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 2007 X & Y Communications.

All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-1-
A Special Report Exclusively For Listeners Of
DYD Interviews With Dating Gurus

Scot McKay

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-2-
Notice Of Copyright, Waiver Of Liability

Author’s Note: My apologies in advance for the necessity of including


the following information. With that out of the way, please realize that
there is groundbreaking information in this text, thereby necessitating
unusually stringent copyright protection. –Scot McKay

The content of this report in its entirety is copyrighted in full. All


rights and privileges with regard to its use are reserved by the
author and by X & Y Communications.

Any unauthorized use or unauthorized duplication of the material


herein, either directly or conceptually, is expressly forbidden.
This includes, but is not limited to, redistribution to third parties
and / or any incidence of furnishing password authentication
information to those who have not received this book directly
from X & Y Communications.

Any infringement upon this copyright will be prosecuted to the full


extent of the law. The Internet is regularly combed for illegal use
of this material.

All information contained in this book is strictly intended for


entertainment use only, and does not constitute legal, medical,
psychiatric or any other form or “professional advice”. The
author disclaims any notion to the contrary.

In purchasing this book, the reader agrees to hold the author and
X & Y Communications harmless and free of any liability
whatsoever in the event of any claim of damages, physical,
mental or otherwise, resulting directly or indirectly from the
material contained in this entire text. You are responsible for
your own actions.

OK, now on to the good stuff…

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
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Contents

Introduction 5

Chapter 1: Run Away 101 7

Chapter 2: How Men And Women Try To Trick Each Other 11

Chapter 3: Why Pick-Up Artists Can’t Seduce ALL The Women 15

Chapter 4: Am I “Being Shallow”, Or Am I Just Not “Settling”? 18

Chapter 5: I’m Not Ken And She’s Not Barbie—Thank God 20

Chapter 6: The Age Gap 22

Chapter 7: Infidels And The Cheaters Who Love Them 25

Chapter 8: Sexually Focused Men And The Objects Of 26


Their Non-Affection

Chapter 9: How Do You Know When It’s Time To Get 30


Married?

Epilogue 34

Special Offers For Readers 35

About The Author 36

About X & Y Communications 37

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-4-
Introduction

If you are reading this report, you have likely discovered us through
listening to my recent interview with David DeAngelo. In that interview I
promised a report that was focused on helping you gain a richer
understanding of what exactly a quality woman looks like and what it
takes to attract her and keep her interested.

This document will cover all of that for you in a way that will both inform
you and challenge you.

Many of the thoughts and ideas that are in store ahead may be brand
new to you, which is something I take great pride in. From the very
inception of X & Y Communications, I vowed not to represent a “cookie
cutter” of any other type of dating advice out there.

In all sincerity, although I have been influenced by some strong thinkers


on the subject of dating and attraction (David D. certainly among the
most prominent), my unique place in the world of dating strategy
became clear after a very short while.

Simply put, there are lots of guys out there who can teach you effective
tips and tricks for getting a phone number and going on dates.
Likewise, there are plenty of psychiatrists out there who can
psychoanalyze at the subjective level. And also, certainly, there are
plenty of spiritual leaders who can help you along the journey of being a
great man in the general sense.

My job, however, is to take you from having some, limited success with
women to enjoying absolute world-class excellence.

There really are a lot of dating experts who focus on “relationship


problems”. Most of these are women, or guys whose primary audience
is women. The guys in the field seem to congregate around the
concept of helping guys with very little “game” get numbers and dates.

I can understand all of this because in all reality that’s where the market
is. We as men typically only move from top-dead-center (incidentally,
you’ll notice I have a penchant for gear head references) towards
getting help when things are at a crisis pitch. The discomfort of trying to
acquire information or skills we don’t yet have is usually more painful
than the discomfort of being clueless (or so we believe at the time).
And further, once we have things under some semblance of control,

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-5-
we’re cool with it. Reference the guy who doesn’t stop for directions
when he’s lost until he finds himself in another state or something, the
guy who buys a guitar and lets it gather dust after learning three chords,
or—yes—the guy who figures out how to get a phone number and go
on a date every once in a while and stops the process there.

The very fact that you are reading this demonstrates that you are man
who requires more of himself than that. Moving beyond grasp of the
basics when it comes to attracting women, you are about having total
control over your dating life. This means YOU want to be the “chooser”
instead of the “chaser”, and YOU wish to be the one who decides when
second dates happen instead of surrendering all of that power to the
women you meet. Ultimately, YOU wish to make a conscious decision
as to who to select for a lifetime of long-term partnership, and (perhaps
most critical) YOU want to be the one who decides when you want that
to happen.

It all makes ridiculously perfect sense, doesn’t it? Getting digits and
dates is only the first step. And as we all know, you’ll never become a
true artist until you move beyond painting by numbers.

Having this higher level of purpose, your dating life will amaze everyone
you know…including yourself. You will never, ever have to “settle” for
someone you didn’t really want because you will have done all the
necessary homework in order to avoid that kind of miserable life. You
will habitually have the sharpest woman at your side wherever you go—
and everyone will know it—because you deserve what you want.

In positioning yourself as such, you will have risen above the vast
majority of other men on this planet. Enjoy.

Since this report serves as a bonus deliverable to another book or


program you have received from me, you’ve probably already figured
out that I specialize in not only original information, but in hitting the
ground running with it. No exception here, so it’s time to begin…

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-6-
Chapter 1: Run Away 101

OK, I understand that some of us can be lazy at times. But how do


guys like you and I become so lethargic as not to RUN AWAY from
certain people we end up on dates with?

There’s no better place to start this discussion than with straight talk on
how to figure out what we DON’T WANT if we are going after only the
highest echelon of women.

Granted, the “warning signs” of when to hit “eject” are not so easy to
recognize—especially when we are clouded by attraction. That said,
it’s important to realize that getting out of a potentially bad situation
tends to be more emotionally and possibly physically difficult as time
progresses

Here are the unequivocal signs of a bad, bad deal. No gray areas here.
Nothing subjective. When you encounter any of the following
traits…leave.

1) Addictions

If you are dealing with someone who has a substance abuse


problem, run away. If not, their problem will soon be YOUR
problem. No, I’m not saying you will succumb to “peer pressure” to
join in. I’m saying that people with addictions learn quickly to
become MASTER manipulators. Should you choose to enter into a
relationship with such a person, you will be a part of their problem.

And this isn’t about drugs and alcohol exclusively. Gambling


addictions are among the hardest to kick, and this isn’t the exclusive
domain of men. If you are involved with a gambling addict, expect a
life where any and all financial gain that is worked so hard for is
literally squandered with absolutely nothing to show for it. Open the
window, and throw buckets of $$$ to the wind. Worse…open your
wallet and hand your paycheck to shady people who are preying off
of your significant other, and therefore preying on YOU also.
Ironically enough, SHOPPING addictions are so much like this that
it’s frightening, and more likely to affect a woman than a gambling
problem per se. Take them seriously. You do not want a woman
with chronic credit card debt problems.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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Sex addictions are equally devastating, if not more so. Your money
and your partner’s attention are diverted towards others in direct
competition to you.

Run away from all of this. You know you don’t want it, and
NOBODY deserves to be subject to it. This is ‘deserving what you
want’ at the most baseline level.

By the way, welcome to the realm of “no excuses” for women. We


as men hear all the time about how we don’t deserve a good woman
if we have character flaws. Women shouldn’t be allowed to deserve
us either if afflicted similarly. Retraining your mind to reject the
“double standard” here cannot be underestimated. You have the
ability to CHOOSE when you DESERVE to. Keep all of this in mind
as you read on…

1) Evil

“Oh, s/he’s not a bad person, just misguided, etc.” Stop making
excuses for people. I’ve noticed that good people generally do not
want to “label” others as “bad”. It’s as if it’s a “bad thing” to consider
someone else bad. Get over it. There are bad people out there.
Again, do not be manipulated into a relationship with someone who
has bad intentions. Watch closely how such a person treats
animals, parents, wait staff, and / or anyone or anything else that
s/he has nothing to gain from personally.

2) Man Haters

If she has been “hurt” in the past by men that’s unfortunate. If this
has caused her to view all men as “bad” then run away. You will not
“change” such a woman any more than she will “change” something
she doesn’t like about you. Avoid the arrogant temptation to be her
“knight in shining armor”. The problem is bigger than you and was
there before you showed up.

Warning signs include blaming you for esoteric or inane things,


assigning greater depth to simple mistakes you make than was
intended, extreme defensiveness (often in reaction to what you
“must be thinking” instead of anything you actually said or did)
and—of course—a rich “double standard” of her being free to
behave differently towards you at a much lower-end level than she
expects in return.
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
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Be wise to this, and don’t allow yourself to be confused by how
sweet she acts towards her own mom or perhaps her children. You
aren’t the problem, despite what this woman would hope you’ll
believe. Run away.

2) Sexual Ambiguity

If your date has any leanings towards a sexual orientation that does
not match yours, RUN AWAY. This is not something where people
in disagreement compromise. If you have any doubts, throw them
on the proverbial table immediately. For example, you do not want
to be involved with someone bisexual if you are interested in a
monogamous relationship between two people. Similarly, you do
not want to be a part of someone’s plan to prolong “coming out” by
showing the world that s/he dates MOTOS (i.e. Members Of The
Opposite Sex). I’ve heard of a breathtaking number of cases where
couples were broken up by changes in and / or realizations of
differences in sexual orientation.

Whatever lifestyle you choose to live, it is imperative that you find


someone who is like-minded. And keep in mind that sentiment must
be genuine on the part of the other person. It’s fair to say here that
if you have an interest in a sexual lifestyle that classifies as an
alternative to the established “norm” of one man and one woman, it
is YOU who must be extra careful of those who are desperate
enough to feign approval simply because they are DESPERATE.
Dig deeper. Deserve what you want.

4) Emotional Instability

Have you ever known someone who you couldn’t ever really be sure
of when it comes to his or her demeanor? You know…you had no
idea which “version” of this person was going to “show up” at any
given time. Yeah, well…RUN AWAY from women who fit this
description.

Someone who is emotionally unstable is not someone you want to


be in a relationship with. Be very vigilant here. Ask hard questions.
Thanks to miraculous new advances in medications within the last
few years, there are people among us with severe mental illnesses
who act “fine” and lead perfectly “normal” lives…as long as they are
TAKING their meds. Should there be a lapse in taking such
medication, it is not uncommon for it to be a real bear to get him or
her back on track. This spells out a VERY difficult life for you—and
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
-9-
one that will take twists and turns that are utterly arbitrary and will
leave you powerless to affect. Is that what you want? Is that what
you deserve?

5) Extreme Selfishness

If it is apparent upon getting to know someone that you will be doing


all of the giving and they will be doing all of the taking, run away.
This realization can take place in ten minutes or it can take much
longer to sort through. Either way, get out.

Watch out for manipulators of this ilk. People like this can be utterly
fascinating to watch operate. Masters at “self-promotion”, the
manipulatively selfish know exactly how to get others to willingly do
what they want—preferably making them feel good about it all the
while (somehow).

Such people tend to know how to appear “generous” at first, when in


reality all is part of a carefully crafted plot to get what they want,
typically at deeper levels than is apparent at first. Extremely selfish
people give “generously” on their own terms only. What is given to
you is what they choose to give you and what they think you need.
Your wants and needs are not considered…and never will be.

Did I wake anyone up? I sure hope so.

Do not underestimate what I am talking about here. Despite my blatant


and opinionated disregard for sugarcoating the truth, I am boldly telling
you how to avoid a miserable life. I do this because my concern in this
particular context is for you, the reader, not for those you DO NOT
DESERVE.

When you find yourself dealing with anyone bearing the unmistakable
earmarks of “highly-avoidable people”, RUN AWAY. DO IT
IMMEDIATELY.

Whatever you do, do not fall into the temptation to “change him or her”
because you “care”. You will not.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 10 -
Chapter 2: How Men And Women Try To Trick Each
Other

What is the most infamous male stereotype when it comes to dating?


Certainly the one about men trying every trick in the book to get a
woman to sleep with him has to head the list. No need to elaborate.
There are plenty of web sites that I can refer all y’all to (regardless of
gender) if you want to see how that works. There are plenty of “black
hat” pick-up artists specializing in helping men tune up their trickery.

The truth is, however, that men don’t necessarily have the market
cornered when it comes to keeping their intentions under the table.
Women are quite capable of their fair share. My belief is that the most
common brand of dating trickery proffered by women tends to fly under
the radar a bit easier, however, and therefore is hardly ever (if at all)
called out. Since women are a bit more subtle about all of this, I’m
going to focus on understanding their side of the equation. After all,
male trickery is altogether too obvious…which continues to cause me
sheer amazement at how often women fall for it.

So what about the women? What do I mean?

Here it is. Just like men try to trick women into sleeping with them way
too early in the relationship, women tend to try to trick men into
exclusive commitment way to early.

It’s absolutely true.

And a woman has the ability to equip herself with a formidable set of
tools when it comes to this stuff. Just like a woman can find herself in a
man’s bed and wonder how she got there, a man can very easily find
himself in an exclusive relationship he may not have been ready for,
and with a woman who may not even have been his first choice!

How does she do this? Here are some examples of the tactics
involved:

1) The Ultimatum

This is the most objective approach. If a woman knows the man is


irrevocably interested (i.e. “hooked”, because you gave away all
your power), she will simply level an ultimatum. This may happen

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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as soon as the woman realizes the man wants her sexually. In this
case, the woman pulls every option off the table other than
committing to her or walking away. This is unfair, of course,
because it plays on a man’s physical attraction in order to drive
emotional involvement.

2) Extended Planning

She’ll buy tickets for a concert that’s a month away. She’ll invite him
to join her for some killer party that’s a few weeks (or months?) off.
If she can get him to make some financial “buy in” (e.g. ticket price,
renting a tux, etc.) then he’ll be more likely to stay around. In fact,
the concept of commitment based on financial involvement is a well-
known marketing principle. Here, as in so many facets of dating,
sales tactics translate directly into relationship strategy.

3) Common Secondary Commitments

This is something like “Extended Planning”, but with a subtle


difference. Here we are talking about ongoing partnerships rather
than one-time events. She may sign you both up for six weeks of
salsa lessons. She may join a dinner party group with other couples
knowing that it would be a major embarrassment to have to sever
ties in the event of a breakup. If she’s really astute, she’ll buy you
season tickets for your favorite team. How thoughtful of her. Nice.

4) Marking Territory

As soon as a man invites a woman into his private domain, he


opens himself up to the female ritual of “territory marking”. If she’s
hanging out at his house and riding in his car, bear in mind the
possibility that she may be interested in staking her claim to those
places vis-à-vis other women in his life. Most of us know about the
“perfume on the pillow” trick, where a woman sprays her perfume on
a guy’s pillow so he can “think of her” when he’s sleeping. But that’s
just one of a myriad of ways that a woman can make it improbable,
if not impossible, that another woman would feel comfortable in his
home or car.

She can leave a change of clothes on his dresser, just in case. She
can change shoes in his car and “accidentally” leave them behind
the passenger’s seat in the back. She can smear makeup in places
he may not notice but another woman would be sure to. She can
brush her hair in the bathroom, all but making sure strands of her
hair land in places where other women might notice it. And my all
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
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time favorite—she might “forget” and leave her earrings on the end
table in the living room (or some other place you’ll never see until
the next time guests are over).
Whatever happens, you can be sure if it’s done right most guys will
be potentially horrified to invite other women over (although they
shouldn’t be, which is the topic of other writings of mine elsewhere).

5) Key Introductions

He is introduced to all of her friends. He may even meet her


parents, feeling like he’s suffered whiplash given how sudden it was.
She may even, if she’s mastered the tactic, proactively seek to
make friends with his friends. The latter is a particularly powerful
approach that, if successful, means she has all but inextricably
woven herself into his life. And if he ever tries to break up with her,
imagine the effect of his own friends calling him to tell him how
wrong he is. Out of hand.

6) Gifts

She may buy you something nice. Depending upon the limits of her
personal resources, we may be talking about something really nice.
Guys famously tend to use this tactic on women, thinking that they
can buy their way into a woman’s heart. Well, when a guy does
something like this it generally backfires. Some women are creeped
out by it, some women refuse nice gifts seeing potential ulterior
motives behind them, and others simply take the gifts and offer only
a “thank you” in return.

The interesting part, however, is that a woman who knows how men
think with regard to this process can capitalize upon it to drive
commitment from a man. Think about it—a man attempts to barrage
a woman with gifts because he thinks it will help earn her affections.
Why does he think like this? Simple. Because it would work on
him. If a woman realizes this, she knows she has an angle with
which she can get him to commit.

The problem is that although gift-giving works on a man, it’s not for
the expected reason. Rather than driving a warm-fuzzy nesting
reflex, it just flat-out makes him feel guilty if he dumps her after
getting such cool stuff from her.

So what’s the common thread here? Not surprisingly, the end result is
likely to be the same for tricksters of both the male and female
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
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persuasion. In either case, if the end goal is reached it’s nothing more
than an empty, Pyrrhic victory.

The moral to this story? Save the tricks, and watch out for hers. Be up-
front, take things at a mutually acceptable pace…and have a
symmetrical relationship based on depth rather than guilt or pressure.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 14 -
Chapter 3: Why Pick-Up Artists Can’t Seduce ALL The
Women

I’ve been writing for quite some time now, and the research I’ve done
on what attracts men and women to each other has been going on a lot
longer than that.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned to truly be entertained by, it’s some
of these guys who proclaim themselves to be “great pick up artists”.
Many have learned how to make a living at this, and can purportedly
teach any man how to be “good with women”. And some of them have
the track record to back it up.

I’ve seen several who claim to have slept with tens of thousands of
women. You and I both know there’s a market for that kind of
“expertise”, and LOTS of guys are willing to pay to tap into that kind of
magical “way with women”.

And I believe they deserve exactly what they want. I cannot argue that.

What’s more, I don’t doubt these guys. I’m sure they are telling the
truth. But I am also absolutely positive that there’s much more to
success with women than “seduction”.

Why? Two reasons, mainly.

First, I’m no genius, but I’ve figured out something over the years that
seems to apply here. If I singularly focus on ONE THING to the point of
saturation, it soon loses its value to me. It’s just not all that fun
anymore. I just don’t want to make a full time lifestyle out of keeping up
with the expectation of having sex with two different women every day.
I think that would, well, lose its shine after a couple of years (?) or so.
To me, something that becomes a full time job just isn’t any fun
anymore after a while. Besides, how much “sexual variety” does it take
before the “novelty” wears off? If that last statement raised your
eyebrows, it could be because you haven’t slept with two new women a
day yet. Ultimately, something with more depth than simple sexual
variety for its own sake is going to become necessary.

And that goes double if I go and make a JOB out of it, teaching other
guys how to have nonstop sex. Then it’s just flat-out WORK after a
short while. And yes--I think this applies even to sex. If I slept with a
different woman—no, make that two—every day for thirty years straight,

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
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I’d be around the 20,000 number that one guy I’ve read about claims to
“achieved” (or is that “scored”?). And I’d be ready for a “vacation”.

Second, I…um…might at some point become interested in BUILDING


A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GREAT WOMAN. This, at least where I
come from, typically involves spending more than half a day (max) with
her. It also probably involves SEEING HER AGAIN SOME TIME.

Now, I fully understand that several of these “world class pickup artists”
have actually relocated to South America, Eastern Europe or other
places where the women are apparently more “sexually open” than they
are here in the good ol’ U-S-of-A.

Well, again. That’s fine for them. But on top of the other reasons I’ve
given for not joining them, add to the list that I LIKE IT HERE. And I like
the women here. And wherever YOU are, you may in fact not want to
pick up and move either.

And there lies the kicker. Clearly, even if a “pickup artist” achieves
“greatness” in seducing women, there is always going to be a certain
echelon of women that he is NEVER, EVER going to be able to have.
And despite all the sexual “success” he claims, that has to be an empty
feeling. I know so…because that’s what happens anytime the focus is
on getting more and more of something. Greed is never sufficiently fed,
is it?

And “quantity” nearly always comes at the expense of “quality”.

I hear one of you guys out there still saying, “Oh come on, McKay.
Who would ever get sick of sex with two different women a day?” Well,
you would. Why? Because no matter how great something is, if it’s
ALL YOU’RE DOING it’s going to get BORING.

So who are these women who even the “world class” pick-up expert
can’t “bed”? Simple. They’re the ones with enough self-respect,
confidence and intelligence not to fall for being swindled into lowering
their standards.

Take a look at the Dictionary.com definition of “seduce”:

se·duce P Pronunciation Key (s -d s , -dy s )


tr.v. se·duced, se·duc·ing, se·duc·es

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1. To lead away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct.
See Synonyms at lure.
2. To induce to engage in sex.

The woman who will not be “tricked” into a half-day fling with a man
who wants nothing more than sex is unattainable to the “pick-up” artist.
Ironically, it would appear that the more women a pick-up artist has sex
with, the lower the bar gets set in terms of the pool from which he can
draw from. Women who at least want to take a shot at a committed
relationship just aren’t going to buy that. Ever. Neither are the women
who are confident enough not to invest false hope in what are arrantly
empty, deceitful promises designed uniquely to get her in bed. The
most confident women who are relationship-minded are therefore out of
bounds to the pick-up artist. Such women deserve what they want.
And they don’t want what the seducer is proffering.

And to be sure, the man who deserves what he wants in terms of


attracting a confident, feminine woman who will be a loyal mate is in a
very interesting position. No, he’s not bedding countless women. He
knows what all is at stake. And ironically, if he ever chose to, he could
get not only the sharpest women we talked about in the previous
paragraph—he could get any woman who would settle for a pick-up
artist also.

Life is good when one deserves what one wants. One tends to get it.
Whatever “it” is.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 17 -
Chapter 4: Am I “Being Shallow”, Or Am I Just Not
“Settling”?

So now we know what we don’t want, and we have the first concept
down in terms of making sure our own mindset is clear when it comes
to recognizing and deserving one of the good ones.

So now, let’s turn our attention to getting rid of some bad information
many of us have been programmed with. Have you ever been told you
were being “too shallow” when you expressed to someone what you
were looking for in a partner? I know I have.

If we say we want our future mate to look a certain way, we get the
“shallow” routine from people we talk to. Numerous women I’ve talked
to have reported that they draw similar disdain when they say they want
an “intelligent” man. Yeah, so why don’t men hear that when they
express such a desire for the woman they hope to meet? Here’s a
strong hint: It’s that double standard at play again.

Furthermore, we all know what a woman’s going to hear if she says she
hopes for a mate who is financially successful. My educated guess is
it’s probably something similar to what a guy hears when he talks about
what kind of body his future mate should have.

So is there anything to this accusation of “being shallow” as single


people in particular so often hear? Should we all “lighten up” on
potential dates? After all…what we are hoping and dreaming of is a bit
unreasonable, isn’t it?

My answer is unequivocally NOT. If refusing to settle for any less than


the mate I am going to be thrilled to be with is “shallow”, than I’m a
“kiddie pool” among men. You’d better believe it. After all, I plan to
spend the rest of my life with this woman, so why should I “settle” for
half-hearted unfulfillment of broken dreams?

My personal pet peeve is when someone tells me, “You shouldn’t be so


‘picky’. After all—you aren’t perfect.”

Well…um…exactly.

And who is perfect, for that matter? I happen to believe that people
who are “perfect”, whoever they are, must have a really hard time

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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- 18 -
finding someone to date. After all, who is good enough for someone
who is perfect? Kind of an ironic twist, isn’t it?

My opinion is that we tend to be attracted to people who look a lot like


us, have the same values as we do, and share other similar things—like
a sense of humor, for example. Emily disagrees. She thinks people
tend to go for someone who is a lot different than they are. You know,
the old “we complete each other” bit.

Well, here it is: it really doesn’t matter which one of us has it figured
out. Neither situation involves someone going after a “perfect” person,
does it? Whether I want to find someone who is a lot like me or who
“completes” me she’s not a Barbie doll (which I will elaborate upon in
the next chapter).

When we’re considering who it is that we want to spend the rest of our
life with out of the six billion souls on Planet Earth, I hereby declare that
each and every one of us has every right to consider very diligently
exactly who that person should be and which traits he or she should
have. In fact, I highly recommend you do so.

And once you do that, make sure you are the kind of mate who is going
to make that person equally thrilled to spend a lifetime with you.
Deserve what you want.

Now, more on the subject of what kind of women it is, exactly, who you
WOULDN’T be “settling” for.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 19 -
Chapter 5: I’m Not Ken And She’s Not Barbie…Thank
God.

Please tell me that you know better than to believe what the media tells
you about what the opposite gender is attracted to. I mean, you don’t
believe all that drivel you are fed on a constant basis…do you?

Oh, I know. It’s easy for both men and women to get brainwashed by
the exhortations to lose the weight, gain the bust size, re-grow the hair,
get rid of the hair, etc., etc., etc. Somewhere along the line, some of us
even started believing that women should have six-pack abs and tight
biceps (as if men are attracted to masculine features). Taller, blonder,
leaner, lighter, darker, curvier, straighter, bigger, faster, more, more,
more.

Last summer Emily and I were in California, and decided to hang out in
Beverly Hills for a while. Well, 90210 lives up to its hype in every way.
So much money, and so much frustration wrapped up in one
(expensive) package. We saw one woman who literally had undergone
so much plastic surgery that she was a shadow of who she was
supposed to be. And her insecurity was written all over her face. Here
was a woman who had every resource in the world available to her,
made use of them all, and was still categorically miserable.

The sad irony of all of this is that the vast majority of us don’t even find
the media’s representation of “beauty” attractive…at least not when it
comes to selecting a woman. In fact, despite the steady message of
perceived inadequacy we are all fed, I’ve happened upon an amazing
realization: A surprising number of us (and maybe even you) tend to be
particularly attracted to someone who is the opposite-gender version of
who we are.

And here’s a news flash: I’m not a Ken doll.

And guess what? I don’t find “Barbie” sexually attractive in the least.

Let me tell you what I mean. Forget those “Miss America” types. Give
me a petite little brunette with the “cuteness” working. Forget the long
flowing “goldilocks” and give me that spunky, wispy short hair. Drop the
plans for a “boob job” and keep it proportional. And for heaven’s sake,
EAT something. I want someone I can hug. OK…pierce the belly
button and I have to admit that rounds out a perfect female package.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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- 20 -
That and the manicure / pedicure combo. Bright pink, please. Oh
yeah.

Maybe how your “perfect woman” looks is completely in line with mine.
I hear you, my brother. On the other hand, maybe you are rolling your
eyes at my preferences. Good for you, just as long as you’ve
FIGURED OUT YOUR OWN. Do not let some plastic media vision
dictate who you are “attracted” to.

From there, it’s up to me to DESERVE WHAT I WANT. I will be the best


man I know how to be, and will take care of myself in a manner that
demonstrates self-respect.

And indeed what I want isn’t necessarily what the media is telling me I
should want. But what an amazing feeling of freedom to be able to
have the courage to find a mate who meets my own exacting
specifications, rather than someone else’s.

So guess what? The woman I described above had posters of Sean


Astin on her wall when she was younger instead of Matt Dillon. Now
she hosts podcasts with me. Go figure.

Ok, so we know what a primo woman looks like and what her standards
are. There’s so much more beyond that.
_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 21 -
Chapter 6: The Age Gap—If You Are Older And Wiser,
You’re Also Past Babysitting Younguns

As you well know, there’s a stereotype about older, probably divorced


men dating younger women. Sometimes much younger. The worn-out
story tells about a guy in his late 30’s or older looking to “trade in” his
wife on a “younger model”. Think of a 23 or 24-year-old “hottie” and
you are on the right track, but don’t rule out anyone (or anything) female
who is “legal” (read: “18 or older”). Basically, such a guy is in search of
an “arm ornament”.

What an insult….to us.

One time when I still had an online profile posted, I received an email
from a spunky, redheaded, and very cute eighteen-year-old girl (yeah, I
said “girl”, not “woman”). After a lengthy rant in email form about how
“all the guys her own age were boring” and such, she announced she
wanted to “settle down and have about ten kids or so”. Considering she
had spent what must have been a half-hour composing this message to
me, I felt somewhat obligated to at least respond (a belief which I by no
means impose upon those of you reading this, incidentally). Although
tempted to reply with one of my typical single-liners (in this case, “You
lost me at ‘hello’”), I went the more pragmatic route.

I explained that I was flattered, and I was sure she was a wonderful,
albeit verbose person. But at 39 years of age I doubted I had ten more
kids tucked away in my future.

One of you guys out there reading this is currently throwing something
at your computer monitor and exclaiming, “WHAT? Are you NUTS?” I
assure you that I am perfectly sane.

Oh yeah.

You see, I have a hypothesis that you may find particularly interesting in
its irony. I firmly believe that most, if not all older men who obsess
about dating girls younger than legal drinking age have something in
common: they CAN’T do so. That’s right—any older man who actually
CAN get a date with a very young woman will quickly tire of it. It’s the
old philosophy at work here called “getting kills wanting”. Sure, young
women are cuties and all. But to tell you the truth, if I am going to be
babysitting anyone, I’d rather get paid for it than shelling out the bucks
myself for a date. Know what I mean?
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
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- 22 -
Oh sure, I’ve dated my share of younger women over the past few
years. As a guy in my late thirties I did my darnedest to justify it, even
giving several women of the advanced age of 25 or 26 an honest shot
thinking they were “exceptionally mature”. In the end, they weren’t.

As you might imagine, the thought of dating younger women eventually


gave way to more rational thought. Finally, after more “lab testing” than
I care to mention, I happened upon a more innovative frame of mind
that has yet to fail me.

So, what is the “silver bullet”?

Like many things I talk about around here, it’s disarmingly simple: I
have realized that the greatest find in the world is a woman closer to my
age who seems exceptionally young for her age.

Think about it. How can you miss with this approach? If I am with a 35
year old woman who still gets carded routinely because she seems 23,
I’ve beaten the “system” (whatever that means). In such a person, I
find all of the vibrant, youthful, enthusiastic beauty of a younger woman
wrapped in the mature persona of a REAL woman who can relate with
me to the mid-80s. What more could a guy want?

Perhaps you are reading this and recognizing that it’s an exceptionally
rare woman who can pull off looking twelve years younger than she is.
Granted. The running joke in my case is that I dated all four of them.
The truth, though, is that such women are out there and they are often
single. Since we see them around and (lamely) don’t bother to
introduce ourselves, though, we may automatically be assuming they
are younger than they are. Again, however, you must DESERVE
THEM.

Even so, I was careful to say “seems 23” instead of “looks 23”.
Everyone, man or woman, has control over how he or she chooses to
act. Whoever you are, if you want to deserve a “seemingly younger”
person to hang out with you MUST keep an adventurous, fun attitude of
enjoyment toward what life has to offer. In doing so you will absolutely,
positively be sending all the right messages. Now if you take care of
yourself physically and stay away from the “free radicals” (e.g. smoking)
that a life of hardcore partying hands down, so much the better. But
that said, the vast majority of what we are discussing here comes down
to attitude even more so than physical appearance.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 23 -
So make no mistake…a woman CAN give a man her own age exactly
what he is looking for. It’s just tragic that most women DON’T do so,
causing so many older guys to look to younger woman for the
excitement they crave.

And guys, the same holds true for us. Sure, grow UP. Be mature, have
things handled and don’t act like an immature little boy. But never, ever
lose that sparkle in your eye. Keep the youthful excitement about life
and a healthy sense of adventure and you’ll literally mesmerize women.

How cool is all of this, right? Great. Now go deserve what you want.

So there’s another secret to getting an amazing woman. Now let’s get


to the core of the character issue.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 24 -
Chapter 7: Building A Relationship Upon Cheating

Have you ever happened across the Jerry Springer Show (I know this
group can't actually be Tivoing it or anything…too high class a crowd)
and noticed how people who are cheaters can’t seem to venture too far
from home? I mean, the “other partner” always seems to be drawn
from a very shallow pool of best friends, sisters, brothers, father-in-
laws, etc. ALL THE TIME. If you are going to cheat, at least get far
enough from the nest that you at might have a fighter’s chance at not
getting caught. Right? And good grief, does anyone ever think about
how awkward the family time at Thanksgiving is going to be when all of
the dust clears?

Whatever.

For the record, no. Cheaters don't think about any of this stuff. There
is no thought process here. Just the adrenaline rush.

Cheaters are practically by definition non-thinkers. Things like process


and consequences are not generally managed all that well in these
situations. So then, it’s not surprising that cheaters tend to get found
out…and lose.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not discounting the concept of someone
wanting out of a dismal relationship so badly that they may actually
WANT to get caught cheating, just so the burden of ending the
relationship is on the other person. I'm sure that enters into it often,
actually.

Heavy stuff. Or should I say, PATHETIC stuff.

Obviously I ruminate upon this sort of thing a good bit. I should, after all
it’s my job to. But still, the concept of cheating on a partner in a
committed relationship always causes me to rehearse the line, “what
goes around comes around” just one more time.

Why?

Well, it’s simple. We as human beings have a pattern. Whether we like


it or not, we are PREDICTABLE. At the very fiber of our being, what
makes up our moral core is going to dominate.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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Yeah, and if you choose to cheat, you are going to live the life of a
cheater.

Somebody reading this just said, “Duh.”

I couldn’t agree more. “Duh.” So what is up with all the cheating?


There are clear consequences to living that lifestyle, and they basically
involve getting what you deserve…infidelity. Essentially, if you build a
relationship upon the premise of cheating, how can you possibly expect
anything in the future but...more cheating? It has been said that after
the first time cheating happens, it is forever easier thereafter to repeat
the offense. I think there is decidedly some truth to that concept.
Once conscience is breached, the proverbial Pandora's Box is opened.

Suppose for a brief second that you are feeling bored / sick /
unattracted / flaky toward you committed partner. You have an affair
with someone who "floats your boat" more buoyantly. Yeah, well, both
you and your new, apparently exciting friend are CHEATERS. And
should you choose to leave your committed partner for your new friend,
you will both still be CHEATERS.

The takeaway here is that both YOU and your PARTNER will have built
whatever you build together upon CHEATING.

Did you get that? And guess what? You’ll do it again.

Like it or not, cheaters indeed keep cheating. Yours will be a


relationship built upon dishonesty and lack of integrity. How do you
expect such a union to last? Rest assured it won’t.

Meanwhile, your spurned ex will be out DESERVING WHAT HE OR


SHE WANTS. A faithful partner is a good catch.

Will you be left wallowing in the error of your ways? Not if you
DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT today…and stay true a habit of NOT
cheating. If you are dating someone now and there are issues, work
them out. If you need to get out more together, do so. And if you need
to break up an exclusive relationship, do so before heading on to
"greener pastures". The proper thing to do is break off one committed
relationship before starting another. This is the only way around the
cheating issue. And yes...if you are "separated"...consider thoroughly
the importance of waiting until the divorce is final before dating other
people. You are still married until that happens, and dating under these
circumstances generally raises subtle doubts in the mind of those you
go out with.
 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 26 -
But whatever you do, don’t sleep with your sister-in-law just to make a
point, okay? It’s not going to lead to happiness.

Next, let’s take the gloves off and have a man-to-man talk about how to
get a woman who’ll make you forget about cheating anyway.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 27 -
Chapter 8: Sexually Focused Men And The Objects Of
Their Non-Affection

Being in the business I’m in, and being a man, I’m often asked by guys
how to get women to have sex with them. Ironically enough, my
answer typically involves some iteration of, “Well, genius, stop trying so
hard to get them to have sex with you.”

But as many of us have already encountered time and again in life, one
of the most oft-repeated blunders in the business world is “If something
isn’t working, do twice as much of it.”

Such a ham fisted redoubling of efforts tends to turn up from time to


time in the dating world also, doesn’t it? Particularly, it seems, when
guys aren’t getting women to agree to all of the sex they want as often
as they hoped.

Yeah, well. “Hope” is a wish not a strategy.

Sure, male or female, we are all sexual creatures. But there is SO


MUCH more depth to us all. Perhaps ironically, that’s exactly the key to
being more sexually fulfilled. And therein lies today’s point. Make sure
you are ready for this one, too…it’s something you’ve never heard
before (which I major in, remember). Here it is:

Men who prioritize raw sexual fulfillment over actually building a


relationship with a woman are almost universally the LEAST
sexually fulfilled people I know of.

Is this attributable to the old theory that “the more you chase something
the more elusive it becomes”? Maybe in part, but there’s much more to
it.

Okay, then. Is it because most women are wise to such motives and
don’t give in? Unfortunately, that’s not it either. There seems to be
equal numbers of women these days who are okay with casual sex
(even without moving to South America, incidentally).

Well, what IS IT already?

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 28 -
The answer lies in the very telling likelihood that the guy who views
women as walking life support systems for their vaginas is the VERY
SAME ONE who constantly kvetches about how all [women] are “dead
lays” with absolutely zero sexual skill, drive or creativity.

Bad sex = Low fulfillment

I submit that maybe the problem isn’t the women. Come on now, you
can’t really believe that all women are passive, asexual and/or even
frigid, can you? Well, maybe if that helps you sleep at night.

But really, why should a GREAT woman’s full sexual potential be


squandered on a guy who, when it comes down to it, is USING her?

Make no mistake. It won’t be. Show me a guy who has a healthy


respect for women, and furthermore actually ENJOYS women…and I’ll
show you a guy who’s partner is so fired up in the bedroom (and the
kitchen, and the closet, and the shower…) that the smoke detectors
need to be disconnected.

Most women know all too well that one man’s “dead lay” is another
man’s “Siren/Vixen” (“S/V”). And “I/J”s don’t experience “S/V”s so
much.

To top this discussion off properly, it’s my firm belief that the highest
echelon of women on Earth that we are talking about are also the
greatest in bed. Go and try to figure THAT out. And when you do,
deserve what you want.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 29 -
Chapter 9: How Do You Know When It’s Time To Get
Married?

Note: The following is an adapted reprint from the very last chapter of
my book How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life. If you are
a man whose ability to deserve a great woman is firing on all cylinders,
you are the guy I’m writing to in that book—what is in there represents
the pinnacle of where my thought process ultimately leads. If you are
still getting there, no worries. Wild success with women is just around
the corner for you as it was for me.

You’ve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and
you’ve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for
sometime now. In fact, you’ve found a partner as terrific as you are, so
the question will inevitably surface: Is it time to “pop the question”
around here?

I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon
what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And
make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go
on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what
you think and / or feel.

Indeed, getting engaged should never be a “knee-jerk” decision. In


fact, nothing involving “jerks” of any kind should ever be a consideration
when it comes to marriage.

So whether you are in a serious relationship right now or not, let’s


consider the top ten signs to look for when considering marriage:

1) You’ve figured out that this entire chapter isn’t horrifying


anymore

Okay look. If you are meeting and attracting the WRONG


women then I fully GET that marriage sounds like “surrendering
your manhood on a platter” or “the end of the good times” or
“settling down” or whatever else makes you cringe.

Especially if you aren’t yet in a position to be deserving great


women.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 30 -
When you do meet a woman who meets every single one of your
field-tested criteria (and your PICKIEST ones, remember) and
she is rabidly addicted to you in return you’ll change your mind. I
have a case of whatever you’re drinking riding on it.

When I met Emily I had been dating a LOT for a LONG time. I
was already considering which of three women in my life I had
narrowed down to was the best to keep long term—all of whom
were women I could easily have been happy with. When Emily
came along, though, I recognized her as the ultimate option
because I had a finely tuned sense of what I wanted. I deserved
her in return so she responded with immensely positive energy.

The rest was a no-brainer. Literally. My desire was to have one


great woman in my life, and my OWN CHOICE was to head in
that direction AND to do so with the woman I CHOSE.

Hey, make sure she really wants to be married too. You just
can’t assume that from women.

2) You are attracted to each other

You absolutely, positively must be sexually attracted to the


object of your affection. This is NOT being shallow, as we’ve
discussed previously. Don’t you appreciate how I freely endorse
making this a priority? Thought so. Feel better now? Great.

3) You actually like each other

Laugh if you will, but I’ve seen first-hand how couples justify
long-term relationships despite getting on each other’s nerves
big time. I personally don’t get it, and if you deserve what you
want I surely hope you don’t want that. To me this is the ultimate
representation of a relationship driven purely by sexual
attraction. You can and should do much better. Go for the
complete package.

4) You’ve spent enough time together to really know each


other

Let’s not talk in terms of calendar time here. If a couple is in a


long-distance-relationship (LDR) for two years and see each
other once a month for two days, they may see each other about

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


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- 31 -
as much as a couple who lives two blocks apart and has been
joined at the hip since they met a month ago.

When you know that you’ve seen the person at his or her most
relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only
then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future
really holds.

5) You are on the same page spiritually

Don’t underestimate the importance of this. If you believe that


God should be at the center of your relationship, it can only be
that way if your would-be partner agrees. If this hasn’t been
talked about yet, make it a priority to do so. Even if you are both
agnostic, or atheist for that matter, it’s still a good idea to discuss
your world views and make sure you are in agreement on what
your core beliefs are.

6) Your long-term goals are similar

If your futures are taking you in different directions, either


someone is going to have to compromise, or your futures don’t
have each other in them. Period.

7) You know how to play together

Sure, she goes shoe shopping while you watch the game. But
do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? We’re not just
talking about sex here. I always thought it would be amazing to
find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it
turns out, that wasn’t so farfetched. Couples who play together
stay together.

8) The basics in your lives are handled

Are you mentally and physically healthy? Is your self-esteem in


good shape? If you carry heavy concerns that consume you, it’s
not time to invite someone else into your world permanently.
After all, that would only give your heavy concerns someone else
to consume. And that’s not part of a balanced relationship.

9) You have no doubt in your mind that your partner is


committed to you as you are to him/her

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 32 -
Ah yes…the “trust” factor. Kill all jealousy in order to ready
yourself for a committed relationship. And make darn skippy
sure that’s okay to do. If there are signs your future husband or
wife would cheat on you, then forgettaboutit. Really.

10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to
your partner as he/she is to you

Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are
trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your
future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone else—
especially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you,
then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning
“commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.

Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should
never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage
with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both
partners truly want to be there…and believe wholeheartedly in both the
future and in each other.

After all, isn’t that what love is for? Otherwise, feel free to keep
dating…but do it on your own terms and in complete control of your
world.

_________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 33 -
Epilogue

What you have just read, excepting the final chapter of course, is
essentially an excerpt from the book Never, Ever Settle…which is the
companion guide to my Virtuosity program.

For an even deeper discussion on great women and what it takes to


deserve them my recommendation is to start by reading my first book
Deserve What You Want. Among other relevant topics I disclose in the
book are the desirable traits of a woman who we should want to commit
to, and what traits in YOU a woman will (and should) want to commit to
in return.

The monthly audio program Power Sessions For Men is also almost
solely devoted to making the existence of great women in YOUR life a
reality. Be sure to check that out. It’s a must-listen for any man who is
serious about ending up with one of the greatest women on Earth…and
there’s no other program out there that is so laser-focused on absolute
excellence.

Ultimately, once you have become a man who deserves one of the
greatest women on Earth, you’ll be precisely where the book How To
Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life will prove most meaningful.

It is my sincerest hope that having read this report in combination with


Deserve What You Want, Cook For Your Date, How To Manage Your
Wildly Successful Dating Life, Power Sessions For Men and/or Secrets
To Success With Women For Shorter Men will result in life-changing
transformation for you…all for the better. If so, I would love to hear
your success stories. Please send them.

Along with success stories do you have questions? Ideas?


Comments? Send to questions@xandycommunications.net. All of
your feedback is welcome. If you like what you read, please feel free to
tell others. That’s how we build our audience. Read on for a list of the
special offers I have for you to that effect.

Be good,

Scot McKay

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 34 -
Special Offers For Readers

FREE Copy Of How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life


With Coaching Sessions

If you would like to take what you’ve learned in this report a step further,
direct one-on-one personal coaching sessions are available to you. Get
the personalized training towards becoming one of the few who
DESERVES what he WANTS, decides what that means in his life, and
knows how to go about getting it.

Write to me at info@xandycommunications.net including a brief


synopsis of where you are in your dating life currently and where you
would like to be in the near future. Be sure to include your phone
number or your Skype name. I will respond personally to each inquiry.

Every guy I work with gets a copy of How To Manage Your Wildly
Successful Dating Life at no additional charge.

Become An Affiliate For X & Y Communications

Are you a webmaster? If so sign up for our affiliate program today at


www.deservewhatyouwant.com/affiliates. We offer an outstanding
program with a particularly broad potential reach well outside the
boundaries you might expect.

Additionally, I work very closely with affiliates to custom-craft their


marketing plans to specific needs.

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 35 -
About The Author

Scot McKay graduated from Messiah College in Grantham, PA in 1988


with a Bachelor of Arts in Education. From there, he performed
graduate work in psychology and human dynamics while working as a
life coach to "at risk" kids in Yuma, AZ.

After a difficult divorce years later, Scot heard from virtually everyone
that "it wasn't his fault" and that "there was nothing he could have done"
to have been a better husband. Not accepting the victim's mindset, he
adopted an attitude of continuous research into exactly what it is that
attracts men and women to one another, and--more importantly--what
keeps them together for years.

In other words, what exactly is a "healthy" relationship, and what makes


it happen?

This research has been ongoing for over four years to date, and has
literally been a life-changer for him. The findings have been so
profound and meaningful that Scot has gone back to his roots after a
successful management career in IT...and X & Y Communications is
born.

Scot lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife Emily, with whom he hosts
the X & Y On The Fly (http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly) and
Online Dating Profile Rating (http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly)
podcast series.

________________________________________________________

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 36 -
About X & Y Communications

X & Y Communications was founded by Scot McKay in 2005.

Our organization exists entirely to help you become the best you can be
when it comes to dating and relationships--without having to learn and /
or do things the "hard way". It doesn't matter if you are young or old, as
yet unmarried, married, divorced or widowed. X & Y Communications
can help you maximize your success in preparing for and eventually
realizing the ultimate in relationships with a significant other.

True to what you’ve seen demonstrated in this book, we publish free


newsletters containing straight talk about the most creative subjects,
somehow encompassing character-based principles while being neither
too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important things head on. The
stuff you’ve heard a million times isn’t rehashed around here.

Check out the book Deserve What You Want at:


www.deservewhatyouwant.com/book

The second book Cook For Your Date is at: www.romantic-


dinner.com

How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life:


www.wildsuccess.net

Secrets To Success With Women For Shorter Men:


www.nottooshort.com

Power Sessions For Men:


www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/men

The VIRTOUSITY Advanced Series:


www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity

Podcast series are FREE and available at: http://www.x-net-


media.com

 2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved


E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 37 -

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