
subsequently. In the end, this kind of mother shouts without
even understanding herself what she is saying.
Whether, in a scolding that lasts five minutes, what is said has
an effect or not depends on the extent to which the person
being scolded has been understood. A child who belongs to
39
other in your debt. You should allow certain implications to
remain unsaid in your scolding. When the situation requires a
force-ten scolding, you should give only a force-three scolding,
and the part that remains unsaid should be left unsaid. It is
important, if you are going to make the other understand, that
you do not say everything, that you miss the mark by three
fingerbreadths, and that your scolding should be only a third of
what the situation deserves.
Regarding the unspoken implications of a scolding, if the other
doesnt recognize their presence in what you say, it is no good.
Saying, Oh, its all right in any situation whatsoever has
nothing to do with implying anything. Having recognized clearly
what needs to be recognized, and having given a scolding for
what requires a scolding, the implications of what you have said
will manifest themselves all the more strongly in what has not
been touched upon. Leaving things unsaid does not mean
holding yourself back for the sake of appearances. Nor does it
mean acquiescing in anything your child does in order to
demonstrate your broad-mindedness. A true scolding is for the
40
take of making the other a better person, even though what is
said may be bitter in your mouth, and even though it may make
the other resentful.
41
Again, even though your son slammed the door on his friends
finger in order to defend his toys, he didnt mean to hurt his
friend. He is not even conscious that doing something like this is
wrong. He is at that stage of life. I suspect that a child who has
once shut his own finger in a door will unconsciously avoid doing
the same to others. Even a child hesitates a little before giving
another person this kind of unpleasant experience. Through this
sort of thing, a child gradually comes to recognize the existence
of others, and develops into an adult.
There are the buds of this within every child. So if your child has
had a particularly painful or bitter experience, he will be able to
think of the other; but if he has had no such experience, he will
not connect slamming his friends finger in the door with pain.
We may suppose that he has had the
44
experience of shutting a piece of paper in the door, and
assumed that there was no difference between doing this and
slamming the door on someones finger.
You heard about those children who played by putting stones
and coins on the railway track. Children never think that a train
might be derailed and topple over; they are interested only in
seeing a coin flattened out or a stone broken into pieces. Of
course they know nothing about its being a crime to obstruct
trains, and they do not understand that their actions involve
danger. No, it is because they do not know these things that
they act as they do. If they did know, they would feel
frightened, and I suspect they would not be able to act in such a
way.
Not knowing, and doing anything, however bad, without a
qualm are connected. For this reason, I think one can say that
ignorance is the worst of evils.
Thus, in this case of the small boy slamming his friends finger
in a door, the boy felt no guilt whatsoever. It is because of
ignorance. Even though the other cries out in pain, he cannot
connect the others crying with the doors having been slammed
on his
45
finger. The most he does is wonder why the other is crying, and
he might think he is doing so only to scare him.
This kind of thing often occurs among adults, too. There was a
story in the newspapers about a man who suffered from
whiplash when his car was struck by another. As a result, he got
the other driver to sign a pledge that he would pay him
damages for the rest of his life. A little later the man who had
signed the pledge killed him. By getting the other to pay him
damages for the rest of his life, the injured person was in fact
inflicting injury. One might say that he was using the fact of his
having been crashed into to intimidate the other. When you
persist with a selfish idea like his, that is the kind of thing that
happens. But if you take the other into consideration, you are
unlikely to make unreasonable demands, such as getting
someone to pay you damages for life. I think one can say that
the man in questions blatancy in seeking what he sought was
due to his not having become adult. But this kind of thing comes
out much more directly in the childs world. Moreover, the adult
knows how to make use of this kind of ignorance, but the
46
child really is ignorant, so that, unless you teach him, it is
beyond his powers to realize that slamming the door on
someones finger is bad.
The consequence of this fact is that while a child doesnt know
these things, it is meaningless to smack his hands or bottom as
a punishment. If one does this, a child will become scared of
being scolded and he will try to prevent adults from finding out
what he has done. Then, however much you may try to discuss
the matter with your child, your feeling of wanting to scold him
will manifest itself first, and what you say will not be
communicated. And on the other side the child is unable to
understand why he is being scolded. It is because he has no
experience of the pain that results from a door being slammed
on a finger, nor has he the knowledge that pain is a necessary
consequence of this happening.
In this kind of case, you should analyze the childs action and
endeavor to grasp for which aspect of his action he should be
scolded. I have said before that you should not give a scolding
that the other doesnt understand. In this case, the friends
finger was shut in the door, and so the child may
47
well think that it was not him but the door that was directly
responsible. It was he who slammed the door, but the door did
the actual deed, so how can he know the extent of the pain that
was caused? I suspect that there is this kind of idea in the
23
badly, but even at the age of seventy you may not be able to
act on this knowledge. Though people tend to suppose that if
you know, you dont do certain things, it doesnt work like this.
This is true of adults, and it is even more true of children.
You may teach a child that it hurts when your fingers are caught
in a door, but it is quite possible that he will use this knowledge
in a manner opposite to the one intended and think to himself:
If I pinch his fingers in the door, itll definitely hurt. I wonder
how much he will cry if I do it. And a desire arises to
intentionally try this out. Adults suppose that if they once tell a
child that shutting a door on someones fingers will cause injury
and pain, the child will never hurt another in this way again, but
I can categorically state that this is not the case. The reason is
that children, unlike adults, find other peoples pain
unimaginable.
54
A child may think, Itll be fun to slam the door on so-and-sos
fingers. I bet hell cry. Or it may be that a child will think,
When you drop a bottle from the window, its all smashed to
bits, and itd be fun if so-and-sos head was smashed into little
bits. And he may push a child who is standing by the window
out of it. Though you may impart knowledge to a child, it is
unwise to rely on the childs own judgment in the matter of
using that knowledge.
One cannot, in actuality, treat a child as a fool because he is
ignorant. Various kinds of new knowledge will be entering him,
and on the other hand he is able to give birth to new things. An
adult is bound by the prejudice that he already knows it all, and
his knowledge no longer increases. But the ignorant child
possesses broader possibilities than someone who already
knows things. Within ignorance there is an unshackled sagacity
that brings new things to birth. For this reason I believe that
ignorance should be respected. But ignorance that results in
harm to others is a bad thing. To go back to the question of
what happens after knowledge is imparted, adults suppose that
once knowledge has been given, that is impart knowledge to a
child, it is
55
the end of it. But it is quite possible to misuse knowledge. And
children do not even understand what is good and what is bad.
One cannot say that adults understand fully, either. A spy is
praised for stealing secrets, but if after giving up spying he
steals other peoples things, his actions are reprehensible. In a
27
time of war, the more people you kill, the more you are
honored. But if, after returning from a war, you kill people, you
will be executed as a murderer.
As these examples show, even adults do not understand fully
what is good and what is bad. An adult knows to think that a
certain action is good or bad only in accordance with the ethical
ideas held in common by a society, and he does not truly feel
this in his heart. But it is impossible to act in accordance with
something that you dont truly feel in your heart. Though, for
this reason, more and more adults nowadays can act neither
well nor badly, children, who are ignorant, have the possibility
of gaining knowledge, and they also have the possibility of using
this knowledge freely, for good or for ill.
So when you are imparting knowledge to a child, you must
teach, at the same time,
56
the ethical rules of your society. But if you teach only these
rules, they will not be connected with action. It is by means of
experience that ideas of right and wrong become linked with
action. It is because all experience involves the subconscious. I
shall say it again, but ignorance in a child is not the same as
lacking sagacity or wisdom. Understanding that if a bottle is
dropped from a window it breaks is knowledge. And supposing
that if you push some nasty person out of the window he will be
broken in the same way is wisdom. But if a child has wisdom, I
think it is better to direct the subconscious workings of wisdom
in such a way that the child comes to feel he must see that
nobody falls from a window and hurts himself.
The mother here smacked her sons hands and bottom. By
spanking him first, she aroused in him a feeling of resistance to
any scolding, as well as resentment against the child who had
been hurt and was crying. Then she tried to address her son.
But there is nothing to be gained from going about the matter in
this way. The child probably thinks that while he was shutting
the door the other stuck his finger in it, and now he
57
has been spanked because of the others stupidity. In this way,
a feeling of hatred towards the other child grows and grows.
Because he doesnt understand the reason for his having been
spanked, he resents the spanking, and, I suspect, has no outlet
for his indignation. After the spanking, we were told, the
mother, instead of scolding her child firmly, tried to speak to
him. But when you speak to a child in an attempt to make him
child will understand very clearly if you punish him in this way.
And when the child shrieks, It hurts! and bursts into tears, you
say, The other child was hurt, too, you know, and then
apologize to your child. If you say, Im sorry I hurt you out of a
desire to teach you what it was like, your child will definitely go
and apologize to the other child in the same way.
But of course I am not seriously recommending that you should,
so to speak, throw a stone at a child merely because he has
raised a lump on himself by hitting himself against a stone, and
raise another lump. It is a matter of the way in which
experience is provided. When you teach
60
children various things, you must put these things in order.
Smacking a childs bottom or hands because he has pinched his
friends fingers in the door is pointless. You have to teach him
that if someones fingers are slammed in the door, it hurts. At
the same time, you must teach him that being hurt is
unpleasant, as well as what is best to do in this kind of case,
and how to apologize and talk the matter over.
But for this you need to take precautions against the childs
native wisdom working in an undesirable direction. If you scold
a child a lot in an incomprehensible way, he will not only resist
the scolding, he will resist your voice as well as what you are
trying to teach him. Time drags for the person who is being
scolded. Delivering a scolding is a way of venting energy, so
that it is enjoyable; but it is not enjoyable for the person on the
receiving end. Just as time feels very different to the person
who is being beaten and the person who is doing the beating, so
it always seems to take a long time when one is being scolded,
and it feels much longer when one is scolded in an
incomprehensible and repetitive way. If you give a scolding in
this manner, everything,
61
from your voice to the speed of your delivery, the content of
what you say and the reason you give for the scolding, will
arouse resistance in the child; and this turns into a feeling of
hatred for the other. This happens with adults, too, but in the
case of children, it is much more direct.
I smacked his hands and bottom such a punishment is not
fitting. Doing something that is unfitting is no different from
delivering
an
incomprehensible
scolding.
And
an
incomprehensible scolding that is combined with this kind of
31
39
45
Childrens Demands
Question : When parents overlook their childrens demands, the
latter do all sorts of naughty things. What should be done in
such a case?
Answer: When we are speaking of childrens demands, there is,
first of all, the question as to what we recognize as demands.
You spoke about demands being overlooked, but unless we are
clear about what demands are, there can be no real
understanding. For example, when your younger son comes to
you with tears in his eyes and appeals to you with Please hit
my big brother, that is definitely a demand. He is attempting to
use his parents strength to make up for his own lack of
strength. It shows great cleverness on his part. If you
93
recognize this cleverness, say, Right, Ill give him a clout, and
then actually give elder son a clout, do you think you have met
your younger sons demand? Indubitably, the boy has shown
that he is clever, but would it not be better if his parents sought
to make this cleverness work along rather different lines, and, in
addition, demonstrated to the child the cleverness of his
parents? On occasions like this, it is not a bad idea to give
recognition to the childs cleverness by saying, Thats a clever
way off thinking; and to let him recognize himself that he has
clever ideas. It is, however, doubtful whether words like Please
hit my big brother should, as such, be realized as a demand of
the child.
It often happens that when guests are present, a child will make
a great racket or will ask in front of the guests for a piece of a
biscuit or a sweet. I imagine that many mothers must have had
the experience being embarrassed by their children taking
something that is intended for the guests. Can we regard this as
a demand on the part of the child or not?
The mother is concerned only with her guests, and forgets that
the child exists. Not
94
only that: she holds her child in check with, Be quiet! and,
Dont do that! For the child, it is distressing to be forgotten,
and so he shows off in front of his mother, makes a noise, and
gets scolded. When a child says, Give me a sweet in front of
guests, there is, within his behavior, the childs wisdom that he
wont be smacked in these circumstances. He feels secure and
49
comes before the guests; and then he bears off his prize. The
child thinks, in his childish way, that though he may be scolded
afterwards, he is quite safe now, and that at least while the
guests are present his mother wont chase after him. And he
acts accordingly.
In this kind of case, it is necessary to consider whether the child
really feels a demand to have something sweet or to make a
fuss. Of course, on a rainy day, when children are shut in a
room, they make a great noise, squabble among themselves
and break things; and they do this as a result of a demand felt
in the body. But in the case of showing off in order to get a
sweet and making a racket when guests are in the home, it is
not the result of a demand to eat something sweet or a demand
to make a noise. The child wants to draw his mothers
95
eyes to him, and he doesnt want to be forgotten. It is a
demand that his mother should not pay attention only to the
guests, but should give him due attention too.
When they scold their children, many mothers deliver a really
concentrated scolding. As a result, their children behave, more
than ever, in a way that merits a scolding. It is because they
feel a demand to draw their mothers attention, and the more a
mother gets angry, the more her child will do the same again.
In reality, though a child may do the same again and again, it is
not because he wants his mother to be angry with him, but
because of a demand to have his mothers attention.
Things like this happen for as long as the mothers attention is
directed elsewhere. Children may injure themselves at such a
time, or fall ill. Though I speak of a demand, it is not one of
which the child himself is aware; it is an unconscious demand.
And so it does not only manifest itself in the childs behavior,
but causes a variety of changes within the childs body. It often
happens that a child falls ill or unexpectedly injures itself. And
there are parents who will scold an injured child and
96
ask, Why on earth did you hurt yourself like that? But it is
because the attention a parent has given the child has been
insufficient. Even so, it is not that there are not ways of
compensating for this.
For example, when a child has, say, simply grazed his fingertip,
you should bandage up the whole finger, or the whole hand as
far as to the wrist. If you make a splendid show of winding the
bandage around his hand and then put his arm in a sling, the
55
you still havent hit me you havent even got near me. Its
because youre throwing heavy things. If you throw something
light, youll be able to hit even a distant mark. Why dont you
try hitting this cushion with that ball? You still havent hit it
youre still away from the mark. Its no good unless you hit it
right in the center, you know. Youll have to practice and
practice, however long it takes Then next morning you should
get him to practice. If he doesnt hit the target, say, Youre still
not very good at it, youre still not hitting it properly; and get
him to practice until he hits it. If he starts throwing other
things, you should tell him, You promised, and you must keep
to it; and get him to practice again and again until he throws
properly at
115
the target. If, in this way, you get your child to practice
throwing a ball or something else at a target, you will find,
generally, that the child loses the desire to throw things after
about ten days.
A child may throw things, but, considered in itself, throwing
things is not wrong. It is wrong to miss the mark. If he throws
without aiming at something, he will be indiscriminate as to
what he throws. Again, if he throws things in any direction, he
may well break something. So the best thing is to get him to
throw a ball at a cushion. And then, once he has become able to
do this successfully, you can let fall the idea: Youll be able to
play baseball now, wont you? And then you can get him to join
a baseball team, or you could teach him how to use a racquet
next and then let fall the idea: You can play tennis, too, now,
cant you? If you do this kind of thing, throwing things will
gradually take on a different significance for the child. Thus, you
should adopt the course of teaching him to throw at a mark in
connection with some kind of sporting activity.
As I listened to the question I was asked, my attention was
particularly drawn to the
116
problem as to why a child who himself recognizes that a certain
action is wrong and apologizes on his own initiative should so
suddenly lose control over himself. But this is not something
that happens only in the case of children: it happens with
adults, too. You come across people who after shouting at the
tops of their voices feel regret for what they have done, because
they feel it was wrong. Indeed, you often come across people
61
who, though they realize at the time they are doing something
wrong, cannot forbear from giving a scolding to someone else.
Merely as a result of holding themselves from passing water,
people grow restless and fidgety, and simply as a result of
feeling hungry, they grow irritable and touchy. In America, there
is something called psychosomatic medicine. It is a branch of
medicine that studies the various changes that occur as a result
of the minds influencing the body. But these people forget that
the states of the body have a variety of effects on the mind.
When you grow hungry, you become anxious and discouraged,
and the more you bear your hunger, the more irritable you
grow. Just as holding yourself back from passing water makes
you fidgety,
117
so the body affects the mind in various ways: the workings of
your stomach have to do with your likes and dislikes; the
workings of the urinary organs have to do with the spirit of
competition. The condition of each part of the body is reflected
in the mind in its own peculiar way.
There was one child who, once he had started crying, would cry
for as long as one or two hours. I had observed this child from
the time he was born, and he would always, after crying, pass
water. I dont know how many times he managed to wet me,
but through my providing sh (seitai guidance), his body came
to be ordered, and he stopped passing water in this way. He
would calm down once you got him to pass water. Get him to do
this, and he would stop crying. In this way, I came to
understand the connections between the workings of the urinary
organs, persistent crying, and obstinacy.
In those days, we had a thing called the Privy Council, and if a
bill was brought before this council, debate was invariably
extraordinarily protracted. The Privy Council was made up of old
men. All old men possess somewhere an obstinate streak, and
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since this council was made up of old men, everything seized
up. Obstinacy means that you cant change direction because
your capacity for movement is poor. I realized that, naturally,
the same applies to the mind. When the urinary organs are not
functioning well, a person grows more and more obstinate, and
more and more emulous.
If we look at the matter in terms of taiheki, people who belong
to nejire-gata are obstinate and emulous. The body of this type
is such that the urinary system is easily affected, as in the case
water every ten minutes, his kidneys are not functioning as they
should. So the mother, rather than thinking of his behavior as
manifesting his mental state and trying to correct this, must
turn her attention to correcting the twisted state of his body.
Everybody supposes that a mental problem can be cured by
dealing
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with the mind, or by means of words, and as a result bringing
up children is made difficult. But from the beginning mind and
body are one indivisible thing. They are not separate things.
People are neither ghosts nor machines. So it is wrong to divide
up the study of man into separate disciplines, such as
psychology and physiology. There is nobody who is divided up in
this way; a person is a single totality.
In dealing with a case like that of the boy in question, one
simply adopts the approach used in correcting nejire-gata, or
one corrects the disordered condition of the urinary organs. For
the rest, the mother should turn her attention to the child, or
she should teach him to find some other way of getting her
attention. At the age of five, a child begins to think that
behavior of the kind we have been talking about is not very
good. So in this case I think that the childs present behavior,
which derives from the demand to get his mothers attention,
will soon stop. And then, should he have, on occasion, this kind
of fit, it can be dealt with by correcting the condition of the
urinary organs.
If the mother who asked the question
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knows how to do yuki, she should do yuki to both sides of the
childs lower back before he goes to sleep or after he has gone
to sleep, and then she should do yuki to the back of his head,
again on both sides. One thing more: before the child grows so
violently angry in the way that has been described, the crown of
the head will have become thrust upwards. So, before the child
sleeps, having done yuki to his lower back and the back of his
head, it is a good idea to do yuki to the crown of his head. If
you observe your childs body carefully, you will see that it has
periodic patterns. For example, there are ten-day cycles and
seven-day cycles, and when the peaks of these cycles coincide,
on, say, a Friday that is the fourth, fourteenth or twenty-fourth
of the month, the child will vent out the energy in his body. If
you can detect this pattern, then on the day before he is due to
vent out his energy, you should do yuki to him, and he will pass
67
ones own life the least bit more attractive. Then why do people
waste their time by going about and telling tales? Perhaps it is
for the sake of profiting from the victims being looked askance
at by everybody else. It may be that the tale-bearer speaks
badly of others with the intention of appearing attractive
himself. When a wife says to her husband, Mrs. So-and-sos got
a patch of discolored skin in such and such a place or, Mrs. Soand-sos handwriting is appalling, what she wants to say is that
Mrs. So-and-so may have an attractive face, but shes stupid, or
that though she may look very fine, shes not a cultivated
person. As for why a wife should say such things, it is because
she has no confidence in herself. So the husband may listen to
such tale-telling without feeling concerned. If you look into the
heart of someone who tells tales, you cannot always say that
telling tales is wrong. It is a confession of a lack of confidence. A
person who
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thinks his abilities are greater than someone elses will not
speak badly of this other even if he is an enemy. On the
contrary, he will go so far as to praise him.
If you look at it in this way, tale-bearing is not in itself wrong,
but you will rather feel sympathy for someone who cannot live
in peace of heart unless he or she tells tales about others. In the
case of Tae, unless you guide her in such a way that she gains
confidence in herself, there is no possibility of your stopping her
from telling tales if you only scold her for doing so. The problem
is not that of telling tales, it is that of the disposition which
wants to tell tales. If you do not guide the disposition and check
only the action, there will definitely be a reaction in the childs
sensibility. The disposition of the sensibility is made stronger
when it is restrained.
It is in the last two or three weeks that Taes tale-bearing has
started to grow worse and worse. If you determine the cause of
this, you can find out how to deal with it. If you carefully
consider Taes actions over the past two or three weeks and
analyze them, you will open up a road. Cast your minds back to
what happened two or three weeks
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ago, and you will remember that all the children cleaned up the
main hall of the temple together. And after that they started to
tidy up their own rooms. Tae, like everybody else, set to and
tidied up her room. At that time her mother praised her by
saying, Youve made it much tidier than Yo has made his room.
everybody. But Tae had come to believe that she was inferior to
Yo, and so, through her excessive desire to have the concern of
others, she began telling tales.
Consequently, even though you try to check her tale-bearing,
the disposition to tell tales will not grow the slightest bit weaker.
Her mother should go back beyond the first scolding she gave,
and recognize Tae as a tidy girl. If Tae feels she is a tidy girl,
there is no problem of skill involved of being good or bad at
tidying things up; and so Tae will be able to do without her
sense of being in opposition to Yo. I hope that within a few days
everybody will be totally unconcerned about tale-bearing.
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I had taken several families to this place of refuge, and it
transpired that the same action on the part of a child would
bring praise in one household, but would result in a scolding in
another. This kind of thing is confusing for children, and so I
organized discussion meetings every other night in order to
bring together the parents ideas. There I spoke on the subject
of My ideas of bringing up children. That was twenty-odd
years ago, but my ideas have not changed in any respect. Even
though the war is over and we now live in a different age, there
is nothing that needs to be changed. This is because I am
looking only at the way in which a child becomes healthy both in
body and in mind.
And in the case of the child we have just heard about, I also
think that those adults are unkind who make a fuss about a
childs tale-bearing and drive the child into a more and more
unhealthy frame of mind. To listen to the tales a child tells and
to take the act of telling tales at its face value is scarcely an
adult thing to do. Do not, therefore, listen to the tales a child
tells. But you should, nonetheless, recognize the disposition that
wants to tell tales, and think about
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how this disposition may be guided in a more desirable
direction.
Tale-bearing has bad connotations, but it is not always a bad
thing. Various criminals are caught as a result of someones
telling tales. All sorts of things in this world are created by the
telling of tales. Rumors are a kind of tale-telling. Saying things
like, That restaurants very good, or, That restaurants
terrible is telling tales. Because these kinds of tales are told, a
shopkeeper who is confident of the quality of the things he sells
can without advertising hold his head high and feel no
the case of the boys sumo wrestling. At that time, there was a
boy in the childrens sumo group who was the third strongest.
His parents, however, belonged to taiheki type 5, and in
consequence they were sensitive about profit and loss, and did
not comprehend the joy of simply wrestling. So they attached
importance to something that could be calculated: the ratio of
wins to losses. They made their son write in a diary the various
good things he had done everyday, as well as the various bad
things. And they got him to do one good deed a day. When I
remarked that only one good deed a
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day was a bit on the mean side, they made him do ten. And so
it went on: they respected only those things they could see with
their own eyes. The enjoyment of sumo cannot be calculated,
and so they got their son to keep a record of his wins. The result
was that he came to do sumo solely in order to win. If a
stronger boy said, Come on, lets have a bout, to him, he
would get out of it, and he would fight only with boys weaker
than himself. When he and his opponent were evenly matched,
he would leap suddenly to the attack, or trip his opponent from
behind; he would use any means to win. Sumo wrestling is
enjoyable because one follows various rituals and then fights
fairly, but in his case there was no enjoyment. The
consequence? Before the boy realized it, the other children were
saying that he was a dirty fighter, and they no longer wanted to
wrestle with him. In this case, too, it was not that the child was
innately a dirty fighter. It was that his parents took account
only of wins and losses, and looked only at what was obvious. If
his parents had had the kind of sensibility that allowed them to
recognize things that were not concrete like
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enjoyment or loneliness they would have understood the
loneliness of their son, who, without his intending it, made the
other children say, We shant play with him, and, Hes a dirty
fighter, and excluded himself from the group. But they did not
understand this. Of course, since they did not understand the
enjoyment of wrestling, they didnt understand loneliness,
either. They attached importance only to visible records, and
saw only wins and losses, profit and loss. Indeed, if this couple
were told, Youll make this much money if you do such-andsuch, they would act like a shot, without considering whether
what they were doing was good or bad. It may be that their son
had similar elements in his nature, but he had, as all children
do, a pure mind, and he came to act as he did as a result of his
75
77
intention, she thought she was going to do what she had been
asked to do, but this was not translated into action. This being
the case, it is surely a problem of the body.
Thus, even in cases that are normally regarded as showing a
weakness of the will, one finds, if one considers them carefully,
that many of them do not involve a weakness of the will. So
long as a person is thinking of doing something, it is not that
there is no will to do it. A person who is really weak-willed
doesnt even have the will to do whatever it may be. A desire to
do such-and-such does not arise spontaneously in a person who
has been brought up by means of corporal punishment and
spiritual coercion: a person like this only waits to be ordered to
do something by someone else, and, doesnt think of doing it on
his own initiative. This is the way to castrate a
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human being, and so it is wrong.
In general, if you carefully observe people who are said to be
weak-willed, the head may be slack, the lower back may be
stiff, or the locomotive system or the nerves that govern this
system may be dull. Though such a person may be sound in
limb, the heart I mean the physical organ may be weak, or
the stomach may not be functioning well. You will find in
surprisingly many cases that a so-called weakness of will is
directly connected with the workings of the body itself.
If, on the contrary, energy builds up excessively, it may happen
that an action is quickly accomplished at the prompting of a
mere velleity. One of my students said, Yes, and disappeared
like a flash as soon as I asked him to run an errand for me. And
then he phoned from the station and asked, Where am I
supposed to go? And what is it Im supposed to be doing?
People in whom energy constantly builds up cannot repress the
desire to do something, whatever it is, and as soon as this boy
was asked to do something, he developed a desire to do it and
rushed out. I think it was only when he was about to buy a
ticket that the question
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Ah! Where am I supposed to go? sprang into his mind.
This kind of thing, too, comes under the rubric of sensitivity.
Though the mother in question suggests that her son is
sensitive and she is surely not mistaken in recognizing this
sensitivity which means that the body is beyond control cannot
heart. The
distinction.
education.
question of
But human beings can make flowers that do not wither and
cannot be lost. That is what attractiveness lies in. But to stick
under someones nose something that was attractive in youth
that is not what attractiveness consists in. If you vest yourself
in qualities that have been won through discipline and training,
in qualities that may be thought of as being indispensable
this becomes attractiveness.
Having heard this, some people, I suspect, will hasten to put on
a nice kimono and zealously polish their faces. But this is only
because they have nothing in their heads, and it is not what
being attractive means. Just after marriage a woman may
169
polish her face and a man may be enamored of this splendidly
polished face, but if there are not, within the grand movement
of life, delicate activities of the heart, things that were attractive
before the lapse of thirty years will not remain so. A man will
merely say, How pretty you are! You look like just like a doll!
And he will lose any further interest.
So you have to change your thinking in this connection. But
though you may manifest your attractive qualities, it will be
meaningless if your partners body is in poor shape. So I should
like you to think about using the method I have described, and
also about the road you will walk in the future.
In this case, the mother is not especially at fault, and even
though she shouts at her child, one can regard this as natural.
But she lacks the sense to keep her body in good trim. And she
definitely feels somewhere that the responsibility for supporting
the family lies with her husband, and she has no resolve to
shoulder the many responsibilities of life in society. She only
thinks that her husband has the responsibility to provide for the
family, and her state of mind is such
170
that she never calls to mind the responsibilities that she should
shoulder. Even if this is not the case, she has narrowed down
the responsibilities she should take upon herself, and she
probably remains unaware of this in her daily life. If she
shoulders her responsibilities in a proper way, she will probably
not reach the point of venting her anger indiscriminately on her
child, however much excess energy she has.
At the same time, she must work a change on her husband as
well. If she doesnt, theirs cannot be called a life in which each
manifests humanity to the other. Of course, the kind of life led
89
from this kind of suppression, this girl hasnt had even one
further attack. Instead of using frowns and scoldings to
suppress the desire to behave in an unrestrained way, it is far
more effective to make use of the childs sensibility. But one
must be careful, for the adverse effects can be as great as the
beneficial ones.
Falling ill is still a physiological phenomenon, but a retrocessive
attack by a demand to act in an unrestrained way often distorts
the personality. When this happens, a child begins doing only
bad things. He knows that stealing and other actions are
reprehensible but nevertheless he does them and will make no
excuses when he is scolded, but will stay silent. Then he will
lock himself in the lavatory and weep quietly to himself. He will
not weep in front of other people. On the contrary, when faced
with a scolding, he will wear a completely unconcerned
expression. These reactions derive from a desire to be
pampered and a masochistic pleasure in being scolded. When
the personality has developed in this way, the body, too,
becomes distorted. But the child doesnt fall ill; he becomes
weak, easily tired, depressed. After this stage, the pathological
181
tendency that derives from
becomes clearer and clearer.
182
95
See appendix
97
101
like a padded jacket on top, and under that there was some kind
of padded material, then a woolen garment, and another woolen
garment altogether, there were seven or eight layers of
clothing. I removed all these layers, and after five minutes I
took the childs temperature. It was 37 degrees. Then I turned
off the stove, put a light garment on the boy, created conditions
in which he could maintain a temperature of between 36.5 and
37 degrees, and laid him on the bed. After that, there was no
high fever, and the boy completely recovered. Subsequently, his
parents remarked on how skillful I was, but it wasnt a question
of that. I merely made conditions such that they suited the
natural workings of the babys body. You may
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concentratedly do yuki, but it will not make a child better so
long as you ignore the special characteristics of the child and
maintain conditions that dont suit it. In the case Ive just told
you of, the parents had been hard at work doing yuki, but you
have first of all to create sensible conditions that dont put a
burden on the babys body.
In the case of another child, the mother said, The babys
sweating, so Ill put him where theres a breeze blowing so that
he gets cool. She laid the baby down in a place where a breeze
was blowing, and the result was that the baby developed central
pneumonia and died. With central pneumonia, there is no fever
and no coughing: the baby simply dies.
However great a childs powers of resistance may be said to be,
these powers cannot stand up to a stimulus that is too extreme.
When a baby is not sweating, it doesnt matter if you expose it
to a breeze, but if you make a child sweat by putting lots of
clothes on it, then it is wrong to put it in a breezy place. What
you must do is, naturally, dress the child in clothes that are
right for the temperature at a given time, and then be careful
about ventilation and draughts.
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Still, in the summer its a good idea to put a baby in a cool place
where the air circulates well, and in the winter its best to put a
baby in a warm place. In both seasons, a baby should be put in
a room where the temperature is comfortable for it.
When you take a baby outside with you, you must wrap it up
well; and when you come back inside the house again, you
should not leave the coverings on. When an adult comes inside,
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seriously ill does not necessarily entail that the illness itself is a
serious one, and one cannot predict that because an illness was
light, it will be light next time, too. It is very important, then, to
note these peaks of growth in the child and especially the
growth of the nervous system as they occur. If one doesnt
consider seitai guidance in relation to these waves, one cannot
be thought of as pursuing
208
the true road.
The capacity to see develops soon after birth, but the complete
development of the sexual organs takes twenty five or twenty
six years. Parts of a babys body grow rapidly, and parts grow
slowly. If you observe things carefully, you will see, for
example, that the arms grow and then the legs grow, and that
in the case of either the arms or the legs, it is the right side that
grows and then the left. In this way, everything changes part by
part and little by little, and each part moves towards the
completion of its development. It is not the case that after birth
a childs bodily form remains the same, every part growing
uniformly. Consequently, it is necessary to determine what the
tendencies of a childs growth are and to give sh accordingly.
The bodies of adults, though, are corpses of the past that are
merely living on, and so, if you give any adult, whoever he or
she is, much the same kind of sh, you wont be making any
serious mistake. After reaching the age of twenty two or twenty
three, one is already turned towards death and one is merely
continuing to live through the force of inertia; and so theres
little scope for fiddling about. Therefore, in
209
the case of the adult, you have to attend to the illness rather
than to the body.
But a child has a growing body and a growing life. The childs
body is being tempered by external stimuli, and it is being built
up in this way so as to be able to adapt to external conditions.
For example, when you go to the seaside, first your skin gets
red, then it feels sore, and after that it starts getting darker.
The next day, the skin will have already grown darker and the
pain will have stopped, so that rubbing in cream or treating your
skin in some other way because it is red is unnecessary. A
childs illness is a similar process, or you might think of it as an
abnormal condition deriving from the process of growth which is
trying to maintain the child in a normal condition. So a childs
illness is not something that is simply to be cured. It is
111
those places that have aged too quickly. If this is done, you
wont develop diabetes even though you take in
214
too much nutrition in that respect youll be like a child. Do
you agree with what I say, or disagree with it? If you agree, you
will get better
Of course I agree with you, he said, and then I reinvigorated
him a little.
After that, even though he didnt change his eating habits at all,
the sugar in his urine decreased. When he went to his doctor,
the sugar level in his body was measured. It had fallen hugely.
Its very nearly normal, the doctor said. I wonder why.
Perhaps its because youve kept strictly to the diet
Youre wrong, the photographer replied. Ive done the
complete opposite of keeping to a diet. I realized it was you who
gave me diabetes, and so I stopped doing everything you
recommended.
And once he had said that, he immediately felt as though a load
had been taken from his shoulders, and he really did become as
fit as a fiddle.
But in fact things were not quite as I told you. There was a
place that had become shrunken, a place where there was an
obstruction. The photographer felt relieved because this
shrunken place was corrected,
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and I suspect it was with the power produced by his sense of
relief that he confronted the doctor. So, even in the case of an
adult, if you remove an obstruction, it may happen that an
illness like diabetes gets better.
But particularly in the case of a child, you must ask yourself,
when, say, a child is irritable or cannot concentrate, whether
there is not some obstruction to growth somewhere. Again,
when a child is cross and loses its temper in an uncontrollable
way, you should rather think that growth is perhaps obstructed
somewhere in the body, and in the case of a crybaby you should
ask yourself whether the crying is a true expression of the
childs personality or whether it is due to an obstruction to
growth. Even though there is no illness, all sorts of changes will
occur simply as a result of there being an obstruction
somewhere in a childs body: the child will feel listless or
irritable, or it will pick fights, cry, be unable to concentrate or be
ill-tempered. If you are not good at perceiving as connected
changes like these and obstructions to growth, then you will not
be able to give proper seitai guidance to children.
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When a child is depressed, retreats into itself for no reason, is
unable to say what it wants to say, and at school doesnt raise
its hand even though it knows the answer, the elasticity of some
part of the skin will be poor. If you restore the elasticity of this
place, these attitudes will disappear. And when a child is overly
shy, or passive, or slow to act, or cannot react immediately, you
should ask yourself whether the childs belly has contracted.
When a childs belly looks small, it means that the nervous
system has become over-sensitive in its development because
adults have been pernickety, telling the child what to do and
what not to do too much. When adults do this, a child becomes
indecisive, and the elasticity of the lower back is reduced. If, in
such a case, the lower back is stretched, a child who has
retreated into itself will grow cheerful, and a child who does not
do what it wants to do, will become able to make decisions. But
the belly will get larger than normal for a while before this
happens, and during this period, the child will revert to an
earlier, babyish stage. After that, the belly will return to its,
normal size.
If, when you check the resilience of a
217
childs belly, it is stiff, you need to consider whether there is not
a tendency in the child to be indecisive. And in the case of
restlessness, there is some kind of disorder in the urinary
system; if this happens, the nose will be affected or the throat
will hurt. And then the child will not be able to say with
conviction that such-and-such is so, and what it says at one
moment will be changed at the next. Certain children have very
strong imaginations; that is to say, they make up fabulous
stories. Making up stories comes naturally to children, but some
children go on and on, and, as they do so, their stories draw
closer to reality. A story about climbing up a beanstalk to the
sky is attractive, but when you repeat it every day, you begin to
feel that you cant go up to the sky quite so often, and so your
stories gradually draw closer to reality. And the closer to reality
they draw, the more they begin to resemble the lies of an adult.
And then people begin to think of such a child as a liar. But in
this kind of case, what has happened is that the twelfth thoracic
vertebra has become attached to the bone immediately below
it: the first lumbar vertebra. So if you adjust the place that is
not growing, or whose
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218
growth is obstructed, the child will come to have a normal
personality.
When a child grows over-excited and wont go to sleep, or when
its excitement continues to mount however much its mother
tries to calm it down, the mother supposes that it is simply a
question of excessive playfulness. In fact, it is because there is
some obstruction to urination. The mother doesnt realize this.
If she would simply drag the child to the lavatory and get it to
pass water, the problem would be solved. If, however, the child
behaves like this all the time, it is because the tenth thoracic
vertebra is out of place. Do yuki to this vertebra, and the
problem will be over.
If you look at matters in this kind of way, you will realize that in
the case of over-excitedness, there is an abnormality in the
tenth thoracic vertebra; that in the case of a child whose
attention constantly wanders, there is an abnormality in the
sixth thoracic vertebra; and so on. Thus, merely by carefully
observing a certain childs behavior, you can recognize what is
wrong with it. And then you will come to see that if you correct
a certain place, the childs personality will change in such and
such a
219
way.
Rather than thinking in terms of curing a disorder, one should
think of encouraging activity where it has been obstructed in a
part of the body that doesnt grow. As a result, a child will
naturally get better, even in the case of illness. And even a
distortion of the childs personality will disappear as a result of
the removal of an obstruction in the body. With an adult matters
are different, but in the case of a child, before thinking of
correcting places that are disordered, you should think first of
correcting obstructions to growth.
There are various peaks in growth. I spoke earlier of the
development of the nervous system. There is a peak in its
development. This happens not only in the case of the nervous
system: there is a peak in the growth of the sexual organs, the
stomach, the eyes, etc. So if you observe a childs appetite, for
example, you will see that the childs demands differ from one
time to another. But mothers try to force their children to eat
everything that is served, as adults do. If you do this, you
suppress the appetite with ideas, and then, when a child grows
up, he will not know what he wants
220
to eat or even whether he is hungry or not. People have actually
asked me whether they are hungry or whether they are in love
or not. If you continue to suppress your own demands, you will
come to be unable to understand what you want or what your
demands are.
There was one young man who announced in tones of great
gloom, My first love affair has ended in a break-up. Any woman
will do now, so long as shes a woman. And he straightaway
got himself engaged to the next woman who happened along.
His mother and elder sister came scurrying to me:
We think he must have gone a bit funny in the head. Hes got
engaged because he says it makes no difference now what
woman he marries. But is this a proper attitude for someone
whos going to get married to have?
It really is the proper attitude for someone whos going to get
married, I replied. When it comes to the person youre going
to marry, you can try to pick the best you can, but the best
doesnt amount to very much. Whoever you choose, it doesnt
really make a great deal of difference. If the other
221
person had three noses or one eye in the middle of the face,
then that would really be remarkable, but basically everybodys
the same. So theres nothing wrong if someone doesnt take a
decision like this very seriously. In fact, its the proper attitude
to take towards marriage. So his attitudes a perfectly proper
one. Please tell him I said that however much you pick and
choose, it doesnt make much difference, and that his attitude is
perfectly correct.
They told the young man this, and today I heard that he had
called off the engagement. Once his getting engaged was
recognized as being the right action to take, he soon called
things off. It seems a bit strange, but there is this side to
human beings. So why did he behave like that? This young man
has always acted so as to attract other peoples attention, and
he got engaged to be married simply to make an exhibition of
his petulance to his mother and sisters. In his case, growth is
still not complete, and even though he is twenty something,
there is still a place where growth is blocked. If this is corrected,
his personality will become normal. If this place is left as it is
and he is treated as though he were adult, it wont
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work.
But with children, in none of them is growth complete. Therefore
it is wrong to treat a child as an adult and scold and scold away
at him or her, giving reasons that even an adult wouldnt
understand if he heard them. If you try to cure a child of making
up stories as you might reprove an adult for telling a lie, it will
be of no avail. The effect will be contrary to what you intend,
and the child will learn only how to change stories into lies. In
this kind of case, if you try to ameliorate the stiffness around
the fourth thoracic vertebra, the child will stop telling lies. And
the stories he makes up wont be such whoppers, and hell make
up fewer of them. But if you do this too much, the child will
become timid. Timidity and truthfulness are at bottom the same
thing, as are timidity and seriousness. And when seriousness
becomes over-seriousness, this is a step towards becoming
faint-hearted. Desperate activity is the mark of the faint-hearted
person.
Thus, human behavior has many aspects. Where children are
concerned, when a part of the body whose growth is not
complete has an influence on the body
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or mind, you can take this into consideration and give sh
accordingly, or you can directly give sh to the part of the
body in question. There is a proper time to give sh in such
cases. One utilizes peaks in the waves of growth and gives sh
so that the disposition deriving from this or that organic system
is corrected, so that the personality is corrected, and so that the
body is corrected. In some cases, peaks in growth are obvious,
in others they are not, and so one has to make very careful
observations.
In giving seitai guidance to children, one never directly
addresses the abnormality itself. When there is an abnormality,
one doesnt treat the affected place. Instead, one should do yuki
to those places that are blocked or stagnant. A block first
manifests itself in the head.
There was one seventy-year-old man who had an apopleptic fit
that affected his head. His wife conscientiously did yuki to his
head, and every day she would report to me that the shape of
his head had changed in such and such a way. This wife had not
come to any lectures in the recent past, and since, presumably,
she didnt know how to
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do yuki, I had thought that even if I told her where she should
put her hand, it wouldnt do any good. But it turned out that
long ago, before the war, she had attended some of our lectures
on yuki, and after that, if a neighbor had gallstones or an upset
liver, she would do yuki to him or her while someone went to
fetch the doctor. The neighbor would suddenly recover from the
bout of pain or fit of queasiness, and when the doctor came,
would answer the door himself or herself and tell the doctor that
he wasnt needed. Whether this woman stopped doing yuki
because she felt her hands should be treasured, people
recovered so quickly, or whether it was because she found
herself being summoned to help by everyone around, I dont
know, but she stopped coming to our meetings on yuki. After
hearing this from someone else, I came to think she must be
good at doing yuki.
Still, many years had passed since those days, and I wondered
whether she might have forgotten how to do yuki. But no: she
did it to her husband, and every day she would get in touch with
me. Once she said, This place has changed, and that place has,
changed, too. Peoples heads really do
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change a lot, dont they? Yesterday, the crown of his head was
thrust out, but today its sunk down. Yesterday he complained
all day and got angry, but today hes calm. I imagine theres a
connection between his anger and the crown of his head being
thrust out, isnt there?
Yes, there is, I replied. Why did he get angry?
Someone upset him, she said.
With a condition like that, the worst possible thing you can do
is lose your temper. Who upset him, and how?
Well, she said. You see, my daughter-in-law said to him, Its
we whove got to take care of you, and your conditions not
something thats going to be cured soon. You know it, but even
though you know it, you still try to lord it over other people. He
absolutely boiled with rage.
Before that, too, there had been a time when the crown of his
head had been thrust up. At that time I had asked, Did he
throw something at someone? His wife had replied that he had
thrown an apple. It appeared that the apple had gone right
through all the layers of paper in the door of the closet and
lodged itself among the
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mattresses. So I asked whether he had thrown anything
yesterday, too. She said he hadnt. And then she said, So there
is a connection between the third point of the head being thrust
out and his losing his temper.
When he is enraged but holds himself back, it becomes thrust
out, I said. When he can no longer contain himself, this point
becomes enlarged and he explodes.
As this story shows, the shape of the head is always changing.
These changes are all manifestations of activity such as I have
described, and the head has an extremely deep connection with
growth. Therefore, in the case of a baby, you must begin by
examining the head.
When someone is unable to summon up the will to do anything,
one side of the head has become completely sunken in. When
this happens, an adult, too, lacks the will to do anything. In the
case of a child, his parents may suppose that his head got like
that because he slept in a distorted position. But if a childs will
can be aroused, and he begins doing something on his own
initiative, in every case the childs head will become properly
rounded. So long as a
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person depends on others, his head even after he becomes
adult will look as though someone has beaten a great dent in
the side of it.
When tension has persisted in the head for an excessively long
time, you will find that what we call the second points of the
head are slack. These can be found at the points of intersection
between an imaginary line running across the head, from the
front of one ear to the front of the other, and two imaginary
parallel lines running backwards over the head from the centers
of the eyes. If the condition doesnt right itself and the
excessive concentration of tension persists, the skin at these
two points will contract and grow stiff. These second points of
the head are connected with the correction of the excessive
concentration of tension.
When the back of a persons head is shrunken, that person
either has no emotions or his emotional life has not developed
any richness. So someone the back of whose head is completely
flat is subject to sudden emotional changes. His emotions are
not connected with the head, and because his emotions succeed
one another as an animals do, he suddenly alters. Among
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criminals who suddenly turn on someone and injure him but
not among those who commit crimes that require intelligence
there are many whose heads are completely flat at the back. In
the case of people like this, the shrinkage at the fourth points of
the head is great.
Thus, the shape of the head is constantly changing. Even in the
case of people who are over seventy, the shape of the head
changes, and with children it changes a great deal more, so that
one has first of all to take into consideration changes in the
shape of the head when dealing with children. But in fact it is
too late after such a change has manifested itself. One has to
read how the head is going to change before a change occurs.
When you do yuki to someones head, you may find a place that
is slack and feels fatty or a place that feels dried up. This kind of
place on the head is linked with the lower abdomen. When there
is a stiff place in the lower abdomen, there is a place that is
slack on the head. But when the lower abdomen is slack, there
is a place on the head that has shrunk. Therefore, when there is
an abnormal spot on the head, it is important to
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consider it in connection with the lower abdomen. So, when
giving yuki to children, whatever the place affected and
whatever the disorder, you should do yuki first to the head and
the lower abdomen. And through doing yuki, you should
examine the head and lower abdomen.
The bones of the adults head do not move so much as those of
a childs head. Nevertheless, when an adult hasnt slept well or
feels anxious about something, the point midway along the
lambdoidal suture, or, as we call it, the fifth point of the head, is
thrust out. At times when you dream a lot or your fatigue
doesnt disappear, the occipital bone drops down. If instead of
getting up at once when you wake, you go to sleep again, this
fifth point grows very slack. When the skin at this point is so
loose that it can be pinched and held between the fingers, there
is nobody whose sexual organs are functioning perfectly.
When the fourth points, at either side of the back of the head,
have shrunk, it shows that the functioning of the sexual organs
is not fully developed or is weak. And when a persons emotional
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but a child that lacks spirit will become miserable. For as long as
a baby
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does not imitate you as if it were your mirror image when you
do this kind of thing, it is not grown up enough to take in
changes in the external world. And if a baby cant imitate you
even after six months, you have to regard it as having a head
that is rather slow. In this kind of case, do yuki to the second
points of the head, and the child will soon start developing.
Again, when a child cant release an object he has grasped, the
third point of the head has become stiff. The thrusting out of the
third point is linked with the cerebrum, and when this thrusting
out occurs, the function of letting go of something that has
entered the cerebrum does not work well, either. The third point
becomes a problem when emotions are suppressed.
The fourth point of the head is connected with impulsive or
lively behavior, and, on the other hand, with gloomy moods that
are characterized by a combination of not caring and timidity.
By insouciance, I mean retiring into yourself and not confronting
reality. Everybody feels a bit timid when he confronts reality,
but there is something within the person who remains insouciant
that escapes.
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We regard someone who is impulsive and self-centered as being
some kind of barbarian. But one cannot rightly accuse a child of
being impulsive and self-centered, for all children are like this.
So this does not mean that the fourth point of the head has
properly developed. Still, there is the kind of child you see
outside toyshops, hanging on to his mothers hand and bawling
his head off. This kind of child always has a well-developed
fourth point.
In any event, the bones of the head are constantly moving, and
the head does not always have the same shape. The muscles
change form even more sensitively, and in the case of children,
I should like you to check carefully the daily changes in the
shape of the head, as well as the changes in the muscles.
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Appendix
Taiheki
The word taiheki means bodily tendency. Seitai Kyokai
recognizes five categories, or -gata, of bodily tendencies, each
of which is divided into two types, one of which is more active
and one of which is more passive. There are also two anomalous
types, so that there are twelve types in all.
Bodily tendency refers primarily to the way in which energy is
compressed and dispersed. With odd-numbered types, energy is
compressed and vented out in a positive way, whereas with
even-numbered types energy is compressed and vented out in a
less positive way. Certain physical characteristics and qualities
of sensibility are associated with each type.
Each individual has his or her own peculiar characteristics, and
these are connected with the mixture of types within each
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individual, for no individual is a pure type. Within every
individual, there are two or more dominating tendencies, one of
which will normally be predominant.
The five categories and twelve types are as follows:
jge-gata (lit. Upwards and downwards category) types 1
and 2 : compressed energy tends to be converted into cerebral
activity.
say-gata (lit. Leftwards and rightwards category) types 3
and 4: compressed energy tends to be converted into emotional
activity or into the activity of the digestive system.
zengo-gata (lit. Forwards and backwards category) types 5
and 6: compressed energy tends to be converted into physical
activity.
nejire-gata (lit. Twisted category) types 7 and 8 :
compressed energy tends to be converted into competitiveness.
kaihei-gata (Closing and opening category; in Japanese the
terms are reversed in
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the interest of euphony) types 9 and 10: compressed energy
tends to be converted into sexual or other activity that is
connected with the preservation of the species.
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