"Well, I'm basically echoing most everyone else here, but yeah.

You want revenge

. You'll have your revenge, and it will be sweet and it will be well deserved. B
ut right now, the only tool you have is emotion, and it's not going to work agai
nst either one of them. You could beat the poo poo out of this guy, and it would
feel fantastic, but it would be petty in the long run. You could guilt the hell
out of this girl, you could make her sob openly and beg for you back, but again
, that's not going to last very long.
Calm down. Breathe. This isn't the end of a beautiful love life that ended sudde
nly, this is the beginning of the rest of your goddam life, and it's only going
to get better from here. You're free. Realize that. This girl wanted to marry yo
u, and she's willing to fuck a dipshit guitar teacher behind your back?
You dodged a massive fucking bullet, man. The really huge Super Mario kind with
the eyes on the side, where you had to run and duck into the little divit to avo
id shrinking. You did that. You got into that divit, and you're still super size
d, and you can break blocks with your face. Now get out there and step on some f
ucking turtles."
-TheRedEye
-------------------------------------------It's video games. Specifically, video games you can win or finish. That's ruined
everything. When we were kids, there was one thing we all knew: The Space Invad
ers were coming. Yes, you could shoot at them, you could destroy them, and you m
ight slow them down a little, but then they would resume their inexorable march.
You couldn't stop them. You couldn't win against them.
Missile Command, as well. It only had one ending: the flashing words THE END acc
ompanying the inevitable nuclear holocaust. Yes, you could somewhat postpone thi
s, but it was going to happen. The question was not whether you'd fail, but how
much time would pass until you fail.
This taught us the reality of life. There is no winning. You'll never be on top
of the mountain holding the sword and the princess with your foot planted on the
corpse of the villain. There is no final boss who is difficult to defeat but st
ill possible to defeat. There is only an endless marching horde of space invader
s, bearing down on you until you submit
-------------------------------------------Erosion: "Interesting that all the questions are phrased as if men are the only
gender capable of surprise sex. If I hate women that think like this, am I a mis
ogynist, or just rational?"
Blaaard: "You're a rapist."
-------------------------------------------"I am the new number two. You are the new number SUCKS." -- Livestock (?)
-------------------------------------------(news story about some kid getting expelled for bringing Advil to school)
getfiscal:You also don't know what it's like. These kids come in with guns and t
hreaten teachers. They burn down their science classrooms and make irreparable d
ents to band instruments. Sometimes you have to take them down on advil like Al
Capone with tax evasion.
--------------------------------------------

"Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a
string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the
stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs,
spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey ma
kes an attempt with the same result - all the other monkeys are sprayed with col
d water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other m
onkeys will try to prevent it. Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey f
rom the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and w
ants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys a
ttack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb
the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes pa
rt in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey
with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey take
s to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have n
o idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participa
ting in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monke
ys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water.
Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.
Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been done around
here.
And that, my friends, is how company policy begins."
------------------------------------------gently caress all the pop song puppy love bullshit. Your heart skipping a beat i
sn't love, it's cardiac arrhythmia. It's not about shortness of breath, either,
or how turned on you get or whether you tell yourself you'd throw yourself in fr
ont of a bus for her or whatever. You can convince yourself of a lot about how y
ou feel and what you would do in exchange for regular oral sex.
Love is when she drives you insane sometimes. And I don't mean merely "aggravati
ng" or "annoying," I mean flat-out fucking in. Sane. And in a way nobody else ca
n do it in a million years. She'll drive you to the point where you'd gouge out
your own eyeball with a melon baller or smack your scrotum a half-dozen times wi
th a ball peen hammer if it means you can be done with this conversation. She'll
make you want to chew your own arm off to get out of talking about this. And I
don't care how many fucking times you've had this conversation, each time, you k
now you'll have it again:
Her: I thought you turned the heat on.
You: I did.
Her: Well, I'm still cold. Are you sure you did it right?
You: Yes, I'm pretty sure I know how to turn on a thermostat.
Her: 'Cause you know you have to flip the switch to "heat" and....
You: Honey! I know! How to turn on! A thermostat! I went to college for it and e
verything.
Her: Well, I don't feel any heat blowing in here.
You: I know. I think you broke the thermostat again.
Her: I didn't break it.
You: Yes, you did, you put that halogen lamp right next to it again.
Her: That doesn't do anything.
You: Yes, it does.
Her: I thought you fixed it?
You: I did fix it, and you broke it again.
Her: Are you sure you fixed it right?

You: Yes, goddammit, I fixed it right.

Her: How do you know you fixed it?
You: 'Cause it worked when I fixed it!
Her: Well, it's not working now.
You: 'Cause you broke it again!
Her: How'd I break it?
You: You put the goddamn, loving lamp next to it!
Her: I don't see why a lamp would break a thermostat.
You: OK. I'm going to explain this. One more time. Slowly. Thermostats have a co
il inside them that expands and contracts based on the temperature. This is how
they know when it is hotter than the setting of the A/C, so it can cool the room
off, or colder than the setting of the heating, so it can heat the room up. Hal
ogen lamps generate heat. Halogen lamps generate a lot of heat. That's why you b
urn your fingers when you touch the bulbs after they've been on for a while. So
when you put a halogen lamp next to a thermostat, it causes the coil to keep exp
anding and expanding and expanding past the point it's intended to expand. This
makes the thermostat think it's really, really hot all the time, and it makes th
e coil less sensitive in the future, and it'll eventually break the coil so I'll
have to replace the thermostat.
Her: That doesn't sound right.
You: Trust me. It's right.
Her: How do you know?
You: BECAUSE I TOOK SIXTH GRADE FUCKING PHYSICS, OK?!
Her: Well, I don't think they should make thermostats that can be broken by some
thing little like a lamp.
You: Fine. Don't think that. Write a letter to the manufacturers. Write a letter
to universities and tell them to build a better thermostat. I don't loving care
. But that's how they make them. That's why I keep moving the lamp, that's why I
keep telling you not to put it back to the right of the bookcase, that's why I'
ve had to fix the thermostat four loving times now. Stop! Putting! The lamp! Rig
ht! Next! To the thermostat!
Her: But on the other side of the bookcase, the front of the hallway is dark, an
d I can't see inside my gift closet.
You: Well, you can turn on the hall light to go through your gift closet, or you
can sit here and be cold! Your choice, honey!
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her: I don't think you fixed the thermostat right.
You: GOD-MOTHERFUCKING-DAMMIT, I'M GOING TO FIX THAT MOTHERFUCKING THERMOSTAT TO
MORROW, AND I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IF YOU PUT THE LAMP NEAR THE THERMOS
TAT AGAIN, I WILL SMASH IT TO A MILLION FCUKING PIECES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR
GODDAMN THROAT!!! MOTHERFUCK ME, JESUS!!!!!!
And if the seventh time you have that conversation, knowing full well there will
be an eighth time, you'd still rather have that conversation again than imagine
a world she's not in, you're in love.
Especially if you do fix that thermostat... again... the next day, and not just
so she'll shut up about it, but because you really don't want her to be cold any
more.
----------------------------------------------YOUR INCESSANT FAGGOTRY IS PROOF THAT THERE IS NO GOD
You are worthless in ways you won't ever comprehend. I'm washing my hands of you
here and now - don't ever speak to me again.

"Yeah? That dent in your forehead? It's from the coathanger where your mom faile
d at aborting you. Coathanger poked a bunch and just jarred you around. Maybe th
at's why you're retarded"
"You were the load your mom was supposed to swallow"
"You're the perfect example of why fourth trimester abortions should be made leg
al"
You are a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity
----------------------------------------------few years ago I was at a Christmas Party with some of my old college buddies. Th
is one guy was there with his wife who is a total bitch and to make it worse she
was hammered. I had just gotten divorced from one of her friends and she was gi
ving me poo poo about it. Telling me it was all my fault and that I was a dirtba
g for leaving her, etc. etc..
Well this bitch and her husband had just had twins and they had a hell of a time
conceiving and had to spend a poo poo load of money on fertility treatments.
Well I had had about enough of her poo poo and way to much to drink so I turned
to her and said,
"I am surprised that <insert husband's name> has stayed with you this long consi
dering that you had to spend $10,000 to make your cunt work right."
Maybe it wasnt the WRONG loving THING, but it was horrible.
------------------------------------------------"I don't trust anyone. Not even my best friends. People are shallow, predictable
, selfish, shortsighted, irrational, undisciplined scum who cannot be hosed in t
he least to pay attention to the results of their actions or consider the feelin
gs of other human beings. Ever had your roomie drink your last milk without repl
acing it? Humans are like that in all aspects of life. Parents neglect and abuse
their children, children don't see their parents even at their deathbed, your b
est friend will stand by as other human filth beats you within an inch of your l
ife, the love of your life will suck off another guy when you turn your back, th
e government doesn't care about the people who live in their country at all beca
use they bask in the comfort of being able to afford the best anyway, doctors co
nsider you a case number and don't lose a second of sleep over what mistakes the
y ruin your life with, gigantic corporations are fistfucking the planet on a dai
ly basis only to see a bunch of numbers rise on a computer screen, heroin shooti
ng scum will stab you to death for pocket change, racist mongrels will crack you
r head open for having the wrong skin color, deranged religious zealots are plan
ning to blow you up for not praying to the world's most widespread imaginary fri
end and when they do your own political zealots will send you to a country you o
nly know from the TV to shoot people who are just as afraid, disappointed and un
willing as you. Humanity is like a barrel of starving rats, killing, fucking and
feeding until the end of time, the only thing keeping us from extermination bei
ng our ironic position at the top of evolution. If there was something bigger th
an us out there, it would have drowned us in a canvas bag a long time ago."
------------------------------------------------