Professional Documents
Culture Documents
How To Identify and Attract A Quality Woman
How To Identify and Attract A Quality Woman
Scot McKay
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X & Y Communications harmless and free of any liability
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your own actions.
Introduction 5
Epilogue 34
If you are reading this report, you have likely discovered us through
listening to my recent interview with David DeAngelo. In that interview I
promised a report that was focused on helping you gain a richer
understanding of what exactly a quality woman looks like and what it
takes to attract her and keep her interested.
This document will cover all of that for you in a way that will both inform
you and challenge you.
Many of the thoughts and ideas that are in store ahead may be brand
new to you, which is something I take great pride in. From the very
inception of X & Y Communications, I vowed not to represent a “cookie
cutter” of any other type of dating advice out there.
Simply put, there are lots of guys out there who can teach you effective
tips and tricks for getting a phone number and going on dates.
Likewise, there are plenty of psychiatrists out there who can
psychoanalyze at the subjective level. And also, certainly, there are
plenty of spiritual leaders who can help you along the journey of being a
great man in the general sense.
My job, however, is to take you from having some, limited success with
women to enjoying absolute world-class excellence.
I can understand all of this because in all reality that’s where the market
is. We as men typically only move from top-dead-center (incidentally,
you’ll notice I have a penchant for gear head references) towards
getting help when things are at a crisis pitch. The discomfort of trying to
acquire information or skills we don’t yet have is usually more painful
than the discomfort of being clueless (or so we believe at the time).
And further, once we have things under some semblance of control,
The very fact that you are reading this demonstrates that you are man
who requires more of himself than that. Moving beyond grasp of the
basics when it comes to attracting women, you are about having total
control over your dating life. This means YOU want to be the “chooser”
instead of the “chaser”, and YOU wish to be the one who decides when
second dates happen instead of surrendering all of that power to the
women you meet. Ultimately, YOU wish to make a conscious decision
as to who to select for a lifetime of long-term partnership, and (perhaps
most critical) YOU want to be the one who decides when you want that
to happen.
It all makes ridiculously perfect sense, doesn’t it? Getting digits and
dates is only the first step. And as we all know, you’ll never become a
true artist until you move beyond painting by numbers.
Having this higher level of purpose, your dating life will amaze everyone
you know…including yourself. You will never, ever have to “settle” for
someone you didn’t really want because you will have done all the
necessary homework in order to avoid that kind of miserable life. You
will habitually have the sharpest woman at your side wherever you go—
and everyone will know it—because you deserve what you want.
In positioning yourself as such, you will have risen above the vast
majority of other men on this planet. Enjoy.
_________________________________________________________
There’s no better place to start this discussion than with straight talk on
how to figure out what we DON’T WANT if we are going after only the
highest echelon of women.
Granted, the “warning signs” of when to hit “eject” are not so easy to
recognize—especially when we are clouded by attraction. That said,
it’s important to realize that getting out of a potentially bad situation
tends to be more emotionally and possibly physically difficult as time
progresses
Here are the unequivocal signs of a bad, bad deal. No gray areas here.
Nothing subjective. When you encounter any of the following
traits…leave.
1) Addictions
Run away from all of this. You know you don’t want it, and
NOBODY deserves to be subject to it. This is ‘deserving what you
want’ at the most baseline level.
1) Evil
“Oh, s/he’s not a bad person, just misguided, etc.” Stop making
excuses for people. I’ve noticed that good people generally do not
want to “label” others as “bad”. It’s as if it’s a “bad thing” to consider
someone else bad. Get over it. There are bad people out there.
Again, do not be manipulated into a relationship with someone who
has bad intentions. Watch closely how such a person treats
animals, parents, wait staff, and / or anyone or anything else that
s/he has nothing to gain from personally.
2) Man Haters
If she has been “hurt” in the past by men that’s unfortunate. If this
has caused her to view all men as “bad” then run away. You will not
“change” such a woman any more than she will “change” something
she doesn’t like about you. Avoid the arrogant temptation to be her
“knight in shining armor”. The problem is bigger than you and was
there before you showed up.
2) Sexual Ambiguity
If your date has any leanings towards a sexual orientation that does
not match yours, RUN AWAY. This is not something where people
in disagreement compromise. If you have any doubts, throw them
on the proverbial table immediately. For example, you do not want
to be involved with someone bisexual if you are interested in a
monogamous relationship between two people. Similarly, you do
not want to be a part of someone’s plan to prolong “coming out” by
showing the world that s/he dates MOTOS (i.e. Members Of The
Opposite Sex). I’ve heard of a breathtaking number of cases where
couples were broken up by changes in and / or realizations of
differences in sexual orientation.
4) Emotional Instability
Have you ever known someone who you couldn’t ever really be sure
of when it comes to his or her demeanor? You know…you had no
idea which “version” of this person was going to “show up” at any
given time. Yeah, well…RUN AWAY from women who fit this
description.
5) Extreme Selfishness
Watch out for manipulators of this ilk. People like this can be utterly
fascinating to watch operate. Masters at “self-promotion”, the
manipulatively selfish know exactly how to get others to willingly do
what they want—preferably making them feel good about it all the
while (somehow).
When you find yourself dealing with anyone bearing the unmistakable
earmarks of “highly-avoidable people”, RUN AWAY. DO IT
IMMEDIATELY.
Whatever you do, do not fall into the temptation to “change him or her”
because you “care”. You will not.
_________________________________________________________
The truth is, however, that men don’t necessarily have the market
cornered when it comes to keeping their intentions under the table.
Women are quite capable of their fair share. My belief is that the most
common brand of dating trickery proffered by women tends to fly under
the radar a bit easier, however, and therefore is hardly ever (if at all)
called out. Since women are a bit more subtle about all of this, I’m
going to focus on understanding their side of the equation. After all,
male trickery is altogether too obvious…which continues to cause me
sheer amazement at how often women fall for it.
Here it is. Just like men try to trick women into sleeping with them way
too early in the relationship, women tend to try to trick men into
exclusive commitment way to early.
And a woman has the ability to equip herself with a formidable set of
tools when it comes to this stuff. Just like a woman can find herself in a
man’s bed and wonder how she got there, a man can very easily find
himself in an exclusive relationship he may not have been ready for,
and with a woman who may not even have been his first choice!
How does she do this? Here are some examples of the tactics
involved:
1) The Ultimatum
2) Extended Planning
She’ll buy tickets for a concert that’s a month away. She’ll invite him
to join her for some killer party that’s a few weeks (or months?) off.
If she can get him to make some financial “buy in” (e.g. ticket price,
renting a tux, etc.) then he’ll be more likely to stay around. In fact,
the concept of commitment based on financial involvement is a well-
known marketing principle. Here, as in so many facets of dating,
sales tactics translate directly into relationship strategy.
4) Marking Territory
She can leave a change of clothes on his dresser, just in case. She
can change shoes in his car and “accidentally” leave them behind
the passenger’s seat in the back. She can smear makeup in places
he may not notice but another woman would be sure to. She can
brush her hair in the bathroom, all but making sure strands of her
hair land in places where other women might notice it. And my all
2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 12 -
time favorite—she might “forget” and leave her earrings on the end
table in the living room (or some other place you’ll never see until
the next time guests are over).
Whatever happens, you can be sure if it’s done right most guys will
be potentially horrified to invite other women over (although they
shouldn’t be, which is the topic of other writings of mine elsewhere).
5) Key Introductions
6) Gifts
She may buy you something nice. Depending upon the limits of her
personal resources, we may be talking about something really nice.
Guys famously tend to use this tactic on women, thinking that they
can buy their way into a woman’s heart. Well, when a guy does
something like this it generally backfires. Some women are creeped
out by it, some women refuse nice gifts seeing potential ulterior
motives behind them, and others simply take the gifts and offer only
a “thank you” in return.
The interesting part, however, is that a woman who knows how men
think with regard to this process can capitalize upon it to drive
commitment from a man. Think about it—a man attempts to barrage
a woman with gifts because he thinks it will help earn her affections.
Why does he think like this? Simple. Because it would work on
him. If a woman realizes this, she knows she has an angle with
which she can get him to commit.
The problem is that although gift-giving works on a man, it’s not for
the expected reason. Rather than driving a warm-fuzzy nesting
reflex, it just flat-out makes him feel guilty if he dumps her after
getting such cool stuff from her.
So what’s the common thread here? Not surprisingly, the end result is
likely to be the same for tricksters of both the male and female
2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 13 -
persuasion. In either case, if the end goal is reached it’s nothing more
than an empty, Pyrrhic victory.
The moral to this story? Save the tricks, and watch out for hers. Be up-
front, take things at a mutually acceptable pace…and have a
symmetrical relationship based on depth rather than guilt or pressure.
_________________________________________________________
I’ve been writing for quite some time now, and the research I’ve done
on what attracts men and women to each other has been going on a lot
longer than that.
And if there’s one thing I’ve learned to truly be entertained by, it’s some
of these guys who proclaim themselves to be “great pick up artists”.
Many have learned how to make a living at this, and can purportedly
teach any man how to be “good with women”. And some of them have
the track record to back it up.
I’ve seen several who claim to have slept with tens of thousands of
women. You and I both know there’s a market for that kind of
“expertise”, and LOTS of guys are willing to pay to tap into that kind of
magical “way with women”.
And I believe they deserve exactly what they want. I cannot argue that.
What’s more, I don’t doubt these guys. I’m sure they are telling the
truth. But I am also absolutely positive that there’s much more to
success with women than “seduction”.
First, I’m no genius, but I’ve figured out something over the years that
seems to apply here. If I singularly focus on ONE THING to the point of
saturation, it soon loses its value to me. It’s just not all that fun
anymore. I just don’t want to make a full time lifestyle out of keeping up
with the expectation of having sex with two different women every day.
I think that would, well, lose its shine after a couple of years (?) or so.
To me, something that becomes a full time job just isn’t any fun
anymore after a while. Besides, how much “sexual variety” does it take
before the “novelty” wears off? If that last statement raised your
eyebrows, it could be because you haven’t slept with two new women a
day yet. Ultimately, something with more depth than simple sexual
variety for its own sake is going to become necessary.
And that goes double if I go and make a JOB out of it, teaching other
guys how to have nonstop sex. Then it’s just flat-out WORK after a
short while. And yes--I think this applies even to sex. If I slept with a
different woman—no, make that two—every day for thirty years straight,
Now, I fully understand that several of these “world class pickup artists”
have actually relocated to South America, Eastern Europe or other
places where the women are apparently more “sexually open” than they
are here in the good ol’ U-S-of-A.
Well, again. That’s fine for them. But on top of the other reasons I’ve
given for not joining them, add to the list that I LIKE IT HERE. And I like
the women here. And wherever YOU are, you may in fact not want to
pick up and move either.
And there lies the kicker. Clearly, even if a “pickup artist” achieves
“greatness” in seducing women, there is always going to be a certain
echelon of women that he is NEVER, EVER going to be able to have.
And despite all the sexual “success” he claims, that has to be an empty
feeling. I know so…because that’s what happens anytime the focus is
on getting more and more of something. Greed is never sufficiently fed,
is it?
I hear one of you guys out there still saying, “Oh come on, McKay.
Who would ever get sick of sex with two different women a day?” Well,
you would. Why? Because no matter how great something is, if it’s
ALL YOU’RE DOING it’s going to get BORING.
So who are these women who even the “world class” pick-up expert
can’t “bed”? Simple. They’re the ones with enough self-respect,
confidence and intelligence not to fall for being swindled into lowering
their standards.
The woman who will not be “tricked” into a half-day fling with a man
who wants nothing more than sex is unattainable to the “pick-up” artist.
Ironically, it would appear that the more women a pick-up artist has sex
with, the lower the bar gets set in terms of the pool from which he can
draw from. Women who at least want to take a shot at a committed
relationship just aren’t going to buy that. Ever. Neither are the women
who are confident enough not to invest false hope in what are arrantly
empty, deceitful promises designed uniquely to get her in bed. The
most confident women who are relationship-minded are therefore out of
bounds to the pick-up artist. Such women deserve what they want.
And they don’t want what the seducer is proffering.
Life is good when one deserves what one wants. One tends to get it.
Whatever “it” is.
So now we know what we don’t want, and we have the first concept
down in terms of making sure our own mindset is clear when it comes
to recognizing and deserving one of the good ones.
So now, let’s turn our attention to getting rid of some bad information
many of us have been programmed with. Have you ever been told you
were being “too shallow” when you expressed to someone what you
were looking for in a partner? I know I have.
If we say we want our future mate to look a certain way, we get the
“shallow” routine from people we talk to. Numerous women I’ve talked
to have reported that they draw similar disdain when they say they want
an “intelligent” man. Yeah, so why don’t men hear that when they
express such a desire for the woman they hope to meet? Here’s a
strong hint: It’s that double standard at play again.
Furthermore, we all know what a woman’s going to hear if she says she
hopes for a mate who is financially successful. My educated guess is
it’s probably something similar to what a guy hears when he talks about
what kind of body his future mate should have.
Well…um…exactly.
And who is perfect, for that matter? I happen to believe that people
who are “perfect”, whoever they are, must have a really hard time
Well, here it is: it really doesn’t matter which one of us has it figured
out. Neither situation involves someone going after a “perfect” person,
does it? Whether I want to find someone who is a lot like me or who
“completes” me she’s not a Barbie doll (which I will elaborate upon in
the next chapter).
When we’re considering who it is that we want to spend the rest of our
life with out of the six billion souls on Planet Earth, I hereby declare that
each and every one of us has every right to consider very diligently
exactly who that person should be and which traits he or she should
have. In fact, I highly recommend you do so.
And once you do that, make sure you are the kind of mate who is going
to make that person equally thrilled to spend a lifetime with you.
Deserve what you want.
Now, more on the subject of what kind of women it is, exactly, who you
WOULDN’T be “settling” for.
_________________________________________________________
Please tell me that you know better than to believe what the media tells
you about what the opposite gender is attracted to. I mean, you don’t
believe all that drivel you are fed on a constant basis…do you?
Oh, I know. It’s easy for both men and women to get brainwashed by
the exhortations to lose the weight, gain the bust size, re-grow the hair,
get rid of the hair, etc., etc., etc. Somewhere along the line, some of us
even started believing that women should have six-pack abs and tight
biceps (as if men are attracted to masculine features). Taller, blonder,
leaner, lighter, darker, curvier, straighter, bigger, faster, more, more,
more.
Last summer Emily and I were in California, and decided to hang out in
Beverly Hills for a while. Well, 90210 lives up to its hype in every way.
So much money, and so much frustration wrapped up in one
(expensive) package. We saw one woman who literally had undergone
so much plastic surgery that she was a shadow of who she was
supposed to be. And her insecurity was written all over her face. Here
was a woman who had every resource in the world available to her,
made use of them all, and was still categorically miserable.
The sad irony of all of this is that the vast majority of us don’t even find
the media’s representation of “beauty” attractive…at least not when it
comes to selecting a woman. In fact, despite the steady message of
perceived inadequacy we are all fed, I’ve happened upon an amazing
realization: A surprising number of us (and maybe even you) tend to be
particularly attracted to someone who is the opposite-gender version of
who we are.
And guess what? I don’t find “Barbie” sexually attractive in the least.
Let me tell you what I mean. Forget those “Miss America” types. Give
me a petite little brunette with the “cuteness” working. Forget the long
flowing “goldilocks” and give me that spunky, wispy short hair. Drop the
plans for a “boob job” and keep it proportional. And for heaven’s sake,
EAT something. I want someone I can hug. OK…pierce the belly
button and I have to admit that rounds out a perfect female package.
Maybe how your “perfect woman” looks is completely in line with mine.
I hear you, my brother. On the other hand, maybe you are rolling your
eyes at my preferences. Good for you, just as long as you’ve
FIGURED OUT YOUR OWN. Do not let some plastic media vision
dictate who you are “attracted” to.
And indeed what I want isn’t necessarily what the media is telling me I
should want. But what an amazing feeling of freedom to be able to
have the courage to find a mate who meets my own exacting
specifications, rather than someone else’s.
Ok, so we know what a primo woman looks like and what her standards
are. There’s so much more beyond that.
_________________________________________________________
One time when I still had an online profile posted, I received an email
from a spunky, redheaded, and very cute eighteen-year-old girl (yeah, I
said “girl”, not “woman”). After a lengthy rant in email form about how
“all the guys her own age were boring” and such, she announced she
wanted to “settle down and have about ten kids or so”. Considering she
had spent what must have been a half-hour composing this message to
me, I felt somewhat obligated to at least respond (a belief which I by no
means impose upon those of you reading this, incidentally). Although
tempted to reply with one of my typical single-liners (in this case, “You
lost me at ‘hello’”), I went the more pragmatic route.
I explained that I was flattered, and I was sure she was a wonderful,
albeit verbose person. But at 39 years of age I doubted I had ten more
kids tucked away in my future.
One of you guys out there reading this is currently throwing something
at your computer monitor and exclaiming, “WHAT? Are you NUTS?” I
assure you that I am perfectly sane.
Oh yeah.
You see, I have a hypothesis that you may find particularly interesting in
its irony. I firmly believe that most, if not all older men who obsess
about dating girls younger than legal drinking age have something in
common: they CAN’T do so. That’s right—any older man who actually
CAN get a date with a very young woman will quickly tire of it. It’s the
old philosophy at work here called “getting kills wanting”. Sure, young
women are cuties and all. But to tell you the truth, if I am going to be
babysitting anyone, I’d rather get paid for it than shelling out the bucks
myself for a date. Know what I mean?
2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 22 -
Oh sure, I’ve dated my share of younger women over the past few
years. As a guy in my late thirties I did my darnedest to justify it, even
giving several women of the advanced age of 25 or 26 an honest shot
thinking they were “exceptionally mature”. In the end, they weren’t.
Like many things I talk about around here, it’s disarmingly simple: I
have realized that the greatest find in the world is a woman closer to my
age who seems exceptionally young for her age.
Think about it. How can you miss with this approach? If I am with a 35
year old woman who still gets carded routinely because she seems 23,
I’ve beaten the “system” (whatever that means). In such a person, I
find all of the vibrant, youthful, enthusiastic beauty of a younger woman
wrapped in the mature persona of a REAL woman who can relate with
me to the mid-80s. What more could a guy want?
Perhaps you are reading this and recognizing that it’s an exceptionally
rare woman who can pull off looking twelve years younger than she is.
Granted. The running joke in my case is that I dated all four of them.
The truth, though, is that such women are out there and they are often
single. Since we see them around and (lamely) don’t bother to
introduce ourselves, though, we may automatically be assuming they
are younger than they are. Again, however, you must DESERVE
THEM.
Even so, I was careful to say “seems 23” instead of “looks 23”.
Everyone, man or woman, has control over how he or she chooses to
act. Whoever you are, if you want to deserve a “seemingly younger”
person to hang out with you MUST keep an adventurous, fun attitude of
enjoyment toward what life has to offer. In doing so you will absolutely,
positively be sending all the right messages. Now if you take care of
yourself physically and stay away from the “free radicals” (e.g. smoking)
that a life of hardcore partying hands down, so much the better. But
that said, the vast majority of what we are discussing here comes down
to attitude even more so than physical appearance.
And guys, the same holds true for us. Sure, grow UP. Be mature, have
things handled and don’t act like an immature little boy. But never, ever
lose that sparkle in your eye. Keep the youthful excitement about life
and a healthy sense of adventure and you’ll literally mesmerize women.
How cool is all of this, right? Great. Now go deserve what you want.
_________________________________________________________
Have you ever happened across the Jerry Springer Show (I know this
group can't actually be Tivoing it or anything…too high class a crowd)
and noticed how people who are cheaters can’t seem to venture too far
from home? I mean, the “other partner” always seems to be drawn
from a very shallow pool of best friends, sisters, brothers, father-in-
laws, etc. ALL THE TIME. If you are going to cheat, at least get far
enough from the nest that you at might have a fighter’s chance at not
getting caught. Right? And good grief, does anyone ever think about
how awkward the family time at Thanksgiving is going to be when all of
the dust clears?
Whatever.
For the record, no. Cheaters don't think about any of this stuff. There
is no thought process here. Just the adrenaline rush.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not discounting the concept of someone
wanting out of a dismal relationship so badly that they may actually
WANT to get caught cheating, just so the burden of ending the
relationship is on the other person. I'm sure that enters into it often,
actually.
Obviously I ruminate upon this sort of thing a good bit. I should, after all
it’s my job to. But still, the concept of cheating on a partner in a
committed relationship always causes me to rehearse the line, “what
goes around comes around” just one more time.
Why?
Suppose for a brief second that you are feeling bored / sick /
unattracted / flaky toward you committed partner. You have an affair
with someone who "floats your boat" more buoyantly. Yeah, well, both
you and your new, apparently exciting friend are CHEATERS. And
should you choose to leave your committed partner for your new friend,
you will both still be CHEATERS.
The takeaway here is that both YOU and your PARTNER will have built
whatever you build together upon CHEATING.
Will you be left wallowing in the error of your ways? Not if you
DESERVE WHAT YOU WANT today…and stay true a habit of NOT
cheating. If you are dating someone now and there are issues, work
them out. If you need to get out more together, do so. And if you need
to break up an exclusive relationship, do so before heading on to
"greener pastures". The proper thing to do is break off one committed
relationship before starting another. This is the only way around the
cheating issue. And yes...if you are "separated"...consider thoroughly
the importance of waiting until the divorce is final before dating other
people. You are still married until that happens, and dating under these
circumstances generally raises subtle doubts in the mind of those you
go out with.
2007 X & Y Communications. All Rights Reserved
E-Mail Scot McKay: scot@datetoorder.com
Relationship Management: www.the-leading-man.com
- 26 -
But whatever you do, don’t sleep with your sister-in-law just to make a
point, okay? It’s not going to lead to happiness.
Next, let’s take the gloves off and have a man-to-man talk about how to
get a woman who’ll make you forget about cheating anyway.
_________________________________________________________
Being in the business I’m in, and being a man, I’m often asked by guys
how to get women to have sex with them. Ironically enough, my
answer typically involves some iteration of, “Well, genius, stop trying so
hard to get them to have sex with you.”
But as many of us have already encountered time and again in life, one
of the most oft-repeated blunders in the business world is “If something
isn’t working, do twice as much of it.”
Is this attributable to the old theory that “the more you chase something
the more elusive it becomes”? Maybe in part, but there’s much more to
it.
Okay, then. Is it because most women are wise to such motives and
don’t give in? Unfortunately, that’s not it either. There seems to be
equal numbers of women these days who are okay with casual sex
(even without moving to South America, incidentally).
I submit that maybe the problem isn’t the women. Come on now, you
can’t really believe that all women are passive, asexual and/or even
frigid, can you? Well, maybe if that helps you sleep at night.
Most women know all too well that one man’s “dead lay” is another
man’s “Siren/Vixen” (“S/V”). And “I/J”s don’t experience “S/V”s so
much.
To top this discussion off properly, it’s my firm belief that the highest
echelon of women on Earth that we are talking about are also the
greatest in bed. Go and try to figure THAT out. And when you do,
deserve what you want.
Note: The following is an adapted reprint from the very last chapter of
my book How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life. If you are
a man whose ability to deserve a great woman is firing on all cylinders,
you are the guy I’m writing to in that book—what is in there represents
the pinnacle of where my thought process ultimately leads. If you are
still getting there, no worries. Wild success with women is just around
the corner for you as it was for me.
You’ve done everything it takes to get your own game together, and
you’ve been a man or woman who deserves what you want for
sometime now. In fact, you’ve found a partner as terrific as you are, so
the question will inevitably surface: Is it time to “pop the question”
around here?
I believe a lot of us really have not spent enough time ruminating upon
what it really takes to consider a decision to make marriage plans. And
make no mistake, my friends, this is the kind of thought that should go
on long before you are ever in the position to actually act upon what
you think and / or feel.
When I met Emily I had been dating a LOT for a LONG time. I
was already considering which of three women in my life I had
narrowed down to was the best to keep long term—all of whom
were women I could easily have been happy with. When Emily
came along, though, I recognized her as the ultimate option
because I had a finely tuned sense of what I wanted. I deserved
her in return so she responded with immensely positive energy.
Hey, make sure she really wants to be married too. You just
can’t assume that from women.
Laugh if you will, but I’ve seen first-hand how couples justify
long-term relationships despite getting on each other’s nerves
big time. I personally don’t get it, and if you deserve what you
want I surely hope you don’t want that. To me this is the ultimate
representation of a relationship driven purely by sexual
attraction. You can and should do much better. Go for the
complete package.
When you know that you’ve seen the person at his or her most
relaxed (and at his or her worst, for that matter), then and only
then are you in a position to speculate regarding what the future
really holds.
Sure, she goes shoe shopping while you watch the game. But
do you know how to enjoy leisure time together? We’re not just
talking about sex here. I always thought it would be amazing to
find a woman who would want to go BMX racing with me. As it
turns out, that wasn’t so farfetched. Couples who play together
stay together.
10) You have no doubt in your mind that you are committed to
your partner as he/she is to you
Turnabout is fair play here. Are you completely sure you are
trustworthy? Do you harbor fantasies about cheating on your
future spouse? If you are focusing too much on someone else—
especially if that “someone else” is potentially available to you,
then my suggestion is to get that resolved before feigning
“commitment” to someone who would be truly committed to you.
Whether you feel you are ready for marriage or not is okay. One should
never feel pressured either way. The framework for a solid marriage
with a great long-term prognosis can only be established when both
partners truly want to be there…and believe wholeheartedly in both the
future and in each other.
After all, isn’t that what love is for? Otherwise, feel free to keep
dating…but do it on your own terms and in complete control of your
world.
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What you have just read, excepting the final chapter of course, is
essentially an excerpt from the book Never, Ever Settle…which is the
companion guide to my Virtuosity program.
The monthly audio program Power Sessions For Men is also almost
solely devoted to making the existence of great women in YOUR life a
reality. Be sure to check that out. It’s a must-listen for any man who is
serious about ending up with one of the greatest women on Earth…and
there’s no other program out there that is so laser-focused on absolute
excellence.
Ultimately, once you have become a man who deserves one of the
greatest women on Earth, you’ll be precisely where the book How To
Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life will prove most meaningful.
Be good,
Scot McKay
If you would like to take what you’ve learned in this report a step further,
direct one-on-one personal coaching sessions are available to you. Get
the personalized training towards becoming one of the few who
DESERVES what he WANTS, decides what that means in his life, and
knows how to go about getting it.
Every guy I work with gets a copy of How To Manage Your Wildly
Successful Dating Life at no additional charge.
After a difficult divorce years later, Scot heard from virtually everyone
that "it wasn't his fault" and that "there was nothing he could have done"
to have been a better husband. Not accepting the victim's mindset, he
adopted an attitude of continuous research into exactly what it is that
attracts men and women to one another, and--more importantly--what
keeps them together for years.
This research has been ongoing for over four years to date, and has
literally been a life-changer for him. The findings have been so
profound and meaningful that Scot has gone back to his roots after a
successful management career in IT...and X & Y Communications is
born.
Scot lives in San Antonio, TX with his wife Emily, with whom he hosts
the X & Y On The Fly (http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly) and
Online Dating Profile Rating (http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly)
podcast series.
________________________________________________________
Our organization exists entirely to help you become the best you can be
when it comes to dating and relationships--without having to learn and /
or do things the "hard way". It doesn't matter if you are young or old, as
yet unmarried, married, divorced or widowed. X & Y Communications
can help you maximize your success in preparing for and eventually
realizing the ultimate in relationships with a significant other.